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jihyo doesn’t think she’s an overachiever in the same way that an alcoholic doesn’t think they’re an alcoholic and an idiot believes they’re a genius. and okay, maybe, the need to get the highest grade in a course should’ve been left in high school, and there’s bound to be at least one person smarter than her in a university with thousands of students. she’s accepted that in the same way that her parents accepted her sexuality; kind of, but they’re still holding out hope that it’s untrue.
which is why she can’t hide the disappointment on her face when she walks up to the list of posted grades, finds her assigned student code for the course and sees a whopping 97%. then she moves her finger up one column and sees a 98. her eye twitches.
stupid student TW012 managed to get a higher grade than her, again. it’s starting to become ridiculous, honestly, because jihyo knows she studies hard and puts care and effort into each of her assignments and she doesn’t understand how one person in that class has her beat every. single. time.
her knuckles are white around her backpack straps as she leaves the lecture hall and gets lost in the bustle of students. nayeon finds her stirring sugar into her coffee so aggressively that she fears the bottom of the cup might rip open.
“uh, hey?” nayeon greets awkwardly. “you good?” jihyo looks up, remembers student TW012 and their stupid superior intellect and her eye twitches again and nayeon takes a step back. “woah,” the older girl mumbles, eyes wide. “who pissed in your cheerios this morning?”
“ha-ha, very funny,” jihyo drawls. “TW012 beat me again.”
“ah, the secret einstein that has the great park jihyo in shambles?” nayeon snickers and the sugar packet to her face is worth it. “i still don’t get why your prof posts the grades like that. is that even allowed?”
jihyo shrugs as they make their way to a table in the back of the coffee shop. “he gave us all codes that are different from our student numbers, a loophole i guess. he said it’s to ‘keep our competitive spirit up’, or something.”
“he sounds like a weirdo.”
jihyo cracks a smile and immediately regrets it, because nayeon looks entirely too smug. if jihyo doesn’t humble im nayeon, no one will, and if her ego gets any bigger it might pop. she’s in the middle of imagining what a popped ego might actually entail when she notices someone approaching their table out of her peripheral vision.
“hey,” mina greets kindly as she bends down to give nayeon a quick kiss on the cheek. her hair looks like it’s been messed up by the wind in a way that’s entirely too perfect and jihyo will never understand how this girl has never had a bad day. “sorry i’m late. i hope you don’t mind, but i brought sana. i don’t know if you’ve met before,” she says to jihyo.
and that’s when jihyo notices the second person standing by the table. she looks up and sees a girl with pink hair and a beautiful smile and she looks so familiar that jihyo’s lips are moving before her brain catches up with her.
“oh, we have stats together,” she says and feels proud when sana perks up at being recognized.
“yeah, how did you do on the assignment?” sana asks as she takes a seat across from her and she sounds so interested that jihyo’s pessimism is unable to rear its ugly head.
“i did, um, okay, i guess,” she shrugs.
sana laughs and jihyo doesn’t know if angels exist, but she thinks that’s what they would sound like.
“me too, i think.”
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mina and jihyo try to get together every weekend because they both share the same tendency to stress over school and they both share many of the same interests that help them relax. nayeon complains regularly that jihyo is trying to steal her girlfriend (even though, technically, jihyo knew mina first), but she still lets them use the apartment she shares with jihyo to give them their ‘nerd time’, as she calls it.
that particular saturday, however, there’s a knock on the door and jihyo goes to open it because she’s been expecting mina. she already has their favourite harry potter films set up in order for them to marathon and maybe she’s wearing her ravenclaw hoodie because she’s excited, okay?
so she jumps to the door like there’s springs on her feet and she calls out i hope you didn’t forget the pretzels. she’s ready to pull mina into a bear hug because harry potter is one of her favourite series and she feels extra energetic today and she opens the door and-
it’s not mina.
jihyo’s cheesy smile drops into a surprised expression when she sees sana standing on the other side of the door. the girl gives her a sheepish wave and jihyo notices her pink hair is up in a ponytail today.
“i didn’t know there was an entry fee.” sana looks half-apologetic, half-cheeky, and jihyo’s face flushes red when she realizes she’s wearing harry potter merch and sweatpants in front of a very pretty girl.
“oh, i-um, no, i just thought you-”
“woo, those stairs are a bitch,” mina huffs as she waltzes past a jumbled up jihyo and an amused sana and collapses onto the couch.
“you took the stairs?” jihyo asks after she steps to the side so sana can enter their apartment. she’s still confused about the other girls presence, but decides it’s not the worst thing in the world. far from it, actually.
“sana bet me that i couldn’t beat her here if i took the stairs and she took the elevator,” mina says breathlessly from where she lay sprawled out on the sofa. jihyo looks between the two roommates amusedly and sees sana smirking.
“and now you owe me gong cha. you really shouldn’t be so cocky, mitang.”
“sana?” nayeon calls out before she emerges from her room. “oh, you’re here!” she cheers and greets sana with a hug, completely ignoring her out of breath girlfriend. “since sana and jihyo have met, i’ve decided that she and i will have cool kid time, while you two have your little nerd fest.”
“and by ‘cool kid time’ she means we’ll be watching dramas in her room,” sana whispers to jihyo with a wink and it makes the shorter girl burst into laughter. nayeon begins grumbling something along the lines of it wasn’t that funny and i regret this already before she tugs sana toward her room.
hours later, when they’re finally on the goblet of fire, jihyo hears nayeon’s bedroom door open and then sana comes into her vision with a tentative smile. she points to the spot next to jihyo and asks, “mind if i join? nayeon fell asleep.” and all jihyo can do is scoot over. mina fell asleep well into prisoner of azkaban, but jihyo didn’t feel tired, and the fourth film is her favourite so she decided it would be the last one before bed.
sana feels warm next to her and jihyo can barely pay attention to the tv screen.
“i like your hoodie, by the way,” sana says but her eyes are still fixed on the way harry begins to grow gills on screen. “i think i’m more of a slytherin myself.”
jihyo’s kind of stunned at the comment and the knowing smirk on sana’s face and part of her wants to give sana a good impression of her, but she doesn’t really have a filter so she just says the first thing that comes to mind.
“did you know that, scientifically, the gills he has here wouldn’t provide him with enough oxygen to actually survive?” and god, way to go park, she thinks, because why would any girl as pretty as sana want to know that.
but then, sana laughs. it’s light and airy and she’s looking right at jihyo and jihyo kind of can’t breathe. something about sana’s eyes feel like childhood innocence, a familiarity that jihyo can bask in, but there’s a spark of something else that sends jolts of electricity through her veins every time they make eye contact.
“i did, actually,” sana says with a smile. “mina read your text to me when you told her about it.” it falls silent between them as they focus on the movie again, until, “maybe now i’ll be able to get these fun facts straight from the source.”
jihyo’s mouth opens and closes a few times as she tries to come up with something to say before she realizes that she must look like an idiot. her cheeks are burning from how embarrassed she is, but then sana’s placing her hand on jihyo’s lap and there’s a soft smile on her face that softens tenfold by the glow of the television illuminating her features and jihyo thinks maybe things are okay.
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when sana walks into the room, jihyo thinks even the sun bows its head in shame.
sana turns their trio into a quintet because her schedule matches theirs kind of perfectly and jihyo wonders why mina hadn’t brought her around earlier. she fits into their little group like she was meant to be there. it livens up every coffee date, movie marathon, and bar hangout more than anyone could’ve expected.
she’s captivating and daring and kind and gentle all at the same time and it makes jihyo dizzy in the best way possible.
nayeon and mina (mostly mina) are good at making sure that jihyo doesn’t feel like a third wheel when they hang out. more often than not, actually, it’s nayeon that’s left whining about being ignored by her best friend and her girlfriend when they get too carried away in a topic that she does not have the willpower to care about. but it’s still nice to have sana there now; someone to walk a little bit slower with when nayeon and mina get lost in their own world, someone to laugh with when nayeon blushes after mina takes her hand or kisses her sweetly because god, that girl is whipped.
it’s nice to have sana there because she is nothing like jihyo and yet sometimes jihyo manages to catch parts of herself reflected in the other girl. when people aren’t looking, when it’s quiet and dark and jihyo offers to walk sana home after a late night, sana shows jihyo little things that say maybe they aren’t as different as jihyo first thought.
she starts to dream about pink hair and the way angels laugh. she wakes up feeling like she could fight god and win every single time.
they start to sit together in stats class, so it’s kind of inevitable for sana to ask if jihyo wants to study for the upcoming midterm together. jihyo knows it’s a bad idea, knows she studies better alone and already promised to study with nayeon to keep the older girl on track, but there’s a hopefulness in sana’s eyes and a fluttering in jihyo’s chest so she agrees anyway.
sana invites mina and then nayeon invites momo, who invites jeongyeon and chaeyoung and then dahyun and tzuyu are tagging along because the whole group hasn’t seen each other in a long time and for some reason they think studying for midterms would be the best time to catch up.
jihyo’s annoyed as soon as she gets there.
nayeon and jeongyeon are in the middle of throwing things at each other and on the verge of physically attacking because it’s been a while and all of their pent-up need to mock each other is being unleashed in their little study room. mina, bless her soul, is huddled up with tzuyu and dahyun in a corner of the room as they try to ignore the ruckus and focus on their econ notes. momo and chaeyoung are... vlogging(?) as chaeyoung hops around between nayeon and jeongyeon and momo films with her cellphone and they’re shouting something about mochaeng tv and jihyo has a headache.
then the door opens, and sana walks in, and jihyo’s mood gets infinitely brighter. (somewhere in the sky, the sun dims out of embarrassment.)
“sorry i’m late,” sana says breathlessly as she takes a seat next to jihyo. she places a coffee in front of the younger girl and her smile is so contagious that jihyo can’t help but smile back. “figured you’d need a pick me up after i saw the text you sent me before bed. At 6 a.m.”
jihyo blushes when sana pokes her cheek and just like that, her annoyance dissipates into nothing, because sana has found a way to seep her happiness into the empty spots in jihyo’s heart that had begun to fill with resentment, and she finds herself smiling more often than not because of it.
after sana arrives, it’s like everyone remembers why they’re really here and it’s not until thirty minutes of relative quiet pass before jihyo looks up and takes in the study room with fondness etched into her feature. she sees jeongyeon explaining the stance that descartes had on god in relation to sin, while a very confused nayeon tries her best to keep up. she sees tzuyu, mina, and dahyun quizzing each other and sharing snacks as rewards every time they get an answer right. she sees momo and chaeyoung finally settled into a corner, huddled in front of chaeyoung’s laptop as they focus on the project they have in lieu of a midterm.
then she sees sana. sana, who’s sitting next to her, whose glasses are perched on her nose because her contacts began to dry out her eyes, who’s biting the cap of her highlighter as her eyes scan over the practice booklet she has in front of her, whose eyebrows are furrowed in a way that makes jihyo want to reach over and soften them out. jihyo smiles, sana hears it, somehow, and they make eye contact.
there’s electricity in jihyo’s veins.
sana gives her a half smile that looks a little bit confused, but mostly happy that she’s receiving attention.
“stuck?” sana asks. jihyo shakes her head a little and snaps out of her trance, but the smile is still ghosting on her lips.
“sorry, i just zoned out.”
sana sticks her tongue out at jihyo and the suddenness makes jihyo laugh and then sana is smiling smugly, like her only goal was to pull the sound from the younger girl and the thought makes jihyo’s stomach flip. she looks down at her notes again, tries to ignore the fluttering she feels throughout her nerves. then sana slides her hand so, so slowly until their pinkies are touching and she lets her finger rest over jihyo’s and it’s enough for them.
mina looks up at that moment, sees jihyo’s flushed face and sana’s shy smile as they both look at their respective study materials. then her gaze drops to where their pinkies are intertwined and she feels a smile creep up onto her features against her will because it feels like things are falling into place.
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jihyo takes a deep breath as she places her midterm on the table at the front of the lecture hall. her mind briefly wanders to TW012, wonders if they’ve already finished or if they’re still in the crowd of stressed students rushing to get the last of their answers down before the time is up. for once, however, the thought doesn’t plague her mind for more than a fleeting moment.
she walks out of the doors and she’s wrapped in a hug almost immediately and then there’s a loud squeal and jihyo hugs back almost on instinct when she realizes who it is.
“we did it!” sana says and the light in her eyes is dancing to a rhythm that jihyo wants to memorize by heart. her fingers fit between jihyo’s like they were made to intertwine and jihyo wonders if sana can feel her pulse beating through her fingertips. sana squeezes her hand and jihyo decides she wouldn’t mind if she could.
“coffee? on me,” jihyo finds herself asking. sana looks at her with an expression that warns jihyo of impending teases and all the younger girl can do is wait for sana to answer because something in the way sana speaks makes jihyo feels like she’s on the verge of something, like she needs to hang onto every word because every word is as important as the last.
“that almost sounds like a date,” sana giggles. it’s carefree and easy and jihyo’s insides are filled with butterflies from the moment it reaches her ears. she looks down at the way their hands are joined, the way sana holds her hand as if she’s about to take her on the journey of a lifetime. it makes jihyo feel bold and brave, so she takes a step closer and nods.
“it is.” a beat of silence. “if you want it to be.”
sana’s mouth is left open, just a little bit, and if jihyo weren’t so nervous she’d tease the older girl for being stunned into silence, because that is a very rare occurrence for minatozaki sana. but she is nervous, and her palms feel clammy, and she wants to pull the words back in and call it all a joke, but then sana pulls her even closer and laughs in a way that matches the music in jihyo’s heart and everything feels okay.
“i thought you’d never ask.”
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“you nervous?” jihyo hears from next to her. she looks to her side and sees sana watching her with a fondness in her gaze that jihyo has still not gotten used to. then she looks down and sees their joined hands and shrugs.
“not really.”
their midterms have been marked and the grades have been posted but jihyo can’t find it in her to be nervous when she has sana by her side. she can’t dwell on a grade or a one-sided competition when sana is looking at her like she holds the key to the universe in her eyes, not when sana squeezes her hand like everything’s going to be okay, and definitely not when sana’s telling her she’s a genius like it’s a fact that’s written in stone.
“good,” sana says and it sounds like she’s more worried about jihyo being worried than she is about her own grade. it makes jihyo’s heart skip a beat. she thinks this girl must have angel wings hidden under her coat.
it’s their turn to look at the grades on the wall and jihyo takes a deep breath as she finds the column for TW021, slides her finger down the line and sees she got a 95%. she feels like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders because no matter how much she studies, no matter how well she knows the material, there will always be an ugly voice at the back of her head telling her she isn’t good enough. but it’s different now, because sana pulls her into an overexcited side hug and tells her how proud she is and she feels like it’s more than enough.
then, she watches as sana’s finger traces over the paper until she finds her student number, and jihyo can’t help the laugh that leaves her lips because damn, the universe works in a very mysterious way.
she watches sana, sees how her eyes brighten and her grin stretches across her face as she takes in the 97% on the page, and jihyo feels nothing but pure adoration.
“you’re TW012?” she asks incredulously, but the smile on her face is hurting her cheeks and she thinks that the light in her eyes could rival sana’s.
“yes? why?” sana tilts her head and it reminds jihyo so much of a puppy that all she can do is shake her head fondly and pull sana closer by her hand.
“nothing,” she sighs as they exit the lecture hall. “coffee? on me.”
“how about...” sana trails off. there’s a sly smile on her face and it makes jihyo’s heart skip a beat. “if i get there first you have to let me pay!” and then sana’s off into the crowd before jihyo can even register her words. she runs after sana even though she knows she’ll lose but there’s something in the carefree way sana’s laugh carries through the body of students and to jihyo’s ears, like it was a sound meant for her only. it makes her run until she almost collides with the older girl outside of the coffee shop and then they’re giggling too much to speak and she feels happy.
“beat you,” sana says with a cheeky grin.
“yeah, you did.” and jihyo can’t help it when she leans up to kiss her.
(“you have to be joking,” nayeon says with an obnoxious cackle. “sana is the person that’s been ruining your life for half a semester?” jihyo blushes a deep shade of red and sips on her coffee to hide it.
she feels sana squeeze her hand before a kiss is pressed to her cheek and then sana is giggling into her ear and saying, “i can give you private tutoring lessons, if you want,” and jihyo thinks she might die on the spot. but she’s surrounded by her friends, and everyone is laughing, and she feels like everything is okay.)