Work Text:
“Miss Shaw, would you like to join me at Mr. Reese’s Christmas dinner this year?” asked Harold, looking slightly apprehensive over his tea.
“We’re celebrating Christmas? Together? Don’t you think it’s a little weird for me to be there?” Shaw would have pursed her lips in disbelief if she could manage it over a mouthful of donut, but she settled for raising her voice over two octaves.
“I’m not sure why it would be weird for you to attend, since, like Mr. Reese, you are my employee; and my understanding is that this is a “work party” so to speak.” “If you’re sure, then I’ll be there”, Shaw said blankly. “Yes, I’m sure. The party is at 7 p.m. next week’s Thursday. You don’t have to bring anything.”. Harold replied, a little annoyed and mystified because he had no idea why it would be weird for Shaw to join their party, or, rather, John’s party. It was, after all, just a work party where coworkers share food and drinks and work stories, full of professional courtesy and friendliness, really. Nothing personal. Just like John said.
Harold had been delighted when John had asked him to spend Christmas Eve together over dinner. He had found it incredibly difficult to keep the smile off his face when he pictured the two of them sharing some excellent wine and bickering about the choice of Christmas movies. So he had tried to be taciturn and abrupt when he gave his acceptance of the other’s invitation.But then, John, Mr. Reese had said, had insisted rather painstakingly that it was just a work party for coworkers. So, Harold had decided to invite miss Shaw “Why shouldn’t she be included, since there won’t be anything personal or remotely intimate about this party?”, he thought with some disappoinment and a hint of bitterness.
John and Sameen were freezing their asses off the next day in a stolen car doing surveillance for a number when she turned off the comm link with Harold and asked John in her usual monotone “ What’s with the Christmas party? I thought we didn’t celebrate anything, ever?”
John blanked, but then, asked her, after a minute “Harold invited you?”. He sighned at her nod.
“ Damn, I wasn’t supposed to be invited, was I?” Shaw really did not ask for all this crap. She was paid an exceedingly large amount of money to hurt some exceedingly unsavory people, but she doubted she was paid enough for being an unintentional third wheel, cushioning the burgeoning crush of her coworker for her oblivious boss.
“ You know, I could always disinvite myself and leave you two alone…” “No, Harold invited you. He wants you to be there. Maybe it’s better this way.” John cut her off, his voice quiet and full of self-pity. Sameen couldn’t help rolling her eyes at that but she grunted her assent to attend the increasingly awkward party.
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Two weeks later, Christmas Eve
The only things Shaw brought to Reese’s apartment were three Christmas crackers, the kind that popped and had some silly jokes and toys, that reminded her of one of her good missions in Scotland, and a gigantic chew toy for Bear. Harold said to bring nothing, so he would get nothing, she figured.
After she had shed her coat at the door, she ventured into the kitchen to find both men talking quietly but animatedly about something called ‘How the Grinch stole Christmas’. It was as if Shaw had been the needle, and the easy, flirty atmosphere between those two had been a fragile balloon, that the moment she entered the kitchen, it popped and John became guarded and silent and Harold’s face started to look flustered.
Sameen Shaw had next to zero social skills but even she knew that she wanted to get out of this whole situation as soon as possible. So she asked “ Are we ready to eat? I’m starving.”
John asked Harold if he wouldn’t mind setting the table while he dished up the turkey and five other side dishes. Shaw siddled closer to John and silently berating him “Just tell him, for god’s sake. Tell him that you don’t want me here because it’s a date and I’m a worse third wheel than Bear!”
“I can’t. He wants you here. And it’s not a date.” John replied furtively, then pushed her gently out of the way to take the turkey out of the oven. “Let’s just eat and you can go home”.
Shaw raised both her hands in angry defeat and marched out towards the dining table. As frustrated with these two clueless dorks as she was, Shaw must admit the food was really good and she tucked in with gusto. She only realized the awkward silence surrounding her when the second turkey leg was on its way to her mouth. She looked between John, her closest acquaintance – she wasn’t sure if they were friends, and Harold, her boss and one of the very few people she cared about. Harold looked wooden, John looked miserable and both of them radiated so much longing it soured her healthy appetie. Sameen Shaw couldn’t take anymore of this. She threw her napkin on the table, stood up, went into the kitchen and took back three food containers with her. She put her half-eaten turkey leg in one food box, some sides in another and filled the third one with half of John’s mud pie. Then, she looked at the two men, now stunned into silence at her swift action, and pointed at John “This one didn’t want me here, Harold. He meant for this dinner to be a date between you two. So if you didn’t feel the same, please tell him now. ‘Cuz I can’t share food with all this mopiness any longer.” She half wanted to take a step back from John when she saw he was holding a butter knife tightly. John was lethal empty-handed. She didn’t want to go to the hospital on the busiest night of the year for at the ER. “Now, if you both excuse me, I’m going to enjoy my dinner in peace, by myself. I don’t share my food, especially with pining teenagers.”. With that, Shaw made her exit as quickly as physically possible.
It felt like it had been a thousand years. It felt like John’s life was already over with how mortified he was feeling. But in truth, it had been only a minute since Shaw had casually dropped the emotional equivalent of an atomic bomb on the dining table with her revelation about his feeling. John didn’t know what to do, he didn’t even know where to rest his eyes. He wasn’t afraid of a lot in life, but right at that moment, he didn’t dare look Harold in the eyes, fearing what he would see there.
“ Was it true, John, what miss Shaw said?” Harold asked tightly but his voice was clear. He was resolute to have this conversation.
John sighed, he felt tired and forlorn all of a sudden. With his eyes pasted to his shoes he said “Yes, Finch…Harold, I have feelings for you.” John confessed with resignation and apology in his voice. “It doesn’t mean anything. Nothing has to change, I assure you.” John was fast entering panic mode then. What if Harold was repulsed by this? What if he wanted to fire John for getting himself grossly compromised? What if he left John alone and disappear for good?
“Please, don’t fire me. I’ll keep it under control, I promise.” He wanted to beg Harold not to abandon him, and he would have if Finch hadn’t cut him off.
In his panic, John didn’t realize Harold had moved out of his seat and stood beside him. His warm, graceful fingers got hold of John’s chin and lifted it up gently. John found it difficult to meet his eyes, and yet, the kind gentleness in them captured him in a breathless heartbeat. He couldn’t look away, or seem to be able to breathe.
“Mr. Reese, ..John, promise me this instead. If you’ll have me, please don’t ever let me go.” Harold’s eyes were shining with tears, and he had never looked more vulnerable or scared to John.
John stood up to face Harold. He moved slowly but surely until they were almost nose to nose, and before their very first of many kisses to come, he said quietly “ I promise”.
New Year’s Eve
“ Harold, I’m still not sure if it’s a good idea to invite Shaw. She branded this another ‘disastrous party’ of ours.” John muttered beside Harold in front of a steaming kitchen counter, where no fewer than a dozen side dishes were laid neatly.
“ We have to make it up to her, Mr. Reese. It was rather churlish of us to ruin her Christmas. We may even have to thank her, for, well, us.”. Harold replied placatingly.
“ Maybe, but she will leave immediately after dinner. I want to spend our first New Year’s Eve together privately.” The twinkle in John’s eyes when he said that touched a cord inside Harold. And he had tried, he really had, to not become one of those mushy people, but the words were out before he realized he didn’t want to keep them inside at all “I love you, Mr. Reese.”
He was rewarded with a searing kiss until a loud bang separated them. Sameen Shaw was standing in front of them, looking annoyed as all hell. “This is why I don’t share food.” She said indignantly. But she decided to stay for dinner without much coaxing and proceeded to devour the majority of their food.
It wasn’t as bad as the last time. The food was still good and Finch and Reese were positively glowing with happiness. She suspected that it was the result of her handy work and decided to steal Bear for tonight as her own reward.