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Tonight is about goodbyes.
The last race of 2020 - his last with McLaren – just finished.
His head should be filled with gratitude, with memories of all the people he got to meet and work with during those two years. The people back at the factory, his engineers, mechanics and assistants. Will, Charlotte, Giuseppe, Henrik, Andreas, Tom; there's simply too many names to list off.
He should go talk to them, thanks them for the warm welcome they gave him, for the continuous support they offered him.
He definitely should.
Yet, there's only one single person who occupies his mind as he rushes down the halls of McLaren's motorhome. A person he first learned to call a teammate, then a genuine friend over the span of his first few months in this team. And eventually, this friend became more than just that.
And there's something he has to say to him, something he's refrained from speaking out for so long and that he promised himself to not let go unsaid before he left McLaren.
So, his eyes scan every corner of the motorhome in search of Lando, his heart beating painfully loud against his ribcage and his breath quickening with each steps he takes.
The thing is, he should have had this discussion with his teammate for months already. It's so glaringly obvious that the feelings he harbours for Lando are mutual to at least some extent. The clues are in almost everything he does : the way Lando still sometime blushes intensely when their gaze crossed, how he continuously prefers to seek Carlos's warmth instead of dressing properly during winter, how they always gravitate around another...Most importantly, it was the way Lando's eyes always seemed to shine brighter when he was in his presence that first clued Carlos . So, he's not afraid of a potential rejection, not really.
But if understanding that was easy, almost innate for Carlos, putting words on this thing between them...Well, for so long Carlos tried to rehearse the words he would use then, but never once was he left satisfied by what he imagined.
And now, the clock is ticking. So, ready or not he has to do it now.
In a way, the colours of McLaren are already washing out on him and Carlos knows he's ran out of excuses to delay this one conversation with Lando.
With a growing sense of urgency, he finally reaches the last possible place where his teammate can be and he knocks loudly on his resting room. Inside, he can distinguish the presence of someone and he feels a rush of almost electric anticipation running amok in his mind.
«Lando ? Can I enter ?» he asks, in a hesitant voice.
From the other side of the room, he hears an indistinctive muffled voice.
«What ?» he wonders outloud as he slowly pushes the door open.
«I said ''Why do you even bother to ask, you're gonna enter anyway?''» Lando tells him in a strangely tense voice, his back turned to him as he seems busy packing his belongings.
«Hey now, it's my last day in the team, be nice with me.» Carlos admonishes sternly, but the playful glint in in eyes must betray him – like always with his teammate – . Lando only chuckles shortly but still avoid his gaze.
Carlos watches him quizzically moving clothes to his bag slowly, his shoulders sagged uncharacteristically. He can't help but feel disappointed, he was expecting Lando to be even more adorably clingy than usual around him on their last evening as teammates, but instead he seems distant, cold even.
«Why are you packing now, Lando ? This was our last race together, we should celebrate it, right ?» he proposes softly.
That seemed to be the wrong thing to ask because Lando abruptly freezes himself while he was in the middle of folding one of his shirt.
«Lando ? You sure you're alright?»
Walking the few meters that separate them and closing the door behind him, Carlos gently lays a hand on his teammate, concerns alerting his every sense that the younger man is clearly facing some inner turmoil.
When he finally turns toward him, Lando's eyes are still downcast. Carlos's left hand ever so carefully touches his chin and lifts his teammate's head so they gaze can finally meet. It's something he learned very early on their comradeship : Lando may be surprisingly discreet about whatever trouble he faces, but those beautiful, golden tilted irises that he learned to lose himself for months always tell everything that there is to know. This time, Lando's eyes are red-rimmed, a veil of sadness draped over them. Worries immediately fills him, especially when his teammate's discomfort becomes even more evident when he offers him a strained smile.
«Lando, were you crying ?»
His teammate shrugs in answer, his hands wringing together in a nervous display.
For a worrying moment, Lando doesn't speak a single word and the only thing Carlos can do is to let his hand caress soothingly his teammate's jaw. A new kind of apprehension seizes him, any plan to confess to Lando now long forgotten.
«It's not fair...»
«What is ?» Carlos pushes encouragingly.
«I counted it. Normally this season should have lasted ten months and because of covid we only got six...»
As Carlos hears the shaky voice of his teammate, he feels a pang in his heart instantly and his entire body tenses at the thought of how long Lando must have been hiding his disarray inside the four walls of his resting room.
This is maybe the side of Lando he's the less comfortable with. He can deal with his teammate frustrated, overexcited, angry, euphoric but this one of version of him, he has only rarely seen it and every time he feels helpless in alleviating Lando's burden.
«Hey, it's alright. The season has to end at some point. Everyone need to rest, even you.» he says as warmly as he can to console him while gently stroking his teammate's shoulder.
«No, no you it's not about that.»Lando says before sniffing, sounding worryingly close to crying again «It's just...I wanted more time with you, one last season as teammate and now it's already over. It just su-» he tries to finish but his last words are knocked out of him when Carlos enwraps him in a tight hug.
An awful chill invade his chest at the thought of being responsible for the state of his teammate. For a fraction of seconds and not for the first time, he imagines the what-ifs of his life, had Ferrari never called him during the winter. What he sees in his mind is tempting, another year alongside Lando in McLaren seems like an enticing idea especially if it could erase how upset his teammate is at the moment. But in this present world, the one where he holds his teammate in his arms, he knows that turning down Ferrari was never an option anyway and that he shouldn't lose himself in fantasies like this one.
«Me too, I wanted more time with you. But I'll just be down the pit lane, a few garages next to McLaren's, you know ?» he says before closing his eyes to revel in the familiar perfume of his friend.
«I know it's stupid, I know we'll still see each other next year, but it feels like it's the end of something...» he hears Lando whispers quietly, sounding almost uneasy at voicing those thoughts as if Carlos could ever judge him, as if he didn't share the exact same thoughts.
They'll still meet each other at every race next year, they'll maybe go on golfing trips if they can synchronize their schedule in between races. Yet, they won't be able to live in each other's pocket, nor will they work toward the same goal anymore. No, they'll actively work against one another as rivals and that thought leaves a sour taste in Carlos's mouth.
They need to makes those two years end in a bang, Carlos muses resolutely as he extirpates himself of Lando's hold. They own it to themselves and all the memories they've created.
So, Carlos takes one of Lando's hand to demand his attention. His teammate looks at him, expecting him to probably propose to watch a silly movie or anything else to diffuse the heavy atmosphere reigning in the room. Instead, Carlos remains mute and his eyes roams slowly across Lando's face. He takes in every detail of his teammate's face ; The two small moles on his face, the adorable roundness of his cheeks, the corner of his lips that are usually turned upward in a smile that illuminates Lando's entire face.
Is it normal to be this fond of another human being ? Carlos ponders as his thumb starts grazing the palm of the younger man's hand.
It's almost ironic. Now that he has no other choice but to speak, Carlos's brain doesn't collaborate.
So, before he lets his very last opportunity pass, he moves instead. He softly cups both Lando's cheeks and loses himself in the same warm golden eyes that have inhabited his thoughts for too many months. Slowly, his entire body leans in closer and closer to Lando.
«Can I ?» he finally manages to say in a whisper, as if he spoke to loudly his teammate could run away from him.
A glint of incomprehension runs across Lando's expression at his question.
«Kiss you.» Carlos ends up completing his question. «Can I do that ?».
Underneath his hands, he swears he can feel how Lando's pulse suddenly spike up.
Before he has time to react, his teammate's entire body weight crashes on him and soft lips are on his. Frozen for a moment, not having expected such a spontaneous reaction from Lando, Carlos feasts on the onslaught of sensations that grows inside him. Lando's hands wanders across his back and soon enough, his own legs hit the sofa behind him and makes him fall down. His younger teammate follows him and delightfully manages to end up on his lap.
He has barely the time to recover the oxygen that was knocked out of his lungs when his back hit the sofa that Lando's mouth is back to assail him delightfully.
His tights feel on fire with the weight of his teammate on him, a delicious warmth spreading through them that soon reaches his chest. Behind every move of Lando, he's glad to recognize the same sense of urgency that was behind his steps as he was looking for him just a few minutes ago. In response, his own hands become more pressing, especially when Lando's lips finally part themselves enough for Carlos's tongue to explore the inside of his mouth.
For a while, their dance against one another is the only thing that occupies their mind. They learn to respond to the other's body, exploring the mouth of the other's relentlessly and memorizing the sound they make in unison.
It's only when they both have no other choice but to pull apart for a few second before one of them runs out of air to breath that Lando asks curiously :
«What brought this on ? I mean, I'm not complaining, but -» he cuts himself, breathless and endearingly red all over his face, even to the tip of his ears. And Carlos has to muster all his self-control to not just coo outloud at the sight. It must be the lack of oxygen messing with his brain, he muses. That, or the way Lando's is resting most of his weight dangerously close to Carlos's middle and how it messes with his brain to be underneath him, at his mercy.
Then, he remembers his teammate is waiting on his answer patiently. «Uh-Wanted to do it for so long and I- I thought this was the last moment possible before the end of the year.» he confesses, before he lifts his back up from the sofa, carefully as to not make Lando loses equilibrium on his lap. Once their chest are touching and Carlos feels less on the verge of losing his sanity in his position, he starts leaving little trails of kisses on Lando's neck.
«Wait, does that mean that you say goodbye to all of your teammate like that ?» his teammate wonders outloud, a mischievous smile on his face that Carlos can guess just by the sound of his voice.
«Maybe I do. Did you like it ? It's a special spanish tradition !» he teases Lando back just as one of his hand sneaks under his teammate's t-shirt.
The gasp that escape Lando sends thrills down his spine and for a moment they just make out, this time less urgently than before but to Carlos he experiences each touch just as intensely as before.
His left hand, after getting more than well-accustomed to Lando's chest, decides to descend lower and lower ever so slowly. Against his abdomen, Carlos feels how hard Lando has become and his head feel woozy with the thought of how wound up he can make his teammate become.
Unable the stop himself, he applies a teasing pressure on his erection, making Lando jolts in his lap and swears outloud.
Interesting , Carlos notes, feelings like a researcher studying a rare specimen in front of him. Lando is probably one, he realizes while he revels in the way Lando tenses underneath him, obviously on edge. He just can't help but do anything for the blissed out expression on Lando's face to remain there. Anything, to push at bay the expression he wore a few times ago.
Suddenly, loud nearby steps are heard outside of the resting room. They both startle at the sound and stop any movement.
Fortunately, whoever is outside seems to walk rapidly past the room without stopping and it's not long before no noise around them but their own rushed breaths can be heard.
Their gaze cross for a few second before Lando surges back toward him and kiss him once again.
«No- wait !» Carlos says as he pulls back from Lando regretfully. «We have to find somewhere quieter, less busy.» he states but inside of him he adds : A place w here I won't miss a single sound of you, where I can be sure no one but me will hear them and where I'll get to worship you for hours on end.
Lando doesn't follow his line of thoughts and looks dubiously at him, far too content to remain on his lap for a while longer.
«Alright, let's go to my room then.» Lando finally grunts as he takes his hand to help him stand up. Slightly clueless at what to do, Carlos watches the younger man puts on his jacket and hurriedly take his belonging in his bag.
When he joins him on the room's threshold, Carlos can't help but try to rule over the mess he made of Lando's haircut, who instantly bats his hands away.
«You're going to ruin it again soon enough, there's no point !» he says, still disgruntled by the fact he had to quit his lap. A wave of heat deliciously pools in Carlos's stomach at the simple idea of how he could ruin more than just Lando's hair very soon. Impatiently, Lando takes Carlos's hand and leads him out on the way to their hotel. Carlos follows his step almost hesitantly, now that things are moving so fast. It all seems surreal, a fantasy of his that finally came to fruition and his brain is just finally catching up with the events unfolding in front of him.
On their way out, they only cross a few people, the hastiness of their steps fortunately muffled by the carpet of the Motorhome's floor.
Outside, the clouds have finally disappeared entirely from the sky to leave room for a shy sun in the sky.
Yet, Carlos doesn't notice anything of his surrounding even after complaining about the moody weather during the whole weekend. His attention is focused on the man in font of him and his hand in his. It feels like an out-of-body experience and Carlos isn't sure his heart will withstand whatever will happen once they reach the privacy of Lando's hotel room. But he can't wait, that he knows.
And then, just as Carlos was rejoicing over the fact they went outside unnoticed, they both almost run into Max just as they were about to turn on their right.
«Lando ! Carlos ! I was looking for you ! We've been waiting on you guys for nearly 20 minutes !»
Shit , Carlos mutters under his breath. They both entirely forgot about how they were supposed to eat out with the rest of the drivers this evening.
«Uhm- We-» Lando stutters before swallowing loudly.
«Ah come on, don't tell me you've both forgotten !»
«We kind of have something else to do at the moment so-» Lando tries to say as he looks for guidance at Carlos.
«Ah come on, you know it's an end of the year tradition ! You can't miss-» Max says before his eyes notice how both Carlos and Lando are still holding hands. His gaze then goes back and forth to them as he takes in their flushed face, their dishelved hair and Carlos knows he sees right through them. His expression then suddenly lights up in incredulous understanding «Oh ! Yes, of course you're busy !» he exclaims with a conspirational smile «I'll come up with an excuse for the other guys, don't worry ! »
«I- What ?» Lando asks confused by the sudden change of tone in Max's voice.
«Alright, thanks !See you, Max !» Carlos cuts short their discussion, eager to escape Max's gaze and to stop losing more of the few hours he's got left alongside his teammate.
Now, he's the one who is grabbing Lando by the hand to hurriedly lead him to the hotel. Just as they are about to disappear behind a truck, they hear Max distantly whistling at them «Go get him Lando, you tiger !»
Behind him, Lando is flushed to the tip of his ear now and if Carlos wasn't so worried someone would catch them, he would stop right there and kiss him for how adorably flustered he is.
Finally, after five more minutes, they both see the imposing marble facade of their hotel and in one second it seems they arrive in front of Lando's hotel room.
Lando enters first after fumbling with his pass and just as he's about to follow him, a member of his staff stops him from doing so, telling him all sorts of details about their flight back on the following day that Carlos couldn't care less about.
He's got more urgent matter to intend to at the moment, namely a lovely teammate who is waiting for him behind the door. And if Carlos vexes the poor guy by cuttings short their discussion and practically closing the door on his face, well he'll figure out an excuse later.
When the noise of the outside tunes out once the door behind him finally closes, he turns himself, his body instinctively eager to feel once again the comforting weight of his teammate on his lap. Lando's attention isn't immediately on him like he wanted unfortunately, his back is turned on him while he searches for something in his mini-fridge.
And what now ?
Did he break the spell they seemed to be both under by insisting they had to move somewhere quieter ? Is Lando not in the mood anymore for something more than just their usual movie-night ?
Not knowing what to do with himself, what steps to take next, Carlos observes Lando as he triumphally pulls out a piece of cake from the fridge and climb on the top of the hotel room's desk to eat it.
«You want a bit ? I saved another piece in the fridge for you if you want !» his teammate says as he looks at him with a small encouraging smile while he bites enthusiastically in the cake.
Of course he did , Carlos muses. It's always been their ritual after the race, whether it ended well or not for either of them. Sweets, a movie and a sofa to fall asleep against one another was all they ever needed to relax after a Grand-Prix.
So, as he politely decline Lando's offer for a bite, he sits next to him, his right side touching Lando's while he listens to his teammate recalling fondly their two years in the same team.
He's not really listening though. There's a part of him that still yearn to just seize Lando by the shoulder and to not let him speak ; Not until he's put words on all the fondness, all the love he accumulated for him over the past two years.
Yet, the more he thinks about it the more the idea of just settling for one last movie-night as teammate doesn't seem so bad after all. One last evening to be by his side, to bicker for 30 minutes about which movie they'll settle for, one last evening to listen to the soft sound of Lando's voice just centimetres next to him even when they have all the place to stand further apart.
Besides, Lando looks absolutely stunning just next to him as the last warm red sunrays of the day project a golden light on his entire being. His curls, his skin, every part of Lando shines with a tint of honey.
Yes, that's definitively it , that's how he wants to remember his last moment as a member of McLaren, Carlos realizes.
«Are you even listening to half of what I'm saying ?» Lando whines after a while, feeling the weight of Carlos's gaze on him. When he turns his head toward him, they find themselves awfully close and the tension that was there before, returns.
A pleasant sensation coils in his stomach as he feels Lando leans on him slowly and this time, Carlos is the first to capture his mouth into his. On Lando's lips, he tastes the sugar of the cake his teammate just finished and for a moment he feels swept by the irrational desire to eat his teammate entirely : every part of him, from the inside of his tights to his shoulder blades.
Yet, as pleasant as it is to indulge in this fantasy, their angle is awkward and in a swift movement, Carlos gets back on his feet to slot himself in between Lando's two legs. Still perched on the desk, Lando happily pushes their bodies together by draping both his arms around Carlos's shoulders.
This time, unlike before in their resting room, they make out less frantically, a new need to savour, to enjoy each other dominates everything else. With both Lando's knees on his sides, he finds himself fitting perfectly in between them and he contentedly chases Lando's tongue as he listens carefully to the pleased breathless whimpers that escape his teammate's mouth.
Rapidly through, he feels his hands burn with the desire of more .
More skin to touch, to taste, to latch on. More of this lithe body moving against his and that fits so well into his hand.
More of Lando.
And so, he finds himself playing with the belt of his teammate's trousers, fingers sneakingly exploring the skin underneath. Against him, Lando's breathing builds up rapidly. His teammate is resting in his arms at his mercy and it takes all of Carlos's humility to not lose himself in the raw power he feels in this moment.
When he finally undoes the belt and looks directly at him, he's met with red lips, plump with bloods after being bitten on by Carlos and pupils obscured by a hunger he only knows himself too well.
Without leaving his focus from Lando's eyes, he slowly pulls down his trousers, lifting his hips up from the desk temporarily.
Yet, as soon as his eyes finally focus down on his hips, the intenseness of his actions is cut short by an irrepressible wave of fondness when he discovers the boxers Lando is wearing. Cute strawberries adorn the blue tissue of his underwear and by god Carlos swears his heart cannot grow bigger than it has.
«What ? I like them...» Lando blushes even more than before, squirming underneath Carlos's stare and interpreting his reaction as mocking.
«No, no I like them too, they're so very you .» Carlos explains, as he lets one of his hands roams up and down the now naked tights of his teammate in a recomforting gesture. The reaction is instantaneous and little shivers become visible on Lando's skin, who quickly forgets his embarrassment.
«Very me ?»
«Yeah. Cute.» Luminous, endearing, delightful are a few of the other adjectives he keeps for himself. Seemingly surprised by his answer, Lando doesn't move. Carlos takes advantage of this moment to reach Lando's neck and bites ever so soflty on a patch of skin he always found particularly appetizing before. And when he somehow manages to get rid of Lando's t-shirt as well, leaving only his boxers on, Carlos takes a moment to admire how even Lando's chest has grown red. Another wave of pride swells in his chest when Carlos realizes that he did that, that his teammate is so high-strung because of him .
His left hand finds his way to Lando's naked chest, who visibly shivers underneath his attention but yet doesn't move a single centimetres. As he traces sinuous lines over Lando's chest, his fingers feels incredibly heavy with how this gesture feels intimate. Soon enough, his lips find themselves on the skin of his teammate's abdomen too and the whines that escapes Lando's mouth make him delirious with desire to go explore every other parcels of his skin.
«He-y what are we doing ?» Lando shakily exhales as Carlos's kisses go lower and lower.
«Whatever you want us to do ?» he answers, before stopping as he looks up to study Lando's expression, unable to read it properly «Or we can just watch a movie, if you don't want to do anything ?»
«No, no !» Lando rushes « It's not that, it's just...I haven't really done much, you know ?»
«With boys, you mean ?» Carlos tries to clarify before one of his hand strokes Lando's left cheek gently to chase any trouble away from his teammate's face.
«With both...» Lando answers timidly before closing momentarily his eyes and leaning his face on Carlos's hand «I mean I've done a bit, but you shouldn't expect much...» an insecure expression appears on Lando's face and Carlos feels his heart twists tightly at the sight.
«We'll do whatever you're comfortable with, okay ? And I'll be more than happy with that.» he assures him, looking directly in his eyes « You stop me as soon as I go too fast, alright ?»
Lando only nods in answer, a timid yet appeased smile on his face before he leans forward to cup Carlos's face and kiss him gratefully.
In a matter of a second, his entire body sinks into the kiss. He follows mindlessly Lando's rhythm, more than happy to notice how his teammate quickly regains his confidence and begins to be more urging, more worked up against him.
For a brief moment though, his mind is taken away from the enticing warmth he finds on Lando's skin. Apprehension washes over him : he's really not ready to let their time together come to an end and to wake up from this dream tomorrow. He should have done what he's doing by the very first day he met Lando. He should have listened to the impulse he felt in his body as soon as he first felt it. .
Instead he's there, trying to make up for countless months lost in a matter of a single evening.
« Ow ! » Lando complains as Carlos accidentally pushes him forward the wall behind the desk in his distraction.
« Sorry ! Let's go somewhere more comfortable. » he says, lifting Lando by the hips and carrying him as carefully as he can before laying him in the middle of the bed.
«Fuck that was so hot »Lando whines while he touches his hardened cock through the tissue of his underwear.
« What ?»
« You carried me like I weighted nothing.»
«Well, you kind of do.» Carlos answers with a playful smirk.
«Shut u-» Lando's protest dies down on his lips when he feels one of Carlos's hand sneaks under his boxers in an almost unbearable slowness.
For a while, Carlos can't help but play a bit with how pliant and so, so responsive his teammate is with every brush of his fingers over his erection. He observes fascinated how all of the noises Lando was making suddenly cease as if his teammate is holding his breath, waiting and waiting for a touch Carlos could very well never allow him.
And ever so slowly, he wraps his fingers around the base of Lando's penis, discovering its girth and weight before he starts twisting his hand up and down experimentally.
He has to summon all of his self-control when he watches enthralled as his teammate grows more and more agitated underneath him, almost writhing in the bed in synchronisation with each movement of his hand. Lando's mouth opens in silent grunts and it doesn't take long for him to become demanding through the meaningful and almost distressed glances he throws at Carlos. Through them, he's begging him to go faster, to calm the fire raging inside him. If it was anyone else, Carlos would revels in imposing his rhythm on his partner.
But Lando isn't just anybody.
He's the single source of his desire since one year if not more, he's too gentle and trusting, too malleable under his hands for Carlos to be as cruel as to not give him what he wants immediately.
Besides, the glint of his eyes he sees as their gaze cross seems so reverent, so imploring that Carlos knows he is only there to please and serve Lando tonight.
As he pursues his teammates release with teasing touches that grows less precise and more frantic, his own insides burn him entirely and it seems he chases his own deliverance as he holds Lando tightly against him.
«I'm- I'm close !» Lando gasps as he finally finds the use of his words once again.
«Then come.» Carlos whispers imploringly as he kisses the skin over Lando's left shoulder «-and let me watch you.» he adds when Lando's hips bucks into Carlos's fist. Against him, he can feel how wound up Lando is, his skin burning hot and shining with sweats, every muscle tensed.
And he's never looked more beautiful than now, Carlos muses as he watches fascinated the way his teammate's body is seized entirely by his orgasm. His own release catches him by surprise seconds after. He may have put his needs at the back on his mind while he was entirely focused on Lando's, but the dizzying electricity that knocks his breath out of his body is felt more intensely than he ever experienced before.
He almost wishes he could have stopped himself from coming, just to make this dream last a little longer, even if it's to add just five more seconds to it. But his body has a mind of his own and he surrenders himself to the ecstasy that washes over him.
Against him, Lando rests like a dead weight on him while both their chest rise and fall at the same time. His curls tickle the tips of his nose and Carlos feels on a cloud when he realizes the moment he shared with Lando, how special and unique it was.
It's more than he remembers ever asking, more than what he thought he could dream to live when he first imagined acting on his feelings all those months ago.
For a while, Carlos is content to just exist as his teammate's personal pillow while they both catch their breath. Inside him though, too many emotions overwhelm him. He still hasn't spoken the words he first wanted to tell Lando and he feels lost as he wonders if he will ever find them.
To distract himself from the wave of emotions that threaten to hit him, he slowly rises his head to the left to catch sight of the hour on the alarm set on the bedtable.
In cold white, the numbers 23:56 shine through the dark of the room.
«Four minutes and we won't be teammate anymore...» he whispers outloud, a wave of nostalgia hitting him instantly as the realisation dawn on him. His hold of Lando becomes increasingly tighter and for a moment he screws shut his eyes, trying to erase the sight of those numbers from his memory. He bided his farewell to his teammate in the best possible way he could even think of and yet, his heart feels heavy with regrets, with the time they lost as they danced around another. He can only imagine how good their two years as teammates would have been had he mustered up the courage to act on his feelings earlier.
Against him, he feels Lando wiggle a bit, before two soft hands cup his cheeks.
Stubbornly, his eyes remain closed for a few more seconds to imprint the feel of Lando's against his skin.
When he opens his eyes, Lando is facing him, a veil of troubles dimming his eyes.
« But we could become something else instead ?» Lando asks him shakily, before growing scarlet red and visibly recoiling « I mean-...No, forget it that sounded stupid...»
«No, please what do you mean by that ?»
Lando hesitates for a moment before speaking «I mean, we won't be teammate anymore, but I could still be someone to you ? If you want ?»
«Someone» ? What does Lando means by «someone» ? Carlos wonders, unable to believe the implication he perceives behind this question.
It's Lando's eyes that gives him his answers before his teammate even has the time to answer him. His irises burn with a fire and a glint of unrestrained hope so similar to what his own eyes probably reflect in this moment.
Can they carry on together, even through different teams, even as rivals ? Can this last evening mark a new beginning for them ? Can this night be the first of many ? Carlos reads all of those questions in Lando's eyes and he wants to answer with thousands of words instantly pours all over his head ; words of love, of admiration, of tenderness and a dozen of other feelings Lando planted in him. But his throat feels too tightened with emotions, so he can only muster up a few short words together :
«Yes, you could be someone that I love.» he whispers, his fingers tangling themselves in his teammate's curly hair.
Lando smiles over him in this gentle, sweet way of his and Carlos knows that he found the words that mattered the most to his newfound lover.