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The first time I used my gem, I was 5. I had just learned how to read, and I was still learning how to write properly. My mom came to my room with a small box in his hands, while I was reading a book about magic stories.
I was fascinated by the story of The Chosen One. There were a lot of words I didn’t understand very well, but I understood the part of a hero, made of pure magic, the most powerful person that had ever lived, who would defeat all the villains of the World of Mages, saving us all, and having the happily ever after they deserved.
“Penny, I’ve got something for you.” She sat on my bed, and I did stand up from the floor, leaving my book marked on the page I was reading; about a prophecy (I didn’t know what it meant).
From the moment I was conscious, I knew about the magic, that I was a magician. That was never a secret for me, and I couldn’t wait to finally be old enough to go to the School of Mages.
“What is it, mum?” My small hands tried to take the box from her, but she didn’t let me. Instead, she opened it by herself.
The ring, too big to fit on my fingers, was shining in a purple light. I felt a big smile crossing my face. I could do magic now.
“You can’t wear in on your fingers yet, but you can wear it as a necklace for now.” There was a golden chain at the bottom of the box that I didn’t see. My mom put it through the ring hole, and made me turn back, so she could put it on my neck.
It felt a little heavy, so I held it in my hands. “Cast something.” My mum whispered.
I didn’t know more than a few spells, the ones I heard them from my family, and the ones I read in books. “Up, Up and Away”
The gem glowed with a more intense purple light, and the book I left on the floor lifted unsteady for a couple seconds before falling again.
My mouth was open with surprise, my eyes wide open when I looked back at my mum. “Did it work? Did I make it work?”
She was smiling proud of me. The feeling inside me was something I couldn’t explain. “Yes, Penny, you did it.”
That was many years ago. I became very good at magic and spells, almost as powerful as my mom. But never as powerful as Simon, instead, I had the control he didn’t. We’ve always been a good duo, while he throws punches and waves his sword, I cast the right spells, the most powerful I know. Always covering each other’s backs, always there for the other.
I wish I could say I had seen his love for Baz (and Baz’ love for him) coming before, but I really didn’t. I knew there was something in the way they looked at each other, but I never knew what it was, and I don’t think they did, too. Everything came up so fast, that I had the right to be shocked as fuck when I heard Baz calling him “love”.
That’s when we became a trio. I know that the thing they have is special, and probably I’d never understand it, but what Simon and I have is special too. So many years of being friends, being unstoppable and saving each other had made us love each other even more —and not in a romantic way, as Agatha used to think. I think of him more like a brother.
And Baz, well. He’s nicer than he tries to show. Maybe the love has softened him, or maybe his mask fell off finally. Whatever it is, I’m glad he’s a part of us now.
The girl I was, used to think The Chosen would be an intimidating person, too busy saving the world to look down at the mortals. Who’d say that he’d become my best friend?
Looking back at my past, and looking at the woman I became, I can say I’ve made the best version of me. I know I should be modest, but the truth is I’m incredibly honest. There are things that can’t just be hidden, and what I think of me is one of these. Powerful, talented, smart; I remember Baz called me once “his mother’s daughter”, and I’ve never felt so proud.
It took me years to truly believe it. Yes, I was good with spells, and yes, I got out of many troubles, but Simon was always by my side. When things got too much for me to handle it with magic, he’d just go off, and everything would be alright after.
Until I had to fight, by myself; it happened one night, when I was going back from uni. Usually, I’d be back in the afternoon, but that day I had to stay in the library doing homework. It was almost ten when Simon sent me a text, asking if I was okay and if I needed Baz to come and get me; I was tipping that I was a few blocks away from home when someone grabbed me by the waist, pulling me back to a dark tunnel. The fear took over my body like a rush, making me scream for help. But nobody came for me.
The goblins tried to take away my things —the reason why, I still don’t know—, but when they felt my magic, they tried to hurt me. Probably they still had some hate towards The Mage’s allies, and I was the unlucky one they’d get their revenge on.
I threw punches and kicks to left and right, trying to hit them and run away. It worked with one, but there were still two more of them. My desperation made me forget about my magic, but when I was conscious again I cast whispered spells, ripping away the head of one of them. The last one stared at me furious, trying to get close. “Fuck off and die” as powerful to set me free, made my ring shine, throwing the goblin away, finally killing him.
In that tunnel, staring at the three corpses I had done, I felt truly powerful for the first time in my life. Unstoppable. Almost ethereal. All by my own.
I did cast “Out, out, damned spot.” The bodies disappeared instantly, and I ran away. When I got home I found Simon and Baz in the living, relieved when they saw me. My clothes were stained with goblin blood and mud, but they still hugged me. “We thought something bad happened to you” whispered both. I just smiled and hugged back.
The girl I was, used to be surprised when I realized I could do magic. But that wasn’t true.
I can’t do magic.
I am magic.