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Once upon a time, children weren't kept in padded cells

Summary:

Once, there lived a dashing prince and a handsome princess. We all know how these stories end. Shall I take up my quill and change the ending of this tale to one more realistic?

Notes:

I adore faerie tales, don't you? Stories filled with adventure, romance, talking animals, and so on. But the tales I'm familiar with may be different from the ones you know and love. I only have a problem with people changing folk tales around when they're doing it to coddle children. Let's talk about the ramifications of such actions.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Once upon a time, there lived a prince, whose bravery was unparalleled. He heard tell of a princess being held captive by a hideous monster, and set off to free the fair maiden.

The prince fought valiantly, slew the beast, and rode off into the sunset with his prize, I mean, spoil of war, forgive me, bride.

Their wedding was celebrated by both kingdoms, and they lived happily ever after.

Rather dull, wasn't it? These stories always have a lot of build up and a battle scene, but they always end in a wedding. How predictable. Still, it's a happy ending, isn't it?

Let me tell you the same story, but from the perspective of the princess. That's sure to be interesting.

Once upon a time, a young princess learned that the only thing that gave her worth were the children she would bear her future husband. She learned to play the harp so that she might please him, whomever he might be. She was taught how to dance, and sing, and embroider, all sorts of things that a lady should know.

Which would have been fine, had she cared for them, and perhaps she would have enjoyed the activities if her tutors and nannies and even her Queen-Mother weren't constantly impressing upon her that she had best pick up these talents quickly so she could please her future husband.

When she was captured, she considered it a holiday. No more dancing until her feet ached. No more pricking her fingers with needles. It was almost enjoyable. Aside from the monster that was probably going to eat her at some point. Semantics.

Then Prince Charming had to come along and she was back in her castle by nightfall.

Did her parents let her rest after what had surely been a harrowing event? Of course not! There's a wedding to plan!

So, after spending days or weeks or months afraid for her life, she was expected to choose between fabrics for a dress and cakes and seating arrangements, but never seat this Duke next to that Earl, lest they bring up old rivalries and duel each other in the gardens again.

The two of them would wear their finest clothes and dance and kiss, true love's kiss, her parents would sigh as they watched them.

And after the wedding?

The princess would, most likely, try and get along with her husband. But, given that they were wed within weeks of meeting, I can't imagine they would have had much to talk about.

The prince would have enjoyed the wealth and luxury of two joined kingdoms, as well as having a beautiful young wife. A bit too young, in my honest opinion, but, marrying ages were different back then.

Perhaps one day the princess would have sat in the garden, combing her flaxen hair, and her bow-shaped lips would begin to tremble as she realised that the throne, the crown, the title, none of it was never hers. She was simply holding them until her future husband came to take his rightful place on the throne, and wear the crown, and be called King.

This story can end only one of two ways.

Either she resigns herself to her fate and dies unhappy.

Or-

She would eventually grow tired of her husband, who would take what he wanted from her body without caring for the pain he was causing her. Maybe she would poison his wine before dinner, or slit his throat while he slept.

She could go the dramatic route, I suppose, and stage a scenario that gives him the chance to be the hero of yet another tale. She could arrange for a pretend kidnapping. Then, when her darling husband, her very own Prince Charming came to rescue her, she could drive a dagger through his gut and drag it upwards, spilling his organs out onto the stone floor.

And I think she would look him dead in the eyes, kiss his forehead, and whisper that he never really was a hero. He was just in the right place at the right time. A farmer could have saved her, or a tailor.

But in this tale, her future husband just so happened to be a prince.

She would bury him with her own two hands in an unmarked grave and taken back her kingd-No.

Her queendom. Much better.

For the princess was more than just a pretty girl who would sit and simper and blush. She knew that there was no such thing as true love's kiss.

After all, the original tale of Sleeping Beauty, or as close as we'll ever get to the original, anyway, Talia wasn't woken from her slumber by a petal-soft kiss to her lips. She was raped and impregnated and forgotten. And yet, even that story ends with a wedding. Sickening.

Notes:

A few years ago I was at a bookshop and found a copy of Grimm Faerie Tales. It had a few that weren't in my copy, so I skimmed it to make sure it was worth buying. At the ending of Snow-White, the evil queen, upon hearing that Snow-White is marrying a prince, either fell down dead out of envy, or shock that the apple hadn't killed her, I can't remember which. The point I'm trying to make is, these stories were originally meant for children, who were clearly made of stronger stock than the children of today, who need to be held close and told every princess wanted to marry her prince, because who wouldn't?

Even as a child, whenever I would hear girls in toyshops or bookshops sighing about how badly they wanted to be a princess, I wanted to grab them and shake them and scream "Those stories are for boys!". Becuase clearly, they are. The softer, modern retellings are, anyway. The prince, or soldier, or whomever, goes on a pages long adventure, and fifty words before the ending, ". . .and a princess happened to be there, so they were married." The End, Go Home.

In the book I have, which has beautiful illustrations and smells like an old book no matter how many times and places I've moved to since I got it, the stories are dark and filled with gore and murder. But the message they were trying to convey to the children of their times is clear.

Hänsel und Gretel: In times of strife, people will eat each other. Literally.

La Belle et la Bête: When presented with a beautiful man who is heartless and cruel, and an old ugly man who is wealthy and treats you well, clearly the second man is your best choice for a husband. Thumbelina is similar.

The Little Mermaid: Sometimes, the person you fall in love with is going to fall in love with someone else and damn if it isn't going to kill you inside.

I hate seeing clickbait videos and articles like, "You'll never believe the DARK, TWISTED, ORIGINS OF THIS BELOVED DISNEY CLASSIC!"

Erm, yeah, I would. Because I am the proud owner of a nearly one-hundred year old book containing some of those original stories, and I have another book with Hans Christian Anderson's work.

Walt Disney did not create those characters or those stories. Disney doesn't own them. Their version, sure, but not the characters or the stories themselves. Just like how Marvel doesn't own Norse Mythology, try as they might to claim otherwise.

I hate when I see people citing Disney films as a source for history. Namely Hades-Is-Satan and White-People-Were-Never-Racist-Again-After-Painting-With-The-Wind.

Because it is a problem that many Disney films have. You feel good at the end, then when you get to university and they say, "All right. Time to learn about the mass genocide your ancestors carried out on the native people of this land." you're fucking surprised. Didn't everyone kiss and make up?

"But they sang the song!" you protest.

"What song?"

"The song about accepting each other regardless of what colour your skin is."

"Oh, you poor, doomed child."

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