Chapter Text
phil had kissed dan three times.
once when they first met at the train station. dan smelled like spearmint gum and his lips tasted like cinnamon. his hair was damp from the rain pouring outside and his hair was slowly turning from straight to curly. dan's strong hands pressed against phil's back as they kissed; a kiss that was too short and left phil hungry for more.
the second was on valentine's day. they never mentioned the kiss they had shared at the train station and phil assumed it was just a heat of the moment kind of thing. dan surprised phil with one white and one black rose-"they represent me and you, you're the light in my life and i'm...well...dan"
"how romantic." phil chuckled lightly, brushing a piece of his long black hair out of his eyes. dan was still shorter than phil and had to stand on his tiptoes to reach him. he laced his hands around phil's neck and kissed him passionately. dan's lips tasted closer to smoke than cinnamon, but phil ignored it. he was just happy that dan was kissing him again.
the third time was two years ago, after dan admitted that he still cared for phil. "if i could just take back 2012." he murmured, his forehead pressed against phil's, his body heat causing dan to shiver. "i wish i could take back 2012."
"me too." phil whispered, connecting their lips together one last kiss. dan no longer tasted like cinnamon, all his lips tasted like was smoke. dan pulled away quickly and wiped his lips with the back of his hand.
"don't ever do that again!" he screeched, his eyes darting from phil to the ground. "that was four years ago, phil. 2012 was four years ago. it's different now. i don't love you anymore."
"but you just said..." phil trailed off, his lips still tingling from the excitement of kissing dan again.
dan shook his head and bit his bottom lip, which still tasted like vanilla, like phil. "forget what i just said. forget all of it. we have a whole phanbase now. they can never know." he growled.
phil swallowed hard, his heart breaking in his chest. "alright." he murmured in response, his voice breaking and a tear spilling from his once bright blue eyes.
dan didn't talk to phil for a whole week after that. he locked himself in his room and slept while phil was awake. he only went downstairs twice, once to grab a box of cereal and the other for him to throw a load of clothes in the laundry.
phil missed kissing dan.