Chapter Text
"Mando, do you believe in soulmates?" Soulmates are not something cherished by Mandalorian culture. To Din, soulmates are a bedtime story for children and something nice to think about instead of the empty feeling that perhaps he's destined to be alone. He never knew if his parents were soulmates, nor if anyone in his covert was.
As he grew older, it became more and more apparent that soulmates were something long forgotten with time - after all, with the brutal end of a civil war, who has time to think of love when their life is on the line?
The first person he met and felt something with wasn't his soulmate. He didn't get the big, gigantic fairytale moment everyone dreams about. He didn't learn of his past lives, he didn't suddenly feel complete, he felt more empty than ever. Every love, every crush, came with a brutal end. Every accidental touch was followed by the tense moment, waiting for something, and ending with nothing but despair.
By the time Din found the child, he gave up on soulmates. With the armour, he never had to worry about touch, and with bounty hunting, he never had to worry about staying somewhere long enough to find love. Then, unfortunately, he met you. He shouldn't say unfortunately, that's not the right word.
He met someone who made him wish soulmates existed. He met someone who made his heart feel things with nothing but a smile or the flip of their hair. He met you, and he fell harder than he'd ever fallen before. To anyone else, and to you, it was just him being normal. Din had built up enough walls to never let anyone in, which he was happy for, meaning as he fell apart around you all you saw was the cool, stoic exterior.
You were a young little thing off an ice planet who'd, for some reason, connected to the child. You weren't one of the Jedi he was looking for, but you were the closest thing to it - a force wielder, even if you were a weak one. You'd agreed to join him and help take care of the child, and Din just couldn't say no.
Every time he got injured, any time he pulled off a glove, he wished you'd graze by.
Any time he caught you when you stumbled or bumped into you, he wished he'd feel something besides the heartbreaking crush he'd formed around you. And now here you were, sat across from him in the cockpit with a smile, asking him the question that hurt him more than he ever cared to admit. "No."
"Really? Why not?" You ask as you played with the child's hand, looking up at him with a quirked eyebrow.
"Why believe in something that doesn't exist?" He responds flatly, turning back to control the ship. You sit in silence for a while, and your question nags at him. Why would you ask? Why would you care? Was it a way to pass time, or were you looking for something deeper? Slowly turning his helmet to the side, he watches you play with the child out of the corner of his eye, and he knows better than to ask questions that are just going to hurt him further. "Why?"
"Where I come from, we don't believe in soulmates." You say quietly. "Everyone just sucks it up and gets married to whomever, I just...I was just wondering if Mandalorians were different."
Modern Mandalore might care about soulmates, but to him, Mandalorian culture was about survival, weapons, and fighting. Not about love and 'eternal bonds'. "Mandalorians do not believe in soulmates. It's a childish thing, like a story to put someone to bed."
"My mom used to read me this story called 'Forever', and it was the storybook filled with the tales of a couple who kept finding themselves in their future lives. There was this one that always stuck with me, and it was about this knight and this princess who kept getting so close but never close enough to learn that were destined for each other. One day, the knight fell ill and the princess came to his aid, only to discover they were soulmates. The knight died in the princesses arms that day, and in their next life, they found each other when they were really, really little." Depressing, but Din supposes it's cute for a child. "Do you think that maybe our soulmates won't find us until we're really old?"
Our. Our soulmates. Din knows, realistically, he can't dream of something like that, but those two little words hurt him. "I don't believe in soulmates."
"Well, I do." You respond defiantly. "My knight is just taking his sweet time."
Din could reach out, right now, and touch you. He could learn within seconds if soulmates exist, or if it's just another story. But he can't, he won't, for some reason that holds him back. There's something terrifying about the lack of space between you, and Din...Din doesn't believe in soulmates. But with you, he does, and it terrifies him.
Knowing you believe too doesn't help that matter. "I suppose your knight will have to settle for an old woman."
"Did you just make a joke?" You say with a mix of a laugh and a scoff. "Maker, did you hit your head? Little one, I think Mando's sick, he made a joke!" The child gurgles in your lap and you just laugh, and Din finally sends the ship into hyperspace. He's agreed to take on a bounty, a break from hunting for the child's family, and he's almost missed it.
There's something methodical and familiar about it, from the chase to the capture. Something that satisfies the darker part in him, as much as he hates to admit it. His feet land on the hull floor with a squeak, and he turns to look down at a toy he'd crushed under his foot. The one difference between you and him caring about the child is you had the experience of being a normal kid. You bought toys, knew fun little games to pass the time, and Din knew how to hold him and calm him. He couldn't recall a funny story from his childhood or play anything other than peek-a-boo, and even that you taught him.
Din kicks the toys to the side, and his foot hovers a book. In big, bold letters, it reads 'Forever'. He bends down and picks it up, and it's just a stupid children's book. That's all it is, something to put the child to sleep, but holding it in his hands, it carries a heavier weight. It's well worn and thicker than he imagined, and he flips through a few pages. They all show the same kind of images, a couple in love at different times. One page is Jedi, another is peasants, changing species and time.
Stopping on one page, Din realizes there's something you forgot to tell him. It wasn't a knight and a princess. It was a Mandalorian and a girl, but perhaps you didn't know the difference from a knights helmet to his. Staring down at it, he's struck by how similar he looks to the knight, and how similar you look to the princess.
He's definitely reading too much into a child's story, but...this was your favourite story. About soulmates. About a Mandalorian and a girl.
Din hates to admit how it does things to his heart, but it truly does. Closing the book, he lets it drop onto a crate, and wonders just how much of those stories are fairytales and how much is true.
-
You screwed up.
You screwed up big time.
When you first met Mando, the only Mandalorians you knew of were from a storybook. You hate how that stupid fairytale influenced you so much - how it made you think that perhaps you could find a soulmate, how everyone had a true love. You were a naive child, and still somewhat of a naive adult, and when you met the child and Mando, your first thought was 'This could be it.' Your chance to escape it all, and maybe just find love.
Unfortunately, Mando was the last person to have a soulmate or want a soulmate. He was cold and stoic, and the epitome of a man who didn't need love. That didn't stop you from harbouring the worlds biggest crush on him, nor did it stop you from reading the book to the child every now and then. You'd gotten it so stuck in your head, soulmates and Mandalorians, that you just needed to know. And now your heart's been shattered in one fell swoop because Mando doesn't believe.
Why would he?
Soulmates are nothing but something comforting to help you believe in love, it's insane to think that in a galaxy this large, anyone finds their soulmates anymore. You'd pried into his life, asked him about something personal, and broke one of your rules. You never ask Mando questions, ever. He was a private person, and you respected that. The helmet, the armour, the honour, all of it, you never asked. But you'd gotten so much into your own head that you'd asked about something so personal like soulmates and now you were screwed because he probably thought you were some child who still believes in those stories.
To make matters worse, he'd seen the book. You'd told him it was a story about a knight and a princess, and in fact, it was. It was just a Mandalorian knight and princess. He'd read it! He read about your favourite story and likely thought you were a creep or a weirdo or something.
Something bad.
Sitting on the ramp, you stare out into the night's sky and wonder how long it'll take for Mando to get back from his hunt. Not long, hopefully, because the longer he's gone the longer it leaves you to stew over your thoughts and just how foolishly you'd acted. But, the longer he's gone, the longer you get to stay until he inevitably kicks you out. You were overreacting, a product of your own overthinking, but you couldn't help but picture him returning to the ship and tell you sternly to leave.
The child squirms in your lap and waves his little hand around. You smile and smooth down some of his hair, and suppose Mando might keep you around for the child's sake. After all, he's the only other force user you've ever met, and returning him to the Jedi will help you too. If the Jedi still exist, that is.
That's something you didn't want to reveal to Mando after all this time; That the Jedi were killed off, and that the only force users left behind were evil. Or children. You knew the bare history of the Jedi, and much like soulmates, so many people didn't think they exist. You want them to, for Mando's sake, but the more and more you travel with him, the more and more you doubt they do.
There's a loud bang and you watch Mando soar through the trees and slam into the ground, followed by an assailant, likely the quarry. Mando scrambles to his feet as you do, protectively ushering the child inside the Crest as Mando storms his way towards you. Your hand instinctively goes to the blaster on your hip, and the quarry advances far too quickly on Mando.
There's something wrong about the way his walks, limping and dragging his left leg along, and the quarry raises in the blaster in time for you to shout at Mando to duck. His helmet raises to look at you, and you realize your mistake far too late. A blaster bolt fires and normally, you'd know Mando would be fine.
But they hit just below his back chest plating, and you watch his body go rigid at the base of the ramp, blood instantly staining the front of his undersuit. A scream rips itself from your throat as you watch the impact, and Mando's life flashes before your eyes.
Mando is strong, you know that. But there's something wrong about the way that shot settles, something in your gut that tells you something is wrong. You remember every fight, every laugh, every moment you've shared, and it dawns on you slowly that this could be the end.
Your body works on autopilot as you raise your blaster and fire at the quarry, nailing him dead between the eyes, and you drop to your knees beside Mando's crumpled form on the ramp. You flip him over and he stares up at you, or at least you think he does. You're used to the blood, the gore, the violence.
You're used to dead bodies and Mando being hurt but this, this is different. This is the kind of wound that makes you panic, far too much blood being lost far too fast. His chest heaves hard enough you can see it, and you need it all to stop. You need the world to stop spinning, for time to halt, and give you enough time to heal him. "M-Mando, you're going to b-be alright, I promise, you have to, I just need to, you're going to be okay-"
"Is he dead?" Mando rasps out and you nod, turning to look at the quarry's body splayed beside you. You didn't even register you'd killed him until this moment, and it just shakes you more. "Good."
"I'll go grab the medkit, you-you-" You start to ramble as you stare down at his wound, and Mando's hand wraps around your elbow tight. It grounds you, and you take in a long breath as you try and rationalize what's happening. His thumb rubs gentle circles on your arm, and it hurts how he has to comfort you right now, and not the other way around.
"I need you to get the child...to his home..." Mando mutters, and you almost don't hear him at first.
The second the words settle in your brain, you feel the air punched out of your lungs. "M-Mando, you're going to be fine, alright? I'm going to get you help and you're going to live."
"Hey, hey, look at me." You slowly turn your head to look up at Mando, and for once, you can tell he's staring dead at you. "I need you to get the child to his home. This is the way."
"Screw the way, Mando, you're going to live." You try to get to your feet and Mando's hand clamps around your arm and pulls you back down as the tears start to flow. "You have to live, Mando, you have to-"
"Din." You stare up at him in confusion, and he lets his helmet thud back against the ramp. "Call me Din."
Oh.
Oh.
Reasonably, someone telling you their name shouldn't be a major event. But to Mando, no, Din, to him admitting it here, it means the world to you. You sob, curling your hand around his. "Please, you're going to be okay, you have to be."
"Take my glove off." You stare at Din for a long time, because he's never asked anything like that before. You can tell he senses your unease, and his hand tightens in yours. "I don't believe in soulmates. But you deserve to know if your knights not going to make it."
The world fades around you. Every sound, every light, every tree in the distance, disappears, and all that's left is you and Mando. You gently unfurl your hand from his and wonder why exactly the universe decided to curse you. Because deep down, you and Mando have known since the day you met that the connection between you is more than that of strangers, more than that of friends, more than that of whatever's been going on.
You know, as soon as you pull his glove off, he's you knight in beskar armour. You know as soon as his hand starts to reach out to cup your cheek that the stars have aligned to offer you some peace tonight, that they'll give you this moment to relish for the rest of your life, that your soulmate is dying beneath you and there's nothing to stop it.
The second his fingertips touch your cheek, you're taken to strange memory. One that doesn't exist, and hasn't for a long time, but remains in your brain all the same.
A boy and a girl. Playing at a beach, splashing water at each other, being children.
A lord and a lady slow dancing at a ball while the rest of the crowd watches on in awe.
Two Jedi, forbidden to love, holding each other late at night in a war field.
A knight, laid beneath his princess, taking his final breaths.
You sob quietly, and Mando's thumb wipes across your cheek. You should be happy, you found your soulmate, but all you can feel is the crushing weight of him dying below you. "I guess your story was right, cyare."
"This isn't fair, I...I..." All you want is time. You pray to any god that will listen, to any deity that might be on your side, that Mando makes it through this.
You curse whatever foul god created soulmates, who chose to let you meet yours like this and thank them for giving you what you always wanted, not caring that it's being taken away. "We'll meet again," Din whispers quietly, and the emotion in his voice makes you ache. "We're soulmates, after all."
"I thought you didn't believe in soulmates." You say with a soft laugh as you wipe your cheek.
"I believe in you." Din hisses and his hand moves from your cheek to grip your hand. All you want is time. A second, minute more to love, to know who he is.
There's no way to save him in time, there's no magic hospital or cure that can appear out of thin air, there's no miracle...
The child coos at the top of the ramp and breaks you from your sobs. Staring at his figure, you wonder if you can do what he did. Perform a miracle. Looking down at Din, it's like he can read you mind, and he quickly shakes his head. "T-The child passes out for days on end with a little cut, I'm not letting you-" A harsh cough cuts off his sentence, and you can tell he's fading. "I'm not letting you risk that."
"I'm not willing to wait another lifetime for you, Din." You gently press a hand over his stomach and close your eyes.
"Don't you dare, that's an order, I refuse-" The world fades out for a second time. This time, Din fades out with them. You're left alone with your thoughts, and the force, and you understand why it knocks the kid out to do this.
You're trading a piece of your life for his.
This might kill you. Giving Din enough life to live, to heal this wound, it could take everything you have. You're more than willing to give, but a part of you is afraid of what might be left behind. He'll have to wait, another lifetime in pain, for you to find him again. He'll have to wait, knowing you'd been within an arms reach for months, and yet never getting to know.
You'll have to wait to see who he becomes the next time you get to meet him. Opening your eyes, Mando's hand cups your cheek as the tears slowly stop falling. "Please don't do this."
"I love you." The world fades out with nothing more than a whisper.
-
I love you.
That's what you said. I love you. Din hasn't stopped replaying those three little words in his head, over and over again, waiting for you to wake up. You'd terrified him, using your force-magic-whatever like that, and when you'd collapsed on top of him, he assumed the worst. But, much like the child, you were simply passed out and had been for the past couple of days.
That doesn't stop him from worrying day and night about you, and he hadn't left you side for a moment since. He supposes it's kind of creeping, just sitting beside you as you sleep, but to him, it's the insurance that you'll wake up. You have to, at some point, or Din doesn't know how he'll go on. You look so peaceful, so still when you sleep, he has to keep reminding himself you're alive.
He slowly pulls off his gloves and gently brushes some hair away from your forehead, and studies your face. He doesn't know why exactly he's always liked you. Maybe it's his past selves forcing him to love you, but the only thing he feels when he sees you is pure, raw adoration. He wants nothing more than to kiss you and hold you and get the chance to love you, but there's a fear that holds him back.
When you wake, will you really love him, or will you feel forced because you're soulmates? Will you care that he keeps his helmet on? Will you still like him when you see his face, when you learn who he really is, or will you leave him again? He links one of your hands with his, and wonders just how rare this was.
A one in billion chance to find a soulmate, and you'd been his. All his past lives, and all his future lives, are meant to be spent with you. Every past iteration of you had been just as beautiful as you are now, and it's strange to navigate through memories that aren't truly his own.
Showing his face freely.
No armour.
No bounty-hunting.
No child.
Just a completely normal life. That's what he could have with you. He slips his hand from yours and slowly stands, leaving your side for a moment to check on the child. He'd found an old abandoned cabin nearby, and while he knew someone probably wouldn't like the fact he broke in, he needed somewhere safe to keep you that wasn't the Razor Crest. He considered it home, but it wasn't exactly the most comfortable place to for you to sleep for days on end.
Stepping out into the hall, the child sits surrounded by toys, and Din's surprised he's actually playing and not up wreaking havoc. As he approaches, the child waves his hand at something, and he stares down at your storybook on the floor. Slowly picking it up, he flips to a page and stares down at your favourite story. How ironic, he thinks, that that was almost him. He'd almost died without knowing you were his soulmate.
The child stares up expectantly at him, and Din sits slowly and flips the book back to the first page, and starts to read.
"This is the story of how I fell in love."
Your first thought when you wake is that you died. You had to, looking around some little log cabin, there's no other way for you to be here. Your second thought is why, exactly, can you hear Mando-No, Din, read. Slipping from the bed your legs shake, and you wonder how long you'd been asleep.
You gave Din a piece of you that night, and you can tell from the way your whole body aches to the sleep that still threatens to tug you under. You slowly walk into the hall, following the sound of Din's voice. Standing in the doorway, you're taken aback by the sight in front of you. Din, sat with the child, reading a storybook to him. You smile, and Din's words echo in your mind.
I don't believe in soulmates. I believe in you.
Truth be told, you didn't know how to believe it either. How was it remotely possible to be tied to someone like this? Past, present, and future all align with him, and you don't care if it's fake or not. It's real to you.
The child finally looks up and garbles at you, giving you grabby hands. Din's eyes follow and you hear the faintest gasp as he scrambles to his feet and over to you. "You're awake! You should be in bed, or...Or maybe I should get you something to eat? Do you need a shower? Do you-"
"I'm alright, really." You take a step towards him and your leg gives out and he ducks down to catch you. You laugh as he picks you up, wrapping your arms around his neck. "Okay, so maybe I'm a bit weak."
"Do you have any idea of how reckless that was? Of how worried I've been? You could've died!" You were very aware of how reckless and stupid it was. But back then, that didn't matter. What mattered was Din was dying beside you, bleeding out on some random planet, and that was the only way you could think to stop the pain.
"It worked out in the end, didn't it?" You say softly, and Din takes a long time to reply.
"But it almost wasn't." He turns and brings you to the couch, gently setting you down. "If you'd died, cyare, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself."
You smile as the child waddles up to you, and you pick him up and place him in your lap. "And if you had died, Din," You can see that his own name takes him aback. "I wouldn't have been able to live with myself either."
"Let's make a deal then." He sits down beside you, and his hand comes up to move some hair from your face. "No more dying."
"We can't make those kind of deals-" You cut yourself off and stare at your warped reflection in Din's visor. You can't make those kind of deals in Din's kind of work, in this kind of universe. But for him, you'd promise him the moon and stars. "I promise I won't die if you don't."
"I'll always make it back to you."