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Chapter Text

It had all started so innocently. Basic Chemistry. Literally, it was Chemistry 101. A simple experiment, powder, solutions, test tubes, Bunsen burner, a beaker or two. It should have been a straightforward lab class, nothing to write home about.

As Lily crouched under the desk, trying to see through the smoke that clouded the room, hoping to determine if the flames had been extinguished yet or if anyone was actually hurt, she wondered how it had all gone so wrong.

Forty-Five Minutes Earlier…

James ran into the laboratory at a breakneck speed, skidding to a stop in front of the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen in his life. He ruffled his hair nervously, aware he was 15 minutes late for the first practical lab, which was based on the lecture from the previous morning. He had no clue what today’s experiment was about, but he knew the class required 100% attendance. Given he had been on the other side of campus goofing off with his mates when the class had started, he was pretty proud of his effort.

“Your late,” the girl declared, shoving the plastic container filled with science-y stuff into his arms. James grasped it automatically, wondering if his punishment would be having to sort it all out.

“Sorry,” he managed to stutter, “Flat battery.”

“You live on campus,” the girl declared with a raised eyebrow.

“How do you know that?” James’ mouth fell open. Surely, he would have noticed someone like her in his dorm. The hair was definitely as eye catching as it was stunning. He would have seen her.

“My friend Marlene’s the RA for Gryffindor,” the girl explained. “I think she’s dating your friend, Sirius? She pointed you two out the other day.”

“Oh, yeah,” James nodded slowly. “We met the other day at the coffee cart. She’s lovely.”

“She’s a hot mess,” the girl smirked. She glanced around the room and then back at the equipment in James’ hands. “Your last, which means you’re doing the experiment by yourself. Everyone else has already partnered up. The front bench is still free, so let me know if you need any help.”

“You’re the TA?” James asked curiously. She didn’t seem any older than him.

The girl nodded, “Professor Slughorn’s given me the basic labs this semester. You attended the lecture though, right? Know what your doing?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” James didn’t tell her he’d slept through most of it.  

“Well,” she motioned to the bench behind, “Good luck then.” She turned back toward the desk, marking off the attendance sheet so James considered himself properly dismissed.

He headed to the bench, dumping the container down with a slightly worrying crash. He winced, then tried to smile good naturedly to the nearby students who looked up in alarm. James began to pull things out, mostly recognising them thanks to his dad’s determined home science classes. He dragged his lab book from his backpack, thumbing it open to the correct page.

Only reason I took this class was so Dad would be pleased, he thought. And then immediately knew it was unfair. Fleamont didn’t care what his son studied, as long as he enjoyed it. But by God James felt a pressure to make his dad proud, and Fleamont had been pleased as punch when James had told him he wanted to take a chemistry class.

Sneaking a glance at the bench to his left, James started to assemble the equipment as shown in the textbook. He connected the Bunsen burner to the gas, placing the tripod, gauze and beaker over top. The two vials of solution they were meant to be testing sat in the rack fixed to the bench, ensuring he wouldn’t knock them over accidentally. James tripled checked the diagram, trying to make sure everything was in the right place.

“Here,” James jumped slightly when a hand smacked a glass jar onto the bench next to his equipment. Lily smiled apologetically. “Sorry. I figured I’d help you catch up a little bit. This is the first powder to test. You can get the other two from the back of the room when your ready.”

James smiled back, feeling his ears tingle as he realised how frazzled he must look compared to the others in the class. Most people appeared to have already tested their first solutions and were moving onto the second. There was a gentle murmur of studious intent. Christ, he gulped. Some of them even had lab coats on.

“Uh, Cheers, uh,” he realised he didn’t know her name. Glancing down, he caught the edge of her staff swipe card and managed to glean a name. “Lily Evans. Thanks, Evans.”

Lily raised her eyebrows again. “No problem,” she hesitated for a second, looking down at his set up before considering him again. “You sure you were in the lecture?”

James nodded enthusiastically, then realised he was putting too much energy in, and tried to scale back. “Yeah, yeah. Right in the back. You probably just didn’t see… Not that I think your blind or anything. Obviously, that’s me,” he gestured to his specs, “But you know, lots of students. Probably just missed me in the crowd.”

“Right,” Lily looked at him slightly wide-eyed, clearly wondering if he was safe to be left alone with an open flame. “Well, I’ll just,” she didn’t even finish her sentence, just moved off to another bench, and likely students who weren’t complete idiots.

“Right, right,” James checked the lab book again, and following the instructions, dumped the blue solution into the beaker to be heated. “Now, I need a flame.”

He lit a match and held it up over the top of the Bunsen burner. But it wouldn’t light, and James almost singed his fingers as the match burnt down. He tried a couple more times, sneaking looks at the other benches. Everyone else had a pretty blue flame. Why didn’t he?

“Is the vent open?” Lily came over to his bench, having noticed his incompetence clear across the room. She leant down to look at the burner, bringing her so close into James’ space he could smell her perfume.

“Uh, I think so?” James rubbed the back of his neck, taking a discreet step back. It really wouldn’t do to start fancying his TA this early in the semester.

“Yeah, that’s not it. Maybe there’s a break in the piping,” Lily ran her hand along the length of the burner pipe to check. She stopped when she got to where the pipe connected to the gas meter under the bench. She paused, and then looked up at him. “You didn’t turn the gas on.”

“Oh,” James froze. That seemed like a pretty basic mistake, even to him. “Uh, oops?” he tried. “Must have been moving too fast and skipped it.”

“And the fact the match wouldn’t light didn’t clue you in?” she looked at him like he was a sandwich short of a picnic.

“Guess I’m having an off day,” he attempted a shrug, but really wanted to melt into the floor. Why couldn’t the cute girl be a subject he was actually good at, like his life drawing class. No, James, don’t think about her in your life drawing class.

“What was your name again?” Lily pulled what James assumed was a class list out of her back pocket.

“James,” he tried his most charming grin. “James Potter.”

“Well, you’re on the list,” Lily confirmed with a resigned nod. “Want to tell me how you got in this class when you don’t even know how to turn the gas on?”

James felt uncomfortable now, “Uh, well, you see.”

He was interrupted by a snort from the bench behind him. He turned to see Fabian Prewett, one of his football team comrades working on his own experiment with his brother, Gideon. They had a lovely blue flame and a bubbling solution over at their bench, James noted with jealousy.

“You right, Prewett?” he couldn’t help but glare.

“Fine, Potter,” the tall, broad goalie grinned. “Probably better than you. At least my dad didn’t get me into the class.”

“Our dad couldn’t get you into this class,” the identical boy next to him grinned. “He isn’t a world-renowned bloody chemist.”

James shot them a glare that said they’d pay for that next training and focused on his bench with all he had. He reached under the desk to turn the gas on, lighting his Bunsen burner successfully this time. He pulled his lab book toward him to read the next instructions, desperately hoping Lily would just move onto the next student if he looked proficient enough.

“Potter,” she murmured. “Potter…. Potter.” James knew all too well that she wasn’t really saying his name but trying to figure out who his father was.

“Sleakeasy,” he muttered, giving his solution a bit of stir. He felt Lily look at him strangely, so elaborated. May as well get this over with. “My dad, he invented Sleakeasy. The hair products.”

“Your dad is Fleamont Potter?” Lily asked incredulously. “And you can’t even turn gas on?”

“Yes,” James sighed, willing his solution to bubble. “My dad invented the best hair products in the UK, and I can’t light a Bunsen burner. It’s hilarious.”

“It’s a bit strange,” Lily commented. James could feel her eyes on him, curious but her tone was more cautious, clearly sensing his touchiness.

“Yeah,” he tried not to sigh again.

“What’s your major?” she asked. “I’m guessing it’s not Science?”

“Art,” James smiled tensely, “I’m actually good at that.” He opened the jar she’d placed on the bench earlier and set about measuring the required amount on the scales.

“Then why are you taking a chem class?”

James shrugged, giving up on his experiment to face her. She tilted her head at him, more considering than he’d seen her look since his late arrival. “I just wanted to be a good son for once,” he admitted. “My dad’s always tried to get me interested in chemistry, doing experiments at home, trying to blow stuff up, risking my mother’s wraith even. He tries so hard I thought the least I could do was let him get me into this class. He and Sluggy go way back.”

“That’s…kind of sweet actually,” Lily broke into a wide smile and James couldn’t help feeling like someone had turned the lights on.

“Yeah, well –“

“Your about to boil over,”

“What? Oh, god –“ Whatever James was going to say was lost as he realised Lily’s dry comment was not a dig at his personality, but an observation on his experiment. The blue liquid had finally heated enough and was now threatening to spill over the edges of the beaker. He hurried to turn down the flame.

“Well, at least you know how to do that part,” Lily sighed as someone called her name from the back of the room. “Try not to blow anything up and I’ll come back and help you finish.”

James focused on his work after she left, determined to prove he could do this, despite barely knowing his way around a lab. He decided that when Lily returned she would see he wasn’t a complete idiot, and then maybe he could ask her out. He tipped the powder into the blue liquid and was delighted to see it turn the same yellow he’d seen in the Prewitt’s beaker.

“Nice, Potter.”

“Shut it, Prewett.”

James went to the back of the room, where shelves were filled with various chemicals and substances. He found the shelf labelled for this prac, and quickly identified the two powders he didn’t have at his desk. Before he could grab it however, he was distracted by the most melodic sound he thought he’d ever heard.

He turned to look over toward the window, where Lily had tipped her head back to laugh at something one of the other girls had said. Dorcas, James thought her name was, who was also in his photography class. Lily’s eyes lit up as she laughed, and her hand reached out to touch Dorcas’ forearm. In an instant, James imagined making Lily laugh like that because of him. But not because I’ve failed at this bloody lab.

He grabbed the jars without a second glance and strode purposefully back to his bench. A quick glance at the instructions showed that he needed to add the first jar directly to the yellow mixture and bring it back to boil before adding the final substance.

“And, there we go,” James hummed to himself as his beaker started to boil again, but then he frowned. He turned to check the other benches, his concern growing. Where everyone else’s experiments remained a mellow yellow, James’ had turned a red hue as it bubbled away. He consulted the lab book, which said nothing about a red stage, but figured that maybe it would return to yellow once he added the final component.

“Alright there, Potter?” Lily called. “Why’s that red?”

“It’s all fine,” James sang back blithely. He was determined he’d complete the experiment before she got back to him. He could hear her steps coming closer. “Just adding the final part now.”

“Hold on, let me just check it. Potter, James, no, wait!” Lily’s cry came seconds too late as James tipped the last powder into his beaker.

“See, it’s all fine,” he grinned, looking back at Lily even as she frowned. “Look, it’s turning back-“

“Get down! Everyone!”

The next thing James knew, his words were cut off as Lily pushed him down under the bench. Before he could even protest, a loud bang went off on the table above them, shards of glass and pieces of metal raining down, smoke filling the room.

James watched as Lily surveyed the laboratory. She pursed her lips, and he tried not to think about how adorable her frown was as it turned on him. “Potter,” his name fell exasperatedly from her lips. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t,” before James could protest, Lily grabbed his hand. Actually, James thought she was grabbing his hand, but she was really reaching for the jar still in his hand.

She groaned as she read the label, “Potter. This isn’t what you were meant to add. It’s a bloody explosive if you add it to the other stuff.”

“It was on the shelf,” he protested.

“It was one shelf over from our lab,” Lily shook her head. “Didn’t you check?”

James thought back, and grimaced, “I guess I was a bit distracted.” He prayed she wouldn’t ask by what. He peeked out, and then ventured out from under the table. “I think it’s as safe as it’s going to get,” he told her, offering her a hand back up.

Lily took it and gingerly stood up. She looked around the destroyed room, and then back at James, “Well, Potter, no one is going to partner with you after this.”

“So, I’m out?” James felt like he’d let his dad down tenfold.

Lily shook her head, “Worse. I’m going to have to partner with you to make sure we all get through the semester.”

James tried not to break into the grin he knew was inappropriate. Maybe I should blow things up more often if it ends up like this.

Chapter Text

“Hey,” James thumped his books down on the lab bench, startling Lily who was sitting slumped across it.

“Hey,” she finished her text, frowning before she put her phone away.

“Something wrong?”

She shook her head, “Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Sounds mysterious,” James flipped open his lab book, checking the page numbers on the whiteboard as he turned to the correct one.

“Nah, just an old lab partner who isn’t getting the hint I don’t want to study together anymore,” Lily tried to shrug but her phone buzzed several times and she couldn’t help a sigh.

“He’s holding your genius back?” James guessed.

“Trying to hold me in general,” she grimaced.

James looked so appalled Lily regretted saying anything, “He didn’t, uh, force himself on you, did he?”

“No, no,” she shook her head vehemently, “He doesn’t have the guts for that. Just super possessive and clingy.”

“Tell him to bloody shove off.”

Lily sighed again, “It’s hard. We went to the same primary school. We’ve been friends a long time. He helped me get good enough marks to test out of Chemistry so I could be a TA. I feel like I owe him.”

“You should never owe a friend. That’s not how it works.”

“He’s never really seemed like he could hurt a fly, but then we came here, he fell in with a group. I think his beliefs have changed a bit now.”

“About chemistry?” James looked puzzled.

Lily winced, “More like white supremacy.”

“Evans,” James looked incredibly stressed, “This really doesn’t sound great.”

“I know, I know,” Lily pulled her own textbook out and started to thumb through the pages. “I’m sorting it.”

“It doesn’t sound like you are,” James frowned, leaning on the bench, his attention still focused on her.

“I am.”

“Well, let me know if you need any help,” James finally managed to catch her eye.

Lily stared at him for a long moment, one eyebrow raised, but James refused to look away. Eventually she relented, “Fine, Potter. If it makes you happier.”

“It’ll make me sleep easier at night,” James muttered, “Knowing your safe. But speaking of safety, shouldn’t you be starting this lab?”

Lily shook her head, “No, this is a competition lab, Slughorn’s running it. He lives for them.”

“Competition lab?” Lily swore James’ ears pricked up like a deer in the woods when a branch snapped.

“Yeah it’s a –” Lily broke off. “Oh, never mind, here’s Slughorn now, he’ll explain.”

The portly middle-aged man strode excitedly into the classroom, holding something behind his back.

“Good morning, everyone,” he boomed. “Today’s lab is a little bit special. It’s one of our three competition labs this semester. Your bench will compete against the others to complete the lab, fastest bench to complete it correctly, wins!”

“What do we win,” a girl from James’ residence, Emma, called from the back of the room.

“I’m glad you asked, Miss Vance,” Slughorn smiled. “The winners of today’s lab will win the, drumroll please Mr Diggory,” Amos tapped out a drumbeat with two pencils obligingly, “The Golden Onion.” The professor pulled out an onion, painted gold, from behind his back and held it up like an Olympian would hold up their gold medal.

James leant over to Lily as the class broke out into groans, “I half expect him to bite it,” he murmured, clearly having the same kind of imagery she was.

Lily snorted but was cut off from replying as Slughorn spoke again. “Did I mention there was also points towards your final grade up for grabs as well?”

The class quietened down with his words and started to murmur amongst themselves.

“In a progression from our earlier labs, you’ll need to identify each of the 10 substances on your desk. Some of them require several steps, so be warned, this won’t be easy and there is no cutting corners if you want to get it right.”

“Professor,” Gideon Prewett called from the behind Lily and James’. “Doesn’t Potter have an advantage, working with the TA? Bit unfair don’t you think?”

“Depends, Mr Prewett,” Slughorn smiled, eyes twinkling as he glanced over at James. “Would you find it unfair if the lab blew up again and you were unable to finish the competition at all? Your bench is in the blast radius. I think Miss Evans working with Mr Potter only balances out the scales, as it were, don’t you? Not to mention, keeps us all safe?”

Most of the class tittered while Gideon could only shrug. “Honestly, you blow up one lab in your first week,” James muttered under his breath, delighted to hear Lily let out another unladylike snort.

Slughorn placed the onion down on his desk and clapped both his hands. “Right everyone, your time starts NOW.”

Lily was extremely surprised to see James jump into action at Slughorn’s words. “You’re not usually so keen to get started,” she observed as James pulled out the necessary equipment and began setting it up for the first experiment, consulting the lab book religiously.

“One thing you should know about me, Evans,” he said as he turned the gas on a touch, and lit the Bunsen burner, “Is that I live for competition. Breath it. Feed off it.”

“It’s why he’s such a good captain,” Fabian commented from behind them. “He doesn’t let the rest of us off even for a second. Even the coach is a little bit afraid of him.”

Lily quirked an eyebrow, this report not matching with the normal laidback, lackadaisical bloke she’d known for a few weeks now, “Is that right?”

“My mother learnt very young that the only way to really get me to do anything, was to make it a competition,” James spoke without taking his eyes off the beaker. Lily realised with a start he was already halfway through the first step.

“Apparently, she was on to something,” Lily nodded her head toward the bubble concoction. “I was going to say I’m only going to help if your going to blow us up again, but your looking pretty competent there. I don’t think you even need me anymore.”

“Ah, Evans, there’s a difference between want and need,” James sent her a cheeky wink before refocusing his attention. Lily tried not to smile as she shook her head dramatically and tsked. “You don’t want me to start a fire just for your attention now, do you?”

“Because that’s really the way to get a girls attention,” Lily rolled her eyes, sitting back down on her stool.

“Worked for my father,” James grinned, making a note on in his lab book before moving to tip out the contents of his beaker and rinse it out, ready to begin again.

James quickly worked his way through the experiments, and only twice did Lily have to intervene for the safety of everyone, but given most students were needing some assistance, she felt she wasn’t really earning her meagre TA salary today. She did however make sure to comment loudly and often how she wasn’t doing anything, least someone think James hadn’t earnt his eventual win.

He rewarded her comments with a sweeping twirling hug when he was awarded the golden onion at the end of the lab. “We did it,” he crowed, dropping onto one knee to offer the sad trophy up to her with both hands. “Your reward, my lady.”

“Oh, get up,” Lily pulled him up by the elbow, still trying to recover her breath and her heart for being spun around. His strong arm and warm body had had more of an effect on her than she realised. Or maybe that too handsome face, she couldn’t help but think.

“Here,” James continued to offer her the onion.

“Potter, you did all the work,” Lily pushed it away. “I’m not taking your onion.”

“You made sure we made it through in one piece,” James insisted until Lily took it reluctantly. Around them the class was packing up, and he pulled one strap of his backpack through his arm, hitching it onto his broad shoulder.

Lily also hoisted her bag and started to move toward the door, “Thankfully my interventions are required less and less.”

“Have you got a class now?” James asked as he fell into step beside her in the corridor. When Lily shook her head, he smiled, “Want to grab a coffee and talk about how we trounced everyone?”

“You trounced them,” Lily couldn’t help but say. She considered for a second, “It’s just coffee, right?”

James nodded, “Of course, what else would it be? A potion?”

Well, apparently not a date, Lily thought wryly as she followed him out into the quad towards the Science department’s coffee shop, The Brew Lab.

Chapter Text

Lily's phone rang at some ungodly hour of the night, waking her from the most passionate dream of Chris Hemsworth and his mighty hammer. She groped about on her nightstand without opening her eyes, rejecting the call and turning off the ringer.

Success.

But less than a minute later, vibrations caused the phone to dance across the small wooden table, and Lily's hand shot out at great speed to prevent it from crashing to the floor like her last phone had. She ignored the call again and shoved it under her pillow, snuggling her face deeper into its soft depths.

Bliss.

Just as she was starting to doze off again, breath deepening, Chris fluttering around the outsides of her vision, it started again. Now the buzzing sent direct pulses through her head, causing Lily to let out an animalistic growl as she pulled the phone out. She blinked at the bright light as she attempted to determine the demon who had awakened her.

James Chem Class

Lily frowned. That wasn't a name she'd seen come up on her call list before. They'd texted fairly regularly since trading numbers after coffee the other day, but never spoken on the phone.

The event itself had gone well, despite his early insistence it wasn’t a date, James had refused to let Lily pay, had showered her with compliments , and regularly touched her through the time. Just small brushes, her arm, her hand, the small of her back as they’d walked in and out. 

Their chat since then had been pretty standard, trading book and Netflix recs, sharing funny stories, complaining about flatmates. A few selfies had been traded, Lily making sure to send her cutest looks while she pretended to complain about someone noisy in the library, or a grumpy customer at work. 

"Hello?" She answered the call, her voice loud in the darkened room.

"What's that thing you said to put in coke to make an explosion?"

Lily pulled the phone away from her ear, checked the name again, before bringing it back to her ear. "What?"

"Oh, sorry! It's James Potter," he was practically shouting down the phone at her, the background noise a fairly classic mix of shouting and bad 90s music.

"I know," Lily responded dryly. "Do you know what time it is?"

"Uh," Lily could almost see James ruffling his hair, like he did so often in class when he wasn't sure what to do next. "No, actually."

"It's," Lily held the phone away again to check the screen, "three in the morning, Potter."

"Oh," she could hear the crestfallen note in his voice. "I didn't realise. You were probably asleep."

"It is a Tuesday. It's what most people do," Lily confirmed, rolling onto her back.

"Yeah, but see, it's Pete's birthday, so we had to celebrate and he wanted to go to this posh place for dinner, but it was Russian and all they gave us was vodka and turnips so the vodka really slapped and I was telling them about my Golden Onion trophey and how they could probably sell that if they wanted, and then the boys didn't believe I'd won something so I wanted to show them that experiment you mentioned doing but I couldn't remember what you put in the coke."

"That was an incredibly long sentence, Potter," Lily held back the giggle as she picked up the slur in his tone now. "Didn't know you were so against sentence structure. I can tell why you're not an English major."

"Didn't want you to hang up," he admitted. "Sorry I woke you."

"So you got drunk, and the first thing you thought of doing was recreating my 7th grade science fair project?" Lily let the laugh come into her voice this time, he sounded so remorseful she didn't feel the need to scold him.

"It sounded cool! Nothing like what I got to do as a kid. Posh schools are the worst."

"I'm sure," Lily rolled her eyes even though he couldn't see her. "Where are you? It's so noisy."

"Just our flat, here, hold on," there were a few more moments of noise, a door closing, and then quiet. "Sorry, everyone's a bit rowdy after the restaurant. Sirius keeps trying to teach people Russian dancing, but he doesn't actually know it and keeps falling over."

"Sounds fun. Just the four of you, then?" Lily may as well fish about while she was here.

"Nah, Pete's girlfriend and a couple of his mates from his degree. They're all tech nerds so I can't really follow most of the time."

"Your girlfriend didn't come then?" Lily may as well have thrown the rod into the water.

"Would have to have one for that to happen," James laughed.

"Fair enough," Lily was pleased with the nonchalant tone she achieved.

"Have I woken a boyfriend who’s probably going to be pissed a drunk guy from your chem class is calling you in the middle of the night?" James sounded both curious and amused. Not like someone who would care if he had in fact angered a sleeping boyfriend.

"Only if you mean Alfred, my flatmate's cat, who loves to sleep on my feet at night," Lily snorted.

"No human boyfriends?"

"Not even the one."

"Interesting," James mused.

"What?"

"What's wrong with you, then?"

"What does that mean?" Lily almost sat up in indignation.

"Nothing, nothing," James said hastily. When Lily only huffed, he added more, "I just meant, well, smart, funny, obviously gorgeous, why aren't you snapped up yet? Must be something wrong with you."

Lily's heart skipped a beat or three as his words registered. As did the earnest, warm, charming tone that had delivered them. Her knees bent, toes curling into the mattress in delight.

"I could ask the same about you."

"Jealous best friend. Won't part with me for anyone he doesn't like."

"And his approval is hard won?"

"Now, you're getting it."

"So, you’re doomed to be alone, then. How sad."

"Nah, I'll fight for the girl I really want," something in James' tone made Lily really want to be that girl.

"Lucky her then."

"Yeah, I guess," James fell silent then and Lily wondered if the jealousy in her voice had rung as clear to him as it had to her. She panicked for something to say.

"Altoids."

"What?" James' confusion was obvious.

"You put Altoids in coke to make the eruption. If you've got a corner store, they should have some."

"Oh, right," James became brighter again as his confusion cleared. "Thanks."

"Anytime."

They both paused on the line for another minute.

"Was that all?" Lily asked after a while.

"Oh, yeah, I guess it was," James chuckled, sounding a bit nervous. "You probably want to go back to sleep."

"As much as I am enjoying this, I do have an early class," Lily agreed.

"I really am sorry I woke you," James apologised again.

"It's okay," Lily reassured him, "I'm flattered you remembered my project."

"I remember everything you say."

"Because the safety of the lab depends on it?"

"Because you're fascinating," James said, sounding so sincere and serious that Lily had to swallow to get her voice to work up a reply.

"Oh."

"Yeah," James laughed again, sounding even more nervous. "Well, I best be off to destroy my kitchen. Wish me luck."

"Good luck, Potter. My sympathies to whoever has to clean up."

"That'd be me. Night, Evans."

"Night, James."

*****

Lily woke at three hours later when her alarm went off, after a deluge of dreams that didn't contain anymore Australian actors who liked to parade around as superheroes, but did contain a certain dark haired, bespectacled man. She'd have to try forget that dream before the next Chem class, lest her blush give her away.

Lily rolled to silence the phone, dragging it back with her as she disconnected the charger. She always woke a little early so she could afford ten minutes or so of time on the socials and to check her favourite stories on tumblr incase of updates. What she found though, was a waiting text message.

Lily opened it, to find several pictures and a bit of text waiting for her. It seemed to be a bit of a sideshow of a kitchen, showing several bottles of coke lined up along the table, next to several bags of Altoids.

"Oh no," Lily groaned. She flicked through the pictures.

A kaleidoscope of images swam before her. Some depicted explosions that were in line with Lily's year seven science fair project. Small fizzles of brown liquid oozing over the top and out. Others could only be the result of a whole bag of Altoids being shoved into the bottle, shaken, and left to explode over every surface available. Lily was quite certain this was the case, as a long dark haired, stunning, man was pictured completing the task, and subsequently laughing at a sandy haired boy Lily was pretty sure was in her psychology class, covered in sugary mess.

The last photo was a selfie of her lab partner. James's hair was the flattest Lily had ever seen it, mostly stuck down wet against his forehead. His glasses held remnants of coke, brown bubbles obscuring exaggeratedly wide eyes from view. His mouth held his usual smirk, though the downturn of one lip suggested he had tried to hold it back.

Lily saved the photo as James' contact image on her phone before reading the only text of the whole message thread, under the final photo.

Oops.

She tapped the open box at the bottom of the thread and typed quickly.

Were there any survivors?

Not wanting to sit staring at her screen like a stalker, Lily put her phone on the bedside table and went to use the loo.

As she came back into the room she heard her phone vibrate but forced herself to pull on her dressing gown before picking it up again.

Definitely not the kitchen.

Lily snorted but before she could compose a reply another message came through.

Or my head.

That bad huh?

You have no idea.

You're up early though.

Couldn't sleep. Remus is so furious he's banging around the house getting ready for class.

Oops?

Yeah.

It looked like the experiment was a great success though?

It was something alright.

To be fair, I didn't clarify how many Altoids to use per bottle. I feel like I should take some responsibility.

Don't. Really. Remus might murder you.

That the blonde one?

Yeah. He was drenched. He tried to stop the bottles from going off after the first two went everywhere.

Oh dear

Lily realised she was standing in the middle of her bedroom when she really should be getting ready for her early class. She moved to the kitchen and switched on the kettle, pulling out her travel mug for tea. She leant against the counter as her phone buzzed again.

He did not succeed

I'm so sorry

Again. All us. Not you. Promise.

I still feel guilty.

Don't. We're prats.

Have you started to clean up yet?

Not yet. Going to shower first. Feel like I slept in sugar.

I could come help? Make it up to Remus?

I'm not sure you helping me in the shower would be an apology to him?

That's not what I meant!

No?

I meant help clean up!

Oh, that's a shame.

What?

Thought you were offering to help me in the shower.

"Morning."

Lily almost dropped her phone she was so startled as one of her flatmates walked into the living area.

"Oh, er, morning King."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," Kingsley grinned as he moved past her to the fridge. "You normally hear me coming a mile away."

"Yeah, sorry, no worries. I was just a bit distracted," Lily looked down at her screen again just as it went black, suddenly aware of the heat she felt all over.

"What by? You've gone all red, Red," Kingsley teased as he shook his protein shaker, letting the fridge door fall closed.

"Nothing," Lily said hurriedly, tucking her phone in her dressing pocket and moving to make her tea. "It was nothing."

"Was it a boy?" Kingsley leant against the bench.

"What? No, no. Just someone from my lab."

"A boy someone?" Kingsley's grin was a mile wide at this point.

"What is it with you this morning?" Lily huffed as she threw a teatowel at him.

"Not like you to look all flustered is all."

"I told you, you startled me," Lily fixed the lid on her mug as her phone vibrated in her pocket again. "I have to get ready, early class."

"I'll figure it out eventually," Kingsley threatened as she moved from the room, "Or at least Mary will."

Lily groaned as she shut her bedroom door, resting against the wall next to it as her phone buzzed again. She fished it from her pocket and unlocked it.

Inappropriate?

Sorry if I offended you. I blame the hangover

Lily hastened to reply to reassure him.

No no you're fine. Sorry my flatmate was hassling me.

Oh good. What about?

Lily bit her lip before she replied. Well, he did start it.

Apparently my face was a bit red.

Oh really?

Yeah

How come?

"Well if he wants to play like that," Lily took a deep breath, typed quickly, and hit send before she could change her mind.

Pictured you in the shower.

She sweated bullets waiting for the reply.

Got you all hot and bothered did it?

A bit

You're not alone.

Lily exhaled, her heart skittering several beats until she couldn't help but throw her phone on her bed. With shaking hands she discarded her robe and pyjamas, pulling on clothes without really considering them.

A quick glance at her watch told her she needed to get to class. Picking up her backpack, she shoved her books in, along with her half-filled water bottle and her tablet. She shoved her phone in her back pocket, feeling the short buzz that a new message had come through.

"Bye," Lily called as she rushed down the hall and out the door without looking. A farewell came back just before the door slammed behind her.

Her phone didn't come out of her pocket until she was halfway to the lecture theatre.

So are you on your way?

To Bio? Yes.

I mean we can call it whatever you want. As long as your here. In the shower. With me.

Lily had to stop herself from walking into a lamp post.

You're pretty smooth for a guy with a hangover.

Might still be drunk.

Ill be back to my usual bumbling self in a few hours, so quick quick like a bunny

How charming.

See its fading already

Call me when you're sober if you're brave enough to repeat the offer.

Abs. Evans. Ill show you them

We're not covering the abdomen in bio today.

Turning on the water

Maybe next time.

Ill hold onto that hope

You're taking this well.

Nothing if not an optimist.

Lily rolled her eyes, trying to stop smiling as she slid into a chair just as Professor Sprout walked to the lecture.

Lecture's starting. Go have a shower and a nap, Potter.

What's it on?

Lily opened her textbook to the appropriate page and smirked. She snapped a picture back to James.

A dick pic Evans? How crass.

Enjoy that shower James.

Oh I will.

A picture came through with his assurance, and she almost dropped her phone again as she felt her face flush with heat. A bare torso, complete with well defined pectorals and abdominals, as well as taut obliques that led the eye down to unsnapped jeans filled the screen. Water trickled down the centre line of the six pack. Lily would have thought it was a screenshot from Instagram, if the skin colour hadn’t been the exact shade as James’, and the hand to the side of the body wasn’t holding some really familiar specs. 

Lily clicked out of it quickly, before she could change her mind before the lecture really began. She was jostled as she bent to put her phone into the front pocket of her backpack in a bid to put the image from her mind. She looked up to find a familiar sandy haired man sliding into the seat next to her.

"Sorry," he apologised when he realised he'd knocked her. "Have I missed much?"

Lily shook her head, "Just starting."

The man sighed in relief,  "Thank God." He rubbed tiredly at his forehead.

"Late night?"

He nodded at her question, "Very."

"I feel I should apologise."

"What on earth for?" He looked at her in confusion.

Lily reached into her bag again for her phone and flicked it open, holding up the screen, "This might have been because of me."

He squinted at the picture of his ruined kitchen for several long moments before comprehension dawned and his eyes widened. Then they narrowed. "You're Lily."

She winced before nodding, "Nice to meet you, Remus." 

Chapter Text

Lily entered Chem Lab on Friday with a broad smile on her face. James already sat at his bench, hands in his hair, head down. He looked a sorry, stressed, pile of misery, and Lily knew exactly why. 

Im so sorry. I've just sobered after a long nap and first thing I see on my phone is my messages. I was inappropriate. I'm so sorry. 

Lily had felt her heart crumple a little when she received this message shortly after her last class of the day. It wasn't that she had huge hopes of a lifelong romance, but flirting and being around James was fun. She'd have loved to see where it would lead. But he clearly had just been drunk texting her. 

No stress, we've all been there. See you in class. 

That had been their only contact, but Lily had become good friends with Remus since their lecture. They'd discovered they actually shared a couple of classes, sat together for them, and had organised a study session for an upcoming Bio quiz. She had it on good authority that James had been stressing she thought he was a complete creep and wouldn't ever speak to him again.  

High in the drama, Remus had said. And his rather dramatic looking posture as she regarded him now didn't disprove this fact. 

Lily tossed her backpack under the teacher's desk at the front of the room and noticed there was a single sunflower placed across it. She picked it up, turning it over in her hands. It was almost completely perfect. She looked over at James, who was now watching her, hands still threaded in his hair, pulling at it. 

Lily couldn't help thinking she longed to pull his hair too. 

"It's an apology sunflower," he said quietly as she approached, glancing at the few students who were filtering into the room. "Evans, I'm so sorry." 

"You don't need to be, Potter, it's fine," Lily tried to assure him. 

"It's really not. We only just met, and I shouldn't have made you uncomfortable." 

"You didn't," Lily placed both hands on the bench in front of her, facing James over it. With him standing and her sitting, they were almost at eye level. 

"It's just you're quite pretty, and very nice and I got a bit carried away."

"Honestly, it's really fine."

"But I -" 

"James," she growled under her breath, and as his eyes caught hers she saw them flash with the use of his first name. "Did you reread all the messages?" 

He nodded miserably, "Of course." 

Lily cocked her head to the side, leaning even closer to him. So close, she could see the flecks of gold in his hazel eyes. So close, she could smell the mint on his breath, a spicy scent from his aftershave. So close, she heard him swallow audibly. He didn't lean away. 

"Then you should know." 

"What?" 

"That you have nothing to be sorry for." 

James’s lips quirked as he took in her sly grin, "Why's that?" 

"Because," Lily reached out to where his hand had fallen on the table and ran her fingers over it. "I flirted with you back." 

She leant back as she watched James's eyes turn from disbelief to a dark heat, and winked before she turned back to the front, organising herself to start the lesson. When she snuck a few glances back as she prepared, she found his eyes on her every time. They seemed almost predatory, like a lion watching a gazelle. 

It should have unnerved her. 

It didn't.  

Lily moved the sunflower to the side of her desk and clapped her hands once the room was full. The students quietened accordingly and she felt a thrill that they actually listened to her. 

"Good morning, everyone. Today's lab follows on from the acid base lecture at the start of the week, so I hope you attended and did the pre-reading. If not, you better hope your partner did. At the back of the room you'll find a box for each bench. In these boxes are 10 different vials. Your lab today involves testing each of the vials using the method on the board," she indicated the PowerPoint projected behind her, "to determine if each vial contains an acid or a base. Any questions?" 

"Is it a competition?" Gideon Prewett asked, a mischievous smile on his face. 

"Hoping to lose again?" James retorted without turning around.  

"It was a fluke last time, Potter." 

"No competition, just your own benefit of learning," Lily cut in before James could reply. "If there are no actual questions, off you go." 

She turned off the PowerPoint, opened her lab book to the correct page and surveyed the room. Most students were back to their benches with the vials, James included. She drifted toward him. 

"Coming to help?" He asked with a raised eyebrow as he set up his bench for the testing. 

"Nothing here is explodable," Lily shook her head with a dry look, "So you should be fine on your own." 

"Not like you to be afraid of a bit of chemistry, Evans," James countered, his voice low.

Lily stuck him with a glare, "Time and a place, Potter." 

"Is that right?" James' eyes flicked between her and the beakers in front of him. 

"Besides," Lily leaned across him to indicate the right testing solution to start with, "Some things are better left to simmer, don't you think?" Her hand brushing along his forearm as she straightened up, turning away to another bench before he could respond. 

Lily moved throughout the room, pointing out set up issues, poor lab practise like clean up, misuse of safety equipment, and helping with more specific testing techniques. She smiled and laughed with the students, many, like James, the same age as her. There was great enjoyment to be had as a TA, getting to share her knowledge and passion for chemistry, and science as a whole with others. Seeing someone's face light up when they finally grasped a difficult concept or achieved the right result really satisfied her. 

But there was also significant drawbacks. Lily held back sighs, frowns and grimaces as she corrected the work of the lazy, uninterested or unmotivated. She yelled despite herself when safety was lapsed and wiped sweat from her brow after diverting minor crises that could have resulted in the dissolution of the lab floor from under their feet. 

There was also the downside that she significantly fancied one of her students, and needed to keep herself out of temptation's way in the middle of a class. A fact James didn't seem to realise. 

"Evans," he called when he saw her finish with two girls, Hestia and Emma, towards the back of the room. "A hand?" 

Lily pursed her lips but nodded, making her way to James's bench. "What trouble have you got us into this time, Potter?" 

"Not trouble, really," he swore, gesturing in front of him. "In fact, I think I might be finished." 

"That was quick," Lily acknowledged, impressed. "Let me see your sheet." 

James turned his lab book to face her, and Lily brought her own copy out to compare the test results. 

"Almost, Potter," she smiled. "Nice job. Just number eight needs work." 

"No it doesn't," James said, not even looking to check it. 

Lily nodded, smiling amusedly. "You haven't taken it as far as you could." 

"Sounds like an invitation," James's eyes glittered. 

Lily shrugged, glancing at the clock, "There's still time, it's up to you." 

"Challenge accepted," James reached across her before she could slip away. He moved to take several vials from the far side of the bench, collecting them with one hand, but the movement brought him closer to Lily. His other hand found it's way to her waist, thumb pressing inside her hip bone, fingers clenching into her side. Lily felt a zap at the contact. 

"Oi," she hissed. All she could think about when he touched her was that photo he'd sent when he'd still been drunk. With the water, and the skin, and the muscles. 

"Something wrong?" James straightened up, his hand departing as he did so. He glanced at her, all wide eyed innocence, before returning to his task. Bambi would have looked guiltier. 

Lily tutted, and turned away before he could see the corners of her lips twitch. Honestly . 

She continued around the lab again, marking off tasks and hinting where corrections needed to be made. No one had done as well as James on their first attempt, she couldn't help noting. 

"Alright, everyone," she eventually called time on the lab. "Clean up and get out of here. It's the weekend."

There were a few cheers and general calamity as everyone rushed to finish up and depart. She tried to imagine it was more the lure of a cold beer or wine that had them hurrying, some moving quicker than they had all lab, rather than her teaching skills. A few more diligent students came up to ask her questions on the first assignment, due in another couple of weeks. It would make up a third of their grade, and Lily was grateful Slughorn was marking them himself as she found her TA feet. 

The room emptied as she went over essay outlines and key criteria, but she was aware that the bench near the front of the room stayed occupied. She refused to let heat build in her cheeks under his watchful gaze. Didn't even deign to glance over. The last student left, and she turned to repack her own belongings. 

Footsteps sounded quietly behind her. 

"Did you have a question?" Lily refused to turn around. 

"Can I buy you a drink?" His voice was a balm, honeyed and warm, yet a shiver went down her spine at the feel of his breath on her neck. 

"I meant about chemistry," she bit her lip, even though he couldn't see her. 

"I am talking about chemistry," he argued. One hand came down onto the desk next to her. He leant in, so close she could feel his warmth radiating into her.

Lily snorted before she could stop herself. "Who knew you could be this suave without being entirely drunk?" 

"I'm better at a lot of things when I'm not drunk." 

She spun, leaning back against the table as she looked up into his eyes. "Is that right?" 

"Come for a drink with me and find out." 

"How can I resist such charm?" She raised an eyebrow, and her tone was sarcastic, but her heart skipped a beat as she answered his smile with a grin of her own. He really was incredibly good looking. 

"Knew you'd see sense," James took her bag and threw it over his shoulder with her own. He ignored her sound of protest and put his hand on the small of her back. "Shall we?"

"And now manners," Lily mocked gently. "I'm shocked." 

"My mother taught me well." 

They went to one of the campus bars, but one a little further away than the main pub situated at the central quad. While the drinks were cheaper at the more popular bar, it was understandably more crowded and therefore loud. Lily was grateful for the choice. It would have been a crime to miss James the storyteller. 

She'd never laughed so much in her life. James's stories were often centred around himself, and his brother, Sirius, who Lily learnt wasn't actually his brother, but his best friend that had been adopted by the Potters when it became apparent his family subscribed to the same kind of ideals that had led Lily to end her longest childhood friendship. They had been at boarding school together, and a combination of boredom and, though James didn't put it that way, too much intelligence, had resulted in the two getting up to unfathomable mischief. 

"Poor Professor McGonagall," Lily gasped, her sides hurting. "I feel terrible for her. Having to put up with you two." 

"Poor us," James argued, grinning like the madman she was pretty sure he was. "She gave as good as she got. Always found the worst cleaning jobs for us for detention." 

"I don't blame her. Poor little rich boys, you'd probably never cleaned a day in your life before." 

James held out his hands, "Excuse me, Evans, do these look like the soft hands of a pretty, pampered, rich boy?" 

Lily ran her fingers over his palms, feeling the rough callouses, the toughened skin. Noting how long his fingers were, how strong they felt. Imagining how they'd feel on her. 

He cleared his throat, causing her to jump. Realised she's been contemplating his hands far longer than would be considered normal. Fighting the blush she knew would grace her skin any moment, her eyes flew to his. The dark heat she'd seen in the classroom was back. 

The attempt to remove her hand failed as he closed his around hers. He squeezed gently, refusing to relinquish his grip when she tried to pull away. She licked her lips as they suddenly felt dry, and saw his eyes follow the movement before coming back to her own. 

She looked around, realised that the bar's vibe had changed. The lights were dimmer, and it was dark outside the windows. Some of the tables had been moved to uncover a dance floor in the centre of the room. They'd had several drinks since arriving, and shared some bar snacks, but Lily hadn't realised it had gotten quite this late. 

"Dance with me?" James was watching her still when she turned back. 

Lily nodded, laughing as he pulled her up and over to the floor with a shimmy of his shoulders. The bar was renowned for their mix of musical styles and they fell into the swing beat with ease. James twirled her under his arm during the chorus, moving her around to the point of breathlessness. As the music returned to the more sedate verse he pulled her close with a gentle hand on her waist. Her hand landed at his shoulder, clenching into the cotton of his shirt. 

"Not bad for a rugby player," she commented as they swayed in a circle amongst the other couples. 

"I can't take all the credit," he murmured near her ear. "Mum insisted that if I was going to play the sport of heathens, as she put it, I had better learn some grace as well." 

"You're not doing much to persuade me you're not a spoilt, rich kid," she teased. "Boarding school, dance lessons. You'll be telling me you know your fish fork from your butter knife next." 

"And you don't? Sounds like you might be the heathen among us." 

"No, it's definitely still you," she met his eyes defiantly. 

James responded by pushing at her waist, sending Lily away from him with a turn. He pulled her in toward him before she completed the turn, so his chest met her back. Her hands flew to cover his at her hips.

He leant down, lips ghosting across her bare neck, exposed by the ponytail she'd pulled it up into before the lab. Lily felt her eyes close of their own volition as she leant back into him, arching her neck to give him better access. 

"Could a heathen do that? Or a spoilt rich kid, for that matter?"

Before Lily could respond, ask what he meant, the music changed from one song to the next. The more upbeat swing morphed into a sultry RnB rhythm and James' hands moved her hips in time with it. He pressed in closer until no part of him wasn't touching her. His head bent forward until his temple rested against hers as they moved. 

Lily felt her body flood with heat, her senses overloading. Her skin tingled wherever James touched. Along her middle, as one hand moved to splay across her stomach. Across her chest, as the other moved higher, thumb brushing the underside of her breast. On her cheek, as his evening stubble created friction between them. Her own arms reached back, gripping at his hips, sliding down the front of his thighs, her bottom cupped in his lap. She felt electric. She felt alive. 

"Well?" His teasing tone was marred by the gravel in his voice that indicated he was as affected as she was by their dancing. 

She tried to remember their conversation. "Not bad," she admitted eventually. "For a posh brat." 

With a sound in her ear like a roar, James spun her, pulling her up against him on the dance floor, no longer moving. He lifted her with a strong hand at the cleft of her bum, dragging her up and against his body until her toes rested on his shoes. Lily's face was turned up by a pressure on her chin, fingers combing through her hair. 

"Well if I'm going to be accused of always getting what I want," he hissed at her before closing the gap between their mouths. 

Lily felt herself shiver again with anticipation, desperate to feel his lips on her. To see if the hype they'd built lived up to the experience of his kiss. Surely the chemistry between them, the passion, the sparks that flew unbidden when they spoke, laughed and touched each other would burn out to a mere fizzle. Surely this kind of reaction could not be maintained.

Apparently, it could. 

Her hands at the nape of his neck, a gentle, downward pressure brought their lips together. Their mouths moved against each other once, twice, a third time before opening to allow their tongues to dance. Lily didn't feel tasted, so much as devoured. James explored her mouth with a fervour, nibbled at her lower lip. His kisses were flavoured by the spices of the whiskey he'd drunk during the evening and it added to the spinning in her head. Each kiss just left her wanting more.

James' hands were restless against her body. She felt them pressing at her sides, her arms, her hips. Brushing through her hair, along her neck, against her throat. Sliding against the curve of her breast, her waist, her bottom. She shivered and burnt in turn at his touch; marvelled as his ability to move; all she could do was hold on. 

It wasn't until her back hit the wall that she realised he'd moved them from the dance floor to a quiet spot off to the side. Her eyes fluttered open, taking in his own doing the same. His forehead rested on hers, thumbs sweeping her cheek as he fought to catch his breath, clearing his throat before pulling back and attempting to speak.

"I need to ask you a question," James said quietly. So soft she could barely hear him. 

"Of course," she frowned, noting his sudden apprehension. He was so seldom unconfident it was strange to see him like that. It didn't suit him. Especially after what they'd just shared. 

"You like me."

She tilted her head, "That's not a question." 

"I like you," he ignored her, brushing stray hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ear. She couldn't deny the butterflies taking off again in her stomach. "A lot." 

She caught his hand as it came back down, "I like you too." 

"But you're my TA," he continued. "Aren't there rules?" 

Lily froze. How had she forgotten that? "Fuck," she swore softly.

He nodded, releasing her hands, resting his arm on the wall next to her head. Glumness overcame his expression. "I thought so." 

"I didn't even think," she admitted. "I'm still so new at being one." 

"Not that anyone would ever know, you're brilliant at it," he smiled. 

"Thanks," she shook off his compliment, trying to remember the conversation she'd had with Slughorn mere weeks ago. "But that doesn't help." 

"Sorry." 

"I wasn't really thinking about falling for anyone when I took the job," she ignored his grin at her unconscious admission. "This," she waved between them. "It just doesn't feel wrong." 

He shook his head, "No, it doesn't."

"We're the same age."

"I mean, technically you're still the older woman here." 

"By two months, Potter. We're both adults." 

"And definitely consenting," he raised an eyebrow. "Right?" 

"Definitely," she huffed, brushing her thumb across his cheek. "More than." 

"But…" James's closeness made it hard to think. 

Her head fell to his chest, "But I have to mark your work, at some point. Technically, I'm in a position of power over you." 

"I like the idea of you over me." 

"Oi," Lily lifted her head to glare. "Not the time." 

"Sorry," his hand stroked the back of her head as she leant into him again. Her hands crept back around his middle. He felt so warm, so comfortable, so right . 

"I'll speak to Slughorn," she said, pushing back off him. Her face twisted into a grimace, "I'll change classes, so I'm not your TA anymore." 

"What are you going to tell him? I'm sure it’s not going to look good if you say you want to date me." 

"Who said anything about dating?" Lily countered. 

"Go out with me, Evans?" James gave her his most charming smile. 

"Not if it was between you and a giant squid." 

James tutted, "We both know you don't mean that." 

"Maybe I just want to jump you." 

James looked pained, "Evans, you're killing me here." 

She snorted at him. "As if I'd change classes just for some good sex." 

"Pretty sure it'd be great sex," he corrected. "Mind blowing. Life altering." 

"You sound pretty sure of yourself." 

"You're meant to be good at chemistry, Evans. You trying to deny ours?" 

Lily shook her head. "Not at all. But I'd rather not risk my job just for sex all the same. Even if it would probably be worth it." 

"It would," James agreed. "But I don't want you to risk your job regardless. So you should probably let go of me." 

Lily realised at his words that her hands had moved during their banter. One had snuck under his t-shirt, her fingertips tracing the muscles she'd only seen in the picture he'd sent her. The other was cupped around his neck, the pad of her thumb resting against the angle of his jaw.

"Shit, sorry," she muttered, moving away.

James snagged her hand before she could go too far. "Don't apologise. I didn't mind in the least," he ducked his head to look at her. "You're just quite hard to resist, Evans." 

"That right?" She tilted her head at him in consideration. 

"Get it squared with Slughorn on Monday, or I'll try change to another class. Whatever is easiest. And then, I'm taking you on a date." James pulled her hand up towards his mouth, kissing her knuckles. It would have been sweet, if he hadn't nipped her before he pulled away. 

Lily felt her breath catch at the sharp pinch. "Maybe I just want the sex." 

"Trust me, Lily," he lent forward now, pulling at her earlobe with those same teeth. 

Heat pooled within her. "You want the date. And the sex." 

She really did. 

Chapter Text

Remus jumped, clearly startled, as Lily’s books thumped down onto the table in front of him.

“Problem?” he asked, righting the water bottle he’d knocked over.

“Shit, sorry,” Lily grimaced. She settled herself down into a chair with decidedly more grace than she’d arrived.

“Bad day?”

She nodded, sighed, buried her head in her hands. “You could say that.”

“Do I want to ask?”

Lily looked up at Remus, peeking between her fingers at him. “Do you want to know how my attempt to change lab classes, so that I can happily seduce your friend, went?”

“I think he’d be happily seduced if it’s any consolation.”

“Oh?” An absolute fail at keeping the happiness out of her voice despite her general despair.

“But things didn’t go so well?”

“No,” a smaller, sadder admission.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“So what are you going to do?”

Lily sat up in her chair, bracing her hands on the edge of the table, taking a deep breath in. “Pass the buck.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Lily managed a smile at the perplexed look on Remus’ face, “It’s James’ turn.”

“Oh,” Remus looked relieved. “He’s going to try and change classes?”

She nodded, “There’s another lab group that’s following the same schedule as ours. It had a couple of places in it still.”

“Well, that’s good.”

“Their labs are at eight in the morning. Less interest.”

“That’s... not so good. James isn’t much of a morning person.”

“Oh dear,” Lily had the grace to look a bit embarrassed. “He didn’t say.”

“I didn’t think he would have. He’s quite keen,” Remus seemed to be enjoying himself. “In case you couldn’t tell.”

“He’s not the only one.” She picked up her phone to send a text. Summoning the troops as it were. 

No go, sorry. You’re up, Potter.

Thought you were going to use your feminine wiles, Evans

They don’t work on Slughorn, apparently.

Maybe he’s gay

Or I’m not his type.

I hardly think that’s true

You think he’s keen on young women?

I think he’s keen on pretty, young things with a talent for chemistry

I’m a bio major.

Probably even better for him. He’s so old he’ll need help finding it

Lily snorted, and Remus looked up at her with a raised eyebrow. She shrugged and he went back to tapping away on his keyboard.

I’m never going to be able to look him in the eye again.

Sorry not sorry

Enjoy those early mornings, Potter

As long as I’m having late nights, I won’t complain Evans ;)

Late nights?

You objecting? You’ll obviously be there so speak now

“Are we going to do any study?” Remus interrupted before Lily could reply again.

She cringed guiltily, clicked her phone screen off and set it face down on the table. “Sorry, yes.” Her phone buzzed, and she looked down at it. “Right, where should we start?” The phone buzzed again.

“Answer it,” Remus sighed. He indicated the phone as Lily finally tore her gaze from it to look up at him.

She shook her head, “No, it’s fine. He’s got a job to do. Want to do flip cards?”

Another buzz against the table.

“He’ll just be relentless if you don’t answer,” Remus indicated the phone again. “Trust me, I’ve tried to ignore him before.”

The phone just about went off the table with the next buzz. 

“Alright, alright,” Lily picked up the phone was an exaggerated sigh, trying to hide her obvious pleasure. She clearly failed as Remus’ face cracked in a wide, knowing grin and she was sure his shoulders were shaking. “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

Silence will be taken as agreement

Are you pretending not to be interested?

Evans, do I need to remind you why we’re doing all of this?

Im trying to study! Remus is mad. 

Sounds like you do need reminding.

Lily slammed the phone back down on the table almost as soon as she saw the final message. Her brain had about three seconds to register the picture but it was burnt into her brain. James’ stomach, shirt pulled up high enough to expose his extremely fit, hard earnt six-pack, but also a well-defined pectoral and darkly shadowed nipple. Her mouth went dry as Remus raised an eyebrow at her.

“Alright?”

Lily nodded, “Uh, yeah, yeah, fine.”

“What did he say?”

“It’s not, well, I guess, he, uh,” Lily felt heat flood through her cheeks, her neck, her entire body, as she broke out in a sweat. “The flip cards?”

Remus stared at her for a long moment before nodding. “Anatomy?”

“Great,” she smiled weakly, reaching into her bag for the cards.

“5 th Cranial Nerve?”

“Trigeminal.”

“Function of the malleus and incus?”

“Transmitting vibrations into the ear.”

“Snuff Box?”

Lily stared at Remus, “Excuse me?”

He stared back, shaking the card, “The anatomical snuff box, where is it?”

Lily tried to clear her head, get her mind out of the gutter. “The foot?”

“Hand.”

“Damn it, my turn to ask. Accessory Nerve?”

“Eleventh cranial, trapezius muscle and that one from the jaw.”

“Sternocleidomastoid.”

“That’s it. Next.”

“Part of the body that creates insulin?”

“Pancreas.”

On and on they went, quizzing each other, correcting, arguing and generally smashing their Biology syllabus so far. Lily was feeling pretty darn pleased with herself and ready for their upcoming test next week.

“That’s all of them,” she turned the last card down onto the desk as Remus got it right. “We’re awesome.”

“Indeed.”

“We’ve still got about half an hour, what do you want to study next?” Lily tided up the cards, chucking them back in their ziplock bag.

“I was going to re-read Chapter 10 on Behavioural Economics,” Remus suggested. “Maybe we could discuss it?”

“Sounds great,” Lily picked up her phone while he was distracted pulling out his textbook. Maybe James had had some luck with the admissions office in changing his class by now.

But there was no further unread messages on her phone, her screen still filled with the thirst trap photo he’d sent earlier. She pondered if it was a photo he’d taken at the time or if he just had a bank of these photos saved to send to girls at his discretion.

“You know, he’s not normally like this.”

Feeling like he’d read her mind, Lily looked up blankly, “I’m sorry?”

“James,” Remus gestured to the phone in her hand. “He doesn’t constantly text girls.”

“More of a phone call guy?” Lily felt confused. It was like he was paying her a compliment, but the words didn’t make sense.

“No, more of a, never really seemed that interested in anyone past a date or two, kind of guy. Normally he just harasses us lads all the time. We’ve been taking the mick out of him something terrible lately.”

“Oh, ” Lily couldn’t help the small grin that started to creep across her face. “So, he doesn’t send kitless photos to every girl he likes?”

“I can count on one hand all the girls I can remember him having really liked,” Remus screwed up his face before he continued. “But he’s definitely never sent them any pictures, shirtless or otherwise, that I’ve heard about. And Sirius checks his phone regularly.”

“Oh,” Lily said again. “So, Sirius found me on his phone?”

Remus shook his head, “James told us about you. At first, just talking about how he blew up the lab, you know. But then you started getting mentioned after every lab, or every time he was studying. And Peter’s birthday, he going on and on about you and your experiments the drunker he got, until we agreed to try one just to shut him up.”

“ Oh . I’m still really sorry about that.”

“ta. But that's not what I meant. It’s just new for us, is what I’m saying. To hear about a girl. He really likes you.”

“Well, that’s good,” Lily could feel the heat building back in her cheeks even as they ached from smiling. “I think I really like him. So far, at least.”

“He’s a great friend, you know? Always been there for me when I’ve needed him. Without me even having to ask. Always there for all of us It’s nice to see him this happy.”

“We’re just, it’s all, umm, it’s so, we haven’t even,” Remus busied himself opening his textbook to the right page, allowing her to be flustered in relative privacy as she tried to answer him. Eventually, she stopped dithering inside. “I’m glad.”

They settled into a comfortable silence reading the text. Lily tried not to let her thoughts stray back to what Remus had said, to the phone next to her hand, to thoughts of James in general. Particularly mentally conjuring the pictures he’d sent her. She did her best to focus on human behaviours, but it really wasn’t her fault that that led to thoughts on particular behaviours. Behaviours not appropriate for the library.

Thunk

“Really,” Remus sighed after he recovered from another slam of books on the table and subsequent jump. “Did you have to?”

“Don’t even start, Moony,” James grumbled as he slumped into the seat next to Lily. She noted with disappointment he only shot a smile her way. A touch on the shoulder wouldn’t have gone astray.

“Moony?” She tried to clear her alarmingly one-track, obsessive thoughts.

“Don’t ask,” Remus shook his head. He glared at James as he started to open his mouth, “Don’t even think about it. I’ve been wingmaning you. That can change.”

“I don’t need a wingman.”

“Don’t you?” Lily raised an eyebrow at him.

James looked startled, “Do I?”

Lily shrugged, “He was doing quite a good job.”

“I thought I was doing a good job on my own.”

“Maybe. I wouldn’t get complacent though.”

“I’m not complacent. You asked for the story.”

“She doesn’t want to hear that,” Remus interjected.

“She probably does.”

“Remember for every story you have of me, including that one, I have at least ten more.”

James paused as he considered this. “What about a picture?”

Lily tried to stop the heat rising in her cheeks, “You do send a good picture.”

“I really do.” He winked at her. “I’m sure I’ve got one from that particular event.”

“You think I don’t have any pictures of all the stupid shit you’ve done?”

“Not of that time I –“

“Yes, I do.”

“Well, not when I –“

“That one too.”

“What about –“

“Of course.”

“You weren’t even there.”

“Sirius was.”

“That traitor.”

“Is he ever anything else?”

“I don’t think I want the story this badly,” Lily put a hand up to stop the verbal ping pong. She turned toward James, her hand moving across the table towards where he sat. Was she imaging that he shifted back further in his seat, away from her?

“Your loss.”

“Prongs.”

“Really, enough,” Lily looked at Remus. “You will tell me about that nickname later though, Moony.” He went to protest but she cut him off, “Or I’ll withhold notes next time you’re out sick.”

“Oi.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would,” Lily ignored Remus’ scoff and James’ protest as she turned back to the bespectacled boy, waiting until he met her eyes. “You. What happened with the Enrolment office?”

James shook his head, “No luck.”

“What do you mean, no luck?”

“I wasn’t allowed to change labs.”  

“But the lab’s not full,” Lily protested. “It shouldn’t be an issue.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Evans,” James shrugged. “They said I couldn’t change.”

“Did you tell them you had a conflict?”

“I did.”

“And what did they say?”

“That I should have come a week earlier, when schedules could still be changed. But everything’s locked in.”

Lily hadn’t prepared herself for this situation. She felt flustered. Scrambled. “But what –“

“The only way I can get out of that lab is if I drop the class until next semester. I’d have to either take summer school or graduate later.”

Remus raised his eyebrows at his friend’s words but didn’t say anything as James watched Lily’s response.

“Oh,” she sighed.

“Yeah.”

“You can’t do that.”

“No,” James agreed. “I can’t.”

She couldn’t read his expression. It was the most blank she’d ever seen it. He met her gaze but with none of his usual mischief. His body language was closed, his hands resting loosely together on the table. There was no way to tell what he was thinking.  

“So, what –“

“So, what are you guys studying?” James asked before she could finish her sentence. Ask what they were going to do now. She was his TA. He was technically her student. Back to square one.

“Behavioural economics,” Remus’ eyes flicked between them both.  

“Sounds fascinating,” James smirked.

“You’d actually probably enjoy –“

“I’m just going to go find a book,” Lily didn’t wait for either boy to respond, pushing her chair back and making for the stacks behind her.

She headed several rows in, crossing through various sections until she was sure she was hidden from view from anyone seated in the library or in the more frequently used, more recently published shelves. She stopped abruptly, leaning back against the wall of books and heaving a large sigh.

Fuck .

He couldn’t change classes.

Neither could she.  

They were screwed.

And he didn’t seem to care.

Lily felt like she was about to either combust from wanting or collapse into a small ball of misery. And James had barely flexed a facial muscle. For all Remus’ words of affirmation, she might actually be in this alone.

“Alright, Evans?”

She opened her eyes, having not consciously closed them, to find James leaning against the end of the stack by the shoulder. His arms were crossed as he considered her. The smirk she often saw when he bested a Prewett twin in the lab ghosted across his face, but his eyes were tight.

“Peachy,” she tried to shrug.

“I know it’s not what we wanted.”

“Pretty much the opposite.”

“I don’t really know what else to do.”

“There’s nothing we can do. I need that job.”

“And I need to take that class.”

“I know,” Lily sighed.

“So, we wait,” James inclined his head at her. “Yeah?”

“If that’s what you want.”

He frowned, “Is it not what you want?”

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to wait for me. You should be allowed to have fun.”

“I don’t feel like I have -,” he went to step forward, but paused. “What do you mean, fun?”

“You know, meet other girls. Date other girls. Available girls.” She felt sick.

“Is that what you want to do?”

“No, not at all. But you should be able to. If you want.”

“Evans, what do you want?”

Lily looked at her feet rather than him, “This is complicated.”

“Only if you let it be.”

“It is complicated. You’re my student.”

“Technically.”

“We’re not even meant to be friends. I looked it up.”

“We’re not,” James argued, and Lily’s heart sank further. “Me and Remus are friends. You and Remus are friends. You and I, we’re not friends.”

“Ouch,” Lily muttered. “I get it.”

“I don’t think you do,” James stepped forward, further into the aisle now. Closer to her.

“I get that you don’t really seem that bothered by the fact we’re stuck,” she fought to keep her voice low as she waved at his body, his still crossed arms. “You don’t really seem to care.”

“Care,” James’ short laugh was humourless. “Why do you think I don’t care?”

“I don’t see you having a meltdown,” she pointed to their surroundings. “In the stacks, no less. You’re all calm and relaxed.”

“Calm?” he echoed her again, taking another step toward her. “I’m anything but calm.”

“Then you’re a better actor than I give you credit for,” she stuck her chin up in the air.

“Evans, you’re ridiculous,” he growled. “Of course I bloody care. Of course I’m not calm.”

“Then why aren’t you showing it? You’re just standing there with your arms folded.”

“I’m trying to stop myself from touching you,” he hissed. “We’re in a fucking public place, in the middle of campus, and we’re stuck, out of options, and I don’t feel for you what I feel for my dear friend Remus, so I’m trying to bloody fucking stop myself from touching you.”

“Oh,” Lily said quietly.

“And let me tell you something, Evans,” she suddenly realised he was pretty much upon her now, standing in front of her when before he’d been halfway down the passage. “It’s really not fucking easy.”

“Could have fooled me.”

The words had no sooner slipped from her mouth when she found herself pushed against the shelf. James’ arms finally moved from their restrained position. A hand found her hip, pushing her back before moving to grip the shelf next to her. The other hand found a place to prop itself near her head, caging her in. The heat from his body radiated through the minuscule gap between them. She tried to look up at him, but he’d already ducked his head to her ear.

“Still unsure?” he asked, his breath whispering over the sensitive skin on her neck.

“Ummm.” How was she meant to think now? His scent flooded her as she took a deep breath in to ground herself.

Understandably, it failed. 

Spectacularly.

James didn’t pause at her lacklustre response. “I’m not any good at not getting what I want, Evans. Have I ever told you that?”

“I don’t think –“

“And I’m really not good at having to wait for what I want.”

“Well, I –“

“And I’m really not sure I have enough self-control to not touch you, the way I want to, for a whole semester.” His eyes came to hers now, forehead brushing hers as he lingered above her. “And yet, I have to.”

Her entire body was on fire. Aflame just from the heat of his words. She could feel the imprint of his brief grasp on her hip as if his hand was still there. Her hand reached of its own accord to brush back the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. He caught her fingers in his as she went to drop her arm, and turned his head to bring his lips to the inside of her wrist. Before Lily could react he had released her and reattached his grip firmly to the shelf behind.

She wondered if she could get a tattoo of the mark where he’d kissed her. Or if that would be weird.

“I don’t think you should touch me, Evans,” his voice was strained even though his touch had been soft.

“Sorry. Guess you’re better than me at this self-control stuff, huh?”

“Marginally. But I can't be responsible for what I might do if you touch me." His eyes flicked down, dragging across her body and she watched as his tongue came out to wet his dry lips. 

She imagined his lips on her. 

Imagined his tongue on her.

Imagined what would happen if they were found out. 

Fuck .

Her head fell forward, her eyes closing as she made contact with his chest. Despite his edict not to touch her seconds earlier, the hand near her head fell to the nape of her neck, smoothing his fingers across it. It was comforting and sweet, a balm to the turmoil that churned in her gut. Her hands curled into fists at her side, aching to return the gesture.

“So, what now?” she asked quietly, still resting against him. “We just go about our lives as if this doesn’t exist?”

He shifted uneasily in front of her, “I don’t know. I’ve never be in this situation before. Wanted someone so badly. I don’t know if I can act like it doesn’t exist.”

If she hadn’t already been a puddle on the floor at his touch, she was now. His words melted her. “Same.”

“But-“

“You’d be expelled.”

“And you’d lose your job. Possibly be expelled as well.”

“Fuck.” She said it out loud this time.

“That about covers it.”

They were silent for a while, his head resting on hers, hers on his chest, his hand on her neck. Lily focused on her breathing as she tried to remember every feeling of this moment. The thud of his heart, beating in his chest. The press of his fingers, rough against her hairline. That heady scent she’d already come to recognise as his. Every sense committed to memory.

It took longer than it should have, but eventually, she lifted her head. He lifted his too, but before his hand could drop from its comforting hold, it was Lily’s turn to cover it with her own. Ignoring his sharp intake of breath, an attempt at a protest, she intertwined their fingers together at the crook of her neck. He squeezed back, delicious and gentle and so not enough before removing his hand and letting it fall to his side. She didn’t fight him.

“Remus probably thinks we died,” Lily tried to joke, a lump rising in her throat.

“I should let you get back to him,” James nodded.

They didn’t move.

“I’ll probably have to stop being his study buddy, huh? Seeing we shouldn’t be friends?” Lily felt a bit sick at the idea of removing anything that connected her with James.

“It might be too tempting for me to stop by,” James said slowly, frowning. “But I don’t think that’s fair on either of you.”

“He is one of the only sensible people I’ve met in the class,” Lily conceded. “Maybe if we just don’t tell you when we’re hanging out?”

“And you never study at my place.”

Lily nodded, wincing, “Yeah, I definitely should never come over.”

“That could be bad.”

“Very bad.”

“Definitely.”

“Yeah.”

They stood staring at each other. Lily felt winded, like she’d run a marathon.

“I’ll go first, then?” he looked pained. “I might head straight out.”

“Good idea,” Lily didn’t think she could sit next to him again. Hands might stray.

Into laps.

He took a step back, looking her up and down, then moved back further. Lily felt her body sag against the shelves, the tension of being so close to him, the spike of adrenaline dulling with the small distance he’d placed between them.

“Say goodbye to Remus for me?”

“Course,” she swallowed, straightened up. “See you in the lab tomorrow?”

A grimace marred James’ features as he clearly recalled tomorrow was Tuesday. First lab of the week. “Yeah. See you in the lab. Tomorrow.”

“Great.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”  

She bit her lip and held her breath as he took several more steps as they spoke. As he reached the end of the aisle, he gave a half-hearted wave, finally turning to leave with a resounding exhale, as if the effort to go took everything he had.

Lily understood. She couldn’t have done it.

It took her another few minutes to pull herself together and make her way back to the table where Remus still sat. She slid into her chair sheepishly and tried to ignore his curious expression.

“Sorry, that took so long. James said bye.”

Remus shrugged off her apology. “I’ll see him at home. Do I need to find a new study partner?”

“No,” she shook her head.

“Oh good. Everyone else in that class is an idiot.”

“Agreed.”

“So, what are you guys going to do?”

“Nothing. We can’t do anything.”

“But we’re still going to study together? Seems, painful. For both of you.”

“We’ll make it work. Just, don’t tell him when we’re meeting. And I can’t come to you. Ever.”

“That sounds,” he let out a breath, similar to that his friend had minutes earlier. “Sensible.”

“Yeah. Sensible. That’s us. Yay.”

“It’s just one semester, yeah?” Remus tried to cajole her.

“Don’t remind me,” she resisted the urge to let her head hit the table.  

“We could get back to the chapter?” he suggested instead, his smile kind and eyes sympathetic. “Distraction might be the best thing.”

“I’m going to have the best marks this uni has ever seen,” Lily muttered, “The amount of distraction I’m going to need.” She had the grace to look embarrassed at Remus’ snort. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he waved her off. “It’s nice to see he’s not the only one in it.”

‘Definitely not,” Lily looked up from finding the right page in her text to see Remus wasn’t looking at her, but his phone. “Something up?”

He smirked, “What’s your lab on tomorrow?”

Lily’s eyes widened, “He did not just ask you to ask me that.”

“He really did. Said he probably shouldn’t text you.”

“Oh, right,” Lily thought about the photos on her phone, that would need to be deleted. Including from the cloud. Though his face wasn’t in them, maybe she could save them elsewhere... Shame to waste such good photography.

“So, what should I tell him?”

Lily broke off her imaginings of those two photos and looked up at Remus guiltily. “Er, uh, it’s on conduction, I think.”

Remus nodded and typed a reply. When his phone buzzed again, he didn’t read it out, merely flipped the screen with a smirk.

Sparks between us not enough huh? I’ll work on that.

Lily’s head did hit the desk this time as she took in his meaning.

“I’m pretty sure that wasn’t in your plan?” Remus’ voice floated over her head.

“Definitely not.”

Fuck

She was in so much trouble.

Chapter Text

"Sorry, excuse me, coming through, sorry, so sorry, just will you, move, Jesus."

James sprinted across the courtyard, dodging aimless ambling students as they travelled at a normal pace to their next class. He tried not to push. He tried not to shove. But it was bloody hard when they all moved so slowly. 

He skidded to a stop right outside the classroom door. Straightened his clothes, ran a hand through his hair as he took a deep breath and opened the door. He found Slughorn on the other side, standing at the front of the room, clearly in the middle of explaining today's lab. 

That James was, he snuck a look at the clock, yikes , ten minutes late for. 

"Mr Potter," Slughorn bellowed in his hearty, cheery way. "We thought you weren't going to join us today, and we'd all be safe." 

"Sorry, Professor," James hastily made his way to his usual bench. "Won't happen again."

"I'm sure it won't. Looks like you will be joining in the experiment after all, Miss Evans. Try to make sure he doesn't start a fire, will you?" 

"I'll do my best, sir." 

James kept facing Slughorn as he lowered his bag and shoved it under the table. He did his best to ignore the prickles popping up along his skin as he felt Lily approach from the back of the room and join him. 

"Very good, very good," Slughorn clapped his hands. "I'm sure our lovely TA can fill you in on what you've missed, Mister Potter. Did anyone have any questions before we begin? And no, Mr Prewett, it's not a competition." 

James did turn to send a smirk at Gideon and Fabian's bench behind, where Gideon was lowering his hand in disappointment, having never even got to ask his favourite question. 

"No questions? Right, well, you've got the procedure in your text, so just let me know as you go along," Slughorn took a seat in the chair behind his desk and clicked a couple of things on his computer as everyone got to work. 

James checked the board for the correct page and pulled his lab book out, rifling through to find out what they'd be doing. Did his best to ignore the ache in his gut as he was assaulted by the light perfume he'd come to recognise all too quickly. 

"Thought you weren't coming," Lily said quietly. 

"Last class ran late," James pulled the box of materials toward him. 

"That - makes sense." 

He paused his movement as he recognised her hesitation. "Wait, did you think I was skipping on purpose?" He started setting out the various metals, glancing between the text and the box. 

"It crossed my mind." 

"I need to attend to pass this class." 

"Hence my concern." 

"I was just late." 

"Okay."

He wasn't sure if her tone was pure misery or doubt. He couldn't look at her to check and instead thrust a mash of wires and light bulbs in her direction. "Here, untangle these." 

"Sure." 

Around them, the classroom was abuzz with chatter as all the lab partners settled into setting up the experiment. Their bench was quiet as they put things together. The tension was palpable between them and James could feel the sweat from his run to class sliding down the back of his neck. 

"I'm really sorry about this." 

James almost snapped the foil he was twisting to make wire. "You're sorry?" 

"If I'd read the rules around being a TA properly, we wouldn't be in this mess."

"I'm pretty sure I'm the one who asked you for coffee." He kept his voice as low as he could, given Slughorn sat a few metres in front of them, the nosiest twins in the world even less distance behind. 

"I could have said no." 

"It's fine."

"It's not fine. It's awkward as hell. Here." 

"Yeah, alright, you might have a point. It is awkward. Thanks," James admitted with a sigh. He took the lightbulbs back from Lily, connected one to one of the wires and looked at the set up in front of him. "I think it's ready." 

"Looks good," Lily agreed. He tensed as she moved closer, leaning toward him to check the battery and foil wire connection. His eyes stayed fixed on the equipment. "Think you're ready to go." 

"You smell amazing." 

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. He almost bit his tongue trying to pull them back. Lily froze with her hand on the square of steel. 

"You did not just say that." 

If he could look at her, he was sure her face would match the red of her hair. He could just see a few wispy strands in his peripheral vision as she hissed at him. 

"Sorry." He did have the grace to feel it, at least.

She practically threw the piece of metal at him and moved back to her side of the space. "You haven't even looked at me, and you say that?" 

"It slipped out," James held up the two wire ends, one for the bulb, one for the battery. "Ready?" 

"Go ahead," Lily waited until he held both ends to the steel and the light bulb glowed. "It did not slip out." 

"It really did. It's not my fault. Don't wear that perfume." 

"It's my favourite." 

"Mine too." 

Lily growled under her breath and James felt his stomach tighten in response. His nostrils had been flaring since he'd gotten a whiff of her and his toes had curled, his body was that tense. 

This was not easy. 

He hadn't expected it to be though. The library had proved he couldn't not touch her. Not look at her without doing something stupid. 

For once in his life, he needed to not be stupid. 

"Test this one next," Lily moved another square towards him, pushing it with the tips of her fingers and retreating quickly. 

James tested it, but nothing happened. The bulb failed to light. "What was that?" 

"Bismuth."

"It's crap." 

"Also not a.."

"Conductor. Yeah, yeah," James smirked as he made a note in his lab book for the first two experiments. "Personally I like something with a bit more of a spark. Know what I mean?"

"James." The growl was more of a scold this time, but he found that the combination of his first name - that rarely fell from her lips - with the admonishing tone still did it from him. 

Shit. She might have just given him a new kink.

"Next one," he continued as if he wasn't starting to sweat all over again. He reached for the copper square before she could. "Even I know copper is a conductor." 

Sure enough, the lightbulb lit pleasingly when the two wires touched it. 

"Nice," he could feel her twist around, looking across the room even as she spoke. "Think you're a bit behind though." 

"Everyone else has a partner." James picked up the next sample, not hurrying his movements at all or missing a beat in their back and forth.

"I'm sorry, did you want me to come over there?" He could almost see her raised eyebrow in his mind, and her smirk as he shook his head. "Yeah, I didn't think so, Potter. Keep working." 

"Haven't stopped." He was onto the next metal.

"You really are quite good at this, you know." 

"That sounded like a compliment, Evans." 

"Is that so surprising?" 

"You don't want to do science as a major?" 

James shook his head. "Unfortunately no. Drawing stole my heart many years ago." 

"Do I get to see these drawings sometime?" 

"If you're lucky." James paused in his testing. He tilted his head to the side. "I could draw you."

"You'd have to look at me to do that." 

"I can't look at you." 

"And why is that again?" 

"You know why. And anyway, I don't have to." 

"Why not?" 

"I can draw you from my dreams." 

He expected outrage, another scolding. Maybe he wanted that. His new kink and all. It's not what he got though. 

"Hope they're as good as mine have been." 

Surely by now, he should know better. She always gave as good as she got. 

"Excuse me?" 

"What, you can dream of me, but I can't dream about you?" 

James felt himself start to perspire. At this rate, it would be a miracle if he didn't dehydrate before the lab was over. "I should get these finished." He indicated the metals still left in front of him. 

"You always finish in my dreams." 

Crunch

James couldn't deny being shocked as the light bulb smashed in his hand. He'd gone to adjust it just as Lily had spoken, and her words had caused his fist to close reflexively. The sound of cracking glass alerted those around him. 

"Careful, Potter." 

"Thought you were better with your hands, Captain." 

"Don't fumble the ball like that on Saturday." 

"Shove off, Prewetts," he gritted his teeth, not even turning around to where he knew the twit twins were smirking behind him. He opened his fist, letting the splintered glass fall down onto his lab book. 

"Oops," he heard Lily murmur next to him. He could feel her watching him, hovering between wanting to offer help and trying not to make things worse. "My bad, I think."

"What the fuck, Evans?" Even as he growled he tried to focus on cleaning up the light bulb shards, sweeping them toward the bin at the end of the bench. "You can't say shit like that." 

"Like you haven't been doing the same?" 

He had to admit, she had a point. It wasn't her fault she didn't break things when he tried to tease and get a rise out of her. Not wanting to admit it though, James decided to focus on the stinging in his palm, where a sliver of glass had imbeded. Try as he might, his large fingers couldn't get a grasp on it. 

"Here," Lily moved before he could say anything to stop her. She gently took his palm in her own, holding it carefully but firmly as she used her other hand to probe the area. 

"Don't." 

"James," her tone was no nonsense. But, as always, it was the use of his first name l that got him to listen. His eyes flicked up to her face, taking her in for the first time that day. 

Lily's eyes were trained on his palm, narrowed as she tried to see the edge of the tiny piece of glass. Her lashes were long and dark, curled by the mascara he'd never seen her without. He counted endless freckles across her cheeks and admired her lips, remembering with total clarity the delicious feel of them on his own. 

Without thinking, because he could never think around her, he reached up to brush loose strands back from her eyes. His fingers trailed down her neck after tucking the hair behind her ears. He watched as her eyes closed at his touch, and her expression changed from concern and concentration to something much closer to peace. 

"Thanks," she whispered when she returned to nursing his hand. She met his gaze momentarily, and where he'd expected to see admonishment for the touch, there was only warmth. 

"Of course." He wanted to reach out again. Wanted to use the hand that had returned to his lap to touch her shoulder, her waist. Wanted to run a thumb over the lip she'd sunk her teeth into as she focused. 

"Got it." Before he could do any of those things, there was a sharp pinch and she let him go, holding up the tiniest of slivers for him to see. 

"You're amazing." 

"I try." Lily's cheeks showed the lightest of blushes as she caught his eye again. This time, the contact didn't break. James wasn't sure what she saw in his eyes, from her place back on her side of the bench. Whatever it was made the blush deepen and her hands curled into fists at her sides. 

What he felt was hunger.  

An ache in his gut that wouldn't go away. Lust and wanting like he hadn't experienced before. A craving for the smell of her, the taste of her, that he wasn't sure would ever be satisfied, even when, months from now, he could have her. A need to hold her close, have her near him. A desire to make her smile, hear her laugh. 

It floored him regularly. 

Was it just that she was forbidden fruit, as it were? Off limits in the worst, unchallengeable kind of way? Would it be like this if the night on the dance floor hadn't ended outside the sweaty, heaving uni bar, but in his flat, in his bed, both of them saited, hopefully her more than once? 

He worried that it wouldn't, that it was just sex and desire, wrapped in an unattainable package. 

He worried even more that it would, that he'd never recover if they didn't get this right, if he lost her, and never felt this way again. 

"About five minutes left, everyone. You should be on your last few samples now." 

James jolted for his musing, tearing his eyes from Lily's. He looked at Professor Slughorn, to the clock, and down at this lab book. "Shit." He reached for a new lightbulb, wiring it up. 

"Don't stress, you can get it done," he felt Lily move closer as she encouraged him, her arm brushing his. 

"There's still a few to do," James shook his head as he twisted the foil deftly. "I got distracted." 

"Seeing as how that was my fault, how about I help fix it. You test, I'll line them up, and write the result." She pulled the lab book toward her, leaving no room for argument. "Here, this is Tungsten." 

She passed him the square, and when James touched the foil wires to it, the new light bulb failed to light. "Insulator." 

"Correct." She took the square back and gave him another, gold this time. 

A pleasing glow. "Conductor."

"Perfect." 

Working in partnership, they quickly finished testing the materials, and got everything done before the class was called to a close. 

James looked over at Lily as they packed up, "We work well as a team."

"Yeah," she smiled as she took the box from him. "We do." 

He tried not to watch her walk away as she went to collect the boxes from the other tables, smiling and laughing with his classmates, or offering advice for those who had struggled. He was sure some just wanted an excuse to talk to her, she had a way of making chemistry seem so interesting. 

"Not bad, Potter. Just one broken light bulb, you didn't even electrocute us all." 

He turned back to see Gideon wiggling his eyebrows at him. 

"Yeah, maybe we'll be able to come to class soon without fearing for our lives," Fabian hooted next to him. 

"Very funny guys," James ran a hand through his hair as he smirked. "About as funny as starting next training with sprint drills and burpees, I guess." 

Their eyes widened in unison, James’s fitness drills being a thing of nightmares for his team. It would have been comical on any of his team mates, but even more so with two identical faces. 

"Just kidding, Captain." 

"It's a compliment, Cap. We're really proud of you." 

"You're practically Einstein now. 

"A real Thomas Edison, if you will."

"Shove off, the both of you," James rolled his eyes. "Before I add suicides as well." 

"Righto, Captain." 

"Whatever you say, Potter."

"But hey, we'll see you at trivia, right?"

"Yeah, you gotta come. Our suite will smash yours." 

"Think Sirius already booked us a table," James nodded. "And found us some ring-ins,  I hear. You guys won't stand a chance." 

The two grinned, their expressions gloating and gleeful, "Nah, we've got Molly and her boyfriend coming too. He knows about all kinds of random stuff." 

"He's gotta be good for something, anyway, if he's going to hang out with our Mol." 

The boys farewelled James and headed for the door. He grinned, already plotting how good it would feel to trounce the smug gits, as he packed his own bag. 

"Just out of curiosity, what trivia is this?" 

Lily had returned to the bench from where she'd been conversing with Slughorn. She pulled her own bag from under the bench and chucking her things in carelessly. 

"Broomsticks trivia night, it's on every Wednesday." 

"Shit." 

He looked up, which was easier now he'd touched her today. It was always easier once he'd gotten to touch her. She was wincing. 

"You have something against trivia?" 

She shook her head. "The opposite." 

"Oh," James chucked his bag over his shoulder. Suddenly he felt clarity. "Oh. Are you going?" 

"Yeah." 

"That's, okay," James thought fast. How could he beat the Prewett twins if he was distracted by being in the same room as her? "We'll be sitting far apart most likely, yeah? It'll be fine." 

Lily shook her head again, looking even more miserable. "That might be quite hard. I think we're on the same table." 

"What! Why?" 

"Marlene," she sighed. "Sirius invited her, and told her to bring her smartest friend."

"Well, obviously that's you," James motioned his head toward the door and they both started to move toward it. "Surprised Remus didn't suggest it." 

"He was probably threatened." 

"Obviously. We don't give him much competition in that department." 

"Or any department, really." 

"You wound me, Evans." 

"You'll cope," she rolled her eyes, before looking pained. "I didn't think to check. I thought you had practise on Wednesdays." 

"Only in preseason. We switched to Mondays, Thursdays for the regular season, games on Saturdays." 

"Oh, right," Lily frowned. "You didn't say you'd started games." 

"I didn't think you'd be interested? Girls often aren't." 

"I like rugby. Used to go with my dad. Even followed the Lions tour to New Zealand once in high school with him." 

"Oh." 

"Sexiest much?" 

"Oh, yeah, you totally called me out, alright. Just your average sexiest pig," James looked over at her in wonder. "You'd want to come to my game?" 

"I mean, the twins will be there too, right?" she giggled as he gave a sound of outrage. "Yes, James. I'd love to come to a game." 

Christ, he'd probably drop the ball and kick it in the wrong direction. But damn, if he didn't want to know she was there on the sidelines. 

His pleased smile must have been a bit too bright, because her tone changed to scolding. "Don't look like that."

"Can't help it." 

"Well, try. And what are we going to do about tomorrow?" 

"Would it get you in trouble?" 

"I don't think so. Not when we have connections outside of the lab. Marlene and Sirius for example. And Remus and I are in the same class." 

James sighed. "I hate to say it then, but we really could use your help. Especially if Arthur's coming. He's a full trivia genius." 

"You haven't seen me and Marlene play Trivial Pursuit." 

"Dangerous?" 

"We have to hide the knives. It's brutal." 

He laughed despite his mix of excitement and dread at the idea of seeing her outside of class. "Well, I'll make sure there isn't anything sharp. But I think we need you." 

"And us?" She looked up at him, lip back between her teeth. 

Oh, how he longed to be that lip. 

"Opposite sides of the table," he rasped. "Or no, not opposite. Then I'll be able to see you." 

"Is that bad?" 

"Only in the worst, most agonising way. I only have to look at you to want you, Evans." 

"Likewise," she stopped at the divide in the path that would lead toward her home. He wished he could go with her. "So, two seats between us at all times then?"

"Probably safest." 

"Great." 

"Great." 

They stood staring at each other, several feet apart. James didn't know what she was thinking, but he was trying to drink in every inch of her, commit her to memory even though he now knew he’d see her again tomorrow night. 

"Alright, anyone watching us is going to think we're nuts. Bye, Potter." 

"Bye, Lily." 

She'd started to walk away, but turned at the sound of her name. A shy yet teasing smile crossed her face as she walked backwards. 

"Bye James." 

Chapter Text

"Do I look alright?" 

Lily looked over at Marlene, flicking her eyes up and down the other girl's outfit. "You look great, why?" 

Marlene smoothed her dress over her tights. "I just want to look good tonight." 

"I thought you two were just shagging? That it wasn't really going anywhere." 

"It is just shagging," Marlene stuck her nose up in the air as they headed down the steps of Gryffindor Tower, Lily having met her at the entrance. "But I get a better shag if I look hot."

"Fair enough. You are definitely looking hot. Great shags await." 

"Excellent," Marlene gave Lily her own once over. "You look really nice too." 

"Thanks," Lily ran a hand through her day one, freshly washed hair. "Though I should be doing the opposite of you, really." 

"Repelling shags?" 

"Pretty much." 

"If that boy fancies you in a lab coat, he's probably going to fancy you in just about anything. Unless it's just a lab coat fetish. But that could be hot, I guess." 

"Marlene, for the love of God, I do not wear a lab coat to class," Lily shook her head at her friend.

"Maybe you should. He might like it." 

"Marlene McKinnon."

"Geez, okay, quit hitting me. I'll stop." 

"Thank you."

"Well, if it's not the lab coat, what's the problem?" 

"You haven't seen us around each other. I can't explain it," Lily's hands waved about herself and the space in front of her. "It's - it's a lot. I don’t need to tempt fate." 

"Tempt fate or tempt him?" Marlene wiggled her eyebrows. 

"Neither. Both. I don't want to tempt anyone." 

"Then you should have worn something else. You are sickeningly gorgeous, as always." 

"Marlene." 

"No, seriously. If Sirius wasn't his best friend, I'd be worried he'd jump ship." 

"Stop it," Lily looked down at her outfit. It had been an agonising decision working out what to wear. More than what pub trivia should require. Trying to ride a fine line of making sure she didn't repulse him, but didn’t want to torture the man either.

"He’s not going to be able to keep his hands off you." 

"He has too."

"Yeah, yeah," Marlene waved away Lily's fears and insecurities with ease. "He'll do his best, I'm sure. Put in an admirable effort. I'm just glad their suite is a different floor to mine so I didn't have the same problem with Sirius." 

"It's still probably a little unethical." 

"Nah, different floors, different RAs. We're grand," Marlene paused with her hand on the door to the pub. "You ready?" 

Lily nodded, taking a deep, settling breath. Warriors going into battle had nothing on her. "Let's do this." 

They entered the brightly lit, noisy room. It was a cheery place and full of students eager for a night of trivia, drinks and bar snacks. Most of the tables were already full, and the projector screen displayed the topics for the evening. 

Lily helped Marlene to scan the crowd. "I see Remus." She waved back at her study partner and began leading the way across the floor. 

They arrived at a booth style table, occupied by three boys. Lily greeted Remus with a cheery hello before looking expectantly at the dark haired man sitting opposite him. 

"You must be Sirius," she said promptly when Marlene made no move to introduce her, too busy making eyes at him before they'd even sat down. "Heard a lot about you."

"You must be Lily Evans. I can't stop hearing about you," he raised his eyebrows at her. "More than I could ever want to." 

Not needing to ask who he meant, Lily rose to the challenge in his eyes. "At least you weren't lied to, I guess." 

He cocked his head like her old Scottish deerhound, "Sorry?" 

"Marlene said you were hot." 

"She said you were smart." 

"She wasn't wrong." 

"And yet, you're into my daft brother," Sirius shook his head. 

"I'm superficial. And he's good looking. Well groomed. Unlike some people who clearly don't care." 

"That ripped jacket cost him half my car’s worth," Remus interjected. 

"Really?" Lily's eyes flicked over Sirius again. "So it's a pretentious choice then is it?" 

"What is?"

"Looking like a bum," Marlene shifted next to Lily as she retorted, but she could see from her friend's smirk she wasn't mad. 

"What's going on?" A blaze of heat behind her, a light touch on the small of her back caused Lily to feel several things at once. Her heart rate increased, her breath caught, her spine stiffened. 

It was really quite unfair how he could cause that reaction with a single touch. 

"Introductions." 

"Exerting dominance." 

James snorted as Sirius's jaw dropped at Lily's words. Gone was the benign smile he'd crafted when he'd seen James approach, that should have tipped her off if she hadn't been busy heckling. 

"Good to see you've met my best friend. Don't judge me, he wasn't always a prat. And when I realised he was, it was too late to shake him." 

"Thought he was your brother?" 

"In every way except by blood," James shook his head sadly, though his eyes twinkled. "Hi." 

Lily smiled despite herself as she met his eyes properly. "Hi." 

"Oh, God, you're right. They really are sickening." Lily turned back to the table to see that Sirius had directed this at Remus, as Marlene slid into the booth next to him. 

"Excuse me?" She glared at her study partner as she moved to sit with him. "You said what? Last time I lend you my best lecture notes." 

Remus held his hands up, "I did not say sickening."

"Nauseating," the final guy at the table spoke up. "You said they were nauseating." 

"Remus!" 

"Well that's uncalled for," James waved his hands at Marlene and Sirius. "Scoot round, guys." 

"You used me as a conduit for your flirty messages," Remus pointed out. "I could do without." 

"It was one message, you big baby." Lily pushed him with her shoulder.

"And yet I remain scarred for life." 

"Saucy was it?" Sirius wiggled his eyebrows. "Do I need to start checking your phone as well, Moony?"

"Moony?" Marlene's ears perked. "Why-"

"Don't bother," Lily cut her off. "They won't tell you."

"I can tell you," the final guy spoke again. "I'm Peter, by the way." 

"Nice to meet you."

"Yes, by all means, our good chap, go on." 

"Well, this one time when we were-" 

"That's enough. We're meant to be making fun of James and Lily, not me," Remus rubbed at his eyes wearily. "And Sirius, if I find you going through my phone I will cut off your hair in your sleep."

Sirius gasped in outrage. 

"It's alright," Lily told him in a calming voice, "A haircut would do you wonders." 

The words seemed to further aggravate him, as she had intended. Sirius began to open his mouth, his eyes flicking up and down her. 

"What?" She asked with a small smile. "Trying to find something to attack? My hair's perfect." 

Sirius couldn't have looked more disgruntled as he sat back in his seat. "I'll find something." 

"Stay out of my phone, too, while we're at it. You're always telling mum everything. You're like her bloody spy."

"She pays well." 

"And scoot down, would you." James ignored him and nudged at Marlene. "Hi, Marlene, nice to see you again. With clothes on, too. Lovely." 

"You've seen her without clothes?" Lily's eyebrows hit the roof as her friend blushed. 

"Just for that, you can go sit over there," Marlene nodded James in Lily's direction and the empty space next to her. 

"I can't do that."

"Marlene." 

James' tone had a note of desperation, Lily's, a warning. Both caused their two best mates to grin. 

"Off you go. Next time, you should think more wisely about teasing people you need on your side. Have fun resisting each other," Sirius waved his hand, shooing James. 

Lily caught his pained expression and shrugged at him, trying to convey that he should just sit down. She had a feeling the others would keep going, getting more and more enjoyment out of their situation if they resisted. They really should have known better than think their friends wouldn't take the mick about this. 

"Well, while I'm up, I'll get some drinks. Not that you lot deserve it," he glared at his mates, who smiled winningly back. "Marlene, Evans, what can I get you?" 

"I'll come," Lily jumped up before he could stop her, though his face showed his surprise. "Red or white, Mars?" 

"White." 

With a nod, she motioned for James to lead the way. They weaved around crowded tables, chairs blocking the path between them, boisterous students and patrons filling the seats. Some huddled over team sheets, selecting double points rounds and discussing strategy. Others had already spilt beer on theirs and were discussing the finer points of team name selection. James was easy to follow, his large frame cutting through, and she got to admire his broad shoulders and back as they went.

The bar was three deep as everyone tried to get a round in before the quiz started in earnest. Lily stopped behind James as he snuck into a small gap near the bar. She raised onto her toes to look over this shoulder.

"Here," he twisted, reached behind to place a hand on her waist and guide her in front of him. His hand dropped as soon as she was in position, but it hardly mattered when her back was brushing against his chest. The heat of him warmed her tense muscles, helping relax her shoulders back and down. She released the breath she hadn't realised she held. 

Moments ago he'd wound her as tight as a bowstring. Now she was melted like chocolate. 

When would she stop reacting to his mere presence?

She kind of hoped the answer was never.

"Excuse you," she said, tilting her head back to look at him over her shoulder. "You touched my person." 

"Excuse you," James leant forward, his lips finding their way close to her ear. "As if you didn't love it." 

"Not the point," she stuck him with a glare as best she could from the angle. 

"Won't happen again." 

She snorted at the insincerity in his tone. "Uhuh." 

"Scout's honour, Evans." 

"Were you ever even a scout?" 

"For about two seconds," she could hear his laughter. "Before Sirius and I got kicked out." 

"What'd you do?"

"Excuse you, we were innocent." 

"Innocent of what, exactly?"

"Burning down a tree." 

"I'm going to need more than that, counsellor." 

"We were trying to smoke out a rabbit." 

"Did it work?" 

"Not at all. Rabbit bolted long before the tree caught fire." 

"Bugger." 

"Yeah, Remus was pleased though." 

"How come?"

"Rabbit kept eating the vege garden he was working on for his scout badge. Fancied it his nemesis."

"A rabbit was his nemesis?"

"Yup. Sirius kept calling it his furry little problem."

"I bet he did."

"The rabbit never came back though. So he was happy." 

"I bet."

"It was an act of true friendship." 

"Of course."

"Earned our fire badge for that one too, before they kicked us out." 

"Not really?!" she actually twisted around to look at him, she was that incredulous. 

James' smile was broad and his eyes sparkled behind his glasses. "Really. The Fire Marshall said it was a really well made fire."

"He did," Lily raised an eyebrow. 

James nodded, but his smile went a little sheepish as he ran a hand through his hair, "Yeah. Well, eventually. After mum made us go down to the station and apologise for making them send three trucks to put out the tree." 

"And how old were you two?" 

"Oh, this was just last year." 

Lily was cut off from her laughter as she jumped back in alarm. The two guys in front of her at the bar had turned, armed full of brimming pints that sloshed at the edges. Being so close to him already, she didn't have to move far to hit James's solid chest behind her. She would have lost her balance if not for the arm that flew to steady her, his palm flat against her stomach, fingers splayed across the thin linen fabric of her top. His fingertips dragged against the underlying skin as he put her right and let go. 

"Shit, sorry," the guy closest to her grinned. 

"No worries," Lily managed to say, feeling a bit breathless. 

The stranger's eyebrows lifted as he took her in, eyes flicking up and down her body appreciatively. They stopped when they came back up to her face and were caught by something over her shoulder. His smile dropped and he muttered another apology before moving past them. 

Lily moved up to the bar, into the space the guy had left behind. "You scared him." 

James lent a hand against the bar next to her, but was still positioned too much behind Lily to see his face. "Did not." 

"What did you do?" 

"Nothing."

"He was just checking me out." 

"He can fuck off." 

"Sounds like you scared him. You shouldn't have," Lily stepped up into the low rail attached to the bottom of the bar to boost herself up and make eye contact with the bartender. 

She was caged in on both sides when James's hand landed on the other side of her. "Did you want him?" His voice was pure gravel. 

Lily shook her head even as a shiver went up her spine. "Not at all. That's why you didn't need to." The urge to press back into him, until his body fitted around hers the way she dreamed it would, was overwhelming. 

"I had to."

The bartender finally made his way down to her, providing a necessary distraction before she did something stupid. “Two sav’s please.” 

“And four pints," James had moved, dropping the hand that caged her to place his order as well.

"Ready to get squashed, Captain?" 

Lily turned toward the new voice. Gideon stood at James's other side, causing him to turn his back to her to answer the newcomer. 

"Nah, mate, you guys are going down tonight. The Marauders have brought their own secret weapons." 

Lily smiled as Gideon looked at her properly over James' shoulder and blanched. "No fair, Potter. You can't just bring the TA. Unfair advantage." 

"Like I don't know Arthur's a PhD student, while we're all on bachelors degrees. Including Evans." 

"How'd he rope you into this, Lily? You should be on our team. You'll fit right in with The Ginger Ninjas," he waved to a table behind him where Lily could see three other ginger-haired people. 

"As tempting as that is, Gideon, my mate's dating his mate. Or shagging. I'm not sure really, what's going on," James had moved back off the bar so they could all see each other. She tilted her head in his direction now. "Do you know?" 

She hadn't missed how his pupils had dilated when she’d mentioned shagging, but he recovered well. He shook his head. "Not a clue. But he doesn't normally dress up so much for trivia." 

"That's him dressed up?" Lily tried to hold back a laugh. 

Gideon turned away to search around the bar and must have spotted their booth. "He does look more kempt than usual, that's true. Your mate's in the green?" When Lily nodded he continued, "She could aim higher."

"I agree." 

"Fuck off Prewett," James shot her a scandalised glance. "Sirius is hot." 

"He's hot, yeah. But he dresses like a bum." 

James shrugged, "He doesn't want people to think he cares." 

Lily scoffed, "About personal hygiene?" 

Gideon snorted, "Are you sure you don't want to join our table, Lily? I’m sure you’d have more fun with us.” 

“Very kind, but Marlene would have my head,” the bartender was back with their drinks and Lily pulled her phone out to open the pay app. Because she could even unlock it, James made a grunting sound and pushed her hand down, before passing over his card. 

“I had it.” 

“As if we call you in and then make you pay.” 

“But -” 

“It was Sirius’ card, if that makes you feel better. He may look destitute but he’s loaded. Wealthy uncle died and left him everything.” 

Lily closed her mouth and considered. She nodded, “Yeah, that’ll do.” 

“Great,” James motioned for her to pick up the two glasses of wine and gathered the four beer mug handles in his hands. His large hands, she couldn’t help noting. “Let’s get back. Prewett, best of luck.” 

“You’ll need it more than me, Potter,” Gideon shook his head at his rugby captain before turning his attention back to Lily. “You could still join us. I can taste victory already.” 

“Thanks, Gideon, really,” she gave her most winning smile, to soften the blow of what’s to come. “But we have classes together, remember?”

“So?” Gideon looked puzzled.

“So, between you and Fabian, I know there really isn’t anything to compete against. Just try not to get in the way of the others, yeah? Wouldn’t want it to be a landslide victory. Where’s the fun in that?”

Before he could protest, argue, or defend himself in any way, Lily slipped away from the bar and made her way back to the booth. James was passing out drinks as she arrived, having slid into Lily’s previous seat, leaving the end open for her.  She ignored the urge to sit next to him, and instead nudged Marlene’s shoulder with her hip. 

“Shuffle down, or I’m drinking both.” 

Marlene looked up at her, considering the request. It was obvious she wanted to make Lily sweat. 

“Let me sit down, and I’ll consider buying us chips for the half time.” 

Sirius, who was of course listening, lit up like a Christmas tree at her offer, and wrapped both arms around Marlene, pulling her along the bench and almost into his lap. Marlene squealed but from the way her hands fell under the table, onto his thigh, Lily was pretty convinced she was completely happy with the outcome. 

“Thank you,” Lily said dryly as she sat down next to her friend. 

Marlene took the offered vino with the thirst of one who had come from the Sahara. “My saviour.” 

“I’ve been called worse,” Lily cheersed her friend before they both took a sip. “Right, so what’s the go?” 

“We've double points'd Magic School Bus, Carmen Sandiego and Putin's Book Club rounds. There's also Jack of all Trades, Porn or Prawn, What's in my mouth?, and Boot and Glove." 

"Do I even want to know?" Lily screwed her face up. Despite her best efforts, her gaze fell directly across the table. 

James laughed at her confusion, "Probably not. It's more fun that way." 

"Just tell me what we've bet ourselves on at least," Marlene looked around at the boys. "What's the strategy?" 

"We've got Remus and Lily on Magic School Bus, that's science. Peter on Geography and I'm the Russian lit expert," Sirius nodded at everyone in turn before sitting back smugly. 

"Of course you are," Lily held back her mirth. "How bloody fitting."

"Hey, don't knock it. Anyone can cover science. Not everyone knows their Tolstoys from their Pushkins." 

"I mean your mate's the one that blew up the lab and your kitchen, so I wouldn't be pointing fingers." 

"You're the one who kis-" Sirius was cut off as Marlene's hand slapped across his mouth. He blinked owlishly as she glared at him. 

"Thank you, Marlene," Remus sighed. "We did speak to him about this, but he doesn't take being heckled well." 

"He gets quite sensitive really," Peter grinned widely as he watched Sirius try to escape out of Marlene's grasp. 

"You'd think he'd have learnt by now," James shook his head. "For God's sake, Pads, just agree to behave and let us at least look normal for the start of the quiz." 

Sirius reluctantly nodded, though his eyes were narrowed. "This is so unfair," he whined as soon as he could. 

"I know, mate," James said consolingly. "But save it for private, yeah?" 

"I've got so much material here," he motioned between James and Lily. "And no one will ever hear it." 

"How awful for you," Lily's sarcasm probably wasn't as believable as she pretended it was. "Is it always all about him?" She forced herself to look at Remus as she said this. 

"Unfortunately." 

"It's my mum's fault. She created a monster when she let him move in," Lily's focus was pulled back to James. She found him staring at her with clear appreciation and tried not to blush. 

"Favourite child, was he?" 

"Definitely. Never got in trouble. Forever blaming shit on me." 

"It's always the good looking ones."

"I take offense to that," James's eyes twinkled despite her insult, making her feel a bit light headed. 

"I mean, it's all he's got going for him. You've got other things. And you dress better. Much less homeless."

"Thanks." 

"You're most welcome."

"How come you guys can flirt and I can't even mock anyone," Sirius whined, causing Marlene to pat his arm consolingly. 

"There, there, Pads," James grinned. "At least she said you were good looking." 

"And homeless," Lily chipped in. "I also said he looks homeless."

Sirius crossed his arms, "Just you wait. When I smash that round and win us the bar tab, you'll all eat your hats." 

"You mean, our ushankas," Lily supplied helpfully. "The Russian expert should know that."

She was rewarded with the filthiest look she'd ever seen as the rest of the table burst into laughter. 

"As much as I could listen to Sirius get shut down all night, and I really would like that, I think we're on," Peter pointed toward where a girl holding a microphone was jumping onto the bar with a grace that Lily felt instantly jealous of. Her pink hair was another enviable quality. 

"Who, is that?" she asked, looking around the booth.

"Tonks," Remus supplied, sounding half choked. 

"Moony fancies her," Peter grinned wickedly as his friend blushed. 

"I do not!" 

"You should quit staring at her then." 

"Yeah, Moony, it's weird to stare," James didn't take his eyes off Lily as he spoke. 

She shook her head at his smirk, but both she and Remus were prevented from responding as the host began to speak. 

"Good evening, everyone. Welcome to Broomsticks Battle Royale, our weekly pub trivia competition. I'm your host, Tonks, and I can see we've got some regulars along with some new faces, so let me explain the rules." 

"Got your game face on, Evans?" James grinned at her from across the table. 

"Always, Potter," Lily cocked her head to the side. "Funny though, I didn't hear them name a round for you. You're not the weak link are you?" 

"I'm the all-rounder. I would be sports, but the Prewett’s always pick that for their double rounds, so it just doesn't pay." 

"So you hide behind the rest," Lily nodded, 

James tutted, "Just you wait, Evans. You'll be eating your words." 

What she ate was chips actually. With some of the best aioli of her life. But food aside, Lily was impressed with James. For the reason he'd intended but also others. Not only did he live up to his all rounder title, contributing to scores in most rounds, and almost single handedly got a perfect score in sports, but he was also incredibly kind and giving. He often waited to see if someone else could provide an answer first, especially Peter who seemed the quietest of the bunch. If someone suggested something he knew to be incorrect, he was gracious and respectful in giving the correct one. 

As if she needed to be amazed by him any more.

As if she needed to be attracted to him even more than she already, undeniably was. 

And that was the kicker, wasn't it? They'd had some chats sure, in labs and their two impromptu dates. But they hadn't really got to know each other that well yet. It was much easier to write off physical attraction and sexual tension as pure body chemistry, and attempt to deny it. 

Sitting opposite someone you genuinely admired to be a good person and pretending you didn't have changes in your sympathetic nervous system and hormone fluctuations? 

That was much harder. 

Didn’t stop her from trying though. 

Lily tried to focus on banter with Sirius to distract herself. He was much more pliable and much less of sulk once she'd brought several baskets of chips for the team. Still a bit put out he couldn't outwardly make fun of the situation his best mate found himself in, but he did his best. 

She commiserated with Remus on his poor choice in mates. Assured him repeatedly she didn't judge him for it. Competed to answer the science questions before he could. They made plans for future study dates, at the library of course, despite Sirius's helpful suggestions and repeated offerings of their flat. 

Peter was even more fun to crack. He had a talent for geography, but not much else in terms of the trivia. His sense of humour was quick and biting though, and if you didn't keep up it was easy to miss the beauty of it. They laughed together each time Remus passed an answer sheet to Tonks, and he blushed when their fingers touched. 

"Would you two quit that," the red cheeked Remus hissed as they fell about laughing after Porn or Prawn, a pictorial round where they had to determine if the over zoomed image was part of an adult film actor or part of a prawn. "She's going to think we're laughing at her." 

"Nah, she's too confident for that, Moony," Peter wiped tears from his eyes. "She knows we're laughing at you." 

"She obviously fancies you back, Remus," Lily waved to where Tonks kept looking back at their table as she collected sheets. "Ask her out." 

He shook his head, "She wouldn't be interested." 

"And why not?" 

"She's too good for me. I mean, look at her." 

"Incredibly hot," Marlene agreed. "But so are you, Rem." 

She hadn't thought it possible, but Lily delighted as Remus went even redder. "Yeah, Remus. You're rugged and handsome. I mean, not pretty like the Disney Princes over here," she motioned at James and Sirius, "But you've got this animal magnetism about you. She's totally into it." 

"I feel insulted yet complimented at the same time," Sirius sounded extremely confused. 

"I mean, you're probably more of an Abu, Sirius, if I really think about it. But he was handsome in his own way." 

It took quite a few moments, and Peter's impression of the monkey from Aladdin for Sirius to understand the depth of her insult, but his face made it all the more entertaining for the rest when he did. 

Marlene had kept James occupied in conversation throughout and for that Lily was grateful. If they weren't caught in conversation with their friends, it was too easy, too tempting, to fall back into their wonderful, mesmerising banter between rounds. 

"Stop looking at him," Marlene hissed in her ear as they waited for the last round of points to be tallied. 

"I'm not." 

"You're not even blinking." 

"I literally just blinked. And I was looking at Remus. See, he's just waiting for Tonks." 

The entire table held their breath as the host jumped back on the bar to announce the results. 

"Well, in a Broomstick's first, we have a tie!" She announced. "Congratulations to the Marauders and the Ginger Ninjas, both on 84 points each!" 

A chorus of cheers and boos filled the pub, much to Lily's surprise. She was even more taken back when she realised the boos were coming from her own table.

"We don't want a draw," Sirius cried. 

"Yeah, we're not sharing a bar tab with them!" Fabian yelled back across the room. 

"We thought you might say that," Tonks grinned. She tossed a ping pong ball in one hand, catching it easily and holding it between two fingers. "So we're going to have a tie breaker." 

The entire room was united in their chorus of cheers and applause this time. 

"It'll go like this," Tonk walked along the bar, turning back and forth to address her audience. "Each team will select two players. The players will take turns tossing a ping pong into a cup on the bar. First team to get five balls into their cup, wins." 

"Lily," Marlene said immediately. "Lily should do it." 

James raised an eyebrow at both girls, "Are we forgetting who the rugby Captain is here?"

"I'm sure you’re just swell, dear, but Lily has an arm on her like I've never seen " Marlene insisted. "She's never lost beer pong. Never." 

"Surprised, Potter?" Lily tried not to look too smug as he appraised her with this new information. 

"Delightedly so," he nodded. "Right, well am I going with her, lads, or would one of you like the chance to be a hero?"

Sirius held up his hands, while the others shook their heads. 

"We're not a match for your aim, Prongs." 

"Win us that tab, mate." 

James and Lily slid from the table to head back to the bar. 

"You know this is a competition between us as much as it is against them, right?" Lily muttered to James as they wove back through the tables. 

"You are so on, Evans. There wasn't a sport I didn't play in high school. My hand eye coordination is exceptional." 

"I didn't play any. Guess all my talents are just natural."

It was no surprise that the Prewett twins joined them at the bar. Gideon wiggled his eyebrows at Lily as they lined up in front of the cup Tonks had placed at its centre. 

"Should have joined our team when you had the chance, Lily." 

"How humiliating it'll be for you, boys, to lose like this in front of the whole pub," she quipped back. 

"Alright, you'll each take a turn, alternating teams, alternating partners. Got it?" 

"Ladies first," Fabian indicated with a flourish for Lily to take the first ball from the bucket. 

"You've got this, Evans," James encouraged with a grin. She could hear her table and many others hollowing and heckling in the background as she lined herself up. 

The distance was about three metres, from the yellow tape Tonks had stuck to the floor, to the red plastic cup on the bar. It was about ping pong table distance, and Lily felt confident. 

That was confidence was well deserved when her ball flew directly into the cup. 

"Yes!" James held his hand up for a high five, the smack of it nearly blocking out the groans and sighs from the boys behind them. "Nice one."

"Told you I could do this." 

"I never doubted it." Lily turned to stand next to James as Gideon moved to take his turn.

He also sunk it easily, as did James and Fabian after him. For the next round, Tonks made them all stand on their left foot. Gideon was the first to miss, but so did James. 

"Called it at the start," Lily tutted. "Weak link." 

James hung his head in shame as Fabian evened the teams to three each. "I'll take my punishment later if it's all the same time to you." 

Lily promptly missed her next shot by a foot. 

"You did that on purpose," she hissed, her cheeks burning as she turned back to him. 

"Did what on purpose?" James shrugged, the picture of innocence. "I meant ridicule me or make me buy everyone a drink. What were you thinking of?" 

Several scenarios had run through Lily's head as she'd tried to make her throw. None of them involving something that innocent. None of them involving clothes, if she was being honest. 

Gideon made his shot again and Lily forced herself to focus. They were now down 4-3, and on the verge of losing. 

"Come on, Potter," she encouraged instead of answering him. "You got this." 

"I don't know about that, looks like he's going to miss," Gideon snickered. 

"He sure does. Feeling the pressure, Captain?" Fabian heckled. 

"Not a bit," James smirked as his ball sailed into the cup. 

"And that's four all," Tonks commentated. "Next unchallenged shot wins!" 

It was tense. The room was a contrast, either dead silent as a player lined up or a chorus of groans as they missed. And they all did miss. A full round of failed attempts. Nerves were rife. 

It wasn't just about the bar tab anymore. 

Pride was a stake. 

"Sorry, Evans," James came back from his turn and stood behind her to watch Fabian. "Thought I had that." 

"Never mind, Potter. We all miss sometimes." 

"As long as you know I'm better with my hands at other things," he murmured quietly in her ear. His hands fell to her shoulders, massaging them lightly as if she was a prize boxer, about to enter the ring. "You'll have to be our hero."

"That meant to be helping?" 

"Is it not?" 

"Not in the way you think," Lily tried to control her reaction. It would probably be embarrassing if she moaned in the middle of the pub.

His hands came to a stop, resting against her as they watched Fabian miss again. He gave her a gentle push. "Good thing it's time for you to show us how it's done."

"Leave it to me, Potter," Lily reluctantly pulled away from him as Fabian slunk back to his brother to take her turn.

This time she struck it lucky. The white plastic ball made a satisfying thunk as it tipped the rim of the cup and fell in. 

"Yes!" She squealed in delight, turning back as she threw her arms up in celebration. 

"You beauty!" James caught her around the waist, lifting her into the air in a twirl. Lily's arms came around his neck as her breath whooshed from her lungs. She could hear the rest of the team hooting and hollering in the background.  

"You were brilliant," He set her down, but instead of pulling back like Lily had expected, James leant forward, their noses brushing as he grinned down at her. "Thank you for coming." 

Lily's arms were still around his neck, and she felt his shiver as her fingers brushed along his hairline. "You're wel-" 

"Congratulations, Potter, Evans," Lily pulled back abruptly from James as Gideon interrupted her response. She'd forgotten completely where they were when he'd grabbed her. It hit her like a freight train as she saw him looking curiously between them. 

"Bad luck, Gideon," she grinned, sticking out her hand. "Better luck next time!" 

He shook her hand with a show of begrudgement, even as he laughed, "We'll get you eventually." 

"We won't hold our breath," James retorted, earning a jestful shove from Fabian.

"Try finding some smarter friends, yeah? Though I ‘spose if they're too smart, they wouldn't want to hang with you, would they?" Lily waved the twins off cheekily as Tonks handed them the gift voucher. "Thanks!" 

"Thoroughly entertaining win, guys, well done. And that's all for tonight folks, we'll see you all next week. Good night," Tonks closed the night with a flourish. 

James motioned for Lily to follow him back to the table, where the rest were waiting to give them a hero’s welcome. She hung back a minute. 

"You're a great host," she complimented Tonks, who was tapping away at her computer, shutting down the projector. "I had so much fun."

"Thanks, you guys were brilliant. The boys normally do alright on their own, but it was a smart move of theirs to bring you along." 

"One of their better ideas. You must be a media major, that's a pretty fancy set up." 

"I am. Though most of this I learned in my own time. What do you study?" 

"Science. Biology major." 

"Smarty pants. No wonder you guys did well. You dating the one with glasses?" Tonks turned away from the laptop to smile at her. 

Lily shook her head, "Nah, my friends dating the one in the torn jacket." She motioned to where Marlene now sat on Sirius's lap, lips planted on his for everyone to see. "I have Bio with Remus, though. He's lovely." 

"That the one with sandy hair?" Tonks looked over at their booth as well. "He does seem the nicest of the bunch." 

"Definitely," Lily agreed. "Single too." 

Tonk's eyebrows flew up, "Huh, fancy that, me too." 

Lily grinned, "Why don't I get your number, we should all hang out sometime."

"You know, I think I'd like that." 

They exchanged numbers and Lily practically skipped back to the booth, where the others were still crowing their victory. Except for James, who had apparently gone over to taunt The Ginger Ninjas in person some more, if their faces were anything to go by. Probably for the best. Lily didn't know if she could take much more of having to stop herself from jumping him every second. 

"What were you up to?" Remus had of course been watching Tonks, and therefore her, and the words left his mouth as soon as Lily slid in next to him. 

"Nothing," Lily smiled. "Making a new friend." 

"You got her number." 

"Are you jealous, Remus? I’ll share with you if you ask nicely," she nudged him playfully. 

He sighed, smoothing a hand across his face. "I expect this from them," he motioned his friends, "Not you."

"They," she cast a hand at them too, "Are unhelpful gits. I," she stuck a finger in the centre of her chest, "Am going to get you laid." 

"But why? Why do you care if I get laid?" 

"Because my dear Remus," Lily lay her head on his shoulder, the angle giving her a great view of a handsome, laughing face a few tables away, "One of us needs to." 

Chapter Text

"Well, everyone, that's a wrap for today. Pack up your benches and head home. Remember, Slughorn’s office hours are shorter next week, so book a spot if you've got any questions before the pop quiz," Lily's voice was raised above the general din of the lab, but she still managed to sound positive and encouraging. 

Maybe too encouraging.

"What if we want you to help us, Evans?" Gideon Prewett called cheekily from behind James. 

"Yeah, what if we need a private study session?" Fabian joined in. 

James gritted his teeth and forced himself to continue facing forward. Don't engage. Don't engage.

Luckily Lily was more than capable of dealing with the amorous twins with less than studious intentions. 

"Then I'd tell you what Slughorn's favourite brand of whiskey is, boys, so you can butter him up nicely. I reckon his favourite restaurant is probably a bit pricey though, so I hope you've been saving."

The class tittered as James allowed a smirk to grace his face. If he looked up, he was confident he'd see a gorgeous glowing grin on her face. She did enjoy banter and putting down the twins was a favourite for them both. Instead, he focused on wiping down his bench and equipment, knowing to look at her would only reignite his desire for her. 

Reignite 

Ha. 

As if he needed to be reignited. As if he did anything but desire her. As if the want didn't plague him from the second he woke to the time when he closed his eyes once more. 

That was a lie. 

Quite blatant actually. 

He dreamed about her too. Some were innocent, she was just present in the dream, while he battled lions, dragons. Partook in a magic duel on occasion. Not that he was showing off in his dreams or anything. That was what he always dreamed about, he was sure. He just remembered them better because she was there. 

Other dreams weren't quite so tame. Pressed up against the lab bench. A dark corner of the Broomsticks after winning the quiz and claiming his prize. The showers after she'd come to watch him win a rugby game. The grand final no less. She'd rewarded him beyond his wildest dreams. 

So, yeah, definitely a lie. 

There wasn't really a time within a twenty-four hour period he didn't want her. 

Placing everything back in his crate, he headed to return it to the back of the room. He nodded at the two girls at the back. One was Emma, he was sure of it. She was dating their half back. Had come to their first game and then the clubrooms after. Dragged Davidson home by his ear when he'd had a few too many. 

"Good luck for the game on Saturday, Captain," the other girl smiled at him. "I'm coming with Em." 

"Thanks, that's great," James wished he could remember her name. "Hopefully we go as well as last week." 

"I'm sure you will. After all, the team has you, don't they? It'll be a whitewash."

There was something in the way she leant forward, and in the way that Emma had turned her back to them, focusing on her bag, that made James a bit uncomfortable. He took another step toward the back of the room. 

"We'll try. Have a good night." 

He nodded at her farewell, wondering if she sounded a bit wistful to anyone else, hoping he was wrong. Taking the long way back, he grabbed his backpack from under the table and continued on his way. 

"Thanks, Evans. Great class." 

"Bye, Potter." 

James had learnt not to hang around after class. Not to wait until everyone had left. Things were too tempting. 

And by things, if anyone ever wondered, he meant her. 

He pulled his jacket closed before remembering he'd broken the zip that morning. Cursing himself for not changing to another one in his rush out the door, he braced himself as he left the Science building. 

"Fuck, it's cold. Fuck it's cold," he muttered as he hastened across the chilly quad. His jacket had flapped open almost immediately, his thinner jumper underneath no match for the early cold snap. 

As he ran, James praised himself on his efforts in class that day. They’d been doing well lately. Particularly in the labs when Slughorn wasn’t around and Lily could spend her time at the front of the classroom and amongst his classmates when they needed help. She’d spent the whole previous lesson going over material for their mid-term, taking questions. She was an absolute genius when it came to chemistry, almost never referring to their source material and explaining concepts in a way even the slowest of his peers could understand. 

Chemistry would have more students signing up if she gave the lectures, James was sure. 

So, while not as fun, they’d crafted the ability to avoid looking at each other, avoid making eye contact, avoid speaking to each other during class. When Slughorn was present they’d excelled at working together as lab partners without much in the way of chit chat. Just polite, civil banter. The occasional slip or two. Maybe a comment, a euphemism at worst. But really, who didn’t love a good metaphor? 

He hadn’t touched her since the night they’d won the quiz. A feat he hadn’t thought humanly possible. There had been a few near misses. She’d come back to the quiz last week with Marlene, though missed it the week before to study for a Calculus test. James didn’t blame her. Even Remus didn’t take Calculus. The Marauders had missed her answers in the week that she’d been away. They’d lost to the Powder Puffs, an annoying yet lovely collection of girls from Hufflepuff Hall, the nearest residence to Gryffindor Tower. He just knew he’d be hearing about it at the next interhouse day. For all their reputation for being nice, Hufflepuffs could sledge with the best of them. 

The week she’d returned, they’d sat at opposite ends of the table. By tacit agreement, Lily had remained in her seat the entire evening. As a penalty, or in penance, James had made sure her wine had stayed full and his hands stayed away. The Prewett’s had been watching him suspiciously since their hug in The Broomsticks, and he didn’t want any whiff of a rumour going around. So he’d played it safe, and so had she. Not even a kiss on the cheek hello, like he gave Marlene. 

It was bloody miserable.

 The fact they’d been beaten by a team of previous students, well into their mid-twenties, back to relive their glory days was even worse. 

The Order . 

Pfffff. Who did they think they were?

But James was a good boy, and there wasn’t that long of the semester left. They were nearly halfway, after all. He could do this. 

“Fuck.” 

He could not do this. 

James stopped halfway home. Home where it was warm. Home where it was dry. Home where the wind wasn’t blowing a bloody gale and turning all his ends to hypothermic nubs. Home where he might have Sirius, but he also had Remus. Remus was on dinner tonight. Remus made the best dinners. 

Which is why it was so bloody annoying that he realised he’d left his phone on the seat in the lab.

He’d be late for dinner. Remus might be a hell of a cook, but he was also a stickler for having tea on time. He liked to have everything hot on the table at once, with time to digest and relax before he did some study before bed. It was a routine. A ritual. And they all let it pass because he could make spaghetti good enough for the Gods. 

Despite the chill, James stood and contemplated his options. He could leave his phone, be on time for dinner. Avoid the potential of being alone with Lily, who was probably still tidying the room, as she often did. Make sure nothing untoward happened between them. No banter. No laughs. No hugs. 

Definitely no hugs. 

Or he could go get his phone, which he wasn’t good at living without. His calendar was one there. His training schedule. Someone in the team might have questions, thy had an away game this weekend. Someone always had questions. And his rugby tipping competition picks were due. He was coming in third on the ladder, he couldn’t let that slide. 

And what if his mum called? 

With a spin on his heel, James headed back the way he had come. He garnered some strange looks as he passed his classmates heading home, away from the building to which he returned. Spurred on by the thought of Remus’ dirty look if he was late for dinner, he got there in record time. 

And drew up short at the voices he heard behind the semi-closed door. 

“We’ve been through this before. I’m not interested in hearing this again.” 

“But you need to just listen to me. You’re not listening.” 

“I have listened. And I don’t agree. They’re two different things.” 

“Try to understand why I’m doing this.” 

“I’d really rather not. It makes me sick to think about.” 

“Don’t be like that. I said I’m sorry for what happened. It was never meant to hurt you.” 

“No, just everyone around me. People I call my friends. People I live with." 

"I wish you'd tell me where you live. I thought you'd be on campus." 

"I got a better offer." 

"Can't see how it could be better. If you're living with people like that." 

"See, there it is," Lily's voice was so cold and furious, James almost didn't recognise. It had been tense before, now she was glacial. "And what makes me so different from them, huh? I wasn't born here either."

"You know why it's different," the male voice sounded condescending, placating.  

"Go on, say it. Say it out loud so we both know what you’re truly like." 

"Lily. Don't be like this."

"It makes me sick. It makes me physically sick what you are. I don't want you anywhere near me." 

"If you just came and saw what we're doing. What they have to say -" 

"The only thing I'll see is a bunch of fucking bigots, cowards. I don't want to hear anything they all have to say. You included. I'm leaving." 

"Lily -" 

"Don't fucking touch me." 

James pushed through the door with an energy that made it seem like he hadn't just been standing outside listening. He let himself bustle a good few metres into the room before he looked up. 

"Evans, what are you still doing here? Everything okay?" 

Lily had used the distraction of his entry to wrench her arm from where it had been held. "Fine, thanks, Potter." 

At the sound of his name the man Lily had been speaking to turned to face him. 

James blanched, "Snivellus?" 

"Potter," his voice was cool and held the sneer that placed him back in high school immediately. "Get lost on your way to the gym?" 

"Forgot my phone, actually. I'm in this lab," James made for his bench, deliberately passing between them, through the gap Lily had created when she'd wrenched herself free. "What about you?" 

"Just catching up with Lily, old times."

"You two know each other?" It was obvious they did, but James was pretending he hadn't been eavesdropping. 

"We grow up together. Same neighbourhood," Lily answered quietly. She'd taken another step away from Snape while he was occupied with glaring at James. "How do you two know each other?" 

"Boarding school," James leant back against his bench, phone in hand, causing Snape to turn so he could face him head on. "We weren't exactly friendly though, were we Snivellus?" 

"Don't call me that." 

"Oh, now, don't be like that," he could feel himself reverting back to sixteen now. "Let’s not let old house rivalries get between us."

"Your mate tried to kill me. And you almost let him," Snape pointed a boney finger at him. 

"That is not what happened, and you know it. And you're not allowed to talk about that." 

"Of course you're trying to hide it," Snape scoffed. 

"There's an NDA, Snape. We all signed it." 

James could see Lily moving slowly toward the door, her eyes flicking between safety and James and Snape. "Thank you," she mouthed before slipping through the opening he'd left. He hoped she wasn't listening as she went. 

"Those lawyers your parents hired forced me into that. Typical rich kid, hiding behind his parents and his money." 

"Look I'd love to stand here chatting all day about the good old days, Snivellus -" 

"Don't call me that."

"- but I really just came to get my phone," he waved it in Snape's face. "So, I'll be off now. See you ‘round. Though, hopefully not." 

"Get stuffed, Potter," Snape finally looked around to realise Lily had left the lab. He threw a final sneer at James before storming from the room. 

"Well, he's still as pleasant as he'd ever been." 

James shook his head, his words echoing in the now empty lab. He left slowly, trying to process what he'd just heard.

Lily and Snape had been friends? He couldn't fathom it. Lily was good, just quintessentially good. Kind, sweet, smart, empathetic. Even if he hadn't seen her out of labs, her way with students, particularly those that were struggling would have shown him that. 

Snape was in every way her opposite. He'd been a quiet kid at first, when he'd transferred to their boarding school in time for their freshman year. Most of James' year had been there since their primary years, so he stuck out like a sore thumb. He kept to the library initially, but joined the science club, and had often been in school labs at lunchtime. But he'd fallen in with a rough crowd. Rich boys, just like he'd accused James of being, but not the nice kind. Quite the opposite in fact. 

He hoped Lily had had enough time to get as far from the science building as she could, so Snape couldn't catch up with her, as he'd so obviously intended to. Hopefully, she was at, or almost at her apartment, tucked away safely. Snape clearly didn't know where she lived and James hoped it would stay that way. 

He wouldn't mind knowing where she lived though. 

In case he ever needed to borrow a cup of sugar or something, you know. 

He headed back into the even colder weather, down the steps of the building. Hands shoved in his pockets, he tucked his chin down to try and stop the wind going down his neck. 

"James." 

He stopped short before he hit the walkway that wound back to his tower. He turned toward the voice, somewhere off to the right of the building. In the rapidly fading light, it was hard to see, but he'd know that voice anywhere. 

"What are you still doing here?" He moved toward her, stepping into the shadows, out of view from anyone passing by. "I thought you were going to hightail it home." 

Lily shook her head, looking miserable, "I wanted to explain." 

"You don't have to -" 

"But I want to," her hand landed on his wrist and almost short-circuited his brain. He wished he hadn't stared at her hand so much, as she removed it when she noticed his stare. "James, I don't know what you heard-" 

"Evans, you don't have to explain anything. Are you okay? That's what I'm more concerned about." 

"I'm fine. Nothing I haven't been round in circles about before with him," she took a deep breath and looked up at him. "Do you remember, back at the start of the semester, I mentioned my friend?"

James nodded slowly, "Your old lab partner?" His brain ticked over. "The one that was harassing you? That was -" 

"Snape," she sighed. "Yeah." 

"Evans, are you okay? Did he hurt you? Before I came into the room, did he try-" 

"I'm fine," she cut him off, hand returning to his wrist. This time he covered it with his own so she couldn't remove it. "He'd only just come in really." 

"What did he want?" 

"To be friends again, apparently. I don't think he's given up on the idea of us, really, but he says he just wants to be friends again. That he misses me." 

"And you believe him?" James wished he'd punched the git in the face after Lily had left the room. 

"I believe he does miss me. His friends are," she paused, tilted her head. "Well, actually, you must know them. They all went to school together." 

James winced, "Unfortunately, if he's still hanging out with the same group, I do. They, they aren't nice people, Evans." 

"I know that," she insisted, squeezing his arm. "They changed him. He wasn't always like this. He didn't care where people were from, what language they spoke, what religion they were. He cared more about learning and science than politics and propaganda." 

"They were a miserable lot. Most of their families are into all that shit. They tried to grow it at the school, always trying to get younger kids to join their club. Luckily, most saw sense." 

"He just doesn't get why it upsets me so much. Like I could ever be one of them," she fingers a curl of her hair with her free hand. "As if I'd fit in there." 

"You don't want to." 

"No, I don't. And I don't want to be friends with him either. But it doesn't seem to matter how many times I tell him that." 

"You said once," James hesitated. Shifted his weight to the other foot. Looked out across the now dark, empty quad. "That day, in the classroom. You said he wanted -" 

"He wanted me. Wants me," Lily looked a bit sick. "He does." 

James felt sick, "Has he ever tried, you know, anything"

He had never been more relieved than when Lily shook her head. "No. And I don't think he will. I don't think he's that far gone."

"Probably wouldn't even know what to do," James muttered darkly. 

Lily pulled her hand free, tucking her loose hair back behind her ears before crossing her arms around herself. "I don't even think it’s about that. I don't even think he wants that, really." 

"He'd really have to be crazy to not want that." 

She looked at him with faint exasperation, but didn't let him derail her, "It's more of a possession thing with him, I think. He just wants to have control over me, more than anything."

"That's sick." 

"Yeah," it was her turn to look uncomfortable, shuffle her feet. "He had a bad upbringing. His parents, they weren't great. It makes sense he'd look for something stable. Somewhere to belong." 

"You don't have to reason his behaviour, Evans. What he's doing isn't okay." 

"I know it’s not. But that doesn't mean I don't understand it," she looked down at the ground now. "There's a reason why I chose to live off campus, rather than get that freshman experience of the dorms like the rest of you." 

"I did wonder." 

"When I first got in here, I didn't have a full scholarship. Money was going to be tight. We've never had much of it," she smiled wryly at him. "I'm not a trust fund baby like you." 

Similar words to the ones thrown at him earlier. But it didn't sting when she said it. It made him smile, probably because she was smiling.

"Snape offered to help me get the TA position. It would mean extra work, but it would also cover the shortfall in my fees. It was a perfect solution." 

"But what happened?" James moved closer, his hand reaching out to rest on her elbow. 

"We were spending all this time together. It was nice, at first. He'd been off during the school year, not home on the holidays, so it was good to catch up. We'd go to the library, study the course curriculum, trying to plug any gaps before my exam to test out so I could apply. We went most days."

"Of course you did. How else to spend a summer." 

She shot him a glare but kept going, "But after a couple of weeks, especially once I sat my test, he started to get weird. Wanted to know where I was all the time. Who I was with. He'd get upset if I couldn't hang out." 

"How upset?" James knew he was probably imaging the worst, he couldn't help it. 

"Nothing violent," she reassured him quickly. "He'd just show up at my house all the time. Wait outside if my parents told him I wasn't home. Ring me, text me, all the time until I'd answer. It was scary." 

His hand squeezed at her arm before rubbing gently. 

"Then, there was this attack in a nearby neighbourhood. A group of teenagers, just a bit younger than us got beat up. Everything pointed to it being a hate crime." 

That feeling of nausea was making its way back. 

"I didn't suspect anything at first. Who would, you know? But we'd run into each other at the park, though now I realise he'd probably followed me there, and I mentioned something about needing to get home before dark or my mum would worry, what with the recent attack. He told me I didn't have anything to worry about, nothing like that would happen to me." 

Her voice was strained at this point and James had to move closer to hear her, just louder than a whisper. Both hands were rubbing at her arms as she spoke. 

"When I asked what he meant, he wouldn't elaborate. So I asked him point blank if he was involved. And all he could tell me was that they'd gotten what they deserved. Some kids, still in school, playing footy at the local field, had gotten what they deserved. For having a different skin colour to him." 

James's hands stopped moving, clutching tightly into her arms, as if he could hold her together. 

"I just about ran home. I couldn't understand him. What he'd done. I just wanted to be rid of him. How could I have not seen it before? How could I have not realised? I'm meant to be clever. Everyone always tells me how smart I am." 

"He probably didn't want you to see it. If he knew you at all, he'd know you wouldn't agree with any of that." 

"Well, apparently he doesn't know me. Because even though I've blocked him, not let him know where I live, changed classes to avoid him, he still turns up. Tries to convince me to see it his way. As if I could ever. As if it doesn't make me sick and angry and everything awful." 

It was her sob that did it. She'd been holding herself together well. Her voice had been low, shaken at times, but she'd sounded angry for the most part. Determined. But her voice broke and that broke him. 

"Come here," James pulled her into his arms. She resisted for all of a split second before falling into him. Her body was soft and warm, and he was suddenly grateful for his broken zip as her hands slipped underneath his jacket. It felt like he was hiding her away behind the fabric, her head buried against his chest. 

She didn't cry. Of that, he was almost certain. But her body heaved great shuddering breaths, shaking as he held her to him. He lost track of how long they stood there, in the shadows of the building, tucked away in a corner of the deserted campus, no one around to witness this moment. 

"I keep thinking maybe I should have done something differently. Maybe I could have stopped him becoming what he is," her voice was muffled by the wool of his jumper, even with her head turned to the side. 

His chin had been resting on her head, but he ducked it now, bring his lips near her ear, "You can't think like that. You'll eat yourself up." 

"But what if I could have? If I'd been nicer to him, been there for him." 

"I know you, Lily. You would have done whatever you could."

"But maybe-"

"Even if you'd been able to return his feelings, be what he wanted, he still might have turned out the same. From what I saw at school, he was pretty happy to join up with that lot." 

"Yeah, maybe." 

He pushed her back gently so he could see her face, smoothing her hair back where it had escaped during their hug. "Evans, stop it. You can't beat yourself up about it."

She was a bit blotchy, and clearly exhausted, "I know. I shouldn't. But I just -" 

Instead of letting her finish, he pulled her back against him, one arm across her back again, but the other buried in her hair, cradling her head against him. She made a small sound of protest, but given her arms were back snuggling between his jacket and woollen jumper, he didn't really pay attention. 

"I'll let you go when you take it easier on yourself." 

"Not really much incentive for me to do that, is it?" 

He smiled despite the situation, "True. And I'm not really going to complain if you struggle a little longer." 

She snorted but squeezed tighter. James' hand sifted gently through her hair, enjoying the softness of it as he looked out over the top of her head. The quad was so peaceful now, classes done for the day, darkness blanketing the usually busy space. It was easy to feel like they were the only people in the world. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket and then buzzed again. Pressed against him as she was, Lily must have felt it. 

"You're popular." 

"It'll be Remus," James sighed. "Tea must be ready. I was supposed to be home in time." 

"Oh," Lily pulled back to look up at him. She didn't let go, her hands clenching in the wool above his hips, still tucked inside his jacket. "I've kept you." 

He shook his head, "Not at all. It'll be fine." 

Lily raised an eyebrow, "Even I know how much of a stickler Remus is for the time. We better get you home." 

She moved further, her arms dropping to her sides, hands burying in her own pockets. James felt cold and bereft and only just managed to hold back his whine at the loss of her. 

"Shouldn't I be walking you home?" He asked as they turned toward the path he'd originally started down. 

"Your home is on my way." 

"Do you not trust me either, to know where you live?" James couldn't help feel a bit hurt he was relegated to the same level as Snape. 

"No, I don't. But for a completely different reason," she raised an eyebrow at him. "Bit too tempting, don't you think?" 

"True," he acknowledged with a nod. "But you know where I live." 

"Couldn’t be helped, given your on campus. But at least knowing who you live with will keep me from ever being tempted to a late night booty call." 

Well, when you put it that way. James couldn't think of anything better than Lily turning up to his apartment unannounced. He'd happily take the ribbing his friends would undoubtedly dish out if it meant he got her. But she had a point. 

"Fine," he grumbled. "Have your secrets." 

"I'll tell you one day," she promised, reaching out to squeeze his hand. He barely had a chance to squeeze back before she released him. "When you can actually act on it." 

That day could not come soon enough for James. 

"Can I at least know who you live with?" 

Lily smiled softly then. "Two very very good friends. Mary is a friend from hockey camp. A sophomore, studying medicine, for her sins. She's Scottish and brilliant. Such a laugh. Kingsley is a post grad, he's in his mid-twenties, come back to study law, though he's actually in the specialised police force. Six foot four, built like a brick wall, terrifying to the uninitiated." 

James felt instantly jealous just by the warmth in her voice as she spoke of him. "Sounds great." 

She wasn't fooled, giving him a strong side-eyed look. "One hundred percent gay, of course, and forever on the dating apps, so look out for him if that's your type." 

He relaxed, shoulders loosening as they came to a stop outside Gryffindor Tower. He smirked before he could stop himself. "I think you know my type."

Lily tossed her hair back, "Unobtainable." 

"Alluring." 

"Sarcastic." 

"Charming." 

"Off-limits." 

"Amazing." 

She pressed her cold hands to her face, "Blotchy, from melting down, most likely." 

"Beautiful," he pulled her hands away, looking straight into her eyes. "Always." 

"Now who's charming?" 

"I have my moments," James's phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out enough to see the screen, grimacing as he shoved it back in. "Though Remus is less than charmed by my tardiness. You sure you're alright from here?" 

Lily waved him off, taking several steps back, "Go, go. You don't want to antagonise the beast." She pointed up to the sky, "It is a full moon, after all." 

He looked up and grinned, "Very true. You do know him well. I'll see you soon?" 

"Friday's class," she confirmed. "Then your game on Saturday, if that's still okay? Remus said he was going so I'll have someone to sit with." 

James nodded, though his face scrunched a bit. "Yeah, of course. It should be a good one, the other side hasn't lost yet this season either. I better warn you, might be a bit rough, they're known for being a bit dirty." 

"My favourite kind of game," that smile was brighter than the moon above them, James swore. "Looking forward to it." 

"Me too," he moved backwards up the steps. "You're alright, really?" 

"Yes, Potter," he couldn’t help another grin as she switched back his last name. A clear sign her spirits had lifted. "You were brilliant. A regular white knight. Go and get your reward." 

"I'm sure the knights used to get to more of a reward than dinner." 

She had already turned away, heading off down the path she'd gone the other day. Apparently, his grumble had been loud enough to reach her though as her response drifted back to him. 

"Then you better hope Remus puts out. I'm going home for a bath. You can picture that if you must, as a reward." 

James thought she must have gotten muddled up. She'd said reward, but clearly, she meant to torture him. He continued into the Tower just as his phone started to ring. 

"Where the hell are you, Prongs?" 

"Thirty seconds, Moony, I swear." 

"Any longer and I'm letting Sirius eat your share." 

James didn't answer, too busy sprinting up the stairs. 

Chapter Text

The day dawned bright and sunny, and for that, Lily was glad. She might enjoy Rugby, love it, in fact. She might also enjoy the outdoors, where the game was typically played. She might particularly enjoy the excuse to stare longingly at the captain of one of the teams without anyone being the wiser. Really, sunny weather made that even easier because she could lurk behind her sunglasses and no one would have a clue. 

But there was nothing worse than sitting in the cold, or even worse, the rain, watching a rugby game. 

Your feet got cold. So, so cold. If you had a seat, your bum got cold. If you didn't have a seat, your feet got colder and your boots would be covered in mud. Your hands froze when they weren't holding travel mugs of tea and paper cups of hot chips, smothered in tomato sauce. Your lips chapped in the wind. And from the over salted chips. You couldn't use your lip balm because your hands were either frozen or occupied. 

No one wanted to kiss someone with chapped lips. 

No one. 

Not that she'd be doing any kissing, of course. More's the pity. But one did like their lips to at least look kissable.

But today was sunny. There wasn't a breeze in sight, and for that, Lily was grateful. Today she got to go watch the boy she really liked play the sport he loved, and was, apparently, very good at. Today she got to go perv from behind her sunglasses, shout and cheer him on under the guise of cheering for the team. Today was going to be a good day. 

That's what she told Mary as they had breakfast together, at least. Mary was a bit more sceptical. 

"This is a disaster waiting to happen," she declared, mid-slather of an enormous amount of honey on her already over-buttered crumpet.

"What?" Lily paused mid pouring of milk into their teas. "Why?" 

"He's going to be hot. Sweaty." 

"Probably."

"Running around, barking orders, scoring tries.” 

“That’s generally what you do in rugby, yes.”  

“Tackling people." 

“I wish he was tackling me,” Lily muttered this between sips of tea.  

"And there’s my point,” Mary sat back triumphantly, taking a large bite of her crumpet and chewing obnoxiously. “Disaster waiting to happen.” 

“What - why?” Lily stared over her teacup at her. 

“That,” Mary gestured up and down Lily. “All of this. I know you and rugby boys, Lily.”

“Honestly, you have one crush on Ritchie McCaw, and you’re never allowed to forget it,” Lily picked up her own crumpet, muttering darkly. “Last time I tell you about my best dreams.” 

“I’d feel sad, but you’re pretty open after a couple of mojitos, Lil.” 

“I still take offence to this. I’ve never even dated a rugby player.” 

“You’ve snogged a fair few though.” 

“Like you haven’t.” Lily glared. 

“We’re not talking about me,” Mary dismissed confidently. “You’re going to be so turned on you’ll probably jump him at half time.” 

Lily felt her jaw drop now, “Excuse me. I have some control.” 

“You’re excused. But you better be wearing some sturdy knickers, is all I’m saying.”’ 

“Mary!” 

“Just keeping it real, love.” Mary licked each finger with an overly zealous suck. “Can’t imagine how you're getting yourself through this.” 

“You probably can,” Lily sighed, tearing apart her crumpet to take a large bite of the soft middle. “It’s a lot of cold showers.” 

“A lot of self-satisfaction?” Mary wiggled her eyebrows. 

“That too. Quit laughing at me! This isn’t funny.” 

“It is a bit funny. It’s worse than watching King on the apps.” 

“Don’t you dare. Nothing is worse than watching King on the apps.” 

“The thirst on that boy. But when do I get to meet yours?” 

“James?” Lily sat up a bit straighter. “Probably at the end of the semester, why?” 

“I want to know if he’s worth all this fuss.” 

“He is.” 

“A biased opinion, that is, my dear. I’d like to see for myself.” 

“He’s not your type.” 

“Well, we both know that,” Mary smirked. “That’s how we’ll know if he’s worth it. I’m the opposite of biased.” 

“You’ll never think he’s worth it just because he’s a he. That does not make you unbiased.” 

“Hey, I like men as well. Those snogs weren’t all rugby girls, you know. Some were lads. I just don’t like to be in relationships with them.” 

“You can meet him at the end of the semester. We can’t exactly have him round to the flat.”

“What about trivia? I could come to that.” 

“You work on Tuesdays, Mare.” 

“True,” she slumped. “I’ll just have to get Marlene’s advice next time she’s round.” 

“I knew I shouldn’t have introduced you two.” 

“You absolutely should of. She’s brilliant.” 

“She’s into Sirius. His best mate. She’s probably biased as well.” 

“Nonsense. She just said he’s a good shag and they have fun. Not everyone enters themselves into a complicated love situation every time someone catches their fancy, Lil.” 

“I know.” Lily curled back on her chair, mug between both hands. “I wish I could be flippant.”

“No, you don’t.” Mary shook her head at her. “If you did, you’d enjoy the idea of a casual fling. You’re a demi, love. There’s no shame in it.” 

“I’m not embarrassed to want to have feelings along with my sexual attraction. I just wish it didn’t make things so complicated.” 

“That’s not what’s making you and James complicated.” 

“No, that would be my position of authority over him.” 

“Hot. No wonder he’s keen.” 

Lily rolled her eyes. “Like that’s what’s turning him on. We’re the same age and he’s far too bright for me to have any power over him.” 

“I’m sure your sexual feminine wiles would do the trick.” 

“Which I can’t use, remember.”

“Oh God, that must mean he’s attracted to your disgusting looks and terrible personality,” Mary grimaced. “He can’t be that bright.”

“You and Marlene really have to stop hanging out,” Lily swallowed the last of her tea and stood up. “Thanks for the chat, I think. I’m off though. I said I’d meet Remus to go over some Bio stuff for a couple of hours before we head to the pitch.” 

“Have fun,” Mary sang as Lily snagged her backpack on the way to the door. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” 

“That doesn’t leave much out,” she managed to retort before closing the front door behind her. 

She had a spring in her step later, as she walked alongside Remus to the rugby field. The weather had warmed enough as the day crept on that she’d been able to take off her coat, and push up the sleeves on her jumper. 

“He was nervous this morning, you know,” Remus said conversationally as they strolled. His lips twitched up at the ends. 

“It’s a big game for them, isn’t it? Likely to be close, he said.” 

“That wasn’t why he was nervous.” 

Lily finally gave in and looked at her friend, “Well, go on then. I can see you’re dying to. Why was he nervous?” 

“To play in front of you, of course.” 

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Lily couldn’t help the incredulous look spreading across her face. “He’s so confident. He’s the most confident man I’ve ever met.” 

“Usually, yes,” Remus acknowledged with a nod. “But not, apparently, around you.” 

“That doesn’t make sense. He knows I’m into him. That should help, not hinder him.” 

“That’s James for you. I tried to tell him this. I think the frustration’s getting into his head.” 

Lily grimaced wryly, “He’s not alone.” She paused. Considered. “He was really nervous?” 

“He wants to impress you. And he wants to win this game. He feels the pressure, as Captain. It’s a tenuous position, being new and young.” 

‘Would they normally give it to a first-year?” 

Remus shook his head, “No, not normally. But James… he’s quite exceptional. Not that he’d ever tell you. He played for the national side throughout school, the Junior World Cup, the Junior Commonwealth. He could be playing professionally. He had offers.” 

“I had no idea. He never said.” 

“He doesn’t. Ever.” 

Lily felt floored. This felt like a major part of James’ life that he hadn’t told her about. But then, actually, when had they had the chance? Since that day in the library, they hadn’t been able to have much in the way of conversation. They were in class, or with the group at the pub, and even there they had to speak to the others. 

“And he’s nervous, for me to watch? When he’s done all that?” 

“He’s used to that. Used to the pressure of the game, blocking out supporters,” Remus shrugged, nudging her shoulder. “He’s not used to caring about someone. Wanting to impress them. Not knowing what they’ll think.” 

“Well, now I find it even less likely that he’s not constantly surrounded by girls.” 

“He’s never had the time. Or the inclination. Or perhaps I should say, the right temptation. Because he certainly still doesn’t have the time now.” 

Lily felt her cheeks redden, though Remus’ eyes were kind and his expression sincere. “I hope he knows he doesn’t need to be nervous. I’m already impressed.” 

“I try to remind him,” Remus shrugged. “But he’s James. His parents have always thought him perfect, and are so proud of him, that he’s always trying to live up to that expectation. He has trouble thinking that he can measure up to anyone’s ideals.” 

She thought for several moments, before holding out her hand. “Could I borrow your phone?” 

Remus paused, hovering it over her hand. He raised an eyebrow, “Nothing that will make me want to burn my eyes out, alright?” 

Lily pouted, “And I was so looking forward to sending a selfie or two from the bathroom. Best behaviour, I promise.” 

He passed her his phone, unlocked and already open to his messages with James.  

Good luck today, Captain.

Wish I could kiss you good luck.  

But know I’ll be cheering for you. 

“He’s probably warming up,” she shrugged as she handed the phone back. “But maybe he’ll see it before they go on.” 

“I’m sure he’ll appreciate it whenever he does see it,” Remus tucked it into his pocket and motioned to a low fence rail on the slight hill above the field. “Shall we sit up there?”

“Perfect.” 

They perched on the rail in the sun and watched as the ground slowly filled with people. Some stood right on the sideline, in between and around the team sheds set along the side to block the coaches, trainers and reserves for the weather. There were more people than Lily had expected, so early in the season. She recognised several faces from her classes, including from her TA duties. 

Several players from either side wandered about, coming in and out of the block of changing rooms, playing with strapping tape, purchasing sports drinks from the canteen, speaking to supporters and coaches and the like. She saw a flash of red, recognised the stature of a Prewett twin, but at too great a distance to tell which one. 

“They should be starting in about ten.” 

“Great,” Lily lifted her face to the sun, letting her eyes close as she felt the vitamin D sink in. “Are you a chips now, or a chips at the half type of guy?” 

“I mean, why do we have to choose,” Remus sounded so reasonable. “I’ll get some now, you get some at the half.” 

“I knew there was a reason we were friends.” 

Before Remus could move to get the delicious hot chips that Lily could smell wafting from the clubrooms, he was hit from behind. Or tackled might be a better word, given they were on a rugby field. 

“Jesus, Prongs,” Remus recovered well, maintaining his balance on the rail, bringing one arm to cover his friend’s around him, one to ruffle his hair. “I saw you this morning.” 

“It was that saucy message, Moony. I couldn’t resist.” James’ face was buried in his friend’s neck, but one arm fell from the hug. Lily jumped as his hand landed directly on her own where she held the wooden post. It was a clever move, their hands blocked by hers and Remus’ bodies from any onlookers. 

Her hand flipped of its own volition. His fingers, rough and calloused, linked through hers immediately. She traced the edge of the strapping tape that would protect his wrist during the game with her thumb. A gentle squeeze brought his gaze to hers. 

“Alright, Captain?” she asked softly. “Ready for the game?” 

His smile wasn’t the normal full wattage, his forehead creased. It was a contradiction to his answer. “Yeah, of course. The lads are raring to go.” 

“You nervous?” 

His head shake was vehement, “Nah, we’ll be right.” 

“I already told her you were.” 

James’ swift glare, even as he still rested against his friend, made Lily laugh out loud. “Traitor.” 

“He wasn’t,” Lily protested with a giggle, squeezing James’ fingers again. “He was actually talking you up. I didn’t know you were such a rugby star.” 

James pulled back from his friend, standing up and shifting uncomfortably. The movement meant he’d pulled his hand from hers. She felt the loss acutely. Her fingers clenched and stretched, trying to memorise the feel of him before his warmth faded from her skin. 

“I’m not a star.” 

“Remus said you played for the national team,” Lily spoke quietly, seeing his unease. “That’s pretty special.” 

“I’m just lucky. In the right place at the right time. In front of the right people.”

“You’re not lucky, Prongs,” Remus sounded like they’d had this conversation before. “You’ve worked bloody hard. Pushed yourself further than anyone’s ever asked. You should be proud of that.”

“That was juniors. Most of these guys have had similar opportunities. They’re older. More experienced. It’s different now.”

“You can do it,” Lily spoke before Remus could. “I know you, I’ve seen how you commit yourself to things. You can do this.” 

James stared at her for several long moments. His hands were fists at his sides. “Okay,” he said eventually. 

“So, go do it,” Lily nodded encouragingly. “Good luck.”  

“Thanks,” James reached forward, grasping his friend’s shoulder. His eyes though, stayed on hers. “Thank you.” 

They both nodded, and he turned and jogged back toward the dressing rooms. 

“That would have taken me at least another five minutes, to talk down,” Remus observed. “Well done.” 

“I did nothing.” 

“That was not nothing,” Remus elbowed her as they turned back around to face the field. The juniors that had been playing on a split field were heading back in now, as the referee prepared for the first division match. "You are not nothing. Not to him." 

"Remus-" 

"I know this is shit. I see it on his face every day. I see it on yours. We make light of it, we all tease you and you two take it. Because you both know, just like we all do. This is not nothing. It's everything, Lily." 

"I, uh. You, um. That's so -" Lily started. Stopped. Tried again. Failed. "Thank you, Remus." She put her arm through his, leaning against him on the rail as they waited for the teams to run out. 

He patted her hand where it rested on his arm. "We're almost at mid-semester." 

"Don't remind me. Still months to go." 

Lily was prevented from any further contemplation of the months remaining until she could throw herself into James's arms without a second of hesitation by the emergence of the teams onto the field. 

The away team was decked in red and yellow, and had their fair share of supporters cheering as they ran out. Reserves still wearing jackets, trainers and coaches followed at a much slower place.

The home team came next. They were resplendent in university colours, navy, light blue and gold. The crowd was louder now, clapping and shouting player's names. Many players waved, smiled, called things back as they went out. Lily didn't really pay attention to them. It was the man at the front that had caught her attention. 

As he always did. 

James suited the colours, that was the first thing of note. Lily thanked the heavens for the trend that had changed rugby shirts from the old, loose, long sleeved cotton version, to the form fitting Lycra v-neck tees that players now wore. Her mouth went dry as she enjoyed the definition of his chest, his flat stomach under the sleek material, the bulk of his biceps that the sleeves pulled tight around. 

Rugby shorts were also a favourite of hers. Short enough to expose strong thighs, a delicious curve of bottom. Muscular calves bulged under long navy socks. He looked, in a word, delicious. 

But what struck her more as he took his place near the back of the field, closer to their side than the other, was his expression. 

Gone was the uncertainty she'd seen on his face before. He looked determined. He looked focused. He looked at home on the field, moving back and forth as he waited for the first whistle. Shouting words to his team mates as they prepared for the first kick, he was calm and authoritative. 

"You're drooling." 

Lily blinked. Sat back, unaware she'd leant forward in her seat. Closed her mouth with a snap. "I am not." 

The whistle blew, and they were quiet for a moment as they watched the other teams half back cast the ball into the air. 

"You were definitely drooling." 

"Am not." 

"It's still there, I can take a photo." 

"No, you bloody well -" Lily swiped at her mouth, finding it dry of any saliva. "You liar." 

"My mistake," Remus positively brimmed with mirth. 

"What happened to the kind, supportive Remus of five minutes ago?" 

"Swings and roundabouts, Lil," he nudged her until her screwed up nose morphed into a reluctant smile. "Now, watch the game. That's the thing with the ball, if you can tear your eyes away from James for long enough. 

"I'll do my best." 

As James had warned, it was a brutal game. Right from that first play, it was clear the other team had come for blood. There were three yellow cards in the first half alone, two that could have been reds, with neck high tackles. The red and yellow players pulled, struck and stomped at the blue and whites while the ref did his best to control the madness. 

"Ouch," Lily winced as one of the Prewetts was tackled to the ground. Even the large, burly twins were copping it on the field, even if it did take three opponents to take them down.

"This is bad." 

"At least we're still winning," Remus' words were followed by a cringe as the second Prewett, having picked up the ball from his brother, hit the deck. 

And they were ahead going into half time, in no small part, thanks to James. There was a reason he had been picked for the captaincy. He created gaps, controlled plays through the half back, kicked high and ran like the bloody devil. Faster than anyone else on the field, he ducked and wove through the opposition and had either scored or assisted in all their teams' tries. When his team looked down, he picked them up. When someone did well, his words of praise could be heard across the green. 

Gideon, having emerged with a torn shirt from a brutal ruck, paused before he tapped the ball with his foot. James shouted, what Lily couldn't tell, but it was clearly an instruction. The forward stuck his hand straight in front, knocking two players from his path before running the ball out to end the half. 

"Thank God that's over," Lily murmured to Remus as the teams jogged back to the dressing rooms for the break. 

"There's still more to come though. I'll go get us those chips." 

Lily was distracted from answering as she caught James's eye. He was at the back of the pack, having spoken to the referee before coming in. She gave him her best smile, trying to convey her encouragement and support, and received a wink back for her efforts. 

Good Lord, a wink. 

Her heart was set alight over a wink. 

The second half was more of the same. Except James' team were flagging, reserves flying off the bench as players limped and tugged from the field. The score evened up, and Lily watched in disbelief as James pushed himself again and again as the clock counted down the time. 

He really was incredible.

There was a problem with being a star player though. 

You were a very obvious target. 

James had evaded most of the brute force exerted by the away team. He sported a few bruises, some cuts, some more than aggressive tackles. But his speed had helped him stay out of most of the danger. 

But nothing helped when five players committed to taking you down. It didn't matter he'd already made it across the line. It didn't matter he'd already scored the winning try, just inside the end of the game. The pile up was aggressive, illegal and performed with the single intent to hurt the captain that had cost them the game. 

"Bastards," Remus hissed. 

Lily didn't say anything, clutching at his arm and pressing her temple into his shoulder as she waited for the players to get up and reveal what was left of James. 

"He'll be alright," Remus muttered. 

A girl with PHYSIO in fluoro on the back of her shirt ran straight across the field before the last player had rolled off him. She fell to her knees in the mud, hands immediately flying to him, feeling around what she could reach. Her position blocked Lily's view of James, but she could see his legs. They weren't moving. 

"Distract me, Remus," Lily urged quietly. She held his arm with both hands, clutching desperately.

"What?" Remus wasn't looking at her. He was too busy craning his neck in different directions trying to see. 

"Distract me before I run across this field. Distract me before I run across this field in front of all these people because I need to know he's alright," Lily squeezed what was likely half of Remus' blood from his arm. 

"I had lunch with Tonks yesterday." 

As far as distractions went, it was a good one. 

"You what?" Lily pulled herself off Remus's shoulder to stare at him incredulously. 

A blush spread across his face. “We had lunch. Ow!” 

Lily had socked him in the arm, “I can’t believe I’m just hearing about this now.” 

“I thought she might have told you. You guys have been having coffee.” 

“And cocktails,” Lily nodded with a grin. She punched his arm again. “You’ve been holding out on me.” 

“It was the first time,” Remus paused. His expression took on a wolfish vibe. “I don’t think it will be the last though.” 

“You sly devil,” Lily shook her head. “It’s always the quiet ones, isn’t it?” 

“It was just lunch. You’re acting like I’ve devoured her.” 

“I bet you want to.” 

“Lily,” Remus whined. He looked away from her, back to the field. He straightened. “James is up.” 

Lily blanched, all mirth at her friend’s expense forgotten. She turned in time to see James indeed on his feet, supported by the diminutive physio at his side. He was shaking his head at her, even as she clearly tried to hold him back. His movement was slow at first, gingerish as he made his way over to the side of the field. When he got to the try line, he turned back and waved at the half back, who was waiting to kick the conversion and end the game.

TWEEE

The referee’s loud, crisp blow of the whistle called the match a victory for the home team. Supporters cheered, fans of the opposition clapped politely as the players all moved back onto the field toward each other to shake hands. There was decided tension amongst them, particularly those who had butted heads quite literally during the game. 

Eventually, finally, James shook hands with the referee. They had some words, the referee placing his hand on James’ shoulder as they spoke. James nodded, the man patted his arm a couple of times before Lily watched him turn toward the clubrooms, toward them, and begin to leave the field. 

“Do we go down to him?” Remus asked. “Do you want to?” 

“You’re his friend. It’d be weird if you didn’t, right?” Lily wasn’t sure how she was going to be near him and not touch him. Not give herself away in the first three seconds. 

“Right,” Remus stood, brushing himself off. He held out his hand to where she still sat. “Shall we?” 

Lily took his hand gratefully, and threaded her arm through his when she stood. Having her friend to hold onto kept her balanced. Grounded. Hopefully, it’d help her not try and hold James. 

It was more difficult to get to the winning rugby captain than they had anticipated. Players mingled amongst spectators at the entry to the field. By the time Lily and Remus had picked their way through, several other people crowded around James. 

Several other girls , Lily noted with distaste. 

One of these girls was Hestia, who sat in the back of the Chemistry class Lily was the TA for with Emma. The girl she had seen trying to flirt with James in class. She wasn’t very good at Chemistry. Not like Lily. She was very pretty, however. And by the sound of James’ laugh, he’d noticed. 

As they got closer, she could see the rucks on James’ neck. Cuts from the blunt spikes of the opposition’s boots where they had landed on his body. Bruises already formed, purples and reds and blues. His face and clothes were streaked with mud and grass stains from the field. Sweat clung to his skin, beading along his forehead. 

He looked terrible. 

She’d never wanted to be in his arms more. 

Which made it hurt all the more when she watched Hestia reach up to touch his face, tracing the line of a bruise. James flinched at the contact, moving backwards, only to be caught by the girl grabbing hold of his other arm. He paused, looking at her hand on him. His eyes flashed up and around, having no trouble in finding Lily’s. 

She was close enough to see his expression change from one of confusion to one of pleasure. His eyes, always the light in his expression, fairly danced as he looked at her. It took her several moments to realise why she could see his eyes so well, even from a distance. It was the first time she’d seen him without glasses. While she preferred him with them, the advantage of seeing his face open, his eyes clear and unfiltered, was undoubtedly a site to behold. 

She couldn’t wait until she’d see him without glasses, hovering over her, preferably on a bed.

Or against a wall. 

She wasn’t picky. 

It was a relief to see him step away from Hestia without a word, as if he’d forgotten she was there. The other girl’s hand dragged as it fell from his forearm, but James didn’t seem to notice. He moved toward Lily and Remus with purpose, edging around the few people between them. 

“Hey,” he smiled happily, proudly. All earlier nerves forgotten. 

“Hey,” she returned, aching to hold him. “Great game, Captain.” 

“Thanks. It was brutal, but I’m glad we got there. The boys did well.” 

“You did well,” her voice was insistent. “You were incredible.”

“She’s not wrong,” Remus agreed. “But would you please stop looking at each other like that.” 

Lily blinked, and realised that although she held Remus’ arm, she had drifted closer to James. Or had he drifted closer to her? He also seemed shocked to find they were little more than a breath apart. She didn’t resist when Remus tugged her back. 

“Are you okay?” she asked. “That last tackle was pretty ghastly.” 

James reached up to his neck, where the deepest cut resided, clotted with dried blood and dirt. “Yeah, fine. They were worried I was knocked out. Poppy made me stay down until I could feel and move everything, and checked my neck. I’m all good.” 

“They really didn’t pull their punches,” Remus grimaced. “Everyone’s looking a bit rough, really.” 

“Nothing a shower and a beer won’t fix,” he looked around, raised his voice. “Oi, Dragons! Back to the dressing room! We can celebrate when we’re cleaned up.” His command was met with a hearty cheer. James looked back at them as the players started to move. “You’ll come to the club rooms, yeah? I’ll meet you both there.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Lily started apprehensively. James, sweaty and dirty, was an appealing image. Cleaned up and celebrating a great show of sporting prowess? With a wine in her hand? That might be too much for a mere mortal like herself. 

She was interrupted in forming an excuse, however, by a passing Prewett. 

“Oh, come on, Evans. Come for a drink with us all,” Gideon threw his arm around her shoulders as he came past. 

Lily pushed him off, wrinkling her nose, “Ugh, you stink.” 

“First rounds on me to make up for it,” he wiggled his eyebrows at her, not put off at all by her shove. “We can get rowdy.”  

“Showers, Prewett,” James’ voice cut in. His eyes were narrowed. 

“Sure, Captain,” Gideon’s cocky grin still didn’t fade. Lily watched him head for the change rooms, by the look of the people around them, tossing out more charm as he went. He’d have no trouble finding others to celebrate with, she was sure. 

“You should come,” James’ words pulled her back to him. “I’ll behave, I promise.” 

“It’s not you I’m worried about,” Lily muttered quietly. Mostly to herself. But from Remus’ snort, and James’ widened grinned, clearly they both heard her. 

“You’ll be fine. Remus will protect me from your clutches.”

“Why must you keep putting me in between you two? I do have a life, you know.” 

“Invite Tonks,” Lily suggested helpfully. “Or I will, if you’d like.” 

“No, it's fine, I can do it,” Remus ignored Lily’s giggle as he pulled out his phone. 

“Great, I’ll see you soon,” James clapped Remus on the shoulder and winked at Lily as he went to move past her. “As soon as I’ve had a shower.” 

Lily groaned internally at the image he’d created in her mind. “Have fun,” she managed to croak before he’d gone too far. She pulled on Remus’ arm before he’d finished his text. “Come on. I need that drink.” 

Chapter Text

It was noisy by the time James had showered and made it into the bar of the clubrooms. 

It truly shouldn't have taken so long, but he'd kept getting distracted by some thoughts and then needed to calm down. Really it was a blessing he'd taken so long to get cleaned up by the trainers that all the other lads had departed the showers. He didn't really need anyone to take the mick out of him anymore than his actual mates already did. 

The object of his thoughts and affections was easy to spot as he entered the room. James had to fight every instinct to go to her. Every part of him ached to walk up behind her, slide his arms around her and pull her back against him. He could almost feel her softness pressing into him, the warmth of her body as she'd relax and cover his hands with hers. The undoubtable stomach flip he'd get when she tipped her head back and managed to catch her lips on his jaw. 

He really, really wanted to walk over to her.

Instead, he went to the bar. 

"Great game, Captain." 

James turned to find Michael Bell, the team's scrum half, next to him, holding a pint in one hand. 

"You too, mate, all that practise paying off, huh?" 

Michael grinned, taking a sip of his beer. "It better be, mate. There's been no time for a social life." 

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" James was sure he'd seen him with someone during pre-season. 

"Nah," Michael shook his head ruefully. "Got a bit excited on a trip away, and she dropped me. Not a sharer." 

"Good on her," James did his best not to let his disgust show on his face. 

"Yeah, well, she wasn't that great anyway," Michael shifted uncomfortably, obviously aware his Captain didn't share his loose morals and poor treatment of women. "Plenty more fish in the sea." 

"Yup," James nodded his thanks to the bartender as he was delivered a fresh drink. He tipped his glass to his teammate. "Cheers  mate." 

"Yeah, sure, Potter, cheers."

James was already turned away from the bar headed across the room towards an infectious laugh. 

Lily had her head tipped back, the giggles dying in her throat as her eyes slowly opened. She'd removed her jumper in the warmth of the room. Her black t-shirt set off her hair, her eyes, clearly the most gorgeous thing in the room. They locked on him as he approached from behind Remus and Tonks. 

"Told you," Tonks nudged her, causing Lily to snort and shake her head. 

"Fine," she sighed. "It was a stupid bet to make anyway."

"What bet?" James asked, coming to a stop beside Remus. Also, coincidentally, beside Lily. But that wasn't his fault. It was there, or between Remus and Tonks, and James wasn't that big of a prick. 

Unlike his mate. 

"That you could resist coming over here for at least the length of your first beer," Remus tapped his pint gently against James' as he sold him down the river. "Knew you wouldn't stay away." 

"What can I say, Moony. You've just got this undeniable animal magnetism. It's hard to resist." He winked at Tonks. "Don't you agree?" 

Tonks shook her head at him, tutting. "Now, now, Potter, you're deflecting." 

"Can't imagine what you mean, Pink," James looked at Lily now, raising his eyebrows dramatically as she cast him a dry look in return. "Do you know what she means, Red?"

"It's funny," Lily spoke to Tonks, shifting her stance to turn back to the other girl, "If you asked me last night, if I was attracted to someone on the team, I would have told you, yes. But now, for some reason, nothing." 

"Now you're just lying, Evans." 

"No one's attracted to a smarmy git, Potter." 

"I'm charming." 

"You're smug," Lily looked at him over her wine glass, fluttering her lashes before focusing on her drink. “I’d rather go out with a giant squid.” 

James had never wanted to kiss her more. 

Well, never more in the last five minutes, at least. 

Since the conversation began. 

Since his last sentence. 

He wanted to kiss her a lot. 

"I thought they were bad at the pub, all longing looks and subtle remarks," Tonks remarked to Remus, leaning close to his side. "But this is much worse." 

"Tell me about it," Remus nudged her shoulder with his. "You don't know the half of what I've been through." 

"And we love you for it, mate," James slung his arm around his friend's shoulders. "You're my favourite, you know that." 

"I'm going to tell Sirius you said that," Remus shrugged himself away, moving back towards Tonks. 

James’ face fell, "Don't." 

Remus took a sip of his beer, looking extremely nonplussed. "You should be more careful about what you say. Words hurt, Potter." 

"He'll kill me," James pouted, turning large Bambi eyes on his friend. "Moony, you can't." 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tonks mouth Moony to Lily, who shook her head. 

"Don’t bother asking," she said. "They won't tell you." 

He smirked, but otherwise ignored the exchange. "Moony, come on." The other man just kept looking out across the clubrooms. "You don't want to live in that kind of environment. He'll be toxic. You know how jealous he gets." 

"You did say he wasn't good at sharing," Lily observed. "What's he think of me?" 

“Loves you,” James sounded bitter.

“Thinks you're brilliant," Remus grinned. 

“Says you're too good for me.” 

"Reckons if he wasn't with Marlene he'd steal you from Prongs." 

"He could try."

“Don’t challenge him. He’d do it.” 

"I'm not yours to steal," Lily told James with a stern look. When he held her gaze, she softened, "Yet." She turned to Remus, "So, they're together now? Not just shagging?" 

"He won't tell us." 

"Says we're a nosey bunch of birds for even asking." 

"But either she's at ours, or he's at hers," Remus screwed up his nose. "Which doesn't sound all that casual to me." 

"Interesting," Tonks was looking between the two friends. "This is the bum and the hot one?" 

"He's not a -" 

"Yes. Absolutely, yes. The bum and the hot one," it was Lily's turn to smirk as she cut James off. Then she started and looked at Tonks more closely. "Wait, if she's the hot one, what does that make me?" 

"The redhead." 

Lily frowned, "Oh." She looked extremely disappointed. 

“The smoking redhead,” Tonks amended with a wink. 

Lily clearly tried not to look too pleased with the clarification. “Oh.” 

James poked her in the side. "Quit fishing for compliments. You know you're beautiful, Evans." 

"Oi! No touching," Lily placed a hand over her side, but James could see the twitching at the ends of her lips. "And you're biased." 

"Hardly," he scoffed. "I'm just a student in your class." 

He knew he'd said the wrong thing when Lily's expression sobered, her body stiffened. Her eyes flicked around them.  

"Sorry, I-" 

"It's fine," Lily interrupted him again. She motioned to her empty wine glass. "I need a new drink anyway." 

"I'll come too," Tonk obligingly swallowed the remaining liquid in her own glass, turned and followed her into the crowd. 

“Mate,” Remus began, but James didn’t need him to finish. 

“I know. Fuck.” 

“That about covers it.” 

“As if I need to remind her she shouldn’t even really bloody be here. As if we aren’t walking a fine enough line.” 

“You didn’t mean it.” Now that he could see the concern, the distraught on James’ face, the earlier warning had left Remus’ tone. “She knows that.” 

“She’ll be on edge now. I’ll be lucky if she hasn’t left.” 

Lily didn’t leave. But she didn’t come back to join them. 

“I think she saw a couple of other people she knew,” Tonks grimaced apologetically as she returned, fresh wine in hand. “And she might have thought some distance would be good for a little bit.” 

“Great,” James rubbed his forehead tiredly. “Bloody great.” 

“You two really do project some heat, don’t you?” Tonks looked impressed as she sipped her drink. 

“It’s more like a burn,” James told her, quite serious, though it had the other two both huff a laugh. Which only made him frown. 

“I’m sorry, Prongs,” Remus tried consoling again. “You just sounded so miserable when you said it.” 

Tonks was more brutal. “He probably deserves to be right now, really. She looked a bit sick when we stood at the bar. That was a dumb thing to say.” 

“I know, I-” 

She continued as if he hadn’t spoken, “I mean really, if you wanted to remind her of your unavailability to her in this present moment, surrounded by a herd of gorgeous, strapping, rugby playing men, then well done.” 

James just stared at her. But it wasn’t over. 

“I mean, she doesn’t have to look far to find someone to take the edge off of things, does she? You have to wait until the end of term, all because you wanted to play with a chemistry set. She can find someone to experiment with, tonight.” 

He faltered. 

Felt a bit sick at the idea of Lily taking someone else home. 

Dismissed the idea. 

She wouldn’t. 

But maybe? 

“Oh, you’re kidding.” His body almost slumped in relief as he realised that both Tonks and Remus were hiding smiles. 

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not,” Tonks’ smile was so wicked, so full of mischief, James could have sworn she was related to Sirius in some way. 

“Very funny,” he turned a flare at Remus. “You didn’t mention she was like this.” 

“Didn’t I?” Remus’ eyes twinkled. “How odd.” 

“It’s almost like he didn’t want you to know he’d given me just enough background to hang you out to dry,” Tonks sipped at her wine, an innocent expression playing across her face. 

James didn’t believe her for a second. “He wouldn’t.” 

She relented, “You’re right. He wouldn’t.” She took another sip, clearly relishing both boys' attentions. “But Lily would.” 

“Now that, I definitely believe.” He rubbed his forehead again, a hand sifting through his hair to tug at the strands in exasperation. 

Tonks started giggling so hard that she stumbled over her own feet. Remus caught her around the waist and pulled her into his side. She wrapped her arm around him in turn, smiling up at him gratefully. 

“Thanks.” 

“Of course.” 

James wasn’t sure when he’d ever seen Remus so happy. Almost carefree. It made his chest feel like bursting to see it. 

Which in turn made him feel even more like shit when he realised the other emotion that flared so strongly alongside that happiness. 

He was jealous. 

Disgustingly so. 

Jealous that Remus and Tonks got to flirt openly, stand next to each other, go on dates for lunch, for coffee, for dinner. Jealous that she’d probably start coming around their suite, hang out with the lads, get to know them outside of the trivia nights. Jealous that Remus could hold her, lay claim to her, make it clear that no one else could come near her. 

Fuck, but James wanted that. 

As much as he lusted after Lily, as much as he wanted to kiss her, touch her, do a wealth of unmentionable things to her, he just wanted those little parts too. Everything that made up a relationship. Sharing his life with another person, the good, the bad. He wanted to be able to do that with her. Without having to hide, hold himself back, restrain himself.  

He’d never really wanted it before. 

Never got the appeal. 

But he did now. 

He wanted it all now. 

With her. 

By the time James had consciously realised all these thoughts, dealt with them, pushed the jealousy aside and focused on his happiness for his friend instead, the moment between Remus and Tonks had passed. No longer touching, but standing closer to each other than they had previously, Remus was recounting some of the best bits of the match to her. 

“You should have seen it, every time they thought they had him cornered, James would find a gap. They looked like tortoises out there, trying to chase him.” 

“Durmstrang have never been the quickest team,” James pointed out, rejoining the conversation as if he’d not stood there for minutes in his own world. “Just the dirtiest.” 

“Well, they certainly were that,” Remus’ expression darkened. “It took five of them to take him out.” 

“Looks like a herd of elephants ran over you,” Tonks grimaced. “Wearing spiked shoes.” 

“Felt like it,” James touched his neck gingerly. 

“Were you knocked out?” Remus asked. 

He shook his head quickly, “No, no, that was the first thing Poppy asked me too.” He motioned to his beer. “She wouldn’t be letting me have this if I had. McLanden on the other hand.” 

They followed his gaze to where the diminutive physio was taking a pint out of one of the team’s burly forwards. It was a hilarious thing to see the large man cower under her harsh gaze and cutting words. They couldn’t hear what she said to him, but he nodded pitifully, dutifully, and it must have satisfied her, for Poppy turned away, heading back toward her own mates, pint still in hand. 

James caught her eye and tipped his near-empty glass to her as she went. Poppy changed tack, pushing through a couple of groups of players and supporters to stand next to him. 

“Here, Potter. You look like you need a fresh one, and Dave should know better,” she shook her head sternly. “As if I wouldn’t notice when I just spent half my day PTA’ing him.” 

“Concussion questions,” James explained to Remus and Tonks, who looked confused. “He alright, do you think?” 

“He didn’t lose consciousness, so he should be fine. He’s passed the tests, appears at baseline now, so we didn’t need to send him for a scan. I’ll ring him in the morning though, check that that’s still the case.” 

James finished his drink, placed it on the bar leaner behind him, and took the fresh one from Poppy. “What would we do without you, Pops?” 

“I’ve told you not to call me that,” she scowled at him. She reached up without warning to prod at his neck, ignoring his wincing as she pressed along his spine. “Still tender, huh? You’ll come see me on Monday before training?” 

“Yeah, of course,” James nodded. “I’m sure it’ll be fine by then though.” 

“Even still, don’t stand me up,” Poppy waited until he nodded, before smiling at his friends, who were watching on with amusement. “Have a good night, guys.” 

“You too, Pops.” James was sure she didn’t mean to stand on his foot as she left them to start enjoying her evening. Even if he was pretty sure that, like all physiotherapists, she had a strong sadistic streak running through her. 

Monday was going to hurt. 

James stayed with Remus and Tonks a little while longer, discussing the game, the season with them. They talked about the trivia nights, and James was delighted to find that Tonks was even funnier when she wasn’t working and didn’t have to mind her language quite so much. She had them both laughing with stories of the pub and the characters that frequented it. 

But after a while, his jealousy started to kick back in. His happiness for his friend overrode it, so he told himself that he was just giving them more time to get to know each other. A relationship needed that in the early stages. Incidental, casual contact to build up rapport and memories and stories together. The kind he and Lily couldn't have right now. So it was easier to move away from them with the excuse of giving them that time, rather than let the jealousy, or worse, self pity take hold.

It was easier to go and rib out the Prewitt twins. He stood with Fabian as they watched Gideon try and crack onto a bird at the bar, laughing uproariously when he failed spectacularly at getting her number. It was even funnier later, when Fabian tried on the same girl, who was clearly unaware they were twins, and thought she was dealing with the same pushy gentleman. Her look of disgust and scathing had Fabian sinking back to the others. 

"I didn't even realise she was the same one," he said. "What the hell did you say to her the first time, bro? She was pissed."

"I, uh," Gideon scratched the back of his neck, looking sheepish, "I might have used that line about the solar system." 

James snickered as Fabian looked despairing. "I swear to God, I am never going to get laid with you around. We should have gone to separate unis." 

"Oh, come on, you love me really," Gideon was unbothered by his brother's admonishment. "And we were a package deal to the Dragons." 

"One they'll regret every day until you both graduate," James shook his head tiredly. "Naw, you love us, Cap. Look, I'll even get another round in," Gideon took his empty glass. 

James relinquished it readily, "Least you could do."

It was easier but not quite as fun to end up at the table with some of the old mates that made up the clubs fundraising committee. Half alumni, half affluent members of the local community near the uni campus, they wanted details on the game, the plan for the team, chances of making it to finals this year.

Definitely not as fun bearing the brunt of their fussing and focus on his national and international experiences. They wanted to know about the Olympics and Commonwealth experience; who he’d met, how it had felt to come home with a silver medal and no less than five professional offers at eighteen years old. 

"Well, I was about to sit my final exams, so I was pretty focused on that," he said honestly. "Mum would have killed me if I hadn't got the marks for uni." 

"But think of the money, boy. The sponsorships, and fame, the prestige," one of the men, only in his mid forties rubbed his hands together at the mere thought of it all. 

James rubbed the back of his head, as he responded. "It just wasn't what I was there for. I played because I loved it." 

"What did your parents think? All that investment?" One of the older men pressed now. 

"They wanted me to be happy," James shrugged. He was reminded again by the disbelief on the group's faces how rare the unwavering support of his parents was. Hadn't he seen many a teammate struggle under the pressure to perform, their parents the main driver of their relentless pursuit of perfection? Those expectations had never been placed on him. 

"What about after university? Once you get your degree? Surely, then?" 

James thought, tried to imagine his life. He really couldn't think much past the end of the semester. 

Funny that. 

"That's a long time away. Right now, I'm focused on the Dragons, my classes, getting the uni experience," he picked up his pint from the table, turning on his most charming smile. "And on that note, I'll get back to it. Have a good evening." 

What he was, was focused on Lily. 

He’d been away from her too long and every part of him needed to see her. 

But even from his height, being taller than most, he couldn't see her in the crowded room. Her hair was always attention grabbing, so he was pretty sure she wasn't in the bar area anymore. She could have left, but even after his dumb, thoughtless words, he was pretty sure she wouldn't have gone without a goodbye. Maybe she was just in the loo. 

Not really wanting to talk to anyone else in the room, and not wanting to return to Remus and Tonks just yet, James moved out onto the wide balcony that overlooked the pitch. The lights were dim against the now darkened sky and it took several moments for James' eyes to adjust. When they did, and he took the scene in before him, he rather wished he hadn't. It felt like he'd been kicked in the gut. 

Michael Bell, serial philanderer, stood down the far end of the balcony. From his rich, throaty chuckle and softer tones that drifted down to James, it was clear he was on the pull. He had a hand on either side of the girl, holding her against the balcony. His head was inclined down towards her, her hands rested on his chest. 

The girl was Lily. 

James had several realisations very quickly. One, he never, ever wanted to see another man standing that close to her, ever again. Two, he really, really wanted to deck his scrum-half for being that close to Lily. Three, there was no way he could go over there and say that. He stood frozen in place, his brain overloading as he tried to make sense of it all. 

"God, you're gorgeous. Come home with me." 

"I'll pass, if it's all the same to you."

Now that he could hear her words, he also realised, again belatedly, that her tone was sharp. In contrast to Michael's clearly flirty approach, Lily's could be described as acidic. And her hands weren't resisting on his chest, they were pushing on it. 

"I'll make it worth your while." 

"I've said it more than once now, back off. I'm not interested." 

James felt elated. It wasn't what he thought. 

"Oh, come on, don't be like that. We're just getting to know each other." 

That elation was quickly replaced by anger.

"I don't think I want to know you, if it's all the same." 

"I think you do." 

"No, I really don't." 

Before James could move closer - to do what he hadn't exactly worked out; pull him off her? Deck him? Drag Lily away and enlist Sirius into a full security detail until the end of the semester - Lily had shoved Michael back with all her strength. She managed to get him to take two steps back, his hands lifting from the railing. Lily took several steps away from him, out of reach before he could regain his balance. 

"Don’t be like that. We were having fun." 

"I was getting some air. You were being a creep."

Even with his poor sight, shadowy balcony and the distance between James and Michael, he could see the exact moment that Michael realised Lily was not kidding, wasn't into him and really, really wanted to get away from him. Apparently, if his face was to be believed, this was a first for him. It paled with shock and disbelief, before morphing into a darker, much uglier sneer. 

"You think you're pretty fit, huh?" 

Lily didn't even look surprised by the turn in his behaviour. "Not as much as you, apparently. God's gift, are we?" 

"And she thinks she's clever too," Michael took a lurching step forward. 

James felt himself start to jump into action, but Lily moved before he could. 

She threw her drink at him, splashing the wine straight in his face. "Oh, I think you need to clean off. I'm just so clumsy sometimes." 

Michael scowled ever harder, wiping at the dripping sticky liquid. "You're probably shit in bed anyway." He turned and departed down the external stairs back toward the change rooms, presumably to clean off. James hoped he'd head home from there. 

He wasn't sure what he'd do if he saw him again tonight. 

"Charming," Lily said dryly as she watched him depart. She looked down at her empty glass, shrugged, and turned toward the door to inside. She froze when she saw James standing in her path. "Hi." 

"Hey." 

Her nose scrunched as she winced. "How much of that did you see?" 

"Enough." James watched her, unmoving, trying to determine her mood. 

"Great," Lily sighed. "Wonderful. I need another drink." She started to walk again, to step past him. 

James held out his glass instead. "Here. Have mine." 

She took it, careful not to let her fingers brush his, James noted. "Thanks." He tried not to watch her lips as she took a sip. "That's a fancy whiskey."

"The Old Boys Club bought it for me. Call it a peace offering," James moved a bit closer to her. "Alright, Evans?" 

"Yeah." She moved back, leaning against the railing again. James moved as well, staying within reaching distance. Touching distance, seeing he liked torture himself. "It's been a night." 

"I'm sorry for before." 

"It's fine," she shook his apology off, taking another sip of whiskey. "You didn't mean it." 

"I was thoughtless. Something I don't want to be with you," he reached toward her, but made his hand fall back down before he could make contact. "I'm sorry for it." 

"Apology accepted," a small smile, her eyes meeting his, was all it took for James' heart to relax. He hadn't even been aware it was tense. 

"So, I see you met Michael," James indicated towards the stairs. 

"Yeah, your scrum half is a real charmer," another sip of whiskey, more of a gulp, actually, a bit more strength in her tone now. 

"Bragged to me earlier he'd been dumped for cheating. Cause his girlfriend didn't want a polygamous relationship." 

"Christ, what a catch," Lily rolled her eyes. Took another gulp of whiskey. "He was wrong, you know." 

James was surprised to find she'd emptied the glass. "Jesus, Evans, that's meant to be sipped. It's pretty strong."

"I'm pretty strong. It's been a night." 

"Fair enough. I'll get you some water though, I know you've had wine as well," James could already see her eyes weren't as clear as they were before, her voice not as crisp.

"No," Lily reached out, pulled on his jacket edge. "I'm fine. You didn't ask me what he was wrong about." 

"I didn't know we were making a list," James tried to focus as she grabbed a belt loop.on his trousers and tugged enough that he took another step forward. Closer. "Evans." 

"Ask me."

"Ask you what?" James couldn't focus this close to her, on a darkened balcony, no one around. It was a lot. 

Lily was about to make it more. 

"Ask me what he was wrong about." 

James sighed, she wasn't going to give up until he asked. But by the grin on her face, pure mischief, he wasn't going to like the answer. "What was he wrong about?" 

Lily trailed a hand down James' chest, her finger tip catching on a shirt button. "I'm great in bed." 

James felt heat flood his body. His throat tightened, as did other areas, making him choke on his words. "I'm sure." 

"I really am." She leant back against the railing, allowing it to take her weight as she raised both arms above her head. "I'm very bendy."

"Evans-" James thought she might have been trying to kill him. 

She wasn't finished. 

"I'm like a pretzel. A twisty pretzel." Lily's arms crossed over her head, as did her ankles. 

She had to be trying to stop his heart at least. 

"But I'm not shy, you know," she took a step forward, stumbling slightly as she tried to keep her ankles intertwined. Her hand returned his chest, grasping at his shirt until her fingernails scratched at the skin underneath. "I'm like a bobcat." 

He might as well be dead. 

"Is that right?" 

"Uhuh," Lily carried on, oblivious to James' struggle. "A twisty, bobcat kind of pretzel," she nodded, quite seriously, still needling at his shirt. More like a kitten, than a bobcat, but who was James to argue with her? 

"That's great, Evans, truly," he put his hands on her waist, using strength he didn't know he had to push her gently away. "I can't wait to find out one day. But I think in the meantime, we should probably get you home." 

"Probably." 

"You feeling okay?" He didn't let go as she wobbled, just slightly. 

"I had a lot of wine," Lily nodded, even as her hands clenched over his, holding them in place on her hips. "I was trying to forget." 

James winced, "That was my bad. You know I didn't mean it, yeah?" 

"I know. I just don't want to be reminded sometimes, you know?" 

He really did. "I'm with you. I'll find Remus to walk you home." 

"You can walk me home." Lily blinked up at him with such innocence, James could have been forgiven for forgetting why that would be a bad idea. 

"I can't, Evans. Hold on, I'll just duck inside and get him."

"That might be hard."

"Why's that?" 

Lily was staring over the side of the balcony. She pointed in the direction of the car park. "He's leaving with Tonks." 

"Really?" James rushed to look over, sighing in disappointment as he confirmed it. "Damn." As he'd moved his hands had left Lily's waist, but she'd caught one in both of hers, and he smiled as he returned the squeeze she gave him. "Flatmates at home? Could they come get you?" 

She shook her head before he'd finished speaking, "Out at the same rainbow bar, other side of town." 

James regarded her. Lily stood, but slightly unsteady, eyes still a bit blurred, focused on his hands as she played with it. She was tipsy at best, not drunk, but he couldn't, he wouldn't, send her home on her own. 

"Well, I guess it's time you tell me where you live, Evans." 

She smiled happily, linking her arm through his. James tried not to enjoy it. Tried not to reveal in the closeness of her. Tried not to think about how he'd get to keep her close for the next fifteen to twenty minutes as he walked her home. 

He failed spectacularly. His fingers linked with hers, squeezing gently. 

"Lead on, Evans." 

She looked up at him, all innocence and mischief at once. "Can we get pretzels?"

Chapter Text

"Thermodynamics.” 

Lily stood at the front of the class, waiting for them to all realise she’d spoken. They were rowdy this side of the semester break. Recovered from the trials, tribulations and terrors of mid-semester exams. Drunk on the boisterousness and debauchery of the holidays and celebrations that followed. 

Completely and utterly uninterested in chemistry. 

Except one, of course. 

While his classmates carried on like a bunch of lunatics, James sat quietly at his bench. His attention wavered between her and his phone, flat against the bench, but Lily wasn’t worried about that. She knew if he kept it on her too long, she’d catch his eye, and neither of them would be able to control themselves after that. And apparently, she just lit up when he was around. 

Well, that’s what Mary kept telling her. 

Every damn day since James had walked her home from the rugby game. 

Turns out Mary hadn’t gone to the bar with Kingsley that night. So she’d been home when James and Lily had arrived back at her flat. Lily’s memory was a little fuzzy, but she couldn’t forget the shit eating grin on her friend’s face when she looked up from her glass of wine, chocolate and Ever After . 

“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” she’d crowed, dusting off her hands and pausing the movie. 

Lily had stumbled her way toward the kitchen, pulling a glass from the draining rack and filling it straight from the tap. She waved a hand between them. “Mary, James. James, Mary, You can talk about how much you both love me.” 

James had apparently flushed scarlet, according to Mary. Lily hadn't noticed, too busy guzzling water. 

“Nice to meet you, James,” Mary had studied him over her wine. “Didn’t know you two had progressed to the L word.” 

“Neither did I. But it’s nice to meet you, too,” James had ruffled his hair, looking extremely uncomfortable. “Lily had a bit too much to drink, so I walked her home.” 

“How chivalrous of you,” Mary had raised her eyebrow. “You staying?” 

James had shaken his head, “Not the best idea, I’m afraid. Just wanted to make sure Lily was okay.” He turned to where Lily was sitting on the bench, refilling her glass. “Alright, Evans?” 

Lily had nodded, “Great, thank you. You’re in my house.” 

James had grinned, “I am.” 

“You’re not meant to be here,” she’d kicked her feet out, sipping her water, smiling at him. 

If Mary was to be believed, James had gravitated toward her like a magnet to iron, cobalt or nickel. Well, that wasn’t the metaphor Mary had used, but she didn’t teach Chemistry. He’d stood in front of her, stepping between her knees, his hands resting lightly on her thighs. 

Lily couldn’t remember much, but she did remember how good it had felt to have him so close. 

His fingers had sunk into her, squeezing gently as he leant forward. “I definitely should not be here.” 

Her fingers had curled into his hair, pushed it back off his face. “We shouldn’t do anything stupid. It’d be bad.” 

“It would,” his forehead had brushed hers. 

“You two are lucky I’m here to chaperone,” Mary’s voice had interrupted them from the couch. “Who knows what you’d get up to if I wasn’t around.” 

James had sighed, pulling back with a twisted smile. His hands had smoothed up her legs to curve around her hips. “Come on,” he'd said, pulling her toward the edge of the benchtop, until he could lift her down. “We’ll go sit with her.” 

Lily had smiled slyly as she’d let her body drag down his until her feet hit the ground. She remembered the zings and the sparks she’d felt against him. His sharp intake of breath had let her know he’d felt it too, his hand clenched on her hip, holding her in place. 

“Tease,” James had murmured. 

“You’re just figuring that out?” Lily had winked at him, before sliding out from between him and the bench, throwing herself on the couch with Mary. 

“Hello, love,” her friend had accepted her cuddle with a smile, and a return squeeze. “Wine?” 

Lily had shaken her head as she burrowed under Mary’s blanket with her. “I’ve had enough.” 

“That’s not like you.” 

“Mmmm,” Lily then buried her face into her friend’s shoulder, eyes closed. 

“My fault,” James had said, taking a seat on the other couch. “I said something stupid.” 

“I was looking for an excuse,” Lily had argued, eyes still squeezed shut. “I thought it’d be easier to ignore you if I was mad. Or drunk. Or both.” 

“And was it?” Mary had asked the question before James had. 

“Nope,” Lily’s eyes had opened, catching his instantly, as if she’d never looked away. “Not for a second.” 

James had smiled, his eyes sparkling, and apparently, this is when it had happened. This is when Mary had said she lit up like a Christmas tree. Their eyes had held for long moments, everything that they couldn’t say, couldn’t do, couldn’t be, rushing between them. 

“Jesus,” Mary had interrupted, breaking their moment. “Marlene was right, you two are nauseating.” 

“Why does everyone say that?” Lily asked, glaring at her friend. “We’re not doing anything.” 

James had shrugged, “No idea.” But he’d winked at Mary, who had cackled. 

“Oi,” Lily had looked between them, aghast. “You two aren’t allowed to gang up on me.” 

“We’re not, Lil,” Mary had pulled Lily back against her, arm around her shoulders. “Promise.” 

“You lie,” Lily had managed to sound petulant, even as she snuggled in. 

She didn’t remember anything after that. Mary said she’d fallen asleep pretty quickly. James had stayed for a bit, chatting to Mary. At least that’s what her flatmate had said. Lily had a sneaking suspicion that Mary had grilled him, interrogated him within an inch of his life. Whatever he'd said, though, James must have won her approval because Mary had brought her a cup of tea in the morning, with a generosity towards Lily's hangover she didn't often show. There had even been shortbread. 

"This is a treat," Lily had noted, pulling herself up into the pillows. "Thank you." 

"That man of yours is a treat," Mary had grinned, tucking herself under Lily's covers next to her, her own mug in hand. "And coming from me, that's saying something." 

"Bigger compliments have never been bestowed," Lily acknowledged. "How did James earn his?" 

Mary had grinned wickedly, "Well, he did carry you to bed."

Lily had almost spat out her tea. "He did what?!" 

"Well, you were in no state to get yourself there. And he didn't want you to get cold." 

Lily had never wished more to be able to go back in time. How had she slept through the feeling of James carrying her? "Why didn't you wake me?" 

"And risk you having to walk there?" Mary had tutted. "What kind of friend do you take me for?"

"Well, when you put it that way," Lily muttered, returning her attention to dipping her shortbread in her tea. "Hardly seems fair, though. Story for my life at the moment." 

"Darling, when you have a man like that, with those kinds of muscles, and that amount of caring, when he can't even get a kiss as a reward, you can't really complain about fair." 

Lily had grumbled, but the smile that spread across her face matched the warmth that grew inside her as she contemplated the truth in Mary's words. "You might have a point." 

"I normally do."

Lily had continued to sip her tea, revelling in a daydream of what James's arms might have felt like, had she been awake to feel them. 

"So, do you think he's packing?" 

"Mary!" Lily had flushed, dabbing at her sheets where her tea had slopped over the side of the mug.  

"What? There has to be something wrong with him. It's got to be his wand." 

"I bloody hope not," Lily grimaced. "Or at least he better bloody know what to do with it after all this build up." 

Mary had laughed until she almost cried. The conversation had divulged after that, descending further and further into a shambles of giggles and euphemisms until Kingsley had given up trying to sleep on the other side of the wall and poked his head in to offer a greasy breakfast. 

It had been a perfect morning. 

Mid-semester break had been the opposite. 

Lily had made the hard but wise decision to travel north and go home. Her mum had never been quite the same since her dad's passing, and Petunia spent less and less time at home, as she was courted by a man that could only really be compared to a walrus. And that was being polite. To make it worse, her sister worked for him, if indirectly. It couldn't get more clichè. 

Still, seeing she was in a situation with someone who was technically, in a way, if you squinted and tilted your head, her student, she didn't really have a leg to stand on. 

It had still surprised her how much she had missed James. Given they weren't allowed to really spend any time together, talk to each other directly and unfettered, she hadn't expected it. But apparently, there was still a difference between seeing the object of your affections on a semi-regular, albeit constrained, basis compared to not seeing him at all. He'd also gone home, the opposite direction of Lily, and so Remus hadn't even been able to indulge her cravings with any Facetimes, with certain people in the background. 

He had been able to take the absolute mick out of her when he'd realised she was miserable, during a phone call to discuss the finer points of astrobiology for a paper.

"I thought I'd get a break during the hols, but you're both as bad as each other! Thank God he's doing most of his complaining to Sirius, at least." 

It was probably a terrible thing that that piece of information had cheered Lily up to no end, but she didn't let that get her down. 

And she'd needed cheering. Along with having to navigate awkward and increasingly vile encounters with Petunia, on the occasions she was home, Lily had also had to suffer through repeated attempts by her ex-best friend to get her to talk to him. 

"Lily, you don't know what he's like."

"No, but I know what you're like."

"He bullied me, Lily." 

"He was a kid. You're an adult. Grow up."

"Come on, you can't ignore me forever."

"Want to bet?" 

"Could you just stop walking so fast? It's not the kind of thing I want to shout over the river." 

Lily had spun, given up on trying to enjoy her walk in the rare afternoon sunshine. "From what I hear, you shouldn't be talking about it at all." 

Snape had scowled, "They forced me to sign that NDA." 

"You can't be forced to sign an NDA, Sev, you know that. There are witnesses. You have to be agreeable." 

"I was agreeable to not being expelled." 

"And that suggests that you weren't exactly innocent in the whole affair, were you?" 

"More innocent than your friend, Potter," Snape's sneer was vicious. "He almost got me-" 

Lily had shoved a hand in his face,  effectively cutting him off. "I don't want to know. I assume there's an NDA for a reason." 

"But Lily-" 

"Let it go, Snape. It's not going to change anything between us. You ruined our friendship on your own, and no amount of trashing a student in my class is going to fix that. I'm leaving. And if you try to follow me, I will scream." 

Snape had looked as if he wanted to challenge her again but caught sight of a nearby middle aged couple walking their golden retriever, and clearly thought better of it. Lily had fled before he could change his mind. 

He'd tried to corner her at the supermarket later in the week. She shoved her trolley at him, causing him to dive out of the way and knock over a display of loo rolls at the same time. By the time Snape had got himself out of the pile up, Lily had been back in her mum's car, pulling out of her park. She’d arrived home without the makings for dinner, but had been forgiven when she went out for Thai takeaway later that night. 

Now she was back at uni, back in the flat that Snape hadn't yet located, back in the classroom that he very much had. Lily had changed her number, again, changed her email, again, thought about changing her hair colour, but refused, again. She just had to hope he'd gotten the hint and given up. 

So, now she stood in front of her unruly lab class, trying to teach them about, well, Chemistry. 

"Thermodynamics," she tried again, slightly louder. 

Nothing. 

She caught James' eye despite herself and grimaced at him. He raised an eyebrow, Lily nodded, and he raised two fingers to his lips. A shrill whistle pierced the lab room, and thankfully, the student's chatter. 

"Thanks, Potter," she smiled faintly, trying not to show her gratitude too acutely. She kept her attention on the rest of the class. "Should we get started, so we can get out of here?" 

There was a murmur of approval, a stammering of applause, and Lily began the lesson. 

"So, following on from the lecture, today we're looking at thermodynamics. More specifically, exothermic and endothermic reactions. Can someone remind us what an exothermic reaction is? Emma?" 

"It's a chemical reaction that releases heat, so the surrounding area gets hotter." 

"Perfect, well done. Can someone else give us an example?" 

"Me on the dance floor, lighting everyone on fire." 

Lily couldn't help her grin as half the class laughed and the rest groaned. "Thanks for that, Gideon, but I've seen you dance, and that's definitely not exothermic." She waited for the laughs and jeers to die down before trying again. "Someone else want to have a go?" 

"The sun." 

"Thank you, Louis. Now, what about endothermic. Help us out, Fabian?" 

"Uh, endothermic, would be the opposite," Lily nodded encouragingly for him to continue. "So it would make the surroundings colder." 

"Yes, endothermic absorbs heat, so it makes something colder. Like melting an ice cube." 

"It makes your drink colder," a voice came from somewhere in the middle of the room. 

"Exactly. Always important." Lily slid back a whiteboard to reveal a table drawn on the one behind it. "This table shows our experiments for today. On the left, liquids. On the right, additives. Your job is to add the substance to the liquid and take note of the temperature before, during and after the reaction. Note the time of the reaction as well. There is space on page three hundred and ninety-four to graph your results, and note if it's an exothermic or endothermic reaction." 

Lily gave the class a few minutes to read over the board while she delivered boxes of materials to each bench and returned to the front of the room.

"Any questions? No, well, off you go then. Give us a shout if you need anything." 

The class burst into activity and noise, though thankfully much less than the earlier din. Lily placed herself at Slughorn’s desk, pulling up her university staff email account while she waited for everyone to get started, and possibly need her help. As lab's went, it was definitely one of the more straightforward experiments. 

She clicked through some university spam, deleted several unread emails for companies she'd signed up to win a competition, cleared her junk mail to stop the annoying space notification from coming up each day. There wasn't really anything else that needed a response, and she was about to close it down when a new email came through. 

From: Severus Snape Subject: Proof

Lily stared at the line in her email inbox for several moments. She looked up, her eyes going straight to James' bench. He wasn't watching her, focused on the thermometer in his beaker. Everyone was busy, working away, no one was paying attention to her. 

She bit down on her lip, held her breath, and selected the email. All it provided was a link to a newspaper article. Shaking her head, Lily clicked it. 

Private school prank goes horribly wrong.
Parents of the victim cry foul as privileged students only face suspension. 

As far as articles go, it was horribly redacted. The specific school wasn't mentioned, just that it was a private boys boarding school up to the north. The specific students weren't mentioned. Only that the victim was a scholarship student, and that the pranksters were the children of some extremely wealthy elite. 

Even the prank itself wasn't described in any detail that Lily could discern what happened. Something to do with an infectious student, a student sending another off to be infected by him. Apparently an infectious illness that could have been life threatening to the proclaimed victim. 

The ending of the story was confusing too. There appeared to be conflicting reports. The victim claimed that all the students involved in the prank had been out to kill him. He claimed all three had conspired, out of jealousy for his talent and intelligence. He wanted the students expelled, jailed, every quote full of hatred and a desire for retribution. 

But there were quotes from another student that contradicted that. Apparently, that student had been the one who stopped the victim at the last minute. At great risk to his own safety, he’d stopped the student from getting too close to the infected student. He’d alerted the school nurse immediately for help, and gone to the Headmaster to report it all. He claimed to have had no idea prior to the incident about the so-called prank, but the victim appeared to have insisted that he was the ringleader. Insisted that he was just saving his own skin.

The story ended quite abruptly, reporting a non-disclosure agreement had been signed and no further details could be revealed. The parents of the victim cried out for justice, but had settled for a sum rather than any criminal or civil charges. 

Non-disclosure agreement.

NDA. 

An NDA. 

Lily's eyes flicked up, as they always did, to James. Her mind worked furiously. Snape had sent her this link. James had mentioned an NDA. Snape hated James. Hated his friends, the Marauders, as their pub quiz team was known as, for an incident in their past. An incident at school. Private school.  

Lily pulled out her phone and took a picture of her screen. It was sent before she could even think about what she was doing. She paced to the back of the room, checking on progress vaguely as she went. Her phone buzzed in her hand, and she ducked behind the last bench to check it, out of view of the majority of the room. 

James: who is this

Shit, she'd forgotten about having to replace her phone number again.  

Lily: Lily. New number. 

James: where did you get that 

Lily: Is it about you? 

James: it was Snape wasnt it? Is he still bothering you? 

Lily: That doesn't answer my question.

James: i cant talk about it 

Lily: So it is about you. What the fuck happened? 

James: i cant talk about it

Lily: He said the other day that you tried to hurt him. This sounds even worse than that. 

James: it's not what it seems

James: Evans you can't really believe id put someone else in harms way 

Lily: I don't know what to believe. It sounds insane. 

James: i wish i could tell you 

James: he shouldn't have sent it to you

James: he's not meant to tell anyone either 

James: can you come over here please so i can see your face 

Lily looked up, still holding her phone, screen open to his message. James wasn't facing her, but she could see the tension in him from here. His shoulders were stiff, his head bowed. He'd given up on his experiment completely. 

She slowly made her way back toward the front of the room. In order to seem less conspicuous, she stopped at several benches, checking on progress and making suggestions. Most of the students were doing well and didn't need much, but Lily found herself dawdling. Her heart beat awkwardly in her chest, butterflies thumped in her stomach. A sense of dread and anxiety loomed over her. 

"You need to keep working," she said quietly, as she came to stand next to James. "What part are you up to?" 

"I don't care about the fucking experiment." 

"Potter." 

"Evans."

"Work." 

"No." 

"Start moving your hands so no one pays attention to us." 

They hadn't looked at each other since she'd approached him. Both their gazes remained fixed, hers on the board at the front of the room, his on the materials in front of him. She heard him give a weary sigh and start to work again. 

"You wanted me over here," Lily prompted when he was halfway through his next experiment. "Going to explain to me what that article is all about?" 

"You know I can't."

"Won't." 

" Can't ," James reiterated. "There's an N-"

"NDA," Lily cut him off. "You've said. Bloody convenient." 

"It's not convenient. It's necessary. It impacts people’s lives, reputations." James slammed a jar down on the table. From the look on his face, he hadn’t meant to do it. But his resolve hardened seconds later. "It's not just about you." 

"I didn't say it was," Lily's palms smarted as her nails dug into the softer skin as she clenched her hands. "I'm trying to understand. It looks bad, James." 

"I can't talk about this," his teeth were gritted so tightly Lily could barely make out his words. 

"Not even to defend yourself?" 

"No." 

"So, maybe there is nothing to defend. Maybe it's as it seems." 

James' expression was aghast and then scornful. "Well, if that's what you're willing to believe about me, it doesn't say much about us, does it." 

Lily cast a quick, furtive look around her. "Keep your voice down." 

"Why?" James snarled now. "What is there to discover? To see? Clearly nothing." 

She felt like she'd been slapped. "What are you saying?" 

James looked startled himself. "I'm not sure."

"James," Lily moved an infinitesimal step closer. 

He stepped back, "You don't trust me." 

"That's not-" 

"I mean, why would you? We barely know each other." 

"You can't, you don't mean-" Lily bit her lip. How had this escalated to here? How had it fallen apart this quickly? "I do trust you." 

"No, you don't," James didn't look at her now, focused on the solution in front of him. "We're fooling ourselves to think we could make this work." 

"James." She wanted to reach out. Wanted to take his hand. She couldn't. "I'm sorry. I just don't know what to think." 

"Apparently, you think the worst. Of me." 

"That article-" 

"Is only one side of the story. And it should never have been published." 

Lily glanced down at her phone, the screen long since blackened. The article sounded pretty grim. She couldn't imagine what his explanation was. Surely, it couldn't be true, what the article insinuated but people didn't just print things. The reporter would have done research, talked to sources. It couldn't all be fabricated. 

She stayed quiet, not knowing what else to do. A sense of despair, loss and hopelessness filled her. How could they move past this? James already seemed ready to throw in the towel, her lack of faith in him a very clear insult. 

"Last one," James muttered. He tipped the Epsom salts into the water, watching the thermometer while the reaction occurred. His hands cupped the beaker. "Endothermic."

"How can you tell?" Lily asked softly. 

He looked up at her, meeting her eyes for the first time since she'd come to the bench. "It feels cooler." 

It certainly does , Lily thought, shivering at the bleak look he gave her. But she couldn't say that. She had to remain professional, despite the ache in her heart. 

"Very good, Potter." She raised her voice so the rest would hear. "Class dismissed."

Chapter Text

James felt his heart sink, lower than he thought it could go, given it already lived in his boots these days, as Slughorn strode into the classroom on Friday. 

It had been three days. 

Three days. 

That was it. 

Three days since their last chemistry laboratory. Three days since Snape had sent Lily that bloody article, the one that said nothing while saying everything. Three days since she had looked at him with such doubt, horror, and possibly, disgust. Three days since they had had the closest thing to an argument they had ever had. A falling out, a disagreement, call it what you wanted, James called it a tragedy. Three days since he’d looked at her, feeling ice in his veins and concrete in his bones, letting the words of the experiment mirror the status of their relationship. 

The split, the separation, even when they weren’t allowed to be together, weren’t actually together, felt as real as any other break up.

Lily hadn’t come to trivia the following evening. James had been off his game, they’d lost appallingly, and to make it worse, the Ginger Ninjas had won. Gideon had lorded it over him something terrible at practise last night, until James had had his revenge and set the forward pack to sprints. Being the less nimble members of the team, the others had paid Gideon out something chronic for his folly, so James hadn’t need to.  

But she hadn’t come to trivia. Marlene had said she’d cried off studying, seeming unconcerned and unbothered, so clearly Lily had told her nothing. He’d also told the boys nothing. He wouldn’t bring up old wounds, wouldn’t speak of something that they never spoke of. He couldn’t let the past haunt them any further, bring back guilt and conflict and chaos. 

But that still left Lily. 

She hovered at the back of the classroom, which should have been his first clue that Slughorn would be in charge today. Had she been the lead, she would have been up the front, preparing the powerpoint and greeting everyone as they came in. He hadn’t looked, hadn’t made eye contact with her when he’d entered, but his sixth sense had given away her position in the classroom. 

It had physically hurt not to look at her. It physically hurt to know that they were on the outs. He hadn’t known her long, they hadn’t really begun anything yet. It shouldn’t hurt this much, feel this visceral. It felt like his heart had been torn in half, mad from wanting her and mad at her. 

He didn’t know how to get them back. 

He didn’t know if he wanted to get them back. 

How could she think the worst of him so automatically? So completely? She’d read one article, and immediately gone with the worst possible scenario. Hadn’t asked questions. Well, not the right ones anyway. That snivelling, slimy excuse for a man had fed her his bullshit hearsay article, that should never have seen the light of day given the amount of money his parents had paid to protect the truth, and she had believed it. At least enough to doubt him. 

How could they recover from that?

Why would he want them to recover from that?

Logic told him it was natural she’d be curious, natural that she’d ask questions. The article said enough to imply how bad the situation was, and it had been terrible. The accusations were serious. He would know. He lived through them. 

It wasn’t something he wanted to remember in a hurry. 

Nor talk about, even if there wasn’t an NDA. But the fact that there was an NDA meant he didn’t have to talk about it. Couldn’t talk about it. Even if he wanted to. Which he didn’t. Ever. Best put behind them, and all that. There was nothing to be gained by reliving that nightmare. 

Except, maybe, Lily. 

Would he break the contract for her? Risk all the penalties? Risk the secrets it protected, the trust of his friends? 

James didn’t know. 

Just the fact that he even considered it scared him half to death. 

He brought himself back to the present. Focused on Slughorn instead. 

“Teamwork. Precision. Patience,” the Professor said dramatically. He rubbed his hands together. “Those at the cornerstones of our lesson today. Students that can master these principles will succeed and be in the running for today’s prize.” 

“And what’s the prize, Professor?” Fabian, as always, was the one to ask. 

“The golden turnip,” Slughorn held it aloft proudly, seemingly oblivious to the groans and dismayed sighs filling the room. “Now, let me explain…” 

James half listened to the instructions. He’d been keeping up in Chemistry. Half so Lily wouldn’t think he was an idiot, half so he could make his dad proud, as he’d intended. He knew this lab. Knew what it entailed. 

Teamwork, indeed. 

So lost in his thoughts, James missed Slughorn sending them into action. He, therefore, jumped a mile when Lily appeared next to him. 

"I can do this without you," he said automatically. He almost felt bad when she flinched at his harsh tone. 

Almost. 

"You can't, actually," she said quietly. "Didn't you hear Slughorn? This lab is as much about teamwork as it is the science. We have to work together." 

"Great," James muttered through clenched teeth. He kept his eyes trained downward, flicking through the pages of his lab book for the page. Finding it, he read quickly. "I'll set up the titration. You prep the flasks." 

She didn't say anything, but James assumed she probably nodded, because she moved to do as he asked. The tasks kept them at separate ends of the bench.

James set up the clamp and attached the buret securely. A white tile was placed underneath for the flask to sit on, so they would be able to see the colour change to indicate the equivalence point. He then filled the burette with vinegar, which was to serve as their acid solution, according to what the text said. 

When he peaked a cautious glance to the other side of the bench he could see Lily had finished rinsing the flask with distilled water and was replacing it with sodium hydroxide, their base. A small frown marred her face, and given James knew she wouldn't be having trouble with the experiment, he knew it was likely to be them. 

Damn it, why did she get to be angry? Upset? 

If anything, James was the one who got to feel that way. It was his honour, his integrity that was in question. He was the one who wasn't given the benefit of the doubt. 

And she knew what Snape was like. She had told him several times about Snape, before and after they had both realised they knew him. He had harassed, threatened, stalked her. His values were absolutely fucked. She'd told him that. Had ended her friendship with him because of it. 

So why had she chosen to believe him over her? 

It galled James to no end. 

A sudden, desperate need to be away from her, before he could ask her about it took hold. 

“I’ll go get the phenolphthalein.” 

He left before she could tell him no. Tell him that he didn’t need to go and get it. Tell him that his trip to the back of the room was unnecessary. She didn’t need to tell him that. He already knew. 

The phenolphthalein had been right in front of him on the table. 

James took deep breaths as he made his way to the back of the room, making a show of slowly searching along the shelves, when it was clear the indicator they needed for the experiment was already out on the supply bench in front of him, ready for the students. He willed himself to calm. Told himself to look at this situation from her point of view, as his mum had always taught him. 

Lily had known James five minutes. He’d never felt closer, more naturally drawn to another person, besides the other Marauders. Besides Sirius really. Yet, they’d only known each other a short time and hadn’t spent that much time really getting to know each other. 

She’d clearly known Snape a long time. Grown up together. At one point, he had been the closest friend she’d had. Had presumably supported her through good and bad times, the pains of growing up, likely the agonies of broken hearts and the trials of being a teenager. He’d betrayed her trust more recently, but those memories of the friend she’d once known would linger. 

Hadn’t he felt the same when Sirius had betrayed them? 

Hadn’t their connection pulled him to forgive what should be unforgivable? 

How could he not understand if she felt the same? 

He let out a long exhale, his hands braced against the bench in front of him, his back to the room, his shoulders hunched. If they were going to survive this, he had to bridge this divide. It couldn’t be left until the end of the semester. It couldn’t be left until it was too late to repair and they drifted apart. 

He would go back, he would start to rebuild. Bit by bit. Little by little. He would earn her trust so that even though he couldn’t tell her what had really happened, she would know what kind of man he was. Believe that that article didn’t represent the whole story. Didn’t represent him. 

James turned, taking the phenolphthalein from the bench. Determination filled him. Off he went into battle. She was worth it, he was sure. He’d just -

“Hi, James.” 

He was interrupted from his thoughts by a voice from one of the last benches. He turned to see one of his classmates smiling at him. 

“Oh, hey, Hannah.”

“Hestia.” 

Oops. Why couldn’t he remember her name? “Of course, I’m so sorry, Hestia.” 

“It’s fine.” She shook off his apology quickly. 

James tried to smile back. “How's it going?”

“Good. Hard,” she puffed out a breath. “I’m not really good at this practical stuff.” 

“No?” James personally found the practical elements of chemistry far easier to grasp than the laborious memorising of formulae and extensive calculations. 

“I’m more of a book girl,” she shrugged.

“What’s your major?” 

“Literature, Classics, History,” her mouth twisted in a wry smile. “I haven’t really decided.” 

“Chemistry seems a bit of a diversion, then.” 

“Filled a gap and it made mum happy that I had a STEM subject in there. Keep my options open. She’s worried I won’t get a job if I study the arts.” 

James resisted the urge to say he felt the same as Hestia’s mum. Or, at least, that she’d be getting a job as a barista or in a clothing store, a far cry from the knowledge she’d have gained in her degree. It would be hypocritical, given he was in the arts as well. 

Hestia continued, unbothered by his lack of response to her career prospects. “Great game last week.” 

“Oh, yeah, cheers. Nice to get an easy win. No injuries either.” They’d smashed a team much lower down the table. James had only played sixty minutes, forgoing field time to give some of the less experienced players time to shine and enjoy the feel of a win. 

“You were sensational. You’re so talented.” 

He blinked at Hestia’s increasingly warm smile. “I did my bit. The team is great.” 

“But you’re the Captain. They’re pretty lucky to have you.” 

“I’m the lucky one.” When had she gotten so much closer to him? One second she’d been behind the bench, now she was in the space down the middle of the benches with him. 

“You must work them pretty hard. You’re all in such great shape.” 

James fought the impulse to jump back as her fingers grazed his shoulder, trailing down his bicep. He tried to subtly shift his weight back instead, out of her reach. “Coach sets the workouts, mostly.” 

“I’m sure you’ve got your own workouts, too. You must have great stamina.” 

He felt sweat break out along the back of his neck. Was she really hitting on him in the middle of a chemistry lab? He looked over her shoulder to her lab partner, Emma, who was focused on the experiment, adding the indicator to the white vinegar in the flask, ready for the base to be titrated to the point of a neutral ph balance. 

“I think Emma might be waiting for you to start.” 

Hestia didn’t even follow his gaze, dismissing her role without a blink. “She’s a science major, she’s fine.” 

“I hardly think that the point of the ex-” 

“We should go out sometime.” 

James’ eyes flew back to hers. “Sorry?” 

Hestia smiled, her eyelashes batting as she moved even closer to him. Her hand came to rest on his forearm. “We should go out sometime,” she repeated. “Get a drink together.” 

“Uh…” He stalled, tried to think of a good reason not to. 

Lily. 

That was a good reason.

Well, he hoped it was still a good reason. Even mad at her, he didn’t want to go out with another girl. Hadn’t even thought to look at another girl.  

But he couldn’t say that. 

“I’m pretty busy at the moment,” he tried to say lamely. “Practise, study, you know.” 

“I can work around you,” Hestia stroked back and forth along his arm. Her touch prickled him, irritating his skin. “I’m pretty available.”

Funny, when Lily had done something similar when they’d talked in the bar, the night they’d kissed, it had lit him on fire. Hestia’s touch left him feeling like lead. 

“Come on, Captain,” Hestia didn’t let up. “I’ve been told I’ve got pretty good stamina myself.” 

Jesus. 

She was coming on very strong. 

Unconsciously, he compared her to Lily again. She hadn’t held back on the sexual innuendo, right from those early texts, before they’d realised the potential consequences. James had enjoyed the banter, welcomed the advances. 

Hestia just made him uncomfortable. 

“I should probably get back to the experiment. The competition and all that,” he looked toward the front of the room, where Slughorn sat. The professor was focused on his laptop, not wandering the room like Lily would, not looking to make sure the students were learning as well as competing. “Don’t want Slughorn to think I’m slacking.” 

“Please, you’re the golden boy.” She wasn’t put off in the slightest, not ready to stop pursuing him. “He loves you.” 

“Still,” James’ gaze had moved from Slughorn to his own bench, and he was surprised to see Lily looking back at him. Her eyes were focused on where Hestia’s hand rested on his arm. 

Shit . 

He stepped back quickly, Hestia’s hand falling from his arm. He instantly felt better, but Lily had already turned around, busying herself with the experiment when she realised James had caught her looking. 

“Sorry, I really need to get a shift on. Got to be in it to win it, and all that.” His laughter sounded false even to his own ears and he internally cringed. He just wanted to be away from her. 

“But our drink, you’ll message me?” Hestia wasn’t letting go without a fight. 

“Yeah sure,” James knew immediately he’d said the wrong thing when Hestia smiled in satisfaction. Fuck . He didn’t want to go for a drink with her. He’d have to be honest, later. Before they even went for that drink. 

“Great.” Before he could stop her, she lifted the pen in her other hand and scrawled on James’ hand. He realised it was her number. “Text me. I’m pretty flexible.” 

He felt like choking as she winked and turned, moving confidently back to her own desk, without even turning back to him. His insides churned, and he fought not to go and wash his hand immediately as he returned to the front of the room. 

“I think we’re ready to titrate,” Lily said curtly the second he arrived. “What part do you want to do?” 

James’ heart ached at her tone. Even if he hadn’t already made up his mind to dampen his own feelings of injustice and righteousness over the whole article debacle, Hestia flirting with him would have reminded him how rare and special his feelings for Lily were. He wanted their banter back. 

He wanted her back. 

“I’ll work the burette, if you can handle the flask?” 

“Fine,” she pulled her stool over toward his set up, as far as she could manage while still being in reach of the experiment. 

James consulted his lab book before moving to the glass cylinder and placing his hand on the stopcock. “I’ll do a straight stream of about 20mls first?” 

“Sure.” 

He winced at her one word answers. But titration took time. He had time. “Let's do this then.” 

He opened the stopper and let the first amount of sodium chloride drain into the beaker, closing it quickly. Lily was ready, and swirled the beaker, immediately dissolving the pink colour that had appeared when the base hit the vinegar and indicator mix. 

“Great,” he shifted his stance, moving closer to Lily. He saw her head twitch, noticing his movement but she didn’t move away. “Thanks.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

“Ten mils now, I think.” 

Again he let the valve drain. Again she swilled the pink until the solution returned to its previous colour. Again he moved to make a note on his page, and then moved back, even closer than before. 

“Let’s do fives now.” 

“Sounds good.” Was her tone a bit warmer? 

By the time they’d done several rounds of five mil titrations, the pink colour wasn’t disappearing as quickly anymore. James was standing so close to her that he could smell her perfume, feel her arm brush past his to reach for the flask. Lily was no longer moving away between swirls, her shoulder at a distance she could have lent against him if she was so inclined. 

“We make a good team,” he commented. He’d glanced around the room to see many other partners were as close as they were, as one titrated and one handled the solution. Several were already drop titrating. “We need to hurry up though to win.” 

“Slow and steady wins the race,” Lily warned, but she shifted, bringing her stool closer. She was almost tucked under James’ arm now, leaning forward, hand poised on the flask. “But we can do this.” 

James grinned. She was as competitive as he was. He carefully opened the stopcock, setting it to allow one slow drip at a time. Lily moved the flask in a continuous motion as they watched the solution resolve back to clear each time. 

About ten drips in, Lily moved again. Her shoulder touched his side. He leant back, absorbing some of her weight reflexively, and then enthusiastically. It felt so bloody good to be near her. He saw her eyes close briefly, though her hand never stopped swirling the glass instrument. 

“Alright, Evans?”

Her lips curved into a smile, but she didn’t look up at him. Ever the professional. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Lily. That’s not -” 

“I know this isn’t the time or place. But I am.” 

“Thank you,” James’ swallow was probably audible to her. He’d been prepared to do the heavy lifting to get them past this. It was a relief to find he didn’t have to. “I, I just -” 

“You don’t have to say anything. I’m not going to ask anything.” 

“Okay,” he felt wary. Suspicious. This was too easy. 

“It’s in the past, yeah? Whatever it was?” 

“It is.” 

The solution was taking even longer now to dissolve the pink colouring, but there was still a way to go. 

“So it’s none of my business.” 

That kind of still sounded like she thought James might have done something wrong. “Um, yeah, I guess.” 

“You’ve probably changed since then.” 

“I definitely have.” The experience had changed him, that was for sure. Matured him quicker than he probably would have otherwise. 

“Then it really shouldn’t impact the present.” 

“No.” It really sounded like she thought he’d done something wrong. He felt a flash of anger, similar to the previous lab, build in him again. 

“So, I won’t let it.” Her eyes flicked to his momentarily, and she smiled at him. “I can let it go.” 

She could let this go? 

She could let this go? 

She could let this go ? 

It was as if Lily had forgotten she wasn’t the only one that had been upset. As if she thought he wasn't just as angry as her, albeit for a different reason. She had been mad that he wouldn’t tell her everything, that he was indicated in a story that made him sound the villain. 

She’d forgotten that James had been angry. Upset. That she’d questioned his very character. That she hadn’t trusted him. 

He willed himself to relax. Nothing had really changed from ten minutes ago when he’d decided to move them past it. He could let this go. He would let it go. He’d be the bigger person even if Lily thought that she was playing that role.

“Great.” He tried to project warmth into his voice. “Brilliant.” 

“Do you have a game on Saturday?” Lily’s focus was on the experiment but her head tilted toward him, her hair brushing his outstretched arm. 

“Yeah. Home again.” 

“Can I come?” 

Memories surged through him of what had happened last time she’d ended up at the clubrooms. He’d got to walk her home, see her apartment. “Of course.” 

“Cool.” 

“Try not to wander off this time, yeah?” he said quietly. He swapped hands, one aching from holding it up, ready to shut off the valve. “No going out on the balcony.” 

He’d expected a witty response. A dry quip about meeting people out on the balcony, given he’d found her out there too, along with the creeps. 

He got silence instead. 

When James looked down, taking his eyes off the dripping vinegar, he found Lily’s eyes trained on the hand that he rested on the table. More specifically, her eyes were trained on the number scrawled across the back of it. 

Fuck . 

“Are you going to call her?” she asked quietly, barely above a whisper. 

“Call who?” James didn’t even know why he tried to pretend. 

“Hestia,” her fingers brushed against his hand, against the pen marks. Her touch was soft, warm, and made him tingle pleasantly. “Will you call her?” 

“Why would I do that?” 

“Because you can. Because she wants you too.” 

“That’s not what I want.” 

“It’d be easier if you did,” she looked up at him, eyes bleak. “Don’t you think about that?” 

He hadn’t. Not even for a second. “No.” 

“It’d be okay if you did.” 

“I said I don’t.” He jerked back to see her better, removing his hand out from under hers. Dread filled him again. “Why, do you?” 

Her tone was as outraged as James felt.“No, of course not.” 

“Then why suggest it?” 

She tried to turn back to the experiment, avoid his question, but James didn’t let her. 

“Evans.” 

“I feel guilty.” 

They’d been down this road. James knew the path well. “Don’t.” 

“You could have anyone.” 

“So could you.” 

“Not like you, James. You’re the rugby captain. The good looking, lovely, kind, funny, friendly, almost fucking pretty much famous, rugby captain. There is no way you don’t know you’re a catch.” 

“I’m not a fish.” His lips quirked up. 

“Don’t joke.” Lily’s expression was pained. “I’d understand if you wanted to call her.” 

“I don’t.” 

“But -”

“Why can’t you trust me?” James frowned. “Why can’t you trust what I say?” 

“I do-” 

He ignored her protest, cut her off. “You don’t.” He sighed. “This is just like before.”

“It’s not.”

“It is. You don’t trust me.”

Lily was shaking her head, “That’s not what this is about.” 

“Oh, it absolutely is,” James ruffled his hair with both hands. Felt like pulling it out of his head. “It’s exactly what it’s about.” 

“James,” it was her turn to sound desperate, despairing. 

“Let’s just back to the experi- Fuck. Fuck .” 

James had torn his gaze from hers, back to the flask in her motionless hand. The solution was a dark pink, far darker than it should be, and growing darker by the second as the acid continued to drip through the burette. 

“Shit.” Lily swirled frantically as she also realised what had happened. The solution stayed pink. 

And just like that, the experiment had failed. There was no time to repeat it, Slughorn would call time any moment. 

They had failed. 

“James, I’m sorry,” Lily said sadly. 

“Don’t be." He felt like laughing, he was so bitter. 

They’d been so close. 

So close to being back on track. 

So close to winning the competition, too. 

Though, as competitive as he may be, James found he didn’t really care about that. 

Chapter Text

Good Lord, these dinners got worse every month.

I wonder if there's any more bread. 

Where's that waiter gone? 

I need a new drink. 

Probably skipped town, smart bloke. 

Still not back. I wish he'd taken me with him.

Would they notice if I drank their wine, too? 

Surely there wasn't much more one could say about drills in one evening. 

Has Petunia lost weight or has the elephant gotten bigger? 

It's so hard to tell. 

Maybe if I squint... 

"Lily, are you having a stroke?" 

"What?" Lily sat up so abruptly she banged her elbow on the edge of the table. She rubbed it gingerly, trying to focus on her sister. "Why do you think I'm having a stroke?" 

Petunia pursed her lips disapprovingly. "You weren't moving and your eyes had gone all funny."

Lily shook her head. "I'm fine. You were saying, Vernon?" 

Her brother-in-law needed no further encouragement and continued his one man monologue. Lily did her best to appear interested, easier said than done. She finally caught the eye of their waiter over Petunia's shoulder and motioned her glass, grinning when he gave her an understanding nod and made for the bar. 

"And then I played three rounds of golf with Bridges, paid for the best tee times, the course pro's caddy, bought the drinks and everything, and he goes and gives the job to some new guy. I earnt that promotion, put in the time." 

"Of course, you did, dear," Petunia's voice was so sickeningly sweet Lily felt like she might vomit. She would have been tempted, but the one saving grace of these torturous dinners was that the food was delicious, and the student in Lily was not prepared to waste it. 

"And then they have to give him all this time off, breaks throughout the day for his prayers, special headcovers for the workshop. I swear it was one of those forced HR hires, you know. Just to keep up appearances and all that." 

Something in Lily awoke, Vernon's words drifting into her subconscious and unsettling her. "I'm sorry, what?" 

Vernon paused, his eyes gleaming. She knew he thought she was too high and mighty, seeing she'd got into uni, and was teaching, no less. She'd heard him say as much to Petunia during a family dinner at their mums. "An HR hire. Someone as worldly as you must know what that means." 

Lily felt disgust common around this pitiful excuse for a man, take hold. "Explain it to me." 

"Well, big companies, like Grunnings, they've got to show that they’re equal opportunity, don't they? Got to show that they hire fairly, that they pick the best man, sorry, person for the job. So, sometimes, they've got to hire a person of colour rather than the more qualified person, so no one can accuse them of any wrongdoing, don't they?" 

"I see," Lily said slowly, aware she needed to choose her words carefully. Petunia was already looking at her with suspicion. "So, this man they chose over you, he's not qualified?" 

"Well, he has the right bits of paper doesn't he, they have to make it look legitimate, don't they?" 

"But he hasn't been working as long as you?" 

"Well, he's been at the company as long as I have, I think." Vernon seemed to grit his teeth. "But in a different area." 

"Was he in a lower position? Jumped up a few places?" Keep your tone light, Lily, light.

"He was the assistant department head as well, wasn't he, dear?" Petunia looked up at Vernon. "We met him at the executive Christmas party, didn't we? His wife, too. She complimented my shoes." 

Vernon looked almost furious at her addition, but there was nothing he could do. "Yes, that was him." 

"So, he's qualified, experienced, and already in a relevant position," Lily tilted her head, pretending not to notice the growing redness on his face. "Why do you think he didn't earn the position? Ah, thank you." She smiled gratefully at the waiter who had delivered her wine. 

Vernon was incandescent by this stage. "He didn't follow the proper way of doing things. I'm the one out there on the golf course. Entertaining him for dinner. Footing the bill for all those drinks. That's how you move up. He's done none of that." 

"Sounds like he was too busy working. Maybe you should try that." 

"Lily, Vernon works extremely hard. He provides us a very comfortable life," Petunia looked very unimpressed and Lily tried to check herself. She didn't want to upset her sister, again. 

"I'm not saying he doesn't. But maybe the way of doing things has changed since the fifties." 

"Nonsense. There's nothing wrong with doing deals on the golf course. This turbaned bloke is just for show." 

Lily felt her own anger boil over. "You're sounding a bit racist, Vernon. More than a bit, actually." 

"Lily!" 

"I am not a racist," Vernon hissed, spraying the table in front of him with spit. Lily moved her wine out of range. "I give to those World Vision people, don't I?" 

"I'm sure the tax breaks are phenomenal," Lily rolled her eyes. 

"How dare you. All I was trying to say is if it wasn't for that stupid policy, I'd have had the job. They were just trying to reach their quotas." 

"Whatever you need to tell yourself. But it sounds like maybe he just deserved it. You should think about that, Vermin." 

Shit.

"What did you just call me?" Vernon's eyes bugged out of his head. He stood abruptly. "I won't sit here and be treated like this. Come on, Petunia, we're going home." 

Casting her eyes around widely, Lily realised Petunia was more concerned with the scene her husband was making than with the actual issue. She rose with quiet dignity, a polite smile on her face. Her eyes, however, when they flashed to Lily, were pure venom. "We can never just have a nice dinner, can we, Lily? You've always got to ruin it. Always got to be right." 

"Me? Petunia, this isn't my fault. He-" 

"He is my husband," Petunia cut off Lily's spluttering, shaking her head. "Goodbye, Lily." 

Lily watched her sister follow Vernon through the restaurant, her back straight and her shoulders tight. She sighed as they didn't even stop at the front desk, continuing straight out the door. 

Guess I'm footing the bill then.

The cost of this meal would take out most of her grocery budget for a week. Petunia would know that. She always knew everything about money. Was obsessed with it. She'd done this on purpose, to hurt Lily the way it would hurt her the most. What Petunia didn't understand is that Lily would eat rice for a month if it meant she could speak her mind about her sorry excuse for a brother in law. 

Still full glass of wine in hand, Lily didn't bother to rush to leave. She pulled out her phone, tapping on it idly as she sipped and looked around the restaurant. They must have been louder in their argument than she thought, for many diners were looking back at her. Upturned frosty glares were balanced by sympathetic smiles and approving nods. 

She looked at her most recent messages. 

Remus: they won! Tight game, 45-42. Prongs drop kicked a goal in the final two minutes. 

Remus: you should have come. This is stupid. You both wanted you to be here. 

Remus: if your dinner gets done, we'll probably still be at the clubrooms until about 8. If you message me when you arrive, I'll meet you out front so you don't have to walk in alone. 

Lily had to smile at Remus' last message. The poor man had been pulling his hair out over the falling out between Lily and James. As much as he had complained about being the go between before, he seemed much more stressed that they weren't talking. They'd had a study session this morning and Lily had felt several times like he wanted to say more than he did. 

When she had returned from finding a book they needed in the stacks, he'd made his pitch.

"You should talk to him."

"Remus, he doesn't want to talk to me."

"He does.”

“Not right now, he doesn’t.” 

“He misses you."

"We're not even together, he can't miss me." 

"You know that's not true." 

"Remus."

"Lily."

"I don't even know what I would say."

"He needs to know you trust him." 

"How can I trust him when I don't even know what's going on?" 

"That's what trust is though, Lily. Believing in the other person even when you don't know the full story." 

"But what if it's something really bad?" 

"What if it's not? What if it's not what you think. What if actually, he was the hero of the piece?" 

Lily had looked at him with shrewd eyes. "You know something." 

Remus had sat back in his chair, his expression closed. "I do."

"What is it?"

"You know I can't tell you. Not all of it anyway." 

"Well, what can you tell me?"

Remus had looked so uncomfortable, so torn. 

"Remus, I'm not asking for your deepest and darkest here," Lily had tried to reassure him. "I just need a reason to trust him." 

"He's a good friend, Lily. The best. You can trust that," Remus' eyes had taken on a softened, painful expression. "I was very sick for a while when we were at school. James was there for me, every step of the way." 

Lily had contemplated this, quiet for long moments. She wanted to believe Remus. She did believe him. She knew deep down that James was the sort of man you wanted in your corner. But she'd been wrong about her judgments of people before. So wrong. The fact that it was all wrapped up in this current mess weighed on her mind. And just because he was a good friend didn't explain -

"What about Hestia?" The words had flown from her mouth before she'd processed the thought. 

Remus' eyebrows had risen. "Hestia?"

"One of the girls in the lab. He had her number on his hand yesterday." 

"I don't know about her. He didn't say anything to me." 

"She was touching him." Lily had known she sounded bitter. It was hard not to be when that was all she wanted to. To touch James. 

Remus had been silent, he looked thoughtful, contemplative. "Do you remember what I told you?" 

"You've told me a lot of things." 

"About James. Back at the start of all this. James and girls." 

Lily had frowned. "You said he didn't really have many girlfriends." 

"I said he doesn't ever really like girls. Not in any lasting way." Remus had looked at her. "He's not the type of guy whose head gets easily turned in another direction." 

"Yeah, but -" 

"He's not interested in her." 

"She was-" 

"What was he doing?" Remus hadn't even let her finish. 

"Not much. He wasn't moving away." 

"James is polite to a fault. And often clueless. He probably didn't even realise what was happening at first." 

"He's a good looking guy. He knew." 

"He's always been the quieter one. Sirius has been the more obvious, attention seeking bloke. James is still getting used to the idea he's a catch."

"He's not a fish." Lily had corrected dully, and felt a pain in her gut when she heard James’ voice in her head, saying it in yesterday's lab. 

“He’s more of a dolphin.” 

“Better that than a squid.” 

“Or a sea monkey.” 

Lily had snorted, Remus had smiled, and then both fell silent. Lily had scratched at her page. 

"So, he's not into Hestia?" 

"Did you really think he was?" 

She had sighed, "No." 

"Trust him, Lily." 

"It's not that easy." She had pursed her lips. Should she tell him about Snape? "He probably hates me by now." 

"He's hurt. Dishonesty is not something he's familiar with being accused of. He doesn't hate you." 

"He probably should." 

"James isn't like that. He just wants to know you trust him" 

Lily had collapsed forward, resting her head on her hands, burying her eyes with her palms. "I don’t even trust myself."  

And that really, was the crux of it all. She wanted to trust him, trust her gut, throw caution to the wind. But what - 

What if it happened all over again?  

She'd ignored her intuition, and it had left her devastated, distraught, a friendship in ruins. She wasn't sure she could handle that again. 

She sent Remus a text to fob him off, grateful for his support but not ready to face James again. 

Lily: Glad they had a win. Maybe I'll get there next time. Won't be able to make it, have a good one and a drink or two. Enjoy yourself!

Lily continued to sit, sipping at her wine and playing on her phone. Her tapping somehow found her on the rugby club's Instagram page, where whoever was in charge of social media had already uploaded some pictures from that day's game. 

Up the Dragons! Captain Potter showing his finest form, in more ways than one. 

It was pure insta porn, really. The first couple of photos were innocuous. James mid sprint, dodging a defender, scoring a try with the grace of a ballerina, hugging and high fiving teammates in celebration. 

The last picture not so much. 

Lily decided it had to have been taken at the end of the match. James had pulled his skin tight rugby shirt from his body, and appeared to be swapping it with a player from the other team. The afternoon sun that had graced the pitch highlighted the sweat covering his torso, which in turn drew her attention to his well defined stomach, chest, arms. 

Jesus Christ , did the man have to be so fit? 

It wasn't really fair. 

He didn't seem aware of the photographer as he smiled at the other player. Lily was struck again by his eyes, bright and clear without his glasses. While she much preferred him with them, she couldn't deny that without them, she positively ached to run her thumb over his exposed cheekbone. 

And her tongue over his abs. 

"Evans. Fancy seeing you here." 

Lily was startled, whacking her elbow hard for a second time, causing the last detriments of the meal to rattle. Diners, probably hoping for another round of drama with their main course, turned to look.  

"Sirius!" She snapped her phone shut quickly, but his knowing grin made her think that maybe he'd already walked behind her and seen it. "What are you doing here?"

"Definitely not perving on the Dragon's insta." 

Yup, he'd definitely caught her. 

Lily tried to brash it out. "I was checking the score." 

"Remus said he messaged you it." 

Caught. "I was just, I want to -" 

"Relax, Evans. I know Prongs is an absolute dish. You don't have to pretend you weren't saving that photo for later." 

"Sirius!" She couldn't have blushed harder.

"What? It's not like you don't look at him like that in public places anyway." Sirius was enjoying himself way too much.

"Remind me why you're here again? In this restaurant, dressed like a," Lily paused. Looked him over properly. "Actually, you're a bit sharper looking than usual. There isn't even a rip in your jeans! And has that shirt been pressed?"

Sirius frowned at her, clearly unamused. "Dinner with the folks."

"I thought you didn't get along with your family." 

"The Blacks, no. The Potters, I'd give my life for," Sirius nodded back over his shoulder, but Lily didn't bother to turn around. 

"James's parents? They're not, he's not-" Lily broke off. Okay, now she couldn't have blushed harder. She was sure of it. 

Sirius took pity on her. "He's not here." 

"Oh," Lily deflated. She wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed.

"We went and watched him play, and then came for dinner after. The clubrooms aren't quite their scene."

"Ah." Lily resisted the urge to look over her shoulder now. She desperately wanted a look at the couple that had raised a son like James, and inspired such affection in Sirius. His love for them was extremely clear and unabashed.

"Speaking of scenes," he looked at her curiously. "That was quite the commotion earlier." 

Lily paled. She hadn't really contemplated that someone she knew might see her, they were a bit far from campus. Because the Dursley's didn't do uni bars, obviously. "Uh, yeah. My brother in law is a bit of a jerk." 

"That's putting it mildly." 

"Yeah. I'm not sure what my sister sees in him. Well, actually, I do. Money," Lily clapped her hand over her mouth. "That was awful, I shouldn't have said that." 

"I've said far worse about my own family, believe me," Sirius smiled. She was reminded of James, they were so full of mischief. 

"I still shouldn't have said it. It normally goes a bit better than that. Mum's normally here to referee, but she wasn't well and I found out too late to cancel," Lily felt tired. "No doubt Petunia's already called her to complain." 

"Surely the woman who raised you isn't taken in by that walrus."

Lily couldn't help grinning, "I called him Vermin." 

"No, you didn't. You're too polite." 

"His name's Vernon. It just slipped out.”

“No it didn’t.” 

“It's my mum's fault. She started it." 

"I like her already." 

"She's great," Lily sighed. "And hopefully not mad enough that she'll pay me back for dinner, seeing they've left me the bill." 

Sirius winced, "Bit brutal." 

"Yeah. My sister’s never really forgiven me for having a brain, and wanting to use it. She wanted me to follow her path, become a secretary, find a husband at work, marry him.” 

“And then?” 

Lily bared her teeth in a sarcastic twist of a smile. “Become a housewife and tend my husband and kids, of course. What else?” 

“Jesus,” Sirius shook his head. 

“Yeah,” Lily shrugged. “Thankfully my mum was more supportive. Practically pushed me into uni, made sure I wanted more from life. So hopefully she backs me now.”

“And if she doesn’t?” 

“If not, there goes next week's alcohol budget. Probably the chocolate too." 

"Jesus, Evans, how will you live?" Sirius looked so aggrieved Lily couldn't help laughing. 

“Truer words,” Lily tried not to let it show as her mirth gave way to despair. She shouldn’t be laughing. Her sister hated her. 

“You know, we’ve actually got something in common here,” Sirius looked thoughtful. “Besides James.” 

Lily knew he was trying to make her smile again. “Terrible relations isn’t exactly the bonding experience I was hoping for.” 

“I know,” he acknowledged. “But it means I know how to help.” 

“Oh yeah,” Lily raised an eyebrow. “And how’s that?” 

“Distraction, my dear Evans, is key,” Sirius wiggled his eyebrows until she rolled her eyes at him and motioned for him to continue. “Why don’t you come back to my table?” 

“Your table?” Lily frowned, and then paled. “You mean, with James’ parents?” 

“Our parents,” Sirius nodded. “How about it?” 

“I don’t really think that’s appropriate. He’s barely speaking to me. It’ll be awkward.” 

“Nah,” he shrugged her off. “It’ll be fine. We’re friends too, aren’t we? I’ll just introduce you as a mate.” 

“You sure?” 

“I’m definitely serious,” Sirius didn’t even blink as Lily let out an audible, obnoxious groan. “So, are you going to sit here and drink wine alone, perving on James through social media, or are you going to come and meet the parents that spawned the object of your depraved desires?” 

Well, when he put it like that. 

Lily dutifully picked up her wine and her bag, throwing her phone inside. She followed Sirius across the dining floor to a round table where a well dressed couple sat. They were a bit older than Lily had expected, but they smiled warmly as Sirius came to a stop beside the table. Lily tried not to let the shock show on her face when he pulled out the empty chair next to his for her. 

“Mum, Dad, I found us someone else to talk to since you were getting bored of listening to me.” 

The man snorted, and Lily was overcome with how similar an expression she’d seen on his son’s face. The shock of messy, dark hair only added to the eerie sensation. It was like looking at James on a timewarp. Like someone had slipped him an aging potion. 

“Yes, dear, we do find your adventures quite dull. How thoughtful of you to find entertainment,” the woman rolled her eyes even as she turned her attention to Lily. “Hello, dear. I hope you haven’t accepted a date with him. I assure you, he’s not your type.” 

“He definitely is not,” Lily grinned back, liking them instantly. It really was kind of Sirius to bring her over. She already felt better. 

“I shudder to think of that reality. Lily, this is Fleamont and Euphemia Potter. Mum, Dad, this is Lily Evans, your future daughter in law.” 

Lily promptly choked on her wine. Sirius clapped on her back helpfully as he took his seat, a smug, unconcerned expression on his face as she struggled to regain her ability to breathe. 

“Lovely,” Fleamont smiled. “Pleasure to meet you, Lily. You can call me Monty.” 

“And I’m Effie,” Euphemia waved a well adorned hand. “Welcome to the family.” 

When she was finally able to do more than nod politely at the couple, Lily swung herself to glare at Sirius. “You said you wouldn’t make it awkward,” she hissed. 

“I’m not,” he shrugged, eyes full of mischief. “Now, you don’t need to pretend.” 

“I’m not sure if James mentioned he was getting married,” Effie tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Though he did mention a redhead he’d met in one of his classes recently. I suppose things could have escalated quickly. He is our son.” 

Lily could only squeak. 

“You must be the chemistry whiz,” Monty said, before Lily could rake Sirius over whatever coals she could find in the kitchen. “A TA in your freshman year, that’s quite impressive.” 

Lily abandoned her pursuit of destruction and focused on Monty. “Thank you. I don’t know about whiz, but I really enjoy it.” 

“James said you’re a great teacher,” Effie supplied. “He said you have this way of making it sound really simple and clear, better than the lecturers, even.” 

“He’s very kind,” Lily found it hard to make eye contact with them. Their son was less than impressed with her at the moment because she hadn’t been able to trust him. 

“He didn’t mention how beautiful you are, though,” Effie continued, narrowing her eyes. “It can’t have escaped his notice.” 

“It hasn’t,” Sirius confirmed. “I told you, future daughter in law.” 

“Will you stop,” Lily tried to make her low tone as threatening as possible, but Sirius ignored her, taking a sip from the whiskey glass in front of him. 

“I see,” Effie looked between them both. Lily wasn’t sure if she was suspicious or curious. “Who were you here with Lily? I assume it wasn’t on your own.” 

“My sister and her husband,” Lily answered. “They left.” She had the grace to look contrite. “We had a bit of a disagreement.” 

“She’s not telling you her brother in law is a racist bigot,” Sirius helped. 

Lily turned to look at him again, “You heard all that?” 

“I did,” Sirius nodded. “That reminds me, though.” He stood, nodding at his parents. “I’ll be right back.” 

He headed off in the direction of the washrooms and Lily tried not to feel nervous as she faced James’ parents alone. They looked understandably curious about her. 

“Sounds like you're well rid of the brother in law,” Effie commented. “Is there no hope they won’t last?” 

“She’s just as bad as him, unfortunately,” Lily sighed. “My mum’s great though. I wish she could have been here tonight.” 

“Then we might not have got to meet you. And it sounds like we’ve got some wedding planning to do,” Effie’s eyes were just so like her son’s as she teased Lily. 

“It’s not, we’re not-” 

“It’s alright,” Monty stuck his wife with a look. “James gets his humour from his mother, if you haven’t guessed. And Sirius likes to tease, but you should ask him about the first time he tried to ride a motorbike. He thought he could fly it.” 

“Good to know,” Lily tried to will her blush to cool. 

“Where are you from, dear?” Effie looked slightly abashed. “I’ll be good now, I promise.” 

Lily laughed, “That sounds like something James would say.” 

“The difference is, I can probably keep him in line,” Monty said. “I’ll do my best with Effie though.” 

“I’m being good!” 

“Yes dear, and long may it last,” Monty patted Effie’s hand on the table in a patronising fashion. “But, yes, to echo my wife, where are you from, dear?” 

It was an inquisition, but a gentle, kind one. And they performed it over a large sharing sized chocolate pudding, that they all dug into together. Lily answered their general questions about her hometown, her parents, her major, her studies. Sirius added questions of his own, but mostly just listened and was an unusual, charming version of himself that Lily couldn’t quite get over. 

“You know, I can almost see what Marlene sees in you when you act like this,” she told him. 

Sirius looked scandalised, “Take that back.” 

“Never,” Lily grinned. 

“Who’s Marlene?” Mia asked. 

“Lily’s best friend.” 

“Sirius’ girlfriend.” 

“Girlfriend, huh?” Monty sat back in his chair. “You’ve been holding out on us, son.” 

Sirius stuck Lily with a glare. “Traitor.” 

“Revenge is sweet,” Lily grinned at him, before turning back to Effie and Monty. “They like to pretend otherwise, but they’re almost never apart. It’s cute, really.”

“When do we get to meet her, then?” 

“She’s not, we’re not, that is-” Sirius squirmed in his seat under Effie’s expectant gaze. Eventually, he sighed. “I’ll ask her.” 

“You do that.” 

Lily looked at Effie admiringly. “How did you do that?” 

“Practise, dear, of course,” the older woman smiled benignly. “Spend enough time with Sirius and James, and you’ll get the hang of it.” 

“You didn’t come to the game today, did you?” Monty looked at Lily now, as if he’d just realised. 

She felt awkward at once, “No, I didn’t.” 

“They’ve had a lover’s tiff.”

“Sirius.”

“Don’t take me to war, Evans. You will lose.” 

Lily shook her head at him and looked back at Monty. “I, uh, might have upset James during the week.”  

“You’ll work it out,” Monty said gently. “James is very forgiving.” 

“It’s complicated,” Lily looked at her hands, holding the stem of her wine glass. She was surprised when Effie’s hand covered her own. 

“Most things in life worth having are.” Effie’s eyes held hers, and then flicked momentarily to Sirius. “I would know.” 

“Awww, I love you too, Mum.” 

“Not as much as I, you, dear.” Effie didn’t look back at Sirius, her eyes focused on Lily. “I know my son, Lily. I may be biased, but I raised him to be the very best of men. But he would have become one on his own anyway. It’s just in his nature. Kind, caring, honest, loyal to a fault. Brave and courageous and always, always, the one to do the right thing.” 

This was just so fitting with everything Lily had thought about James since she first met him. With everything that all of James’ friends, his teammates, even teachers had said about him. Of course, Effie could be biased, but given the way the family members heckled each other, Lily had no doubt they wouldn’t say these things if they weren’t true. 

So why was she listening to one single voice?

A voice she knew to be a flawed judge of character? A voice she knew to be the voice of a misguided movement? A voice she had learnt through hard, awful experience, that she couldn’t rely on. 

And just like that, Lily knew. 

The evening carried on pleasantly. They finished the pudding, toiled over their drinks, and then Effie and Monty decided almost in unison that as “old fuddy duddies” it was high time they took themselves home. Lily’s attempts to pay for her share of dessert and an extra wine were brushed off. She stood awkwardly by as they paid, then moved forward to pay her dinner bill. 

“I was sitting at the table by the window,” she motioned awkwardly.

The hostess tapped her screen a couple of times and shook her head. “That bill has been paid.” 

Lily shook her head, “No, my sister didn’t pay on her way out. I watched her leave.” 

The hostess shrugged, “Well, it’s been paid. There’s a signature here, look.” 

Lily leaned forward to look at the tablet. Her brow furrowed as she tried to work out the scratchings on the page. She heard Sirius behind her, thanking the staff and moving out the front door behind the Potters. 

“Thank you,” she moved back. “The meal was delicious. But now I have someone to kill.” 

She was barely three steps out the door when she started hitting him. 

“Hey!” Sirius yelped, jumping away. 

"I am not a charity case, Sirius Black," she spat, whacking every inch of his leather jacket she could reach. It pissed her off more that it was soft and buttery under her hands. Of course, it was. Wanker. 

"That's not why I did it," he insisted, trying to catch her hands. When he couldn't, he ducked behind James' parents who were watching with amused looks on their faces. It was only their presence that prevented Lily from chasing Sirius further. 

"I'm sorry," she said, brushing her hands on her skirt and folding her arms behind her back. "It was lovely to meet you tonight, but I need to throttle your son, and it's not something I want you to witness." 

Monty grinned, again stunning Lily with the similarity to James. He placed a kiss on her cheek, patting her arm. "Give him hell, my dear. It was nice to meet you as well. I wish you luck wrangling them both." 

"Thank you," Lily's smile was genuine before she broke off to glare scathingly at Sirius, who peeked out from behind Monty's shoulder. "I'll need it." 

"I hope to see you again, dear," Lily was surprised when Effie stepped forward to fold her in a hug. Her reaction was delayed, but she returned the gesture, revelling in the warmth it provided. It went eons to erase the awfulness of the evening prior to her meeting the Potters. 

"I hope to see you, too." She wasn't sure if it would be possible, if things weren't too far gone, but if Lily could wish a second meeting into existence, she absolutely would. 

"I'm sure it will happen. Don't fret. I raised my son to have excellent taste." Effie drew back and looked at Lily with such kindness she felt like she could cry. 

Surely she hadn't had that much to drink? 

Effie and Monty hugged Sirius in turn, and Lily enjoyed watching the normally tough looking man soften under the affection from his adoptive parents. He even blushed when Effie chided him again about Marlene, but watched them head off with final waves until they reached their car and pulled out safely. The concern and uncharacteristic care in his manner almost prevented Lily from resuming her attack. 

Almost. 

Thump.

"What the hell was that, Black? I didn't need you to pay for me." 

Thump. Thump. Thump.

"Would you just stop? At least let me defend myself." 

Lily paused, cocked her head at him. She heaved a great sigh as if not physically assaulting Sirius was a hardship she was willing to bear. "Fine. Let me hear it." 

"I wasn't trying to make you feel like a charity case, Evans," Sirius looked more earnest than she'd ever seen him. "Honestly, I wasn't." 

"Then why did you pay?" 

Sirius screwed up his nose. "I didn't want them to win. Those people, your sister, brother in law, they're like my parents. Bigots. Racists. I didn't want you to have to call your mum for help to manage, and your sister to know she'd got the upper hand. She'd hurt you."

"You still didn't have to pay," Lily insisted. "I could have coped." 

"Well, that's the best part, though, isn't it," Sirius grinned. "I got to use the money my own family hates that I have to do it." 

"I don't understand."

"My uncle, he was the only one who didn't agree with them, like me. Well, my cousin, too, but she married herself out, lucky thing. Got rid of the Black name."

"But your uncle," Lily prompted, sensing he could get off track. 

"My uncle died," Lily blanched and Sirius looked apologetic. "Sorry, I could have said that better. But we weren't really close. He never wanted to rock the boat like I did, so he mostly stayed away. But apparently, he knew enough of my opinions. His final stab at my family was to leave his considerable fortune to me. Give me the freedom of determining my own future. My own family." 

Lily thought this over, aware Sirius was watching her. "That's a lot," she admitted slowly. 

"It is." 

"But I'll allow it," she conceded, before putting a finger in his face. "This time." 

He knocked the finger away. "Oh, come on, Evans," he slung a careless arm around her shoulders. "Those of us with shit families have to stick together." 

"Uhuh," Lily tried to shrug him off, but Sirius hung tight. "Where are you taking us?" 

"To your car," Sirius looked around the parking lot. "I assume it’s one of these? I need a ride back to campus. I came with ma and pa." 

"Of course you do," Lily sighed, shaking her head. She gestured towards her vehicle. "Let's go, then. Get in." 

They were quiet as Lily drove back towards campus. It should have been uncomfortable, they didn't know each other that well, hadn't been alone together before now. But she was surprised to find it wasn't. She felt at ease, the same way she did with Remus. 

The same way she felt with James. 

"You have good taste in music," Sirius commented at one point. 

"Thanks." 

"I mean it, none of that girly pop shit. I'm impressed." 

"Don't be," Lily grinned wickedly. "That's on my gym playlist." 

Sirius groaned as she had hoped he would. 

They bickered back and forth after that. Traded music and TV shows, Netflix recommendations and the like. It was simple, mindless banter, that made it all the more jarring when Lily parked and Sirius turned towards, expression grave. 

"Evans," he began. "About that article." 

"Why am I not surprised you know about it?" Lily sighed. "Sirius, it's fine." 

"It's not, though. It's coming between you two. And I wanted to clear the air." 

"You don't need to. I know there are NDAs." 

"I don't care. I want to explain." 

"No." 

"But I can tell you-" 

"Sirius. No." Lily tried to soften her tone. "I don't want you to. I don't need you to." 

"But you-" 

"Sirius, I promise you, it's fine. You aren't going to break that NDA. It's not necessary." 

"But James-" 

She reached over the middle console to squeeze his hand. "I promise you, telling me is not going to help." 

Sirius looked at her so doubtfully, with so much concern that Lily almost wanted to laugh. She couldn't tell him what she was thinking. It wouldn't be fair for him to hear it first. Just the fact he was willing to do so much to fix her and James spoke volumes. 

If anything, it reinforced the earlier decision she'd come to. 

"Okay," he said slowly. "Did you want to come in?" He smiled slyly. "Prongs won't even be there. You could roll around on his bed. I won't tell."

"You absolutely would." 

"Marauder's honour, Evans," Sirius placed his hand over his heart. 

"Marauder's don't have honour, you dolt," Lily rolled her eyes. 

"You could even look at that picture from the Dragons page while you were there," he looked like the cat who'd got the cream, he was so delighted with himself. 

"I'm good, but thanks, really," Lily patted the hand that still rested near hers. "But I did think of something for you. A way to get rid of the surname you hate so much. Rid yourself of them like your cousin did." 

"Oh yeah?" Sirius looked at her with suspicion. "And how's that?" 

His suspicion was warranted. 

"If you married Marlene, you could take her name," Lily smiled sweetly, batting her eyelashes. "I could help you pick a ring if you'd like." 

Sirius turned slightly green and unbuckled his seatbelt. "You know, on second thought, maybe we've spent enough time together for one evening." 

"Perhaps," Lily snorted. 

"Thanks for the ride, Evans," Sirius opened the door and fairly jumped from the car. He bent to stick his head back in. "Get home safe." 

"Let me know when I should pick out a hat, yeah?" Lily giggled as Sirius scowled and slammed the door. She pulled away from the curb, still tittering to herself. 

But actually, some time alone with that photo wasn't such a bad idea… 

Chapter Text

"GRYFF-DOOOOOR." 

"There ain't no party like a Gryffindor Party."

"We're gonna show you how"

"Everybody get down tonight."

"GRYFF-DOOOOOR." 

"There ain't no party like a Gryffindor Party."

"We're gonna take you high."

"Shake your body from side to side."

James smirked as he passed through the foyer, some drunk Turtles doing their best to corrupt the lyrics of S Club 7's late nineties class party anthem, S Club Party. 

With a few improvements, of course. 

He bopped his head to the chorus as he jogged up the stairs and made his way towards the suite he shared with his friends. Students lined the halls and common areas, dressed in various costumes and get ups of one of the cringe-iest decades. Kurt Cobain offered him a beer, The Flash slid past him on the stair railing, B1 and B2 were making out in the Level 2 games room. 

His suite was thankfully empty, though it looked like the party had started or at least passed through it at some point. James resisted the urge to flop face first on his bed and forced himself into the shower. He washed away the mud and sweat of a hard training session, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against the shower wall. 

I wonder if Lily's out there.

James groaned at himself almost as soon as the thought entered his consciousness. The sound reverberated around the tiled room, punishing him for his one track mind. 

It had been a quiet week, lab wise. There’d been an extra lecture on Tuesday, instead of the standard practical session. Lily sat in the front of the lecture theatre, as was her norm, James in his standard middle of the room seat. Slughorn had run late, James had had to hightail it to the art building straight afterwards, their paths hadn't crossed. 

He had no idea where they were at. 

The phone call from his mother early on Sunday morning had been exasperating, at best. 

"James, darling. Did I wake you?" 

"No, mum," James had tried to clear his throat as he rolled over onto his back. Several areas of his body protested, bruised and battered from yesterday's game.  "Not at all." 

"I just wanted to get Lily's number from you. Your dad has some books he thought might help the paper she was discussing." 

"Who?" He had rubbed at his eyes. He didn't know any Lilys that his mum knew. 

"Your lab partner, Lily. Surely you haven't forgotten her already." 

"Mum, what are you talking about?"

"That lovely red-headed teaching assistant you've only been going on about since the start of term. Sirius brought her to dinner last night." 

James had sat bolt upright in his bed, not even wincing as the rucks on his back tore and stabbed at him. "He what?" 

"Honestly, dear, try and be a bit more eloquent, will you? Anyone would think we didn't educate you?" 

"I am sorry, Mother," James had done his best stick-up-the-arse, posh-boy voice. "What I meant to say, ta-rah, ta-rah, was, please, mother dearest, explain how you came to have dinner with my dear brother Sirius and my CHEMISTRY TA!!!!" 

Effie had sighed and tutted as if James was being outrageous in his indignation. "Honestly, I don't know why you're getting so upset. If you're going to be marrying her one day, it's probably for the best we meet sooner rather than later." 

"Marry her?" James had pulled at his hair so hard he was surprised he didn't rip it away from his scalp. 

"That’s what Sirius said." 

"Mum. Please tell me none of you actually mentioned marriage in her presence." 

His mum had been silent, and James just could imagine her tapping her fingers together and looking off into the distance. 

"Mum!"

"Don't be snippy at me. I wasn't the one that started it."

"But I have no doubt that you carried on with it regardless." 

"It's not my fault. She's so gorgeous." 

"Trust me, I know," James had fallen back on his bed, eyes closing. "You liked her?" 

"I did."

"And dad?" 

"Wants to adopt her. Hence the books." 

James hadn't been able to help the warmth that had spread through his body and the smile that broke across his face. 

His mum had allowed him his moment to bask before she broke in gently. "Darling?"

"Mmm?"

"She did mention that you weren't best pleased with her at the moment." 

James had been silent. He'd contemplated how much to tell his mother. But, because he didn't really do secrets, he had, of course, told her everything. "She was friends with Snape, before he came to our school. Childhood friends." 

"With that boy?"

"Apparently." 

"They must have been like chalk and cheese."

"You would have thought. They were close though. Enough that he doesn't want her anywhere near me."

"Don't tell me-"

"He sent her that article," James had confirmed. 

Effie had cursed. She didn't often, so it always surprised James. "I had that retracted."

"Nothing is ever gone once it's on the internet. The lawyers warned us of that." 

"I know." Effie had paused, and when she spoke again her voice was strained. "I hate that this follows you. All of you."

"Mum," James had felt his heart pull. "It's fine." 

"It's not. But don't tell me that lovely girl believed him?" 

"I don't think she knows what to think."

"How could she take one look at you and believe that tripe?" 

"She's known him most of her life. She's known me five minutes," James had shrugged, forgetting his mum couldn't see him. 

"It's about quality, not quantity." 

"We haven't had a chance to even have quality yet. TA, remember?" 

Effie had grumbled. "Maybe I need to rethink my opinion of her."

"Don't," James had spoken before he even really thought it through. What was he saying? He didn't know if his mum even needed to like Lily. 

He just knew he desperately wanted her too. 

"What will you do?" 

"I'm not sure." 

"We could invite her-"

"I'll figure it out on my own, thanks," James had cut his mother off before he ended up in the middle of one of her extravagant schemes. 

"Well, if you change your mind-"

"I won't."

He had almost been able to hear her pursing her lips. "What about your father's books?" 

"Drop them here," James said firmly. "Remus can give them to her." 

It hadn't taken him long after hanging up with his mum to go find Sirius. His brother had been lounging on the couch, scrolling his phone and sipping at a mug of tea. 

"Where're the others?"

Sirius hadn't even looked up. "Peter's at work. Remus went with him to get breakfast." 

Remus never could resist Peter's employee discounts, despite the extra distance away from uni he had to walk. 

"Great. No witnesses then." 

Sirius hadn't even had time to respond before James had thrown a cushion at him. 

"Shit," Sirius had sworn as tea sloshed over his hand. "What the fuck, Prongs?"

James had waited just long enough for the tea to be placed carefully on the coffee table before he'd launched himself across the room. 

Sirius had fought valiantly, it had to be stated. He had a few moves, for someone that never indulged in exercise. He was wiley too, with zero scruples. But he lacked the motivation and determination of James, and for that reason, and that reason alone, it was only minutes before Sirius found himself trapped on the floor. James had straddled him, pinning his arms, knees digging into his thighs. 

Sirius had looked up at James with an unsurprised grimace. "You spoke to Mum, then." 

"Why the fuck," James had practically spat in his face, "did you not only somehow get Lily in the same place as our parents, but also introduce them?" 

"I mentioned marriage, too," Sirius had grinned as if James' knee wasn't inches from his groin. "Did they tell you I mentioned marriage?" 

A well placed elbow, sinking into Sirius's abdomen, did for James' answer. 

Their conversation was short, tense, and punctuated by potshots at Sirius' stomach, groin, and thighs, Chinese burns to his arms, pretty much anything that would keep him talking about the events of the previous evening. James was pretty sure Sirius still hadn’t told him everything, but he hadn’t been willing to resort to biting to get the full story. 

Who knew where Sirius had been. 

James sighed as he turned off the shower. He took grudging steps out of the recess and into the bathroom, ignoring the over-steamed room because he’d forgotten to turn the extractor fan on. Remus would give him hell for it later, it was a common mistake and his friend swore they were all going to die from mold poisoning created by the constant condensation. 

James thought they probably drank enough alcohol to counteract any bacteria that was unfortunate enough to climb into their bodies. 

He belatedly clicked the extractor fan on anyway, because he was a good friend. 

It took all of two minutes for him to put his costume on. Pants, t-shirt, shirt over top, only done up two-thirds of the way. Appropriately themed socks weren’t quite correct but added to the little novelty and even smaller level of effort he’d put in. Dress shoes, a belt, his glasses back on his face once he’d removed the contacts he’d needed for training. He was physically ready even if his mind wasn’t. 

The suite lounge was still empty as he grabbed a beer from the kitchenette. Popping the top, he moved like a snail, his feet dragging against the worn dormitory carpet. The sounds of the party drifted through their solid wooden front door. The music, the shouts, the screams, the laughs. Everyone was having a great time. There would be plenty of hookups tonight. In dark corners, bathrooms, couches. Many would wake up in the wrong beds. 

There was only one bed James wanted to wake up in. 

Spoiler alert, it wasn’t his. 

Though he’d take a hard bench, a dimly lit alley, a cupboard under the stairs. Just as long as he had her. 

Of course, in this scenario, this dream, if you will, the girl in question had never doubted him. There had never been an argument, a falling out, an estrangement. If you could be estranged from someone you weren’t actually allowed to see. James wasn’t sure. But the sentiment remained. Five minutes alone in a broom cupboard without any dramas was all he asked for. 

Taking a long drag of liquid courage, James finally ventured out into the halls. 

Hours passed. He remained on his own floor, playing beer pong, successfully of course, two doors down. Karaoke in the suite across the hall kept him occupied for a while, though this he mostly watched. Michael Buble, he was not. There was a costume competition at some point, official or otherwise, he wasn’t sure. He knew he’d done a catwalk strut when demanded by a particularly terrifying final term Magaret Thatcher, half heartedly, and ducked out before the catcalls and whoops of his peers could redden his cheeks and make everything worse. 

It was at this point that he finally descended to the level below. He’d yet to see his friends and he figured that the most likely place was on Marlene’s floor. They still hadn’t confirmed their relationship status, but given Sirius was often found with her, it was a fairly safe bet. Hopefully some more low key activities were occurring down there, at any rate. 

“Hiya, Captain.” 

James was barely off the bottom step when a voice stopped him. He looked up in confusion at a blonde girl, clad in dark red leather pants and a black vest. She clutched at a wooden stake in one hand, a plastic cup of something fruity looking in the other. Given the state of some of the girls upstairs, James guessed it was a spiked punch. 

“Uh, er, hi,” he relooked at the girl’s outfit, “Buffy?” 

The girl laughed and nodded, her arm reaching out to grace his forearm. His shirt sleeves had been rolled up to his elbows long since and she landed on bare skin. The touch made him want to shudder. He barely repressed it in time. 

"Silly, it's me," she giggled. "Hestia." Her hand clenched around his muscles and James cursed himself for not having moved it away immediately. 

"Oh," his voice sounded strangled, even to his own ears. "I didn't recognise you." 

"How do you like my costume?" She preened, standing straighter, pushing her chest more into his eye line. Her stake tip was brought to rest on his chest, dragging down the symbol on his t-shirt and catching on the button of the dress shirt. 

"Yeah, it's great," James looked over her shoulder wildly, hoping to see someone he knew. 

Anyone. 

Anyone at all. 

Would it be too obvious if he yelled help? Pulled the fire alarm? Faked a headache and went to bed? 

This is why his mum often called him a drama queen. 

James heaved an internal, heavy sigh, took another slug of beer and decided to be a man. 

He placed a hand on the stake where it touched his chest, and gently pushed it away, until it was back at Hestia’s side. When he took a small but significant step back, Hestia tried to follow him, but he held her in place with his eyes. 

"Hestia, look. You're lovely, and I'm flattered, but I'm sorry. I'm not interested." 

"Oh, James. I was just being friendly," she tried to take another step closer to him, reaching out for his chest with her fingers. 

"Sorry, but I'd rather we were just classmates," James stared down at her hand until she dropped it. "And I'm not really the touchy type." 

"Maybe, if we went out though, you'd change your mind?" Her eyelashes batted so hard James wondered how she had any left. 

"I'm not dating at the moment." 

Redness started to darken her cheeks. "Oh." 

"Yeah," he ruffled his hair, feeling extremely awkward. 

"Are you interested in someone else?" 

He couldn't quite meet her eyes. "I don't think that's any of your business." 

"Fair," Hestia shrugged. "I just thought you might be into the TA." 

James felt his heart stop. "What?" 

"Our chem TA. Lily. You're always staring at her and you guys seem pretty close. I've seen you at The Sticks together." 

"Our friends are dating," James shrugged. "And another friend has bio with her." 

"Huh," Hestia looked at him for several long moments and he had to do his best not to flinch under her gaze. Eventually she shrugged and broke eye contact. "Ah well, it was worth a shot." 

"What was?" 

"A go at the captain," she leered. "You are pretty handsome." 

It was all a game to her, James finally realised. And then he knew how to redirect her. 

"You know, our vice captain is single. You know him," James gestured across the room. "Fabian." 

Hestia turned to face where he pointed, frowning. "He isn't the brightest bulb."

"That's just the head knocks. He's grand. And he's pretty." 

Hestia nodded slowly. "He definitely is that." 

"He's also extremely kind, charming, just needs a strong woman to show him the way." 

"Well, I'm certainly that." 

She flounced off in that direction without even a second look. James managed to not let out an audible sigh of relief. He did take a long drink of his beer, finishing it this time, and he went to look for a refill when he heard a familiar voice. 

"What the fuck are you even doing here, anyway? You don't live here. You're not friends with anyone here." 

James had assumed that because he hadn't seen a flash of red hair in the corner of his eye, as he often did, that Lily hadn't attended the party. She didn't live in the tower, so it was reasonable she didn't, even if many of her friends were Gryffindors. 

Once he'd heard her voice and turned his head in that direction, he realised why he probably hadn't noticed her. Her gorgeous, eye catching locks had been replaced with a dark, short, black wig that was dead straight and framed her face. 

If he missed the red hair, the Posh Spice bodycon dress more than made up for it. 

But James barely had time to appreciate the dress as he moved back toward the stairs. Lily stood to the side of them, a person dressed in a dark robe, hood pulled, standing far too close for James' liking. And by the look on her face, too close for her own liking. 

James could see the way her hands clenched into fists at her sides that she was angry, uncomfortable or nervous. Maybe even a combination of all three. Her expression showed only annoyance, a look of pure disgust he was glad he'd never been given. He moved closer, to the other side of a group of teletubbies, their large costumes blocking his view, but improving his eavesdropping abilities. 

"I knew you'd come to something like this. You won't meet with me-"

"Gee, I wonder why." 

"- so it's the only way I knew I could talk to you." 

"You were wrong. You can't talk to me."

"Lil, think-"

"Do not call me that." 

"Come on, Lily. Don't be like this."

"You made it like this."

"Don't you want to know the truth? What that article was all about?"

James' breath caught and he found himself on the balls of his feet, ready to interrupt before Snape could ruin his friend's life. 

"No, I don't." 

"But-" 

"I don't know what you think is going on, but James is just a student in my class." 

"James? You're calling him by his first name?"

"I call them all by their names. I'm not a Professor, I'm the same age as all of them. I don't have grand lofty ideas of superiority like some people." Her tone of voice couldn't have made her meaning more clear. 

"You shouldn't hang around him." 

"I'm not ."

"I've seen you. Hanging in the library with Lupin. He's the whole problem, you know. If you knew-"

"James might not be, but Remus is definitely my friend." 

"Then you should know, he-" 

"Severus, stop." Her voice was glacial. James wouldn't want to be on the receiving end. "I don't want to know. I don't want to talk to you about this. About anything, actually, ever. You need to leave."

"I don't want to see you hurt." His words were said so quietly, James barely heard them. They rung with truth though, Snape's truth and James realised he did actually care for Lily. Just not enough to listen to her or respect her wishes, it seemed. 

"You don't have to see it. Leave." 

"But you need to hear this. They-" 

"I'll leave then." 

"No, wait." 

"Get your hand off me." 

The teletubbies parted just at the right moment for James to get a view of the two students. Snape, hood still up, had grabbed Lily's arm as she'd turned to walk away. She was still half facing away, just her head turned back, her eyes staring at where his pale fingers twisted around her forearm. She spoke again, low and furious, as her eyes looked up to Snape's. 

"Let me go before I scream. Half the rugby team is here and they won't hesitate." 

James felt a flicker of pride and warmth that he was part of such a team. There were a couple of bad eggs, but it made him proud to know the players were seen as protectors, not threats, on this campus. It wasn't the same everywhere. 

They would be unnecessary, of course. If Lily was to scream, James would be the first one to launch himself at the greasy git. 

But that was beside the point. 

In the end, though, theatrics or heroism were not necessary. Snape let go of her, albeit reluctantly. Lily kept her eyes on him, not turning her back again. 

"Leave." 

"Don't say I didn't warn you." 

She waited until he'd turned away, until he'd left the space, the level, disappearing down the stairs. Then she sagged against the wall.

James wasn't really sure what happened next. He didn't recall making a conscious decision to move. Didn't actually remember telling himself to take any steps. Didn't feel the fuzzy brush of teletubby fur as he brushed past them. Didn't even recall the moment his right arm snagged Lily around her waist as his left hand reached for a doorknob to the side of her and he pushed her through the gap. 

All he knew was one second he was standing on the other side of a group of fuzzy creepy things, watching her, and the next second he was in a completely dark cupboard under the stairs with her. 

Unsurprisingly, Lily went nuts. 

"What the fuck." She kicked at his shin, whacked with her hand, misplaced an elbow in his gut. "Let me go." 

He heard a sharp intake of breath as she prepared to scream. 

"Lily, stop. It's me." 

He supposed he could take solace that even in the darkness, more than a week since their last lab and therefore last time they'd spoken, in the middle of a rage and fear fueled physical attack on his person, she recognised his voice. 

Forever the optimist, he was. 

"James," his name was a whisper on her lips. But shock quickly wore off and anger replaced it again. She hit at him, connecting with his chest, but much softer this time. "What the fuck are you doing?" 

"Uh, well," James reached up to ruffle his hair, but the space was too small and he only succeeded in smacking his elbow on the inverted edge of a step. 

"You can't just shove a girl into a cupboard. I almost had a heart attack." 

"Sorry, I'm sorry," he said immediately. He reached out gingerly until his fingers brushed her arm. He rubbed softly. An apology."I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."

He heard her breath catch at his touch, but she didn't step away. "Well, what did you mean?" 

"I, uh, I guess I didn't think this through." 

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" 

"It's not my fault, I can't think around you." 

"We've got almost a whole semester of labs to prove that, actually, you can think brilliantly around me." 

James huffed a laugh. Lily joined him. He didn't know how in the middle of the mess he'd just created, surrounded by the bigger mess they'd been stuck in, they were laughing. 

But they were. 

And that was everything .

"I wanted to talk to you." 

Lily was quiet. Probably surprised that he had chosen to break their laughter before it truly finished. He could have let it keep going, let them enjoy the light hearted moment. But it was as if the laughter, the break in the tension that had surrounded him since that first bloody text message, had reinforced how much he wanted things to be right with them again. 

And he wanted them to be right so badly. 

He knew in that instant he would do anything to fix it. 

"I mean, you could have picked a better moment." 

"I'd say this is the perfect one." 

"A cupboard?" He could almost hear the raised eyebrows in her voice. "That's your idea of perfect?"

"It's fine."

"It's dark." 

James flipped the torch of his phone on, placing it on a shelf of what appeared to be cleaning supplies. "There. Like candlelight. Romantic." 

Lily snorted. "It's also cramped." 

"Cosy." James moved forward. He couldn't help himself. His hand still rested on her arm and his fingers tightened as she moved toward him too. The phone light cast strange, eerie shadows, making it hard to see her face even as they stood less than a breath apart. 

"What did you want to talk about?"

Distracted by the feel of her, the warmth of her under his hand, James suddenly forgot what had been so important. "Uh…" 

"Only I wanted to talk to you too. And I'd like to go first if that's alright." 

As if James could deny her anything when she was standing so close. "Shoot."

"I wanted to apologise." 

That was not what he'd been expecting. "I'm sorry?" 

He could hear the roll of her eyes. "That's what I'm trying to say." 

"Right, sorry." James let go of her arm to see if it would clear his brain. "What I meant was, why are you sorry?" 

"For not trusting you," she reached out to him instead, catching his fingers with hers. She seemed reassured when he squeezed them. "For doubting you when you've never given me a reason to. I'm really sorry James."

A week ago he'd wanted that apology like nothing else. Looking at the ruined experiment and Lily's confused and stricken face in the lab, it had been the only thing he'd thought would fix this. But now it seemed unnecessary.

Actions did always speak louder than words. 

"You don't need to apologise." 

"I was wrong." 

"Well, yes, but -"

"I tried to make you break the law." 

"Again, technically, yes, but-" 

"I should've taken you at your word against-" 

"Lily." James pulled on their intertwined fingers so hard that she stumbled forward. His free hand caught her waist, steadying her against him. "It's fine." 

"It was not fine." Her doubt was palpable. 

"No, it wasn't," he agreed. "But now it is." 

She was silent again. James used the opportunity to slide his palm up and down along the shiny smooth fabric of her costume. 

"What changed?" 

"You." 

"You're going to have to explain that to me."

"You met my parents."

Lily went very very still. "Er, yes. I did." 

"They loved you." 

"And so my earlier transgressions were wiped? What an impression I must have left." 

"No, well, yes, I mean you did leave quite the impression. Dad wants to replace me with you. But no, that's not what I meant. That's not what changed." 

"Then what?" 

"Sirius tried to tell you." 

He felt her body heat as she panicked. "He did. Try, that is." 

"You stopped him," James reached up as he spoke, moving to brush back her hair but realising he couldn't run his hand through it, and that a wig didn't feel quite the same as her natural softness. He settled for cupping her face instead, his thumb brushing across her cheek.

He felt her lean into his touch. "I did."

 "Why?" 

"I realised something."

"And what was that?"

"I didn't need to know anymore." 

James moved even closer to her still. "You were pretty insistent last week." 

"I changed my mind." 

"Why?" 

"I met your parents." 

He fought the urge to smile at her repetition of his own argument. "I know. They love you, remember?"

"No, they love you ." Her hand slid up from his to stroke his forearm. 

"Well, I mean they did raise me. They're probably a bit biased." 

Lily squeezed his arm. "Stop joking. I'm being serious." 

"He's not here." James couldn't help the grin  as she groaned. "Alright, alright, I'll be good." 

"I'd say you've never been good a day in your life, but that's about the opposite of the point I'm trying to make."

"That my parents love me?" 

"That you're a good person. A good man. And I'm sorry for doubting it."

His fingers tightened on her neck. "Lily, I said you don't need to apologise." 

"And I said I want to." His brain spun as she moved her hand from his arm, only to mirror his hold. Her smaller hand stroked his neck before resting with her thumb at the angle of his jaw. 

"Alright," he sighed, putty in her hands. "Have at it."

"Thank you. But you need to let go of me. I can't think with you so close either." 

James didn't want to let go. He really, really didn't. Lily didn't seem that keen either, but she pushed against his chest until there was a bit more than a breath of space between them. The feeling of loss and longing was instant and he curled his hands at his sides for the second time that evening to stop himself moving. Though this was a little different to earlier, when he'd done it to prevent himself punching Snape in the face. 

He was still telling himself, deep in the recesses of his mind, it would have been worth it. 

"I want to apologise because I feel really stupid." 

"You don't need to, you shouldn't-" James tried to reach for Lily almost immediately, but again she pushed him back. 

"No," she said sternly. "Let me get this out." 

James sighed dramatically, but nodded. She might have seen enough of his action in the dim phone light, for she continued. 

"I feel stupid. So stupid. And that's not something I'm used to feeling," she laughed bitterly and James longed to hold her. "But I suppose it does me good." 

She sighed, paused. He could see in the faint light that her head turned to the side, seeking the words from the darkness. "I shouldn't have needed help to see the truth of the situation. I know Snape. Have for a long time. For better or worse I know him. I know how awful, how selfish, how misguided, how wrong he is. I don't know why he still gets into my head. He shouldn't. I shouldn't let him. I should have known whatever the opposite he said was true."

Lily's head turned back to face him now. James wished he could see her eyes better in the dark. Wished she could see his face that this was all wholly, completely unnecessary. 

“And what makes it worse is I should have known the truth about you. Without anyone else saying anything. It was staring me in the face the whole time. From the day we met. You have been nothing but honest and honourable. You've been the one to do the right thing with us. It shouldn't have taken your friends, your family, your mother to remind me of that. But it did, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for doubting you and I know I don't really deserve your forgiveness or for you to do anything other than toss me to the curb, but I'm going to ask your forgiveness and for a second chance all the same." 

James watched her for several long moments, waiting to see if she'd continue berating herself, or if it was safe to interrupt. It appeared Lily was finished with her tirade, but he thought he was best to confirm before taking his turn. 

"You done?" 

Her head tilted up toward him, though he didn't know if she could see his face well. "Excuse me?" 

"Are you done?" His tone was harsh, even to his own ears. 

"Am I done?" She was slow, confused. 

"Are you finished?" 

She huffed, in indignation, perhaps, or disbelief. "Yeah," she half-coughed, half-laughed. "Yeah, I'm done." 

"Good." 

James barely got the words out of his mouth before his body took over. He wasn't sure he didn't move faster than the speed of sound, didn't even know if she'd heard him before he had her in his arms. 

The minimal space she'd forced between them disappeared. James pushed up against her so firmly that Lily, caught off guard, stumbled. His hands at her waist, her hip, caught her before she fell backwards, then gripped reflexively into her soft, warm, curves. She yielded magnificently, palms smoothing over his chest, catching on the buttons of shirt, fingering the collar before reaching higher to scrap at his scalp. He shivered as he thought about what her nails would feel like elsewhere. 

Head lowering, he smiled as he realised it was easier with her costume. "You're taller." His lips brushed her ear, her wig tickling his nose. 

Lily's response was dry. "The joys of era-appropriate platform heels." 

"I like them." 

"Thought you would," her breath hitched as he pressed his mouth to her pulse point. "James, what are you doing?" 

Before he replied, James dragged his hands down her tight fitting outfit, thanking several different deities for the privilege, and reached down to the back of her thighs. Gripping securely, he lifted her up, perching her on the top of the small shelf. He stepped between her legs, hands running along the tops of her legs, thumbs hooking under the hem of her dress as he softly kissed her jaw. 

All of this made his next words an absolute lie. 

"Nothing." 

Lily snorted, even as her hands moved to trace his back, thread into his hair. "And here I was just saying how honest you were." 

James clucked his tongue as he moved along her jaw, drawing closer to his target. He was really quite admirable at his own ability to pull back enough to speak. 

"I solemnly swear to you, Evans, sometimes I really only am up to no good." 

Before she could respond, before she could pull away, before she could realise his first fear in that moment and stop him, he moved his lips to cover hers. 

As kisses went, it was scorching. From the second his mouth sealed over hers, it was like a fire lit inside of him. James felt feverish, dizzy, and giddy all at once. He barely held back a groan at how good it felt to dissolve himself into the embrace. His tongue wasted no time in finding hers, just as his hands didn't miss a beat in exploring each inch of her he could find. 

Lily appeared similarly affected, no sign of protest or discouragement. Her knees clenched his waist, her heels wrapping around to brace themselves in his calves. She pulled at his hair, his nape, his shirt to gain better purchase on him, changing the angle to bring James closer and closer until he wasn't sure where he stopped and she began. 

His thumbs started to hitch at her skirt, pushing it up as he pressed further into her. Lily moaned at the contact, encouraging him on. Spurred on by the purr in her throat, one of James’s hand made their way up, and up, and -

The door to the cupboard was thrown open. 

Chapter Text

It was quiet in the gallery. 

Lily stepped inside cautiously, hearing the heavy click of her boots on the polished concrete. The white walls were made even brighter by the well placed lighting, and she was struck by how elegant, how professional the room was. It gave away nothing to suggest that the work that graced the walls and spread across the floor was that of amateurs, of students. 

She moved slowly around the room, looking at the pieces without really seeing them. Oil landscapes, acrylic abstracts, pencil portraits. Futuristic installations and clay sculptures of all shapes and sizes. As instructed, she made her way to a bench at the back and took a seat. 

It was surprising, really, that her heartbeat wasn’t echoing around the room. It was beating so hard in her chest, it should have been audible. It thrummed at double its normal pace, matching the rhythm of the butterflies in her stomach, the shake of her fingers before she sat on her hands to steady them. 

This was stupid. 

This was risky. 

This was - 

“This is a bad idea,” Lily said, out loud, the second the space next to her on the bench was occupied. It didn’t matter that they faced out into the gallery, that she couldn’t see their face. She didn’t need to. She would know him anywhere. 

“Then why did you come?” He didn’t sound surprised by her statement. 

“I couldn’t not.” 

James sighed. “That’s how I felt too. The boys tried to talk me out of this. That was… that was close.” 

“Too close,” Lily agreed. She fixated on the painting in front of her. Another landscape, but different from the others she’d walked past. 

“We almost-” 

“Got caught. I know.” 

“Yup.” 

“He should have recognised you.” 

“Should have,” Lily agreed. 

“Thank god for that wig.” 

“Thank god for the three other Posh Spice’s at the party.”

"Definitely." 

"Lucky the Spice Girls are still a popular nineties choice." 

“Why the fuck were you dressed as Posh Spice, anyway?” James let out a humourless laugh. “Not that I’m complaining, you looked amazing. And it was clearly our saving grace. But why the fuck was the redhead not cast as Ginger Spice?” 

“Marlene,” Lily snorted. “She wanted to wear a flag as a dress and there was no talking her out of it.” 

“I never even saw her.” 

“Yeah, well, apparently Sirius was feeling pretty patriotic.” 

“Of course, he was,” James’ voice was dry, bitter. “Is it bad I feel almost sick with jealousy?” 

“Of Sirius and Marlene?” Lily turned her head, snuck a glance, but all she could see of him was his head in his hands, glasses hanging from between his fingers as he rubbed his eyes. 

“Yeah.” 

“If it’s bad, then I’ll be in hell with you.” 

“Maybe we can snog there.”

“Here’s hoping.” 

They both fell silent. He was right. Well, if not right, then understandable. Lily felt the same. She wished she could be as free as Sirius and Marlene. Wished she could say what she wanted, act as she wanted, live how she wanted. 

Be with who she wanted. 

“I’m sorry.” 

This time Lily twisted around and stared. She stared until he looked at her. The misery, the torment, the fear, the anxiety, the longing, the despair, the frustration, everything she was feeling, was reflected back on James’ face.

“What,” she said, slowly, “exactly, are you apologising for?” 

“For shoving you into that cupboard.” 

“You can shove me under the stairs anytime you want, James.” 

“No, I can’t,” his eyes blazed. “That’s the fucking problem.” 

Lily looked away. She couldn’t handle looking at that kind of heat, not when she couldn’t respond how she wanted. “I know. But you don’t have to be sorry.” 

“I could have cost you your job.” 

“You didn’t.” 

“I could have gotten you kicked out of school.” 

“I wasn’t.” 

“I took a huge risk and I didn’t even think of the consequences.” 

"I was there too. I could have stopped you."

"A freight train couldn't have stopped me."

“It’s okay.” 

“It’s not.” 

“James.” 

“Lily.” 

She couldn’t help it. Reaching down, she placed her hand over his on the bench, between their bodies. His fingers shifted, allowing hers to intertwine with his, squeezing them. The warmth of his skin soothed her frayed, fragile nerves. Lily watched their hands as the fight drained out of her. Her eyes flicked to his when he turned, clearly waiting for her to carry on the argument, not realising yet that she wasn’t going to fight anymore. Especially not when she saw his eyes. 

James looked just as exhausted and just as done as she felt. 

“Why is this so hard?” she asked. The words came out so softly, she wasn’t sure if he’d even heard her. 

But of course, he had. 

“It doesn’t have to be,” he said slowly. “We could forget this.” 

It was her turn to laugh. As darkly, as roughly as his had been earlier. “Can you forget this?” 

“No.” James’ response was immediate. Definite. 

“Neither.” Lily tightened her grip on his hand. “And I don’t want to.” 

“Lily-”

“No. I won’t give you up,” she cut him off before he could say more. “If the last couple of weeks taught me anything, it’s that I don’t want to give you up. I can’t give you up.” 

"I wasn't going to ask you too," James moved their hands to rub gently at her thigh. "Not really. I can't give you up either." 

"Are we crazy?" Lily was back to quiet. Barely a whisper. "Like, are we insane to be doing this to ourselves when we really haven't spent that much time together?" 

James was silent for so long she thought he wasn't going to answer. "Maybe. Probably." 

"Oh." 

"I've also thought being a bit crazy was a good thing." 

Lily smiled despite herself. "Of course, you do." 

"That doesn't sound like a complaint." 

"It'd be the pot calling the kettle black if it was one." 

James leant into her, and she closed her eyes as she leant back, glad she was facing the back of the gallery. No one had come in while they sat there, but if anyone did, the peaceful, blissful expression on her face would give her away in a split second. He was just so solid, so real. 

When her eyes opened, they were back on the painting before her. There was just something about it. So ethereal, so other-worldly, but it was just a lake, a park. It was something real, yet unreal. Surely, it wasn't a place that actually existed. 

"I almost died when that door opened." James' voice brought her back to the present. 

"Same. I thought for sure we were busted." 

"If we'd been standing the other way around, we would have been." 

"Or if I hadn't been wearing that wig." 

"Or if Gideon hadn't been so drunk." 

"I don't think it would have mattered if he was sober, you blocked me so quickly from view."

"Reflexes of a deer, obviously." 

"Obviously."  

"You say that like I'm not a superstar rugby player," James smirked as he said this, clearly not believing his own words. 

"You say that like it's not true," Lily nudged her shoulder into his. "And I know it is. But I was grateful all the same." 

James shook his head despite her teasing. "I would have knocked him out before I let him realise what he'd walked in on. And I don't think I've ever punched someone, off the field."

"You've done it on?" She raised an eyebrow. 

"Needs must," he shrugged. "And when someone deliberately eye gouges three of my team and still hasn't been red carded, it becomes a needs must." 

"Fair," Lily nodded, long accustomed to the unwritten rules of rugby. To be even fairer, fights always made the tension that much higher and the game more exciting. "How did you get Gideon away from the door? I was too busy trying not to have a heart attack after you followed him out and slammed the door." 

"Sacrifice," James grimaced. 

"What was the sacrifice?" 

"Directions to my suite for he and his, er, lady friend."

"Ouch." 

"Yeah, well they didn't like the idea of having to wait until they got back to the Hufflepuff dorms." 

"I mean, it is a long way."

"But it is near The Kitchens. And they probably needed some late night grease to soak up the alcohol." 

"True. But you gave up your room?" 

"Not quite," Lily's heart, settled over the course of their banter, skipped a beat when James broke out a wicked grin."I gave up Sirius's." 

"Evil," she approved. 

"He wasn't using it."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me. I'm sure he's done worse." 

"Absolutely. He introduced you to my parents as their future daughter in law," James looked pained. "He more than owed me." 

"You're saying he lied?" Lily did her best to keep her lips from twitching. 

"I'm saying, I'd like to take you on a date first, at least, before we settle on a date and start choosing flowers." 

"You say that like we'd choose anything but lilies" 

"You would hate that and you know it." 

"I would," Lily acknowledged. "But how did you know that?" 

"As if you could ever be a clichè," James scolded gently. "You, Lily Evans, are the exact opposite." 

"True." She smiled, something that would have been impossible when she'd first walked in. Her thumb rubbed along the back of his hand. "Don't look at me like that." 

He didn't even look surprised at her admonishment. "How am I looking at you?" 

"You know how." 

"I'm not sure I do." 

"Jaaammessss," her voice came out in a whine and it made his smirk grow even wider. "Stop it." 

"Stop what?" 

"Stop looking at me like you want to kiss me."

He grinned now. "I don't think I know any other way to look at you." 

"You must," Lily rolled her eyes, pushing at his side with her elbow. 

"Kiss you? Well, if you insist." 

"Oi!" Lily lent so far back, out of his reach, that she almost fell off the bench. She was caught though, of course she was, by James’ quick reflexes, pulling on the hand he held before releasing it to grasp her waist more securely. 

"Careful there, Evans. I didn't know my kisses were so repulsive." James wiggled his eyebrows.

"People might see," she protested, squirming. "Let go." 

James continued to hold her. "No one even comes on a Sunday. That's why I suggested it." 

The place was pretty deserted, that was true. But officially the student gallery was open and the front door was unlocked. Anyone could walk in at any moment. And even tucked at the back of the gallery, facing opposite ways on the bench, they were still too close. Much closer than they should be. 

And yet, neither of them moved away. 

"Even so. Risk taking is what got us into the last mess." Lily felt she needed to at least attempt being sensible. 

He sobered, his fingers clenching in her jumper. "Fair point." He sighed, released her with a comforting, reluctant pat. "Though, I have to say, I thought it was a bloody good kiss."

Lily felt her skin heat at the memory. It was probably a good thing James had let her go. "It was excellent." 

"We're extremely good at kissing, I think." 

"We really are." 

"We should probably do that more." 

"Uhuh." 

"Yup." 

Lily cleared her throat, and blinked. Despite the removal of James’ hand from her person, his return to his own space, his face was only inches from hers. His mouth, his lips, hovering tantalisingly close. The butterflies took flight in her stomach as something tightened behind her navel. 

"You smell nice." 

She hadn't meant to break the tension. Hadn't meant to say anything at all, really. But her words caused James to grin and the moment was gone just the same. Probably just as well. She'd just made the point that they were in a public place. It likely wouldn't do if they kissed right now, when kissing had been the catalyst for their latest situation.

So it was lucky that James did grin. It was lucky that her words caused him to move back to his original spot. It was lucky that this, in turn, broke Lily from her own trance and she forced herself not to follow him, follow his lips, land her own on them. 

"I think that's my line." 

It took several moments for her to remember what he meant. That early lab, the first after their first kiss. He'd said the same thing. It felt so long ago. 

"I borrowed it. You mind?"

James shook his head. "You complimenting me? Of course not." 

"You say that like you don't know I'm just sitting here, trying not to launch myself at you." 

"You say that like it's not what we both want. You still smell amazing." 

"I'll get Sirius to spray my perfume on your pillow." 

"He'd do it too. Just to laugh when I refused to ever leave my bed." 

"Then you wouldn't be in class."

"True. And given I then wouldn't see you at all, that would be a tragedy." He looked over at her, considering. "I'm not wrong, am I? You won't be coming back to trivia, will you?" 

Lily shook her head, half rueful, half sad. "No, no, I won't be. I don't think that would be...wise."

"Yeah," James' smile faded. "Yeah, probably not." 

"I just wouldn't want Gideon to suddenly realise what he saw. Or someone else to see how you look at me."

"How do I look at you?" 

Lily rolled her eyes as she glanced at him. "Like I'm, like, well, like I'm-" 

"Everything." James finished the sentence for her, and Lily found herself unable to look away. She felt breathless, hot, but with goosebumps all at once. He smouldered at her, and she'd never really understood how someone could do that to another person until right then. 

"That's what Remus said. The other day." 

"What did he say?" 

Lily swallowed, tried to take a breath. "Everything. He said that we were everything." 

"Aren't we?" James prodded. 

Lily paused, her uncertainty must have shown on her face because James spoke again. 

"You asked before if we were crazy. Especially given the length of time we've known each other. Even more given the length of time within that we've even got to spend together." 

He didn't sound anxious at her hesitation. He sounded remarkably assured.

"Don't you think so?" She raised an eyebrow at him. "Aren't we a little crazy?"

James shook his head. Again, Lily was in awe of his confidence. "No. I don't think we are." 

"How are you like this?" Lily asked, feeling the beginnings of exasperation, anxiety. "How are you so sure?" 

"Have you ever felt like, uh, like this, felt like you do about me, before?" James slipped over his words a little, clearly a bit hesitant to completely label his feelings, but still, Lily knew what he meant. 

"No," she admitted, honestly. "No, I really haven't. Not even close." 

"Neither," James nodded. He seemed to have expected her answer. "And that has to mean something. That has to mean that this, us, we're-" 

"Everything," Lily finished for him. His words fortified her. He fortified her. 

Remus was right. 

James was right. 

This was right. 

This, they, were everything. 

"We are," James confirmed. His hand covered hers again on the bench, squeezing it as softly as he'd spoken, before releasing her again. "We're everything, this is everything, you're not crazy and it's going to be worth it."

Lily smiled even as she mourned the loss of his touch. "Yeah. You're right." 

"And that's probably the only time I'm going to hear you say that for the rest of my life, so I'm going to savour that right now, if it's all the same to you." James lifted his face to the ceiling, closing his eyes and smiling as if in a blissful state. 

She couldn't help rolling her eyes. "Very funny." 

He only cracked an eye open, side-eyeing her through it. "Shush Evans, you're ruining my moment." 

"Alright, alright. I'm shushing," Lily acknowledged indulgently. "You have two minutes." 

She focused again on the painting in front of her. It really was quite exceptional. Now that she looked with purpose she realised at the far end of the lake was a castle. An enormous castle, yet it melted into the landscape, easily overlooked, unless one paid special attention. There was such a mystical, magical quality to the piece, she couldn't help searching for more hidden details. 

There was a large tree near the shore of the lake, a beech tree of significant size, its branches drooping into the lake, as if reaching for something below the surface. Another tree stood further back, adjacent to the castle mirage. When Lily didn't look at it directly, she could have sworn the knotted tangled limbs moved at weird and off angles. The water of the lake itself was stunning, bright and blue and mesmerising, calm yet with a depth that hinted at the possibility of multiple creatures lurking underneath.

And then Lily noticed the most stunning, most breathtaking, most shocking yet most unsurprising when she really thought about it, thing about the painting. 

"It's yours." 

James must have heard the unmistakable reverence in her voice, for he reopened an eye. "Huh?" 

Lily tilted her chin in direction of the artwork. "The painting. It's yours." 

James became tense at her side, his expression taking on signs of wariness. He turned slowly, finally facing the same way as her on the bench, to look where she did.  "Uh, yeah. It is." 

"James," she breathed. She looked between him and the piece, not wanting to take her eyes away from it for too long. "It's beautiful." 

"Oh," he huffed a nervous laugh, and she watched in wonder as all his confidence from earlier, his confidence about them, completely evaporated in the face of a well deserved compliment. He reached up, ruffling his hair self-consciously. "Er, yeah, thanks."

Lily grabbed at his arm, unsure he really got how captivated she was by it. "No, James, this is amazing. It's, it's so magical. It's so bloody good I can't look away." 

"You dont- It's not-" James didn't seem to know what to say. "It's just a painting. I saw this really really debilitated castle in Scotland when I went touring on my gap year. I just kept thinking about what it must have looked like originally."

"It's real?" Lily looked again. "It exists?" 

"Well, not like this, it doesn't," James smiled gently, still seeming ill at ease. "You'd have to use your imagination to see it like this. It's really rather run down. No one's allowed near it, it's such a hazard." 

"It's amazing," Lily looked at it again, still trying to connect the painting with the man sitting next to her. The rugby super star, the reluctantly successful chemistry student, the friend, the team captain, the all round trivia extraordinaire, the consummate kisser. Of course then he was good at this, too. 

Lily finally pulled her gaze from the delicate brush strokes that smoothed the rolling grounds of the castle. James was still frowning as he looked just slightly too far left of his work. "James, you know how brilliant this is, don't you?" 

James shrugged, "The composition is a little off. The lake-" 

"Looks like a mermaid is about to pop out and speak to me in Mermish," Lily interrupted. "For Merlin's sake, to keep with the magical theme, is there anything you're not good at?" 

"Keeping my hands off you?" He tried to lighten the tension she felt, but Lily was a woman on a mission. 

She stood, placing a hand on each shoulder, standing between his knees, before taking one hand to tilt his chin up to look at her. James allowed her direction easily, thought he did nudge his chin along her thumb several times, like a cat looking for a scratch.

"Lily, you shouldn't-"

"Shush." 

James shushed, looking rather startled at her serious tone. 

"James," she said, taking the time to pick her words. "You are a fantastically talented painter. I don't need to see anything more than this one piece of work to know that. Why are you taking the compliment so poorly? Surely it can't be the first one you've received." 

James sighed. He reached up to where her hand held his face, pulling it gently away to press his lips to the middle of her palm. Lily was so focused on him answering her question, she didn't even tell him off for the kiss, and squeezed his hand automatically when he held onto it. 

"It's, it's a bit hard to explain," he said slowly, as if testing the words even as they emerged from his mouth. 

"Try me," she said gently. 

He fidgeted. He dithered. He looked several times like he was about to speak, and then didn't. It was entirely frustrating. Utterly exasperating. A true test of her often limited patience. But Lily did her best to give him the time and space to answer the question that was clearly so hard for him. 

"It's not been," he frowned. Tried again. "It's not been the easiest, telling people that I've given up the idea of playing professionally for uni." 

"Yeah, I get that," Lily nodded. "It's unusual for someone as good as you." 

He squeezed her hand in acknowledgement of the platitude but otherwise didn't react. Like he needed to keep talking or else he'd lose his words again. 

"It wasn't easy. The coaches, the trainers, everyone who'd helped me develop, who'd had high hopes for where I might go, what I might do. Especially after my gap year. I spent half of it training for the Junior Games."

He rubbed at her wrist with his thumb. Lily wasn't even sure he was aware of the action. 

"It was even harder to tell them that I was going to do a Fine Arts degree. Actually, it was easy to say it. The worst thing was getting them to realise I was serious." 

"Surely, your parents-" Lily had met them. Seen their unconditional love for their son. There was no way she could picture Monty and Effie not approving of their son's choice. They were clearly so proud of him.

"My parents were great. More than great. Sirius too. All they want, all they ever wanted, was for me to be happy. To do what I love," James smiled, his eyes moving over Lily's shoulder to his own painting behind her. "And I love painting. I always have."

"It's not hard to see why." 

He shook his head, "It’s not about being good at it. I could barely sketch a stick figure,  at first." 

"That is more than a stick figure, my friend."

"That is a lot of practise and art classes and an entire forest of paper." 

Lily smiled softly. Encouragingly. "What was it about art then, that made it worth the grief of walking away from all those offers?" 

James shrugged, ruffled his hair again. "It was the connection I felt. Bringing something to life from a memory, a picture, a dream. Sometimes just an idle thought could turn into this huge idea. Like this," he motioned at the castle. "Once I saw the ruins, I couldn't stop thinking about them. I had to paint them." 

"I'm so glad you did. It's amazing. I'm so glad I got to see it," she turned to look at the other gallery walls. "Are there any others in here of yours? Can I see more? What's wrong?" 

James had gone very still at her side. "Nothing." 

"Sure, weirdo," she frowned. "At least try to act natural if you're going to lie. Are there more in here, then?" She moved to stand to look. 

"No," James grabbed at Lily, kept her in front of him. His hands landed on each hip and she wouldn't have wanted to move even if a fire had erupted in the gallery. 

The fact the fire would probably be Lily spontaneously combusting from James touching her was hardly relevant. 

Really, she should carry a fire extinguisher. 

Or he should. 

Someone should. 

She focused on the conversation, barely. 

"It's not that," he stroked at her hip and Lily bit her lip to keep from swooning. 

Swooning. 

What a lovely, old fashioned idea. 

Focus, Lily.

"There aren't anymore in here," James was insisting. "I promise," he added, when she looked doubtful, as if he thought she would conduct a painting by painting search. 

To be fair, it wasn't out of her wheelhouse. 

Lily took the opportunity to brush her fingers through his hair. His eyelids fluttered as he watched her warily. 

"You can't lull me into telling you where my work is."

"I wasn't," she started, freezing her movement. "But I also wasn't aware I had that kind of power."

James growled, and Lily felt that same tightening behind her navel she had in that bloody cupboard under the stairs. The hand she rested on his shoulder clenched unconsciously. 

"You have all the power." 

His voice held that husky growl she loved. It made her toes curl in her boots, her skin tingle, her breath catch in anticipation and pure, pure lust. She was standing far too close, they were touching far too much. But, oh, how she didn't want to move away. 

"Given I turn to putty, absolute melted goo, in your hands, I'd say the power share is about equal." 

"The way it should be," James smiled softly.

"Yeah," she returned the grin. 

They could have stood there, his hands resting on her waist, thumbs looped into the belt loops of her jeans, her hands threaded in his hair, crumpling his shirt, for the rest of time. Lily felt peaceful, happy, content. 

But reality rested on the edges of their bubble, and before she could let herself succumb to the bliss of the moment, Lily pulled herself out. 

"I should go," she sighed, stepping back from him, bringing her arms back to her side. 

James' fell to his knees as he released her. "Yeah. We've probably pushed our luck far enough." 

"Hmmm," Lily moved another couple of steps as he stood. "Probably." 

"Thank you for coming," James shoved his hands in his pockets. "I appreciate it." 

"Like I could stay away." She mirrored his pose, hands gripping the insides of her coat pockets. Safer that way. She wouldn't try to grab him. "It was nice to talk, though. And I meant it, before." She looked at the painting behind her and then back to him. "I really really like your painting. I'd love to see more." 

"I'll think about it," he nodded. He reached back down to the bench, lifting several books Lily hadn't noticed before. "These are for you. For your project. From Dad."

Lily couldn't help the warmth that spread across her face. "That's so kind. He shouldn't have."

"I tried to tell him. He insisted," James looked down at the books, flicking them in his hands to look at the titles. "He really liked you."

"I liked them," she smiled. "Both of them."

"I'm glad," James' eyes blazed again, just like they had before. 

Lily swallowed, tore her gaze. "I really need to go." 

Much longer, she might throw herself at him. 

More than she already had. 

He nodded. "Here." He stretched forward to pass her the books. Their hands brushed, the contact caused a zap, and Lily bit the inside of her cheek, hard. 

"Tell them thanks." 

"I already did." 

Lily nodded, let out her breath. "Alright, I'll see you in class." 

"I'll be in the front row." 

She ignored his smirk and made to move past him, to remove herself from the gallery, the Fine Art building, the campus, before she did something stupid. Or he did. 

His arm caught her around the middle, stopping her movement. Before she could protest, even look up, he placed a gentle, sweet kiss of her cheek. It was a farewell, yet it held so much promise. 

"Couldn't resist," he breathed in her ear. 

"I'm sure," she replied, her words slightly shaky. "Bye James." 

"Bye, Lily." 

Chapter Text

Sirius: Good luck with your lab 

Sirius: Don’t blow it up this time, yeah? 

Sirius: I don’t think mum and dad have enough money to replace the entire Science building if you blow it up cause you’re too busy staring at Evans

Sirius: No matter how much they like her

James: I resent that implication whole heartedly.

Sirius: That doesn’t make it any less true

James: I mean… 

James: how much does a science building cost anyway? 

Sirius: That’s the spirit mate

Sirius: Make sure you report back

James: You just want the drama. 

Sirius: I have never denied that I live for the drama

Sirius: And I happen to be blessed with a brother that continues to provide it. Bless your cotton rugby socks. 

James: Go study something Russian, will you?

Sirius: Well, if you insist. 

James sighed as his phone buzzed again straight after Sirius’ last message, this time with a picture from his way too gleeful, oh-so-smug, best friend turned brother. The photo contained a fresh bottle of vodka. James’ favourite, in fact. Sirius’ face filled the rest of the frame, but James didn’t need to see any of the background to know that Sirius was standing in James’ room. 

Holding James’ vodka. 

It wasn’t like James was going to be drinking it in the near future. They were still only at the start of the season, which would stretch through the semester, break for the holidays, and continue until about midway through the autumn semester, with finals predicted to be just prior to the study leave break that occurred two weeks before exams began. 

So no, he wasn’t going to be drinking the vodka anytime soon. A couple of beers maybe, on a bye weekend or during the holidays. But not a bottle of vodka. He’d write himself off and it would set a terrible example of his team. Never mind the hangover. He was always such a lightweight during the season, it took weeks to build up his tolerance again when the rugby season finished. 

But, he still liked to look at it. 

Still liked to have it there, a memory from a foreign away trip, a gift from the local club president when he’d been awarded the tournament Man of the Match award. 

Fucking Sirius was going to drink his vodka. 

James swore under his breath as he continued weaving around students. It would have been quicker to cut through the middle of the deserted, spacious quad and avoid the crowds. But given it was absolutely pelting with rain, there was a reason it was so deserted. Water already dripped down his neck, his hair soaked, from the dash he’d made across campus, Science and Art being on absolute opposite ends, of course. 

It was probably sensible, given not many students that were studying fine arts degrees took science classes, and vice versa. 

But still. 

He shouldn't have to weather such conditions just because others didn't value being well rounded. 

He had half a mind to turn around, take his soaked hair, drenched clothes and waterlogged shoes back to Gryffindor Tower. It was really, really tempting. On the balance, he probably had a good enough mark in that he could afford to skip a class that may or may not contain a pop quiz, and still pass the semester. 

Hot tea sounded good. 

So did dry clothes. 

A shower would be even better. 

And yet, James persevered. 

Fought his way through the crowds. Pushed the double doors open into the science building, shaking water from his jackets, his hair. Stomped his boots across the entry mats, so he wouldn't slip on the smooth linoleum floor. Made his way into his designated science laboratory. 

"You're not late, for once." 

And there. 

There it was. 

The reason James was standing in rain soaked shoes and damp clothes and had spots on his glasses. 

The reason he attended class today, against all the odds that had stood in his path, against all desires to go home and shower, against all the temptations of tea, of his bed, of watching some Netflix and actually chilling. 

Not that he did any other kind. 

But now that he was in the presence of the reason for his perseverance, James couldn't help but smile as he made his way to his bench. 

"No, I'm not late. In fact, I'm ten minutes early." 

"You do look like something the cat dragged in, though." 

Charming, as always. 

James’ smile widened. He pulled his stool out, swinging his bag onto the spare next to him. Perks of not having an actual lab partner. 

"I'll take that as a compliment." 

"You would." 

"What does that-" He cut off as he finally looked up at Lily, his first glance since he'd walked into the room. Her eyebrows were raised as he'd expected from her dry tone, but that wasn't what had caught his attention. "What the hell are you wearing?" 

Lily smirked, taking the wooden pipe out of her mouth. She tapped it against her lip. "Do you need a clue?" 

James took in her outfit. Green Tweed blazer, matching newsboy cap. White shirt, black tie. The wooden pipe. Old fashioned notebook open on the table in front of her. Smug look on her face.

"Sherlock Holmes?" 

"Elementary, my dear, Watson," her voice dropped. "I mean, my dear, Potter, of course." 

And this. 

This was why he was ten minutes early. 

His peers weren't exactly punctual, often dragging themselves into the room just as the class was starting. This gave James the chance, nay the opportunity even, to have these interactions. These chats. 

He lived for these chats. 

Stolen moments is all that they were. 

But, by God, they made his day. 

His week. 

James let his warm smile be the only reaction to her words. It was all he could do, really, even in an empty classroom. "Now, you see, knowing who you're dressed up as doesn't help me understand why you're dressed up?" 

"Patience, Potter." 

He hated when she was coy. 

He loved when she was coy. 

"How's training?" 

"Good," James nodded, stretching his arm reflexively, rolling his shoulder as he recalled the sessions that week. "Away game this weekend." 

"Remus said. Where abouts?" 

"Batons." His hand crept up and rubbed at the tight muscles. "About a three hour drive." 

"Will you stay over there?" 

"Yup. They're putting us up for a night. Hotel, I think." 

"Fancy," Lily frowned even as she spoke. "Are you okay?" 

James’ hand dropped back to the bench immediately. "Yeah, fine. What's on for your weekend?" 

"Studying. Biology assignment." Lily answered carelessly, still frowning. "What's wrong?" 

"Nothing." James fought the urge to roll his shoulder again. It was alright if he didn't think about it.

She came around the front of her desk. Closer to his bench. "Did you hurt your shoulder?" 

James shrugged. "It's fine." 

Lily snorted, "Looks it." 

James stretched his neck this way and that. His muscles ached and groaned in protest, making him feel slightly dizzy. "It'll come right." 

She moved around. Behind him. "What'd you do?" 

"Got sacked last night at training." 

"Who caught you?" 

James smirked, even though she couldn't see his face. "Fabian. But don't tell him it wasn't on purpose." 

"Your secret's safe with me." 

He hadn't even worked out a reply when Lily's hand on his neck made him jump out of his skin. 

Super suave, James was. 

"What are you doing?" It was needless hiss. It was very obvious by the way her hand moved what she was doing. 

She answered him regardless. "Helping." A second hand joined the first, rubbing along his sore, tired muscles, bumping over the kinks and knots below his skin's surface. 

He tried not to moan at how good it felt. 

Devoted a rather ridiculous amount of effort to the cause. 

"Someone could walk in," he pointed out, almost against his will. 

"I've got my eye on the door," Lily's hands didn't even pause. "Is it helping?"

"So much." James could have sobbed as his muscles released. 

Her hands moved confidently, competently across his neck and where it connected with his shoulder. She squeezed, rubbed, soothed until he wanted to weep, wanted to grab her, wanted to return the favour. Return a favour at least. 

Alright, he wanted to pull her onto his lap, press his lips to hers and bury his hands in her hair until she felt every inch of his gratitude. 

He had a lot of gratitude. 

Luckily, or unluckily, before James' brain could fail him and he acted on any one of the seventeen base emotions that threatened to create numerous nefarious actions that were better to remain thoughts only, the door handle squeaked and the door itself creaked as it opened. 

James had to hand it to Lily, she might compliment James on his professional level reflexes, but she was no slowpoke herself. Before there was even a crack of light between the frame and door, Lily had removed her hands from James’ neck and was at the back of the classroom, moving boxes around as if she'd been there the whole time. 

Feeling sluggish from the release she'd performed on his neck, James was still yearning for her touch, commiserating himself for the loss of it, when students started to enter the room. 

All that didn't even touch on the flood of heat that had entered his body at her touch. 

Safe to say, it was a good job he was sitting down. Save himself the embarrassment. 

"Potter," Fabian called, entering the classroom with Hestia tucked under his arms. One of the better results of James’ decision making that night. "How goes it?" 

"Yeah, alright," James tried to grin easily back. It might have come off as more of a grimace, he wasn't sure. "You?" 

Fabian grinned in that easy way he had. "Great, actually." He deposited Hestia at her own table before dropping into his usual seat behind James. 

"I can see that." There, his face felt like it had relaxed into a more natural, less terrifying expression now. 

"Great party, Friday." 

James nodded, "Gryffindor definitely knows how to throw a party." 

"I'll say." There was a slap of books onto the bench in front of Fabian as Gideon joined them. "Sorry for cutting your grass there, Potter." 

He shrugged off the apology. "No worries. Hope you had fun."

"Did I ever," Gideon wiggled his eyebrows, as if James didn't know what he'd got up to in Sirius’ room. 

As if he hadn't heard it through the walls of the suite. 

"More to the point, did she?" 

Gideon looked offended at his brother's implication. "Of course. I'm a gentleman." 

"That's not how anyone that knows you would describe you, but sure, bro." Fabian looked between them. "What happened with Potter?" 

"Nothing at-" 

"Walked in on him in a cupboard," Gideon cut off James, giving them a sly wink. "Also being a gentleman." 

"That's not-"

"In a cupboard?" Fabian raised his eyebrows. "I'm not sure you could call that being a gentleman." 

James really wished this conversation wasn't being had several feet away from Lily. 

He really really wished that. 

"Posh Spice didn't seem to be complaining." Gideon's glee was obviously increasing in direct proportion to the discomfort James was displaying. 

"Could you just-"

"Alright, everyone, should we get started?" Lily's voice had never sounded so sweet. 

And given James was more than half way obsessed with her, and found her voice similar to that of an angelic chorus on the regular, that was saying something. 

The class quietened as students shuffled bags and books, scraped chairs into place and clicked pens. Lily moved back to the front of the room, a wide smile on her face, pipe held to the corner of her lips, eyes dancing with mischief and enthusiasm. 

She was a sight. 

He loved that she knew dressing up for the lab was a bit naff. He loved that she knew half the students probably wouldn't get it. Or if they did, would think her a dork. He loved that she did it anyway, because she got a kick out of it. He loved that she wasn't afraid to be herself. 

He - 

James shook himself and trained his active attention on the source of his unconscious musings. 

"I thought we'd have a bit of fun with the lab today," Lily was explaining. "Most of the labs from here on out are either revision or open exam preparation. For those I'll just be sitting around here, in case you want support. They aren't even mandatory. But this is our last practical lab, and I thought we'd go out with a bang." 

She paused, cocked her head, eyes shooting James’ way. 

"Not with an actual bang, hopefully," she clarified. "Even if that is how we started our semester." 

James held his hands up in the air. "I make absolutely no promises." 

Lily rolled her eyes as the class tittered. "At least let us know if we should duck." 

"I'll do my best," he vowed solemnly. 

"All I can ask, I suppose," Lily nodded and then reached back to the teacher's desk behind her. She held up some papers, folded to make a small notebook, complete with a light brown cover. "On each of your desks, you should find one of these." 

She waited for the subsequent shuffle and flicking of pages. James pulled his toward him, already impressed by her commitment to the lesson. Clearly she enjoyed role play. 

Fuck, do not think about that.

James did his best to curb his wandering thoughts and listen to the explanation. 

"Now, for our lab today, I am no longer your talented TA, Lily Evans. Instead, I am for the next hour, Sherlock Holmes." Lily tapped her pipe to her lip before gesturing it wildly as she announced her name. James couldn't help his grin. She was just too cute. 

"And for today, you all have become Watson, my dear assistant." She produced a small stoppered bottle from her pocket and held it aloft. "So I say to you all, here is the most challenging problem that a chemist can face. To be presented with a small, sealed, unlabeled bottle containing a colorless substance and to be asked, what is it?" 

She moved around the room, placing an identical looking bottle on each bench. James had to fight the urge to brush his hand over hers when she dropped one in front of him. Her eyes flicked to his momentarily, her pupils dilated as if she knew his thoughts, and then continued on. James sat back, the breath he hadn't realised he held escaping him. 

"We face such a puzzle now, my dear Watsons. These mysterious vials were delivered by courier this morning. The accompanying letter requests us to ascertain the identities of these substances; the letter bore the seal and signature of an heir to the throne of a small European monarchy. The resolution of this mystery is a matter of utmost gravity. I have not been faced with such a task since the Adventure of the Moravian Mountebank!"

Lily again paused with a dramatic flourish. She seemed unsurprised at the matching blank looks that all the students showed. 

"You haven’t read that one, huh?," she asked. "Never mind." 

She returned to the front of the room, setting the box down next to her laptop before continuing. 

"Now, listen carefully. The characterization of an unknown is a process involving logic, careful observation, and deduction. We begin by examining general properties, the presence or absence of which can eliminate whole classes of substances. We then carry out preliminary tests with very small amounts of material. You only need to use enough to see what happens. Because it was sent from so far away, if you use it up, you can't get any more."

She pressed a couple of keys on her laptop, kicking the projector into gear and bringing up the lesson plan. “There are a few questions that you need to consider to get started. Those are the ones here.” She indicated the screen behind her. 

James forced himself to focus, forced himself not to think about how brilliant she was, how clever to have come up with this lab. It couldn’t have been Slughorn’s doing. He hadn’t the imagination. He looked at the list of questions. 

How does the substance respond to heat?
Is it a pure anhydrous substance or does it contain water of hydration?
Does it dissolve in water?
Does it dissolve in any other solvent?
If it dissolves in water, how does the solution behave? 

“You'll find more questions and more suggestions as to how to determine what your substance is, in your notebooks,” she held up the homemade, tea stained papers, “so be sure to consult them. Any questions?”

Gideon raised his hand, only to have Lily raise an eyebrow at him. The tall broad man withered under her less than impressed gaze. 

“Not a competition, then, I reckon,” he muttered. 

“Not one with a prize at least,” Lily acknowledged, a smirk on her face. “But who's to say you couldn’t try to beat the other benches anyway?”  

The majority of students clearly found this to be incentive enough, and got themselves to work. James took his time, reading through the notebook, considering the glass vial he held in his hand. The classroom buzzed with enthusiasm for the juvenile competition, and James found himself slightly annoyed on Lily’s behalf; that they hadn’t shown this kind of energy as she’d explained their mystery task. 

Deciding to err on the side of caution, given Lily’s request that he not finish their practical sessions the way he’d begun them, James decided he’d test his solution in water first. He pulled a smaller beaker toward him, added some distilled water, and used a dropper to extract the smallest amount of his unknown into it. 

Hmmm, some dissolution, but the colour of the water seemed to have changed a bit. The surface almost had a shiny appearance. James consulted his notebook, decided again to avoid heat for as long as he could, and decided to test it in several other solvents that had been supplied in that day’s equipment box. 

Several goes later, he’d ruled out several options, but not enough to determine what his solution was. 

There was nothing for it. 

He’d have to get out of his bunsen burner. 

James went to work setting it up, smirking to himself at the ease with which he could put everything together. Stand, metal gauze, beaker. Burner, pipe, connect it to the gas. Several drops of the liquid into the beaker. Gas on. Important, that one.

Match, strike, flame. 

As James waited for the solution to heat, hopefully providing some clarity to the situation, he became a bit more aware of the rest of the room. Lily had been moving throughout the pairs, helping, adjusting, explaining. She’d so far avoided James’ table, other than a glance as she’d passed by. 

"I like your costume, Lily," he heard one of the girls, Emma, he thought, say as Lily wandered through the back benches. “You totally pull off that pipe.” 

"Thanks," she answered, her voice full of the smile he knew must have stretched across her face. "Bit of fun." 

"Who are you, again?" Someone else asked. Hestia, probably. 

"She's Sherlock Holmes, obviously." 

"Well, it's not that obvious if I didn't get it, is it?" 

"The experiment’s written as a who-done-it mystery, and she's wearing plaid, who else could she be?" 

"I don't know, Basil, that mouse detective?" 

"Why would she be dressed as a mouse?" 

"Because he's a detective and this is a mystery?" 

"Don't turn my words back on me." 

"I'm not! I'm just pointing out that she could be a mouse just as well as she could be Sherlock Holmes." 

"The mouse is the better choice, in my opinion." 

"That's so rude, she's clearly Sherlock." 

"I'm allowed my opinion." 

"She does have the hair for it, I guess." 

"Is he a ginger mouse then?" 

"Pretty sure." 

"Huh." 

"Yeah." 

"Well, maybe she is Basil, then."

"I told you." 

"Yeah, alright." 

"I'm Sherlock Holmes," Lily said, full of suppressed laughter as she moved back past the bickering pair again. "Not a mouse." 

"Fine," he could hear the petulance in Hestia’s tone. "You looked better the other night, anyway. At the Gryffindor party."

"Thanks, but I should hope so," Lily answered lightly. "You looked great, too." 

He hadn't even realised that Lily and Hestia had seen each other at the party. And if they'd seen each other -

"What did you go as?" Emma interrupted his thought process. "I don't think I saw you."

James tensed. This wasn't a good path, hopefully Lily would change the subject - 

"She was Posh Spice. Full 90s, black spandex bodycon dress, Posh Spice. She had a wig and everything." 

Hopefully, no one else was really listening. Hopefully no one else was so focused on the conversation at the back of the room as James was. Hopefully - 

"Posh Spice?" Gideon turned around at Hestia’s description. "Did you say Lily went as Posh Spice?" 

James shifted in his chair. There really wasn't anything he could do now. Anything he tried to do would just make it more obvious. Draw more attention. 

"Me and about six others," Lily laughed lightly. James wondered if he was the only one that could hear the strain in her voice. "I think there's a photo of a whole lot of Spice Girls floating around." 

"Was that your friend that was literally wearing a flag as a dress?" Another girl this time, Bella, who was usually a bit quiet and covered in cat hair. "Like not a dress made to look like a flag, but an actual flag?" 

"Hmmm," Lily confirmed. "That's Marlene. That looks good, Emma, keep going."

"She's an RA, yeah?" 

He could hear Lily drifting through the room, moving closer towards the front, towards James. 

"Yup, that's her. RA for level two. You need to turn the heat up on that Bunsen, Jordan." 

"You could see her nipples through that dress." Bella's disgust was evident. 

"Could you? Didn't notice. Steve, no, don't put that in there. It's the next jar over, yes, that one. Does anyone need any help?" 

She was clearly trying to get back control of the room. He admired her effort. The lab was innovative, entertaining and engaging. But discussing the ins and outs of uni housing parties were hard to beat. 

"You were talking to that other chemistry TA. From my friend's class." Kritteka Patil said quietly. She did everything quietly. She lived on the same floor as James in Gryffindor Tower, had a bunch of rowdy room-mates, never usually spoke up in class. But she was speaking up now. 

At the worst possible moment. 

"Uh," Lily paused now, clearly not expecting this line of questioning. "No, no, I don't think that was me." 

"I'm pretty sure it was you," Kritteka nodded. "Most of the other Posh's had faked tan, but not you. It was by the stairs. He grabbed you, I think. He's such a creep." 

James snuck a look. Lily’s cheeks were both red and pale, her mouth drawn, eyes darting. His hands clenched around the test tubes he held, full of testing agents and the unknown substance. It took a stern word to himself to stay in his chair and keep his mouth shut. 

“Where was this?” Gideon asked, sounding thoughtful. 

Too thoughtful.