Work Text:
Yuk Hyejeong stood patiently outside the door to her former home as she waited. She was early, but she figured she could wait at the apartment.
“Hyejeong ssi, you are early,” she looked up when the door opened and was surprised to see the woman in front of her. Though, really, she shouldn’t be. Ikjun had made no secret of his relationship with his long-time friend.
She might have been one of the first people to know about Ikjun’s resolution to pursue his friend. Unwittingly, of course, as she had interrupted their plan for the past Christmas. Knowing, however, did not truly prepare her to face the reality of confronting the other woman so comfortable in her former home in any sense.
The fact remained that while her relationships had all but fallen apart, Ikjun’s had thrived. And Songhwa had always been “the other woman” in her relationship with Ikjun, not that the two of them had done anything in appropriate during the time she was dating and married to Ikjun. Far from it. They had kept their distance. She could not even remember one time when the two of them went out alone, just themselves, back then.
“Songhwa ssi,” years of being in the business world prepared her to be courteous in all situations, although really she was at a loss of what to say. “Yes, my meeting finished early and I was hoping I could maybe pick up Uju a little earlier.”
“He’s not back yet,” Songhwa replied, stepping aside to let her into the apartment. “Please, come in.”
Hyejeong walked into the apartment that she was once the mistress of. It was an awkward feeling, being welcomed back as a guest to this place. She had not had any particularly fond memories of the apartment, tried as she might to recall. It hasn’t felt like home when she was still married, and after giving birth to Uju, she had not spent much time here.
“Uju has a play date with Mone. Ikjun has gone to pick him up. They are supposed to be soon,” she noted that Songhwa seemed to not know what to say as well in her presence. “Would you like something to drink? Coffee? Tea?”
“Coffee if you have any?”
“Sure”
As Songhwa moved to make coffee in the kitchen, Hyejeong took the time to study the living area. Nothing much had changed since she visited the last time she was back in Seoul – almost a year ago now – when she interrupted their Christmas dinner.
There were a few new photos on the shelves. Ones that featured Ikjun and Uju mostly, but there were one or two where Songhwa was also in the frame.
Hyejeong noted with a pang in her heart at how happy the three of them looked. As if they were the family of 3. She did not even have a photo like this with Uju. Not since he was a baby.
“Here you go,” she turned when Songhwa passed a steaming cup of coffee to her in a nice ceramic cup and took a sip. The sweet flavour of grounded coffee, freshly brewed, prompted her to look into the kitchen area.
“This is wonderful,” she complemented, gesturing the coffee machine that sat on the counter at the side. “You have a nice set up there.”
“Thank you,” her companion – she could consider Songhwa a companion, right? After all, they were all inescapably tied together in this awkward relation of the modern era. “Most days we don’t have time for this in the morning before we have to rush out. But on the weekends, it’s a treat to relax with a nice steaming cup of coffee that’s brewed right.”
Hyejeong nodded at her explanation. She could picture it almost, the two of them relaxing side-by-side on the couch, chatting, nursing coffee.
The way Songhwa described their habits did not escape her. As much as she herself was out of the lives of Ikjun and Uju, Songhwa had become a regular presence.
“Imo, Mone and I drew this for you!” Hyejeong turned at the sound of her son, his voice booming through, announcing his presence before his little feet could carry him inside the proper living room.
And Uju, her own son, came into a screeching stop at the sight of her. He looked at her, hard, before turning to Songhwa, his eyes wide.
“Uju yah, inssa haeyaji,” his father called behind him, no doubt having recognised the extra pair of shoes at the door.
Hyejeong watched with a bit of jealousy as her son greeted her a little awkwardly, as if she was a friend of the family instead of his birth mother.
She did not miss the look Ikjun sent to Songhwa, as if asking her if anything had happened, and the subtle smile and shake of her head in response. They hadn’t spoken a word, hadn’t even moved towards one another, but Hyejeong was certain a whole conversation has already transpired between the two.
“Uju yah, why don’t you go clean up first?” Ikjun turned to his son, ruffling the hair on the boy’s head affectionately. Uju nodded, and her heart leaped when her son looked at her again with wide eyes. Just when she was about to extend her hand to her son, Uju turned and tugged at Songhwa’s shirt.
“Imo, will you come help me?” he said briefly, and Hyejeong felt her heart cracked a little.
She watched as Songhwa scooped his son up with practised ease and headed out of the living area, shooting a shy smile her way before heading out. It was a weird feeling to sort out at the moment. She knew she had no one to blame for the distance between herself and her son, but it didn’t make seeing her son chose another woman in front of her any easier to swallow. It was supposed to be her family – though she had to admit it was one that she broke because she wanted an escape. She had thought she wanted a family, that she was ready for a family, only to find herself feeling trapped, almost suffocated and buried, with the added responsibility of motherhood.
As opposed to how Ikjun had thrived in being a father, she faltered badly. She jumped at the chance to leave it for a short period, a reprieve, or so she had thought at that time. It was only for a year. Just for her to live for herself one last year before she would return to being a wife and a mother. But that year turned into two and more and soon she was swept away.
Not just with her roots and her job, but also with another man.
It was reckless and irresponsible of her. There was no other way of looking at it.
But still, she couldn’t stop herself from wondering if she had ever seen that glint in Ikjun’s eyes and the indulgent smile on his lips she saw earlier, just briefly when her ex-husband looked at the neurosurgeon, directed at her. And she thought to herself, if Ikjun had looked at her that way, would it have changed the way she had behaved then?
“Uju misses you a lot, you know,” she turned around to look at her ex-husband. “He just doesn’t know how to cope with you being away.”
“He seems to be coping just fine. He will have a new mom soon?” she replied, only realising how bitter she sounded at Ikjun’s frown.
“Songhwa doesn’t set out to replace you. In fact, she helped convinced Uju he should spend the weekend with you.”
“I’m sorry.”
Ikjun shook his head at her words, “Uju still loves you. You will always be his eomma.”
“And you are alright with it?” She had to ask. “The two of you.”
“We did talk about it. It will be tricky. But if you want, you will always be part of Uju’s lives. It’s not a competition on whom Uju likes more. It’s not fair to do that to him.”
Hyejeong nodded at his words.
She didn’t know if she was being petty, but she distinctly remembered feeling threatened by the petite woman when she first started dating Ikjun all those years back.
It had been a foreign feeling, one she never had to contend with before in life. But somehow, at the back of her mind, she had felt that things were not quite as simple as what met the eyes.
“Hyejeong ah, those two have been friends since Year 1. Whatever is to happen would have happened already between them,” Ahn Jeongwon had said to her when she questioned him on the status on their relationship.
Obviously, they had been proven wrong. For whatever reason, whatever was destined to be between the two did not happen then. It took them twenty years to find one another.
“Ikjun ah, are you happy?”
Her ex looked at her, confused, “Yes. Why? Are you alright?”
“Yes, yes I am,” she should not have asked. There was no denying how happy he looked – radiant. “Just want to make sure.”
“Should we go check in on them?”
“Yea, sure,” she nodded numbly and moved to follow Ikjun to her son’s bedroom.
Like the living room, nothing much has changed except for a few new photos. One of which being a portrait of hers that used to sit on the bedside table in the master bedroom.
She watched from the doorway as Ikjun moved inside to stand beside Songhwa and Uju, who was obviously trying to win his way with aegyo to his imo quickly turned his attention to his father. The thumping of her heart was so loud such that she couldn’t really hear what was being said, but she didn’t need any audio. She only had to watch as Ikjun moved to stand beside Songhwa and drape his arm across her shoulder as they faced the young boy together.
The rest of her stay inside her former home was a blur. She recalled the unfamiliar feeling of holding Uju’s small hand in hers, the reluctance put on by the young boy in putting on his shoes to leave, and the numerous waves back to the couple standing at the doorway.
She felt like an intruder, but she also knew she had never stood a chance. She had only thought Ikjun was reserved with his affection, but now she knew. She could tell from the gentle look and touches he sent to Songhwa that she simply was not the person to unlock this side of him.
Something was just not meant to be. Their relationship was one of them.