Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Character:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Collections:
Anonymous
Stats:
Published:
2020-12-01
Words:
444
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
4
Kudos:
25
Bookmarks:
3
Hits:
231

cant love anymore

Summary:

Tsukasa can't love anymore

Work Text:

Some days Tsukasa wants to flail around as bitter harsh sounds claw at his throat and choke him.

Scratching up and down his arms in a frenzy, how did he get here?

 

Why was he here? His thoughts race as he remembers everything he doesn't want to remember that usually he can forget.

There is a shock that never goes away, will always be there haunting him even more than the pain of the knife twisting into his ribs.

 

I loved, I loved you, I loved 

 

Who was he before? He can't remember anymore who he was or what he looked like, only hazy memories time has stolen away, before it stole every thing and

 

Amane Amane I loved you, I loved you, I still love you

 

Who was Tsukasa before cold seeped into his bones, the taste of blood seeped into his mouth and choked him and wouldn't go away, the dried blood settled underneath his finger nails.

 

I loved you I loved you so much I loved

 

Love was empty and hollow, it felt like getting a knife shoved into your ribs, it felt like clawing up and down your arms until your arms were tired, it felt like being choked. He can still remember his screams and cries no one answered, and the taste of Amane's hand covering his mouth.

 

I loved you! I loved! I used to love!

 

It was over all so quickly as he felt it, coughed up blood so much he couldn't breathe. Yes before this, Tsukasa could feel love. He wanted to scream at the thought of the memory, wanted to grip his brother's shirt by the collar and yell at him.

 

I loved you! I loved! I once loved!

 

Tsukasa wanted to do things too! He used to like going out to see the stars at night, he had wanted to grow up, to have a house and a family he would treat better than his family ever treated him. He have someone who loved him who he would love back, everyday they would understand they would never make him feel like a burden. 

Something in this world that wouldn't just leave him, oh how he wanted to scream, Amane I loved you why? You weren't the only one with a dream. I dreamed too.

Tsukasa lets his arms drop. Hes too tired to continue now... 

I loved you, I loved! I can't love anymore it's all bitter and messed up. 

 

He puts a smile on his face so it won't show, he won't give anyone the satisfaction of seeing him feel anything. The world has already taken enough, he has nothing left to give.