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Jihoon hates everybody. Well, that’s what he says. He hates everyone around him, even his closest friends. He can’t remember when it started but he knows the reason why.
Kwon Soonyoung. Jihoon thinks, while gritting his teeth. Kwon Soonyoung is the main reason why he hates everybody.
Soonyoung is bubbly. Jihoon hates that.
Soonyoung is charismatic. Jihoon hates that.
Soonyoung is astonishing. Jihoon hates that.
Soonyoung is everything Jihoon isn’t. Jihoon hates that.
Soonyoung is Jihoon’s exact opposite. Why does the guy always shine brighter than anyone else? Why does the guy captivate anyone’s heart that easily? Jihoon hates it so much.
How can Soonyoung just walk through the streets wearing a bright smile on his face every single time Jihoon sees him? How can Soonyoung be so friendly and helpful to anyone whenever Jihoon encounters him?
“Hey, the spoon will break if you keep doing that.” Someone interrupts Jihoon. Jihoon knows the owner of that voice very well.
Jihoon looks up and smirks, “So what?”
Soonyoung laughs, “Why are you so grumpy?” He sits beside Jihoon, “Eat up, Jihoon, or I’ll snatch away your food.”
Jihoon groans to himself. Why does he always sit beside me during lunch? There are so many tables around the cafeteria. Damn it.
As peacefully as he can, Jihoon eats his lunch without looking or even talking to Soonyoung. He doesn’t want to talk to the latter, he hates him and all of his guts. He just wants to finish his food and go to his next class.
When Jihoon finishes packing and stands up, Soonyoung calls his name. Jihoon doesn’t want to face him but his body betrays him.
“Wait up, we can go together.” Soonyoung tells him, making Jihoon look at him confused, “Silly, we have the same classes together. Aigoo, Jihoonie, how can you forget?”
Jihoonie . Jihoon mentally snorts. Why does he have to call me that? We’re not even close to begin with.
Jihoon ignores him and starts walking. Soonyoung, on the other hand, catches up with Jihoon’s pace and puts his arms around Jihoon’s shoulder.
“Hey!” Jihoon flinches, surprised by Soonyoung’s action. “Remove your arm around me, stupid.”
“Why? Are you allergic or something?”
“No. People might misunderstand. I don’t want to cause an issue, especially with your reputation as someone famous in college.” Jihoon explains.
Soonyoung chuckles, “Wow, that’s the longest thing I’ve ever heard from you.” Soonyoung still did not remove his arm around Jihoon, “Let them be. Besides, we’re buddies.”
Jihoon saves his energy for his class. He didn’t bother to argue with Soonyoung anymore. But he still hates him.
★彡
Days after their mini encounter, Jihoon still hates Soonyoung. Okay, that’s nothing new. But he hates him more than ever because it’s as if the universe is playing tricks on him.
Jihoon and Soonyoung are assigned as partners for their college night’s performance. Because of this, the class relies on them. Their grades will depend on Jihoon and Soonyoung’s performance. Jihoon wants to refuse but he didn’t bother to. And he’s too exhausted to argue to anyone else.
Right now, the two are inside Jihoon’s studio at his home, trying to compose a song or create a mashup for their performance.
“I told you to be quiet!” Jihoon shouts, “I can’t concentrate!”
“But you’re just trying to own up everything! I just want to help, is there something wrong with that?!” Soonyoung shouts back, frustrated, “Jihoon, why do you hate me?”
Jihoon pauses and looks away, “I hate everybody.” He answers.
“I don’t think so. You only act that way to me. You don’t think I don’t notice?” Soonyoung breathes, “I’m just trying to be friends with you but you always ignore or even shout at me! What did I even do to you?”
Soonyoung stands up to collect his belongings then he walks out of Jihoon's studio, slamming the door, leaving Jihoon there dumbfounded.
“Wow, Lee Jihoon, you’re so messed up.” He tells himself. He doesn’t exactly know why he started to hate Soonyoung. The guy didn’t even do anything to him.
★彡
The next day Jihoon wakes up, he thinks about what happened last night. He messed up. He can’t finish his composition and most of all, he lost his partner… so he thought.
Jihoon stands up upon hearing the doorbell. When he opens the door, it’s Soonyoung standing in front of him.
“I-I thought you won’t come.” Jihoon greets him.
Soonyoung smiles, “Hey, of course I will. We were both tired last night, I understand. Let’s continue the composition so we can practice everything. We only have two weeks left.”
What? Jihoon asks himself. This is one of the things Jihoon hates about Soonyoung, he’s too forgiving and understanding to anyone else, regardless if they’re close to him or not.
Surprisingly, the two have created progress on their performance. Jihoon finishes the melody of the song while Soonyoung creates some routine that can be added to their performance.
“Let’s take a break first.” Soonyoung initiates, “We’ve been working for hours, we’ll get drained if we don’t.”
Jihoon feels guilty. Jihoon shouted at Soonyoung last night but he still came to his studio for their performance.
“I’m sorry.” Jihoon says. Soonyoung looks at him and continues, “I’m sorry for last night.”
Jihoon looks away and walks out of the room. He goes to the kitchen to drink water because what he did kinda dehydrated him. At least I apologized, right? He thinks.
Jihoon opens the fridge and the cupboards to look for something to cook but he found nothing. He mentally notes to himself that he needs to fill them up with food after their practice today.
Jihoon walks back to his studio, “H-hey, do you mind food delivery service? I kinda ran out of food.”
Soonyoung shakes his head, “It’s fine. What are you getting?”
“Hmm, I don’t know. What do you want?”
“I’m down with anything though.” Soonyoung answers, “You want to eat here or we go to the mall?”
Jihoon pauses for a few seconds, “I think we can go to the mall instead. I need to go grocery shopping too.” He glances at Soonyoung, “We can halt our practice today. Let’s just continue tomorrow.”
★彡
“You know, you look better when you smile.” Soonyoung tells him while they’re waiting for the dessert, “You always look like you’re gonna smack people’s heads whenever I see you. Are you sure you don’t hate me?”
Jihoon sighs, “I told you, I hate everybody.”
“Why is that, though?”
Jihoon shrugs, “I just hate everybody, that’s all.”
“But there should be a reason. You can’t just hate everybody like that.”
You’re the reason, though. Jihoon tells himself. Of course, he can’t let Soonyoung know, especially now that he’s in front of him.
Afterwards, Soonyoung insists to help Jihoon do grocery shopping. As much as Jihoon would want to disagree, the former drags him already. Soonyoung even gets them a big cart as if they’re buying the entire market.
“Hey, why are there so many packs of ramen and cola? Do you want to die?” Soonyoung asks him while scanning the whole cart, “And you also got instant food packs. Seriously, Jihoon?”
“I can’t cook. I don’t have a maid and my parents don’t live with me.” Jihoon rolls his eyes, “If you’re gonna nag at everything I get, just go home and I’ll do this myself.”
Soonyoung rolls his eyes at him too, “No, I won’t go home until you reduce the amount of instant and junk food from your cart.” Soonyoung fishes his phone from his pocket and dials a number, “Hello, Jun. Oh, Wonwoo! Where’s your boyfriend? Please hand it over him. Hey, Jun. Yeah, it’s me. I’m just gonna ask if you still do that meal planning thing. Yeah, hold on a second.” He looks at Jihoon, “What do you prefer, chicken, pork or beef?”
Jihoon looks at him confusingly, “Huh?”
“Just answer, Jun is waiting on the line.” Soonyoung scolds him.
“Beef… I don’t know. I eat anything.”
Soonyoung smiles and he goes back to talking to someone over the phone, “Sorry about that, Jun, just do it alternately. Yes. Of course, I’ll pay. Just make sure Jihoon is filled with nutrients. I don’t want him consuming junk.” He laughs, “No, silly. Alright, bye.”
Jihoon asks, “What was that about?”
“Oh, you know Moon Junhui from the Nutrition and Dietetics department, right?” Jihoon nods, “Well, he’s the one in charge with my food. He plans for my meals everyday, and I pay him. He likes it because it has become his source of income so I told him to make for you, too. I don’t want you living your life with just instant food. Your body will give up.”
Something inside Jihoon boils. This is one thing he hates about Soonyoung, he goes out there, caring for others and he doesn’t realize that sometimes, he’s being taken for granted. Why does he have to be this kind or humble to anyone he doesn’t know that well?
Jihoon remembers one time when their class were struggling with our subjects, then Soonyoung teaches them. Then it has become a routine in their class, Jihoon wanted to shout at his classmates not to rely on Soonyoung because the guy sometimes looks exhausted when he enters the room but still won’t complain about teaching them.
There’s also this one time before their exams, Soonyoung was asked to choreograph for the other department’s dance fest. Soonyoung obviously looks tired but he smiles at them and agrees.
Another time was when it was raining and Jihoon can’t even step further from the bus stop, Soonyoung approached him and insisted that he can have his umbrella. Jihoon wants to give it back but Soonyoung refuses. Soonyoung put on his hoodie and ran through the rain. After that day, Soonyoung was absent because he caught a fever.
Now Jihoon remembers how he starts hating Soonyoung and everybody, it’s because of that.
Jihoon drags Soonyoung out of the market so they can talk without causing commotion inside. They walk straight to an empty parking lot at the side of the mall so they can talk.
“Why?” Jihoon asks.
“What do you mean why?” Soonyoung asks back.
“Why do you always try to be a hero to anyone else? Why do you have to take care of others when you barely take care of yours? Why do you have to compromise your own well-being at the expense of others’?” Jihoon asks him, making Soonyoung look at him with wide eyes.
Jihoon continues, “Stop taking care of others when you can’t take care of yourself. If you don’t notice, some people don’t deserve you or even your kindness.”
“Is that,” Soonyoung gulps, “Is that the reason why you hate me? Tell me, Jihoon, is that the reason you hate me to the core?”
“Soonyoung…” Jihoon calls him.
“No, Jihoon, you hate me, right? It’s specifically just me. Don’t lie anymore. I can feel it. I’m not dumb nor dense. I know you hate me so much, and that’s the reason, am I right?” Soonyoung pleads, “Please be honest with me.”
Jihoon sighs, “I told you, I hate everybo--”
“That’s bullshit!” Soonyoung exclaims, “You tell that every time I ask you. Why can’t you just tell me straight to my face that you specifically hate me instead of trying to cover it with that bullshit of yours!”
“Alright!” Jihoon shouts, “I hate everybody! I hate everybody so much! I hate the way you become a hero to everyone else that you forget yourself! I hate that it’s okay for you to get sick just to hand an umbrella to anyone! I hate that you look so cute yet so alluring at the same time! I hate that you are so talented that other people oversee those talents! I hate that I want to take care of you instead of you taking care of me!”
Jihoon breathes, “I hate everybody but you!”
Soonyoung is taken aback with Jihoon’s aggressive confession, “W-what?”
“Aren’t you listening to what I said? Did I really waste my time telling you?” Jihoon asks.
“No… W-what I mean… Jihoon… I don’t… understand.” Soonyoung can’t find the right words to say. He’s still stunned. Not because of the amount of words Jihoon has said, but because of the unexpected reason why Jihoon insists he hates everybody.
“Kwon Soonyoung,” Jihoon takes his hand and smiles at him, “I hate everybody but you. You’re the only person I can’t hate. You’re the only person who can make me smile. You’re the only person I’m willing to protect my entire life… if you’ll just let me.”
Soonyoung’s tears fall and nods, “Of course, Jihoonie , of course. I would want that.”
Jihoonie . Jihoon loves the sound of that.
For the first time in Soonyoung’s life, someone saw him differently, aside from Jun and Wonwoo who had been telling him all these. Now he understands why the couple always scolds him whenever he does someone else’s work.
Although his acts of kindness were genuine, Jihoon is right. He doesn’t have to agree to everybody’s requests when he can’t even do it for himself. He has every right to refuse, especially if it’s taking much of his time for himself. Most of the time, it’s okay to say no. We don’t have to agree with whatever they ask us to do especially if it affects us the most.
“Soonyoung?” Jihoon calls him, making Soonyoung look at him, “Do you hate me?”
Soonyoung shakes his head, “What? No. Of course not. Why would I hate you?”
Jihoon smiles, “Then would you hate me if I do this?”
“Do what?”
Jihoon pulls Soonyoung and their lips meet. It surprised Soonyoung, yet he likes it. It is almost as if there are fireworks on his chest and butterflies in his stomach.
Soonyoung pulls back, “You know what?”
“What?”
“I like you, Jihoonie. I like you more than you ever know.”
Jihoon smiles, “I like you, too, Soonyoung. I already told you I hate everybody except for you. How about we start dating, hmm?”
Soonyoung chuckles, “Wow, that’s bold. But cool. Let’s date.”
The couple intertwine their hands together and walk back to the mall just like that. At least, they’re honest with their feelings.
Soonyoung is bubbly. Jihoon hates that because it wasn’t for him.
Soonyoung is charismatic. Jihoon hates that because it wasn’t for him.
Soonyoung is astonishing. Jihoon hates that because it wasn’t for him.
Soonyoung is everything Jihoon isn’t. Jihoon hates that, or so he thinks. But the truth is, Soonyoung is Jihoon’s everything and he doesn’t hate Soonyoung for that.
- END -