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clay had walked to the train station to meet alex after his week away for business. It was late, but clay could still discern alex’s silhouette against the backdrop of the night.
“i missed you,” clay told alex, stretching out his hand for alex to take. alex smiled and took it gladly.
“i missed you more.” alex sighed, humming in the warmth of clay’s hand.
“can we kiss?” clay asked, laughing when alex became flustered. “it’s alright. you can say no.”
“i don’t want to say no.” alex huffed.
clay placed his hands on alex’s shoulders and leaned forward, stopping his lips mere millimeters from alex’s.
“clay,” alex whispered. his warm breath tickled the hairs on clay’s upper lip as he spoke.“you are not currently kissing me.”
“is that a problem?” clay laughed softly.
“yes. it is a large problem. we should resolve it immediately.” alex pouted.
before clay could react, alex had pushed his head forward so their faces connected in a playful display of affection.
clay pulled away, wrinkling his nose.
“we missed,” he said, as he ran his finger along alex’s jaw. “my lips didn’t get to yours.”
“then try again.”
clay smiled as he kissed alex, pressing their lips together as if to imprint his very essence on alex’s skin. their faces connected so perfectly that it seemed god had molded them for each other, for surely there was no other person who matched alex’s features so perfectly as clay, and vice versa.
clay deepened the kiss by widening his mouth; personal space was forgotten as they became conjoined, melting into alex until he swore he could taste his soul.
it was alex that pulled away, this time with a frown. “your breath smells odd.”
“what’s that supposed to mean? my breath smells?”
alex shook his head. “don’t worry about it.” he wrapped his fingers around clay’s and squeezed his hand tight. “let’s go home.”
“alex?” clay asked. he studied alex’s face with a puzzled expression. “did i do something wrong?”
“nothing. you’re perfect.”
they walked in silence for a few minutes before alex spoke. “clay?”
“yeah?”
“what did you eat today?”
“uh…” clay’s eyes rolled upwards as he thought. “you want the whole list? there was a lot.”
“any fish?” alex’s voice carried a sense of urgency that made clay stop.
“yeah,” he answered. “i wanted to try something new for lunch, so i had a tuna onigiri. why?”
“shit,” alex hissed. “fuck.”
“is that bad?”
“clay.” alex’s hand gripped clay’s like a vice. “i’m allergic. i’m severely allergic.”
“but you didn’t eat-”
“your lips. they tasted like tuna.”
clay bit his lip, the salty taste of his tuna still present on his skin. he then looked to alex’s lips, slightly swollen and turning a frightening tinge of blue.
“alex?”
“i think my airway is constricting.” alex coughed.
“what’s that mean?” clay asked but alex didn’t answer, but instead doubled over, wheezing heavily.
“oh shit, you’re dying.”
“fuck,” alex panted. no other words came out after that as alex slid to his knees, clutching at his throat, frustration and anguish clear in his teary eyes.
“alex?”
alex’s skin was pale and his breathing became erratic. a groan escaped his lips and his eyelids fluttered shut, causing clay to panic.
“alexis? god, please don’t die.”
alex didn’t reply.
clay pulled out his phone and called emergency services, telling the operator their location in a shaky voice.
“does he have an auto-injector?” the person on the other end asked. clay’s heart sunk.
“i don’t think so.”
they paused for a few excruciating moments of deliberation. “the ambulance is on its way.”
“you’re gonna be fine,” clay told alex, trying to hide the doubt in his voice even though he wasn’t sure alex could hear. inwardly, he cursed himself for not knowing about alex’s allergy sooner. then he could have prevented this. or better, if he hadn’t kissed him at all.
or maybe if they had never even met-
clay cast a glance to alex’s trembling body, the irregular rising and falling of his chest, and the raspy breath struggling against his lips.
“you’re gonna be fine,” he repeated, this time to himself. his fingers reached for alex’s wrist and searched for a pulse, anything tangible to hold onto. he found one.
dun dun.
“you’re gonna be fine.”
dun dun.
“you’re gonna be-”
dun.. dun..
“alex?”
dun… dun…