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Huang Shaotian knew the life of a pro player was short. Even outside of injuries shortening the time they could play for, it was typical for a player to find that their years in the alliance were coming to an end. You could nearly always see it coming, could see the joy that Glory brought different players waning, the weight of their job heavy on their shoulders.
It wasn’t something he was worried about for himself or his team, they were still going strong, still ready to step onto the stage and fight. Eight years after their debut and Huang Shaotian and Yu Wenzhou were still going strong and Huang Shaotian loved Glory just as much as he’d always done. He wanted to stay in Glory for as long as he could, especially with Yu Wenzhou by his side.
Yu Wenzhou was tired. They were halfway through season twelve, halfway through his ninth season and it seemed like Blue Rain was going to clinch another championship, six years after their first. Huang Shaotian was buzzing with excitement, the easy joy that Glory brought him written across his face as he chattered about each match they played.
It was Huang Shaotian’s excitement, his anticipation that had the puzzle pieces clicking together in the end. The pieces that came together and had Yu Wenzhou realising that Glory didn’t bring him joy anymore. That the thrill of the competition had left him and he didn’t know when it had changed.
Maybe when Zhang Xinjie had retired, following Han Wenqing off Glory’s stage, even if they both had more time, could have played for longer. Yu Wenzhou understood, understood why Zhang Xinjie had left when he had, left before the game became a chore, before the pleasure of Glory vanished.
But Huang Shaotian was so excited, still so passionate about Glory, about continuing to fight and Yu Wenzhou didn’t know how to tell him. Didn’t want to extinguish his light. So, he spoke to management, keeping it quiet, wanting his last season with Huang Shaotian to remain unmarred by his upcoming retirement. He wasn’t leaving his team in the lurch, there was a warlock player that they’d been carefully cultivating, and she was ready to take over Swoksaar.
It was time, Yu Wenzhou just wanted to give Blue Rain one more championship before he left. Just one more championship.
And he did.
The lights were flashing around him and his team, the championship trophy being pressed into their hands. Blue Rain were yelling, joy in the noise, their voices blending with the crowd’s until it was impossible to tell where one began the other ended. Huang Shaotian was jumping up and down beside him, delight radiating off him, clutching at anyone within reach and cheering.
Yet Yu Wenzhou felt nothing. None of the excitement or pride he’d felt when he’d won his first championship, more than anything, that solidified his decision. It was time for him to leave.
Huang Shaotian was riding a high of elation, feeling his thrill at Blue Rain’s victory still bubbling in his blood, until he was giddy with pleasure, unsure of what to do with the energy coursing through his veins. Except, perhaps, his hand grazed the box he’d been carrying around for months, waiting for the right moment and he thought that this might be the right moment. The right time to ask Yu Wenzhou to marry him-
His head jolted up when he spotted Yu Wenzhou and he jogged over, pressing a kiss to Yu Wenzhou’s cheek with a bright smile. When his captain didn’t react Huang Shaotian frowned, sensing that something was off and tilted his head to the side.
“Aren’t you happy captain? We won the championship! Another title for Blue Rain!” Yu Wenzhou’s lips twitched up into a smile but there was something missing, something missing from his expression.
“Another championship,” Yu Wenzhou’s voice was soft and he began to lead Huang Shaotian to his room, out of the corridor and the feelings of trepidation only worsened when Yu Wenzhou took a breath, the kind of breath he took when there was something weighing on him, when he was trying to keep himself calm.
“Captain you look so serious, so very serious, it’s like something terrible has happened, but I know it hasn’t, it can’t have because you would have told me if something terrible happened, I would already know because you tell me everything, and this wouldn’t be any different-“
“Shaotian.” Yu Wenzhou never had to raise his voice to get Huang Shaotian to fall silent but for the first time he wanted to keep talking, wanted to stop Yu Wenzhou from saying what he was about to say. “Shaotian I’m retiring.”
The words punched the breath out of Huang Shaotian’s lungs, had him taking a step back, even as Yu Wenzhou reached out and he started to shake his head, as if he could make his partner take the words back if he denied their reality for long enough.
“But you don’t have to, I practice with you, I see you practice all the time, there’s no way you’re getting slower, your playing is just as good as it’s ever been, there’s no need for you to retire- you can stay- you can stay with here at Blue Rain with me- we can-“ Huang Shaotian found his words growing more desperate as Yu Wenzhou’s gaze flicked to the ground.
“But I want to retire.” And Huang Shaotian found that he didn’t have anything to say in response to that and he shook his head again, the space between them suddenly feeling like a chasm.
“Get out.” Yu Wenzhou looked as if he was going to try and speak again but Huang Shaotian didn’t give him the chance, “get out! You didn’t tell me! You didn’t want me to know and hid it from me! You’re leaving so we’re done! Go!” Yu Wenzhou bowed his head in defeat as he left and Huang Shaotian’s hand curled around the ring in his pocket, the metal digging painfully in his pocket. He didn’t want it- wanted to throw it away but as he moved to throw it away, he found he couldn’t bring himself to let go. But he didn’t know what to do with it.
It was Yu Wenzhou’s after all.
Even if Yu Wenzhou was never going to wear it.
And that was the last straw, the ring was thrown at the wall and Huang Shaotian curled up on his bed and he sobbed, clutching at his pillow, refusing to admit to himself that he wished it was Yu Wenzhou in his arms.
He kept the ring in his pocket as he watched the team throw Yu Wenzhou a retirement party, the atmosphere a jarring mix of celebration and regret. They’d won the championship, but they were losing their captain and the team couldn’t help but cry over that.
Huang Shaotian kept his distance, unable to face his old partner, unable to look him in the eyes without the sharp pain lancing through his chest. He could feel Yu Wenzhou’s eyes on him, knew that he was waiting for their eyes to meet, knew that Yu Wenzhou wanted to speak to him, wanted to explain.
And part of Huang Shaotian wanted to let him, wanted to be able to forgive him and lean into his warmth once more. But he squashed it down and watched Yu Wenzhou walk out of Blue Rain.
He didn’t look back.
Huang Shaotian knew he should start to think about retiring. Lu Hanwen had grown into himself, was leading the team without any need for him. Their new warlock was slowly growing into her role as their tactician, he often found the two chattering away to one another, pages of scrawled notes between them, reminding him of when he used to sit up late with- when he used to spend time refining Blue Rain’s tactics. When there’d been someone there to smile softly at him, someone he could lean against, soaking in his warmth-
Huang Shaotian shook himself out of his thoughts, out of revisiting old wounds. The point was, Blue Rain was in good hands, excellent hands, and he was tired. He was tired and he was ready to retire but the phantom weight of the ring in his pocket had him clinging on.
After all, what was the point of retirement if there was no one there waiting for him?