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Jack had managed to work himself into a panic over this. Of course, he guesses it's warranted— coming out to your wife sounds like hard work. And googling about bisexual husbands had only given him horrid answers, as he should've expected, considering the state of the Internet. It's just an entire thing of how wives might feel betrayed if they learn their husbands are bisexual, and even long lists of tips of signs. It's ridiculous.
Of course, he knows it's not that risky. He knows Bella is an accepting, gorgeous woman who wouldn't mind at all that he fancies men from time to time. But the irrational part of his brain makes him worried that she'll dislike the fact that he's bi, that she'll start acting like he's prone to cheat on her. When he isn't— he's been nothing but committed to her throughout their entire relationship. He wouldn't dream of ever loving another person.
(It wasn't until recently that he came to terms with his sexuality. He kind of thought that everyone thought some men were nice to look at, that everyone felt awkward and uncomfortable in locker rooms. It wasn't until Will talked to him about being bisexual and he mentioned how he found some guys back in high school really hot that Will had stared at him and gone dude. It was a bit embarrassing, to not be aware of something as simple as his own sexuality, but he was glad that he knew now.)
"Bella," he says, watching her as she cooks. It's nothing very good— Bella's not good at cooking, but neither is he. They live off TV diners when they acknowledge that neither of them can cook. But Bella's stubborn, of course, so she's cooking something for the two of them. "Could we - could we talk? I have something I need to tell you."
She turns to him, French fries in the oil. "Of course, darling," she says. "Do you want to wait until dinner or you'd rather talk now?"
He stares at her, sucks in a breath. He knows the logical choice would be to tell her that he wants to talk now, that dinner will be soured if everything goes wrong, but. Maybe it's better to be seated. "Let's wait until dinner."
Bella nods, doesn't question him. There's no confusion or worry in her eyes, no suspicion. His stomach furls in itself uncomfortably and he sucks in air, unsure what to do as he waits for dinner to roll in. He goes to the living room and he stares out the window, fiddling with his hands.
It seems like forever, but eventually dinner's ready and served. Steak, fries and a fried egg. Nothing special, nothing extravagant. It's not good, but it's also not bad. Jack settles down in front of Bella in their little dining table for four and stares at his plate.
"Jack," she says gently, like she's telling a kid to speak up. "What did you want to tell me?"
"Look," he says. "This does not... change anything. I'm not... going to cheat on you or anything. That doesn't have anything to do with what I want to tell you. You are precious, you are my sun and I love you so much, Bella, you have no idea. This doesn't change that."
He stares at the salt shaker. He notices Bella's confusion, though, even without looking at her. That's a perk of marriage. They know each other far too well, like mirrors, having blended in with each other, one soul. "Jack, what are you talking about?"
He swallows. "I'm getting to it, baby, I'm getting to it— I just need you to know that I love you and that this doesn't change anything, okay? I just need you to know that."
"Darling," she says, a tad more sternly. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm bisexual," he says.
Bella blinks at him. "Oh." There's a pause. "Is that what that whole thing was about?"
He looks up at her, and she's smiling. Okay, that's a better reaction than the one he was scared about, but confusion soon overflows him. "I mean— yes? You're, you're straight, and I read so many earnest articles about how to find out if your husband is bisexual and how it may feel like a betrayal and I couldn't just throw it at you, babe."
"I'm straight?" she echoes.
"What about it? You..." He blinks, tries to recall an instance of Bella telling him she's not straight, any passing mentions of liking girls or anything of the sort. "You are straight, right?"
She laughs. "God, I thought you knew. The woman I was with all the time when we met in Italy, I was dating her at the time. It was quiet and we broke up a while after I met you 'cuz it wasn't working out way before that but— I thought you knew."
Jack recalls then the woman she's talking about. Another NATO staff woman, a beautiful lady with long locks of hair— she was of Asian descent, if he recalls correctly. She was fun to talk to.
"Oh," he says softly. "I had... no idea. I just thought you were really close friends."
Bella lets out a little laugh and pulls him in for a kiss. "Well, we're both bisexual. I'm glad to learn that about you. I have a preference for men and of course it's still kind of weird to talk about other people you like the looks of while you're in a relationship, so... It just never came up."
"It never did, apparently." He lets out a little laugh. "Well, if you don't mind we can talk about men and women we find hot." He starts cutting up the steak. "I didn't... know until very recently, by the way. I thought it was just... normal to be into some guys from time to time. It wasn't until Will brought it up and said hey, Jack, that sounds pretty bisexual to me that it fell into place."
Bella laughs softly. "Oh, Will is the one that did it? D'you fancy your employee or something?"
"No!" he exclaims, heat rising to his cheeks. "He— he talked me through my sexuality, he's not... I mean, he is cute, but he's just not my type. He's a little too young and a little too.... you know..."
"Mentally unstable?" Bella jokes."
He groans. "Yeah, that's exactly it. It just felt rude to say."
"Well, it's not like he's here, darling." She leans in to kiss him. "Let's eat now, yeah? I'm glad you trusted me with telling me this, even if you probably shouldn't have been so worked up about it."
He huffs. "I worry a lot, Bella. Let me worry some more."
She rolls her eyes. "Absolutely not. There's only so many things you can worry about. Let yourself relax, babe. Let yourself relax."
"Okay," he says. "We can relax and talk about hot people, something, after we're done with dinner."
"That sounds wonderful to me."
Jack is glad he told Bella he's bi, even if it didn't go like he expected— in fact, it went a lot better.