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“Are you kidding me, Maya? No warning or anything? You’re so- ugh,” Carina ended with a mix of a scoff and a whine.
“She needed a place to stay!” Maya argued and she saw the flame rise in the Italian’s eyes.
“So what? You’re just letting anyone move in now?”
“No- no, of course not! Why are you being so dramatic? It’s not that big of a deal!” Maya said, her voice raising in pitch and volume.
“Okay, so, I’m too dramatic? Am I too dramatic that you just had to get someone new to move in with you?” Carina threw her arms and whisper-yelled. The whole conversation was whisper-yelling due to the fact that Andy, too, was in the apartment.
“No, of course not! Is it so bad that I invited someone who was nearly homeless to live in my apartment during a pandemic?” Maya tried to defend herself but it just seemed to fuel the fire in Carina’s eyes even more. The quivering of Carina’s lower lip was obvious, but somehow Maya seemed to miss it.
“You mean our apartment, right?” Carina asked shakily.
When Maya bit her lip instead of answering Carina scoffed, losing her ability to stay cool she started, “Maya, you are-“ Carina opened her mouth to say something but the shakiness of her lower jaw stopped her until she felt the tears starting to form in her eyes. She made the start of a vowel sound before shaking her head and yelling, “you- you culo!” And stormed out of the room.
“I- wanna translate whichever insult you just called me? So that I can know whatever you think of me now?” Maya yelled as she followed after the doctor.
“She called you an ass, thank god for Spanish and Italian being similar,” Andy chimed in from the living room where she was eating some cereal. Maya clenched her jaw and went to stand across the island in front of Carina.
“I’m sor- what are you doing?” Maya asked as she noticed Carina refilling the boxes that had been nearly empty just moments before.
“Well it’s your apartment, so I wouldn’t want to burden you with my things around it,” Carina muttered, and went to put some more things in the box. Maya reached a hand out to stop her but accidentally ended up hitting the box and causing it to fall off the counter creating a loud BANG to echo through the apartment. Maya looked up to apologize only to see the horror in Carina’s eyes before the doctor nearly ran away.
“Car, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to knock over the-“ Maya was cut off by the loud slam of the door. She tried the handle only to find it locked.
“Carina, c’mon, you don’t burden me I didn’t mean it!” Maya tried as she laid her head on the door only to hear the soft sniffles of the other woman.
“Dammit!” Maya cursed herself, suddenly needing to punch sometime, before storming out of the apartment, muttering a barely audible, “I’m going for a run.”
After a few minutes, Carina came out of the room, her eyes red and puffy, as she went to clean up the box of fallen kitchen items.
“Everything okay?” Andy asked as she put her dish in the sink and came over to help.
“Fine.” Carina replied shortly.
“I didn’t mean to upset you by moving in,” Andy tried and Carina rolled her eyes and laughed causing Andy to fall into a state of confusion.
“What-“
“No, no, I’m sorry, it’s not you why I am upset. It’s just-“ Carina paused for a moment to wipe her eyes which tears were starting to fall out of again.
“Maya’s a lot, she’s never done this in a relationship. She’s trying, though,” Andy explained and that just increased Carina’s hysterics.
“I already sold my apartment, now Maya regrets living with me and we’re fighting already and- it’s not really to do with you,” Carina reassured while wiping her eyes again.
“Woah, wait, what makes you think she regrets you guys moving in together?”
“I’m not blind,” Carina paused with a sad smile, “Or stupid. She sees my stuff and she smiles and then she takes it in for a moment and then she looks- uhm- preoccupata?”
“She’s not worried about your stuff being there, she’s worried she’s gonna hurt you and mess up,” Andy explained quietly and Carina scoffed.
“You don’t believe me?” Andy asked slowly, confusion still obviously in her tone.
“Is she on a run right now?” Carina deflected.
“Yeah- what does that have to do with-“
“We had an argument and she’s running. I love her and I don’t want to doubt her, but- I can’t just trust her.”
“I think she’s trying to give you space, you seemed pretty upset when the box was knocked over.”
“Yeah, well, childhood trauma will do that for you,” Carina muttered and considered unpacking the box again, deciding she may have overreacted, but one glance at the front door and she left it where it was. Maya opening that door had ruined her life before, she didn’t want it to happen again. She was ready to leave. She hated it, but Maya was “on a run” so she would be ready.
“Knocking boxes over?” Andy asked obliviously and Carina made a face before letting out a light laugh.
“Sure, we’ll go with that. I’m sure that’s what Maya thinks it was. All about her trauma,” Carina said a little colder than she meant.
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve- nothing, it’s hard sometimes. Look I have to get ready for work, thanks for helping me clean up,” Carina smiled at her girlfriend’s best friend (and apparent new roommate) before getting up and walking into hers and Maya’s room. Carina left before Maya got back, the blonde sent a quick text but didn’t get a response.
Around 1pm, Carina got a call from Maya, she considered not answering, but she sighed and did it and answered anyway.
“Carina, hey,” A panicked voice came from the other side of the phone. A panicked voice that wasn’t Maya’s.
“What the Hell happened? Andy, where is Maya? Is she okay?” Carina asked, her heart skipping a beat as she thought through all the possibilities.
“Yeah, yeah, sorry, we just uh, we need an OB… we are…” Andy trailed off and Carina heard yelling, “there is a problem with a pregnant woman and we need help.”
Carina sighed, “Walk me through it.”
An hour later and the patient finally stable in the Aid car, Andy handed the phone to Maya.
“I’m waiting for her in the ambulance bay,” Carina informed.
“Carina, I know the box probably brought back memories from your dad and I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-“
“It’s fine, Maya.”
“I lo-“
“I gotta go, I’ll see you in the hospital,” Carina cut Maya off. She knew what Maya was gonna say, and right now she just didn’t want to hear it. Ever since they’d gotten back together it had been Carina’s favorite thing to hear, but she was mad and it didn’t feel right.
Andy watched Maya’s frustrated sigh and decided to inquire, “Everything okay?”
“Peachy,” Maya mumbled sarcastically.
“Bishop, I heard your fight this morning, plus you don’t look okay.”
“She hung up when I tried to say ‘I love you.’ Sure I should’ve asked her before inviting you to move in but this is so over the top dramatic!” Maya vented and Andy nodded.
“She’s frustrated too, you know? I mean this morning she said-“ Andy stopped herself from continuing which peaked Maya’s interest.
“What did she say?”
“Nothing!”
“Herrera, what did she say?” Maya nearly ordered.
“She said she loves you and she doesn’t want to doubt you but she can’t trust you,” Andy informed the fire captain.
“She- I- she could’ve just told me!”
“Yeah well there’s another thing she mentioned, she said that it’s all about your trauma. When I tried to ask she brushed it off,” Andy shrugged and Maya bit her tongue. She didn’t know what she wanted to say. So much, but also nothing at all. They pulled into the hospital where she found Carina waiting for them.
Andy started giving her info about the patient while Maya walked up to Carina, placed a hand on her waist and whispered, “I need to talk to you,” in the doctor’s ear.
“What?” Carina asked her, confused.
“Seriously? I get you’re mad at me, but saying that you aren’t hearing me is bull, Carina!”
“I’m not-”
“I let Andy move in, and I should’ve asked you, but you’re being over dramatic! And you’re talking to Andy about it instead of me! It’s- we have to talk! You’re being immature!” Maya nearly shouted. She felt exactly eyes on her and a part of her realized that nurses and doctors alike were staring at her.
“Faccia a culo (assface),” Carina started before addressing the patient and starting to walk away. She whispered something to Bailey on the way and the older doctor sighed before nodding, “Captain Bishop, Bailey will escort you to my office where you will remain until I am done with this patient and then we’ll talk,” Carina told Maya. She used a very formal voice Maya wasn’t sure she had heard before.
Maya gulped and was taken into the office silently. She sat there for what felt like hours before Carina came in and slammed the door before yelling at Maya in Italian.
“I don’t understand what you’re-”
“You are an ass, Maya! I didn’t hear you, so I asked what! Then you- you embarrassed me in front of my whole work because you felt ignored. Why are you acting like you did nothing wrong? You let someone move into our- sorry- your place without consulting me which would’ve been fine if we didn’t live together! Yeah, I talked to Andy about it instead of you, which apparently only you are allowed to do since when I did it it was immature! You are a hypocrite and an ass and I- I’ve noticed you regret me moving in I was just waiting for you to admit it,” Carina took a long shaky breath and Maya’s defense fell and confusion mixed with anxiety laced the captain’s eyes “I have seen the looks, Maya. I know you regret it. Tonight after work I will pack everything up and find a new place to stay.”
“W-what? Where?” The blonde asked, a single tear falling from her eye. She had lashed out and fucked things up so much.
“Here, maybe, I don’t know! But with the repeated looks of regret and then- then the whole Andy thing I can’t-“ Carina stopped herself and gestured her frustration with her hands.
“Baby, cmon, I’m sorry, I’m acting like my dad, I know but this is all new to me-“
“It’s new to me too, Maya! You are my longest relationship, ever, my first time moving in with someone! You can’t just blame your dad on everything! Sometimes it’s your fault! My dad was a shitty dad, too! I have a lot of faults caused by him! Yet I am not blaming him for every mistake I make! The box earlier was an accident, I get that, I’m not blaming you, but berating me for not hearing you- for confiding in my new roommate- the not telling me about Andy! You don’t- I don’t get it!” Carina yelled before taking a deep breath and quieting down, “Was the asking me to move in just a power play? Do you even care that I did it?”
“Carina, of course I do- I- I’m sorry- I’m sorry I didn’t mean to… to just- I mean I’m still adjusting to the whole idea of being abused blaming everything on him is easier I guess,” Maya told Carina, her voice seemingly small.
“That’s another thing you’re not- you keep acting- “ Carina huffed and then stopped speaking.
“What? Carina I want to prove to you that I’m all the way in and I know I’m bad at this but I’m trying, I don’t know how to do it, but I’m trying.”
“No, you’re not!”
“What? Of course I am!”
“You’re trying so desperately for things to go back to how they were, but they can’t! They never will! Y-“ Carina’s voice broke, “you slept with Jack. I’m trying to get over it because I love you and I want to be with you but you going on runs when we fight- that doesn’t work anymore.”
“So, what? You’re insecure?” Maya asked. She hadn’t meant it in a negative way, she just wanted to know. Carina, however, didn’t take it that way.
“Am I not allowed to be insecure? You cheated on me no less than a month ago! I’m trying to forgive but this- this whole inviting me to move in directly before inviting Andy? It doesn’t work with me!”
“Why are you trying to fight? Carina I didn’t want to- at first I came to argue because it’s what I know but I’m not trying to anymore. Can you just take a breath? I don’t want you to move out. But I’m not gonna kick Andy out, she was homeless,” Maya explained and Carina wiped her eyes.
“I don’t want you to kick her out! I want you to- I want you to not invite people to move in without even telling me! If you had asked, I would’ve said yes.” Carina defended herself and Maya sighed sadly before patting the spot on the couch next to her. Carina took a hesitant breath before sitting down and cuddling into Maya’s side.
“It’s 2 months with Andy. Then she’ll move out, okay?” Maya said and she felt Carina nod against her shoulder.
“Nothing like this will ever happen again, I promise,” Maya promised and she felt another nod.
“I’m putting the work in Car, I’m going to virtual therapy twice a week. I always schedule it for when you’re working because I don’t- I feel ashamed I’m in it. Because of my dad. But I promise you I’m doing it, okay?”
“You are?”
“Yeah, how about I move my next one and you come meet her? Then I can prove to you I’m doing it and we can get some of the help we most definitely need,” Maya laughed sadly and Carina looked Maya in the eyes before moving her hair behind her ears and nodding. The clear blue eyes digging into hers.
“Okay, sure I- yeah... I love you, I’m sorry this is- I’m sorry,” Carina answered.
“No.”
“No?”
“I love you too, but you are not allowed to be sorry. This- all of this, it’s my fault. I keep messing up.”
“I am gonna argue that with you at home. However you’re not even supposed to be in here and Bailey only let you in here because of the fact you were being such an ass,” Carina bit her lip as she explained.
“Well, that’s fair. I’m glad she did.”
“Me too,” Carina smiled, “Can I walk you out?”
“Of course.”
The last thing Maya heard from Carina for the next few hours was “Bye, Bella. I’ll see you at home.”