Work Text:
Humility [noun] \ hyü-ˈmi-lə-tē \
- modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc.
Jacob is the second oldest in the K-pop boy group The Boyz. That is how he is most famously known. He is one of the main vocalists and he is nicknamed the sweet voice of the group. Although, in the eyes of the members, Jacob is more than a member. He is an older brother to them, someone they can rely on. He is a safe place. The group’s fans, TheBs, agree to that sentiment. Jacob is an angel. He is one of the kindest souls one can encounter out there. He is talented. He is the fans’ source of comfort, especially with how he softly talks to them during his Vlives.
But who is Jacob for himself? How does Jacob view himself?
He always thought he was normal. Just a normal guy who wanted to make it big in the Korean pop scene. He went with the flow most of the time. He never imagined himself to be known by thousands of people, yet he was, along with his group. It felt surreal, if anyone asked him, to be a member of The Boyz, and he loved every second of it. Even though things can get tiring and life can get difficult, one reassuring smile from his members’ faces was enough to lift him up again.
And on that day, he was with two members, Eric and Kevin, to go to a podcast recording. Jacob felt giddy. Of course, he was. He was going to work with Eric Nam, a legend in his own right. Eric Nam debuted back in 2013, four years before The Boyz did. Jacob found himself singing to his songs sometimes. He could not imagine being invited to Eric Nam’s own show.
It felt like a dream.
“Hyung, I just noticed this but,” Eric, the maknae of The Boyz, said as he turned to the oldest member in the car,” You’ve improved a lot.”
“Hm? What do you mean?” Jacob had this confused expression on his face,” I think I’m not that good yet.”
“Eric’s right, Jacob,” Kevin said. By the way, the whole conversation was in English, a result of the promise MoonBae did with Eric’s mom.
“Improve how?” Jacob asked.
“You’re in the performance unit now,” Kevin explained with an excited expression on his face,” You’re considered as one of the dancers. That can only be a dream for me.”
“Don’t say that, Kevin,” Jacob frowned, pinching Kevin’s nose,” I can see your efforts. You don’t know. Maybe you’ll replace Eric.”
“Hyung!” Eric whined,” Don’t say that.”
“Knock on wood?” Jacob laughed. It felt nice to talk to these two. He felt like his nervousness about the podcast interview was slowly disappearing. He knew it was their way to calm their nerves too. They were all excited and nervous about this opportunity. Even the normally extraverted member Eric was more jumpy than usual.
When they arrived at the venue, Eric Nam was resting in the set, scrolling through his phone. Eric was elbowing the older members and they found themselves exchanging glances before Diane, one of the key members of DIVE Studios, called Eric Nam’s attention.
“Eric! They’re here! Stop playing with your phone,” Diane said as she flashed a gentle smile at the idols,” Hello! I’m Diane, the producer. I’ll brief you three about what will happen later but I’m sure your manager already explained a bit. Just give me a few minutes.”
“Sure, take your time, Diane,” Jacob knew he should be the one speaking up since he was the oldest,” We’ll just stay here.”
“You can sit there if you want,” Diane gestured at the couch behind the scenes, near the snacks corner,” You’re guests after all.”
“Thanks, Diane,” Kevin bowed, and the others followed. Eric quickly raced to the snacks table and had his eyes roam around the selection.
Jacob felt fidgety and he did not normally get nervous. He kept glancing at Eric Nam who was being briefed by Diane about how the interview would play out. Sure, he and Kevin were regular emcees at Simply K-pop but it was a different case altogether when they were the interviewees. They were going to get interviewed in English and he knew the questions would be different from what they were used to from Korean magazines and shows.
“So yeah,” Diane said as she approached the trio,” We’d do it like this. You’ll get interviewed one-on-one by Eric then we’ll have a group interview after that.”
Diane continued to explain the set-up and pointed at where the cameras were. She was very detailed about it that Jacob did not have any trouble imagining how it would play out. Diane handed them a paper and told them to fill it in. The form included basic information about them and what they wanted to ask each other.
“I’ll give you guys 30 minutes to answer that. Is that okay?” Diane asked with a thumbs-up.
“Yeah, that'll be quick,” Eric smiled at her. When Diane left, the three of them immediately started filling up the form, careful not to let another member see what each was writing. It felt like a major exam. Jacob finished first and found himself looking around the place. He wanted to talk to Eric Nam, just small talk, but Diane told them that they weren’t supposed to talk to Eric Nam before the interview, just to give it a sense of spontaneity. Eric Nam should not have a sense of what kind of person they were before the interview but that was the charm of it.
Later on, Eric’s and Kevin’s interviews started separately. Jacob watched them closely. He found himself laughing as he watched them. He hoped that his interview would be as fun as theirs. Eric and Kevin were both more hyper than Jacob. He was fine with that, to be honest because he anchored the mood. He had this natural calmness to him that everyone loved, but he was not sure if that suited the podcast environment.
It was his turn. Kevin wished him good luck and told him to be himself.
“He’s so good at making me comfortable,” Kevin added.
“I noticed,” Jacob hummed,” I just hope my part won’t be boring.”
“Hyung, you are not a boring person,” Eric pouted,” You are interesting. You’re good at everything.”
“No, I’m not,” Jacob shook his head,” I still lack a lot of things.”
“There you go again,” Kevin frowned,” I love that you’re humble and all but Jacob—”
“Alright, Kevin, I know what you’re going to say,” Jacob held Kevin’s shoulder,” But it isn’t good to be too… You know.”
“Suit yourself,” Kevin shrugged,” Just saying that you don’t lack anything.”
“If I admit that, it means there’s no room for improvement,” Jacob said before he left Kevin to go to the interview area. Kevin crossed his arms.
“Admitting he doesn’t lack anything does not mean he’s perfect,” Kevin said.
“You know how hyung is,” Eric sighed,” A bit too humble for our taste.”
Jacob was nervous with Eric Nam just a foot or so from him. He was just across him. Diane counted down for the start of the interview and when she reached one, Jacob’s heart stopped for a second. The jingle finished and he soon introduced himself. The interview was honestly fun. Jacob enjoyed talking to Eric Nam. They talked about his start in South Korea and his trainee life. Jacob reminisced about the times when Haknyeon taught him the basics of dance. He remembered how he learned Korean.
“You have a tendency to be negative to yourself?” Eric Nam asked his last question before they moved on to the more lighthearted part of the interview.
“It’s more of… I had low self-confidence as a kid? So when people compliment me, I don’t think it’s good enough,” Jacob explained,” It’s not really negativity, I guess?”
“You’re humble!” Eric Nam said,” That’s called humility. Let’s not call it negativity. Let’s call it humility.”
“When we go on stage… There are times when I’m not confident but there are people who compliment me, telling me that I’m doing good,” Jacob shared,” so they help a lot.”
“I think that’s good. Talking as a sunbae, it’s normal to be like that…. You know so we can improve,” Eric Nam had this reassuring smile,” I have days like that.”
Eric Nam continued to share his experiences and Jacob felt warm inside as he did. He felt validated. As an artist, Jacob knew what he was capable of and he knew he had not reached his full potential. Sometimes, the feelings he had bordered on negativity, which Kevin hated from him, but most of the time, it motivated Jacob to improve more and more. Maybe that was why he improved as quickly as he did, to the point Changmin pointed it out.
Next were the fan questions that Jacob smoothly answered. He was enjoying every minute of the interview. In his honest opinion, it did not feel like an interview. It felt like a conversation. After around an hour, the interview finished and Jacob could not believe it. Eric Nam knew him at that point, and he knew there was a chance that Eric Nam would ask for his number.
Okay, Jacob thought, maybe not yet. That’s too quick.
“Okay,” Diane clapped,” Good job so far, The Boyz! Let’s move to the bigger area now.”
Kevin and Eric approached Jacob as soon as they could.
“You did a good job, hyung!” Eric said, grinning at the older member,” It didn’t feel awkward at all.”
“I told you that I’m not too hard on myself, Kev,” Jacob nudged Kevin,” Humility.”
“Reminds me of our Right Here days,” Eric hummed,” Oh god, it’s been a long time.”
“How long?” Kevin asked.
“Two years?” Jacob tilted his head,” I think two years.”
“A lot changed in two years,” Eric smiled widely,” We’re about to get to our third year in December, right?”
“Mhm,” Jacob nodded,” Time flies by fast, huh.”
“The Boyz?”
The trio heard Diane calling for them. They laughed at each other before going to wherever Diane was telling them to go. Jacob was glad to spend these past years with them. Around 5 years in South Korea, he could say they were the best five years of his life so far.
“So the three of you? How close are you all?” Eric Nam asked while the set was being arranged for the three guests,” Like compared to the other members?”
“Kevin and I… We’re really close. We click very well but Eric, I think he’s closer to Juyeon, another member of ours, than to us,” Jacob answered.
“Yeah, that’s true,” Eric nodded,” Juyeon-hyung and I are very close… We have like—”
“They have this telepathy? That I never understood?” Kevin cut Eric off.
“Right!” Jacob agreed,” Sometimes they just bump each other and laugh?”
“You sound like… like boys, I guess?” Eric Nam said as he laughed,” It’s hard to come by a person like that. I’m glad you three have a close friend like that… I guess like a soulmate?”
“Yeah, soulmates don’t have to be romantic,” Kevin nodded,” I don’t know why soulmates are narrowed down to romance.”
“True!” Jacob said,” Kevin’s definitely my soulmate.”
“Aw,” all of the others smiled at Jacob with this soft smile on their lips.
“What?” Jacob said,” It’s true.”
“Same here, my other half,” Kevin swooned.
“Get a room,” Eric complained. Eric Nam found himself laughing at the dynamics of the three. It was nice to observe them. Eric Nam had been a solo artist for a long time. This was one of the things he envied from groups.
After the podcast recording, Eric Nam asked for the numbers of the three. Jacob felt special, even though he did ask all of their numbers. As soon as the three members entered the car, Kevin found himself gushing over the opportunity. Eric was gushing with him while Jacob was watching the two of them.
“I hope we have the opportunity to go back here,” Jacob said,” with the other members.”
“They have to improve at English first,” Eric joked,” especially Sunwoo.”
“You don’t have to attack Sunwoo like that,” Kevin laughed,” He can understand English… Haknyeon too.”
“But like,” Jacob said,” I’ve heard that English isn’t a requirement to guest at K-Pop Daebak but the space looks too small for 11 members.”
“Then we can have the first episode for K-pop Daebak shot outside!” Eric said,” The Boyz and K-pop Daebak!”
The three of them continued talking to each other about what just happened and what could happen for their group. After Road to Kingdom, it was like they entered a new realm. Jacob felt like things were changing so quickly and maybe he could not improve as quickly as they got famous. Although they weren’t that well-known yet, The Boyz was gaining attention.
Would the Jacob in the future be able to handle more expectations?
He was not sure. He only knew he would try his best to do so. He was aiming to be part of the performance unit after all. With a rising group and members who also tried their best to improve, Jacob pressured himself to rise to the occasion. Even though his fans told him he was doing well, he wanted to do better. It was his way of thanking the people who supported him.
What better way to thanks them than to make them proud for liking him after all?