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A cold breeze brushed against Jacqui’s skin as she made her way to the Red Eagle’s Bar. Takeda’s arm brushed against hers as he walked beside her, his hands in the pockets of his jacket. She found herself gazing at the serene smile on his face as he went on about…something. In all honesty she wasn’t paying attention to the words but rather enjoyed the relaxed cadence of his voice and the fact that every word wasn’t life or death. It had been so long since she’d gotten time to just be a civilian, where she didn’t have to worry about missions or orders or anyone attacking her. Hell, it had been forever since she’d just gotten to be in Earthrealm. She’d grown so accustom to the dry sandy Outworld air that Earthrealm’s almost seemed to damp in comparison.
Takeda stepped in front of her holding the door open so she could step inside. They were greeted by the scent of cigarette smoke and alcohol, some old hip-hop on the radio. “You look nice by the way,” he said as she slid her Special Forces jacket off her bare shoulders and exposed a beautiful black dress that flowed right above her knees. It hugged her frame perfectly highlighting the curves of her hips and outlined the shape of her breasts. She didn’t wear dresses often but felt this was as good a time as any. “Only nice?” she said teasing him.
Takeda chuckled. “Beautiful. Gorgeous. Stunning. Those work?”
Jacqui smiled. “One would’ve sufficed but I’ll accept all three.”
Takeda pointed to an air hockey table in the corner of the room. It was why they’d come to this particular bar. While Jacqui was away she and Takeda had talked often about playing air hockey together. Back then it almost felt like an impossible fantasy that would never happen. But now with it so close Jacqui wanted nothing more.
“Loser buys the first round of drinks?” Takeda asked beaming at her.
Jacqui was about to answer when her eyes landed on someone sitting at the bar behind him. She saw the blond hair before she noticed the glare that came out the corner of the woman’s eyes. A trio of empty shot glasses rested on the bar in front of her, another in her hand, deep amber liquid flowing between her lips. Takeda followed her eyes then sighed, dejected.
“We can go somewhere else.”
Jacqui couldn’t tear her eyes away. Cassandra Cage. Her Commander, once her best friend, once something…more. She swallowed past a knot that began to build in her throat as Cassie turned to look at them, the anger in her eyes unmistakable. Jacqui sucked on her bottom lip and glanced towards the exit. It would be so much easier to just leave. But she couldn’t run from her forever. Their circle was small. They shared friends. Their families were close. She couldn’t run every time she saw her. Jacqui sighed and shook her head, pushing a smile on her lips.
“We’ve been talking about doing this for forever. Now I’m finally here. We’re playing air hockey.”
Takeda glanced over at Cassie who was ordering another drink before giving Jacqui a skeptical look. “You sure?”
Jacqui nodded confidently before grabbing Takeda’s hand and dragging him to the table. The first game was uncomfortable. Jacqui was so focused on Cassie. She could feel her eyes burning into her back and could barely focus on the game. It was no wonder she lost. Even so, Takeda had been the one to head to the bar and order the drinks for them. She watched as Takeda tried to make small talk with Cassie, but from her body language, Jacqui could see that Cassie wasn’t interested. “What’d you say to her?” Jacqui asked once he got back.
Takeda looked over his shoulder then shrugged. “Just said hey.”
Jacqui raised a brow. “That’s all?”
Takeda shrugged. “She wasn’t exactly in the chatting mood.”
After a couple whiskey sours she felt herself loosening up. In fact she was less focused on Cassie and more focused on the way Takeda’s dark hair fell over his headband to ghost over his dark eyes. It had been too long since she’d seen him in person. He’d been in Earthrealm on an assignment for the Shirai Ryu while she was in Outworld and they’d only been able to talk a couple times a month. Still he’d been the one keeping her going especially with tension so high between her and Cassie and her father retired. She’d felt so alone being so far away from home. There hadn’t been anything between them before, but over that time and all of those video calls she couldn’t help but wonder if maybe something more could form between them. It also didn’t help that Takeda made his intentions very clear. Even now as he grazed his fingers over hers every time he handed over a drink, the way he stayed so close to her in between games she could feel the heat of his body radiating off his skin, she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t thinking about it. Especially now as she inhaled the whiskey on his breath, his lips close to hers, eyes low as he said, “I’m really glad you’re back, Jacqui. I missed you.”
She felt her own eyes lower as she fixed her lips to tell him she felt the same but before she could—
“God! Can’t you two take that shit somewhere else?”
Goosebumps sprouted all over Jacqui’s skin as she froze. Takeda whipped his head around, a deep scowl on his face. “What’s your problem, Cage?”
Cassie was walking over to them now, her fists balled tight. Jacqui made note of the way she stumbled over her feet. “Jeez, you can’t get a fucking room? Some of us are trying to drink in peace.”
“Maybe you should put down the drink and go home.”
But Cassie ignored Takeda, her eyes instead stabbing into Jacqui.
Jacqui swallowed hard. “We’re just trying to have a good time, Commander. We don’t want any trouble.”
Cassie clearly caught the way Jacqui emphasized her title as her jaw twitched when she heard it. She stepped closer to Jacqui, the two women toe to toe, face to face. Takeda tried to get between them but Jacqui gave him look, let him know she could handle this on her own. Her voice was calm but fierce when she said, “You need to back off, Commander.”
Again Cassie’s eyes went to Takeda then back to Jacqui. “Or what?”
A strong shove sent Jacqui stumbling back. Takeda was now in front of Cassie yelling at her to leave. Then came the knee to the balls that sent him down the ground. That was the last straw. This had nothing to do with Takeda. If Cassie wanted a fight, Jacqui thought to herself, she would give her one.
The first punch landed square in the middle of Cassie’s face; she put her hands up protectively a moment too late. Then came the growl as she charged at Jacqui. Blood was shed. The two of them rolled around on the floor going blow for blow until a bright light was flashed in their faces. Both women froze, a tangled heap on the floor. They gazed at one another, Jacqui wincing at the blood gushing from Cassie’s nose before throwing their hands up in surrender.
***
Jacqui often found herself thinking about the first time things really changed between her and Cassie. That too had happened at a bar. It had been the first time either of them had ever been to Outworld and they’d heard the bars were insane. Cassie had been the one who really wanted to go. Jacqui was a bit afraid about getting attacked by some angry Tarkatans considering they had been less than welcoming to the Special Forces infiltrating their realm. But Cassie had begged her with those cute puppy dog eyes. She couldn’t say no. She learned very quickly just how different Outworld bars were from Earthrealm bars. For one there was a fight pit out back where patrons were placing bets on the winners. Jacqui of course was disgusted but Cassie seemed to be in awe. They stood in line amongst a group of shouting Outworlders bumping shoulder to shoulder as the crowd raged around them. “My bet’s on Mileena.”
Jacqui gazed at the Takatan woman who, outside of the spikey teeth, looked nothing like Mileena. In fact there was a softness to this woman’s face that Mileena’s would never possess. She playfully punched Cassie’s arm. “Don’t insult that poor woman like that.”
Cassie laughed. “Fine. Well my bet’s on her. What about you?”
Jacqui didn’t want to bet but she figured if she had to she’d bet on the Shokan based on size and well, the extra arms. “That one,” Jacqui said pointing to the spotted woman with long brown hair braided down her back.
Cassie bought their betting slips along with two mugs of a foamy black liquid. She handed one to Jacqui as they pushed their way through the crowd.
Jacqui sniffed it and winced. It smelled cloyingly sweet and a bit medicinal almost like old cough syrup. “What the hell is this?”
Cassie shrugged. “They say it packs a hell of a punch though.” Cassie took a big gulp then coughed violently.
Jacqui couldn’t help laughing at her. “Well?”
Cassie clearly her throat then took a smaller sip. “It’s good! Taste it.”
Jacqui took a small sip before licking her lips. “I half expected battery acid but this will do.”
It only took a few sips before Jacqui started feeling the effects of the drink. She felt like the sky above them was starting to shift colors like a rubix cube. It went from grey, to a slight purplish pink, before settling on a deep navy blue. She realized Cassie must’ve been feeling it too because she was gazing up at the sky swaying too languidly to the rough music and deathly chanting around them. “You okay, Cass?”
Cassie continued to sway, a serene smile on her face as she reached her hand out. Jacqui stared at it briefly in confusion before grabbing it and allowed Cassie to interlock their fingers. For a moment they stood there underneath the shifting sky, loud voices roaring around them as the blood was spilled in the pit. Three rounds later the small Tarkatan woman had decapitated the Shokan, the blood splattered all across her face. The Takartan praise that followed was deafening. And in that chaos Cassie pulled Jacqui close to her, her hand moving to drag Jacqui in front of her so she could wrap an arm around her waist. Jacqui wasn’t sure what to do so she simply stood still feeling Cassie’s body swaying behind her.
After sand was spread over the Shokan blood and the body was removed, more fighters began approaching the pit. Jacqui’s eyes rested on them as she felt Cassie’s warm breath on the soft skin of her neck, a second arm wrapping around her waist. She wasn’t sure what to think about this. Something about Cassie wrapped around her in the mist of such chaos made her feel safe and secure. It was a nice contrast. But she wasn’t prepared when Cassie whispered in her ear, “I think about doing this a lot, you know. Holding you.”
Jacqui swirled in her arms so she was facing Cassie. Cassie’s eyes were low and heavy, that smile still on her face. “This Outworld sludge has you on your ass.”
Cassie chuckled. “Maybe.” Her eyes searched the darkness of Jacqui’s for something. Jacqui wasn’t sure what but she found herself getting lost in the swampy green of Cassie’s eyes, hers slipping to the gloss coating her lips. She remembered a time Cassie told her how some boy had bragged about how her kisses tasting like pineapple and she couldn’t help but wonder, did they taste like that now? Fuck, she thought to herself. Why was she thinking that? But they didn’t taste like pineapple. In fact she couldn’t pinpoint exactly what the flavor was masked underneath that Outworld sludge but they tasted nice all the same and warm against her lips. In the moment she’d thought it was the sludge that had made the kiss so intoxicating but it didn’t take her long to learn that alcohol wasn’t necessary for her to get drunk off of Cassie’s kisses.
***
“Ow!” Jacqui jumped as the medic wove a thread through the skin above her left eye. In addition to the gash, there was also a deep split in her bottom lip which had turned an angry red from where the blood had begun clotting and a bruise forming underneath her left cheek. She got me good, Jacqui thought to herself. It wasn’t easy to make her bruise. There was dried blood on the front of her dress. The rest that had gotten on her skin she’s already washed away.
They’d made it back to base after the fiasco at the bar. Turns out Cassie and Jacqui weren’t the first Special Forces soldiers to throw down at the Red Eagle. In fact, the bouncers were so familiar with the Special Forces that they knew exactly who to call to cart them away without things getting too out of hand. It worked in their favor as neither Cassie nor Jacqui were arrested for the altercation. But Jacqui shuttered just thinking about this getting back to the General.
“Cassie was way out of line. I’ll back you up with General Blade,” Takeda said, pacing back and forth in front of her. “She needs to pay for this.”
Jacqui appreciated the sentiment but in all honesty that wasn’t what was on her mind. As foolish as it may have been, Jacqui couldn’t help but think about Cassie. She could still feel the way her nose cracked underneath her fist and the way the blood gushed. Yes, she deserved it, but fuck, she didn’t mean to hurt her.
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine, Jacqui! She attacked us.”
“I know but—”
“But what?” Takeda asked stopping in front of her. “Are you really defending her right now?”
Jacqui’s eyes fell to the floor. Takeda opened his mouth to say more when the door to medical flew open. Kung Jin stepped inside, his eyes examining Jacqui’s face. “Wow. Not bad, Briggs,” he said glancing down at the blood stains on her clothes. “Better than Cage.”
“Is she okay?” Jacqui asked without thinking. Takeda gave her an annoyed look.
“Well…she might not be able to breathe through her nose for a while. What happened?”
“What are you even doing here, Jin?” Takeda asked, his arms folded over his chest.
“Cage called me. Said she’d got drunk and fucked up. Needed a ride back to base.”
“Damn right she did. She attacked me and Jacqui.”
“Fuck.” Kung Jin whistled but the look on his face said he wasn’t surprised. Jacqui knew Kung Jin and Cassie were friends and had gotten even closer after things fell apart between them. She couldn’t help but wonder what exactly Cassie had said to him when she called him up. “Well, as much as I really want to hear the details, I’m afraid this isn’t a social visit.”
Kung Jin’s eyes settled on Jacqui and the nurse patching her up. “You almost done?”
The nurse nodded.
“Good. General Blade is asking for you.”
“Shit,” Jacqui cursed quietly under her breath. She’d hoped she’d at least be able to get through the rest of the night before having to answer to the General.
“I’m going with you, “Takeda stated, but Jacqui shook her head.
“It’s fine. I’ll handle this on my own.”
“But I—”
Jacqui held up her hand after the last stitch was added. “I’ve got this, Takeda.”
She placed soft kiss against his cheek to reassure him before following Kung Jin out the door.
***
It had taken a while for things to progress between Jacqui and Cassie mostly due to denial. Jacqui had expected Cassie to blame the kiss on alcohol so it didn’t bother her when she did exactly that the day after. But that didn’t stop the kisses from occurring again and again. At first they did indeed take place after several drinks, not because the alcohol did anything to lower their inhibitions, but because it was a safe excuse. But after some time the alcohol was no longer needed. Three months later they’d progressed from secret kisses to much much more. Nine months later and they’d reached relationship status. This of course was an issue with the Special Forces as Cassie was technically Jacqui’s sergeant. This also brought about some complaints of special treatment from other soldiers. But two things worked in their favor. One, Cassie was often very hard on Jacqui, so hard that it was difficult to argue that she favored her over anyone else. And two, Cassie and Jacqui would never admit to their relationship. They were very careful, making sure to spend limited time together in public when they weren’t in a group. So even though many knew of their relationship, it was very difficult to prove. This had worked well for them for a long while, but it was only a matter of time before things changed.
Jacqui could still remember the day. Cassie was coming to her place that evening to watch Ninja Mime 3: The Return of the Realest Mime, a classic according to her father Johnny and the only installment that Cassie hadn’t seen for herself. She’d put on some popcorn on the stove and drizzled tabasco and butter flavoring all over it. She couldn’t understand why Cassie ate her popcorn this way, but she made it for her anyway. She’d also made sure to have beers ready and a bag of Reese Pieces for herself, plenty of blankets and pillows on the couch. By the time Cassie showed up she’d already showered and was wearing a pair deep purple boy shorts and a match sports bra, her dreads hanging down to the mid of her back. Cassie greeted her with a gentle kiss, her eyes roaming slowing over her exposed skin before shedding her boots and shuffling inside. Jacqui expected her to head straight for the kitchen for the popcorn but instead she headed to bedroom and planted herself on the edge of the bed, her back hunched over. Jacqui followed her inside going on about how the movie was ready and how she expected it to be every bit as awful as all the others, but Cassie sat unusually quiet. Jacqui sat down next to her, their thighs touching and she put her hand gently under Cassie’s chin. “What is it?” she asked softly.
Cassie swallowed but kept her eyes on her hands. “I went to see the General before I came here.”
Jacqui tensed. She knew that Cassie’s relationship with her mother wasn’t the best. Some progress had been made, but that didn’t stop her and Sonya from clashing often. “What happened?”
Cassie shrugged off her jacket and sighed heavily. “She told me that they’re looking at promoting me. To commander.”
Jacqui let the words settle in her brain for a moment before a large smile spread across her face. “Cass, that’s amazing! Why don’t you look excited?”
Cassie pressed a small smile on her lips that didn’t reach her eyes. Another heavy sigh escaped her lips as she stood from her spot and finally rested her eyes on Jacqui. “She talked about us.”
“Us?” Jacqui said quietly.
“She said that she’s been giving us a pass, so everyone else has been giving us a pass. But if I get promoted to commander we…you and me…”
Jacqui nodded slowly in understanding. “Oh,” she said barely above a whisper.
Now Jacqui was the one fidgeting with her thumbs, a lump forming her throat. She could feel Cassie’s eyes on her so she didn’t look up. Then she felt the roughness of her hands as she placed her palms on her cheeks. “But I can make this work.”
“Cass…”
“It’s been working up until this point. We just have to be super careful when we’re on duty. Even more careful than we’ve been. But it can work.”
“Cassie I don’t think we can—”
“We can, Jacqui!” There was a desperation to Cassie’s voice that Jacqui wasn’t used to. She felt her eyes watering as Cassie gazed into them, her thumb gently stroking her cheek. “If we can’t then…I’ll just tell the General to consider someone else.”
Jacqui shook her head emphatically as she hopped up from her spot. “You can’t do that, Cass.”
“I don’t think it will come to that. But if it does—”
“You can’t turn this down. You’ve worked too hard for this. You deserve this promotion. I don’t want to be in the way of that.”
Cassie stood in front of her and wrapped her arms around her waist. She rested her chin on Jacqui’s shoulder, her breath soft against her neck. “I love you, Jacqui. You could never be in the way.”
She shivered a little as Cassie’s lips lightly touched her neck before moving along you jaw and finally up to her lips. Jacqui relaxed as Cassie’s tongue explored her mouth wanting more than anything to lose herself into Cassie’s touch. She wanted to be reassured by Cassie’s words, wanted to believe her more than anything. But even then she knew she wouldn’t be able to.
***
“I don’t even know where to start with you two.”
General Sonya Blade glared down at the two of them from behind a thick metal desk inside a cramped office. Papers were scattered all over the top of the desk. There was one family picture on the edge from when Cassie was a young girl, maybe fourteen or fifteen in junior ROTC gear. Behind the desk on the white wall were plagues, rewards, American flags. Pictures with Raiden, Lui Kang and Kung Lao, and other Earthrealm fighters. And of course there was one of the General and Jax. Jacqui focused on that picture wondering what her father would say when he found out about this. She hoped that her aunt hadn’t told him already.
“Let’s start with you, Briggs. Assaulting a commanding officer. I expected more from you.” The General looked like she had been interrupted from a nap. Her usually neatly braided hair was a messy low ponytail, a hat thrown on top. There were bags underneath her eyes and some redness to them. “I don’t have to tell you how serious this is.”
“No, ma’am,” Jacqui said trying her hardest not to glance over at Cassie and inspect her face. “But I can explain.”
Sonya nodded. “Go on.”
“Specialist Briggs acted in self-defense.”
Jacqui froze. Her eyes went from Sonya to finally resting on Cassie whose nose was packed with gauze, a splint over it. She didn’t look at Jacqui but instead stared straight ahead at Sonya, her face stoic. “I had a lot to drink and I acted inappropriately. Specialist Briggs defended herself. She did nothing wrong.”
Sonya’s anger boiled over on her face, a deep red flushing her cheeks. “Unbelievable! I should’ve known. I had thought you’d grow out of doing dumb shit like this. What is wrong with you? What kind of leader are you? It’s clear that recommending your for Commander was a mis—”
“She’s covering for me, General,” Jacqui blurted out without thinking. Now Cassie looked at her, a what the fuck are you doing look on her face. “I lost my temper and I hit her. I was out of line. Commander Cage is a great leader. Her covering for me is evidence of that.”
“She’s lying!” Cassie interjected. “I meant what I said, General. I was in the wrong.”
Sonya eyed them both like she wanted whoop both of their asses. “Un-fucking-believable,” she scoffed and shook her head. “I get one night of peace and you two interrupt it with this bullshit.” Sonya stood, slamming her hands so hard on the desk both Cassie and Jacqui jumped. “I don’t have time for this! You two need to fix this shit tonight because if I have to deal with this tomorrow there will be hell to pay, is that understood?”
“Yes, ma’am!” They both said in unison.
“Dismissed!” Sonya forced them both out of her office before locking the door and storming off, leaving the two of them standing awkwardly in a narrow hall together.
After a brief moment of silence Cassie spoke. “That was fucking stupid.”
Jacqui frowned, confused. “I was trying to help you.”
Cassie shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Still making decisions for me. I didn’t ask for your help, Jacqui.”
“So what, I was supposed to just let her tear into you? Your position was at risk, don’t you get that?”
“Exactly! MY position! It was MY problem. I didn’t need you to fix this for me.”
“Well excuse me for trying to help!”
Cassie scowled at her and for a moment Jacqui thought she might try to hit her again. But instead she just scoffed and stormed off leaving Jacqui utterly confused.
Jacqui immediately found Takeda after the exchange to fill him in on everything that had happened. It was no surprised to her that he was baffled by her decision to stand up for Cassie despite her instigating things between them. But she wasn’t in the mood to be lectured and even more so, she couldn’t get Cassie’s words out of her mind. She’d felt bad about the ruined date with Takeda but she wasn’t ready to let go of the discussion with Cassie. So she let Takeda know she would be turning in early before heading home for a quick shower and change of clothes and finding herself on Cassie’s door step a couple hours later.
Despite the blinds being closed she could see the dim glow of lights from the living room and hear the soft lull of music playing in background letting her know that Cassie was still awake. Her eyes were glued to the welcome mat as she traced the edges with her foot. Her heart was beating wildly and for a moment she considered walking away. She didn’t want to fight but she didn’t want to leave things with Cassie the way they were. It was bad enough they were worse than they’d ever been between them. To leave them as they were would make things irreparable and she she couldn’t accept that. She swallowed her fear and rapped loudly on the door. There was shuffling inside. She saw Cassie’s shadow trek towards the door before the music turned down. There was a long pause and Jacqui could tell that Cassie was watching her through the peephole. Despite the anxiety she felt creeping up her neck, she kept her eyes on the door, gave Cassie eye contact.
The sound of locks clicking echoed into the night before the door inched open. Cassie stood before her, the bruising across her face even worse than it had been an hour before. She stood wearing a green sports bra and matching shorts, her arms folded her over chest. For a moment the two simply stared at one another, Cassie with a scowl on her face her eyes falling on the black t-shirt and gray army pants that replaced her dress. Jacqui tried to keep her face as even as possible as she pulled her jacket closed, the cold air rattling her, before Cassie stepped out of the way pulling the door open to let her in.
The warmth of the home was a nice contrast to the chill outside. She could smell the dragon’s breath from the candle Cassie was burning and hear the music was still on, a muted piano. Cassie headed left, plopping down on the living room couch. Jacqui followed sitting on the other end. She ran her tongue across her scarred lip as she twiddled her thumbs unsure of where to start. Luckily for her Cassie went first.
“So you and Takeda, is that like a thing now?”
Jacqui glanced up at her and saw that now Cassie was the one gazing off anywhere to avoiding looking at her. “I—”
“Because the way you were…the way he…I mean fuck, Jacqui, you couldn’t go somewhere else?”
Jacqui gritted her teeth. “So that’s what all of this was about? What do you expect me to do Cass, run every time I see you?”
“No, I just…I didn’t know you two were…I wasn’t ready for that. Is that why you decided to end it? Because you were interested in him?”
Jacqui felt heated rising underneath her skin. “You can’t be serious. You know that’s not why. I did what was best for you.”
Cassie scoffed. “Right, just like you did in the General’s office.”
“I was helping you.”
“I didn’t ask for your help! Just like I didn’t ask you to decide whether being Commander was more important to me than us! I told you, I would make it work.” Cassie was now staring right at her, fire burning bright in her green eyes.
There was a harshness in her words that Jacqui had never heard before. It occurred to her that they’d never properly discussed this. After things had ended they avoided each other as much as possible outside of active duty. Jacqui had always assumed it would happen once things settled down, once emotions weren’t so high. But it was now eight months later and here they were just barely touching on it.
“There was no making it work, Cass. It was us or your rank and I couldn’t let you choose me over that. It wasn’t fair.”
“It wasn’t your choice to make, Jacqui.”
Jacqui shook her head. “You’re tell me if you had the opportunity right now to drop your rank and be with me you’d do it?”
Cassie thought for a moment, her frown deepening. “It’s different now. I can’t just abandon my position now.”
“Exactly! The Special Forces needs you…more than I do. And let’s be honest, if it had really come to that and you chose me, you would’ve resented me for it.”
Cassie let out a contemptuous laugh. “I already resent you.”
A soft gasp escaped Jacqui’s lips. She wasn’t sure what to say. If she could go back and face that decision again, she wasn’t sure she could allow herself to make any other decision. She loved Cassie, still, but as a soldier they took an oath for their realm, an oath that came before everything else even each other. But she couldn’t help the lump that was building her in throat, the tear that was stinging the corner of her right eye. Quietly she said, “It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be your choice.”
Cassie closed her eyes for a moment and rubbed gently over her temples. An exasperated sigh forced its way out of her lips. “Look, I was wrong for pushing you and, you know, kicking Takeda in the balls. And I deserved this,” she said pointing at her nose. “A commander needs to keep a level head at all times. Even when she’s feeling jealous. It won’t happen again.”
Jacqui nodded her appreciation as she swiped at the corner of her eye. There was another pause before she said, “It’s not serious, you know. Takeda and I. We’re just feeling each other out. Getting to know each other.”
For a moment the pair held eye contact, Cassie’s eyes softening a bit for the first time all evening. But before Jacqui could get lost her in her gaze, she stood and walked towards the adjoining kitchen. “You want anything to drink?”
Jacqui thought for a moment. A drink now? “What are you drinking?”
Jacqui heard some clattering before Cassie returned with two bottles of water and handed one to her. When she sat down they were much closer now, close enough for their arms to brush again each other.
An audible sigh of relief escaped Jacqui’s lips as she opened the bottle.
“Think I’ve had enough alcohol for one night,” Cassie said before taking a long gulp. A soft smile spread across her face and Jacqui couldn’t help but think it was the first time she’d seen it in a long time. She smiled too, sipping the water to keep from having to fill the silence with words. For a moment they both just sat, the gentle sounds of a grand piano surrounding them. When Cassie was done with her water, she examined Jacqui’s face more thoroughly taking in the stitches, the bruise and her scarred lip for the first time. Gently she placed her hand on the left side of Jacqui’s face, ghosting over the stitches. “Definitely deserved this.”
Jacqui smiled, instinctively leaning into Cassie’s touch. “You did, but I still feel bad about your nose. Didn’t mean to do that to you.”
Cassie shrugged. “It’s been worse. It’ll heal.”
Jacqui relished in the light air between them. For a while they chatted as they used to, easy and sweet. It felt like a weight had been temporarily lifted off her shoulders. She talked about all the little things that just didn’t feel right sharing with anyone else, the inside jokes that only Cassie would appreciate. How she had missed being able to just sit back and talk shit with her favorite girl. The more they talked the closer they drifted back into old habits. Jacqui found herself shrugging out of her jacket and resting her back on Cassie’s chest as Cassie leaned back on the arm of the soft. She enjoyed the soft vibration against her back as Cassie laughed behind her and it occurred to her that she’d missed this a lot more than she’d allowed herself to believe. If she was being honest, she’d done everything she could to suppress just how much the breakup had hurt her.
Yes, she felt she’d done the right thing because if the tables had been turned she would’ve wanted Cassie to do the same for her, but it didn’t mean that it hadn’t hurt her too. But she and Cassie didn’t delve into any of this. They kept the conversation as light as possible, but Jacqui couldn’t help hearing Cassie’s words in her head. I already resent you. It was stuck in her mind. But she was too was afraid to get too deep into things, afraid of bringing down the vibe and having Cassie shut down on her, so she tabled it in her mind for now.
Some hours passed and before long Jacqui found herself blinking awake in a dark house. She wasn’t sure when she’d drifted off, but she could hear the soft hum of Cassie’s light snores. She was still behind her, one left propped into the back of the couch against Jacqui’s side, the other a right degree angle with her foot on the floor. A blanket had been laid out across Jacqui but it barely touched Cassie. Jacqui sat up, yawning and feeling around in the darkness for her phone. When she found it the screen nearly blinded her as she just barely made out the time, 4:32, and the beginning of a text from Takeda.
Hey, just wanted to make sure…
Jacqui rubbed her eyes before looking back at Cassie splayed out behind her. Nothing has changed, she thought to herself. Cassie was still her commander, their situation still remained the same. And yet…
She stood stretching out her long frame before tapping Cassie on her shoulder. Cassie’s eyes fluttered before landing on Jacqui’s outstretched hand in confusion. Still she took it and together they stumbled to Cassie’s oversized bedroom. Cassie crawled into the bed, grabbed at the blankets and sighing softly. Jacqui watched her, a debate forming her mind. There’s still time to change your mind. Cassie watched her with one eye open, her head resting on a pillow. Jacqui closed her eyes and nodded once to herself as she pulled her t-shirt over her head and slipped out of her pants leaving her in just her bra and underwear. She didn’t know when a moment such as this would present itself again, if ever, and she wasn’t quite ready for it to end. So, like she’d done so many times before, she crawled into the king sized bed, hovering over Cassie as she gently shifted on her back and opened her arms to welcome her. She rested her head against her chest, relishing in the warmth of her skin as Cassie wrapped her arms around her, holding her securely against her. Tomorrow she would deal with her commander, but tonight, she’d allow herself to be at ease in the arms of the one she loved.