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She's never been one to dwell. It makes the limbo she occupies fraught with "What ifs" and "Could haves" and everything Okiku knows she shouldn't indulge herself in. But, moreso, it makes Tark restless and upset. He's become fine-tuned to her moods, to the thrum that resonates between them. Her yearning sparks something inside the boy that Okiku cannot bear. So she keeps her wandering thoughts to herself - and tries not to dwell.
But occasionally, in the shadowed corners of her mind, and in the heavy-blanketed mornings, the sun late to rise (as is Tark), she'll gaze out at the heavy, dewy sky, and wonder what could have been.
What she might have discovered that night, had she only let go. Had she been just a little bit more selfish. Callie was there, in front of her, crimson staining everything a sickening hue (red, what a horrible color). The young woman had urged her - "Go! Go, go with them." And when Okiku's gaze had landed on Yoko and Chiyo, smiling, content, she'd realized that she had never wanted anything more. As soon as the thought crossed her mind, though, every fiber of her being rejected it. Yes, there was something she desired more than peace. And that something was lying inside the temple, gasping out his last breath as the malevolent beings plaguing him were finally ripped away.
For a brief and shaming moment, Okiku truly entertained the prospect of crossing. Of leaving this wretched realm once and for all. To step across that river and join her fireflies. Perhaps her lord would be waiting, or at least, the man she knew before his cutting betrayal. They would embrace, and Okiku would whisper in his ear - "All is forgiven." And she would mean it, truly and sincerely. She would find peace, and her world-weary soul could finally rest.
But could her happy ending truly come at the expense of an innocent boy's life?
"Yes," her conscience whispered traitorously. "He would join there, across the river, would he not?"
"I've no right," She murmured in response. "To choose for him."
So, in the end, Okiku made her own choice. To give life and second chances where they were due.
-~-
In that fuzzy, muted period between night and day, a spirit gazes down on the sleeping boy who has come to mirror her own soul. She lays a hand on his brow, smiling gently.
And Okiku is content.