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Lestat was pacing about his and Nicolas' small bedroom, working himself into a frenzy. He hadn't slept properly in perhaps two weeks, and it was wearing him down a lot faster than he thought it would. The blond figured that Nicki was in the sitting room, and a part of him wanted to call his violinist and maybe yell a bit to let his frustration out, but the rational part of his brain held him back. Lestat felt somewhat like a petulant child throwing a tantrum, he was going mental, torn between wanting to throw himself on the bed dramatically and scream into a pillow and wanting to go to the sitting room and talk to Nicki about his problems calmly. In short, Lestat was bordering on furious, and was throwing a silent tantrum as he continued to pace the room, practically frothing at the mouth. He whipped around at the sound of a knock at the door, knowing that Nicki was probably coming to check on him, Lestat ripped the door open, letting it slam against the wall as he resumed in his pacing. "Bad time?" Nicolas asked softly, moving over to the bed and sitting down on the edge of it, obviously watching the blond pace. "What do you want? Have you come to coddle me like a child?" Lestat snapped, his lips drawn back in a snarl as he whirled around to face Nicolas, his muscles were tensed as he stared at the brunet, fury making his eyes narrow as he stared icily at Nicki. "No, I came to make sure you weren't doing something that puts you at risk." Lestat heard how calm the violinist sounded, and that only heightened his fury as the tension in his muscles increased, all he could hear in the otherwise silent room was his heavy panting and his heart hammering in his chest. "What do I do, Nicolas? The last time I checked I don't go and hide in a closet at every minor inconvenience and wait for my suitor, for want of better word, to show up and make me all better!" The blond said with a sarcastic laugh, staring down Nicolas as though he were sizing him up for an attack.
"You know that's not what I meant, Lestat. I just want to help." Nicki looked and sounded hurt, which pleased Lestat in some sickening way, a way that would normally appall him. "Help? I don't need help at all." The blond snapped, throwing his hand up in the air as he resumed his infuriated pacing, his whole body shaking with semi-suppressed rage, his breathing was fast and harsh, Lestat was certain his face was red with anger at that point. "Lestat, please. You know I mean well." Nicolas mumbled, looking anxious at Lestats furious outburst, which also satisfied the blonds inexpiable craving for something he couldn't place a name to. "Would you just get out? I don't need help, I can handle this myself." Lestat was still fuming, though Nicki was ever so slowly pushing his buttons, despite him not wanting to admit that. "You can't tell me to get out, this is just as much my room as it is yours." Nicolas still had a hurt expression on his face, the pitiful tone the violinist used only enraged the blond further, his whole body positively quaking with pure unrestrained rage. "Would you just be quiet?" The taller man hissed, his nails digging into his palms so viciously that he was certain blood had been drawn. Nicolas only nodded, causing the blond to fall into a confused fury, his angered mind not understanding how the violinist was so calm despite his own anger.
As Lestat continued in his frenzy, slamming the bedroom door shut on impulse when he neared it, wanting desperately to just strike out at something, but finding nothing suitable for his need. A part of Lestat wanted Nicolas to goad him further, to give him more of a reason to yell and throw an even larger tantrum than the one he had already been throwing, just so he could get out his exhausted frustration. Nicolas remained silent, which in turn only increased Lestats fury. "You just sit there in a condescending silence as if you're better than me? It's like I can't do anything that truly appeases you." Lestat snarled, somewhat trying to shove Nicolas over the edge and get a good argument going, and becoming further displeased as the brunet remained absolutely silent. The blond paused in his pacing to give the violinist a stony glare, his breaths still rapid as his heart thundered in his ears, Lestats anger was only growing as Nicolas gave no response to his attempts to actually get the brunet to respond. "Oh, yes. Ignore me, that's so mature, Nicolas, so mature." Lestat continued in his ridiculous endeavor to try and get Nicolas to take the bait and snap back, his anger leading him on in his foolish actions. "I don't see the need to give you what you want, that would make me as irrational as you're being right now." Nicolas' response was not what the blond had planned on receiving, and that only amplified his acrimony, he resumed his pacing, furious with the violinist for not responding the way he wanted him to. "Oh? I'm being the irrational one? How is that?"
Nicolas continued to ignore Lestat after the negative response, which only caused the blond to continue in his furious ranting. "How is it that I'm being irrational, huh? Why would you think that?" Lestat asked, his eyes still narrowed as he continued pacing, furious with Nicolas for being so relaxed despite Lestats own anger. The blond fell silent as he paced, finding that his anger had rendered him incapable of forming proper words. All Lestat could hear was the sound of his breathing and his rapid heartbeat, otherwise, the room was dead silent, the blond was becoming uncertain on whether his tantrum was worth it, but he was still agitated and needed to get some of his frustration out. He couldn't fully remember why he had gotten to that point, all he knew was that he was upset and didn't understand why. Lestat knew Nicki was watching, felt the brunets sharp brown-eyed gaze on him, it made his skin prickle, knowing that he was practically being examined, studied, analyzed. The blond didn't make it knowing that Nicki's arresting gaze was starting to make him less than comfortable, but he was beginning to rant again just for the sake of ranting. "I stay up for weeks on end, weeks, and yet we still struggle, I don't understand." Lestat finally spoke his most coherent sentence, his scattered mind was making it even harder to understand why things were the way they were, and that was only increasing his frustration.
Lestat continued rambling to nobody in particular as he paced back and forth, his muscles tense as he spoke mostly nonsense, he was slowly coming down from his spike of rage, and felt rather foolish for acting like a child. "Come sit beside me, pacing and speaking gibberish won't make you feel any better." Nicolas interjected before Lestat could go back into a fury, the blond complied, his outburst had left him with only the exhaustion that had originally sparked his frustration. Now Lestats anger had dropped down to nothing, but he knew it was still there, simmering beneath the surface of his skin like a deadly poison. The blond was dimly aware of Nickis arm wrapping around his shoulders, pulling him closer, which Lestat was grateful for, he was too tired to think of any protests. "What got you so worked up, hmm?" Nicolas asked softly, kissing Lestats temple as the blond leaned his head on his dear violinists shoulder. The somewhat taller man let out a string of unintelligible explanations, stifling a yawn as Nicki only laughed slightly, seemingly relieved that Lestat had finally come to his senses and ceased in his ranting. "Alright then. I know you haven't been sleeping much, how about we try and get some sleep, we can talk after you wake." Nicolas suggested, pulling the blond down with him so they could curl up on the bed together, Lestat wiggled around a little, trying to find a comfortable position but being incapable of actually finding a way to lay down that he would be able to sleep in without a fuss. The leftover adrenaline from his fit of rage had left him fidgeting and shaking, unable to stay still.
Of course, Lestat could count on his Nicki to notice his discomfort. The brunet nudged Lestats hip gently to encourage him to turn over, to which Lestat instantly complied, letting Nicolas guide his head down to his chest. Lestat rested his head right over where Nickis heart was, the brunets heartbeat thumping right in his ear, the soothing noise beginning to slow down his own rapidly-beating heart. "Good boy. Thanks for finally listening to me." There was no anger in Nickis voice, only a light teasing, and this gentle tone caused Lestat to quietly laugh as the remaining frustration dissipated with the understanding that he and his Nicki had for each other, and the realization that he had been childish and had probably caused the violinist the need to stifle laughter at least once. "Thank you, Nicki. I know I acted rather obnoxious. I don't understand how you stand me sometimes." The blond mumbled, arms tight around Nickis lean waist. "Let's not talk about that until you've gotten some sleep, alright? We'll talk later." The violinist responded, his one hand beginning to run through Lestats (hopefully) soft hair, the slightly taller man leaned slightly into his Nickis gentle touch. Nicolas mumbled quiet assurances and kind words to Lestat as he slowly began to fall asleep, something that the blond had done for Nicki so many times before. There wasn't much the two couldn't share with each other, but a part of Lestat was worried about speaking to the violinist after they had taken a nap together, he didn't want his Nicki to see just how afraid and tired he really was. He felt like he needed to support Nicki first before worrying about himself, as the brunet had many more important problems than Lestat did. "Go to sleep, Stat. I promise we'll handle this after we've both gotten the rest we need." Nicolas murmured as Lestat shifted around slightly, the violinist was evidently tired as well, and the blond squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself to just sleep. It seemed as though sleep was finally kind enough to take him, for when Lestat next opened his eyes it was to Nicki sitting up in the small bed they shared reading a book.
"You slept for a while." Nicki murmured upon Lestat sitting up and stretching his stiff muscles, the violinist set his book on the side-table, fixing the blond with a sharp gaze. "Did I?" The slightly taller man tried to think of a way to change the subject before Nicki was inquiring about his previous outburst, his thoughts and his heart racing as he met his Nickis eyes with what he hoped was a calm gaze. "We need to talk about what happened earlier. It's not common for you to get like that out of nowhere, you know you can talk to me at any time." At the violinists words, Lestat felt slightly guilty for acting in such a manner, of course he could have talked to Nicki, that's what they had promised each other, right? To help one another whenever it was needed? "I know. I didn't think it would escalate so quickly. I also didn't know you would actually come into the room, thought you would have just knocked and then went away after." The blond responded, his words lacking most emotion, he was still tired. "May I remind you that you were the one who opened the door? I'm not mad at you, I want to know what happened to get you to that point." Nicolas responded, pulling the blond closer to himself, as though trying to show Lestat the lack of anger that he felt. "It doesn't matter. It's over now, and it's not happening again." Lestat answered, pulling away slightly, he felt like he didn't deserve to even be in the same room as Nicki, let alone be in physical contact with him. At Lestats actions, Nicki frowned, but loosened his grip, leaving it up to the blond what he wanted to do regarding their partial embrace. "It does matter, Lestat. It really does, it matters to me. You can't get mad at yourself for having emotions, that's not what I want to see. I want you to feel like you can come and talk to me when you need to, not to feel like you can't ever speak to me about your problems."
Nicki waited patiently in silence for Lestat to respond, the latter found himself having difficultly speaking, not wanting his voice to break, he wanted the conversation to be over with. "I just- it's been hard, not sleeping for rehearsal or going to the theatre or something, then I'll take it out on you and feel bad after and refuse to talk about it. I let all my problems remain unresolved just so I can support you, because I don't want to trouble you with my own dilemmas." Lestat finally worked out, nearly having to pause so he could get control of his voice again. His violinist only hummed sympathetically, pulling the blond closer. "Breaks are good too, talking to me shouldn't be a problems. Just because I have my own does not mean you can't speak to me if you're upset, stressed, or just need someone to listen to you. Just like I talk to you when I need someone, I know you'll listen, and I will always do the same for you." Nicki answered, rubbing small circles on Lestats shoulder with his thumb in a calming motion, it was obvious at that point that Lestat had to constantly blink back tears. "I-" Lestat found himself incapable of speaking, just leaning his head onto the brunets shoulder and keeping himself close to his Nicki. "I love you. I'll never be able to say that to you enough." Nicki whispered, laying a trail of gentle kisses all over Lestats face wherever he could reach, surely noticing the few tears that had slipped out of the blonds grey eyes. "I love you." The slightly taller man mumbled in a shaking voice, turning his face so it was mostly hidden in Nickis shoulder, repeating those three words multiple times as though those would be his last words, each repeat growing shakier as he spoke. "Shh. I love you mon cher." The violinist hushed the blond, pulling Lestat into a full hug. "Everything works out in the end, I promise it'll all be alright." Nicki assured, if he noticed Lestats crying, he hadn't yet mentioned it, only remained silent with his hand slowly moving up and down the blonds back in a soothing gesture.
Lestat finally looked up at his Nicki with tears staining his face, all his movements were shaky as he gently placed a hand on the violinists cheek. "I don't know what I would ever do without you." The blond murmured, pressing their foreheads together as he let out a soft sob, holding Nicki to him tightly. "Don't cry, you needn't cry. I know what it's like, I understand." Nicolas soothed, continuing in his consoling motions over Lestats back, knowing that it was unlikely his soothing actions and words were truly making a dent in the blonds distress. Lestat felt the bitter and warm tears continuously welling up and overflowing, he hated it, hated feeling so weak, hated being unable to control his emotions, hated the fact that he couldn't handle just a few nights without sleep. "If you keep pushing yourself to your limits, you'll always feel like this, you know." Nicki finally spoke, his voice like a lighthouse cutting through the foggy haze over a sea, bringing Lestat back to his reality. "I know, but I can't help it. It's the way I've always been." The blonds voice was weak, still trembling from his sobs, he felt absolutely pitiful. Lestat was dimly away of Nicki pulling away slightly to plant a kiss on his cheek, savoring the feeling of soft breath on his tear-soaked skin before that feeling was gone again, he clung to the violinist now, his breaths rapid as though he were afraid that Nicki would vanish if he let his beloved go. Nicolas didn't respond, only holding Lestat a little closer, a little tighter, it was obvious he knew how deep the slightly taller mans distress ran, how deeply-rooted Lestats fears truly were. There was a moment of silence between them, though neither of them could call a Golden Moment, it was instead a moment of understanding, of pure and true emotion that neither of them would be able to place throughout their lives. It was simply their moment, their moment alone.
They stayed locked together in that tight embrace for an immeasurable amount of time, until Lestat had gotten his breathing under control and was ready to let go, pressing a chaste kiss to the violinists cheek before pulling away fully, the tears still visible on his cheeks. "Thank you, Nicki." Those three words were all Lestat found himself able to muster, surely he would have said so much more if he were able to, but thankfully Nicki understood perfectly all that he meant with his short sentence. "You never need to thank me for something like this, ever. I will do this for you until the end of my days, no matter what." The brunet responded, taking Lestats hand and lacing their fingers together, offering the blond a small smile. "We'll be okay, right Nicki?" Lestat asked softly, using his free hand to wipe the remaining tears from his cheeks. "Of course we will, as I said; everything works out in the end." Nicolas answered, giving the blonds hand a gentle squeeze as he spoke, watching as Lestat finally met his eyes. "Come, maybe if we're lucky it won't be raining too hard out, we could go for a walk if that's something you'd like to do." Nicki suggested his idea, to which Lestat agreed instantly, he wanted out of their tiny apartment, even if it was just for an hour at most. Perhaps it was the love they had for each other, perhaps it was fate, destiny, or just plain old coincidence that had brought them together, but both Lestat and Nicki knew in that moment that whatever the universe had planned for them, they wanted to face it together no matter the cost. "Nicki?" The blond mumbled, looking at his beloved violinist with red and puffy eyes. "Yes, Stat?" Nicolas returned, using the nickname he had decided on for the taller man quite some time ago. "I just wanted to tell you how much I love you." Lestat replied, looking down at the ground as the faintest hint of red began to color his cheeks. "I love you too, Lestat, I have since the first night we had spent together." They both remembered the night that Nicki mentioned as though it had been only a day ago, the night they had experienced their first Golden Moment, back before Paris, before they had a name for such moments. With that, the two of them pulled on their boots and walked out into the streets of Paris together, grinning and laughing as they walked, not having a destination in mind, only knowing that they had each other and that having each other was the only thing they truly needed.