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The moment Sukai first laid his eyes on Shosei, he couldn’t help but agree to what everyone said: This guy looked like an angel. Next to him Sukai felt even more like a mere mortal, but still he wanted to be close to that angel. Ultimately, the wish to make this angel his grew inside of him. He seemed so lost and in distress, thus Sukai wanted to protect the light that had entered his life.
At first, he had a hard time getting close to the other one. They shared some friends from early on, but there was something between them that they just couldn’t get along no matter how hard Sukai tried. Did the other one knew his intentions? No, that couldn’t be possible. Sukai’s face always stayed unreadable.
Shosei’s blonde hair, his way of speaking and showing his emotions... It was impossible not to fall for him. Sukai looked at him at any possible minute, looking for an opportunity for him to approach his angel, but it was harder than expected. An angel was the enemy of the devils and maybe Sukai was one. Black was his colour because that was the colour of his heart.
People always said that opposites attracted each other and Sukai believed this to be true. That’s why the devil Sukai didn’t give up on the angel Shosei. He wanted to make him his. But he didn’t want to taint him, no never, he liked Shosei for being the light. Maybe his light could give his dark heart salvation.
Others might have said that deep in his mind he was obsessed with the other one, but didn’t plants also grow towards the light always? It was only natural for him to reach for the blonde one. Sure, there were other people in the group that symbolised light, but none of them had such a warm light like Shosei did. So Sukai never gave up with his pursuit – to Shosei’s initial disappointment.
Eventually everything exploded between the two of them and there was a fight. To say that the fight was nasty was an understatement. The words they screamed at each other were something that you should use. In the middle of their fight, something snapped inside of Sukai. He pushed the blonde one against wall, but instead of hitting him Sukai kissed Shosei.
The slightly shorter one wasn’t happy about that in the beginning. He struggled against Sukai and bit his lips, but ultimately, he kissed him back. It wasn’t a soft kiss like you expected from a first one, no, it stayed messy and forceful – heralding their relationship. Breathlessly they parted. Forgotten were the insults from earlier and a new kind of tension was born.
The rest of their group seemed surprised about this development, but they didn’t protest. There was some stress taken out of them and that’s what they needed the most at this point. Little did everyone knew about the true nature of the relationship that would develop later on.
However, in the first phase, Sukai was on cloud nine. Shosei was his angel now and no one dared to challenge that – not even Shosei himself. After work, they often spend time in each other’s rooms and Sukai enjoyed having the other one for himself in the night. He could share him during the day, but during the night Shosei belonged to him.
Still, those nights were nothing like people would suspect. Most of the time, it was just the two of them eating dinner together and watching a movie or some anime. As long as Shosei was with him and not with someone else Sukai was fine with whatever they did at that moment. Thus, most of the time the blonde one decided on their evening program, but no matter what it was, Sukai enjoyed it.
He enjoyed feeding Takoyaki to the other one who cutely blushed about the gesture. He enjoyed having him in his arms while watching a video. He enjoyed watching Shosei doing his beauty night routine. Just having his angel with him was enough to make him happy.
Around Shosei, he felt warm. The other one radiated a special kind of light which light up and warmed up Sukai’s dark heart. He was sure that only a real angel was able to do such things.
“You are truly an angel.”, he mumbled while combing through the other one’s hair with his fingers.
“I am not. Stop saying this.”
“To me you are.”
Only when they were with each other, Sukai truly felt like himself. He didn’t need to pretend to be someone who the public likes. His angel accepted him for who he was truly. And he also discovered sides of the blonde no one else knew. There was a Shosei reserved just for him and this Shosei made him fall deeper for him.
That’s why he wasn’t happy when Shosei spent the evening in his room or worse in someone else room. Far too often to Sukai’s liking his boyfriend watched animes together with Shion and Syoya. Sure, the four of them were S4, a beloved unit who got along well during the day, but during the night Shosei should belong to him. Was it really too much to ask for?
It wasn’t like he didn’t try to join those anime nights. But it was boring. The plots were weird and the blonde one’s attention was surely on the show and not on him. Thus, Sukai didn’t like it at all.
Yet Shosei was someone stoic, thus if he wanted to do something, he did it even when his boyfriend disliked it. Hence, Sukai had to be creative in luring his boyfriend back to where he belonged – to his room.
It was one of their rare weekends when both of them had time off and of course Sukai had only one goal in mind – spending it with Shosei. Sho and Junki had invited him to some vocal training together and Keigo wanted to go to the gym with him but he declined both. His weekend was reserved for one person only – who had other plans.
Exactly because they had the whole weekend off, Shosei wanted to visit Disneyland together with Ruki finally. Sukai knew that it was a dream of the blonde one since he moved to Tokyo, but the fact it was with Ruki and only with Ruki made his blood boil. It felt too much like a date.
He wanted to prevent Shosei from going with Ruki, offered to take him there another day, offered to take him somewhere else fancy and where it was just the two of them, asked him whether he could join, too, but he had no chance.
“Stop it, Sukai. You are too much for me. I need a day free from you, too.”, was all that Shosei answered to his pleas.
In that moment Sukai’s mind went crazy. He wanted his boyfriend to stay with him. He didn’t want to share his angel with someone else. Not even Ruki who was his friend. The darkest part of him even wanted to chain Shosei to his room.
As expected, Sukai’s mood was bad the whole day. He had no motivation to do anything that day. Instead, he just waited for his boyfriend to return while cursing Ruki’s existence. Yes, Ruki was his friend, but not even his friends were allowed to take his angel from him. Shosei belonged to him and no one else.
Besides locking himself into his room all day, his mood somehow didn't go unnoticed by the other members, thus in the evening Ren dragged him into their leader’s room which was their unofficial meeting room.
“Sukai, we have to talk.”, their leader said after their arrival.
“Please don’t take it wrongly, but we are worried about you and Shosei.”, added Ren. “But we think that your relationship is not good for you two.”
“Why are you saying this?” Again, he became angry. A small part of him was still able to tell him that his reaction was unreasonable and that his friends cared about him.
“Takumi told me earlier that he heard you fighting because Shosei went to Disneyland with Ruki.”, Ren explained.
“So?”
“And Syoya and Shion told me that you always complain about their anime nights.”, added their oldest.
“And? I want to spend time with my boyfriend. Is that so wrong?” Did they want to take Shosei from him, too? Did they want to claim his angel for themselves?
“But you two spend already so much time together. During our schedules you are always together and after the schedules, too. It’s like you two became conjoined twins. Two people and yet always together.” There was concern in Sho’s voice, but Sukai’s mind decided to ignore it. Too much did his words anger him.
“And? You were never in a relationship like ours. You don’t understand.”
“Sukai, we are only worried about you.” There was concern in Ren’s voice, too, when he laid his hand on Sukai’s shoulder to pacify him. But even his soft and calm way of speaking didn’t help.
“What do you know about relationships? You can’t even enter the room of your crush.”
“Sukai!” Sho’s voice had become sterner, but the youngest one didn’t listen.
“Don’t tell me how to deal with my relationship. It’s not your problem.”
“It is our problem because you are both our friends and group members.”
“And you don’t know anything.”
Not willing to continue the discussion, Sukai wanted to leave the room, but Sho grabbed his arm to stop him. “Sukai, you are not yourself anymore. We are worried.”
“You really don’t know anything.”, he broke free from the leader’s grab. “Thanks to Shosei, I’m more myself than I ever was.” With a loud “bang” he closed the door behind himself and went back to his room.
He had always thought that Sho and Ren were understanding people who could read others well, but after that talk he came to see them as enemies of his relationship. Surely, so he thought, they wanted to have his angel for themselves. Especially Ren, who knew Shosei from the start, surely knew what a healing aura the other one had and wanted to have it back for himself. But there was no way that Sukai would let go of him.
Later that evening, he heard a knock on his door. For a moment he had hoped that Shosei had returned, but soon he heard Ren’s voice from the other side of the door. “Sukai, it’s me, Ren. Let us talk please.”
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Please. Both you and Shosei are like brothers to me. I want you guys to happy, that’s why I am worried.”
“Liar. You want Shosei for yourself. You want to steal my angel from me.”
“Never Sukai. I saw how happy he made you. And I want you two to be as happy again as you were in the beginning.”
The voice from the other side of the door sounded sad, which was indeed rare for Ren, but Sukai’s mind didn’t accept that. There was only one thing left inside of it and that was Shosei. “Go away.”
It was close to midnight when Shosei finally returned with Ruki. Sukai was still waiting for them and ready to confront Shosei, but to his surprise, the blonde one went straight to his boyfriend’s room after his return.
“I brought you something from Disneyland.” A cute plushie and some cookies in a Disney design pushed into his arms, but he didn’t care much about those. What mattered was that Shosei had returned to him. Still, the whole incident earlier that day was on his mind.
“And you think you get my forgiveness that easily?”
“Of course not.”
A kiss followed and finally Sukai’s mind calmed down. Shosei had returned to him; his angel had returned to him and his heart felt finally warm again. This was what he was craving for the whole day. No one could ever understand that feeling. Shosei was the salvation for his dark heart.
To his luck, Shosei also spend the night in his room and when Sukai woke up the next morning, he still felt at peace. Waking up next to his angel, felt like he had entered paradise. It was just the two of them in this moment and when Shosei woke up with a smile on his face, the brown haired one knew that the other members were wrong. There was no reason to be worried about them. As long as his door stayed closed, their perfect paradise wouldn’t be disturbed.
But once again Shosei had other plans. While the biggest and cutest gifts had been reserved for Sukai, he had also bought something for the other members – to Sukai’s disappointment.
“They don’t deserve it.”
“Why?”
“Yesterday Sho and Ren said we are not good for each other and that they are worried.”
While he was in a better mood overall, a part of Sukai was still bitter about the talk the day before. Shosei was good for him and they couldn’t understand their relationship.
“Why did they say that?”
“Because Takumi heard us fighting and Shion and Syoya also said something.”
“Is that so?” The smile that grazed Shosei’s face earlier left momentarily. “And what did you say?”
“That they have no idea about us.”
“Good.” The smile returned to the blonde one’s face who laid his arms around his boyfriend.
“Maybe they even want my angel for themselves.”
“I am no angel.” Shosei could say this a thousand times, but Sukai would never believe that. “They wouldn’t want me.”
“To me you are my angel.”
“So even if my angel self is nothing but a mirage, you will stay with me?”
“I could never leave you. I will always wait for you and be here for you.” Even if Shosei angered him thousand times in thousand different ways, Sukai could never leave. His dangerous sweetness was too addicting.
“You are so desperate, Sukai. But that’s what I like about you.” Suddenly, Shosei’s sweet smile had turned into something more wicked, a smile that was always reserved just for Sukai. “You would never leave, no matter what I do. I could ignore you a week long and you would still come back to me like a lost puppy.”
“But you would never do that.”
“As long as you behave.”