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Steve was late.
Which could only mean something was wrong, ‘cause Steven Grant Rogers was never late without a string of apologetic texts explaining the situation, and Tony’s phone had been silent all morning.
Steve was never late.
Tony let himself onto his floor, noticing quickly how dark it was. How nothing seemed touched or used from what Tony recognized as his morning routine.
He made his way to Steve's bedroom after calling out his name and hearing a muffled groan. He opened the door slowly and saw it was even darker than the rest of the floor. Dark enough that it felt more like midnight than noon.
“Taking a day off, are we?” Tony teased as he walked towards the bed, noticing Steve flinching and curling up tighter when Tony spoke. “Baby, what's wrong?” he asked as he climbed into bed next to Steve.
“Head,” was all Steve answered, quietly enough Tony almost missed it.
Tony tried to remember the last time anything might have hit Steve hard enough to cause this and he can't conjure up any such memory. “Do you have a headache?”
Steve nodded lightly, squeezing his eyes shut at the movement. “Feels like it might crack open from the pressure.”
Tony curled up around Steve, pulling him tight against his chest as gently as he could. Steve let himself be shuffled about, wrapping one arm loosely around Tony's waist in the process, the other tucked between their bodies.
“Did you try to take something?” Tony asked, knowing the answer already.
“Not like they put super soldier dosage on a bottle of ibuprofen,” Steve replied, almost bitterly.
“Tell me if this hurts more, okay? I can stop.” Tony started massaging Steve's scalp gently, pulling a soft sigh from him. He rubbed circles on Steve's temple adjusting the pressure until Steve told him it was just right. He dropped a soft kiss in Steve's hair.
“JARVIS, can you call Bruce and see if he has something that can take the edge off Steve’s migraine, please?” he asked quietly, knowing JARVIS would proceed even if he didn't reply. The fact that Steve didn't argue proved in just how much pain he likely was in.
They lay quietly for a while, lunch plans taking a back seat. Other than actual battle injuries, Tony had never had to take care of Steve in this capacity. He both kinda enjoyed it but also hated seeing Steve this way.
“What if it goes away?” Steve asked softly, and Tony wasn't sure what he was asking him and voiced as much. “The serum,” Steve replied even more softly.
“Oh.”
Tony had not expected that.
He had wondered how it may work as Steve aged. If the serum would ever not function as well or even just keep Steve in a perpetual state of youth. Would the serum function as seeing aging as a disease or ailment it needed to fight against? He had never voiced any of this out loud, not even to Bruce. He didn’t want Steve to feel like a science experiment – he already knew Howard had treated him that way much too often – and his scientific curiosity was not going to be the reason he lost the best thing that ever happened to him.
“What if,” Steve started again, slowly, softly. The words coming slow until by the end they were pouring out in rapid fire, “it stops working? No one knows if this has an expiry date. What if I get sick again and can’t heal anymore? What if it all goes away and I just go back to being me? All frail and fragile and a liability to everyone around me. What if I’m not Captain America anymore?”
“Shhhh, breath Steve.” Tony continued repeating the words until Steve seemed to have calmed enough that he'd hear what he had to say next.
“Sweetheart,” Tony murmured fondly placing a long kiss to Steve's forehead. “You are Captain America. Steve Rogers was always Captain America. For some reason, no one wanted to believe it until the outside matched the inside – which is wrong on so many levels.”
“That's not what you said-"
“Hey, no. We both agreed what we said on the carrier was fueled by the scepter. It wasn't real.” He repeated that last part a few times, trying to convince himself as much as Steve. He had always felt horrible about that, but they knew now it was all the scepter.
“One thing is real. No matter what happens, only you decide when you aren’t Cap anymore. Not the serum. Not Shield. Not the Avengers or even me, and we all know I have lots of opinions on things.” Steve chuckled and Tony kissed him again. “If you go back to looking like you did before the serum, I will build you a suit. I will make sure you get the best medical care there is. I will not let anything happen to you, whether you decide you still want to be Captain America or not, I will take care of you. I’ll always take care of you.”
Tony felt Steve's shoulders shift, a small sound that could have been a hiccup or a laugh escaping his lips. “You say that now, but you haven’t seen me without this body. I’m nothing to look at. You won't want to stay with me.” And that made Tony's heart break clean in two, especially when he realized the front of his shirt was getting wet with tears.
“I have watched the videos and seen the pictures. Trust me when I say, I wish I could have met you back then. Granted I don’t think the world could handle the two of us together when I was in my twenties and you before the serum, but I absolutely would have tried to get in your pants just as much. The muscley exterior is just a bonus, Steve, I promise. I love you – inside out, muscles or not.
“I love the man who cannot turn away from doing what's right. Who stands up for it, loud and proud. The man who can sit and sketch for hours on end. Who makes sure I eat and drink something that isn’t caffeine or take out 90% of the week. The man who loves me, regardless of everything I am or what I did in the past. That is not going to change, even if the chocolate coating changes. I’ll still love the gooey, good caramel centre that is you.”
“I love you too,” is all Steve answered moments later. Tony felt Steve press a kiss over his heart before snuggling in impossibly closer.
“Pardon the interruption, sir. Dr. Banner will be here within the next few minutes with something to alleviate Captain Rogers' pain.”
“Thanks J.” Tony resumed carding long agile fingers through Steve's hair. “We'll get you some meds, and if you want, we can run some tests later and see if we can figure out what's going. Or we can let this go as a one off, and I’ll spoil you and take care of you all day. And everyday after that, no matter what happens. No need to decide now, that taking care of you bit is happening regardless. I mean it Steve. I love you. You’re not getting rid of me that easy.”
“Don’t want you to go anywhere. Never,” Steve mumbled through a yawn.
Tony heard the door to Steve's floor open and he squeezed him one more time before letting go. “Let’s get you feeling better and you can rest, sweetheart. And don’t worry. We'll figure this one out. Together.”