Chapter Text
1.
it’s a mostly quiet - save for jay loudly bickering with sunghoon and jake over mario kart - night when heeseung asks ni-ki the first in a series of questions the elders have for him about sunoo. he doesn’t really understand why they’re so curious about his relationship with sunoo more than anyone else, but that’s a mystery for another time.
the current question ni-ki wanted answered is who in the world invented the process of washing dishes?
he and heeseung had lost this night’s round of rock paper scissors and no amount of aegyo could get any of his other hyungs to switch with him - the traitors. his aegyo had worked on heeseung when the elder asked if he would be okay with scrubbing the dishes while heeseung rinsed, so maybe it wasn’t entirely bad.
the two of them were just talking and joking, bonding while heeseung passed dish after dish to the younger. “can i ask you a question?” the older asked. ni-ki had opened his mouth to respond when heeseung cut him off. “and that wasn’t the question, so don’t say ‘you just did’ like you usually do.”
ni-ki laughed and responded “i wasn’t going to say that!” you know, like a liar.
“sure you weren’t. but also i just want you to know that you can tell me anything, okay? you don’t have to, but i just wanted you to know.”
he might only be 14, but he had enough life experience to know that this could be a really personal question. even knowing that, he trusted his hyung enough to not make him feel uncomfortable, so he nodded in a way he hoped seem nonchalant.
“why do you always go to sleep in sunoo’s bed?” heeseung asked.
why did ni-ki sleep in sunoo’s bed when he was perfectly capable of sleeping in his own bed? he never really considered the why aspect - he just knew he had the urge to climb into sunoo’s bunk one night, and the older never said anything to him. and if sunoo didn’t have a problem with it, ni-ki saw no reason to sleep alone when he could not do that.
“i dunno, hyung.” ni-ki answered, shrugging. in all honesty, he didn’t know why heeseung made such a big build up to the question either. it seemed as harmless as asking why ni-ki preferred sleeping on his back over his side or stomach.
heeseung smirked a bit, but his face dropped when he saw ni-ki looking slightly confused. “wait, you really don’t know?”
“i guess i’ve never really thought about it. but sunoo hasn’t told me to stop. did he say something to you?”
heeseung shook his head, considered his next words. “i just thought you’d have a reason. like maybe you get homesick or you just feel more comfortable with him.”
“i do get homesick,” ni-ki looked down, suddenly very interested in the water dripping off of the plate he just rinsed. “but i don’t think that’s why. and sunoo-hyung does make me feel comfortable, but all of you do.”
ruffling the younger’s hair, heeseung dries his hand on the towel, finished with his part of the dishes. “in that case, why don’t you sleep with someone else on occasion? i’m sure the others won’t mind either. just maybe ask them first.”
ni-ki nods, not quite hating the idea. suddenly he drops the plate he was rinsing, causing heeseung to flinch. he excitedly turns toward the older, a teasing smile on his face. “are you jealous that i sleep with sunoo-hyung and not you? i can sleep in your bed tonight, not a problem.”
“i’m not jealous. but sure, you can sleep with me tonight.” heeseung walked out of the kitchen, leaving ni-ki to wonder why his hyung gave him such a weird look.
true to his word, ni-ki does fall asleep in heeseung’s bed. the other members (minus sunoo, who was wrapped up in a drama he was watching on his phone) shot ni-ki weird looks but he ignored them in favor of clinging onto heeseung to make his jealousy go away.
he doesn’t see the texts heeseung sends to jungwon who’s huddled up with jake and sunghoon, all of them dying to know how heeseung’s conversation with the youngest went.
and if ni-ki somehow wakes up in sunoo’s bed with no memory of how he got there, no one mentions it in the morning.
2.
even though the seven boys spent most of their time together, they still had some privacy. they never touched each other’s personal belongings without permission, never read each other’s messages, and always always asked before even checking the time on someone else’s phone.
although there wasn’t much need for these rules in ni-ki’s case, he’s grateful for at least some semblance of normalcy. because yeah, all of them were fans of different artists, both k-pop and not, but no one needed to see just how many bts fancams were in his youtube history.
that’s beside the point. the point here is that when they do need to use each other’s phone, it’s very rare. it only happens when they’re taking pictures or when-
“jay hyung, ni-ki,” sunoo whined cutely as he walked into the living room where said boys were watching anime. the two of them were the main ones who enjoyed it, and watching with korean subtitles helped jay to build his japanese skills and ni-ki with reading korean - it’s a win-win situation. “jungwon took my phone and hid it somewhere in the bedroom but he left to do leader things and i don’t want to go through everyone’s stuff to find it. can one of you call it? the volume is on so i should be able to hear it.” he sounds so adorable when he’s whining that ni-ki almost wants to say no just to tease him more.
“i left my phone somewhere in the room too, sorry,” jay answers, eyes hardly looking up from the screen.
“you can use my phone, hyung,” ni-ki offers, gesturing to where it is plugged into the wall.
sunoo goes to pick it up before he pauses. “wait. you know i can’t read japanese,” he pouts even harder.
ni-ki rubs the back of his neck. “i forgot about that part.”
“can i do it? i want to see how much i’ve actually learned.” jay finally grabs the remote to pause the show, allowing the pair to devote their attention to the pouting boy in front of them.
the youngest boy nods, watching as sunoo passes the phone over jay and looks over his shoulder as he navigates through the phone, reading the words out loud. ni-ki only has to correct him once, which they both see as an accomplishment.
when sunoo’s phone starts ringing, he darts over to the bedroom and ni-ki hears a bit of shuffling before sunoo answers the call with a quick “thanks” and then hangs up.
jay hands the phone to ni-ki who checks the time quickly - 6p.m. his lockscreen of bts reads- and settles in closer to jay to finish up the episode.
when the episode is done, jay asks ni-ki to have a conversation with him in japanese as practice. as much as he loves living in korea, he misses being able to use his native language freely so he quickly agrees.
the conversation starts off innocent enough, but then question two comes out. “why is sunoo the only one who’s saved with a heart in your contacts? i’m a little offended,” jay jokes.
“i just save everyone with what comes to mind when i think of them. that’s why jake-hyung has a puppy emoji, sunghoon-hyung as an ice cube and a crown, and you have a cheeseburger. because you’re american.”
“there’s more to me than being american, brat.” jay scolds but he’s never serious. all of the hyungs let ni-ki get away with a lot because of how cute he is. “at least give me something cool like you gave jungwon! You gave him a bunch of flowers.”
The younger laughed it off, picking up his phone so he can edit jay’s contact name to his liking. “his name means garden, what else was i supposed to do?”
jay takes the phone to insert emojis himself, since he doesn’t trust the younger to do him any justice. “so what you’re saying is when you think of sunoo, you think of heart emojis?”
“and the sun emoji. pretty much any emoji that can be seen as cute. sunoo-hyung is so full of love and positive energy, it’s kind of a no brainer.”
“maybe you just love sunoo more than the rest of us.”
ni-ki scoffs at that, slightly worried that jay genuinely believed that. “i love all of you guys.”
and it’s true - ni-ki doesn’t think he could’ve wished for a better team to be by his side for a long time.
“i know, ni-ki. i’m just teasing you.” he hands ni-ki’s phone back, satisfied with the fire and red 100 emojis he added to his contact name.
when jay goes to bed a few hours later, he’s a little surprised to see ni-ki in his bed. he figures he could go to sleep in ni-ki’s bed, but if ni-ki wanted to sleep alone he probably would’ve done that himself, right?
lying next to the sleeping boy, he notices the younger left his phone unlocked, probably having fallen asleep while holding it. like any good hyung would do, jay goes to lock it and put it on the charger when he notices the homescreen. it was a picture that ni-ki had taken of sunoo with a digital camera, face scrunched up in a smile holding up a peace sign. he hadn’t seen it earlier, considering he was too focused on reading the japanese characters, but he hoped for the whole teams sake that ni-ki realized how whipped he is for sunoo - after all having two extremely oblivious people in the group just sounded like a recipe for disaster.
3.
no matter how hard dance practice is, it’s usually ni-ki’s favorite part of the day. sure he sweats a lot and he does get slightly annoyed that his hyungs don’t pick things up as quickly as he does, but he tries to never let it show. they’re all trying their hardest and that makes him feel a little better, so he lets them be.
plus - and he doesn’t really like to admit it - he loves nothing more than hearing his hyungs praise him for his skills. ni-ki dances because he loves it, but he also loves hearing everyone complimenting him.
that’s partially why ni-ki has a hard time knowing when he should stop practicing. as enhypen’s dance leader, he’s in charge of making sure everyone is on the same page when it comes to their performances. it’s important for him to make sure that everyone is doing their best, and he knows that practicing is the only way to do it.
“ni-ki, can’t we take a break?” sunoo asks, dramatically collapsing on the floor. ni-ki checks the clock and sees that the seven of them have been going at it for a good hour and a half with only a few short water breaks in between. he mentally evaluates each member and decided that it won’t hurt, so he silently nods before going to get two water bottles. wordlessly dropping one of them next to sunoo, he walks away to sit against one of the walls and evaluate their practice since he had been recording.
he was in the middle of his third rewatch and making a mental note that they were slightly out of sync during the bridge when he felt someone slide down the wall next to him. ni-ki looks up to see none other than jake, smiling in the way that he usually does. it’s not surprising that the fans call him a puppy.
ni-ki has always appreciated jake’s company, having been one of the first people he got close to on i-land. not for the first time, ni-ki thinks about how much he loves who the fans chose to be in the group.
looking up, ni-ki sees that that heeseung, jay, and sunghoon were having a conversation about something while jungwon and sunoo were lying on the floor next to each other taking selfies on sunoo’s phone. sunoo has always been able to take really good selfies, probably because he’s just naturally pretty like that. and jungwon is one of the cutest people he knows, so he thinks if they decide to post them on sns that engenes would have a heart attack.
“you’re staring,” he hears from beside him. he looks at jake who’s already looking at him. he feels like he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t - which doesn’t make sense, because he knows that every member of his group has thoughts about how pretty sunoo is before.
“is that bad?”
“nope. but anyway i had a question for you.” ni-ki assumed it would somehow be related to the dance practice they were currently in the middle of, but instead it was Sunoo Related yet again. “why do you always take a break when sunoo says he’s tired but the rest of us have to ask a bunch of times. that’s favoritism.” jake is pouting, and ni-ki knows better than to take him seriously.
ni-ki considers it seriously for a few seconds. he doesn’t think he favors sunoo over the others, but then again he could be wrong. “sunoo hyung has health issues so we have to make sure he doesn’t get overworked.” and while it is true, he doesn’t think it’s the main reason he never puts up a fight. it might have something to do with saying no to sunoo feeling like a crime, though.
“as expected of our dance leader,” jake ruffles his hair playfully and ni-ki forces himself to swat the hand away. he has to pretend to be annoyed at the very least.
as retaliation, ni-ki moves so his head is in jake’s lap, forcing him to stay there and also play with his hair. “did you just want to tease me?”
“my genuine question was about your bias toward sunoo, i promise.”
“maybe it’s because sunoo doesn’t tease me on purpose.”
jake laughs, nodding his head. “maybe. but what about how you only listen to him when he tells you to stop practicing on your own?”
and that question had an obvious answer. he definitely knew why the others had to ask him multiple times compared to sunoo’s just once. ni-ki also thinks the other members have picked up on it and have started to send sunoo whenever they needed to, instead of trying to argue with ni-ki themselves.
“sunoo hyung threatened to not cuddle with me when i don’t listen to him,” he says as quietly as possible. jake’s resulting giggle is enough for ni-ki to know that he heard him, at least. the younger also doesn’t know if sunoo would actually go through with the threat, but he also didn’t want to test it. nishimura riki needs (multiple) daily cuddles and he’s not afraid to admit it.
“are you saying that if the rest of us tried to do the same thing, you’d listen to us?”
ni-ki knows he’s just teasing him, so he thinks about it. for one, the only members who are comfortable with physical affection like that are sunoo and jungwon, sometimes jake. jay, heeseung, and sunghoon will hug him every once in a while but not often. he’s okay with that, though - he knows everyone has different love languages.
“nope.”
“i see,” jake says as if he knows something ni-ki doesn’t. but these sunoo questioning days always end the same way, and today’s no exception.
“let’s get started!” jungwon jumps up from his spot on the floor, reaching down to help sunoo off the floor. the older groans but allows it to happen anyway. the seven of them continue practicing and ni-ki forgets to ask jake what he was talking about.
4.
with seven boys in one dorm, it can be hard to separate their clothes sometimes. for the most part, they all have their own style like jake’s addiction to flannels, but sometimes it overlaps and it can get chaotic.
and then they mostly wear each other’s clothes anyway, so it doesn’t even matter in the first place. no one really had a problem with sharing except for heeseung, but they all agreed he was just pretending because he likes to tease the other members.
ni-ki personally didn’t mind who wore his clothes - with the exception of the hanboks he got from jungkook which were off limits and everyone knew that. it was rare that they did, because of the style thing from earlier.
the only exception - which seemed to be a common theme with ni-ki - was sunoo. sunoo wore his clothes more often than the other members just like ni-ki wore his clothes more than the others. jungwon wore everyone’s clothes an equal amount, claiming it was how he let them know he didn’t have a favorite, even though that was a lie and even ni-ki knew it.
the boys were getting ready to go out for a bit of fun on their free day, excited to leave their dorm to go somewhere other than the company building. ni-ki and sunghoon were the first two ready meaning they had to wait who knows how long for the resident fashionistas jay and sunoo to get ready.
the two of them sat at the kitchen table to stay out of everyone’s way since they were fluttering about getting ready. occasionally someone would make their way to the kitchen to find a stray coat (heeseung) or just wander in aimlessly looking confused (jake).
and then there was sunoo, going to the sink to wash his hands and grumbling the whole time about someone taking too long in the bathroom. ni-ki looked up at the sound of sunoo’s voice, watching him from under his bangs. he was initially just distracted because sunoo was easily the prettiest hyung he had, but then he realized sunoo was wearing the pink hanbok he had received from his sunbae, which distracted him more.
“ni-ki pay attention! we’re gonna lose,” ni-ki looked back in time to see the game over screen appear on his phone. he looked up to give sunghoon an apologetic look, but his hyung had already followed ni-kis gaze to see the reason for his distraction.
cue question number four. they both watched sunoo as he walked out of the kitchen, having not heard what was going on because he had headphones in. after he was out of sight, ni-ki turned toward sunghoon who was already looking at him.
“are you going to say something to him?” sunghoon had a playful smile on his face that made ni-ki feel a little embarrassed, so he looked down at his phone.
he also decided to pretend like he had no idea what sunghoon was talking about. “what do you mean?”
the older boy chuckled, although ni-ki didn’t think there was anything funny. “you never let us wear those but you didn’t say anything to sunoo just now.”
“he had his headphones in,” ni-ki knew his excuse was weak, but he hoped sunghoon didn’t pick up on it.
unfortunately, he wasn’t so lucky. “i’m sure if it were anyone else, you would’ve made sure to say something.” and he was right. the last time jungwon so much as asked to wear one, ni-ki very kindly explained that he didn’t want to share them as they held sentimental value to him. they had all understood and never really asked again, so this hasn’t been a problem before.
“sunoo hyung looks nice,” ni-ki shrugged, voice small. he felt sunghoon’s hand ruffling his hair, something all of the members knew he liked. “don’t get me wrong, sunghoon hyung. i think all of you are very good-looking, you know? but there’s something… different.”
at that moment, jake came in to get a water bottle, sending a smile in the two boys’ direction before walking out. sunghoon followed the movement with his eyes. “yeah, i know what you mean. do you think sunoo is the best visual wise out of all of us? and don’t worry, what we talk about here stays between us if you want.”
ni-ki nods, contemplating his answer. “i think… i think that depends. because if i think of someone handsome, i think of you. when it comes to cute, i think of jungwon.”
“what word comes to mind when you think of sunoo?”
he’s not sure why, but he feels a little hesitant to share the word with his hyung, even though he knows none of them would ever judge him. he starts twisting his phone in his hands when he finally mumbles the word out loud.
“what was that?” sunghoon leaned in, attempting to hear ni-ki better.
“pretty. the first word i think of is pretty.” it’s followed very closely by beautiful and any other synonym for the word in ni-ki’s mind.
sunghoon smiles, squeezing one of ni-ki’s hands gently. “i think so, too. but i also think we might have different reasonings.”
“what do you mean?” ni-ki looks up, confused. sunghoon looks like he’s about to say something when sunoo comes into the kitchen again, no longer wearing the hanbok.
“everyone is ready, so we’re leaving now!” he exclaims excitedly. sunghoon gives ni-ki’s hair one last ruffle before he stands, leaving ni-ki to wonder what he meant by the last statement.
he also wondered why his heart felt weird seeing that sunoo had changed.
5.
ni-ki’s favorite things on the planet were as follows: dancing, music, and sleeping. not in any particular order, of course.
after a long day of work, ni-ki often napped to recuperate some of his energy after dinner, and he still had no problems sleeping at night. his members had been worried a bit at first, but they’ve all grown used to it by now.
he woke up from his nap randomly, something that happened often when he slept alone. he checked his phone and confirmed that he had only slept for about an hour, but he stayed in bed for a few minutes longer to wake up fully. he could hear a movie playing in the living room, and from the sound of it, he assumed sunoo was in there.
ni-ki got out of bed and stretched, making his way to the living room. he was greeted by the sight of jungwon and sunoo, both in their pajamas watching lilo and stitch on opposite ends of the couch.
neither of them acknowledged him which was okay, so he made his way over to where sunoo was lying and flopped himself down on top of him. sunoo made a small “oof” sound at the unexpected weight, but he didn’t say anything else. ni-ki shuffled a bit until his back was to sunoo’s chest.
ni-ki looked up to see jungwon still distracted by the movie, so he grabbed sunoo’s hand, playing with his fingers. he was amazed at the difference in their hands, sunoo’s hands being smaller and slightly stubbier than ni-ki’s long slender ones. even with their differences, sunoo’s fingers seemed to fit pretty snugly between ni-ki’s.
suddenly, he had the weird feeling that someone was watching him, so he looked up and made eye contact with jungwon.
the thing about jungwon is, he’s picked up a lot of skills and habits since being dubbed leader. he’s learned how to mediate when there’s conflict and how to lead the group in a way that felt natural despite him being second youngest. worst (maybe best?) of all, he’s learned how to read the members. it’s a good trait when ni-ki wants to ask for advice but he isn’t sure how to do it, but currently it’s not a good thing. jungwon is staring at ni-ki, seemingly searching for something. what exactly he’s looking for, ni-ki doesn’t know.
he breaks eye contact first, looking up to the tv as if he were actually interested in seeing lilo try to teach stitch how to behave like elvis presley - which he genuinely was the first hundred times sunoo had watched the movie.
ni-ki waited a bit to go back to the room, trying not to alert jungwon that something was wrong. he almost forgot his and sunoo’s hands were still intertwined when he finally got up until he felt the warmth slowly leave.
fifteen minutes and a few txt fancams later, jungwon also made his way to the room. he crawled into ni-ki’s bed with him, staring straight up at the top bunk. neither boy said anything for a while, content to just enjoy each other’s company. the youngest had almost forgotten the weird look jungwon had given him earlier and relaxed a bit.
almost. “sunoo hyung is waiting for the other hyungs to come back so we can watch a movie together. do you want to join us?”
“have you decided on a movie yet?”
jungwon shook his head. “if we don’t decide together, sunghoon and sunoo will start bickering again so i told him to wait.”
ni-ki nodded in confirmation. he mimicked jungwon’s position,staring up at nothing. the only light in the room came from the open door letting the hallway light shine in.
“did you know that sunghoon hyung and jake hyung have a crush on each other?”
ni-ki can’t say that he did. he also had no idea why jungwon would bring it up so randomly, but he also wasn’t willing to ask. instead, he shook his head to answer jungwon’s question.
jungwon nodded, continuing. “it’s a little annoying, if you ask me. they keep calling themselves best friends and then looking like they want to kiss the next. i don’t think they’ve actually talked about it, though. hopefully we don’t have to deal with it for too long.”
ni-ki turned to look at jungwon, hoping his face will give him some clarity. “how do you know they like each other?”
“isn’t it obvious?” no, it wasn’t - at least not to ni-ki. he waited for jungwon to continue. “well for one, they’re always clinging to each other. and i know that we’re all like that with each other, but with those two it’s a little different. and then you have to consider the fact that they’re always talking about how they were meant to meet each other and how well they get along. going out of their way to be a little nicer to each other than everyone else.”
none of this sounded like romance material to ni-ki, but he also didn’t have much experience in that department. it honestly sounded lie jungwon could’ve been describing sunoo and ni-ki’s friendship.
“i think the most obvious thing is the way they look at each other when they think no one is looking. it reminds me of romance movies and dramas where the main couple locks eyes. very cliche and unnecessarily dramatic.”
ni-ki takes a second to digest what jungwon had just said. the only thing that really made sense to him was the romance movie part, but he’s never seen them share That Look before. maybe it had something to do with the part where jungwon said they think no one is looking.
of course, he’s young but not entirely naive - he knows that jake and sunghoon’s relationship was different, but he always assumed it was a best friend and not a romance thing.
“hyung… i’m still not sure i understand. what you’re describing sounds a lot like friendship to me.”
jungwon considers for a moment, trying to figure out how best to explain it. “i think it’s easier to notice if you’ve had a crush before,” jungwon begins. ni-ki understands that, at least. he thinks of how it’s easier to tell what each of his hyungs love languages are after paying attention to their behaviors.
“how do you know if you have a crush?” ni-ki asks, even though he already kind of knows. he just wants to see if jungwon’s definition is any different.
jungwon smiles at ni-ki and runs his fingers through his hair. did ni-ki mention he loved when his hyungs did that? “for one, you want to be around them a lot. maybe you want to kiss them sometimes or hold their hand but in a way that doesn’t feel like friendship. sometimes your heart will speed up when they’re around or you find yourself looking at them a lot. there’s a lot more signs, but these are the main ones.”
and, well, ni-ki has definite first-hand experience with most of those things. but he doesn’t really know what that means, either.
“but i’ve felt some of those things before… those aren’t friendship things?”
“nope.”
"so what you're telling me is that this isn't normal?"
"it really isn't, ni-ki."
"you… don't think about cuddling and kissing your best friend? or like holding his hand while he wears your clothes because they look cuter on him than you?"
"no, i don't... would you want to kiss me?" jungwon has the audacity to laugh, like ni-ki’s confusion is funny.
"don't be gross, hyung."
"i would find that offensive under normal circumstances, but we'll ignore that for now. if you think you’ve felt that way about someone, what do you think that means?”
“i think…” ni-ki trailed off. jungwon only looked at ni-ki with a fond smile, waiting for him to elaborate.
"i feel like you're waiting for me to realize something but i'm gonna be honest, i really have no idea."
the older boy smiled again. “that’s okay, ni-ki. i’m sure you’ll realize one day.”
before ni-ki could ask any more questions, they could hear the front door open and the voices of their hyungs being as loud as ever. he thinks he hears sunoo and sunghoon arguing already, a record time for them.
jungwon climbs out of bed and reaches for ni-ki’s hand. “come on, let’s go. Maybe if we stop their bickering early, we’ll have time to actually watch a movie this time.”
+1
for some reason, the topic of crushes and romance came up again when all seven boys were in their living room one night. he trusted jungwon a lot, but he figured it wouldn't hurt to get input from the others as well. seeing as he didn’t have much to add, he kept quiet.
“i still find it hard to believe you’ve never dated anyone, jay hyung,” sunoo said.
“it isn’t that surprising, if you think about it,” jungwon said. “jay hyung doesn’t have a smooth bone in his body - he’s never had enough game to talk someone into dating him.”
jay throws a pillow at jungwon who ducks and then hides behind a giggling heeseung. “i do too! but you know how it is, when i got to the age where people usually start dating i decided to become a trainee. i didn’t really have time.”
“for what it’s worth, jay, i think you’re cool enough that a lot of people will want to date you,” ni-ki spoke up.
jay ruffled his hair before glaring at jungwon. “this is why ni-ki’s my favorite dongsaeng.”
“ni-ki is all of our favorite dongsaeng, jay” jake retorts from his spot lying on the floor with his head in sunghoon’s lap. they were playing one game or another online on their switches while ni-ki and sunoo hogged the tv playing music videos on youtube.
“i think we can all agree that heeseung is the one who’s the least likely to have flirting skills,” sunghoon speaks up. his statement is followed by a disgruntled yell and jake’s laughter, most likely due to the game. “he’s way too shy.”
“but i’ve had a girlfriend before,” heeseung’s quiet voice speaks up. the whole room turned silent except for twice’s i can’t stop me playing. The younger members were all in shock, even sunoo who had really only been dancing up until now stopped abruptly.
“what?!” jay screeched. ni-ki thinks he shouldn’t be too surprised, considering the amount of jokes they make about heeseung being the ace in everything. just the other day he was the ace of bottle flipping.
“we only dated for like a month but she broke up with me because i was too shy.” he nervously laughed when everyone else started to, thankful for the ease in tension.
“that makes a lot of sense, actually” jay says. ni-ki can see it, too. it took them a little bit longer to get close to each other due to both of them being introverted. “so, wait. how many of you guys have dated before?”
besides heeseung who had already shared, the only other members to raise their hand were sunghoon, jake, and sunoo.
he’s a little surprised to see that jungwon didn’t raise his hand, but he supposes given their small age difference, it shouldn’t be that weird. both sunghoon and jake made sense to ni-ki, too. he thinks they’re both really attractive and have a great personality.
not that sunoo having dated didn’t make sense to him, for reasons he’s already shared. it’s just that gaining that knowledge made him feel… different. but he couldn’t pinpoint or name the feeling so he tried to ignore it.
thankfully, the topic was dropped after a few more minutes and the tight feeling in ni-ki’s chest loosened up a little bit. he still stayed quiet, mostly, content to ponder why he had such a strong reaction.
a few hours later, most of his hyungs had left the living room. sunghoon and jake roped jay into having a late night snack and then playing mario kart with them in the kitchen, claiming it was necessary 02 line bonding time. jungwon and heeseung decided to sleep, threatening the 02z to stay quiet or else they’d be woken up extra early.
that left ni-ki and sunoo in the living room, ni-ki scrolling through his phone with his head in sunoo’s lap while he watched a movie. sunoo’s hand absentmindedly running through his hair, making ni-ki feel relaxed. he’s still thinking about the conversation from earlier, trying to put a name to the feeling he had when sunoo raised his hand. remembering the conversation he had with jungwon a few nights ago, he realized.
“sometimes having a crush can come with negative feelings,” jungwon explains. “there are a lot of good things, but then there are things like feelings of inadequacy or even jealousy. seeing that person with someone else or even just seeing other couples and wishing it were you guys instead.”
seeing that person with someone else…
ni-ki tried to imagine sunoo dating someone, holding their hand and kissing them and - the unpleasant feeling in his chest comes back - oh.
before he could stop himself, ni-ki was sitting up and blurting it out to his face. "oh my god, sunoo hyung. i have a crush on you."
his sudden confession was met with silence, but sunoo had the most endeared smile on his face. "are you just figuring that out, ni-ki?"
normally, ni-ki thinks he'd be embarrassed by a situation like this. instead, he's focused on how cute sunoo's laugh is and the adorable way he covers his mouth with his sweater-covered hand. he’s also kind of wondering how he hadn’t realized sooner, considering this was his normal thought process when it came to sunoo doing just about anything.
"well, yeah… back in japan, i never really thought about romance or anything. i mean i'm not even 15 yet, you know?"
"it's okay, ni-ki! we kind of figured you were either oblivious or just too shy to say something." sunoo eased the younger's head back into his lap, running his hands through his hair to help calm him down.
"what do you mean by 'we' - oh my god did everyone already know?" ni-ki covers his face with his hands, feels his cheeks burn in embarrassment.
sunoo chuckles, his free hand coming up to hold ni-ki's wrist gently. "sweetheart, you're kind of obvious."
and maybe ni-ki should have been focusing on the fact that his crush is so obvious, but his heart decided to perform a full acrobatics routine when it heard the pet name coming from sunoo's mouth.
“this is so embarrassing,” ni-ki whined, attempting to roll over and bury his face in sunoo’s stomach. “you must think i’m lame now. oh my god this must be why all of the other hyungs are giving me weird looks when you’re around!”
“i’m sorry, ni-ki. i keep telling them to leave you alone, but you know how excited they can get…”
“i’m not upset, i guess. especially not with you, because i don’t doubt you’ve asked them to back off. but i am embarrassed, i really didn’t mean to just blurt it out to you like that so i think i’m going to go to sleep and hope we both forget about this when i wake up.”
ni-ki stood from the couch, attempting to quickly remove himself from the situation. in all honesty, he didn’t even want to know if sunoo liked him back - sunoo deserved someone who had enough experience in romance to treat him the way he deserved, and 14 year old never-dated-anyone ni-ki is definitely not qualified for any of that.
he barely made it two steps before he felt sunoo grab his wrist, making him pause his movements. “riki,” sunoo called his name, voice as soft as ever. trust the one and only kim sunoo to call ni-ki by his real name, making his heart flutter more than it should.
ni-ki slowly turned around against his own wishes - but he’s never really been able to tell sunoo no, and he wasn’t about to start now, embarrassment and all.
“don’t you want to know how i feel?” his eyes twinkled in the lighting of their dorm living room, looking as beautiful as ever. ni-ki doesn’t know if he’ll ever get used to the butterflies fluttering around his stomach when he looks at the older.
ni-ki slightly turns away, though he readjusts their hands so that their fingers are interlocked instead, hoping that sunoo understands he isn’t upset with him - not that sunoo needs the reassurance since he usually knows what he’s feeling even before ni-ki does sometimes. “i would love to, hyung, but maybe not right now? i don’t think i can handle it at the moment, no matter if it’s good or bad.”
the elder gently tugs ni-ki’s hand so that he faces him again, says “okay” before kissing his cheek. “have a good night, riki.”
and if ni-ki stood in the living room a few seconds longer to process what just happened, neither of them said anything about it.
-------
ni-ki couldn’t sleep. he hadn’t been trying for long, but how could he focus when the only thing on his mind was sunoo kissing him on the cheek and then calling him by his real name? if this were a video game - which he understands slightly better than romance - that combination would be enough to k.o the opponent.
he really wants to get advice from jungwon, but said boy is sleeping so he couldn't do that. his next choice would be jake, but it would be weird to ask him when he's with sunghoon and jay since they'd probably want to know what ni-ki wanted to talk about and he wasn't sure he was willing to share with all of them just yet.
ni-ki decided to gather his thoughts first before deciding on a course of action. first of all, he definitely has had a crush on sunoo for longer than he’s realized. even their first ever meeting ni-ki thought sunoo was one of the prettiest people he’s ever seen, but he didn’t think it meant much at the time considering the sheer amount of attractive people he met the same day.
second, he tried to figure out if sunoo felt the same way based on his actions. sunoo does let ni-ki sleep with him, but maybe he does that because he’s the youngest? and he lets ni-ki cling onto him at any moment but maybe that doesn’t mean anything, either… the only thing he couldn’t blame on his status as the youngest was the kiss sunoo had planted on his cheek just an hour earlier.
the last thing ni-ki took into consideration was the fact that the whole group had apparently noticed his crush on sunoo, including said boy, but no one has said anything. if the dramas sunoo watches and ni-ki pretended to not care about meant anything, wouldn’t sunoo have said something if he felt the same?
ni-ki realizes he won’t get any answers without talking to sunoo first, and he probably won’t be able to sleep until he gets answers. his stomach churns in his nervousness, but he’s determined to not let it get to him.
taking a few deep breaths, he quietly makes his way back to the living room. he can hear the hushed voices of jake and sunghoon laughing at something jay says, and his nerves calm a little. he knows no matter what happens, he’ll always have all of his hyungs to help guide him.
he slows down closer to the living room, peeking in to see sunoo sleeping while a movie is still playing in the background.
he takes a moment to just watch him, hoping it isn’t a weird thing to do. his hyung is just so pretty - the way his hair falls around his forehead or the smile that’s still noticeable even in his sleep or the roundness of his cheeks that suit him so well.
ni-ki thinks that if they can’t talk tonight, he might as well try to sleep. he carefully makes his way to the couch, lying on top of sunoo again but this time with his chest on sunoo’s stomach. sunoo doesn’t usually wake up when he climbs into his bed, so he thinks he’s safe for now.
“ni-ki?” came the voice that the youngest had grown to love. he sounded a little rough from sleep, but ni-ki still appreciated it all the same.
“sorry, hyung. i didn’t mean to wake you… but i couldn’t sleep.” sunoo strokes ni-ki’s hair, the younger snuggling closer to his hyung. the elder chuckles a little, always endeared by ni-ki’s love of someone playing with his hair.
it’s quiet between the two of them for a few minutes, but there’s no tension in the air. ni-ki thinks he’d be okay sleeping here and having to deal with the endless teasing from the others in the morning.
“we probably shouldn’t sleep in here,” sunoo says, breaking the silence. although he disagrees, ni-ki has never really been one to not listen to his hyung so he slowly extracts himself from sunoo.
when sunoo also makes a move to sit up, ni-ki decides that it’s probably easier to get the conversation with now, since it was his original plan.
“hyung?” he starts. sunoo is looking at him, directly into his eyes before ni-ki looks down. “can we… talk about earlier?” he chances a glance back up and sees sunoo smile and nod, hand reaching to give ni-ki’s a comforting squeeze.
“i guess what i really want to know is if you like me back? and i’d be okay if you didn’t as long as you promise not to treat me any different. I really don’t want this to change things between us.” ni-ki’s heart is pounding in his chest and he’s honestly surprised he was able to get everything out without stuttering.
nothing happens for a few seconds, and ni-ki is too nervous to look at sunoo’s face. he meant it when he said he didn’t mind having his feelings be unrequited, but he just wanted an answer so he could actually sleep tonight.
“during the final, i was so happy when you were announced as the second member. the more everyone else was announced, the more anxious i got. when it came to the producer’s pick, i honestly wasn’t sure if it would be me. considering how talented everyone else was…”
sunoo has never really talked in depth about how it felt to be chosen as the final member, and ni-ki didn’t ask. he knows how it feels to be at the bottom of the rankings, and he hated that bright, cheery sunoo had to go through that.
“of course i was nervous about not being able to debut, since that was the whole goal. a smaller part of me was worried about not seeing you guys again, since i had grown so attached to you all. especially you, though.” ni-ki’s heart beat even faster, and he finally looked directly at sunoo, eyes locking. “i think that’s when i realized.”
more silence. ni-ki’s brain needed a second to process everything sunoo just said and then - he couldn’t control the smile that spread across his face. he didn’t think it was possible to name all of the feelings going through him, the way he was suddenly filled with so much energy.
sunoo smiled back, and ni-ki really didn’t think he could call sunoo pretty enough times to accurately describe him. it’ll just get harder the older sunoo gets, he thinks.
“really?” and maybe ni-ki could’ve been smoother with his approach, but sunoo didn’t seem to mind and just squeezed his hand again.
“really. and i don’t know when exactly i realized you felt the same, but seeing as you didn’t actually know how you felt, i didn’t think there was a point in telling you. i would’ve been okay to wait until you figured it out.”
“i’m still a little embarrassed by that..” scratching the back of his head, ni-ki averts his eyes. as much as he is, though, he doesn’t think that can cancel out the happiness he feels in this moment, sitting on the couch with his favorite hyung at 1 a.m. when they have a schedule tomorrow. “but where do we go from here?”
sunoo looks thoughtful for a second, but continues anyway. “i’ve thought about it before, when the others first started to tease us. and i know you claim you don’t like being babied, but please hear me out.”
ni-ki isn’t sure if it’s a good or a bad thing, but he considers sunoo’s fingers still being laced with his as a win.
“since you’re still so young,” ni-ki visibly deflates at that, earning him a cute giggle from sunoo. “i know, i know. i just want to give you a little more time to adjust to being an idol before we make any decisions, you know? i’m definitely not saying nothing will come out of this, but i don’t want to rush into things. we’re going to be around each other for long enough that we have the time to spare, so let’s just see where things go, okay?”
ni-ki definitely understands where sunoo is coming from, but that doesn’t mean he likes it. or that he won’t complain about it. “hyung, you’re only like 3 years older than me! i’m not a baby.” he pouts.
“i know, riki.” ni-ki is a simple boy - sunoo calls him by his name and he forgets why he was upset momentarily. “but you’re also 14. there’s more stress involved with being an idol than a regular person your age would face, so we have to be a little more careful.”
the more he thinks about it, the more ni-ki realizes sunoo is right. on top of the stress and packed schedule, ni-ki wants to make sure he’s able to date sunoo properly when they finally decide to take that step. he thinks his feelings will only grow with time, anyway.
“you’re right. plus i want to be the best boyfriend for you, which i don’t think i’m ready just yet. i’m nervous that the time will change your mind about me.” the younger is grateful that they both decided to ignore how we stuttered over the word boyfriend.
“i doubt they will, riki. plus with how busy we are, i doubt it’ll be super noticeable.” the days already blur together, so he doesn’t doubt it. in a way, he’s grateful that sunoo has been so reasonable in this situation. he’s also excited to start looking into how to be a good boyfriend so he can sweep sunoo off of his feet when the time comes.
“does this mean we can’t share a bed and cuddle anymore?” ni-ki asks, eyes full of hope.
sunoo stands from the couch, reaching pulling ni-ki with him before he turns off the tv. “of course not, silly. let’s go to bed so jungwon doesn’t get mad at us in the morning.”
the pair silently make their way to the bedroom, sunoo making a pit stop in the bathroom to do his night routine. when he finally goes in the room, he’s not surprised but endeared all the same to find ni-ki in his bed.
he carefully lies down, trying not to make too much noise and wake someone up. “good night, ni-ki.” he whispers.
“good night, hyung.” ni-ki responds. they both smile after ni-ki quickly kisses sunoo’s cheek, before they drift off.