Chapter Text
Poppop Ffaygo wasn't a young man any more. In fact, even for a purpleblood, he was an old man. Trolls didn't usually die of old age, but he was an exception, as the producer of one of the Empire's greatest commodities: Faygo.
Truth be told, Faygo wasn't hard to make. It was all just sugar and artificial flavoring as well as carbonated water, but the immense demand for Poppop's soporific of choice meant that the beverage had to be manufactured in large factories dotting Alternia.
CHERIE: <8 Are yoou ready, yoou oold geezer?
Poppop waved Cherie away.
POPPOP: off course i'm ready. i've giffen these tours all the time.
Cherie rolled her eyes, shutting the door behind her.
Poppop, besides being the innovator responsible for Faygo, also loved giving tours of his facility. Every first day of the perigee, he'd take the few dozen trolls who were selected by finding the Golden Coins underneath the Faygo bottle caps on a tour of his factory. Much like his candy-manufacturing ancestor, Willie Wonkah, but with much less macabre adolescent death.
Today, however, he didn't feel well. He stared at himself in the mirror, sighing, running a hand over his heavily made-up face, feeling the wrinkles of chitinous troll-flesh.
POPPOP: cherie?
Poppop called out weakly from his room. Cherie popped her head in again. She wasn't his receptionist or assistant or anything, she was just the source for all of his sugar who liked hanging around him for whatever reason.
POPPOP: i think maybe... i'll let someone else to the tour today.
Cherie blinked in surprise, but nodded curtly before slipping away.
===
Moooon Misste gazed with glowing, excited eyes up at the factory. It was so... BIG. Massive. Gargantuan. It was bigger than she'd seen in the posters, bigger than the descriptions she'd heard, bigger than her imagination had cooked up! In lights, on the side of the building, the curling letters spelled out "FAYGO" in neon, in letters ten times as tall as Moooon.
For all of her seven sweeps on Alternia, Moooon had two dreams. The first was to blow up the green moon that hung over their heads, and the close second was, of course, being fulfilled this very day:
Meeting her idol, Poppop Ffaygo.
She never knew why she was so drawn to him. It's not like he was charismatic. On the contrary, the coughing, doddering little man was as outwardly repugnant as any clown-troll and then some, interviewers and close friends commenting on his saccharine, artificial odor. It was magnetic, though, like it was her destiny to meet him. He wasn't even her ancestor or anything, he was purple and she was- Well.
Best not to divulge that. Never know who's listening.
She loved his sodas, too. She loved all fizzy beverages, of course, but Faygo most of all. An odd quirk in her biology meant that she didn't get intoxicated by the stuff, either, which meant she could drink it to her heart's content!
MOOOON: Oo < sO basically, in sweep 406, ffaygO Opened the first factOry right here and was nearly unable tO keep up with demand. prObably because Of all the weird addictive chemicals he put in it- but it was deliciOus, tOO.
Moooon was presently speaking animatedly to another troll, an indigo-blood who was also part of the tour-group. The indigo looked uninterested as Moooon info-dumped.
MOOOON: MOOOON: Oo < the first flavOr was "fruit punch," then strawberry and grape. isn't that cOOl?
INDIGO: ...uh-huh.
MOOOON: MOOOON: Oo < but nOw they have all kinds Of flavOrs. rOckin' rye. cream sOda. rOOt beer. cOttOn candy. leather. ranch dressing. grape. Oh! haha. already said grape flavOr.
Just as the Indigo-blood seemed ready to snap, the tour guide arrived. It was a tealblood wearing a tie and a fake smile. She called out to the group.
TOUR GUIDE: Hello everyone! Welcome to the Faygo Factory Tour! I trust you all have your Golden Bottlecap Coins! Remember. If you lose yours at any time during the tour, the automatic defense turrets will activate, killing you instantly! Ahaha!
Moooon looked around excitedly, raising her hand eagerly, and, due to her absurd height, accidentally elbowing the indigo in the face. She failed to apologize.
MOOOON: Oo < when dO we get tO see mister ffaygO himself? nOt that i'm nOt sure yOu're a great tOur guide yOurself, miss.
The tour guide shook her head sadly.
TOUR GUIDE: I'm afraid Mister Ffaygo is indisposed in his room. He IS after all, nearly one hundred and fifty sweeps old! Anyone who has reached that venerable age deserves a rest.
Everyone in the tour guide appeared to think this was fair. Everyone except Moooon.
TOUR GUIDE: Now, the first stop on the tour is-
MOOOON: Oo < aha, nOt tO be a bOther, miss, but enOugh fOOling arOund. we all came here tO see pOppOp ffaygO in the flesh. right guys?
Moooon looked to her fellow tour-goers for support. She nudged the indigo-blood in the arm harshly.
INDIGO: look, lady. i only came here because anyone who finds the golden faygo coins is required to attend by law. i don't care about some old fart.
The words "old fart" reverberated in Moooon's head. Old... Fart? Her placid expression immediately morphed into abject rage.
MOOOON: Oo < the venerable pOppOp ffaygO is twice the man yOu'll ever be, dipshit. yOu'd be sO lucky tO live HALF as lOng!
Gripping Indigo by his collar, Moooon stomped directly up to the Tour Guide, who, despite being a fully-grown troll, was only about an inch taller than Moooon herself.
MOOOON: Oo < yOu're hiding him, aren't yOu?? yOu're suppressing pOppOp frOm the public! yOu're keeping him in sOme hOrrible crypt, aren't yOu? yOu think i can't see thrOugh these abject lies??
Moooon dropped the Indigo, grabbing the tour guide instead.
TOUR GUIDE: Ahaha! Look, now, none of that, let's just be reasonable and-
MOOOON: Oo < TAKE ME TO POPPOP!
The Tour Guide gulped, a nervous, sheepish smile on her face. This was obviously upsetting this unhinged, abnormally tall adolescent, and the Tour Guide, while not "afraid," per se, didn't get paid enough to act as security, or to fight angry-looking trolls with hair that looks to have been dyed with temporary dye.
TOUR GUIDE: Aha. Very well. Come with me.
The indigo, still on the floor, coughing, asked,
INDIGO: so can we all go?
TOUR GUIDE: Aha. Sure. I don't care.
The rest of Moooon's tour group swiftly absconded.
MOOOON: Oo < traitOrs...
===
It was nice to take a day off. Poppop lounged by the side of his pool, inhaling the sugary wafts from the surface of it. As was tradition, the Faygo Pool was filled with 660 thousand gallons of Faygo. Today, Poppop decided, it would be Grape. His favorite.
He didn't get up to much swimming these days, not that he used the Olympic-sized tub much in the first place. But now, he barely could. After all, he lost both of his knees in The War, leaving the poor man with two rigid stumps. Walking around was a comical affair for Mister Ffaygo, trotting from place to place with what were ostensibly two sticks beneath him. When he ran, his unbending legs fanned out to the sides, much to the amusement of Cherie.
Still, it didn't get to him. He just felt blessed to still be alive and kicking... Figuratively, at least. He sipped from a bottle of his trusty cola, tipping the plastic chalice into his maw like a hedonist consuming grapes.
Just as he was about to pull his lime-green cap down over his eyes, he heard a commotion from indoors. To his surprise, Ameigh, the tealblood he'd entrusted to lead the tour group walked briskly up to him.
POPPOP: what in tarnation, ameigh?
POPPOP: i told you to tell them not to lose their ffaygo coins
AMEIGH: Aha! I know what you told me, sir, there was just a... A hiccup! Nothing major. Just, one of the participants found it very important to talk to you herself.
Poppop blinked.
POPPOP: to me?
POPPOP: what's someone want to talk to an old ffart like me ffor?
AMEIGH: Ahaha! Who knows!
AMEIGH: Look, she's fairly headstrong, so I think I'm just going to let her in and-
MOOOON: Oo < IS THAT HIM?
Through the double doors, Moooon burst. Ameigh had done her deed, and, as aforementioned, she didn't get paid enough for this. She got out of the way and allowed Moooon to rush up to Poppop and kneel reverently next to the bewildered, petite man.
MOOOON: Oo < mister ffaygO. it is an hOnOr. nO. a pleasure.
Moooon took Poppop's demure wrinkly little hand into hers. Her nose scrunched up. They weren't lying about the weird sweaty sweet smell. The sickly purple pool didn't help.
Poppop wasn't quite sure what to say, so the little man reached over, and said to the interloper,
POPPOP: ya want a grape ffaygo, kid?
Moooon looked as though she might cry.
She sat down on the concrete poolside, cracking open the righteous bev with her long-time idol, tipping it back, downing the liquid with alarming speed.
POPPOP: heh. chill, kiddo, it ain't an effffing race.
MOOOON: MOOOON: Oo < Oh! thanks, but i dOn't get drunk.
POPPOP: how bout that
Mooooon put the soda bottle carefully in the pocket of her denim jacket. She'd treasure this forever.
POPPOP: what's your deal, anyway, squirt?
POPPOP: why's some young dope like you care ffor some old geezer like me?
The answer to that was hard to pin down, and Moooon wasn't great with words, so she bit her lip before speaking.
MOOOON: Oo < i guess... it's silly, but. i always admired hOw yOu never let anything kill yOu. yOu grew tO Old age. nOt a lOt Of trOlls live lOng, but yOu always lOved life in a quiet way.
Poppop smiled.
POPPOP: looks like i'm not alone.
MOOOON: Oo < that and... there's sOmething i've always wanted tO ask yOu.
POPPOP: ask away, kid.
There was a hiss as Poppop opened another bottle for each of them.
MOOOON: Oo < it's kind Of randOm, but, uh...
Moooon shifted, taking a furtive sip from her bottle. This time, she'd gotten an orange flavor. The sharp sensation of carbonation on her tongue gave her courage.
MOOOON: Oo < why dO yOu wear that lime green hat?
Moooon Misste always had a fascination with the color green, especially its neon variant. She didn't know it growing up in the isolation of the woods, but the color of her blood had long ago been wiped out. She was possibly the last of her kind. Asking Poppop Ffaygo about lime green was risky enough, but she trusted the kindly old man. To her surprise, Poppop smiled sadly.
POPPOP: it's the last thing i can remember my old matesprit by.
The words held such gravity, Moooon felt it. Poppop didn't know why he was opening up to this kid until he spotted the symbol on Moooon's jacket.
POPPOP: she had your birth-sign.
Moooon looked down at her insignia. To obfuscate her true blood color, it had been colored olive-green.
MOOOON: Oo < really...?
POPPOP: yep. long beffore the condesce did a genocide on 'em. she was a limeblood. ever heard of a limeblood, kid?
Poppop winked.
POPPOP: condy up 'n killed 'em all on account of how they were effen more powerfful that she was, all told. damn shame.
POPPOP: people called 'er the lunatic, y'know. she had all kinds of crazy ideas for inffentions 'n whatnot. most of the tech in that there factory behind us it thanks to her efffforts. she loffed my sodey pop most off all...
Moooon put a hand on the man's shoulder. She still didn't know why she felt such kinship with this strange, gnome-like man, but she knew it had deepened.
===
As Moooon hopped into the scuttlebuggy that would take her home, she thought about what the old man had said. A fear gripped her, that he knew about her blood and that he'd rat her out, but no drones descended upon her to take her away.
No- That was silly. Mister Ffaygo clearly had a deep empathy with the limebloods. She felt the lump in her jacket-pocket, taking out the empty grape faygo can.
She turned it over in her hands, marveling at it, leaning back in the back seat of the scuttlebuggy.
DRONE: PLEASE DEPOSIT ALL WASTE INTO THE ON-BOARD INCINERATOR.
The drone driver's thrumming voice broke her from her stupor. A panel on the console opened up.
MOOOON: Oo < what? i dOn't have any waste, shithead.
DRONE: PLEASE DEPOSIT ALL WASTE INTO THE ON-BOARD INCINERATOR. OR PERISH.
Moooon looked down. The bottle. Shit. She swallowed.
MOOOON: Oo < lOOk, dumbass, this isn't garbage, i'm keeping it. just-
DRONE: COMMENCING BIOLOGICAL INCINERATION IN FIVE- FOUR-
MOOOON: Oo < alright, alright! fuck's sake-
Moooon reluctantly chucked the bottle into the incinerator. She felt a little piece of herself tear away in that moment, but she'd never forget her meeting today, keepsake or no. She leaned on the window, staring into the sky, watching Alternia's twin moons shine.
Hopefully, someday, with enough effort, there would only be one to look down at her.