Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sakura might not have understood why her parents brought her to the Konoha Cemetery every month, but she enjoyed those days.

Her mother rarely spent much time with Sakura, preferring to love her young daughter from a distance, but mornings like these were the exception. Sakura savored her unwavering attention as she combed and braided the girl’s rosy locks into a neat plait. After that, Sakura and her parents dressed in their formal outfits and Sakura’s father battled his own unruly hair into a low tie along the back of his neck

After slipping on her sandals, she walked alongside her father, small hand curled into the edge of his coat. They stopped in the corner store before each visit, grabbing sticks of incense and light snacks.

She stayed close to his side and the warmth he always gave off. In the cold of late autumn, the inside of the bodega was frosty. A flash of movement caught her attention and she saw her father palm a bright cardboard carton.

“Can’t forget the most important part!” he whispered to her, a sly smile on his face. In the blink of an eye, he slipped the carton into her cardigan pocket and ruffled her hair with a wink.

She grinned and skipped alongside him as they checked out and rejoined her mother.

Her mother eyed Sakura’s pocket and glared at her father.

“Really, Kizashi?” She scoffed before turning and continuing onward.

“How does Momma always know?” Sakura asked her father, once her mother was far enough away from them. Mebuki seemed to have a spooky sense when it came to misbehavior.

“Well, Blossom, your mom has a sixth sense for bull-“

As if summoned, Mebuki turned and glared again.

“…Mischief. She has a sixth sense for mischief.” He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I really should have followed my family’s advice and married for looks. If I knew what I was getting when I asked your mother to marry me,  well…”  He chuckled but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. Sakura blinked up at him, owlishly. Her father was a strange man.

He eyed her, same sly look as in the bodega. “Would you like to get a better look at the snow?”

“Yes, please!” She knew what that question meant.

“Hold tight, Blossom!” He swept her up over his shoulder before he bent his knees. Unseen energy gathered in the air before the cold wind whipped across her cheeks.

She laughed, delighted, as her father touched down on the roof of the nearest house. He stumbled slightly and then lurched to and fro.

“Blossom, when did you get so heavy? I swear, you might weigh as much as a grown man!” He continued stumbling, pretending to trip over his feet.

They both heard her mother’s exclamation from below. Sakura tucked her face into her father’s scarf as he dashed across the snowy roofs of houses. Once they pulled up evenly alongside her mother, she felt him coil again and spring, landing with a soft explosion of snow on the sidewalk below. Mebuki just sighed and Sakura wondered what it would take for her mother to have fun. She had difficulty picturing her mother grinning and smiling.

“Have you ever given Momma a piggyback ride? She might like it!”

“No, unfortunately. Your mother isn’t fond of... acrobatics.” Sakura wondered why her father paused so much in their conversations. Before she could really think about it, they arrived at the gates.

“Do you remember the rules? Say them back to me,” her mother directed, tugging Sakura’s coat into place.

Sakura took a deep breath before beginning to recite the rules. “One: always be respectful, this is somebody’s home, even if we can’t see them. Two: don’t take any candy or food or flowers if they’re by a person’s name. Three: always say hello and goodbye.”

“And?” Mebuki prompted.

“And never talk to people or ask why they’re here.” Sakura finished.

“Good girl.” She patted Sakura’s head. “Meet back here at the gate in one hour.”

Sakura watched as her father took her mother’s hand in his, brought it to his lips, and then stepped back. Her parents walked their separate paths and Sakura was left to her own devices. She didn’t know who her mother was visiting, and her father warned her to never bother her mother during these times.

She walked between rows of markers, reading each name she passed. From a distance, she’d seen her mother speaking to the stones, her head bent and expression hidden.  Her father often wore a smile as he talked to his stones, sometimes chuckling at some unheard joke. Sometimes people joined him, their conversation too quiet for her to hear.

No one ever joined her mother.

Sakura had no stones to talk to, but she wished she did. The other merchant families didn’t have many children her age, and those within a few years of her were often too busy traveling out of the village or were too stuffy from their etiquette training. Then there were the clan kids, but children of the shinobi families often stuck to themselves. Sakura didn’t even have cousins to play with.

As she walked, she tried to find patterns. Each had a family name, a first name, and two dates. Her father often drilled her in arithmetic, making fun games out of her times tables, and her talent in math was one of the few things that makes her mother smile. To occupy herself, she scanned each stone, looking for dates that would put the person around her age.

Homeo, Kimura, 45 years

Omiyago, Kaipo, 52 years

Shingei, Terumi, 31 years, beloved mother

Masaoki, Asuhiro, 17 years

Suho, Jū, 29 years

Sakura rubbed her hands together to create some warmth. Snow was still falling in a light blanket, and the temperature was dropping.

Family name, first name, age

Family name, first name, age

No family name, first name, age

Family name, first name, age

She was deeper into the cemetery than she’d been before. She could still see the rich auburn of her mother’s hair, but it seemed far away through the light flurry of snow. Her father was nowhere to be found.

As she walked farther, there were fewer family names and smaller gaps between dates. It made sense, she thought. This was the older part of the cemetery.

Her breath caught in her throat at the name on one stone.

Sakura, no family name and only a single date, 15 years in the past.

She swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. There was no evidence of any offerings, no crumbs, no petals, not even a coin or two. She brushed the dust off of the engraved characters with chilled fingers.  Who was this other Sakura, and why would no one leave her offerings?

How old was this other girl, when she passed over? Was she 6, like Sakura? Was she older, like her father? Was she a merchant like her parents or a shinobi, like so many in the village? Did she also have pink hair, pale skin, and green eyes or was their name the only thing they shared?

“Did you know her?” a soft voice asked.

She jumped and hastily got to her feet. She didn’t realize she had crouched in front of the headstone.

For a moment, she worried one of the phantoms from her father’s stories had come to take her. She had never seen someone so eerily still. Behind his white mask, she could see dark hair and a flash of black eyes. He was wearing strange clothing, stiff and covered in buckles and pouches. Was the boy a shinobi? No, he couldn’t be that much older than she was!

What was the etiquette for greeting ghostly boys in a cemetery?

“Is that armor?” she asked and then flinched. “I’m sorry, that was rude! I should have said ‘hello’ first!”

Silence grew as she waited for him to say something else. Finally, she couldn’t take the uncertainty.

“You’re a human, right? Not a ghost?”

Though the eyeholes of his mask, she could just barely see the corners of his eyes crinkle.

“Yes.”

Sakura giggled nervously. “What a relief!”

He tilted his head in an unspoken question.

“My dad says that if you’re rude to spirits in a graveyard, they’ll take you away!”

“Ah.”

The silence returned and Sakura took a moment to inspect him, now that she knew he wasn’t going to kidnap her for her lack of manners. She hadn’t noticed the dirt on his uniform before; splatters of reddish mud speckled what she guessed was armor.

“You didn’t answer my question.” Again, his voice made her jump. She looked up, guilty for being caught staring.

“I’m sorry, which question?”

“Do you know her?” His head tilted towards grave between them.

“N-no, but…”

A wave of loneliness swept through her at the sight of the other Sakura’s grave. If not for random chance, Sakura would never have come this far and she would never have found this grave. Her father had always told her to regularly visit any friends who passed, so they knew they would never be forgotten and would look upon the living with good intentions. This Sakura had gone without visitors, without offerings for who knew how long. She had been forgotten. 

Sakura didn’t like to think about death. A year before, her father had brought home a puppy for her birthday. After just a few days, the dog had died in the night without warning or apparent cause. It hadn’t even been old or sick! Sakura’s father had sat down with her beneath the tree in their backyard and told her about the last great sleep that waited for every living creature.

After their conversation, she crawled into bed. Sure, she missed the dog, which she hadn’t even gotten a chance to name, but another thought had bothered her at the time. Death came for a dog without warning. It could come for her parents. It could come for her. If she died now, would anyone remember her? Outside of her parents, she didn’t have much in the way of family, not to mention friends.

“I want to know who she was!” she decided. “Why is there only one date? Why does she only have one name?” Sakura paused for breath. “Do you know who she was?”

“You have many questions about a dead girl,” he said, voice flat. “Sometimes, the only thing you know about someone is their common name and the date their death is recorded.”

“That’s horrible! No one deserves to be forgotten like that. She doesn’t even have a birthday.”

He slowly slid his fingers across the characters for ‘Sakura’. “She was likely a casualty of war and no one knew enough about her to find out more. It happens often, even today.”

“How do you know? Are you a shinobi?”

Almost imperceptibly he nodded but said nothing.

“Why are you here? Are you visiting someone specific?”

When he answered, his voice was hollow. “You ask far too many questions.”

She wrung her hands and looked away. The wind had changed, bringing the smell of smoke and iron to her nose. It was from the boy, she realized. Maybe she had dismissed the idea of him being a spirit too quickly. In this moment, he seemed even more like a supernatural figure from her father’s stories, trapped in the human world and unable to return to his own.

Would he chase her, if she tried to run? She’d be leaving this other Sakura behind without an offering, but…

“I’m sorry.”

“Huh?”

The odd flat tone had left his voice.

“I shouldn’t have snapped at you. It was a fair question.”

“You’re right, though,” Sakura said, embarrassed. “My mom says I’m too curious and that I ask too many questions.”

“Your mother has a point. Curiosity can be a dangerous thing.”

Heat bloomed in her cheeks and she ducked her head. “Sorry. I can leave, if you want.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be leaving shortly.”

“So what are you doing here?” she blurted and then blushed, clasping her hands. “I’m sorry! I’ll leave you alone!”

He made a soft coughing noise. After a moment, she realized it had been a chuckle.

“I often find myself coming here after missions. It’s peaceful.”

She had a sudden urge to ask his name to ground him in reality. As it stood, she wouldn’t be surprised if he vanished the minute he tried to step outside of the cemetery.

“What’s your name?”

“Proper shinobi should remain unknown.”

She squinted at his white mask. The colorful markings reminded her of a rodent.

“Your mask looks like a rat. Can I call you Rat?”

Chuckling again, he dipped his head in agreement. “That will do, I suppose. And you?”

While she was now more sure this boy was human, there was still a small seed of doubt in her gut. From what her father had told her of the supernatural world, your name was more valuable than gold. Could she risk giving it to Rat?

She made up her mind. Her father’s favorite nickname for her would be a safe choice. “You can call me Blossom.” 

Behind the mask his eyes crinkled.

“It was nice to meet you, Blossom.”

A sudden rustle of leaves directed her attention to the left. By the time she turned back, she was the only one standing beside Sakura’s grave.

How long had it been? It was probably time to meet up with her parents. She began the slow trek back to the main gate, deep in thought. Was that strange boy a friend? What about the other Sakura?

A ghost boy and a dead girl. Two new friends.

That night, as she fell asleep, she dreamed of a never-ending parade of Sakuras; Sakuras with piles of books, Sakuras with walking canes, with giant battle axes, and Sakuras with soft dark eyes behind animal masks.

As the days grew colder and then warmer, Sakura did not see the masked boy again. She did see signs of him, though, in leaves and flowers placed atop lonely graves. During her trips to the cemetery, she sat beside the other Sakura and told her about her day.

Haruno Sakura died the night before her seventh birthday.

The fever had swept through the merchant district with early spring, taking the elderly and feeble. Sakura’s mother left to take care of ailing friends. With its spread across Konoha, hospitals were struggling under the influx of new patients. Those who could afford to stay home with the care of family were encouraged to do so. The village’s clinics were full to capacity, and the shinobi wings of the Konoha General Hospital lacked the space for the hundreds of sick civilians.

It began as a sore throat. Sakura obediently drank water throughout the day when her father shot her meaningful glances. By the evening, it had worsened into a dry cough that burned with every exhale. Sakura’s father brought a stack of papers into her room and continued his work between petting her hair and refilling her water glass.

The sickness continued and her mother didn’t return.

“When is Momma coming home?” Sakura asked as he brushed a damp cloth over her brow.

“Your mother is still across the city taking care of her friends. The curfew means she won’t be able to go out often, and she doesn’t want to leave her friends alone.”

“Don’t they have their own moms to take care of them? I want her here with me.” She sniffled.

“Oh ho, am I not enough for you, Blossom?” He joked. Her eyes stung and she hid her head guiltily. “I was joking, kiddo. Your mom will be back as soon as she can.”

He rubbed her back in slow circles as she tried not to cry. Crying, as her mother had told her, served no purpose, especially if you had a fever.

With each morning, the fever worsened until Sakura could no longer track exactly how many days had passed. She measured time by doses of cough syrup and cups of water her father brought her (as well as the number of times she’d vomited into the trashcan by her bed.)

At one point, she dreamed of flying on the back of a giant cat. She saw the houses of her neighbors pass below as the cat left from roof to roof. It told her in her father’s voice to hold tight to his back. The straps the giant cat had tied around her wrists to keep her in place cut into her circulation, but she didn’t have the energy to care.

Another Sakura ran alongside the cat.  She had pink hair, long and knotted, the color Sakura had only seen on her father and in the mirror. The girl was dressed in black, face hidden behind her mask. It looked like a bird, but she couldn’t quite tell in the moonlight. When Sakura tried to call to her, the other girl put a finger to the lips of her mask and shook her head. Sakura felt her eyes drift shut, and she twined her hands into the giant cat’s fur.

Blurry voices floated around her. She swore she heard her parents.

“-Irresponsible to bring her here! You could have been caught!” The clipped tone reminded her of her mother.

“What was I supposed to do, Mebuki? She hasn’t kept anything down in days and the fever hasn’t broken. We’re running out of time.”

“Take her to the clinic, to the hospital! You’re her father, you know how to take care of her!”

“The clinics are full and you know we can’t take her to the hospital if we want her to come home. The stores are out of medicine and I’ve done all I can on my own. We have no other options.”

“Why is it still snowing? It’s spring” Sakura wondered, trying to lift a hand to catch an errant snowflake. The cat tensed beneath her. “Where is my dad, Cat-san?”

“She’s been hallucinating for the last three days. We have no other options.”  A hand patted her head gently. The cat might just be her father, she thought blearily.

A choking noise came from the dark, the same her mother made when news of Sakura’s grandmother’s death had come to them.

“Mebuki, please.” The cat’s hand petted her head again.

“Fine,” Sakura’s mother bit out. “Fine. Do it. But you made me a promise, don’t forget that.”

“I know. Thank you, Meb,” the cat said as Sakura drifted.  Waves of darkness took her again, but this time there was no edge of cold. There was only quiet, no sounds of her own coughing or labored breath to distract her. Pinpricks of cold snow caught in her eyelashes as Sakura faded.

Sakura jerked awake by a stench so vile she gagged. Hands grabbed her and shoved her against a cold surface. She felt tense and sour, like the time she bit into the cord of the kitchen radio when she was a baby, acutely aware of every muscle, tendon, and fiber in her body. Muffled curses followed, and another hand against placed her forehead forced her back down.

A cloth was shoved roughly in her mouth as pain rolled through her lungs and throat.

“Dad! Where’s Dad!?” She tried to call for him, but the cloth was held firmly in place. She couldn’t take in enough air.

“Dad… Dad! Cat-san, anyone! I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get sick, I-“ The pain was unbearable, and Sakura decided she would rather stop breathing than have to endure it. She could hold her breath underwater for three minutes - surely, if she focused hard enough, she could hold her breath forever.

For a few blissful seconds, the burning subsided and she floated in darkness. This, she could handle. Fingers forced themselves between her teeth and wrenched her mouth open. Her jaw opened with a loud pop.

I’m sorry Momma, I can’t stop crying, she thought. The world around her was cold darkness and she just wanted to shut her eyes and sleep.

“If you want to live, keep your fucking mouth open!” A female voice hissed. “I’m doing you a favor. Now hold still-“

And Sakura did and-

And.

And.

And.

And it was cold and grey and she found herself before the grave of the other Sakura in the late fall.

A girl sat on the other Sakura’s head stone.

Sakura couldn’t quite see her face through the withered bouquets she was holding. Her hair was a dusky, maybe half a shade dark than Sakura’s, and she wore some type of uniform. It reminded her of Rat’s.

“H-Hello?”

The girl didn’t answer, didn’t even look up at her.

Sakura gulped and tried again. “Are you… Sakura? From the graveyard?”

The girl lifted her head slowly. Her face was still hidden behind the flowers. Unlike Sakura, this girl did not anxiously wring her hands in her dress or shift from foot to foot.

“Why did you bring me here?” The girl spoke with Sakura’s voice.

“I’m sorry… But I don’t think I did?’’

“What do you remember?”

Sakura remembered the roof tops, flakes of snow, and riding on the back of a large cat- no, not a cat, her father!

“I was with my dad… He was taking me somewhere? Wait, I was sick! And he brought me some place and then it was dark and-“

Vicious cramps gripped her torso and she doubled over, completely overwhelmed by the sudden pain. Why couldn’t she breathe? Where was the pain coming from? A hand grabbed her roughly by the arm and yanked her to her feet. The sensation vanished. The other Sakura stood before her, hand still vice-like around her wrist.

“What was that?”

Sakura was leveled with another glare as the other girl returned to her original position.

“I wouldn’t recommend thinking about that again. You’re safe here, for now.”

Sakura was still reeling from the memory of the pain, but did as the girl suggested and turned her mind to more immediate things.

“Where is here, anyway?”

More tense silence from the girl. The small bit of compassion she’d displayed by helping Sakura was nowhere to be seen.

“Please, can’t you tell me something? What happened in that place? How did I end up back at the graveyard?”

Behind the flowers, Sakura got a distinct impression of eyes rolling. “Are you really that dull? Does this look like your world?”

“What? No, we’re here at the graveyard…” She trailed off, finally paying attention to her surroundings. Now that the other girl mentioned it, this wasn’t what Sakura remembered. First, it was the wrong season. The outside world was still fuzzy, but she thought it had been spring. Heavy fog blanketed the area around her and the girl, which was weird, since fog was uncommon in the village. Through the fog, she could just make out the iron fencing along the border. Beyond it were swirling plumes of grey, black and white, strange and unsettling.

“Is this… a dream?”

More silence.

“Can you at least tell me how to leave?”

“It’s your mind, isn’t it? Figure it out.”

“You’re rude,” Sakura said before she could stop herself.

“And you’re weak.”

“No, I’m not! Stop being so mean to me for no reason!”

Behind the flowers, the strange girl scowled.

“No reason? Ha!” The girl hopped down from the headstone, landing silently. She crept around Sakura in a slow circle, assessing her from all angles. “Look at you, so soft, so fragile.”

She reached out a hand and stroked Sakura’s hair. “So weak, so easy to kill.” The hand closed and yanked.

“Ow! Stop it!”

Sakura’s head was pulled backwards, exposing her throat. Cold breath played across her neck.

“What would happen if you died here, I wonder?” the other girl whispered into her ear. Sakura broke from her paralysis and shoved the girl away from her, breathing hard.

“Fine! If you’re not going to help me, then I’ll just find my own way out of here!”

Sakura turned, practically running in the direction where she remembered the gate. The fog grew denser the father she traveled from the other girl. When she was maybe twenty feet away, something brushed her leg. Looking down, she saw curls of fog winding around her ankles. She shook them off, but after a moment, they started drifting back into place. More steps revealed more resistance, and the farther she got from the girl, the thicker and stronger the fog became until she was frozen mid-step, unable to set her foot down on the ground.

“Having trouble, maggot?”

“Ugh! You’re the worst!”

From behind the flowers, the girl grinned. “That may be true, but I’m also realistic,” she crooned. “I see you for what you are; a pathetic little girl with no control over her own head.”

A tremor passed through the cemetery (or wherever Sakura was) and she looked around for the source.

“Ah, it looks as though you’re in luck,” the other girl said dryly.

Warped voices echoed from the cloud cover above. One sounded like her father’s. Darkness began to fall across the graveyard.

“Good! I never want to see you again!” Sakura yelled at the other girl. She didn’t care that she was horribly rude; this girl was the worst and she looked forward to leaving this terrible place.

“If only that were possible, maggot.”

When Sakura opened her eyes, she saw the soft blue ceiling of her room and almost cried in relief.  Her father dozed in a chair beside her bed, snoring lightly.

I’m glad to be home, she thought.

“Good for you,” a familiar voice said.

Sakura screamed.

She sensed her father jerk awake beside her, shaking her shoulders, asking if she was okay, asking what was wrong, but all Sakura could think was that something had broken, and she didn’t know if it could be fixed.

Chapter Text

Her mother returned the next morning. Her father, who had continued his habit of reading through paperwork at her bedside, exhaled softly and adopted a tight smile at the sound of the front door.

“Let me go see if your mom needs help unpacking.”

Sakura knew her parents didn’t have a normal relationship, even for a merchant family. The wood worker family down the street had several children, all older than Sakura, and a warm and busy home. Theirs was a place of near constant noise and activity. They danced together at festivals, leaned against one another during merchant functions, and were known to give each other extravagant gifts on anniversaries. When Sakura read her picture books and saw smiling families, she thought of them.

The family that traded in paper was cold, proper, and efficient. Sakura didn’t think she had ever seen a single member of that family smile. Their oldest daughter, Mara, had confided that her parents had been married for political reasons, met together every few years to produce her and her younger siblings to meet the quota of heirs, and then refused to interact for months at a time. Mara had told Sakura that she was lucky that her parents even tolerated living together in the first place.

Sakura wasn’t sure whether or not she was lucky. From the floor below, she could hear her parents arguing faintly.

Nothing out of the ordinary, she thought. What was uncommon was the frantic-edge to her mother’s voice.

Haruno Mebuki was a woman accustomed to having control of her life. She held the household and trading operations in strict order. Frantic was a word for the weak women her mother scorned in radio dramas and novellas, not a word for Sakura’s mother.

Curious, Sakura sat up and felt her stomach and lungs spasm. Breathing was easier than it had been the night before, but her body still shook. She dragged her legs from under her pile of quilts and gently placed them on the floor. She hadn’t actually left bed of her own will for over two weeks, but curiosity compelled her. If she sat just beyond the landing of the second floor stairwell, she would be able to hear conversation in the kitchen.

She moved to stand up and watched in dismay as the world swung violently around her. She muffled her fall by dragging her quilt pile under her body at the last second. Her knee throbbed, twisted at an unnatural angle from her fall, but she pulled it back to its correct position with a quiet hiss of pain.

Her eyes started to droop as she crawled to the door. She yawned. The quilt pile called to her.

“Weak,” a voice hissed.

“Am not!”

She had only made it to the doorway, but was already bone weary. Propping herself against the frame, she strained to hear the conversation below. To her disappointment, only fragments reached her.

“…promise…”

“…Like I had a choice. You know I…“

“…Supposed to trust you after this…”

“…Never put her in harm’s way, she’s my daughter!”

The voices picked up in volume.

“She’s probably traumatized! And for what, Kizashi? You should have let her…”

Sakura drifted back to sleep against the doorframe, letting snippets of conversation float around her.

“It’s time to go back to bed, Blossom.”

She must have drifted off for a moment. Her father was leaning against the door frame, looking down at her with amusement. She blinked blearily as he scooped her into his arms and sat her and her quilt nest back on the bed. Sakura was too exhausted to even be ashamed of eavesdropping.

He brushed her hair back from her face.

“Sakura,” he said.

Must be something serious, she thought. “Sakura” was reserved for important stuff.

“We need to talk about what happened last night. How much do you remember?”

She bit her lip and shook her head, not wanting to think about the previous day’s events.

He sighed.

“That’s for the best. Do you remember the two Haruno family rules?” He took her small hands in his large ones. Sakura looked at the scars lacing his skin and ran her tiny fingers over them. “Nothing is more expensive than free,” he continued, “and never break your promise or allow it to be broken. As merchants, our integrity is everything. Losing trust and integrity in our field spells death to our family.”

He took a deep breath.

“I broke a promise last night. One I made to your mother.”

“How big of a promise? Mara said little lies aren’t as bad as big lies as long as they don’t hurt people.”

“It wasn’t a little lie, Sakura. It was a big one, an important one. No matter what happens in the future, I want you to know I did it to protect you, to keep you safe.” 

He kissed her forehead.

“Are you and Momma going to keep fighting?”

“If your mother keeps being a doubtful shrew, then yes. Otherwise,” he whispered conspiratorially, “I’ll just have to steal you and run away!” He tickled her before throwing a quilt over her head.

Sakura laughed and snuggled back under the covers of her blanket, trying to ignore the sour feeling in her gut.

“Pathetic, complacent,” the voice whispered again in her mind.

Sakura spent the next few days with her mother, something which was very out of the ordinary. She stayed in bed for the most part, chronically exhausted with a near-constant headache. She was vaguely aware that she hadn’t seen her father for longer than a few minutes since her recovery. He entered the house late at night, leaving before the sun rose.

Three days after her recovery, her mother deemed her well enough to leave bed and parked Sakura at the kitchen table. For the most part, Sakura was left to read or doze off as she acclimated to being upright.

On the fourth day, her mother brought out the Haruno family chess set. They played several games a day on the well-worn board.  Sakura didn’t have a chance against her mother. Mebuki refused to pull her punches, even when her daughter was in a weakened state.

“Where’s Daddy? Why isn’t he working in his study like normal?” Sakura asked as she made her first move, choosing one of her knights.

“Your father has found himself otherwise occupied.”

Sakura noticed her mother almost never used the same strategy twice, rarely starting with the same sequence of pieces.  Sometimes she wondered if her mother was actually playing against herself, rather than Sakura.

“Do you know when he’ll be back?” She chose a bishop this time. She liked his hat. He was her second favorite piece.

Her mother remained quiet, fingers drumming against the edge of the table before moving her chosen piece. Mebuki’s one constant was her fondness for pawns.

“Momma?” She moved her rook.

“It’s none of your concern, Sakura.” They descended into silence as the game continued.

Her mother won; they reset the board. The cycle continued.

Midway through a game that would surely end in a brutal defeat, Sakura almost started crying. Not to complain — she cherished these rare episodes of attention from her mother — but there was just something about losing over and over again that exhausted her.

“I wanna take a break, Momma.”

Mebuki’s eyes were locked on the pieces.

“‘M thirsty and tired.” Sakura rested her head on the kitchen table. The headache had never fully gone away, only lessening to a dull background hum. “Can we play after I take a nap?”

“Giving up because you feel unwell won’t be an option as you grow older. Consider this practice for your life as an adult.” Mebuki made her move, sweeping up two of Sakura’s pieces. Only Sakura’s royal pair, a knight, and two pawns her left. “Focus, please, and make your move.”

“I don’t want to play anymore,” Sakura whined. “My head hurts and thinking hurts and not being asleep hurts and I just want Daddy to read to me and then go to sleep!”

Mebuki blinked and then tapped the board with her index finger.

“You can take a nap after you finish this game.”

“I’m tired now! And Daddy’s still not back and you won’t tell me why he’s gone! I don’t want to play anymore!” She slammed her hands down on the table, upsetting the remaining pieces. She sat back down in her chair, trying to disappear in her blanket as she waited for her mother’s anger.

When her mother spoke, her voice was soft.

“There will be times in your life where you will have to make difficult choices, Sakura.” Her mother said, sweeping the pieces from the board. For the briefest of moments, Mebuki’s perpetual grimace twisted and Sakura saw worry in her eyes.

“We live in a system, not unlike a large game. If you think fast enough, if you study enough, and choose to be a part of the game as an active player, you’ll start to see the patterns moving around you. Many are too afraid to see the board underneath. It’s too much, to know that you’re part of someone else’s plans.”

Her smile turned wistful as she reset the white pieces. “That’s what I loved about your father. When I met him, I found someone else who was unafraid to look underneath. To finally go up against someone who has not only read the rulebook but burned it and written their own… It’s exhilarating.”

After a moment, Sakura began setting up her pieces along her side of the board. Apparently, her mother wasn’t angry after all. She knew from her father that playing black meant you went first and it was supposed to give you an advantage, but it had never helped against her mother. Sakura had never won, had never even come close.

Sakura picked up one of her knights, her favorite pieces. Her head still pounded, but there was something in the air that made her want to keep going, some strange tension between her and her mother that had never been there before.

“It’s a dangerous quality.”

Her mother’s hand rested over Sakura’s, stilling her.

“To some, your father has a gift.” Based on her expression, she clearly disagreed. “He is able to see the people around him for what they are. Unique, valuable pieces capable of great things, but pieces nonetheless.”

Her mother released her and sat back in her chair.

“For your sake, I hope you take after me.”

They continued the game.

In the following weeks, Sakura noticed a few changes.

First, her father crept back into their lives. Despite his jests and good humor, her mother had stopped laughing and her rare smiles were replaced with tight-lipped grimaces. She spent more time glancing over her shoulder and less time sipping tea at her desk in easy focus. Sakura knew better than to ask what was worrying her; Mebuki had instilled in her with an almost militant politeness, and etiquette breaches would get her nowhere.

And if her mother had more than one glass of wine after dinner, Sakura tried not to notice.

The second was the man that started visiting her father.

With summer around the corner, the weather turned sunny enough to dry their laundry outside. Sakura loved helping her father with all chores, but laundry in particular. The clothesline stretched across the Haruno yard, and she wove between bedsheets like an obstacle course made of clouds.

“Ssss…”

Sakura giggled and crouched behind her flower printed duvet as it swayed in the breeze.

“SssSSssSaaa….”

Trying not to laugh, she took in a breath and held it. She had seen her father disappear from her senses during playtime. One minute, he would be sitting right in front of her, ready to throw a stuffed animal at her, and then next, he would vanish. When asked, he only chuckled and told her not to tell her mom.

“It’s just like trying to be the most interesting person in the room,” he had said, “but the exact opposite of that.”

While she wasn’t completely sure that it wasn’t just her dad’s usual hijinks, something in her gut told her to give it a try.

“Crouching like a fool and holding your breath will only make you more obvious,” the girl inside her whispered.

“Like you could do any better!” she whispered back, and tried to picture herself vanishing.

“SssSSSSssSakuuuuuuuu...”

Her dad was getting closer and nothing was working! She could see his shadow approaching from behind the sheet to her left.

Become a boring shadow. Become a boring shadow. Just a boring shadow. Her heartbeat was too loud in her ears and she was convinced it was alerting her father to her presence.

Quieter, she told it. Quieter.

The beat slowed and the world and the edges of the world around her took on a fuzzy grey coloring. Her father’s silhouette straighten, looking around.

“Sakura…?”

The sounds around her were muffled, like the times she had gone swimming in one of the lakes with a few of the older kids and had listened to their laughter from under the water. The gate on the other side of the yard creaked.

“Danger!” That wasn’t her dad, that was the other girl. “Hide. Run!”

Quieter, she told her heart.

With a dreamlike calm, she noticed that the colors of her yard were muted and dull. Her father’s voice almost broke her concentration.

“Shimura-Sama, I didn’t expect you today.”

“At ease.” Sakura had never heard that man before, and every hair on her arms stood on end.

Quieter, smaller, she thought.

“Don’t stop,” hissed the voice.

“My apologies, sir, I would have prepared if I knew you were going to visit. Shall we speak somewhere more private?”

“Ah, no need, Kizashi. I was simply in the area and stopped by on a whim. I’m sure we’ll meet in the future at a more convenient time for both of us. It is regrettable, I had hoped to be introduced to your wife — I hear she has a great many connections in the Land of Iron.”

“That she does, Sir. I would be happy to introduce you in the future. Unfortunately, Mebuki is often occupied during business hours and much of her rest days, of course.”

Who was this man? She’d met plenty of her parents’ colleagues and trading partners before, but none of them had sent chills through her quiet like this stranger.

“Don’t lose focus!” hissed the girl.

Quieter, she repeated inwardly, and the world lost more of its color. Her vision was restricting down to a narrow view of the sheet in front of her.

Her father had adopted the lighthearted tone he often used with store clerks and bank tellers, but she didn’t miss the way his shadow shifted to stand directly between her and the visitor.

“Of course,” the man echoed. “I’ll leave you to your laundry, my apologies for imposing. Lovely duvet, by the way. Such a lively cherry blossom print.”

A dull clunk told her the gate has closed behind the visitor and her father turned, almost too slowly. He swept away the duvet separating them with one hand and Sakura gasped as she finally released her focus. Her breathing was ragged, hands shaking.

She glanced up at her father and froze. He stared down at her, eyes sharp.

“Where did you learn how to do that?”

“Lie!” hissed the girl.

“I saw you d-do it once,” Sakura stuttered. She wasn’t entirely sure what the girl or her father were referring to. He didn’t blink as he watched her. She tried again. “You showed me the last time we played hide and seek! You told me to hold my breath.”

His eyes narrowed just a hair and then the tension snapped and her father rubbed the back of his head with one hand. “Hah! I must be getting sloppy. Come on, Blossom, let’s grab lunch.”

She gulped and tried to grin back. If her father held her hand a little too tightly as he pulled her up the stairs into the house, she tried not to notice.

The tension in the air eased as he prepared their lunches. Despite everything, the day was still lovely.

“Oy, Blossom, want to do something fun?” Sakura nodded and her father scooped  her up in his arms. “Don’t drop our food!”  A whirl of leaves fluttered around them and Sakura felt a lurch in her gut. When the leaves disappeared, they were standing  on the roof of their house.

“How did you do that?!”

“It’s a secret. Don’t tell your mom or she’ll yell at both of us!” He ruffled her hair and took his lunch bag from her.

He sat down on the peak of the roof and pulled her down beside him. They ate their lunches in silence, and Sakura periodically glanced at her father.

“Daddy, are you a shinobi?”

“Nope!”

“Why not? You’re really good at jumping and you can do that cool leaf trick.”

“Ah, well… that’s about all your old man can handle anymore. If I tell you a secret, do you promise not to tell anyone?”

She nodded and grinned.

“I used to be one — a shinobi, I mean.”

“What?! Really?”

“You don’t believe your old man had it in him?”

“No!”

“Oof, Blossom, you wound me.”

Sure, he was odd, he had quirks, but she never would have suspected he had ever been a ninja. Neither of her parents had ever mentioned it before. Her dad liked maps, joining her mom on trading trips, and running the finances of several businesses in the area. She didn’t think her house even had a knife that wasn’t in the kitchen.

“Did you like being a shinobi?”

“Yes.” He smiled, wistful. “I loved my Genin team and our sensei. Some of the best people I’ve ever met have been shinobi. It was my whole world, but the shinobi lifestyle isn’t for the faint of heart.”

“If you liked it, why did you stop?”

“Well, unfortunately, I am literally faint of heart. One of my missions went south. While I was recovering in the hospital, they found an irregularity in my heart and I had to leave active service.”

“Do you miss it?”

“Everyday, Blossom.”

“I’m sorry.”

He patted her head and they returned to their lunches. Halfway through, she dropped her juice box and watched in dejection as it rolled off the edge of roof.

“Got it!” her dad said before disappearing in another whirl leaves. He reappeared after a blink, juice box in hand.

Sakura grinned as an idea struck her.

“Could you teach me the leaf trick?”

“Sorry, kiddo, that’s an adults-only secret!” He stuck out his tongue at her.

“If you don’t teach me how to do that, I’ll tell Momma you brought me on the roof!”

“Oh, you little brat! I should have known!” he smiled at her, clearly proud of his conniving daughter. “I’ll teach you, but maybe in the future. You’re way too young to learn something like that.”

Sakura glared at him, eyes narrowing.

“I’m going to tell Momma about that man that visited.”

“Don’t push it, Sakura.” Her dad was serious know. Sakura knew she had overstepped but refused to back down. She was sick of adults hiding things from her. From her mother’s cryptic comments to the pain in the dark room, which she tried to forget but haunted her dreams. One trick in return for keeping their secrets was a bargain.

She sighed dramatically and pulled the apple from her lunch bag. Her father relaxed, thinking it was over.

“If you won’t, maybe I should just ask this guy from earlier to teach me.”

Checkmate.

And her father was in front her, gripping both of her hands with painful intensity.

“Stay away from him.”

Between the laughter, the frequent jokes, the running from rooftop to rooftop, the bed time stories, the head ruffles, Sakura had forgotten that her dad sometimes scared her.

“Why?”

“You know why,” whispered the voice.

“Never, and I mean never, approach him. If he tries to talk to you, run,” her father said. “There are things in this village that are far more dangerous than you, a child, could ever understand.”

She thought about the other adults her parents had warned her about. There were always the general warnings of stanger-danger and reminders to never follow unfamiliar people into buildings. There were also those with sharper warnings. Her mother had cautioned her against ever going into the butcher’s shop on the corner of her street without an adult with her. When she asked why, her mother gave her an anxious frown and told her that not all dangerous creatures were animals.

“Is he like the butcher Momma warned me about?”

“No, he’s worse.” She sucked in a breath as he pinned her with his gaze. “Sakura, what is Haruno Family Rule Number 1?”

“Nothing is more expensive than ‘free’.”

“Very good. There are no such things as gifts without strings. Everything has a price, even if the price isn’t monetary. Not connections, not opportunities, and especially not favors.”

“If he’s so dangerous, why are you friends with him?”

The girl inside her began a low stream of unintelligible grumbling. Sakura rubbed a temple.

“Before I met your mother, I was a different man. It wasn’t until I met Mebuki that I started thinking about the longterm. She wouldn’t let me marry her until I’d left my previous life behind, and I did — for you and her.”

A shadow passed over his face. “But I had to make a few sacrifices to protect what I’ve gained. That man,” he continued, “does not want to let go of what he’s had. Once he has something, it belongs to him. Haruno Family Rule Number 2: Never break a promise or allow it to be broken.”

They returned to the silence that plagued her family. After finishing her lunch, she leaned back against the tiles of roof and watched the clouds. It seemed like every time she as about to learn something about either of her parents, she stumbled and they got mad at her.

What was the point of all these secrets?

“Here, let me make it up to you.” He held out his hand and pulled her to her feet. “I’m not gonna teach you how to do the Shunshin — that’s what you call the leaf trick,” he said before she could ask, “But what if I taught you how to do something just as cool?”

Sakura was suspicious.

“Ah, you’re such a mini-Mebuki. Tree walking. I’ll show you how to walk up a tree.”

“I already know how to climb a tree, Daddy. I’m not four.”

“No, I mean- Ugh! Alright, come on!” He scooped her back up into his arms and Sakura shrieked in delight as he leapt from the peak of the room to the ground below. They landed a few feet away from the oak tree that lived in their backyard.

“Now watch,” he instructed. Sakura felt a familiar pressure in the air and she watched, fascinated, as he placed one foot after the other against the tree, walking up its vertical length as easily as if he was strolling across the kitchen.

“How did you do that?!”

She had to know! Sakura wasn’t like the few children she’d had to meet because of her parents. On the rare occasion she spent time with her peers in age, they had an almost religious obsession with the shinobi population of the village. Sakura didn’t understand the fixation; they lived in a shinobi village, so of course there were going to be shinobi around. She’d never really met any or spent time around them, but she didn’t imagine they were that different from normal people.

That being said, she would love to be able to climb a tree like that, if only to get to better reading spots in higher tree branches.

“We’ve got some basics to cover first, but you’re a smart cookie and can figure it out.”

He sat down against the bark of the tree, still perpendicular to the ground and Sakura rolled her eyes.

“Showing off is bad for your health, Daddy,” she teased.

“Quiet, you menace. So most people would jump right into chakra theory, but I think we might have more going a different route. I have a suspicion that you’ll learn like me, rather than like other kids. Have we ever talked about Emihomi’s Eyes?”  She shook her head. “No? Okay.”

He hopped back to the earth and quickly brushed away at some leaves, clearing away a small patch of dirt and picked up a stick.

“So we’ve got our heroine, Emihomi, and she has a sister named Tatsuhomi. One day, their mother asks them to pick special berries in the woods by their house.  Before they leave, their mother shows them a picture of the Blue Beetle Bush, which has delicious blue berries. She warns them to watch out for the Red Beetle Bush, which is identical to the Blue Beetle Bush in every way, except for the fact its berries are red and poisonous to humans.”

As he talked, he began to sketch in the dirt, drawing two bushes side by side with two nearby stick figures.

“When Emihomi and Tatsuhomi go into the forest, they find two bushes right next to each other. The one on the right has red berries, while the one on the left has blue berries. Now, if they remember what their mother showed them, which berries should they pick?”

“The blue berries.” Was there a trick to this?

“Yep! Now, let’s make things more interesting. When Emihomi was a baby-” Her father used the stick to draw a slash over the head of one of the stick figures, “-Tatsuhomi hit her in the eyes with a handful of rocks, which blinded her.”

“Meanie,” Sakura whispered. Her dad grinned.

“Their mother summoned a special healer to fix her eyes, which he did. However, when Emihomi recovered, the colors blue and red had switched places! Everything she had seen before that had been blue was now red, and everything that had been red was now blue. Emihomi never told her family about the switch because she was too young to remember the way it was before.  As far as she knew, it had always been like that. Now, knowing this, which berries might Emihomi choose?”

“Oh, then the red... wait,” Sakura trailed off. “You said it happened when she was a baby?”

He grinned at her.

“Then wouldn’t she still choose the blue berries? Because if her mom showed her a picture and they looked red to her then, they’d also look red on the bush? And then the poisonous berries would be blue?”

“Very good!” He clapped his hands together. “Now, let’s take this a step farther. As they are about to pick the berries, a yokai appears and swaps the two sisters’ bodies as punishment for stealing from his berry bushes and then disappears again! Now Emihomi’s brain is in Tatsuhomi’s body and Tatsuhomi’s brain is in Emihomi’s body. Are you following?”

“Yeah, but this is a weird story.”

“Such a hard audience! Anyways, Tatsuhomi is now seeing through Emihomi’s eyes. If she were to try to pick the berries now, which ones would she choose?”

“Wait, so, Tatsuhomi’s brain is now in her sister’s body…?”

Her father nodded again, encouraging her.

“…So she would pick the poisonous berries,” Sakura decided. “She would still have her memories of her mom’s picture but wouldn’t know that Emihomi’s eyes had the colors reversed.”

“Exactly! I’m so glad my daughter is smart! So, what does this have to do with tree walking, you might ask?”

“What does this have to do with tree walking,” she deadpanned back at him.

“Every living creature,” he began, picking up the stick and wiping away Emihomi and Tatsuhomi, “depends on energy. Some of it is the energy in our cells that help us move our muscles.“

He drew drew a snake.

“Some of it is the heat keeps us warm.”

He drew a campfire.

“Some of it is the energy in our mind.”

He drew a tiny stick human with an arrow pointing to its brain.

“All creatures have chakra, which lives inside of them. Chakra is a form of energy, and is one of the things that keeps plants, humans and other creatures alive. Without getting too in-depth, chakra is like another cardiovascular system — like how you have blood pumping through your body because of your heart. Now, even though all creatures have chakra, not all creatures have the ability to use it for things other than living.”

He put a tiny ‘X’ beneath the drawing of the snake.

“To greatly oversimplify things, normal animals can’t do anything with chakra besides live. However, some humans can do more things with it.”

He drew a tiny checkmark beneath the human stick figure.

“Using chakra for other things is called chakra manipulation or chakra molding. For our purposes today, we’re going to focus on moving chakra around and changing it’s shape, although there’s plenty of other things you can do with it.”

Leaves were scattered on the ground around hem and he picked one up, pinching it between two fingers. “Chakra changes how we interact with the world around us. By manipulating chakra, I can change how the energy in my body interacts with the energy of the tree’s bark, or the roof, or even this leaf.”

He pressed the leaf to the middle of his forehead and removed his hand. The leaf stayed in place and he grinned at her doubtful expression.

“So if I can make my forehand and this leaf stick together using chakra…” he looked at her expectantly.

“Then you can make your body and other things stick together,” she finished. “Because using chakra makes things sticky…?” Unlike local flora and fauna, weather patterns, or geography, Sakura had absolutely no preexisting knowledge on this subject. It was all brand new and she loved it.

“Er, you’re kinda correct. Correct enough for our purposes today. The technical modulations to your chakra are usually subconscious. To do something like this, just focusing will get you most of the way. Let’s see what happens if we just throw you straight in, no leaf, no exercises.”

Sakura felt the weight of his gaze. Something else was going on in this interaction, but she didn’t have enough information to make sense of it. She stepped up to the tree. She was no shinobi, but…

“Wait! Emihomi’s Eyes. Why did you tell me that story?”

“Ah, yes! Forgot to connect the dots. Sit back down for a second.” She sighed but obliged. “Sakura, would you say you’re a normal child?”

“Don’t tell him about us. Don’t tell him. Don’t-“

Her headache, which had calmed since the incident with the man, came back in full force. She rubbed at her temples.

“I mean, the other kids don’t really think so. They’re too loud and boring and I told them that one time and now they don’t want to hang out with me.” Half-truths would have to do, he didn’t need to know about the other Sakura.

A laugh erupted from her father. “Oh, Blossom. We really are from the same cloth. But I think it goes deeper than that. You and I… We don’t think like other people, do we? The things other people care about, sometimes it’s hard to understand why they matter so much. Have you ever felt like that?”

She nodded.

“You’re still a little too young to be enrolled in school, but someday soon there’s going to be a lot of people trying to tell you how things work. They may even be right at times. However, if you have even a drop of my DNA — which you do, because I trust your mother very much — there will be times where someone will try to convince you of things that won’t make sense.”

Sakura wasn’t sure she understood, but kept listening.

“Emihomi and Tatsuhomi would have been poisoned for two reasons: first, their senses didn’t perceive the true danger of the situation, and two, they had no awareness of each other’s context, and therefore, no way to know that their senses were even in question. No human can ever fully understand another human. No one can ever fully understand what your life as Haruno Sakura has taught you.”

There were times when Sakura wondered if her father could see through her, straight to the other girl in her mind.

“Now get up that tree, Blossom.”

If she focused hard enough, she could feel tiny pinpricks of energy at her feet, although that might just be her imagination. A network inside her body, energy strings, filaments, tying her to the life force of the world.

She kicked off one sandal and pressed her bare foot against the bark of the tree. It didn’t feel any different.

“I’m here if you fall.”

He had said chakra wasn’t really sticky, but when sakura closed her eyes and tried to imagine the energy he described, she didn’t feel water. What she did feel was something gooey and strange. Not quite liquid, not quite solid.

The scent of wet dirt filled her nose and she made a step. And another. And a third. Her father laughed, high and breathy, and her eyes snapped open. For a brief moment, Sakura was horizontal to the ground and looking up into the canopy of the tree. She gasped.

Then her internal equilibrium caught up to her and she landed butt-first in the dirt.

“You said you would catch me if I fell!”

He grinned down at her. “No, I said that I would be here, not that I would catch you. Besides, that was only a few feet. You’re fine.”

“How did I do?” 

Something cool shimmered in his eyes, the same expression as when he and her mother faced off against each other at chess.

“You’re on your way to be a great tree walker. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but you’ll be able to at some point. Now, Sakura, listen to me.” He crouched down in front of her to look her in the eyes. “It is very important that you don’t practice this around other people and that you don’t tell anyone what you know.”

“Not even Momma?”

“Especially not your mother. You’re still young, but you have a lot of potential. If someone saw that potential, they might want to make you do things you don’t want to do and I wouldn’t be able to stop them. They’d also hurt your dear old parents who love you so much. You wouldn’t want that, right?”

“N-no!”  Was it really worth this worry to learn how to walk up a tree like her dad? “Would I have to become a shinobi if they found out?” she asked.

“In all likelihood, yes.”

“Shinobi kill and hurt people. I’ve read about in your books.” She thought of the other Sakura’s headstone. Shinobi left people behind with no family name, no birthday, no one to remember them. “I don’t want to be a shinobi, Daddy.”

“You have no idea how happy that makes me to hear you say that.”

He kissed her forehead.

But she decided she wanted something out of this unpleasant afternoon.

“I still want to learn it, though. Is that… okay? That I still want to, even though it might hurt you and Momma?”

He smiled at her, fondly. It was the first genuine smile she’d seen from him since the man visited their backyard.

“Alright, tell you what. You’re not allowed to practice on the tree unless I’m here and your mom isn’t home. Also, no practicing alone. You’re so young that your chakra reserves are super tiny. If you use it all up, you could cause permanent damage.”

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a coin. He held one hand palm facing her, fingers together. He placed the coin on its edge on the very tip of his middle finger.

“Practice making the coin stick to your finger like this. Once it stays while you move your hand, move on to this.” He moved his index finger away from his middle finger and the coin followed. “Once you can keep the coin steady on each finger without it falling and move it across all five fingers, try moving it from finger to finger. We’ll try the tree again. Are you happy now?”

“Yes, Daddy! Thank you!” He handed her the coin and she pocketed it.

“Now let’s go clean up our lunch mess before your mother comes home.”

Chapter Text

Time passed. Sakura recovered and life returned to normal. She did chores, helped her mother keep the books balanced, and began studying for the civilian education exams which were still two years away.

A few months after she turned eight, it came time for her parent’s bi-yearly trip out of the Land of Fire. Her father insisted on keeping her mother company during her trek to negotiate with foreign trade partners. Every time, Sakura begged to go along with them, and every time she packed up her clothes and books and was dropped with her Aunt Kagami for however long it took her parents to return from their trip.

The three to five months weren’t awful, per se. They were just less exciting than traveling the world with her family. Kagami was her father’s only remaining family member, the others passing away shortly after Sakura was born. She ran the Haruno textile shop, which was a holdover of her father’s parents. According to her dad, Kagami loved to laugh and was a riot at parties, but Sakura rarely had time to spend with her aunt. The woman ricocheted between the shop and the apartment that sat on the floor above it, operating the family business as a one-woman machine.

Kagami didn’t have patience for stillness so Sakura was put to work. When she wasn’t sorting bolts of fabric in the shop’s back room (which wasn’t so bad), she was working the registers and balancing her aunt’s daily ledgers. Unlike Sakura’s mother who was detailed to a pin, Kagami often scrawled notes in terrible penmanship and her books were littered with errors.

Worst of all, Sakura had to interact with people while working the registers. She hated it. It was mostly older women who came in, usually civilian seamstresses  looking for the latest prints. They called her ‘dear,’ tried to pinch her cheeks, and told her she wouldn’t get a good husband if she had her nose buried in a book all the time.

There were a few kids in the neighborhood and her aunt introduced her to them upon her arrival. She did try to get to know them, but they left her uncomfortable and awkward, lost for words. Kickball wasn’t her cup of tea and they always wanted to play shinobi vs samurai, which involved far too much screaming and running for her liking.

Instead, she holed up behind the counter, surrounded by the smell of leather and cotton and nose deep in a book. The days passed slowly, without incident.

She met her first shinobi one afternoon, only minutes before the store was supposed to close. It had been an unusually busy day and the influx of customers had meant that Sakura was left balancing the register later than usual.

The bell over the door chimed and Sakura sighed.

“… Can feel it. It’s here. Something is here. Something… ”

Sakura shook her head to dispel the muttering of the other girl.

A man marched in, Hitai-ate bright on his forehead.

“Please just go away,” Sakura whispered to herself. “Let me get back to my book.”

The shinobi walked right up to the counter and dinged the bell for service.

Sakura closed the ledger, irked but ready to serve the customer.

“How can I help you, sir?” He looked her up and down, noticing her for the first time.

“C’mon kid, you can’t be more than six. Where’s your mom?”

“I’m eight, not five! Aunt Kagami, there’s a customer!”

She heard a crash in the backroom and her aunt emerged in a whirl of fabric bolts.

“Welcome to Haruno Fabrics, how can I…?” She trailed off, looking at the man. Sakura was interested to see her own wariness of shinobi also reflected in her aunt.

“Do you have any combat grade fabric here?”

“I’m very sorry, sir, but this is a civilian shop. Our clientele is primarily merchants and we don’t have much in the way of shinobi-grade products”

“Well, yours is the only place still open and I need to get this shit wrapped up.” He shifted and Sakura saw for the first time that there was a boy hidden behind him.  “What color was the tarp, brat?”

“ …Here, how is it here, something is here- “

She massaged her temples and stared at the source of the other Sakura’s anxiety.

The boy looked about her age, scrawny and dirty. Sakura saw now that he wasn’t taking shelter behind the man. No, the man had one hand locked around the back of the boy’s neck, holding him in place. The boy screwed his mouth shut dramatically, miming silence. The man groaned.

“I’m sorry sir, but I’m afraid we’re in the process of closing.”

Sakura had never heard her aunt’s voice so cold.

“C’mon, don’t give me that. We’ll be fast. You must have something sturdy in the back, like canvas.”

“We can’t help you.” Her aunt glared pointedly at the boy.

Sakura was confused. What was going on? Sure, children weren’t common in the store, but it wasn’t like they were banned. As far as she knew, her aunt had never turned away a customer before, even past closing time.

The man reached into a pocket on his green vest. He withdrew a small scroll and slid it across the counter to her aunt.

“Yeah, and I don’t want to be dealing with it either but it’s Hokage’s orders. Just sell us what we need and we’ll be out of your hair.”

Her aunt glared at him before taking the scrolling and opening it, eyes flying over the text.

What was in the scroll? She was so curious and working behind the counter was so boring.

“Fine,” Her aunt snapped. “Sakura!”

“Yes, m’am!” She straightened reflexively.

“Go to the back and get the bolt of canvas along the back wall.”

Sakura slid down from her stool and scurried to the back, finding the bolt with ease. Carrying it was another matter; it was bigger than she was and she wheezed as she dragged it back to the front. Just as she was rounding the corner, she saw the tower of over a hundred skein holders she had reorganized just that morning topple over, spilling wooden cylinders all over the floor.

The boy was dangling a foot above the floor, held up by scruff of his jacket by the shinobi

“God damnit!” the man yelled at the same time Sakura shrieked in wordless anger. “One fucking minute without problems! That’s all I want!” He gave the kid a rough shake.

“Let go of me, jerk!” the kid yelled, squirming. Sakura winced — his volume did not mix well with her perpetual headache. “I didn’t even touch it, it just fell like that all on its own!”

The man cursed and released the boy. 

“Get out your wallet,” he commanded. The boy blanched, still sprawled on their shop floor.

“Aw come on, it wasn’t even that bad-“

“Now! You’re going to pay for five yards of that canvas to replace what you destroyed. Pay. Up.”

The boy muttered and pulled out a frog-shaped wallet.

“Oy, Grannie, how much for the stuff?”

Her aunt glared at him before quoting him a price easily twice what Sakura knew the fabric was worth.

She opened her mouth to object but a sharp look from her aunt shut her up.

The boy took out half of the frog’s contents and slammed it on the counter.  Her aunt measured out the yardage and cut the fabric, efficient and silent. Once done, she handed the parcel to the shinobi, who had been leaning against the counter with a smug expression.

“Bet you’re gonna think twice about pulling that stunt again. The Hokage isn’t going to let you off the hook every time. ”

“The old man can’t get me in trouble if he can’t find me! See ya!” The boy turned and ran out the door, but not before chucking something at the shinobi.

The man ducked and the object sailed over him. Despite how mean the man was, Sakura was impressed by reflexes, especially when her own were too slow to avoid the small pellets that rained behind the counter.

The thick stink of animal manure filled the shop that had been so boring only minutes before.

“Stink bombs?!” Kagami shrieked. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

It took Sakura and her aunt the entire evening to air out the shop, her aunt muttering curses under her breath the entire time. It wasn’t until the sun had been gone for several hours that they returned to the apartment upstairs and prepared a simple dinner.

Asking her aunt about the boy was a dead end. Her attempts at starting a conversation were quickly shut down by grunts from Kagami, who dragged herself to bed after inhaling her food.

As Sakura laid in bed, waiting for sleep, her mind obsessed over the dirty boy.

Unfortunately, math was one of her skills, which made it difficult to ignore when things didn’t add up. How did her aunt know the boy? It was obvious she knew him, or at least knew who he was. She’d never seen him inside the shop before or in the surrounding area of her aunt’s shop.

While Kagami wasn’t as logical in her judgements as Sakura’s mother, she wasn’t a whimsical person. She must have had a reason to react to the boy in that way.

He must have done something to Aunt Kagami, she thought. Some past wrong that her aunt couldn’t forget. It was the most logical explanation.

She went to sleep with a grin, excited to have something interesting to think about.

Her mission began the moment she woke up.

It’s a game, she decided. Her aunt was off limits, she needed to get the information from the boy.

“Can I go out to play with the other kids?”

Kagami gaped at her.

“Did you kill Sakura and take her place? I could have sworn you asked to go outside.”

“Mh-hm. It’s so nice out and Sarei from down the street said they were gonna play tag today.”

“Well, I guess that’s fine. There’s going to be an adult there, right?”

Not at all. “Yep! Sarei’s parents are going to be around for the day.”

Her aunt scratched her nose and looked at Sakura quizzically. “Are you sure you aren’t being blackmailed or something?”

“No m’am!”

“Alright,” said her aunt, “but come back before dinner and save your energy. I’m supposed to receive a shipment tonight and I could use help organizing.”

“I will, thank you!” She scurried out the door before her aunt could change her mind.

She made it out the door and finished tying her shoes and promptly realized she had no idea of how to find the boy. The village had been her home her entire life, and even though she wasn’t particularly social, it wasn’t like she was a complete hermit. She still saw plenty of people through her parents and their family.

Grumbles from her stomach reminded her that she had also neglected to eat breakfast.

Step 1, she decided, was to feed her body. She could think while eating.

Her luck was in. There was a farmer’s market just down the street and she was able to buy a bread roll. That was one positive to staying with Aunt Kagami; while the majority of her work was unpaid, her aunt let her keep any tips customers gave her for delivery orders. It helped that she amped up her hospitality for the wealthier clients. It also helped that she was an adorable kid with pink hair.

Taking a seat on a bench to eat, she measured her options. One of her father’s field guides had a fascinating section about animal tracking. It talked a lot about knowing the specific habits of your target. For example, the common deer that lived in the woods to the north of Konoha tended to graze in clusters of 3-4, usually composed of a doe and several fawns. In contrast, the Red-Hoofed Deer that made their home in the Land of Tea were apparently known for moving in huge herds, often over 20 animals. This had a large impact on their needs as individuals; due to their size, herds of Red-Tailed Deer needed to stay close to food and water sources that could support their numbers.

The boy might not be a prey animal, but she could study his behaviors like one.

Her aunt had recognized him almost immediately, so he was likely well-known in the area. That was another advantage of the farmer’s market — nothing compared to the gossip that took place between bored merchants. Sakura made herself a nuisance around the stalls, ducking and hiding with invisible playmates as an excuse to eavesdrop. In her reasoning, irritated store owners were likely to vent their frustrations to their friends and she could at least get caught up on local gossip, even if it didn’t help her mission.

It took her an hour of lurking to make any progress, and even then, it felt like cheating. Aunt Kagami had apparently decided she would also socialize this morning and Sakura had to duck and hide to avoid her. If her aunt found out she was lying about having friends, she would never hear the end of it.

“Did you know the monster brat had the nerve to come into my store yesterday?”

“Oh Kami,” the vendor said. “Why is it always the busiest weeks that it acts up?”

“Right? I’ll have to keep a close eye on my new inventory when it arrives tonight.”

“Ooh, what do you have scheduled?”

“A shipment of new pigments from Kiri, apparently they’re supposed to be extremely durable in dyes, but…” She trailed off and Sakura had to sneak closer to hear the rest of the exchange. “They come in a hyper-concentrated powder for portability.”

“If the monster brat finds out…” Both her aunt and the merchant shivered.  “I just don’t understand why they let that thing loose in public. We have the police force and T&I for a reason.”

“I’m just thankful it doesn’t live in this district. Imagine what our lives would be like!”

“Kami, I can only. Although, it’s never bothered anybody in the red light district….”

“Well, you know what they say: don’t shit where you eat.”

The vendor grunted in agreement and they moved on to discussing the incoming summer storms while Sakura retreated to think. She meandered down the street and mulled over what information she knew about the boy, starting with the day before.

First, while Sakura herself wasn’t usually one for mischief, some of the children of other merchant families were. When they were caught, their parents marched them in front of the person they had wronged, made them apologize, and then begged for forgiveness for themselves while making assurances that their child would never be caught again. Maybe it was just the practice of people whose livelihood depended on good relationships, and normal families didn’t care as much. The shinobi with the boy hadn’t acted like any sort of family member, let alone a friend. Either the boy didn’t have any family to keep him accountable, or they weren’t from a social class that placed value on social capital.

Second, the boy wasn’t ashamed. At all. Neither her aunt’s nor the shinobi’s hostility phased him, so this was definitely not a new thing for him.

Lastly, he must have a death wish if he was pranking shinobi. Only someone absurdly reckless would cause enough trouble that the Hokage was involved.

Who the hell was this boy and what was his deal?

It was nearing noon and Sakura found herself sweaty and exhausted. Even with the small amount of muscle she had gained while helping Aunt Kagami, Sakura wasn’t exactly what adults would call a sturdy child. After her illness, she sometimes found breaths harder take, like she just couldn’t get enough oxygen in her lungs.

Why hurry? If she were the boy, she would make herself scarce from the area for a least a few days. And besides, she wanted to pace herself. It wasn’t like she had much else to do for the remaining few months of her stay.

When she made it back to her aunt’s flat, she flopped exhausted on the floor of the living room, sunburnt and sweaty.

“ Pathetic. Why are you so content to be weak? ”

That was the clearest the other girl’s voice had ever been. Sakura listened for a moment, making sure her aunt wasn’t in the apartment before responding.

“It’s not like I’ve had a lot of time to run around. Also I’d rather read,” Sakura grumbled.

“ You’ll be slaughtered by the first enemy who finds you .”

“I guess it’s a good thing that I don’t plan on fighting any time soon, then.”

“ Enemies are everywhere, maggot. ”

“Not if you’re a civilian,” Sakura snapped back. “I don’t want to be a shinobi and I have no reason to fight. Or kill. I’m gonna be like my dad and collect books and help my mom with the business.”

“ You’re a fool. They’ll never let you go. ”

“It’s not like anyone can make me enroll in the ninja academy if I don’t want to.” She flopped over, wiping at her burnt forehead and tapping her heal against the floor mat.

“ If you think enemies will let you live just because you’re ‘not a shinobi’, ” the other girl said, mocking, “ then you are sorely mistaken. What happens next time another hidden village decides yours is a threat? What happens when strike forces invade and cut down everything in their path? Do you think they’ll take the time to ask each person if they’re a civilian? ”

Sakura didn’t answer. Ghostly images flashed in front of her eyes, of blurry figures backlit by fire, marching down a street. Person-sized smudges littered the ground at their feet.

“Stop it!” she said, clapping her hands over her ears.

“ What happens, ” the other girl continued, “ when you and your family are ambushed and slaughtered by bandits outside the village walls? Do you think they’ll care that you never wanted to fight? ”

Carts overturned, canvas tops slashed. The faces of her mother and father pressed against the earth by heavy boots. Streams of blood winding through the mud. The smell of wet earth, gore, and smoke in her nose.

“Shut up!” Sakura cried.

The voice was almost a shout now.

“ Or what happens when the threat comes from inside the village? When you’re attacked in your own home?! Will you just read a book and wait for them to finish up as they- ”

Her family’s front door bursting open, rope binding her hands, gag jammed in her mouth as—

“Stop it!” she screamed before she could fully register the images and in a blind panic, she slammed her forehead against the hard wood floor.

Feet pounded up the stairs and Sakura cradled her throbbing skull.

“Sakura! Are you okay?” That was her Aunt Kagami.

The sharp pain in her forehead was horrible, but the other girl was mercifully silent.

“I’m… I’m fine, Auntie.”

“What happened, Sakura?” Her aunt lifted Sakura’s face. “Oh, Sweetie, what did you do?” She rubbed a thumb over the quickly swelling area and it came away red. Sakura fought back nausea.

“Dizzy. Got dizzy and tripped and hit my head.”

“Oh honey, let’s get you cleaned up.”

She was guided into the bathroom. Her aunt picked her off the floor and placed her on the edge of the bath tub while she rifled through the cabinets. Kagami reappeared with a small first aid kit and wiped at the cut.

“Let’s also do something about that sunburn,” she said. “Strip, young lady.”

Sakura did, folding her clothes in a neat stack while her aunt grabbed a bottle of lotion. She leaned back against the tile wall, closing her eyes as her aunt’s soothing hands moved over the burnt skin on her shoulders and face.

“Turn around.” Sakura complied. Her aunt’s hands paused over the small of her back before moving back to her shoulders. Sakura heard her mutter something, but the rhythmic pressure was putting her to sleep. She was vaguely aware of her aunt lifting her from the edge of the tub.

Aunt Kagami carried her to her bedroll in the corner of their bedroom and Sakura let herself be tucked in.

She fell asleep as soon as her eyes closed.

“Okay, if I were a weird boy who everyone hates, where would I be?” Sakura muttered as she adjusted her obnoxiously large sunhat. Aunt Kagami had ended up confining her to the shop for two full days, worrying over her at every turn. Her aunt probably did love her, but Sakura guessed Aunt Kagami was really worried about her mother’s wrath at finding her only child injured at the hands of her sister-in-law.

Kagami hadn’t agreed to let her “play with friends” unless she slathered herself in sunscreen, wore the obnoxious hat, and kept a full canteen of water by her side at all times. It also didn’t help that she still had two bandaids plastered over the cut on her forehead.

She spent that morning canvassing the civilian sector, but found no signs of the boy.

For some reason, the quest for the prankster kept her occupied, even after nearly a week of fruitless searching went by. She found she enjoyed roaming the village, and had gained a very detailed internal map of the area.

It was nearly two weeks after she first saw him that she had a thought, and smacked herself on the head for missing something so obvious. She’d seen no signs of him, meaning that while the merchants knew of him, he might not be a frequent visitor to the area. The visit to her aunt’s shop was probably a fluke. If he called the Hokage “old man”, stayed away from civilians unless absolutely necessary, and targeted mostly ninjas he would likely hang around an area with the fewest number of civilians… which also happened to be the areas with the highest number of shinobi.

She didn’t know much about the ninja population; she only knew that they didn’t have many reasons to enter the civilian side of the village. Based on her father and Rat, they were also secretive.

She perched on the cement pillars that lined the bridge over the river and tapped her chin.

Could she stake out ninja stores? Probably not. Unlike the merchant stores, shinobi outlets were scattered around the village. There was a shinobi wing of the hospital, but that was across the village and she doubted the boy would spend his days pranking doctors and nurses.

If it were any other kid, she might think that he might be in a pre-academy class, but given what she had witnessed, he probably wasn’t a dedicated book worm like her.

This time, she did smack herself on the forehead.  Ninja headquarters. The Hokage Tower. The highest concentration of shinobi in the village.  If she were a loud menace who plagued shinobi enough to be on the Hokage’s radar, then she would stay right around ground zero… which also happened to be on the other side of the village from her aunt’s neighborhood. Having the merchant sector near the main gate was convenient for civilians, but highly inconvenient for young girls stalking wannabe pranksters. 

She tried to remember the last time she had visited that side of Konoha. At least she had easy directions to the tower itself, since it sat almost directly beneath the Hokage Monument. It would take her upwards of an hour to walk to headquarters and she cursed her tiny legs and low energy. If she had more stamina, she might be able to jog there in half the time.

“Weak,” the girl muttered.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

The earliest she could get out of her aunt’s house would probably be midmorning. Overall, Aunt Kagami was thrilled Sakura was (supposedly) making friends, but still counted on her help in the shop in the mornings. If she was able make it to the headquarters by midday, that would give her a 3 hour window to stake out the area before starting her trip back home, getting her home a little before sundown. She’d have to bring snacks… and water… and her hat.

“ Why would he even want to talk to you? ”

That was a good point. She might be interested (obsessed) with meeting him, but he might not even remember her. But that was fine, she decided. She was stubborn. It was already too late for her to make the trip today, but she could plan to make to go on Friday.

“There’s a kickball game at the park in the center of town tomorrow,” she said to Kagami over their quiet dinner.

“Ah? That’s nice.” Her aunt was slumped over the table, watching soup dribble out of her spoon with a vacant expression.

“I’d like to go, if that’s okay? A few of my friends will be there with their parents. I’ll wear sunscreen and lots of drink water.”

If Kagami zoned out anymore, she’d start drooling.

“Auntie.”

Kagami yawned.

“Auntie!”

“WhuAH! What?”

“Can I play kickball with my friends tomorrow in the park?”

“Are any of their parents going to be there?”

“Yes!”

“Fine, fine, you can go. Just remember to wear sunscreen and drink lots of water.”

“Yes, Auntie.” Sakura’s eyes were going to roll out of her head.

After the older woman dragged herself into their bedroom and Sakura got to work collecting her things for the next day. Hopefully her aunt wouldn’t question the amount of snacks she was taking from the cupboard.

The next morning she sped through her duties, stacking bolts and sorting product in record time. Kagami even whistled in appreciation. Finally, her list was completed and she was given permission to leave for the day.

“Bye Aunt Kagami!” she hollered as she dashed out the door.

Once on the street, she patted her satchel to make sure it was secure, tugged her hat into place, and set out on her mission.

The main road, which ran down the entire length of the village like an artery, would take her directly to HQ. Parks, police stations, and the hospital were in line with it, which was both good and bad fore her. Hopefully, her kickball alibi would give her a reason to be out in the area, in case word got back to her aunt.

A half hour into her walk, she noticed herself starting to get dizzy. While her stamina had improved during her time searching for the prankster, it still wasn’t up to snuff with other kids her age. A quick break wouldn’t hurt.

A large park near the center of the village marked the halfway point of her walk and she chose it as her snack spot. She sat beneath a tree, thankful for a shady spot so she could finally take off her hat. She’d actually grown fond of it, as annoying as it was. Her aunt was right, her skin was so pale that it burned in minutes if unprotected.

Families and children dotted the grassy area. It wasn’t much different from the park near her aunt’s apartment, but there were far more shinobi families here. She spotted more than a few Hitai-ate and green vests.

A loud cluster of black-haired children were playing near the swings. She watched as they chased each other in what must be a game of tag. A few of them were about her age, with a pair of older kids loitering within shouting distance.

When one of the younger kids turned, she saw a fan-like design on the back of his shirt.

Uchiha.

She pulled out the coin her father had given her while she observed them. She practiced everyday, trying to keep the coin on the tip of her finger as she moved her hand about. She was able to keep it balanced, but hadn’t quite managed to move it from finger to finger. Even though it was frustrating and slow work, it served as a good occupier for her hands while thinking.

Her mother had made sure to describe the founding clans of Konoha in basic detail so that she didn’t mortally offend someone important. She had learned about the Hyuuga, who valued etiquette above all else, the Akimichi who were affiliated with almost every restaurant in the village in some way, the Aburame who were reclusive and rarely worked with outsiders, and the Uchiha, who made up the military police of the village.

“That doesn’t mean you can trust anyone with a fan on their back,” her mother had warned. “Always look for the badge. Being part of a clan does not mean someone’s a good person.”

The coin swayed slowly on the tip of her index finger as she watched them, thoughtful. Shinobi kids didn’t look very different from regular kids, if she was being honest. Sure, they might do fancy jumps and dodges as they played, but without the clothing and distinctive coloring, she wouldn’t have known they were any different from her, let alone going to be dangerous warriors in the future. 

Shrugging, she pulled out the banana from her bag and took a bite.

“Are you lost?” a voice asked from behind her. She inhaled a mouthful of banana and hacked loudly.

She heard laughter and turned to snap at the person and froze.

It was actually two people — the older Uchiha kids she’d noticed earlier. The one who spoke grinned down at her. She was immediately annoyed.

“It’s rude to sneak up on someone like that!”

He laughed again and rubbed the back of his head.

“Ahh, sorry about that! We didn’t mean to startle you,” said the cheerful boy. His shorter companion just smiled at her. “By the way, are you here all on your own?”

She swiftly pulled her fork from her satchel and pointed it up at his face. “Back off, creep! I’m not going with you!”

“No, no, no- that’s not- C’mon, help me, Itachi!” He pleaded to the other boy. The other boy crouched to her level.

“I’m sorry about my cousin,” he said with a wry smile. “Shisui is an idiot-“

“Oi!”

“-But means no harm. We saw you sitting over here by yourself and wanted to make sure you weren’t lost.”

She lowered the fork from her defensive position. “Ah… Sorry. I guess you’re too young to be a pervert.” Shisui squawked but both she and the other boy ignored him. “I’m fine, just here eating my lunch with my aunt’s permission, of course.”

“Of course,” the boy echoed, still smiling. “Does that calm your chivalric drive, Shisui?”

“I was just trying to do something nice, Pinkie! I didn’t come here to be accused of being a pervert! And who even leaves a six-year-old on her own! In a park! In a ninja village!”

“I’m eight, not six! Why does everyone think I’m so young?” she grumbled, “and my name is Sakura, not Pinkie!”

The boy in front of her held out a hand. “Sakura. That’s a lovely name. I’m Itachi, as my cousin mentioned.”

A crash and raised voices made all three turn their heads. A boy had fallen out of a tree and looked about ready to cry.

“Ah shi… nto shrine, that’s your brother. Here come the waterworks.”

Itachi stood, brushing off his knees and smiling down at her again. Sakura blushed in return. It was so weird to find other kids who weren’t immediately put off by her personality. “Well, I’ll be off now. Please stay safe, Sakura. It was nice to meet you..”

“It was nice to meet you too, Itachi.”

He wandered out to the grassy area where a small boy was pointing at another child with an accusatory finger, yelling something indecipherable as he wiped at his tears. Sakura resumed shoveling her lunch into her face before remembering that Shisui was sitting beside her. She choked on another mouthful of banana and Shisui pounded her back lightly.

“Kami, kid. Breathe between bites.”

She side-eyed him, but continued eating. Friendly clan kids might be an unexpected development, but she couldn’t let them distract her from her plan. If she left now, it would  take her another half hour to get to the Hokage’s Tower, leaving her a little less than two hours of stakeout time.

“So what was the coin you were playing with earlier?”

“Hrrrrkkk!”

“If you’re gonna keep doing that then stop eating!”

“Then you’ve got to stop surprising me like a jerk!” Her loudness covered the slightly tremor in her voice. She was normally so good at hiding her coin practice and didn’t want to break her promise to her father.

“It looked like some type of exercise.”

“It… It is. It was supposed to be a secret.”

“Then I won’t tell. Secrets are important. Can you show me?”

It was a lovely day. Leaning against the tree, she looked up at the filtered light. The other girl usually started muttering if someone was dangerous. She was noticeably silent. Shisui might not be so bad.

“Sure,” she said, deciding to trust him, “but I’m still not very good at it.” The coin was pulled back out of her bag and she placed it on the palm of her hand. Her control still wan’t good enough to move it from her other fingers, but she could usually transfer it from the palm of her hand to her thumb.

Her tongue stuck out of the corner of her mouth as she focused on moving the coin with the tip of her thumb. It worked for a second. The boy sneezed, startling her.

“H-Hey! I almost had it!”

“Sorry, sorry! It was an accident. It looked like you might have had it?”

“Not really. It’s hard when I get distracted.” The coin was returned to the palm of her hand.

“Do you want help with it?”

She gaped at him. “R-really? That would be great!” A thought struck her and she grimmaced. “You probably shouldn’t.”

He glanced at her, puzzled. “Why not? You’re not secretly a shinobi spy from another village, right?”

“I’m not a shinobi. I’m not even planning on becoming one.” She looked away, suddenly ashamed, although she couldn’t place why.

He grinned at her. He had beautiful eyelashes. “Not a problem! So what if you’re not a shinobi? This is just a guess, but you come from a civilian family, right?”

Hesitantly, she nodded. He was close enough.

Shisui also leaned back against the tree and they both stared upwards.

“Everyone makes such a big deal about having shinobi parents or being from a clan. I mean, yeah, it does have some benefits. Usually you get trained earlier, you might learn some cool moves, have other kids to practice with. But it really isn’t as big of a leg-up as you might think.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re an Uchiha! I bet you have tons of tutors and people to teach you.” If he was trying to convince her otherwise, he wasn’t going to get anywhere.

“You’re a rude little brat, you know that?” Despite the admonishment, he grinned. “Being part of a clan doesn’t mean everything is easy. And even if you’re born into one, it doesn’t always mean you get the benefits. Take me, for example.” He tapped under one eye. “I’ve got fancy eye powers and tons of great moves. Some people consider me talented. And a genius. And super handsome. But I’m very modest about my skills, because I got them through years of hard work.”

He ignored her snort.

“The best people I’ve ever known got their skills through hard work and dedication. Several of my most-skilled teammates don’t come from major clans. A few come from civilian families, like the Fourth Hokage. Some are orphans.” A bittersweet smile dawned on his face. “As long as you work as hard as you can, learn as much as possible, and stay true to your goals, you can become a strong shinobi, no matter your background.”

He leaned in to whisper in her ear dramatically. “You can also surprise the fuck out of prissy clan kids when they challenge you to a spar and you beat their asses!”

She grinned back at him, relishing the foul language.

“So, all of that was to say that I don’t care if you’re not from a shinobi family or you don’t even want to become a shinobi at all. I just want to teach a rude girl a few party tricks to impress boys in the future.”

She shoved at his shoulder.

“Besides, it’s not like I’ve got anything else going on besides babysitting. So I’m guessing you’re supposed to keep the coin on your hand and twist your arm without it falling off?”

“Kind of? It’s actually more like this…”

She was more relaxed than she had been before their conversation. The coin rested in her palm and she felt calm inside. Touching the tip of her thumb to the side of the coin, she tried to picture the sticky invisible glue connecting her skin and the metal. As she lifted her thumb, the coin came with it. Proudly, she rotated her wrist, moving her thumb and the coin in a slow circle.  “My… the person who taught me said to practice like this until I could pick up the coin with each finger. Once I can do that, then I have to move it from the tip of one finger to another, but it keeps getting stuck. I can move it from my palm with my thumb and my index finger, but none of the rest. I’m not going to give up, though!”

She looked up, not sure what she was expecting to see. She was surprised when her gaze connected directly with his, which was now blood red.

She gasped and scrambled backwards, coin forgotten.

He snapped out of his focus and then immediately looked embarrassed. “Ah shit, sorry! Didn’t mean to startle you. I spend most of my time around other Uchiha or my teammates or Itachi, who’s both. I’ll put ‘em away.” He shut his eyes and reopened them. The red was replaced by black.

“What… what was that? I didn’t know eyes could change color! Does it hurt?”

“Nah. I mean, it did when I got them. It’s called a Dōjustu. In other words, fancy family eye magic. Sometimes it helps me see things.”

“You mean like chakra?”

He looked a little taken aback. “You know about…? Alright, whatever. Such a weird kid. But yeah, it helps me see chakra.” The sharp look returned to his eyes and Sakura was suddenly reminded of her mother playing chess. “That exercise was just more complicated than I thought when I saw you earlier.  How long have you been practicing?”

She was starting to get uncomfortable with this line of questioning. “A few months?”

This time, his jaw dropped.

“Kami-sama, brat! What the hell is up with these kids?! Urgh!”

“Is that too long? I know I haven’t been practicing as often as I could be, but…”

“No! No, didn’t mean to freak you out. It’s not bad, definitely not bad,” he stressed. “It’s just… unexpected. Okay!” He straightened up and clapped his hands. “I’m going to help you with this and give you some Important Ninja Advice for the future!”

Shisui was a huge dork, Sakura decided, but she really liked him.

“Can you do the trick again? I want to make sure I’m not gonna give you bad advice.”

She nodded. Almost shyly, she added “You can use your magic eyes, if you want.”

“Are you sure? It’s okay if you don’t want me to.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m not scared.” She found the coin in the grass and placed it back on her palm. She tried to reach inside of her, against picturing the invisible force that connected metal and skin. For some reason, keeping the coin on the tip of her thumb was a little earlier. A glance up at Shisui and he nodded at her, encouraging her to try more.

What was it about her thumb that made it easier?  The coin returned to the center of her palm and she took a steadying breath. She bent her middle finer and touched its tip to the coin.

She gasped when it wiggled on her palm. “Did you see that?! It moved! It hasn’t done that before.”

“Very nice!” He tapped his chin thoughtfully, staring off at the kids playing in the field. His pupils were still bright red, but Sakura found it didn’t creep her out as much as it did the first time. “Okay, here’s what I think is going on. I’m no teacher, but I know my way around fingers.” He looked at her like he expected her to laugh or something.

Sakura just stared back.

“Ugh, you’re no fun. It makes sense that it’s harder with your other fingers, because you’ve got fewer Tenketsu in them than-“

“What are Tenketsu?” she interrupted.

“Uh… Ah man, I knew I should have actually read my textbooks. So you know pressure points? They’re like that, but with your chakra system. You’ve got 361 of them all over your body and they act like little gates that taken in and release chakra. Can I borrow your hand for a minute?”

She lifted it and he rotated it so her palm was facing up. He tapped the tip of her thumb.

“For almost everyone, the Tenketsu in the hands and the feet are the easiest ones to use. With enough focus, you could theoretically expel or take in chakra from any one of them, but it takes a lot of training and a lot of skill. Even most Jōnin — advanced shinobi — only use the points in their hands and feet, because controlling chakra precisely from the other ones is really hard to do. Just like how the points in your hands are easier to use than, say, the ones on your face or your elbows or something, there are some in your fingers that are easier than others. Also, for some reason, the person who taught you started with a particularly tricky exercise.”

She opened her mouth to object and he held up his hand before she could say anything. ”I’m not saying it was wrong, and you said it was a secret, so don’t worry - I’m not going to press for details, although I am super curious.” He tried to make puppy-dog eyes at her and she giggled. “For most people, it’s easier to use all the Tenketsu in the hand at once, versus tracking individual points. The point in the thumb is more sensitive than the ones in your other fingers, so it’s less difficult to isolate. What I think — and again, this is just a guess — is that you’re trying to put the same amount of focus and chakra you use for your thumb through your other fingertips.”

“So I need to use more?”

“Nope!” he grinned. “This part is a little counterintuitive. That means-“

“I’m not a baby, I know what counterintuitive means, Shisui.”

He grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like “stupid genius kids” before continuing. “You’ll actually use a little bit less. If you flood it with too much, at best case your control will be sloppy. At worst, you could blow out your Tenketsu and permanently damage your chakra pathways.”

“So that’s why he didn’t want me to practice tree-walking on my own until I got this right!”

“Tree walking!?” Shisui shrieked. “They were teaching you to tree-walk? You’re only eight! What the hell?! Who the hell is this irresponsible teacher who’s letting an eight-year-old civilian kid tree walk?!”

“You said you wouldn’t ask too many questions!”

“Kaguya’s tits, Sakura! You’re just a little kid. Okay, this is the perfect segway to the Important Ninja Advice I mentioned earlier.”

He swiveled so he was facing her and she turned to mirror him. His mood changed so rapidly and it reminded of her dad. She tried to brush away the pang of longing she felt when she thought of her parents.

“I’m guessing that whoever told you about the coin trick and showed you tree walking also told you to hide it from everyone, and it was purely by accident that I caught you practicing earlier?”

She nodded.

“They were right to do so. You’ve got talent and you’re a fast learner. That’s a dangerous combination. I’d like to tell you that being a shinobi of Konoha means you can trust everyone in the village, but it’s not the case. You said earlier you that you don’t plan on becoming a shinobi, which is fine. If you do ever change your mind, remember this: talent puts you in danger. It can attract attention, both good and bad.”

“But I’m not talented. All I know is how to pick up coins with my thumb and walk a few steps up a tree.”

“You may not be a prodigy now, but I have a strong suspicion you will be. Sakura, I’ve seen so many talented kids get sucked into the system and then get spit back out. I wish I could tell you that you can trust your teammates. I wish I could tell you that you can trust the shinobi around the village or its leaders-“

He suddenly cut off, shaking slightly, and wiped a hand over his eyes. At some point, they’d turned bright red again.

“Shisui, are you okay?”

“Yeah. Just got a lot of things on my mind.” He smiled at her, apparently bouncing right back to his usually cheeriness. “So, my two pieces of advice for you are as follows: first, play with the amount of energy you use for each Tenketsu, and second, take your time and enjoy being a normal kid. It may save your life someday. Now, I’m gonna ask you a question one more time and you’re not allowed to stab me with your fork. Do you need someone to walk you home?”

“Oh no, you’ve made me late! I’m running out of time!” She hastily grabbed her belongings and returned them to her bag.

“What could a little girl possibly be late for on a weekend?”

“None of your business!” She stood and returned her sunhat to its normal place. Her etiquette lessons finally kicked in and she did a quick half-bow. “Thank you very much for the advice, Shisui! I’ll keep practicing, even if I don’t become a shinobi!”

He snatched off her hat, ruffled her hair, and placed it back on her head. Another wave of emotion and reminders of her father flowed through her and her eyes burned.

“My pleasure. See you around, Sakura.”

As she ran from the tree and Shisui, she turned and waved. He waved back as she rounded the corner, returning to the main road.

Itachi watched as his cousin finally walked back to their part of the park. He hadn’t turned away until the girl — Sakura — was out of sight. It was odd, to know her name. He was surprised she hadn’t recognized his voice.

Shisui came to his side and they stood in companionable silence. The break (the distraction) had been nice. It brought levity to the stress among current events.

In the field in front of them, Sasuke was still playing tag with the other Uchiha kids his age. Itachi was glad that Sasuke had a chance to be a child, or as close to a normal child as the second son of the clan head could be. It was far more than Itachi had. But it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. The last few days, he had tried to make it up to Sasuke, to make up for all of the experiences in the future he might never have if events followed their current trajectory.

“Itachi, stop thinking so hard. I can see smoke coming out of your ears.”

Shisui was right; anxiety would solve nothing. He coughed lightly into one palm and Shisui turned toward him.

“What?”

“You were over there for quite awhile.”

Shisui smiled fondly and Itachi was once again reminded how unlike other Uchiha his cousin was.

“She reminds me so much of you when you were young. So smart, so talented. So much potential. She’s just a kid.” They both turned back to Sasuke, who had been pushed to the ground and was laughing with another boy. “They’re all just kids. We were just kids.” He turned away from Itachi and drew in a ragged breath.

Itachi brushed his shoulder against Shisui’s and the older boy leaned against him. They stayed in the shade, savoring the afternoon.

Chapter Text

Why was the Hokage’s tower right next to academy? It wasn’t even a school day and the number of kids around the training yard was absurd. The amount of noise they were generating was also absurd. Had she ever made that much noise while playing? Actually, now that she thought it about, she wasn’t sure that she had every played like that with other children.

Had she made a mistake in coming here? For all she knew, the prankster wasn’t even going to show his face around this area. Sakura had stationed herself behind the corner of the academy, which gave her a line of site to both the entrance of the Hokage’s tower and what she assumed was the teacher’s lounge in the academy.

This meant that the training ground and its occupants were also within her line of site.

Which also meant that her headache was back in full force.

“ Why are you wasting your time trying to find someone who clearly doesn’t want to be found? ”

“Because he doesn’t make sense. I want to know why people hate him and I can’t find out why,” she said, rubbing her temples. “And I can’t ask my aunt because it’s against the rules.”

It was starting to get hotter the later the afternoon wore on. She was nearing the end of her water bottle and the sun was maybe an hour away from setting. If the prankster didn’t show soon, she’d admit defeat. Despite the boredom earlier in her stakeout, she wished she hadn’t responded to the other girl’s comments. If she ignored her for an hour or so, usually the other girl would fade into the background more easily.

Sakura was finally getting used to her. She had learned with trial and error that the other Sakura could hear her just fine if she whispered as quietly as possible. Apparently, when she tried to think her responses, it came across as jumbled babble.

The headaches had been getting more frequent since her parents had left. They were also getting more painful over time, usual building with the other girl’s snide comments. She’d thought about telling her parents, but whenever she thought about it, she remembered how much her parents had fought after her sickness. She could deal with a few headaches if it meant her dad would stay.

For the most part, the other girl was just an unwelcome commentary running in the back of her mind. At least she did have one use. The other girl became louder and more verbose when Sakura was nervous, and seemed to have a supernatural sense for dangerous people.There had been a few customers in her aunt’s shop that had caused the mumbles to escalate to conversation-volume. One of them had been a man Sakura later found out was known to treat orphans with particular cruelty. Another had been a boy maybe 10 years her senior. Her nose had burned with a chemical stink as she rang up his purchase, and her aunt had pulled her aside to warn her about the “medicines” the boy was known to sell on the side.

Despite the helpful pointers, having the other girl in her mind was not easy. Even on good days, it took Sakura effort to ignore the girl’s jabs. Sometimes she found herself caught up in her constant reminders that Sakura was a weakling, that she would not survive long enough to become an adult, that she would see her family die in front of her if she didn’t get stronger, that one day she-

She shook her head, dispelling the train of thought. There was no reason to listen to her fixation on Sakura’s weakness.

“ What are you goin to do when they spot you, maggot? ”

“I’ll tell them I’m waiting for a friend.”

“ They won’t believe you. You’ve stayed in the same location for too long. These are shinobi trained to look for intruders. ”

“In case you haven’t noticed — which I know for a fact you have since you always comment on it — I’m just skinny little girl, so there’s no way they could be suspicious of me.”

“ Do you really believe that children aren’t just as dangerous as adults? For all they know, you could be pretending to be a weakling to get close to sensitive information. A patrolling shinobi might kill you for just being in the area. ”

“Come on, how much damage could a little kid possibly do? Besides, it takes training to  be dangerous. It’s not like a kid my age could hurt an adult.”

The voice laughed in her head, mocking and cold. “ You should ask the boys from earlier, if you’re so certain of that. I could smell the blood on both of them the minute you entered the park. ”

Ice flooded Sakura’s veins. “What do you mean?”

The voice didn’t answer.

“What do you mean?!” she asked again, louder than intended. One of the kids in the training yard looked her way and Sakura cursed.

Scooping up her bag and water bottle, she retreated into the small glade of trees in front of the academy. One of them had large branches near its base, and Sakura was able to haul herself up onto a branch midway up the tree. There wasn’t as good of a view of the Hokage’s tower from here, but at least she still had a clear view of the academy entrance and training ground. Besides, her time was running out.

Once she was settled, she turned her focus inward again.

“Could you tell me what you meant? I won’t interrupt you again.”

There was silence from inside and Sakura resigned herself to finishing her stakeout in boredom.

“ They both had the aura of killers. ”

True to her word, Sakura waited.

“Neither made a sound when they approached you or let down their guard. They both had the stink of blood — not recent, but within the last two days. It was faint.”

“How do you know all this?”

“ I just do .”

“But how can you know things I don’t? I’ve never seen auras or smelled blood or anything like that. When did you learn?” Sakura expected the other girl to stop responding, as she usually did when Sakura tried to extract information from her.

“ …I never learned. I wasn’t lying when we first spoke. ”

“What do you mean?” Sakura asked.

“ I don’t recall existing before that point. What I know… they’re not memories. ”

“Then what are they? How can you know so much if you’re just a piece of my brain?”

The girl didn’t respond. Sakura sighed and leaned back against the tree. Many of the kids had left the area over the last half hour but there were still a few stragglers.

One boy was left in the corner of the training field, punching at a wooden pole.

A group of three were still in the main area, made up of two girls and a boy. Wait, no. Two boys and a girl. One of the boys had black hair long enough to be pulled into a spiky poof at the back of his head. The girl had the brightest blond hair Sakura had ever seen. Even from this distance she was beautiful.

“Wow, she’s so pretty!”

The girl and the black-haired boy seemed to be play-fighting, while the other was sitting off to the side, eating a bag of chips. For a moment, Sakura wished she wasn’t so awkward so she could go talk to them. Maybe they would let her join them?

“They’re not playing,” whispered the voice.

Sakura leaned forward, interested. “Then what are they doing?”

“ Watch and find out. ”

She had assumed they were just roughhousing. On further inspection, she realized the blonde and the boy moved in patterns. The girl seemed to be trying to kick at the boy’s feet. Faint grunts of frustration drifted from the clearing.

“They’re… training?”

“ Sparring is the most effective way to hone combat skills. ”

New people, adults, arrived to the training ground. The kids stopped their sparring, running over to the adults who she assumed were their parents. A tall man with a yellow ponytail scooped up the girl and sat her on his shoulders.

Sakura was reminded of her father again and looked away. She still had at least a month or two before her parents returned. She didn’t remember missing them this much during her previous stays with Aunt Kagami.

The small group left the training field, kids in tow. The boy at the post was the only one left in the field.

“What about the other boy? Why is he practicing the same moves over and over?”

No answer. The other girl was probably annoyed with Sakura.

Why was he still here at the yard? It must be approaching dinner time. Aside from Kagami, there was no one waiting for her at home. Was it the same for this boy? None of the other kids in the training ground had talked to him. He must not have many friends.

If she were in his shoes, would she feel lonely? She wasn’t sure; she had never been one for socializing. She wasn’t even sure she had ever had a real friend. Sure, there were the children of her parents’ trading partners, but none of them made any effort to talk to her. They played their own games and ignored the quiet girl buried in her books.

There was probably something wrong with her, Sakura decided. Kids were supposed to want friends. Like the headaches, though, it wasn’t worth bringing up. It did leave her with a different question.

“Are you lonely?” she asked the other girl.

No response.

And then.

“ How could I be lonely? ”

“I don’t know.” Sakura sighed again and continued  watching the boy who showed no signs of stopping his assault on the training post. “It’s just… you seem so unhappy all of the time.”

The other girl gave no response, but Sakura carried on. It wasn’t like she had anything else to occupy herself.

“You always seem quieter when I’m busy and you seem the happiest when I’m practicing the coin trick from my father.” An idea was forming in her mind and she continued excitedly. “You keep mentioning you want me to get stronger so I can protect myself.”

“ You’re weak. Survival is an instinct, one you lack. ”

“Why do you want me to become stronger so badly? It’s not like I’m getting into fights or anything! There are plenty of people in the village who never fight who are just fine.”

When the girl spoke, her voice had an odd unsteady quality that Sakura never heard before.

“ There will always be danger. It’s everywhere in this village, as if baked into the air. ”

“How can you tell? Can you see everything I see?”

“No,” the other girl answered, clearly bitter. Sakura was surprised the other girl was being so candid. She wanted to extend this conversation as long as possible, even as the headache worsened. New information was just beyond her reach.

“ For the most part, it’s only flashes, whispers, and that smothering sense of wrong that coats this entire place. It’s like I’m blind except when you feel any form of danger. I hate it, ” she whispered. “ I hate being stuck in here without the power to protect myself.”

“That’s why you want me to be stronger, isn’t it? You’re afraid and you can’t do anything about.” Sakura rested her chin on her knees and waited.

The girl didn’t respond, but Sakura could tell she was still at the forefront, somehow.

“Would it help if I became a shinobi?”

“What?” It was the first time Sakura had heard the girl exhibit an emotion other than contempt.

“If it would help, I could try to find people to teach me to protect myself. I mean, I don’t want to be a shinobi, but I’m sure I could find someone to teach me basic self-defense.”

The words Shisui had told her earlier echoed in her mind.

“Everyone has been warning me that this village isn’t safe. First it was my dad, then my mom, and now you and Shisui. When I was talking to him… it gave me a bad feeling. Not about him,“ she corrected swiftly, “but about things in general.”

She took in a breath, finding her chest constricting with worry.

“You’re right, I think. It doesn’t matter if I don’t want to fight. Even if I follow my family, I’ll still need to know how to protect myself. I just… I don’t want to hurt anyone. Everything that Shisui told me, all the warnings from my dad… It’s scary, but…”

The other Sakura didn’t say anything.

“Is it weird that all of this stuff makes me want to learn more?”

“ You would do that? ” asked the other girl. “ You told your father you didn’t want to fight. You would be disappointing him if you decided to pursue it .”

“He would be sad, but I think he’d understand. Besides, if it means learning how to protect us both, it’s worth it.”

Sakura watched as the boy at the post finally started to slow down, his punches losing some of their energy. He collapsed at the base of the pole. He didn’t seem satisfied with his work, she decided, but he did seem happy.

“Thank you.” It was so soft that she almost missed it. She smiled and closed her eyes.

After the heat of midday, the cool air blowing in on the early evening breeze was refreshing.

“ I suppose if you’re going to learn for my sake, then I should give you something in return. ”

“Oh?” Sakura cracked open one eye.

“ That boy you’ve been looking for? He’s been sitting on the swing on the left side of the building for the last hour. ”

“WHAT!? Why didn’t you tell me?!”

As she snatched up her satchel and sun hat and leapt to the ground, she heard something that she had never heard before.

The other girl laughed. Sakura couldn’t help but smile as she ran.

Gasping and once again cursing her bookworm’s body, she rounded the corner of the building and saw her target.

Sure enough, there was the boy, sitting on a swing beneath a large tree. His head was tilted downward, face obscured, but the hair, the goggles, the terrible orange outfit — it was definitely the prankster

“YOU!” she shrieked, pointing at him, not slowing her trajectory. “IT’S YOU!”

He jumped from the swing but his foot caught the chain and he face-planted in the sand. He flailed like a trapped animal and Sakura laughed in triumphant delight.

“D-DE-DEMON! THERE’S A DEMON AFTER ME! Somebody help! Iruka-sensei!” He kicked frantically at the chain and she cackled.

“Finally!” she yelled as she reached for him. At that moment, his foot came free and connected with her face. Her head snapped backwards in slow motion.

“ Would you like my assistance? ”

“Yes, please.”

Sakura suddenly broke free from her body.

Everything continued in slow motion and then three things happened rapid fire.

First, Sakura saw her hand reach forward faster than she had ever moved before. It snapped around the boy’s leg and her grip locked in place like a spring trap as he fell face down in the dirt again.

Second, she heard a yell from the steps of the academy. “Naruto! What have you done now?!”

“Shinobi, non-threat,” the other girl whispered to her.

Lastly, the boy reached into his pocket and pulled out something very familiar. Stink bombs.

Oh no.

“ Not dealing with those. You’re on your own. ”

Unfortunately, that was the exact moment that the other girl returned control back to Sakura who was promptly hit in the face by three of the stink bombs.

There might have been some reality, she would think later, where she had enough control of her faculties to block out the smell and not lose her grip on his leg. This, however, was not that reality.

He scrambled away as she clawed at her eyes, gagging furiously.

“ He’s getting away. You should run if you still want to catch him! ” The other girl whispered gleefully.

“Shut up!” She stood and looked around from stinging eyes.

“A-Are you okay, miss?” It was the man from the steps, approaching her slowly. Brown hair, a stack of books, and a scar across his nose.

“Fine, thank you,” she snapped. He looked friendly enough, but she found that she couldn’t quite care about being polite at the moment.

A flash of orange caught her eye. Her prey was escaping.

“YOU CAN’T RUN FROM ME, ASSHOLE! YOU’RE MINE!” She yelled and took off, sun hat flapping wildly as she ran.

“What the fuck?” whispered the the man. “What the fuck.”

Curse her stupid reading habits! Curse her parents who supported her hobbies! Curse her love of obscure animal facts! Curse it all!

Sakura wheezed as she ran, reminded once again why she preferred to stay indoors. Running was hard.

And why was the boy so good at it? He dodged easily between buildings and clusters of people, weaving so quickly she almost lost him a few times.

“Wait!” she called after him. “Please just wait for a second!”

“NO WAY!” he shouted back, not stopping. “YOU’RE A DEMON AND YOU WANT TO EAT ME!”

“What? No!” she gasped back. “I’m not-”

Wheeze.

“A demon-”

Wheeze.

“I just want to-”

Wheeze.

“Talk to you!”

Wheeze.

They both turned the corner down an alley and were met with a dead end.

“Oh thank Kami!” she gasped, collapsing to her knees and trying to catch her breath.

He reached into his pocket again and pulled out another stink bomb. “Stay back!” he warned, “I’m not afraid to use this!”

“Like I said before-” 

Wheeze.

“I just want to talk!”

He lowered the stink bomb.

“Hey, wait. I know you! You’re that annoying girl from the shop!”

“Annoying?! You don’t even know me!” Wheeze. “And I’m not the one who keeps throwing those gross things at people!”

“I dunno, you just got a face like uh… Um… One of those lizards! That spit acid at people!” He scrunched up his face, eyebrows snapping together and cheeks puffed up and mimed spitting at her. “And your hat is huge! It’s scary lookin’ like a demon!”

“Well, your goggles are stupid! And so’s your jacket! Who would even like that shade of orange?!”

“You should probably calm down,” the girl whispered, faint in her mind.

“Shut up!” she snapped.

“Orange is the best!” The boy yelled back, ignoring her outburst. “And my goggles aren’t stupid!”

There was a loud noise from overhead as a window slammed open and a woman stuck her head out.

“Go cause trouble somewhere else!” The woman threw a bucket of water out the window in their direction.

She and the boy moved to dodge it. Or at least tried to. They crashed into each other, knocking their heads together and both getting splashed.

They coughed, trying to get the gross taste of wash water out of their mouths.

The boy looked up and rubbed his head and glared at her. “You know what, I’m outta here. See ya!”

“Wait! I wanted to...!” He boy was gone. Her efforts were in vain.

“AUGH!”

“Shut up!” the woman in the window responded.

“ This place is less than charming ,” snarked the other girl.

“Tell me about it,” Sakura grumbled.

What was worse than wasting an entire day tracking down someone who didn’t want to be found? Realizing that it was getting dark. And that you were nowhere near home. And also remembering that you were scared of being outside at nighttime.

Where did everyone go all of a sudden? It was like the village flipped a switch and all of its people either went home or turned into creepy shadows staring at her as she walked down the street.

She had read about the wolves that lived outside the village. Wolves couldn’t climb walls, right?

Shivers wracked her body and she cursed past-Sakura for not thinking to bring a jacket. But why would she have brought one? There was no need as long as she had left in time! She blamed Shisui for throwing off her time table. Why did he have to be so nice and helpful?

Speaking of those creepy shadows, Sakura was fairly certain one of them had broken away from the wall and was walking somewhere behind her.

“ Behind you .”

She twisted and saw the shadow duck behind a wall. Still winded from earlier, she knew for a fact that she didn’t have the energy to run home. She settled for a fast semi-jog.

The shadow kept pace behind her and she tried to pick up her speed but found herself gasping.

“I know I’m too slow,” she whispered to herself before the other girl could say anything. She was coming up near the park. If she could find a good tree to hide behind, she might be able to wait out the shadow.

Instead, she felt a hand wrap around her mouth. She tried to scream but couldn’t make a sound. She felt another grasp at her upper arm and she remembered the images the other girl had flashed to her in her aunt’s apartment.

She bit down. Hard. Blood filled her mouth and there was a pained shout from behind her. She took off, burning through her last bit of energy.

She turned down the next street she saw and saw an open corner store. She ducked inside and collapsed behind a giant stack of rice bags.

“Is he here? Did I lose him?” she whispered, but there was no answer. The sound of running feet grew closer and a man stumbled into the store with a bleeding hand.

“Have you seen a little girl run by?” he asked the store clerk, breathing hard. Sakura hadn’t noticed the woman before, who had a mop in one hand and was leaning lazily against the register. Had she seen Sakura run in? Her back might have been turned. Or not. Either way, she crouched lower in her hiding spot.

“Why do you want to know? Are you some kind of pervert?” she asked.

“What?! No!” the man spluttered. He straightened and pulled out a badge. “Citizen’s Patrol. She’s out past the curfew for minors.”

“Uh huh, well, just give me a second and I’ll see if she’s here.” The woman glanced around her store, and looked directly at Sakura’s hiding spot. Making direct eye contact with her, she winked and turned back to the man.

“Well, I just searched top to bottom but didn’t see any little girls hiding in my shop. Guess you better search elsewhere.”

“Urgh, could you just-”

He took a step into the shop and the woman stuck out her mop handle and whacked him in the shin, causing him to yelp and jump back.

“Last I heard, Citizen’s Patrol,” she said the words with a sneer, “is just a group of prejudiced assholes who hate a very specific clan. I doubt that fancy badge would do much of anything if somewhere to actually call you on your bluff. Now scram, my store is closing.”

She waved the mop at the man’s head until he retreated and eventually slunk down the street.

“Come on out.”

Sakura peaked her head above the rice bags.

“Yes, you. Really think you can hide with that hair?”

She crept out and looked up at the woman, embarrassed. She was older than Sakura originally thought, older than both of her parents.

“Thank you for letting me hide in your store, ma’am. I really appreciate it. I’ll be going now.”

The woman grabbed her by the back of her collar.

“Okay, first: don’t call me m’am. Second: did you not hear a single word of what that fuckwad said? There’s a curfew for kids. You’ll just be tailed by another inept asshole or worse, Konoha PD. Do you really want to be dragged home by a member of the police?”

“No, M’a - sorry, no I don’t.” Sakura shook her head. “But I still need to get home.”

“What’s your name, girl?”

“S-Sakura.”

The woman scoffed. “Well, Sakura of the Least Creative Name Ever, where do you live?”

“In the civilian district. By the main gate.”

The woman rubbed at the back of her neck and sighed. “Feh, too far for me tonight. Can’t go more than a quarter of a mile on this without consequences the next day.” She patted her right leg and Sakura noticed for the first time that she was missing the limb from the knee downward. Where there should have been flesh was a wooden imitation of a leg. She knew better than to stare, but she also knew that glancing away might be insulting. She chose to meet the woman’s eyes and got an approving look in return.

“Pardon my rudeness, but what should I call you?”

“Call me Roach.”

“What kind of name is Roach?” Sakura asked before she could stop herself. She clapped her hands over her mouth in horror. The woman — Roach — just grinned.

“Tell you what, Sakura. Hang tight and we’ll figure out something. In fact, it should only be a few minutes now.”

Sakura loitered by the door of the shop, feeling awkward, while Roach continued to lean against the counter without a care.

A light thud came from the doorway.

“Good evening, my favorite corner store angel! It sure is a cold night. Would you turn away a stranger in need?”

The newcomer had a young and playful voice, although Sakura couldn’t tell much about him. Brown hair reached his shoulders, and he seemed to be wearing a hat or bandana behind his red and white mask. His outfit was nearly identical to Rat’s. His mask was different, though. She couldn’t tell what animal it was.

“What’s your mask supposed to be?” She had to stop blurting things out. It was becoming a problem.

“Who’s the kid?” He directed the question to Roach, who had pulled out a steaming mug of something from beneath the counter. She moved to give it to the boy but held it out of his grasp at the last second.

“She’s your chance to pay me back for all the hot chocolate you’ve been stealing,” she said with a grin.

“Roach, you know I don’t babysit anymore.”

“She just needs a lift home. She lives by the main gate and I know for a fact you’re on your way in that direction.”

Darting forward faster than her eyes could track, he snatched the mug from Roach and removed the lid, downing the contents in one gulp. He didn’t even flinch at the temperature, she noted in awe.

“Alright, you got me, foul witch. Let’s go, kid.” He turned and walked out the door and Sakura followed.

She spun on her heel at the last minute. “Thank you for hiding me, Roach! I really appreciate it!”

“No problem, kid,” the woman called back.

She felt arms circle under hers and she almost shrieked.

“Calm down, I’m just giving you a ride. It’ll be faster than using your short little legs.”

She grumbled but agreed. He picked up the pace to a jog and she tightened her arms around his shoulders.

“So who were you hiding from?”

“Some creepy guy. He tried to catch me on my way home but I outran him.” She tilted her head back and enjoyed the feeling of wind rushing through her hair.

“Good thing you found Roach’s store. Now why were you stalking the Hokage’s tower all day?”

“What?! No I wasn’t!”

“Watch the volume, you’re right next to my ear! And don’t you even try. I know for a fact you were hanging out in the trees by the academy for the entire afternoon. What were you even doing there if you live all the way across the village?”

“None of your business!”

“Hey, be as rude as you want, but remember that I’m your ride home and you can be kicked off the Tanuki Express at any time.”

“Is that what your mask is supposed to be? A Tanuki?”

“Yep.”

“Do you know Rat? He’s super quiet and nice! Are you friends?” She asked excitedly.

“Can’t tell you that, kid. Technically, you weren’t even supposed to see me tonight.”

“I’ll tell you what I was doing if you tell me if you know Rat.”

“Alright, fine. And yes, I know who you’re referring to, although his mask isn’t a rat.”

“Looks like a rat,” she grumbled.

“Your turn. What were you doing creeping around the academy all day? Want to sign up or something?”

“No way. I’m gonna be a merchant like my mom.”

“Good for your kid. Still didn’t answer my question, though.”

“There’s this boy I saw a while ago. I’ve been trying to find him for a few weeks now.”

“Oooh, does someone have a crush?”

“Ew, no! Boys are gross!”

He laughed. “Fair enough. Why are you so interested in him?”

“Because he doesn’t make sense,” she said. “The way people treat him — it’s like he’s either invisible or a pest or something and I want to find out why. There’s nothing wrong with him on the outside, at least as far as I can tell. He has these weird marks.“ She dragged her fingers across her cheeks, “Do you know why people hate him?”

Tanuki twitched. “It might be better to drop that.”

“Why should I? What’s so wrong about wanting answers?”

“Listen, if someone doesn’t want to be found, then why bother following them?”

His words reminded her of the other Sakura. She spun in his arms and stared at his mask dead-on. “Why are you lonely, Tanuki?”

He stumbled and almost dropped her. “What makes you ask that?”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “Just a hunch. You reminded me of someone.”

“Ah.”

The walked continued in silence.

“So are you lonely?”

More silence.

“It’s complicated.”

What was it with these broody people and not knowing how to carry on a conversation?

“You should be friends with Rat,” she decided. “I don’t how many friends he has, but it’s probably not many. He seemed pretty shy and weird.”

“Oh, and you’re not? You’re the one who was hiding in a tree all afternoon, Pinkie.”

“It’s complicated,” she mimicked him, smug. “What about you? I’m assuming you don’t have many, or if you do, they’re not very good friends.”

He perked up suddenly. “Oh ho! That’s where you’re wrong, Pinkie! I have amazing friends!”

“If they’re so great, why are you lonely?” she shot back.

“Because my friends aren’t around to hang out right now. You’re right, I am lonely sometimes, but knowing I get to see them again someday makes it a little easier.”

She hummed. That made sense.

“Doesn’t change the fact that they’re not around.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

When they stopped talking this time, the silence didn’t bother her. The cool air felt nice on her sunburnt shoulders. Aunt Kagami was gonna be mad again. They finally turned onto her aunt’s street and Sakura pointed Tanuki towards the correct building.

He sat her down on the doorstep. “This is your house?”

“Yep!” She held out her hands for her hat and satchel. Tanuki handed them over.

He glanced at the windows, which were dark. “Do you want me to talk to your aunt for you?”

“No, it’s fine. She’s probably asleep anyways.” She checked the door handle. It was unlocked, meaning her aunt was inside. “Thank you again, Tanuki. I’m glad I got to meet you.”

“Same here, Pinkie. See you around. Hopefully not when you’re lost in strange parts of the village.” He vanished in a swirl of leaves as Sakura stepped inside.

As suspected, her aunt was asleep at the kitchen table, a flat beer in one hand. Sakura shook her shoulder lightly and Kagami grunted and looked up.

“Oh, Sakura. What time is it? Do you need dinner?”

“No, I’m fine. I’m super tired though, so I’m gonna go to bed.”

“That sounds like a great idea.” Kagami stood and they both went into the bedroom. As Sakura got ready, she thanked the stars that her aunt not only cared for her, but also had the observational skills of a dead fish.

The next morning, Kagami brushed her hair and wove it into a pretty braid. Sakura thought it might be her form of an apology for falling asleep before she got home.

“You’ve got the most beautiful hair, Sakura,” Aunt Kagami said as she brought together the last strands. “I’ve always wished mine had a little more volume. The color is so cute, just like flowers!”

“Yours is pretty too. It looks like rubies.” She’d never seen rubies in person, but had plenty of pictures in her gem and mineral handbook from her father. 

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Kagami pulled a hair tie from her wrist and finished off the braid.

“Did my grandma have the same color hair as me and my dad?” Just like rubies, Sakura had never seen her father’s mother in person. She had heard a few stories and guessed she might have liked the old Haruno matriarch if she had the chance to meet her.

Her aunt hummed as she pulled out the jar of sun screen and began slathering it all over Sakura, who liked this part a lot less than the hair part.

“No, she and I had the same color. So did your dad when he was younger.”

“No way! His is the same as mine.”

“Didn’t used to be. Turn, missy.”

Sakura complied.

“If I remember correctly, it changed colors a little while after he met your mother. Kami, it was so funny! He just suddenly came back home with pink hair one day with no explanation. I always suspected it was an embarrassing training accident. I even asked your mother if she was okay dating someone with such silly hair. She said it was fine, as long as it didn’t pass along to her kids! Not that she ended up being mad about it. Alright, all done.”

Her bag and hat were ready by the front door. She slung them on while tapping on her shoes.

“Are you going to Sarei’s again?”

“Yep! I should be home by dinner.”

Sakura felt bad about lying to her aunt, but her freedom would be in jeopardy if Kagami knew that her only niece was roaming the village on her own on the hunt for strange boys.

“That works out well. I’m meeting with a potential contact this afternoon and won’t be home until later. If you’re going to be out, I’ll just close up the shop early. Remember, stay out the sun, wear your hat, and drink lots of water!”

“Will do!” she called, already walking out the door.

She wasn’t looking forward to another long walk to the far side of the village, but it had been the last place she saw the boy…

This time, she didn’t stop in the park to rest. She did, however, glance over to see if Shisui, Itachi, and the younger Uchiha kids were there. They weren’t. She continued on.

She ate her lunch while sitting in the same tree at the school yard, watching at the same group of kids from the day before played — no, trained — in the field. She’d brought a book this time, and spent her time reading, glancing up every few minutes to see if the prankster reappeared. He did not, and she decided to return home unsuccessful, early enough that it was still light when she made it to her aunt’s.

The next week continued in much the same way. She actually started to enjoy the long walk, and found herself getting less winded each time. It also gave her a break from the people at the shop, and plenty of time to practice the coin exercise.

Since Shisui’s advice, she’d made a lot more progress. By playing with the amount of energy she used, she was able to successfully pick up the coin with three of her fingers, although she still struggled with her pinkie and ring fingers.

Her aunt’s new contact turned out to be a great lead for her business, and Kagami had returned late to the apartment every night, exhausted but satisfied by her new trading leads. Sakura was put in charge of making her own dinner — no cooking on the stove was allowed, but she could use the electric kettle and the kitchen knife once her aunt had given her several thorough safety talks.

In the end, she found the prankster in the most frustratingly easy way.

“You!” she yelled, can of peas falling from her hand as she pointed dramatically at the boy. “What are you doing here?” This was her favorite corner store. She’d been here what felt like a hundred times and have never seen him before. Besides, it was the only one on this side of the village that had her favorite mango drink.

“Shh!” he whispered, trying to put a hand over her mouth. “They’ll throw me out if they see me!”

She bit down (lightly) and he removed it, brushing off her spit on his shirt.

“Fine, but only if you agree talk to me!” The can of peas was returned to her basket. He didn’t have much in his: a carton of milk, a small pack of eggs, and five or six brightly colored plastic pouches.

“Fine. Just, let me find somebody to check out for me first.” He began scanning the aisles, looking for something, and Sakura was left puzzled.

“What do you mean? You can just go checkout yourself. They don’t care if you’re a kid here. I do it all the time. It’s not a problem.”

“Not for you,” he mumbled, “It’s… Ugh. Nevermind.” He was taking too long, she decided, and her stomach grumbled loudly.

She tried to pull the basket from his hands. “I’ll buy it for you in exchange for the chance to talk.”

He pulled back. “I don’t need your pity! Or your money! Give it back!”

“Then why do you need someone to check out for you? Are you scared?” she taunted.

His mouth twisted. “It’s… not the money. They just don’t like me. They won’t let me check out if they know it’s for me.”

“Oh.” She glanced away, feeling awkward. Clearly there was something else going on here. “Well here, give me your money. I’ll check out for you.”

She held up a hand as he started to complain.

“Not out of pity. I’m hungry and tired of standing in this store when there’s perfectly good food I can make at home.”

He looked at her like she had revealed some secret of the universe. She took a step back, uncomfortable.

“Wait, you can cook?!”

“Uh, yeah? Can’t everybody?”

“How did you learn?!”

“My mom? She taught me. Not much, but enough.”

His expression had fallen and she felt herself feeling guilty, although she didn’t know why. She held out her hand for his basket and he this time he handed it over.

“I’ll wait for you outside. It’ll be easier this way,” he said, turning, hands shoved in his pockets and giving off an air of embarrassment.

Sakura went to the checkout and purchased both of their selections. On a whim, she threw in a bag of sweets. She also paid close attention to the cashier, who didn’t give her a second glance as she handed over her money. Was the boy exaggerating?

The cashier handed her the purchases and she left the store. The boy was gone. She looked around, angry that she had been duped. She turned and started off towards home and he landed beside her. She jumped.

“I thought you ditched!”

He shrugged. “People were looking at me funny so I hid.”

“Ah.” They walked in silence for a bit. He kept glancing at her, clearly trying to do so sneakily but failing miserably. “Why do you keep doing that?”

“N-not doing nothing,” he grumbled, blushing. “Just, can’t figure out what your game is.”

“What do you mean?”

“Why did you follow me and ask me to talk to you? You’re not even asking me questions.”

Sakura was an idiot. “That’s right! I forgot!” she yelled, and just barely kept herself from pointing at him again. “I’ve got questions for you! What did you do to my aunt? Why doesn’t she like you?”

“What? Who’s your aunt? Wait, was she the purple-haired lady at the laundry place? She had it coming! It wasn’t my fault I forgot about the markers!”

“No, idiot!” she punched him in the arm. To her embarrassment, he barely even winced. Was she really that weak? “She’s lady at the fabric store where you threw all of those stink bombs! Those took forever to clean up by the way!”

“Heh heh, sorry about that!” he scratched his head in the same way her dad did, and she fought back another pang of sadness. “Had to get away from that asshole somehow! Otherwise he would have probably dragged me back to the old man.”

“The old man?”

“You know…” he pantomimed smoking a pipe and frowning and pointed a hand behind them. She followed his finger. He was pointing at the Hokage monument.

“Wait, you know the Hokage?!”

“Yeah, doesn’t everybody?”

“No, not civilians. Wait, you’re not a shinobi, right? You’re too loud and orange.”

“I’m not a shinobi yet, but I’m gonna be the best one Konoha has ever seen! And then no one can get me in trouble for being loud and I can wear whatever I want without people making fun of it! I can already beat all the lame adults at pranking! They can’t be that strong if a kid can trick them so easily! I’ll beat them all and become the strongest ninja in the world, y’know!” He was grinning as he delivered his monologue, and Sakura felt like she was staring at the sun. “And if they keep being mean to me, then I’ll just keep drawing stuff on their gear!” he added with an evil glint in his eye.

“If you want them to respect you, why do you prank them all the time?”

He crossed his arms behind his head and looked away from her. “It’s not like they like me anyways. Might as well have fun with it, y’know?”

“But why though?” This was the question that had started her entire quest. “Why do they treat you like that? Is it just the shinobi?”

“No.” It was bitter, and didn’t feel at home with the rest of his sunny personality. “It’s everyone. No one will tell me why,  but I think it’s because I don’t have parents. Maybe that’s why I’m so good at pranking!” He tried to break the tension of the moment with a peace sign and a fox-like grin. “Never had ‘em to stop me!”

“Huh.”

They walked down the length of street. As they neared her aunt’s neighborhood, the boy stopped walking. She looked back at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“I, uh…” he looked embarrassed. “Shouldn’t go with you past here. They don’t like it when I do.”

“The store owners, you mean?”

He nodded.

“Okay, we can stop here. I’ve still got more questions.”

He nodded again and they sat down on the sidewalks, resting against the side of a building. She pulled out the package of sweets from her bag, ripped it open and held it out. He looked at her in awe, like she had just handed him a puppy.

“R-Really?!”

“Uh, yeah? I can’t eat all these myself.”

He took a few and popped them all into his mouth, glancing at her sidelong and waiting for her to stop him or change her mind. She didn’t. She just took one herself and leaned up to look at the stars.

“Will you let me help you?” she asked him.

“With what?”

Sakura laughed at how his face contorted in confusion.

“Finding out why the adults don’t like you.”

“Why would you wanna help with something like that? Besides, it’s probably like you said: I’m loud, I like to prank people, and I don’t have parents. Plenty of reasons.”

Sakura shook her head, thinking. “But that doesn’t make sense. The pieces don’t add up. Let me help. It’s so interesting and I want to help figure it out!”

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds. That weird bitter expression was back.

“C’mon,” she begged, “I’m so bored working for my aunt and want to have something to investigate!”

“I don’t need the help from some girl.” He stood suddenly, brushing off the seat of his pants and jamming his hands in his pockets. “See ya!”

“No way! I did not follow you for the last two weeks just for you to walk away! I’m gonna help you and you’re not gonna stop me!”

His expression startled her. “Two weeks? You’ve been… following me for that long?” His voice was soft.

“Uh, yeah? That’s what I said?” She huffed, brushing hair out her eyes as she stared at him exasperated. “I get bored. This seems like an interesting puzzle. Let me help.”

Something froze in his eyes, and she felt tension snap in the air. “Fine. I’ll let you help but you have to do something for me.”

“What?”

“Don’t pretend to be nice to me.”

“Wh-what?”

“If you’re just gonna hang out with me to find the answer, then leave me alone afterwards. You don’t have to pretend to be my friend.”

She froze. She wasn’t good at this. She wasn’t good at people and she wasn’t good at friends. She didn’t get along with kids her age. She was too rude, too bookish, didn’t like things the other girls her age liked. Dolls and stuffed animals and playing house bored her to tears. Boys usually weren’t much better. The games they played were fun, but she wasn’t able to keep up with them. Up until the last few weeks, she could count the number of kids she’d actually gotten along with on one hand.

He clearly mistook her confusion for something else, turning and starting to walk off.

“Wait! Please.” Something in her voice made him stop, although he didn’t turn.

“I don’t even know how to be friends,” she said as embarrassment curled in her gut. “I’ve never really had one before. I mean, there’s Shisui and Rat and Tanuki-”

(and the other girl?)

“But they’re older than me and I’ve only met them once and-”

She was breathing hard, which was weird since she hadn’t been running. “Other kids don’t…. They don’t like me. I don’t do anything interesting. I just read about things and stay in my room or wander around by myself…” She hung her head, fighting back tears. “I don’t think I’d make a very good friend for you.”

Silence from the boy. She didn’t want to look up to see if he was gone.

“But I want to be your friend,” she confessed. “I’ve spent the last few weeks wondering why people hate you. I mean, you’re super annoying and loud and orange. And your goggles look dumb, but… you’re nice, I think? And maybe you’re the same as me? So I’d like to be your friend, but I don’t know how. Is that okay?”

Sakura looked up. The boy was gone and she was alone on the street.

She walked home, leaving the bag of sweets on the sidewalk.

“How was Sarei’s today?” Aunt Kagami asked her. She must have gotten home earlier than expected. Sakura didn’t say anything, just threw herself into her aunt’s arms.

“O-Oh, okay. Uh. There, there?” She awkwardly patted Sakura’s back as the girl sniffed against her shirt. Sakura loved her aunt and adored the fact that she had no idea how to talk to children and just defaulted to treating them like adults.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen with Sarei, Blossom?”

Sakura shook her head and sobbed at the familiar nickname. Not only did the only kid weirder than she was not want to be friends, but her dad was still out of the village and she missed him so much.

“Oh fu…  fudge. Um, would hot coco help?” Sakura didn’t stop crying. “Okay, er, just let it out, I guess?”

She continued patting Sakura’s back, and eventually the girl felt her breathing slow. Aunt Kagami carried her to bed once it was clear she had begun to drift to sleep.

“It’s okay, right? That I don’t have any friends?” Sakura whispered to the other girl once her aunt’s soft snores filled the room. “It’s okay to be alone?”

“ Yes ,” the other girl answered. “ It’s okay to be alone. But you’re not alone. You have me. ”

Sakura smiled sadly, wiping at her tears as she tried to fall asleep.

Chapter Text

She didn’t leave her aunt’s shop for the rest of the week. There was no reason to explore the village. She had her answer… or at least, something close enough to it. She wasn’t satisfied, but the boy hated her and didn’t want to be her friend. If there were answers to be had, she would find them eventually.

Aunt Kagami didn’t comment on Sakura’s presence around the shop. She sent a few sympathetic glances her way, but just put her to work in the back room during the day. Sakura spent the evenings reading her books and sitting below the tree in her aunt’s backyard.

Things become more difficult when her lies caught up with her.

“I’ve got another meeting with that Kiri merchant,” her aunt told her one evening as she applied lipstick. “We’re having dinner near the monument and I won’t be home until late. Sarei’s mother has agreed to let you stay the night.”

Dawning dread flooded her. Some of it must have showed on her face. 

“I thought you and Sarei were friends?” her aunt asked. 

“W-we are!” Sakura lied hurriedly, “I just don’t want to spend the night somewhere else! What if I get scared? What if the Kiri merchant tries to kidnap you?”

“Oh, Blossom. I’ll be fine! Sometimes a little fear is good for the heart. Now get your bag ready. I’ll drop you off on our way to dinner. ”

Sakura marched up the stairs, somber. Either Aunt Kagami had figured out that Sakura hadn’t been spending her days at Sarei’s house and was calling her bluff as part of a dastardly plan to make Sakura admit to the lie, or she actually had no idea and believed Sakura. 

Both options were bad, she decided. If her aunt found out she had been lying, she would be grounded, and not just Level 1 I-dropped-three-bolts-of-fabric-in-the-mud-and-was-rude-to-a-customer grounded. No, this would be a whole new level. Sakura had never seen her Aunt Kagami genuinely angry. If she was anything like Sakura’s mother, it was something to be avoided at all costs.

“It’s not over yet!” She told herself, resolving to find a solution as she shoved her night clothes into a bag. “What do I know about Sarei?” 

To be honest, she didn’t know much about the other girl. She knew her aunt had past dealings with the girl’s family. The Oda family was similar to the Haruno family — a trade family based out of Konoha with connections across Fire Country. If she remembered correctly, they dealt mostly in ceramics and porcelain, and sometimes purchased bulk orders of fabric as cushioning for their shipments. Sakura had delivered at least one package to them, and had a brief glimpse of the youngest daughter of Oda Kaito, the head of the family. 

From what she remembered, Sarei was an outgoing, charismatic girl with black hair and gorgeous blue eyes. She had no problem making friends and often ran around the village with a group of shinobi-born girls. She liked playing tag, hosting tea parties, and having impromptu fashion shows with her friends using her mom’s make-up and clothes.

In other words, Sarei was Sakura’s nightmare. With a sigh, Sakura removed several books in her overnight bag, leaving only her ‘Botanicals of Konoha’ guidebook. 

There was also the matter of what the other girl had told her mother. Sakura didn’t even know if Sarei knew she was spending the night. She might have already told her mom she had no idea who Sakura was. 

There were too many unknowns, and Sakura found her hands trembling as she zipped the bag and slung it over her shoulder. 

“You’re screwed, Maggot,” whispered the other girl. 

“I know. Can you help me if I decide to run?” 

“Certainly not. This will be entertaining.” Sakura could hear the other girl’s grin. 

Grimacing, she made her way down to the shop. No reason to push off the inevitable.

“Oh good, you’re ready.” Her aunt was putting in earrings. She turned to Sakura. “How do I look? Would you sign a contract with me to supply the canvas for your wagons?”

“No, I wouldn’t. Your canvas prices are too high. I’d just go to the shop down the road.”

She laughed and tossed her ruby hair over one shoulder. “You are definitely Kizashi’s daughter. Let’s go.”

Her aunt filled the silence of the walk by chattering about the merchant. Sakura suspected her aunt was interested in more than just the trade deal, but said nothing, trying to frantically come up with a game plan. 

It all came down to what Sarei would do. Sakura’s freedom depended on a girl who she had met maybe twice in her life. 

Kagami knocked on the front door of the Oda’s house. After a moment, a woman opened the door. She bore a strong resemblance to Sarei. 

“Oh, good! Sarei just got home a few minutes ago. Please, come in.”

They followed the woman into the house. It was nice, Sakura noticed, nicer than both her aunt’s and her parent’s houses. Silk hangings decorated the walls and a soft, plush carpet was springy under Sakura’s feet. As they approached the kitchen, Sakura heard a child’s laughter. She gulped.

The kitchen was large and ornate. Aunt Kagami immediately started peppering Sarei’s mother with questions and the two talked about trade dealings. 

Sarei and Sakura stared at one another. Sure enough, the girl hadn’t changed much from Sakura’s memory. Her dark hair was pulled into high buns with flowery hair ties. Her eyes were just as blue as Sakura remembered. The dress she wore was high quality, and her long-sleeved shirt extended down to her wrists.

Sarei stood from the table and skipped over to Sakura, taking Sakura’s arm in her own. 

“We’re going to hang out in my room, Momma!” Sarei called over her shoulder as she dragged Sakura up the stairs. 

“Okay!” Sarei’s mother called at the same as Aunt Kagami yelled “Have fun, Blossom!”

Sarei dragged her around a corner and into a room. As soon as the door closed behind them, she rounded on Sakura and glared at her. 

“First of all, who even are you? And does my mom and your aunt think we know each other?”

“I’m sorry! Please don’t say anything to them!” Sakura begged her. “I needed an excuse to get out of the house one day and said we were friends, and well…” She shrugged helplessly. “And we’ve met before, although I think it was a long time ago. Our families do business with each other.”

Sarei still hadn’t relaxed, and to Sakura’s horror, her voice only continued rising in volume. “Give me one good reason to lie to my mom!” she demanded. 

“Everything all right, girls?” Sarei’s mother called from downstairs. 

“All good!” they responded at the same time.  

 “Okay, fine. Is there anything you want? Like toys or something?”

“What, like a bribe? Please, look around, my parents love me and already get me the best stuff. I don’t need any junk.”

For the first time, Sakura had a chance to examine the room and was taken aback. Everything was purple. Bright purple. Both the bed and floor were stacked with stuffed animals, toys, and colorful books. 

“Tick tock,” Sarei snipped, and Sakura wondered if she was allowed to hit other children without repercussions. 

“Let me think,” Sakura told her. What would this girl want? Like Sarei had said, she clearly had enough toys and trinkets, and it wasn’t like Sakura even had any to give her anyway. What did Sakura have that Sarei might want? “Do you like books?”

Sarei’s face lit up. “Yes! I love books! Do you want to see what I got for my birthday?” She plopped down on the floor and patted the area next to her. Sakura sat down obediently. The girl grabbed one of the colorful books and handed it to Sakura. 

“My dad got these for me when he visited the hot springs to the North,” Sarei explained. The book was light in Sakura’s hands. She turned it over. Colorful illustrations of stylized hot springs and monkeys decorated the cover.

“Interesting…?” Sakura began, “What is it about?”

“It’s about the monkey king who rules the hot springs! He gets overthrown by a snake who wants it for himself and they fight and the monkey king dies and the snake kidnaps a princess so a super brave fox to go save the her but then the princess runs away and—”

Sarei continued babbling on and Sakura half-listened as her mind spun. 

Sarei was eight. Sakura was eight. They were the same age. But how could they be? Sakura had only ever known her own childhood, but she knew without a doubt that she was nothing like this girl. All of Sakura’s books were given to her by her father. She had permission to decorate her room but found no need, preferring bare walls. Did she even have toys at home? There was a fuzzy memory of a stuffed beetle her mother had brought back for her, but that was it. If chess counted, she played games, but not with other kids. 

“And then they fight a star princess and the fox becomes the hero of the hot springs and they all live happily ever after!”

“That’s a great story,” Sakura lied. “I loved the ending.”

She didn’t have much in the way of belongings, but did know quite a few things.

“What if I tell you about the plants and animals around Konoha?”

“Nah, I’ve got books for that.”

“Hm.” Sakura bit her thumb and continued thinking. “What about chess? Do you know how to play?”

“Duh, everyone knows how to place chess!”

“Urgh, okay. Um…”

Her fingers brushed the coin in her pocket and she froze. 

“Be careful,” the other Sakura whispered. 

“I will.” 

She turned back to Sarei, who was looking at her oddly. “Sarei, would you like to learn a magic trick?”

“What kind of magic? The dumb kind where you hide things behind people’s ears? No thanks.”

“No, I mean the real kind.” 

Sakura placed the coin on her palm. 

“If I show you,” she warned the other girl, “you have to promise- No, you have to Pinkie Swear,” Sakura held out her little finger, “that you won’t show it to anyone.”

“What’s the point in magic tricks if I can’t show anyone?”

“Fine, one person. But that’s it!”

Sarei coupled her finger with Sakura’s and they shook. 

Sakura took a deep breath. “Give me a moment to focus. This won’t work otherwise.”

She felt herself took a mental step backwards. When she opened her eyes, she was still in Sarei’s bedroom, but the other girl felt far closer to the surface than she had before. 

“Is this going to mess everything up?” she asked the other girl. 

“ It might, or it might not. There’s no way to tell. ”

“Well, what do you think?”

“ I’ll admit, you don’t have much else to offer. ”

“Gee, thanks.” Sakura felt herself return to the present awareness.

“Sakuraaaaa,” Sarei whined. “Why are you taking so long?”

Sakura held out her hand. “Watch closely,” she commanded Sarei.

She lifted her thumb from her palm and the coin followed. She rotated her hand, just like she’d shown to Shisui.

“Wow! How are you doing that?!” Sarei looked around Sakura’s hand in every direction. “Can I try?”

Sakura handed her the coin. Sarei stuck it to her palm, and unsurprisingly, it didn’t stay when she rotated her hand. 

“Do it again!” 

Sakura complied.

“That’s so cool! Can you teach me?”

“I’ll try, but it’s really hard,” she warned. “It took me weeks just to get it to stick to my thumb. Here,” she positioned the coin back in Sarei’s palm. “Image that your body is full of lots of energy, and it’s everywhere, like your eyes, your fingertips, your—”

“Butt!” Sarei exclaimed and Sakura snorted. 

“Yeah, I guess it’s also in your butt. Anyway, you’ve got this stuff all over. It’s called chakra, and you can use it to hold things without actually, you know, holding them.”

Sarei stuck her tongue out from the corner of her mouth and her blue eyes twinkled. She stared at the coin and her gaze was so intense that Sakura was surprised the coin didn’t explode or something. Sarei rotated her hand. The coin fell off. 

“What am I doing wrong?” she cried. “I’m doing what you told me!”

“Not sure. I just know what worked for me.”

“Got it! Oh, wait… it fell. But it stayed for a second!” 

Sarei tried it again. Sure enough, the coin stuck to her palm. Sakura saw a sheen of sweat on Sarei’s forehead. Ah, it was the sweat. 

“Is… is this it? Am I doing it?” 

“Yep! You’re a natural!” Sakura lied. 

Sarei smiled at her and stayed focused on the coin, still rotating her hand this and that. Even if it was just the sweat, it would still be a cool party trick. Why wasn’t Sarei able to do it like Sakura? It had barely taken her any time to pick up the coin with her thumb, let alone keep it glued to her palm. 

“So, Sarei,” Sakura began, “you’re not gonna tell your mom, right?”

“Nah, this is cool enough! Thank you!”

Thank Kami. 

“Hey, Sakura. Since you’re sleeping over, want to read some more books with me?”

“Uh, sure?”

Sarei pulled out a few more books from the stack, and they flipped through them. They didn’t interest Sakura as much as her own, but if Sarei wasn’t going to tell on her to her mother, then she wouldn’t complain… That much.

They ate a simple dinner downstairs, sitting at the table with Sarei’s mother, who apologized for the lack of side dishes and formality. 

Sakura asked Sarei later if her family always had meals together. Sakura couldn’t remember if she had ever sat down at a table with both parents to eat a meal.

Sarei just stared at her. 

“You’re so weird, Sakura,” Sarei tells her, yawning as they lay down in their bed rolls. 

“Not to the first one to tell me that,” she muttered, sliding beneath the sheets. Sarei was already asleep.

Maybe this wasn’t so bad, Sakura thought. This whole friends-with-other-kids thing might be easier than expected. 

She grabbed the coin back from Sarei once she was sure the other girl was asleep.

Hanging out with other kids sucked. In fact, it made Sakura regret every choice that had led her to the Oda household.  

“Let’s see the purple dress on Sakura-chan!” Sarei’s mother called from the kitchen. 

Sarei cheered along with here. “Sakura, we’re waiting!”

She cursed as she yanked the dress over her head and patted into place. It was fluffy and itchy and she wanted to burn it. She had woken up to Sarei’s mother’s hand on her shoulder, shaking her awake. Apparently, Aunt Kagami had an excellent time — whatever that meant — and wouldn’t be home until the next evening. She had even sent word to one of her assistants to open the shop for her, which left Sakura absolutely no excuse to escape from the Oda household.

She made the mistake of looking in the mirror on her way down the hall. 

“Ugh!” If there was another color in the world that looked worse on her, she hadn’t seen it yet. A feather boa fell around her shoulders and she had to restrain herself from visibly recoiling. 

There was Sarei, in her own matching dress. She still wore a long-sleeved undershirt, even though her dress was the same summer cut as Sakura’s. 

How odd, she thought to herself. 

“C’mon, ‘Kura!” Sarei dragged her out her out into the kitchen. 

“Oh my, aren’t you two just the prettiest princesses I’ve ever seen!” Sarei’s mother cooed. Sarei giggled and looked over at Sakura, who tried her best to smile. It was a grimace at best. 

“How about some tea and cookies for the lovely princesses?” 

“Yes, please!” Sarei was blindingly happy.

“If it’s okay, Oda-san, I’ll go change first. So I don’t get any tea. Only this gorgeous dress.”

Sarei looked at her and grinned evilly. “No, Sakura-chan! Stay here and have cookies with me! It’s not a tea party unless we’re both all dressed up!”

Having friends sucked, she thought for the second time. Sarei had been using her leverage all morning, and Sakura what debating exactly how much avoiding Aunt Kagami’s wrath was worth the annoyance.

“Now Sakura, I’m sorry to say I don’t know much about your family! Kagami isn’t your mother, right? She’s far too young.”

There was no missing that judgemental tone for a mile.

“No, ma’am. Miss Kagami is my father’s sister. She’s kind enough to take care of me while my parents are out of town.”

“Ah, yes, I recall now. They’re travelling through Fire Country, correct?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Now, you likely don’t know this, but what sort of things does your father trade?”

Sakura paused. “Oda-san, my apologies. I don’t think I understand?”

Sarei’s mother peered at her curiously, finger extended dramatically as she sipped from the tea cup. Sarei giggled, delighted. 

 “Your family are merchants, correct? Who are your father’s main contacts?

There it was. 

“My apologies, Oda-san. My mother carries out our family’s business.”

“Ah, I see. Then what does your father do?”

“He…”

What did her dad do? Scrolls were constantly coming in and out of his office, and he was in and out of the village almost as much as her mother. On the other hand, he  almost never went with her mother to the guild meetings. 

There were times shadowy messengers appeared in their windows, and he vanished, only to return with a grim expression, refusing to make eye contact with her or her mother.

“He… keeps the books, I think?”

“Very convincing, maggot,” muttered the other girl. 

“Oh, so he’s a stay at home father. How novel!” 

The wretched tea party continued, but Sakura kept mulling over the question: What exactly did her father do?

It was official: Sakura was back to hating other kids her age. 

“Let’s go, Sakura!” Sarei was practically vibrating in her skin as she pulled Sakura along behind her. They made their way down the street, with Sarei’s mother trailing behind. 

After the horrible tea party, Sarei’s mother had taken them with her to run errands. Sakura’s requests to be returned to her aunt’s house had been denied immediately. Apparently, little girls from important civilian families were in danger at all times in the village and should have absolutely no chance at alone time, lest they be snatched from their unsuspecting parents. 

Sarei’s mother had also promised that she would taken them by a toy shop in return for their good behavior. This won Sarei’s compliance, but Sakura couldn’t have been less interested. She stared longingly at the two different bookstores they passed on their way to the center of town towards the toy shop.

She also forgot her sunhat, so Sakura’s upper shoulders are already tinged with pink, and the familiar pounding of a headache was beginning. Sarei spotted the toy shop and cheered. 

“Girls, I’m going to stop at the tea store for a moment. Go on ahead, I’ll meet you!” Sarei’s mother called as she ducked into a fragrant building a few stores down from their destination.

Sakura was just looking forward to spending time in the shade when Sarei froze beside her.

“Oh no!”

Without warning, Sakura was yanked behind a building. 

“Hey!” 

Sarei slapped her hand over Sakura’s mouth and peered around the corner. 

“Shh! They’re here!”

Sakura peeled the clammy hand from her face, grimacing. “Who’s here?”

“SHHH!”

“Okay, okay!” 

Sakura leaned around the corner, copying Sarei. A trio of girls stood at the doorway of the toyshop. They looked to be around the same age as Sakura and Sarei, and were laughing, tossing a toy back and forth.

“Are you trying to hide from them?” Sakura asked her. 

Sarei nodded. She looked more worried. Sakura decided she didn’t like her new friend wearing that expression. 

“Who are they? And why are you hiding from them?” 

Sakura couldn’t spot anything out of the ordinary about any of the girls. One was tall and another was wearing a pair of glasses. Aside from that, she couldn’t see anything even slightly memorable about these girls. 

“The one with the brown hair is Ami,” Sarei said, still grim. “The other two are Fuki and Kasumi. They live nearby.”

The girls pointed in another direction and began wandering off. 

“Why are you scared of them?”

“I’m not scared! I’m…” Sarei looked away from Sakura. “They just don’t like me.”

Well, that was familiar. For a moment, Sarei’s hair was blonde and she wore a bright orange jumpsuit. Sakura shook her head slightly to clear the overlay. 

“Why?” Sakura pressed. 

Sarei looked away, suddenly ashamed. 

“I don’t want to talk about. Oh, they’re gone now. We can go in!” 

Sakura trailed after Sarei, deep in thought. What about Sarei could these girls possibly not like? Sure, Sakura found the girl annoying and loud and obsessed with playing and fun, but that was more attributed to Sakura’s own strangeness than Sarei. From an outsider’s perspective, Sarei was friendly, pretty, and came from a wealthy family. In theory, the other girls should be begging to be he friend. 

Another mystery. More information was needed, she decided. It was time to do reconnaissance on Sarei. At least this time, she was in close proximity to her query.

As the other girl rifled through a bin full of stuffed animals, Sakura turned her keen eyes on her. Was there something the girl was hiding? Sakura hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary. Plenty of toys, loving parents. She didn’t seem to have many friends, though. When Sakura had seen her originally, she was surrounded by another group of girls. Sarei hadn’t mentioned any other kids since their sleepover began. She was clearly friendly enough to make them, so why hadn’t she?

Was it something about Sarei’s appearance? She didn’t look especially foreign for a Konoha civilian. At least, no more than Sakura did. It wasn’t like she was ugly or weird-looking either. 

“Hey, Sakura, look!” Sarei was holding up a stuffed monkey with a crown of silk flowers. “It’s like the monkey king from my book!”

Sakura smiled and joined her at the bin. She would continue to be nice to Sarei, she decided, at least until she found her answer. 

Sarei’s mother collected them from the store a few minutes later, and both girls left with stuffed animals. Sarei chose the monkey, while Sakura had found a small stuffed ladybug that reminded her of the toy she had remembered the night before. 

They made their way back to the Oda household. The day had passed by more quickly than expected, and it was soon time for dinner. Both girls helped clean up afterwards, and Sarei’s mother pulled Sakura to the side.

“Is my Aunt Kagami going to pick me up soon?” Sakura asked her. 

“No, sweetie. Your aunt apparently had some other business come up. She asked us to keep you for another couple of days.”

Sakura expected to be annoyed at this news, but found she wasn’t. 

“I appreciate your hospitality, Oda-san. I appreciate your family hosting me on such short notice.”

“No worries, dear. It’s lovely that Sarei has a chance to be friends with other girls her age. Besides, you’re no trouble at all.”

“Oda-san… I don’t wish to be impolite, but I have a question.”

Sarei’s mother looked down at her in interest. 

“What would that be?”

How should she approach this? What was the polite way? Her mother had never taught her the etiquette for how to ask what was wrong with someone’s only daughter. 

“Do you know why Sarei is scared of the other kids around here?”

“Ah. I worried that might come up.” Sarei’s mother glanced out the window. “I’m afraid that’s a question for Sarei. It’s her choice to tell you.”

Sakura bowed to the woman. She knew it! She knew something was up with Sarei!

“Thank you, Oda-san, I understand.”

Sakura walked up the stairs to Sarei’s bedroom and found the younger girl surrounded in a circle of stuffed animals.

Sarei suggested they tell each other stories. They spent the next half hour coming up with fantasy tales. Or at least, Sarei did. Sakura’s could barely pass as anecdotes, and she found herself rambling about local flora, fauna and facts instead of following a specific plot. After almost boring Sarei to sleep with descriptions of the weather patterns in Suna, Sarei made the decision that she would be the one telling the stories. 

To her surprise, Sakura actually enjoyed the evening. Sarei was a surprisingly good storyteller and had a talent for describing people and places, and Sakura found herself shivering when Sarei described a kingdom of ice and people made of crystal who lived underground. She spun a story about a little girl from the kingdom who was made of rocks instead of gems like her family, and had to leave when she got older because she wasn’t pretty enough to stay. 

“But why would it matter if she’s not pretty?” Sakura interrupted her. 

“Because,” Sarei drawled, “that’s why everyone loved the crystal people and didn’t try to fight them! They were too pretty and enchanted all the people who tried to attack their city. Duh!”

“O-oh. Then why couldn’t the girl just hide from the outsiders in the city?”

“Because…” Sarei frowned. Sakura might have actually stumped her this time. “Because rock is stronger than crystal!” Sarei exclaimed. 

They heard her mother call a faint “quiet, ladies!” from below. 

Sarei continued in a whisper. “The girl was afraid of bumping into people and hurting them! She had to leave to keep them safe.”

“That’s so sad.”

“Yeah, but there’s plenty of other people in the world! She just has to make friends with them.”

“She still has to leave her family behind, though…” Sakura whispered, thinking of her dad. It wasn’t like he was gone all the time, just most of it. “It must be so lonely.”

“Yeah.” Sakura heard sniffling and looked up. Why was Sarei crying?

“What’s wrong?” She asked Sarei as she panicked internally.

“What am I supposed to do when someone cries?!” she whispered to the Other Sakura. The girl inside her just sent back a wordless shrug and Sakura rolled her eyes. 

“I… I’ve really liked spending time with you!”

“Then why are you crying?”

“Because you wouldn’t want to stay friends with me if you knew!” Sarei was openly sobbing now. Sakura patted her head awkwardly, but Sarei turned away from her, back to Sakura. “If I tell you, you’ll just make fun of me and think I’m a freak!”

As a rule, Sakura didn’t like kids her own age. She didn’t like much of anyone. She liked reading, spending time with her dad, and stalking strange boys in the village who didn’t want to be found. If someone had told her a month ago that she would willingly spend time with a girl obsessed with purple and stuffed animals, she would have taken a bite of soap.

But now Sakura was invested in this girl. Sarei’s crying hurt Sakura, she realized. It made her feel things. She hated it.

Haruno Family Rule #1: Nothing is more expensive than ‘Free’.

“How about we make a trade?”

Sarei twisted around and blinked at her. “Huh?”

“If you tell me your secret, I’ll give you one of mine in exchange. Then we’ll be even.”

At heart, they were both merchant’s daughters, and Sarei knew a good trade when she heard one.

“Okay,” she said softly. “But can you go first?” She hugged her knees. 

“Sure. What type of secret would you like to hear?” 

Sarei drew in a shuddering breath. “Do you have anything like… scars?”

“No,” she said slowly, “I mean I have a few scars, but nothing that’s a secret.”

She waited for Sarei to speak again. It took a minute of tense silence before the other girl spoke. 

“What about secrets about your parents?”

Sakura had a bad feeling. Inside her, the other Sakura tensed as well. 

But she’d already showed Sarei the coin trick. There was no going back.

“I’ve got a secret about my dad. He told me to never tell anyone, ever, so if I tell you, you have to swear you won’t tell anyone else. Even more than the coin trick. Can you promise that?”

Sarei nodded, face still hidden against her knees.

“My dad used to be a shinobi.”

Sarei’s head shot up and she gasped, looking at Sakura with wonder. 

“Really?! That must be so cool!”

“I guess? It just means dangerous people sometimes visit our house and I have to hide. Sorry if it’s not as interesting as yours.”

“No, that’s so cool! Is he still a shinobi? Is he a spy?! Wait! Is he the one who taught you the coin trick?!” Sakura nodded. “Wow! I’m so jealous!”

“But he’s not anymore. I think he got sick, and had to stop. There’s a lot my parents won’t tell me.”

“Same here,” Sarei said. “Parents keep so many secrets. It scares me, sometimes.”

“He said if anyone ever finds out that he teaches me things, they might hurt him and my mom and take me away.” Sakura shivered involuntarily, thinking of Shimura-sama, the man who had visited her father in their backyard. She had nightmares about his voice. “I can’t let that happen.”

“Thank you.” The words suprise Sakura. Sarei still isn’t looking at her, but has at least stopped crying. “It’s nice to know that other people’s parents are complicated. Not that I’m glad you’re scared for your family! Just… That I’m not the only one. I…”

Sarei buried her face back in her knees. 

The growing knot of worry returned to Sakura’s stomach. 

“Please don’t tell anyone.”

Sarei extended one arm. Long sleeves, Sakura noticed, she always wore long sleeves. She rolled up the sleeve a few inches. 

Sakura bit her hand to smother a gasp. 

Sarei’s forearm was made up of pink scar tissue. Small red sores dotted its surface. There was more of it than healthy skin. 

“Sarei, what…? Why does your arm…?”

Sakura’s head had begun to pound again, filling with low vibrations. 

Sarei sniffled again. 

“My dad, he…”

A deep, rumbling noise began in her throat. The vibrations were growls from the other Sakura, she realized, and had to fight to quiet them. 

Sakura was young, but she wasn’t naive. In the same conversation her mother had warned her about the butcher down the street, she’d also warned her about adults that were cruel to children, that did unspeakable things to them for their own pleasure. 

“Your father did this to you on purpose?” She asked it sharper than she had intended. 

“What?! No!” Sarei’s head shot up. “My dad would never do it on purpose!”

“Oh… thank Kami. What happened?”

“It was an accident. I was playing somewhere I shouldn’t have. It was my fault. I wanted to surprise my dad and…” Sarei trailed off. She tugged the sleeve a little higher. The scars continued, Sakura saw. She wondered how much of Sarei’s body they covered. 

“He was in the workshop carrying a stack of bowls and I startled him. He dropped them and I tried to catch them so he pushed me out of the way and…” 

She stopped and took a deep breath, looking like she might be sick. 

“I didn’t realize he had been unloading them from the kiln. He accidentally pushed me and I… I fell into it. The k-kiln. It was an accident, but…” 

Tears rolled down Sarei’s face and her shoulders shook.

“We were able to find a healer for my hands, but the rest of arms and shoulders…He couldn’t look at me afterwards. I think that’s why he’s never around. My mom won’t let him sleep here anymore. It’s all my fault.”

“What was it like?” Sakura asked before she could stop herself. “Inside the kiln?”

Sarei gasped and the blood drained from her face in a heartbeat. “N-n-no I don-don’t like thinking about—” 

Sakura lunged forward and wrapped her arms around Sarei, burying her face against her neck. 

“You don’t have to tell me that, I was just curious.”

Sarei nodded against her, still crying and hiccuping. 

“Ami loaned me a shirt one time, and I didn’t realize I ruined it when one of my sores on my back opened. That’s why she doesn’t like me.”

“That’s kinda gross.”

Sarei went still in Sakura’s arms.

“But I like gross things so it’s no problem.”

Sarei smiled at her with watery eyes. 

“You’re so weird, Sakura.”

“I know.”

The next morning, Sarei gave Sakura a flower from the stuffed monkey’s crown. Sakura stuck it in the band of her hat and thought about how lucky she was to have a friend like Sarei.

That was how Sakura’s days regained a routine. She still spent the mornings in her aunt’s shop, but went over to Sarei’s house almost every afternoon.

Sarei wasn’t just a talented story-teller, she learned. She was also a great artist for their age, so her scribbles actually looked like things. Sakura took home one of Sarei’s drawings and taped it above her bed roll. It was of her and Sakura surrounded by monkeys, flowers, and gemstones. Sarei had even included Sakura’s massive sun hat, which had become her signature accessory. Sakura loved it. 

Sarei’s mother still made judgemental comments about Sakura’s parents, but Sakura let them pass over her. Her mother never let the whispers at guild functions bother her, so why should Sakura? She also saw Oda Noa for what she was — a mother who cherished her only child and didn’t want to see her get hurt. Sakura lost track of the number of times Sarei tripped or fell and her mother rushed over, real fear in her eyes. Sakura knew not to the point out the tiny pinpricks of blood (that she now knew to look for) on Sarei’s clothing, and in return, Sarei let Sakura ramble about whatever she was reading at the moment.

“And that,” Sakura said, pointing at a yellow flower, “is Morning Primrose. It’s a medicinal plant that used to be used for sore muscles until someone found out it lowers blood pressure too much and now people don’t use it.”

“And what’s that?” Sarei pointed at a small green plant. 

“That’s just grass. We are in a park, after all.”

Sarei laughed and flopped down and Sakura followed. Grass made her itchy, but she could tolerate it for short amounts of time. 

“What do you want to do today?” Sakura asked. She made eye contact with Sarei’s mother, who waved in their direction before returning to her conversation with another adult. 

“…P…ay attention…” That was the other Sakura. Her mumbling had been louder than usual today, making Sakura uneasy.

“Let’s look for fairies under the trees!” 

“Sure.”

Sakura stood and helped Sarei up. The two made their way to the edge of the field, where a stand of trees lined the field. They crouched at the bases of trees, looking for mushrooms and tiny fairy shrines. Sakura didn’t believe in fairies, but Sarei did, and it wasn’t like Sakura had anything else in mind. 

“I found one, ‘Ku…Ra…” She trailed off and Sakura felt a clammy hand grasp her own. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked Sarei. Sarei looked past her. 

“They’re coming towards us.” Sarei’s voice shook.

Sakura turned and saw three girls walking in their direction. 

Ami and her two friends, she realized, the ones from outside the shop.

“It’s okay,” Sakura whispered, tugging at Sarei’s sleeve. “Let’s go.”

“No,” Sarei said softly. “I’m not scared of them anymore! I have you and my mom and they don’t scare me!”

Sakura didn’t point out that the other girl was still trembling slightly. 

“Hey, Sa-Rei,” Ami called in a singsong voice. “How’s it going to-day?” She walked ahead of her companions by a few yards. 

“F-fine.”

Ami and the two other girls looked to be at least a year or two older than Sakura and Sarei. Ami’s outfit was made of fine, durable fabric with embroidery on the cuffs, though it was frayed slightly. The colors of her dress were faded, and Sakura noticed faint yellow stains beneath the older girl’s arms. It would have been unnoticeable to the untrained eye. Money to buy nice clothes, but not enough to maintain them. 

Ami tilted her head a fraction. The girl had watery grey eyes, rimmed in red. Sakura’s hackles rose. 

“Are you not going to ask how I’m doing? So rude!”

“S-Sorry!” Sarei bowed. “How are you today, Ami?”

Ami smiled brightly. Her two friends were just now approaching. Sakura couldn’t remember their names. 

“I’m having a great day, thank you for asking!”

“ Either strike now or run ,” hissed the girl inside her. “ Take out their leader before they have a chance to defend her .”

Sakura’s eyes shot open. The other girl had suddenly become very loud in her mind and very hard to ignore. 

“ Grab the girl and run, maggot! You’re faster than them, even if your stamina is garbage .”

“Shut up!” Sakura hissed to herself.

Sarei gasped and Sakura looked up to see Ami glaring at her. 

“What did you say to me? I was going to tell Sarei here that I would forgive her for ruining my dress, but I guess we can all forget about that.”

“Sakura, please,” Sarei begged. “Please apologize. Ami tells all the other kids what to do at school. I can’t…” Tears welled in her eyes. She grasped her forearms, holding them tight to her body.

Sakura glared at Ami, who smiled smugly at her.

“Retreat,” whispered the other girl. “Grab her and go!”

Sakura thought about Sarei’s stories. They were filled with noble heroes and brave warriors. Just the other night, Sarei had told her a tale of a warrior princess who refused to hurt her sister and brother at the order of her cruel father, and gave up the chance to become queen. She had also been a ladybug who’s dad was somehow a spider, which was impossible. Anyways, Sarei held honor and dignity above all else in her stories. Sakura wasn’t sure how much that applied to her. 

She had been raised by a mother who didn’t believe in friendships. Mebuki didn’t measure the world in right versus wrong; Sakura suspected that her mother measured it like moves made in a game, refusing to open up to anyone who would complicate her strategy, even if that included her own daughter. Her father was a wild card, and Sakura couldn’t even begin to guess at what his morals were. She knew he loved her. She also knew he was willing to lie and put her mother in danger for her sake.

She tipped her head to Ami. “My outburst was offensive and rude. Please accept this apology.”

This gave Ami pause. She studied Sakura. 

“Thank you!” whispered Sarei, clinging to Sakura’s arm.

Ami showed her teeth when she smiled.

“Bow.”

“Kill her,” the other girl commanded. 

“Pardon?” Sakura asked instead. 

“Bow, and maybe I’ll accept your apology.” 

“Don’t!” hissed the other girl. 

Sarei’s hand was shaking in hers. No doubt, imagining what was held in store for her future. Nothing pleasant, Sakura guessed. Her mother’s protectiveness, her father’s absence, and her own unwillingness to confront her reality would leave her weak against bullies like Amil.

She and Ami locked eyes. Sakura could feel herself being evaluated and assessed as an opponent. There was something painful and twisted beneath the surface of the older girl’s gaze. Bruises peaking out from under her collar, Sakura noticed. Her fingernails were bitten to the quick. The girls on either side of her had a habit of glancing at their leader every few seconds. 

She’s unpredictable, Sakura thought. They’ve grown to expect moments like these. 

Ami’s right hand twitched slightly. 

Danger surrounded Ami like a cloak. If it didn’t come from the girl, then it came from her demons.

Sakura began to bend at the waist.

Bowing to another child, and one from a non-Guild family. That was something that would horrify their parents. Sakura ignored Sarei’s gasp as she bowed to Ami, looking up at the older girl through her lashes. 

Sarei is weak, she tried to tell the other girl with her eyes. I’m your challenger, not her.

“Please forgive my rudeness, if not on my behalf, then for Oda Sarei. She does not deserve to be held accountable for my actions.” 

Sarei was openly shaking now, looking at Ami with fear. 

“Ah sure, why not? I’ll forgive you,” Ami said, flapping her hand and Sakura let out the breath she’d be holding, but knew it wasn’t over.

Sarei looked at Sakura with relief and—

Don’t look at me like that. Please don’t. She’s not done-

“…On one condition.”

There it was. Sakura had known. 

“What do you want?”

“Oh, nothing really! Just, in the future, you’ll owe me a favor!”

“I don’t think so.” 

There was a world of distance between humiliation and breaking a promise. 

Haruno Rule #2: Never break a promise, and never allow it to be broken.

“How unfortunate, I was feeling generous today. Oh well. Fuki, Kasumi, let’s go play tag.” 

The group began to turn. 

“Sakura, please,” Sarei begged.

“Fine,” Sakura spat. “I’ll owe you one favor — but only as long as you promise to leave Sarei alone.”

Ami’s wicked gleam took Sakura’s breath away. 

“Oh good! I knew you were smart. And I don’t know what you’re talking about? Sarei is one of my best friends!” 

The older girl swooped in between Sakura and Sarei, and Sakura got a whiff of blood and sweat from the older girl and nearly gagged. Ami slung her around Sarei’s shoulders and the younger girl winced. 

“Now let’s go play by the jungle gym! C’mon Sa-Rei! Let’s go puh-lay!” She turned and winked at Sakura. 

“Sakura?” whispered Sarei as she was pulled away from her. Sakura didn’t respond, watching the girls. 

She and Ami’s two friends followed Ami as she skipped with Sarei in tow across the field.

Neither of the other girls had said much of anything. 

The tall girl was the closest to Sakura. Sakura glanced her way and the other girl glanced back. 

“Why are you friends with her?” Sakura asked under her breath.

The other girl didn’t respond, just swallowing. 

“What’s your name?” Sakura tried again. 

“Kasumi,” she replied, choked.

“What about the other girl? Glasses?” Sakura glanced at the girl beyond the tall girl. 

“That’s Fuki.” 

“Why are you friends with Ami?” she asked again. This time, it looked like Kasumi might answer.

Ami came to a halt in front of them and Kasumi snapped her mouth shut. 

“We should play a game!” Ami proclaimed. “Anybody got any ideas?” She looked between all four of them.

“We have the right number of people for Ghost.” That was Fuki. She looked to be startled that she’d even spoken. 

“That’s a great idea! Hey, Kasumi-chan, do you still have that pen?” Kasumi nodded and pulled out a pen from her pocket and tossed it to Ami.

“Have you guys played ghost before?” Ami sounded almost like an instructor. Her swift change of moods kept Sakura on-guard. Both she and Sarei shook their heads. “No problem, let me explain. One person is the Ghost and the other four are humans. The Ghost tries to catch the humans. Fuki, c’mere, you should be the Ghost this time!”

Fuki approached Ami, who lifted her chin with a gentle hand. She pulled out the pen and drew a small ‘x’ in the middle of Fuki’s forehead. 

“Fuki’s gonna chase us around until she catches one of us. As soon as she does, the game is over! But here’s the catch: She can only stumble around like a zombie!” Ami extended her arms and stumbled around, groaning. Kasumi and Sarei both laughed. 

Was Ami just a kid? A dangerous kid?

“But that would be too hard for her! So the four of us each have a restriction: one of us has to be deaf,” she covered her ears with her hands, “two of us have to be blind,” she covered her eyes this time, “and the last person has to be mute!” Her hand moved to her mouth. “Sound good?”

“Yes!” the other girls chorused, even including Sarei. 

Ami opened her mouth to hand out more directions when a familiar voice came from behind Sakura. 

“Girls! Sakura, Sarei!” called Sarei’s mother. 

“Momma!” Sarei ran into her mother’s arms and hugged her. 

“Are you ladies having fun?” she asked both of them. 

Ami was watching Sarei with hawk-like focus. She only broke her gaze to make eye contact with Sakura. 

“Yes, Oda-san,” Sakura answered for them both. 

“I believe it’s time to head home so we can start on dinner.”

“Okay, Momma!” Sarei held onto her mother’s hand. 

“Remember to say bye to your friends, girls,” Sarei’s mother chided. 

“Bye, Ami! Bye, Fuki! Bye, Kasumi!” Sarei called behind them.

This was an unexpected solution to her problem. Ami wouldn’t be able to call in that favor if Sakura just avoided her for the foreseeable future. It would be hard for Sarei, but it wasn’t like she was the one who made a promise to Ami.

Sarei’s mom offered Sakura her hand that Sarei wasn’t clinging to, and for the first time, Sakura took it, walking along side her. 

“So how was your day, girls?” she asked. 

“Oda-san!” A voice called. 

“ Run ,” whispered the Other Sakura. “ Go, now. There’s something in the air. ”

They all turned. Ami was running across the field to them. Once she had caught her breath, she straightened. 

Sakura’s blood ran cold at the look in her eye. 

“Oda-san, my apologies for yelling. Would you let Sakura and Sarei stay a little longer? It’s just that… I’m going on a trip out of the village soon, and won’t be able to play with them for a long time! My dad can make sure we get home safe!” She begged.

“Well, girls? I think we can bend the rules a little bit if it’s for one of your friends.”

No, Ami was not just a child. Ami was like Sakura. Who knew if she also had another girl in her head, but that didn’t matter. The calculation in her gaze held Sakura in place. 

“Really?! Thank you, Oda-san! Sarei, Sakura, let’s keep playing!” 

Sarei whined faintly as Ami grabbed both of their hands and pulled them back across the field. It was early evening, and shadows were growing from the tree line. Why did this have to be the night that Sarei’s mom loosened up?

“Be home before dark, girls!” Sarei’s mother called from behind them. 

“I’m scared, Sakura,” Sarei whispered to her once Ami had let go of them. 

“It’ll be okay. We’ll play with them for a little while and then head home. We’ll be okay.”

“ Liar ,” hissed the other girl. “ You need to leave! The leader is dangerous .”

“I know, but I don’t want Sarei to get hurt,” Sakura murmured. 

Ami gave a quick recap of the rules and they started the first game. Since she was the leader, Ami got to choose who had what weakness. She pulled out a strips of fabric from one pocket and tied them around Sarei’s and Kasumi’s eyes. For her own limiter, Ami rolled up leaves into tiny cylinders and jammed them into her ears. That left Sakura as the mute.

As Fuki stumbled after them, she and the three other girls did their best to avoid her, while not endangering their friends. Sakura wouldn’t describe the experience as fun, but it was certainly interesting. 

The shadows grow around them, and after a while, not just the blind folded girls were stumbling in the dark. A commotion erupted from behind the jungle gym.

“Hey, watch it! I’m sitting here!” 

Sakura recognized that voice. 

The blond mystery boy.

More shouting, and Sakura made her way to the source of the noise. Kasumi had tripped over someone sitting on a swing, and now both kids were sprawled on the ground in a tangle of limbs. 

“Get off of me!”

“I’m trying, but you’re heavy! What do you eat, anyway?”

Someone’s elbow connected with someone else’s face, and Kasumi stumbled backward. The boy huffed and sat back down on the swing, staring at them petulantly. The moment he spotted Sakura, his face twisted. 

“You ruined our game, asshole!” Kasumi was already sporting a bruise on her chin. “Why do you have to ruin everything?!”

“It’s getting late. Let’s just call the game over?” Sakura asked hopefully. 

Ami appeared at her side, leaning over Sakura’s shoulder. “Weren’t you supposed to be mute, Sa-Ku-Ra?” she sang. “And the game isn’t over yet!”

“Sarei and I are done, Ami. Her mom is expecting us home.”

“Funny, I thought she said you could stay? Do you really want to leave, Sakura-chan? How about you Sarei-chan? Would you like to leave our game early? I’d really hate to see either of you give up.”

“She said they don’t want to play anymore,” the prankster snarled from the shadows. “Stop picking on younger kids. You’re being a bully!”

Ami tilted her head at boy. “What are you doing here anyway? Shouldn’t monsters be locked up?”

“Shut up!” He lunged at her. She side-stepped him and laughed as she sprawled in the dirt. 

“Get out of here, monster. You’re in our way.”

He snarled again, and Sakura felt a shiver as she felt the girl inside her echoed him. 

“Such a shame, that wild animals are allowed to wander the village. It’s so dangerous,” she drawled as he lunged at her again. She tripped him this time, and he went down. “Someone could get hurt!”

“Leave it be, Ami. We can go play somewhere else.”

Ami ignored her, focused on the boy. She had a good half foot on him, and her lips were pulled back into something that looked more grimace than smile. 

“I don’t care about the stupid game. This is far more fun!” She slammed her weight into the boy, who slapped his hands against her, trying to fend her off. 

Fuki and Kasumi were laughing nervously as they watched the exchange. To her surprise, she heard laughter from her side as well. Sarei looked miserable, but was laughing as well, although it sounded more like whimpers. 

“Let’s go!” Sakura hissed to her. “They’re distracted, we can leave!” 

Sarei nodded and they took a step to run away.

“Oh, Sarei? Where are you going? It’s so rude to leave without saying goodbye!”

“Let’s go, Sarei!” Sakura said again. “We’ll deal with them later! Let’s leave!”

“No,” whispered Sarei, tearfully. “I have to stay, Sakura. If they make fun of me at school again…” 

Sakura could picture it now. Sarei wasn’t like her. She needed to belong, to not be an outsider. Crossing Ami may not be a problem for Sakura in the long run, but the other kids would eat Sarei alive. 

Ami and the boy were still wrestling. He seemed to be holding his own against the bigger kid, wiggling and squirming as she tried to hold him. Sakura could help him, but what would that do? It wasn’t like Ami would leave him or Sarei alone. It wasn’t like all the adults in the village didn’t already hate him. This was just one painful point in a bigger string of painful points. Sakura couldn’t change anything. 

The atmosphere changed when Ami grabbed a branch from the ground and whipped the boy across the face. He reeled back, breathing quick. 

“Ami, that’s enough…” That was Kasumi. She’d stopped laughing quite some time ago. “Let’s go. Sakura was right, it’s getting late.”

Ami ignored her, advancing on the boy. She was whispering to herself, too low to hear. Faster than she had moved before, she brought her leg up and kicked the boy squarely in the chest. He tumbled back and tripped over the swing. The chain looped around  his leg, holding it tight, even as he thrashed against it.

Ami stood near his head, staring at him with the most hate Sakura had ever seen in a person. She brought her foot own on his wrist, pinning it in place.

“Oy! Get off of me!” He was wiggling now. 

The older didn’t move. 

What had he done, to be hated so much? Why was Ami fixated on him, like he was responsible for all the pain in existence.

“ She’s dangerous, Maggot. ” 

The other Sakura was right.

“Stop, Ami,” a chilly voice said. 

It was her own, Sakura realized. 

Ami threw a disdainful look over her shoulder at Sakura. 

“What? Is this freak your friend or something?” 

“Sakura, what are you doing?” Sarei was nervous, tugging at Sakura’s sleeve. 

She shook the other girl off. 

“If you like him so much, wanna take his place?”

She didn’t care, if she did. She was about to say so, to tell Ami to go screw herself. Just try, she wanted to say. Put me on the ground and see what happens. 

And then she saw Sarei in his place. Sarei tangled in the chain, shielding her face. Sarei, the only one who tolerated Sakura, accepted her weirdness, and didn’t walk away at the offer of friendship. Sakura wouldn’t be the one bearing the consequences of her actions.   

She glanced down at the boy and—

She couldn’t tell what emotion was in the boy’s eyes, but whatever it was, it burned through to her soul like foul acid. 

The smell of stinkbombs. Weeks of searching wasted. Looking up to an empty street. A bag of sweets left against a wall. A moment of vulnerability, rejected.

He had no right to look at her like that, no right to feel betrayal. What, did he think she was going to come to his rescue? That was something friends did.

“He’s not my friend.” 

“Oh, good, then this won’t be a problem.” Ami suddenly straddled the boy, resting her weight on his chest. 

“Get off! I can’t breathe!” He tried to push her off, but his leg was still caught in the chain of the swing. 

“Sakura,” she began. Her tone was formal, like her mother’s when completing a business deal. “I’d like you to do me a favor.”

“No,” she whispered. “Please-“

“Oh Sakura, I thought you made me a promise. Are you really going to break that promise?” 

Oh no. No. No no no no-

“Ami, please.” That was Fuki chiming in now.

But all Sakura could think about was her father. His laugh as he kissed her head. The way he stroked her hair. The way her mother looked away when he hugged his own daughter.

Haruno Family Rule #2: Never break a promise, and never allow it to be broken.

She couldn’t disappoint him.

“What do you want me to do?” she heard herself ask, voice cold and toneless.

“ Don’t you dare, Maggot! ” That was the other Sakura. “ Turn and run! Go! ”

“Sa… Sakura…” That was Sarei. She didn’t look at her friend, she just looked at Ami, who was smiling now. 

“Hold down his arms.”

“ Fight them! Let me help you! We can still get out of this! ” the other Sakura is screaming at her. 

Small hands wrap around her arm. Sarei. 

“Sakura, please don’t. Not for me. Don’t do this for me. We’ll figure out something. I’ll make do, just please-“

“I’m not doing this for you,” she said numbly. “I made a promise. I have to keep it.” The other girl let go and Sakura felt her arm swing back into place. 

The boy had stopped struggling. His eyes were open, locked on the sky. 

There was a beautiful sunset this evening, Sakura noted.

 She grabbed the boy by the arms. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered down to him. Tears formed in his eyes, but he refused to meet her gaze. They rolled down his cheeks, falling onto the grass below.

Is this what her mother meant, when she said that she hoped Sakura didn’t turn out like her father? Did Mebuki hope that her daughter would break promises if it meant standing up for boys who didn’t even want to be her friend?

“You know, my dad says you’re a monster.”

Ami pulled the pen from her pocket and twirled it lazily in one hand. “And if there’s one thing I know, it’s that my dad is never. Ever. Wrong.” She tapped the open nib of the pen on his bare chest with each word. Her face was bitter and strange, and she seemed to be looking beyond the boy. “He says my mom died the day you were born. Now I don’t know if those two things are connected, but if I’m being honest — and I. Am. Always. Honest.”

She drew the pen down his torso, leaving a black line. There was a crack, and the part of the pen in Ami’s fist started leaking ink onto the boy’s chest. 

“I don’t really care if they are. My mom isn’t here anymore, but you are. And he’s decided it’s your fault. Therefore, I’ve also decided it’s your fault. A monster. Is. A. Monster. ” 

The other Sakura was screeching. “ Do something! Anything! You useless bitch! ”

Ami brought her fist and the shards of the pen back down to the boy’s chest. 

When it made contact, Sakura followed its motion with her eyes, everything slow around her. 

Wasn’t the ink black, not red? She wondered, dreamily. Why was there red? Where had it come from?

The other Sakura raged in the back of her mind. 

What am I supposed to do here, Momma? What’s the next move? I don’t know the rules to this game. 

Ami’s carvings weren’t random. The bloody lines on the boy’s chest were beginning to spell something. 

‘M’

‘O’

’N’

Sakura let her eyes fall shut, blocking out the world around her. 

Someone punched her in the face. 

Finally, she thought, he’s fighting back. This will all be over soon.

Except he wasn’t. 

When she opened her eyes again, it was Sarei who was flailing her arms, striking Sakura. 

And by extension, Ami. 

Her friend’s first connected with Ami’s face. The older girl’s head snapped to the side.

“Sarei, no!” 

Sarei couldn’t see it. Sarei couldn’t possibly understand what they were dealing with. Ami was a tangle of pain and sharp edges. The older girl wouldn’t pull her punches just because she was a child. She—

Ami grabbed the front of Sarei’s shirt with both fists and hauled the smaller girl to her feet. 

For a moment, Sarei hung, suspended with her toes scraping the ground.

There was a tear of fabric as Sarei’s shirt ripped down the front. 

Sarei screamed.

It was worse than Sakura could have known. The burns and scarring extended up Sarie’s body to her neck and down to her hips. How did someone survive burns like that?

“What was it like?” Sakura had asked. “In the kiln?”

She felt sick. This was her fault. This was—

Where were the adults? Why weren’t they stopping this? She looked up, searching the edges of the field. They were alone. All the other families had gone home. She looked back to Sarei and—

Sarei stared at her with a blank expression.  

Sakura ducked to the side and tried not to give into nausea. This was her fault, this was her fault, this-

“You were the one who wanted to know,” Sarei whispered, eyes wild, arms trying in vain to shield her burns from view. “You were the one who said you liked gross things.”

Ami’s laughter echoed around the field. “Oh Kami-sama, this is too good!”

Sarei spun, scarred arms trying to cover her upper body as she sprinted across the field. 

“Sarei!” Sakura called after her. Sarei wouldn’t come back. Sarei wouldn’t look at Sakura again. 

She felt loose, floaty. This wasn’t real, she decided. This was just another one of Sarei’s stories that she had gotten too invested in, and couldn’t escape. 

“Wow! What a day!” Ami exclaimed to her right. “Well, I have to get home before my dad makes me look like her!” She laughed, cold and harsh. “Cheers, Pinkie, I’ll see you around!”

Ami walked off. Kasumi and Fuki turned to follow her. 

“Why?” Sakura hissed, “Why didn’t you do anything?”

“My dad owes her dad money. A lot of it,” Kasumi whispered, refusing to meet Sakura’s gaze. 

“She has my diary in her room.” Fuki was pale and she looked to be on the verge of hurling. “I was an idiot and wrote down stuff about my older brother’s missions. They might arrest him if they find out he told me.”

Sakura knew who “they” were, and she hated that she understood. 

“Why didn’t you do anything, useless wretch!”

The two girls left. 

It was just her and the boy, who still hadn’t moved. 

It was late evening now. She couldn’t see his expression, which was hidden in the shadows. 

Her knees were shaking and she let herself fall to the ground next to him. 

“ Pathetic, cowardly—”

“I know,” Sakura said softly. “You’re right, I’m all of those things. I don’t deserve friends. Or Sarei. Or my parents. Or even Aunt Kagami. Cowards don’t get to have friends.”

It was cold in the grass, but the feeling of dampness against her skin kept her grounded. She dug her fingers into the earth beneath them, fearing that if she let go, she might float away, drawn into the darkening sky like a leaf in a tempest.

“You’re not a coward.”

It was the first time he’d spoken since Ami brought out the pen. He was looking up at the stars, which were just beginning to peak out against the indigo void overhead. 

What the hell was he talking about?

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He still wouldn’t look at her. 

“You said earlier that you made a promise and that you had to keep it. That’s not being a coward.”

It shouldn’t matter if there had been a promise or not. She’d held down a boy so another kid could torture him. She’d stood by as her frie- someone she cared about was forced into reliving something horrible. 

When her dad came back, would he still be proud of her? Would he still say ‘always keep your promises and never let your promises be broken’ if she told him about what she’d let happen?

It scared her to realize she had no idea if he would or not. She couldn’t decide if that made her feel better or worse. 

“If cowards don’t get to have friends, then neither do monsters. That’s why I way away last time. It would make them hate you too, y’know? If we were friends. If you were nice to me. It would’t be fair. They might keep on hating you even afterwards, and then we’d both be monsters to them.”

Afterwards? Ah, Sakura remembered now. He meant after she found her answer. She would leave him, wouldn’t she? Once the question had been answered, what was the point of sticking around? The hate would stick to her like tar and never leave, and then they’d both be pariahs. 

But that assumed that she was just a normal little girl who got wrapped up in a mystery. It didn’t account for what she actually was.

“I think they’ll hate me anyway,” she whispered. “They might not right now, but they will someday. I’m not… normal.”

I hope, for your sake, that you take after me, rather than your father.

“Sorry, Momma.”

Something touched Sakura’s hand, and she lifted her head to see what it was. His pinky finger was brushing against hers, tentative and unsure. He was still turned away, but faint red splotches were visible on his cheeks and under his eyes. 

He had whisker-shaped scars on his cheeks, she noticed. Had this happened before? Is that why he decided not to fight back? Because he already knew what Ami was going to do to him?

“I’m not going to let that happen again,” Sakura said, to both him and the other girl. “I promise.”

She slid her hand into his. He took in a ragged breath. It was only once Sakura couldn’t stop her shivering that she removed her hand. She sat up and her head spun violently. 

A hand was thrust into her field of vision. She took it and he pulled her to her feet. Her hand looked ghostly against his tanned skin. She didn’t let go, even once the dizziness passed.

It was dark now. She couldn’t go back to Sarei’s.

“We both should head home,” she told him. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to deal with stupid civilians and the curfew.”

“Heh, yeah. Not really in the mood either, although it is pretty fun to outrun them.” 

“Haruno Sakura.”

His startled expression made her laugh, and then it morphed into one of the most blinding smiles she’d even seen.

“I’m Uzumaki Naruto, number one prankster of Konoha! I’m gonna be the Hokage one day and I’m gonna ban all bullies and mean people from the village, dattebayo!”

“I’m happy to have met you, Naruto.” 

“Same here, Sakura-chan! I’ll see you around!” 

He waved at her as he ran off, practically skipping. 

They may not be friends now, but maybe they would be, someday. She would find her answer and then make a list of everyone who’d ever hurt him. And then she’d make sure they never did it again. 

Because if he could smile at her like she was the sun, and not the pathetic coward she really was, then he was worth the risk. She wasn’t the friend he deserved, and she would never be. But maybe, if she found her answer, she could help him find that person in the future.

If it could bring back a smile to his face, even just for a moment, then she owed it to him to try.

Chapter Text

The walk back to her aunt’s house was tense and quiet. 

“What was it like,” she had asked, “inside the kiln?”

Seeing Sarei again wasn’t an option. No doubt, Sakura was now one of the biggest sources of pain for the other girl. Sarei would never want to see Sakura again, and she had to make her peace with that. She also had to make her peace with her own cowardice. 

Maybe one day, Sakura would apologize to Sarei like she deserved. In the meantime, Sakura would lick her wounds, hide, and survive. 

She wasn’t surprised when leaves rustled to her right. 

“What are you doing out so late again, Pinkie? Hoping for another ride on the Tanuki express?” 

Very little about the masked man from Roach’s shop  had changed. He had new arm guards, but his mask and bandana were the same. 

“Lost on the road of life, I guess,” she said, copying something her dad said on occasion. 

Tanuki snorted. “Kami-sama, that’s who you remind me of! You’re a tiny Hound, angst and all!”

“Why are you following me if you’re just gonna make fun of me?”

“Oh, so I’m not allowed to help a poor little girl who’s still far from home?” His voice softened. 

“You shouldn’t give rides to cowards,” she said before she could stop herself. She turned away so she didn’t have to look at  him. 

Without warning, she was swept off her feet and thrown over his shoulder. 

“Put me down!” 

“No way, Pinkie. It’s time for you to get home.”

“I’m not…” To her horror, she was starting to cry. She rubbed furiously at her eyes. “I’m not just a little kid. You shouldn’t be nice to me. I’m a coward, I…”

“Now hold on just a second. Who’s telling you those things?” 

“No one. I just… please. Don’t be nice to me. I don’t deserve it.”

Tanuki resumed walking, appearing to be deep in thought. 

“Care to tell me why a little girl thinks such mean things about herself?”

If this were any other night, she might just laugh and lie. She might ask him questions to distract him. She might try to struggle out of his grip and run in the opposite direction. 

“Did you know,” she began, “that there’s a species of snake in Cloud Country that can survive being cut in half?”

“Really?”

“It’s called the White-Nosed Grain Snake. It’s able to regenerate up to 50% of its body mass when injured.”

“Do you have a textbook back there or something, kid?”

She ignored him. “It can’t do it all the time, though, and it needs two things to be able to do it. First, it needs to go underground for six months to hivernate-“

“Hibernate,” he corrected. 

“Hibernate, thank you. It needs to hibernate for six months. Second, it needs a high-calorie food source.” 

Tanuki didn’t leap across the rooftops like her dad, she noticed. He preferred to take the scenic route, strolling along them as if they were just sidewalks. If he wanted to, he could probably have her back at her aunt’s in a matter of seconds. She was glad for the time to mentally prepare. 

“But there aren’t many other animals in that part of Cloud Country.”

Aunt Kagami might actually hit her this time, Sakura thought. She’d deserve it.

“It usually has to eat other snakes to survive.”

“Any reason in particular you’ve decided to go animal guidebook on me, Pinkie?” His tone was jovial, but she could feel the tension in his body through his armor. 

“What if the only other snakes around it are its friends? What if they’re its parents? How can it make friends with other snakes, knowing that one day it might have to eat them to survive? It might make choices that hurt the people around it, just because it made a promise to someone. What if it doesn’t deserve to be around other snakes and the snake police take it away and hurt its snake family and…” 

She hiccuped. 

“That’s… awfully heavy, Pinkie.”

“I don’t want to be like the White-Nosed Grain Snake, Tanuki-san.”

“You don’t have to be.”

Her parents. Aunt Kagami. Sarei. Naruto. 

Choices and chess-moves. 

“I think I already am.”

“Let me tell you my own animal fact. Once upon a time, there was a little tanuki.”

“Is this actual information or are you just gonna tell a made-up story?”

“Be normal for like two seconds and enjoy it! And it’s a little of both. So, as I was saying, there was a tanuki. The tanuki was really good at… Juggling. When the tanuki was young, his family died. After that, he didn’t have many friends, so he just spent all of his time practicing. One day, he became so good at juggling that the king asked him to be his personal juggler. The little tanuki agreed because he didn’t have anything better to do. Over time, the little tanuki became friends with the king. It was the first time he wasn’t lonely.”

“You’re the tanuki, right?” 

“Maybe. Stop interrupting and you might find out.”

“Sorry.”

“One day, a fox attacked the kingdom. The little tanuki was scared, but he told the king he’d protect him at all costs, because the king was the first friend he’d made since his family died and his life mattered more than the tanuki’s. When he told this to the king, the king was angry. He said the tanuki’s life was just as important.”

“The king knew he was going to die that night, no matter what happened, and didn’t want the tanuki to die as well. He asked the tanuki to respect his wishes and save himself. Well, the tanuki listened and the king did die. The little tanuki was left alone again.”

He paused. When he began again, his voice was softer. 

“But he didn’t feel as alone as he did before. Even though his friend was gone, the tanuki remembered the lessons the king taught him. He could be that person to others, even if he still…”

“Still what?”

“Even if he still regretted his decision to leave.”

“But he would have died if he stayed.”

Sakura waited for Tanuki to respond, but he didn’t. 

“The tanuki is still lonely, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, but now he has more friends who help. I still don’t know if I would make that choice again, but I’ve resolved to protect my important people at all costs whenever I have the power.”

“I didn’t,” she whispered. “I let something bad happen to someone close to me. I just watched and… I hate myself for it.”

He stopped walking. They weren’t far from her aunt’s house. He kneeled down and lifted her from his back. He turned her so she was facing him.

“We’ve all done things we regret. If you had the chance to go back and change it, would you?”

Would she change things? 

Naruto, crying silently as Ami dug the pen into his flesh, carving out the letters M, O, and N. 

Sarei, running away from her, naked from the waist-up. 

She wished she could change things.

But,

Her father, kissing her forehead. 

She despised herself for the doubt she felt even now, the mantra of the Haruno family rules running through her mind. 

“We’ve all been there too, Pinkie,” Tanuki said. “Promises are hard to break.”

She wanted to yell at him, to tell him he had no idea what he was talking about. Before she could lash out, he had lifted his mask a fraction so she could see the lower half of his face, and was looking at her with a sad smile. 

“The worst part about having made horrible mistakes is knowing I might not be strong enough to make the right decision in the future, even now.”

“How do you survive it?” she asked. “Knowing that about yourself?”

“I won’t lie to you, it’s hard. We all find different ways to make do. I have friends in my life who won’t let me forget who I am. It helps.”

She had started crying at some point, and wiped at her face. 

“I’m scared, Tanuki. That’s okay, right?”

“Absolutely.”

The kitchen light was on. When she requested that he bring her directly to her aunt’s bedroom window, he complied and didn’t ask why. He ruffled her hair as he left. 

It would have to be enough, she decided as she silently crawled into her bedroll, not bothering to change her clothes. That kernel of doubt she still felt, the worry that she would continue to make choices that hurt those chose cared about — maybe someday it wouldn’t be there. Maybe someday, it wouldn’t bring memories of pens and torn shirts to mind. 

But for now, just knowing that she was going to try to be better was enough.

Grounded. Forever. 

No books, no hiding in the backroom. No wandering the village. Any time she had outside of helping in the shop was to be spent cleaning the apartment above. She was also sentenced to washing the bolts of fabric in near-boiling water. 

Aunt Kagami would also be speaking to her parents so they could continue the punishment upon their return, which would be sooner than either Sakura or her aunt had expected. 

She was forbidden from going anywhere without adult supervision. This was a consequence of lying to all the adults in her life.

Apparently, Aunt Kagami had received a letter from Sakura’s parents while she had been at Sarei’s house. They would be returning home early, they had written, probably within the week. The altitude in northern Fire Country had inflamed her father’s lungs and he now required care from Konoha General. 

Apparently, upon receiving the news, Aunt Kagami had gone to Sarei’s house to tell Sakura. Instead of finding her niece and her niece’s only friend playing together, she had found a little girl crying hysterically, being comforted by her mother. 

Apparently, Sarei had remained tight-lipped about what had happened, only saying that Sakura hadn’t walked her home that night, leaving her to make her way through the village by herself, shirtless and bleeding. 

Apparently, Sakura’s aunt had stayed up all night waiting for her return, only to find the girl had somehow snuck into her bedroll without alerting her.

Apparently, the trade agreement between the Oda family and Haruno Fabrics was a thing of the past, along with the Haruno family’s access to the Oda trade networks, and therefore, nearly half of its foreign business contacts.

In the morning, Aunt Kagami had made her scrub the floor of the entire shop with a tiny brush. When she paused, Kagami would snap at her and Sakura didn’t fight back. She didn’t let Sakura rest until the girl collapsed face-first into the hardwood floor, arms shaking from exhaustion and hunger.  

Sakura felt she deserved much worse.  She spent the next day waiting for the other shoe to drop. It never did. 

Sarei deserved so much better. 

“Sakura, stop hiding behind me, it’s childish.”

“Sorry, Aunt Kagami.” She unwound her hands from her aunt’s skirts. She hated returning to the park.

“You’re going to stay here with a friend of mine while I run errands and under no circumstances are you allowed to leave!” 

“Do I have to?” she whined, but already knew the answer. “Can’t I just go with you?”

“ Sniveling brat. ” 

“Absolutely not!” her aunt chided. “This is a punishment, Sakura.”

Sakura ducked her head 

“Now go. Yono’s over there. You’re going to help her watch her children while I’m gone and you’re not going to complain. Not a single hint of trouble. Do you understand?” 

“ Cowardly— ”

The other Sakura had been growing in volume over the course the day. Her ears ached with each barb.

“Sakura, I asked if you understood me!” 

“Yes, ma’am.”

Her aunt sighed. She held out a hand to Sakura. “Give me the book.”

“But Aunt Kagami!”

“No books. You’re here to help my friend, not to read in the corner.” 

Sakura handed over her the book she kept hidden in her coat. Kagami looked at the cover and sighs. “Weather Patterns of the Land of Fire: A Geological Survey. Do you even understand anything in this?”

“Why would I have it if I couldn’t?” She muttered. 

Her aunt just shook her head. “I suggest you watch that tone, unless you want to spend the next three days locked in your room. Remember,” she said and gripped Sakura’s arm tightly, “behave, or your parents will hear about it.” 

“Yes, ma’am.”

Her aunt put the book in her satchel and pointed to her friend across the field. 

“Go!”

Sakura wandered away. She’d met her Aunt’s friend Yono a few times in the shop, but had no fondness for the woman. Her kids were all younger than Sakura, and they spent more time shrieking than breathing.

Yono kept up a steady stream of conversation with Sakura as the girl kept her rowdy spawn in the immediate vicinity. When they weren’t toddling away and screaming with every breath of air they inhaled, they wanted nothing more than to climb all over Sakura. They were especially interested in her secret back-up book, which she kept on the inside pocket of her jacket. When one of them left a puddle of droll on its cover, she had to fight to keep from smacking the child. 

After an hour, Yono told her she’d earned a short break and Sakura shuffled over to sit beneath a tree far enough away to escape the shrieks of Yono’s spawn. The book in her coat was one of her dad’s. She had grabbed a few from his study before going to her aunt’s earlier in the summer, and it was easily one of her most prized positions. The spine was gunky from sticky note adhesive and there were comments penned all through the margins. His running commentary on mundane details had a way of calming her frayed nerves. 

To her credit, Sakura really did try to not cause trouble. 

Ami’s foot connected with Sakura’s temple and she fought not to wretch. 

The other girl had a new black eye and was full of untamed hatred. Her usual companions were both there as well, also glaring at Sakura with contempt. 

“Do you know how much trouble I got into? Why the hell did you tell my dad!?” She drew back her foot to kick Sakura again, who was able to dodge it (barely) by flinging herself to the side. 

“I didn’t tell anyone! Let me alone!”

“You’re a fucking liar.” Wait, that wasn’t Ami. Fuki had said that. The short girl was glaring at Sakura, furious. “Your aunt told my parents and now I’m not allowed to enroll in the Academy until next year!”

“Like that’s my fault! You’re the ones who—” She got a swift punch in the gut from Ami and doubled over. 

“ Let me out, weakling. ”

A low pounding started in Sakura’s temples and the constant murmuring of the girl inside her picked up in volume. Sakura gritted her teeth against the pain. 

“No!”

She felt a hand sneak under her coat and watched in horror as Kasumi held the book aloft.

“What’s this? Hidden In Plain Sight: A History of the Hidden Villages.” She tossed it from hand to hand and Sakura saw several of her father’s page markers flutter down to the grass. 

Ami gasped delighted “Guys, Pinkie here wants to be a shinobi!”

“Give that back!” She jumped for it, but the other girls were too tall. 

“ Let me make them ,” hissed the voice. “ I’ll fix what you’ve broken! ”

Sakura ground her teeth and jammed her palms against her ears. 

“Go away! I’m not letting you out!”

In her distraction, she didn’t notice Ami’s foot as it hooked behind her ankles and brought her to the ground. 

“Awww, we’ve got ourselves a little shinobi!” Ami laughed. She crouched down to look Sakura in the eyes. “Did you know my dad’s a Chunin? How about I show you what being a shinobi really means?”

In a flash, she slid behind Sakura and snaked her arm around the younger girl’s neck. She stood, laughing she as she dragged Sakura to her feet, twisting her other hand in Sakura’s rosy locks.

“ Let me fight her. I’ll hunt her, show her what pain is, show her what your cowardly little body can do. I’ll— ”

Sakura struggled against Ami’s grip. Girls their age shouldn’t be this strong, but Ami seemed to be forged from iron. Her elbows dug into the taller girl, but Ami showed no signs of stopping. 

“ You’ll never win! She’s faced worse things that you, Maggot. Let me out, let me show her! Her throat is uncovered. I can— ”

Ami spun them both around and slammed Sakura face-first against the bark of the tree she had been sitting beneath.

Her breath was hot and ragged when she spoke into Sakura’s ear. 

“Being a shinobi,” she whispered, “means being a bloodthirsty cunt.” Her tongue slid along the shell of Sakura’s ear.

“Get the hell of me! What’s wrong with you?!” 

Ami cackled.

“That’s nothing! Just think about what we’re gonna do to your little friend Scar-ei!”

“ If you want to save your friend, let me out! I’ll do what you couldn’t! ”

“Leave her alone!” Sakura begged, “We’re not friends anymore, she has nothing to do with me!”

“You think that fucking matters, Pinkie?”

Ami’s lips slid over Sakura’s ear again and the older girl bit down hard. With a furious shriek, Sakura slammed her hear back and felt the back of her skull connect with the other girl’s face.

“You bitch! You broke my nose!” Sakura felt a sharp burst as Ami’s foot connected with her temple. 

“ Grab her ankle and twist. She favors her right tendon! ”

“No! I don’t want to hurt them!”

“Is she… talking to herself?” 

“ Use the gravel beneath your hands, it will blind them. Aim for the tall girl, she’s the strongest! ”

Another kick from Ami stunned her momentarily.

She tried not to wretch when a fusion of pain and nausea washed over her.

Sakura was tired. She wasn’t strong enough to stop this. Deep in her heart, she knew any attempt to fight back would only anger Ami further. 

“ Maggot, you have to fight back to survive! ”

Concern colored the other girl’s voice, but Sakura ignored her. This was justice. Justice, for the way she had let Sarei suffer. Justice, for what had happened to Naruto as she stood by. Just like the day before, she would endure whatever punishment she was given.

“Ami, that’s enough…”

“Shut it!” Ami snarled. 

“Fuki’s right, Ami. We’re going to get in trouble!”

“Trouble? Hah!” Ami paused her attack, straightening from her crouch. “I’m already in fucking trouble! You think my dad’s going to stop if we leave her alone?”

As Ami drew back her foot again, it split into two images, wavering at the edges. This time, there was less pain when Ami’s sandal met her skull. Instead, the world around her sloshed back and forth. Ghostly after-images bloomed as Sakura’s eyes drooped. 

“ Maggot, you have to— ”

“No,” Sakura whispered, letting her eyes fall closed and sinking back into the peaceful numbness settling into her bones. “I deserve this.”

Ami laughed. 

“See? Even she agrees!”

A rustle of movement came from beyond, but Sakura let herself drift. She didn’t bother bracing for the next kick.

“ If you won’t fight back, I will! ”

Sakura felt another sharp pain in her forehead but this time, it wasn’t Ami’s foot. This time, it came from deep in her skull. Her world constricted down to the feeling of gravel between her fingers, the whisper of wind against her cheek, the ache of her skull. 

Without instruction, her eyes flew open and her hands clenched, rough stones digging into her palms and—

And.

And. 

And.

And she sees her body moving without her. 

What ever took her place wasn’t her.

The Sakura-like creature flips, back no longer pressed against the earth. Instead, it twists into a crouch, fist clenching around a handful of gravel.

It snarls.

It moves.

In horror, she watches as its arm winds back and launches the handful of rocks. They fly through the air as fast as hawks diving through the sky. 

In a collage of grays and whites, the next images play in slow motion.

Kasumi never had time to dodge. The stones connect with her eyes. The tall girl doubles over, clawing frantically as clear fluid dribbles between her fingers.

Sakura’s body doesn’t stop moving.

Ami stares dumbfounded at her friend and she can hear the girl chanting, sees the Sakura-like creature’s mouth move with each word.

“Blood, blood, blood—”

Not-Sakura reaches forward, one hand outstretched, each finger curled into a claw. 

Ami is terrified, mouth open in the beginnings of a scream as she turns to run. She’s not fast enough. 

Not-Sakura’s arm follows her and connects. 

Three claw-fingers catch in the corner of Ami’s mouth, just like a hook through the gill of a fish. 

Sakura’s body exerts a quick yank, using its hold on Ami’s face to throw the girl to the side. 

Something tears beneath numb fingers and there’s no longer a lip to hold. Dark liquid coats her hand, but Not-Sakura doesn’t stop. Still in slow motion, her body leaps over the fallen girl. 

As soon as her feet touched the ground, the world snapped back into a frenzy of sound. 

Sakura barely had a chance to catch her balance before she regained control. Her throat burned as she sprinted across the park grounds. Behind her, voices howled. She didn’t stop moving. 

As she crashed through the layer of underbrush at the edge of the park, she finally began to slow. The fogginess was returning with each gasp she took, but she didn’t stop running until she could no longer hear noise behind her.

Was this what drowning was like? She pressed back against a tree and tried to control her breathing, but her body had other ideas. Her world tilted around her and with a strangled cry, she frantically prayed she wasn’t losing control again. A stab of pain in her skull sent her into terror. It wasn’t the other girl again, was it? She could never let her take over, never let her through again.

“Please no, please no, please no,” she chanted. 

The girl inside her made no sign of movement. Instead of the near-constant mumble of abuse, she felt a deep, quiet void.

People were coming. They were still far off, but the sound of feet through the underbrush and loud voices were growing louder.

She had to run, but there was nothing left. Every twitch sent fresh lances of pain through her head, and she was left gasping frantically at the base of the tree. Unlike her breaths, her thoughts were sluggish.

They would catch her.

She would never see her dad again.

But then, she deserved to be caught. 

She hadn’t seen the aftermath of her… escape. Whatever had happened was her responsibility. Besides, her aunt was coming back for her. What would happen if she returned and Sakura was missing?

A hand wrapped around her mouth and another under one arm and she was suddenly lifted from the ground. Branches smacked against her as she flew through the air, pressed tightly into someone’s side. Some distant part of her mind told her to fight against her abductor, but every thought felt miles away, like they belonged to someone else. 

At some point, she’d stopped moving and her feet now rested on a solid surface. 

“Give me your hand,” a soft voice commanded.  

She held it out, feeling the tremors that shuddered through her whole body. Dark red covered both of her forearms and she had to bite her lip to keep from screaming.

A gloved hand gently grasped her wrist and she felt her palm connect with stiff cloth. She felt the person breathe and then breathe out. She tried to inhale along with the person and notices her breath gradually slowed. 

After another few breaths, she finally looked at her surroundings and almost panicked all over again. 

She was in a tree. 

On a branch. 

At least 20 feet off the ground. 

A strong arm locked around her waist, keeping her in place as she jolted in terror. 

A figure in a familiar mask crouched beside her.

“Rat?” 

Her own voice was foreign, rough. She cleared her throat. The boy before her didn’t respond, tense and as still as the grave.

She tried again.

“Rat, if it’s you… I n-need to… go back to the park. Can you take me back?”

He stood silently, still holding her to his side. He didn’t look down at her, even as she removed her hand from his chest plate. 

Rat tensed without warning and leapt and Sakura was reminded of her father for a brief moment. They sped along the branches in the opposite direction of the park.  

“Rat, please… my aunt is supposed to meet there and I-I need to make s-sure that Ami is… that she’s not….” Sakura fought back a sob. “That she’s okay…”

He said nothing and Sakura started to cry in earnest. Her headache was returning in full force and she regretted ever meeting Rat. 

She opened her mouth to yell, to bite, to do anything to get him to stop and turnaround and—

And.

And.

And.

And finds herself back in the graveyard in front of a familiar grave with a familiar girl before her.

The other Sakura was hunched over the headstone, still holding the bouquet of dead flowers in front of her face.

“Why would you hurt her like that?” Sakura yelled. “You just took control- and y-you-you didn’t even… Why w-would you d-do that?!” 

The other Sakura was as still as stone.

“Why are you even in my head?! I hate you!” 

No one ever told her anything. 

Not her parents, not Rat, not her Aunt Kagami, and certainly not this other Sakura. 

Not even her own mind was honest with her and Sakura wanted to scream and rage and burn and destroy. 

She lunged for the flowers in the other girl’s hand.

Her eyes weren’t fast enough to track the other girl’s movements.

The other Sakura had one hand clamped around her throat, the other hand still serenely holding up the bouquet of flowers. Sakura’s feet dangled off the ground.

She let go and the smaller girl crumpled to the ground, gasping. 

“One day I’ll grow tired of your weakness, Maggot.”

Chapter Text

“Wake up, Sakura.”

It was a male voice. It wasn’t her dad. 

She kept her eyes clamped shut.

“I’d advise you not to waste my time. It would leave a poor first impression.”

She didn’t need the girl inside of her to tell her she was in danger. She could feel it in the same way a mouse would feel the presence of a mountain lion.

Wherever she was, it was dark and cold. The room was large, but she was resting in a chair only a few feet away from him. He too was sitting, impassive. 

Bandages wrapped one side of his body and his face. Even in the dim lighting, she could see scars cross-hatching his visible skin.  A cane rested at his side. 

“Our introduction is long overdue, Miss Haruno. You may address me as Danzo-Sama. I would very much like to hear about the incident at the park.”

Are there any doors she could use to escape? To her dismay, the room didn’t appear to have a single entry in the stone walls. Electric lamps hung from the ceiling, and the only things in the room were their two chairs and the short table between them. 

“Miss Haruno, I ask that you be mindful of time.” He tapped a finger against an armrest. 

“I’m sorry, Danzo-Sama, but I don’t know what you’re—”

“My dear, I’m afraid you’re under the wrong impression. At this moment, you represent a potential threat to the safety of this village and its people. Make no mistake, you are here so we may evaluate this risk.”

Why was this happening? She was eight, eight! Sure, she was a weirdo, but it wasn’t like she was dangerous.

No, that wasn’t true anymore, was it? 

Besides, she had never been normal.

Her dad’s frequent trips away from home, the scrolls he kept locked in a sealed chest in his office.  

The meetings her father had late at night, after she and her mother went to bed. 

The strange people he spoke to during their visits to the cemetery. 

The way she could never seem to get along with other kids. 

The feeling of her fingers in Ami’s mouth.

The other girl in her mind.

“What happened at the park, Miss Haruno?” 

She knew, deeper than she knew anything else, deeper than her gut or her bones, deep in the fibers of her cells, that she should not tell this man about the other Sakura.

“I… got in a fight.” 

Tap. Tap.

“They were picking on me. I wanted them to stop so I…. I pushed them so I could run away.”

“You did a great deal more than that,” he said. 

She gulped. Exactly how much did he know?

He smiled dryly. 

“Kahoe Kasumi and Yatsumabo Ami have both been admitted to Kohona General. Shenshi Fuki has been enrolled in intensive counseling at the insistance of her family. I’m not interested in schoolyard squabbles. What I am interested in,” he said, laying a hand on a sheet of paper on the table between them, “is how an eight-year-old civilian girl manages to mutilate two of her shinobi-born peers.”

He flipped over the paper and Sakura had to fight to keep from vomiting.

Photographs. Two of them. One was of Kasumi while the other was of Ami. The pictures were clearly taken in a hospital. Kasumi’s left eye was a dribbling mess of blood and white jelly, the other was red and irritated. Kasumi stared off into space, seemingly oblivious to the photographer.

Somehow, the photo of Ami was worse. A jagged red slash extended from the corner of the girls mouth to the edge of her jaw. She was obviously sobbing in the picture. Gloved hands held her against a metal backdrop. 

“Help me,” she whispered to the other girl. She heard nothing in return. There are no murmurs, no faint mumbling of danger. “Please, I don’t know what to do.”

“Tell me how an eight-year-old civilian” Danzo continued, “could do that to two shinobi-born children.”

It wasn’t that the other girl refused to help her, Sakura realized. It was that she couldn’t. A cold, still silence resided where she usually felt the other Sakura. 

Exhaustion had taken the place of the other girl.

She was on her own.

“Do you know what happens to children who lie to their elders?”

They were hurt. They disappeared. They never saw their families again. They didn’t get to have friends if they were dead.

In her minds eye, she saw a granite table, checkered in squares. 

Unlike the black and whites of her family’s chess board, there was a patchwork of grays, ranging from cloudy ivory to onyx. The pieces were scattered with no regard for their proper placements, intermingling in groups and clusters. 

She knew, back in the real world, that Danzo-Sama was waiting for her answer, and that the cold of the floor was making her toes go numb. 

But in this place, in front of this table, she finally had a moment alone to breathe. 

“For your sake, I hope you take after me,” her mother had whispered over their game. 

“You and I… We don’t think like other people, do we? The things other people care about, sometimes it’s hard to understand why they matter so much,” her father had said, teaching her lessons she had no reason to learn.

“I wish I could tell you that you can trust everyone in the village,” Shisui had said in the park, shoulders heavy under invisible burdens.

There had to be a way out of this room. She had promises to keep. What could she say to him, to stay alive? 

If she told him about the other Sakura, Danzo-Sama would eat her alive. He and his shadows would strip the flesh from her bones without a second thought. She was minutes from being shuffled away, just like her father had warned. 

Could she lie to him? 

“ He’ll… see right through… you ,” the other girl whispered, faint, watery, barely more than a ghost. “ Survive or keep… your promises. No way… to have both. ”

She picked up her favorite piece. The tiny black knight rested in her palm and she did the only thing she could think of.

With her eyes still closed, she began to speak.

“My dad’s been teaching me how to use chakra. He said to keep it a secret.”

“Oh? Tell me, how exactly has your father been teaching you to use chakra?”

“Um, with tree walking and moving around a coin—”

“Not what, but how, Miss Haruno.”

“I… I’m not sure what you mean?”

He almost purred his next words. “It must be so hard, teaching through words alone.”

“No, he showed me how to do both.”

“Ah, like a demonstration? As in, he used chakra to show you how?”

“ Choose… Maggot .”

In this moment, her life changed, although it would take her years to realize this. 

The black knight made a click as she placed it back down on the granite table. 

“Yes, Danzo-Sama. He demonstrated it for me.”

She opened her eyes to see Danzo-Sama watching her with satisfaction.

“Oh, Kizashi, Kizashi,” Danzo chuckled. “What a surprise, after all these years!”

Were there things worse than betraying your family? At what point did survival turn into selfishness?

“Miss Haruno, thank you for your candor.” 

She felt the moment his attention turned from her, no longer viewing her like prey but instead a discarded carcass, already picked clean. 

She let out a ragged breath in relief. 

Shadows collected along the edges of the room and the tell-tale flicker of lamplight on porcelain.

“Thank you for your hospitality,” she responded mechanically. “Would you mind if I stayed awake, when the masks take me away? I don’t want to be put to sleep again today and—”

She felt air displace behind her and she was unconscious before she finished her sentence.

She woke up in her aunt’s bedroom. For a few minutes, she just breathed and stared up at the ceiling. Not yet sitting up, she did a quick internal inventory. The base of her neck throbbed. 

A few other areas hurt. 

Her eyes, probably from being closed for so long. 

Her legs, probably from running away from the park. 

Her throat, probably from screaming

Her hands, probably from—

She took in a ragged breath and covered her eyes with her arm. She couldn’t bare looking at her hands. They might still be stained reddish-brown. Was it possible to go through life and never have to look at one of your body parts again?

The silence was heavy in the room, and Sakura felt its weight more than usual. She almost reached out to the other girl out of habit, but stopped herself. 

More silence from the back of her mind. If the other girl was there, she wasn’t saying anything unprompted. Sakura didn’t know how to feel about her. Horror, pain, gratitude, and relief all fought for control. They mixed in her chest and she swallowed. It was too much.

She moved her arm away from her eyes and looked back up at the ceiling. It struck her that it was darker than usual. With a lurch, she sat up and looked around. 

Horror was winning, she realized. 

Horror was winning because the window by her aunt’s bedroll had boards nailed over it. Horror was winning because the only thing left in the room was the bedroll on the floor. It wasn’t even her own, she saw. Her small stack of books was gone, as was her bag of clothes and her now cherished sunhat. There was nothing but Sakura and someone else’s bedroll.

Horror won when she tried the door to the room and found it locked. 

“Aunt Kagh…” she tried to call. Her voice was hoarse, a croak more than anything else. She tried again. 

“Aunt Kagami? Are you there?” She knocked against the door. “I think… I think you locked me in here by mistake.”

She waited for a response. She heard nothing from the other side of the door. 

“There’s nothing in here, Aunt Kagami, and the window is all boarded up.” Her body was taking breaths on its own, rapid and shallow. “Auntie? It’s cold, I think you left me in here by mistake! Aunt Kagami!”

She swung at the door. It made a muffled thump but didn’t even rattle the frame. It wasn’t just locked, she realized. Something heavy was bracing the other side. 

To make keep what was in the room from possibly getting out. 

To keep her from getting out. 

“Aunt Kagami!” she screamed. “Please let me out! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to- I didn’t- I-I-It was an accident! I won’t do it again!”

She pounded her fists against the door. 

“I’ll be good! I won’t talk to anyone ever again, I’ll stay home, I’ll help in the shop, I’ll stay away from other kids… please!” 

When nothing happened, she ran to the other side of the room and tried pulling at the boards on the window. They didn’t budge, and Sakura realized with horror that over a dozen nails were driven into each end of each board, like someone had wanted to keep her in here no matter what, like they were scared, like they were terrified. 

“I’M SORRY!” she screamed again. “I’M SORRY!” She clawed at the boards, knowing it was useless, knowing that her weak hands and weak arms could do nothing against wood and metal. 

But they could do plenty against flesh, her mind whispered. They could do more than just pound against it like a weakling, they could—

Could-

Could. 

Could. 

Sakura felt the leaves beneath her leaves, the press of cold earth as her fingers dug into the ground she was kneeling on. 

Back in the graveyard, again.

Her hands could do nothing. And everything. 

Dead leaves crackled as something kneeled at her side.

“I shouldn’t have,” the other girl began.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” Sakura screamed at her, not looking up. “JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!”

She pressed her forehead against the dirt and sobbed.

She didn’t like to think about her time in the bedroom. 

Looking back, it couldn’t have been more than two or three days. She would learn later that solitary confinement was far more dangerous to shinobi than a gut wound. They were trained for what to do when captured by the enemy, ways to keep their dignity as long as possible, how to keep sane when confinement eroded their minds. They were trained to prolong the inevitable, and Sakura herself knew she could withstand much longer than two days held by an enemy. 

But at the time, it had felt like an eternity. 

The had been no food, no water, and no contact. 

Water was what she missed the most. Sure, she was hungry, and never stopped hoping that her aunt would hear her cries and change her mind. And yeah, she was thirstier than she had ever been before. Her throat burned with every breath, and by the time the fine strands of light that filtered through the window’s boards turned bright again,  she had trouble keeping her balance through her dizziness. The smell of her own waste in the corner burned her nose. 

Despite all that, the main problem was her hands. They were still dirty. 

She tried to rub the reddish-brown smudges on the walls, the floor, the bedroll, but they remained firmly embedded in her skin. She even tried using her spit to remove them, but found the phantom taste of iron and bile made her retch.  

She ripped off strips of the bedroll and wound them around her fingers and palms. It helped a little. 

The coin was still in her pocket, she remembered, as day turned into night. She spent hours moving it from palm to finger, back to palm, back to finger. As the afternoon sun crept in through the cracks, she had mastered moving it from her thumb to her index finger.

After she finished her next session screaming and begging at the door until her voice went hoarse, she began moving it between all five fingers. 

At first, the other girl tried to speak to her, to beg her to listen, to tell her that Sakura wasn’t the monster she thought she was. Sakura ignored her. Memories of the girl’s whispers, of the park, of her parents, of her aunt ran through her mind. She used them to make bricks, stacking them in the great stretch of space between her and the other girl. The wall grew higher and higher and eventually Sakura could barely hear her muffled shouts.

Eventually, the other girl stopped and Sakura continued her practice with the coin.

Once she had mastered it with her dominant hand, she started practicing with her other one. 

As the second night began, she tried the trick with her toes. It was harder than either of her hands, she found, but not impossible. 

Sleeping wasn’t an option. If she were an enemy, she would wait until the captive was asleep to attack. In this case, the enemy was inside her mind, and was always waiting. It was easier than expected to stay awake. With her head leaned against a wall, she closed her eyes half way and let part but not all of her mind switch off as time passed. 

It wasn’t restful, but it was enough. 

When the door finally opened, it wasn’t her Aunt Kagami. 

It was one of the porcelain masks. She couldn’t see which one in the low light. 

The figure approached her slowly, hands extended. 

I mean no harm, their movements said. 

I might, hers answered as she cowered in the corner, digging her bandaged hands into her armpits. 

The figure crouched in front of her. Sakura was suddenly glad she couldn’t see their face. They were probably disgusted by the smell. 

A gloved hand reached for her face and she tried to surge backward, away from them, away from their hand and what it would do to her—

Two fingers poked her forehead. They then patted the top of her hair.

“Hello, Blossom.”  

It was Rat. 

She broke. 

He lifted her and she found herself cradled in his arms. She tried to control her breathing, to observe her surroundings, to ask him where they were going, to ask where her aunt was. 

Instead she continued shaking and crying like the disgusting little animal she was. 

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “I’m taking you back home.”

They made their way through the apartment. A figure slumped at the table. It looked up as they entered. It was Aunt Kagami. 

Sakura tried to say something, anything, but found her throat was locked up. Her aunt avoided her gaze, instead staring down at the table. Empty bottles littered the counters around her and a half-full jug of some clear liquid sat in front of her. Her clothes hadn’t changed since she had dropped Sakura off at the park.

Not meeting her eyes, Kagami downed the rest of the jug in one swift gulp, lurched to her feet, and stumbled to the bathroom. Sakura heard the lock click. 

That was the last time Haruno Sakura would see her aunt. 

Rat squeezed her against his chest before leaping through the open kitchen window.

“My daddy said not to talk to you.” 

The blonde girl had her feet planted shoulder-width apart, arms crossed over her chest. It was the girl from the training ground, from what felt like years ago during her stakeout. 

“You should listen to him. Leave me alone.”

Sakura started to walk away. It had been a month since the park, since the bedroom, and since Rat had delivered her to her father, who waited in their front yard. 

Neither of her parents had yet to acknowledge the incident. Her mother had barely spoken to her at all. Their only exchanges were halting questions and answers that never lasted more than a few words. 

Her father hadn’t been home since he had taken her from Rat, given her a bath, and tucked her into bed. He had given her a kiss on the forehead and then disappeared from her life.

A ghost named Sakura had taken control, and she floated slowly after it, watching from behind as it went through the motions for her.

“Well, that makes me want to talk to you more. You should be happy that I’m trying in the first place,” the blonde girl said, ignoring Sakura’s silence. She stuck out her hand to Sakura. “I’m Ino. What’s your name?”

Sakura hadn’t seen Naruto in the last month. Before, she had never fully understood why he’d walked away after the grocery store, when she offered to be his friend.

Now she did. 

“Stay away from me.” 

Sakura heard the girl splutter but continued on. Apparently, not even the glade behind the library was a safe place to be alone. Time to find another refuge.

“H-hey, wait!” The blonde girl — Ino — was chasing after her. She grabbed Sakura’s wrist to keep her in place. 

Sakura froze. 

“I know what I could do, you don’t need to tell me this time,” Sakura whispered to herself. She received no answer. The other girl hadn’t said anything since Sakura built the mental wall during her time in the bedroom.

This is where everything snaps, Sakura thought. This is where Ino realizes that she isn’t dealing with a new person to befriend. This is where she realizes that she’s provoking a monster. 

Monsters don’t get to have friends.

“Why are your arms all bandaged up? Are you hurt?” 

Monsters don’t get to have friends. 

“Leave me alone!” Sakura snarled. She yanked her hand out of Ino’s grasp and ran in the opposite direction. 

Monsters don’t get to have friends. 

Chapter Text

Her mother had been acting strange, but that itself was no surprise. If anyone else’s husband had a health scare which cut their trip short by several weeks and then returned home to find that their daughter had put two (technically three) girls in the hospital, it would make sense that that person would behave erratically. 

It was just odd that it was the unflappable Haruno Mebuki. Sakura barely even saw her mother, who seemed to have thrown herself into business. There was food in the refrigerator for her, pre-packaged and frozen meals that she knew her mother usually despised. There weren’t any shortages of household supplies. The doors and windows were locked routinely. 

Mebuki was providing for her, just not caring for her. 

Her father was still nowhere to be seen. 

Sakura, who had never been allowed to wander freely during the day without explicit permission, was now left to her own devices. Her last days with Kagami had made her feel like she was a flight-risk. Now, she had more freedom than ever, but had no desire to explore. On the rare occasions she left her room, she made her way to library, checking out eight to ten books at a time. The subject didn’t matter, just as long as she hadn’t read them yet. If it was nice enough, she’d hide behind the library for fresh air for an hour or two, before returning to her house and holing up in her room again. 

Up until today, she’d been able to avoid human contact for nearly two weeks. The only exception had been a brief glimpse of her mother, who she had seen entering her study and then promptly closing the door. 

The exchange with Ino was both unexpected and unwelcome, and jarred something painful inside of her when anything reminded her of Sarei.

Her fingertips brushed the silk flower still tucked in the band of her sunhat. The hat had been left on her bedroom windowsill a few nights after her return to the house. She suspected it had been Rat, since the person’s arrival hadn’t woken her. One day, she would face Sarei and let the girl tear her apart piece by piece for betraying her trust. 

But Sakura was a coward, and that day would not be today. 

Entering her front door, she came face to face with Mebuki, who was sitting at the kitchen table.  

She stared at her mother. Her mother stared back, a shadow crossing her face over an anguished grimace before she was able to return her expression to her signature neutral mask. 

Oh. That explained a great deal. Her mother was afraid of her. 

“Momma,” Sakura said, hesitant. 

“Sakura,” said Mebuki, awkwardly. “How was your day?”

“Unremarkable,” Sakura said. 

“Good to hear,” said Mebuki. 

What a lovely conversation. 

“Would you like to play a game of chess, Momma?”

From the outside, it might seem like Sakura had asked her mother to swallow a knife. 

“It has been quite awhile, hasn’t it?”

“Yes, Momma.”

Sakura retrieved the board from the hall closet and returned. It was odd — the last time they had played was before she went to stay with Kagami. How long ago had that been?

She had been about to start setting up the black pieces on her side of the board. Her mother’s fingers took the black queen from her hand and placed it on her own side. 

“Not this time, Sakura.” 

They resumed the set-up in silence. Chess matches with her mother were never just games; they were conversations, and this one in particular was long overdue. 

Sakura took the first move and the game began. 

It was like she had never played Mebuki before. Her actions were quick. There was no pausing between turns, instead making their moves on instinct. Some of the strategies were familiar, others were not. The first game ended. They reset the board and started another. They played two more games like this without change. 

When they set the board for the fourth match, the air changed. As they started playing, Sakura knew this would be their last match. 

Mebuki was losing. 

“Is Dad coming home?”

Sakura placed her piece. Click. 

“Yes.”

Click.

“Do you know when?”

Click. 

“No, but soon.”

Click. Click.

“Is he gone because of me?”

Click.

“Yes.”

Click.

“Check, Momma.”

Click.

“I see it, Sakura.”

Click. Click.

Her mother avoided it. 

Click. Click. 

And again. 

Click. 

“Check, Momma,” Sakura said. 

Mebuki brought her hands up as if to sweep the pieces off the board, but caught herself at the last second. Instead, she buried her face in them.  

“I haven’t been a good mother, have I?”

“You’re the only one I have,” Sakura pointed out. 

“Can you do your mother one last favor?”

Sakura tried not to choke as anxiety exploded in her chest. She wasn’t at the park. Sarei wasn’t by her side. This was her mother. She had to swallow several times to suppress the bile. 

“What is it, Momma?”

“In the future, please… Please try to remember that your mother tried her best.”

“Okay, Momma.”

She tried the woods behind the academy, but that proved less successful as a hiding place. Now that summer was over and the academy was due to resume any day now, groups of kids dotted the training field. 

The park was her next thought, but she brushed that aside. She doubted she’d willingly go back at any point in the near future.

She settled on the bank of the river that ran through the village. It was nice enough, although there were a few too many mosquitos for her liking. She even found a large rock at the water’s edge. On top of it were several natural hollows that were perfectly tiny-human-shaped. She crammed herself in one of them and cracked open her book. 

This one was about caring for messenger birds. It wasn’t particularly interesting, but it kept her mind occupied. She lost several hours reading, although she didn’t retain much of the information. It was poorly written, anyway, but it was something. 

“Hello, Sakura.”

Was nowhere in the village safe? She twisted and glared at the newcomer. He looked familiar, but she couldn’t place him at that moment. Dark hair and pronounced bags and lines under his eyes.

It was the boy who had been with Shisui that day when she had stalked Naruto for the first time. 

“You’re… Itachi, right? You were with Shisui in the park.”

“Yes.”

“What do you want?”

“At this moment? Not to be alone.”

“Why don’t you go hang out with Shisui or something and leave me alone?”

“Shisui’s… gone.”

His expression was raw, and something about his body language was both untethered and rigid at the same time. She was reminded of her mother the day before. 

“Hmph.” She returned to her book. “Fine, you can stay. Just don’t ask to be my friend or anything,” she grumbled. “Too much of that going on recently.”

“Your generosity is appreciated.” He folded himself into one of the hollows in the rock and stayed true to his word and didn’t try to talk to her. Periodically, her eyes left the text to glance at him. He seemed content to stare at the river and the slivers of buildings visible beyond the trees. 

“It’s getting late. Shouldn’t you head home soon?” 

“Nah,” she responded, turning another page. “My parents don’t really care anymore. They let me stay out as late as I want now.”

“Ah, that must be nice to have freedom.”

“Nope!” She popped her lips on the ‘p’. “It sucks. Just like everything else in my life.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

She was glad the conversation had stalled out. She made it most of the way through the book, and by the time she looked up, eyes straining to read the text, the sun had started to set. 

“May I ask you a question, Sakura?”

It was too dark to read anyways. She shut her book and sighed, exasperated. There was no escaping other other humans anywhere in the village. 

“Fine. What is it?”

“What is your understanding of duty?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She couldn’t see him from where she was sitting, and didn’t bother turning. If she did, the moment would shatter and they’d both retreat.

If he was asking questions like that to her of all people, it meant he had nowhere else to go. Might as well humor him.

“If you had to make a choice between keeping a promise or serving your duty, which would you choose?”  

She thought about her mother, a woman so determined not to let anyone in that she never betrayed her true motives, so afraid of lettering in her own family that she couldn’t properly say goodbye to her daughter without hiding behind a board game.

She thought about her father, who viewed the world in moving pieces, who based his world around promises never being broken, even if they endangered his family. 

She thought about Sarei and Ami, and how well the Haruno family promises had worked out for both of them.

“People break promises all the time. They don’t mean anything.”

Sakura had never expected a storybook reunion for her parents. They weren’t the type of people to run to each other, embrace, and then pull her into a big family hug. 

However, she did expect her father to return for longer than just a few hours. He had to come back home for good at some point, right?

Instead, he snuck in late one night. Sakura would have never known he was there, if she hadn’t needed a glass of water before bed. 

He sat at the table, no lights on and hands clasped in front of him in prayer. A single sheet of paper rested on the table in front of him.

“Papa… What’s going on? Where have you been?”

She took a step back as his shoulders shuddered. 

“Papa?”

He looked up. Light from the moon outside played in his watery eyes. Had she ever seen him cry before? Despite the tears, he wore no expression, face dead like a mask. 

“I’ll answer your questions, but not tonight. Go back to bed.”

“Okay. Goodnight, Papa.”

“Goodnight, Sakura.”

After she made her way back up the stairs, glass of water forgotten, she heard the front door close. When she reached her bedroom, she watched through the window as the gate to their yard swung back and forth, as if it was waving Kizashi off as he vanished again into the night.

The next morning, the librarians were talking about the massacre. 

“I’m telling you, it was the entire clan!”

“But that’s impossible! How could they all be butchered in one night? Some of the best shinobi in the village are- were Uchiha, not to mention the entire police force! There’s no way!”

“I heard whoever it was even got all the children, too. There was one survivor, just a little boy. He—”

Sakura coughed loudly, interrupting the older woman staffing the desk. “I’d like to check out these books, please.”

“Oh, sorry dear! Let me get that for you.”

Both women looked guilty at having been caught gossiping.  She pushed her finished stack of books across the counter and stuffed the new ones into her satchel.  

As she walked away, the women resumed in hushed tones. 

For a moment, her feet took her to the rock by the river. 

Their entire clan. Dead.

Shisui, helping her with the coin trick. Dead. 

Itachi, so obviously broken by his cousin’s death. Dead.

All those little Uchiha kids at the park. Dead.

Sakura walked home in a daze. It shouldn’t surprise her, at this point. If she existed, a monster born in the village, untrained…

What was it, that had Danzo-sama asked?

“How could an eight-year-old civilian girl manage to mutilate two of her shinobi-born peers?”

It shouldn’t surprise her that this was full of monsters capable of murdering an entire clan overnight, if it could produce her with no effort. 

She opened the front door of the house. 

Bad things happened in the kitchen, she noticed numbly. 

Was it the act of walking through the door that brought the world out of alignment, or were there just places that naturally drew negative energy to them? If so, this kitchen was one of them, along with the park.

An envelope rested on the table, sealed with the red Haruno circle. 

‘Sakura’ was written on the front of it in neat script from an elegant hand, trained from years of business. A stack of bills peaked out from under it. 

She didn’t need to read it to know what it said. Her and her mother’s last chess match had been a goodbye. 

She left both the letter and the money on the table. 

There was food in the fridge, packaged for the next week and neatly labeled. The entire kitchen had been cleaned top to bottom, and everything smelled faintly of bleach. 

Their chessboard was gone from the cabinet.  

Her father had returned for one night in the last month, and told her to wait. That was fine. 

She had been alone for a month, knowing the other girl who shared her head was capable of doing horrible things to others. That was fine. 

She had let Naruto be tortured by a girl so obviously tormented by her own demons. That was fine. 

Her mother said goodbye to her over a game of chess, and that was both unsurprising and fine.

But then she’d taken the fucking chessboard. 

She’d given it to Sakura as a birthday present. 

Sakura destroyed the kitchen. Or at least, as much as a wimpy eight-year-old could thoroughly wreck a room. No dishes, no jars, no decorations were safe. Only the chairs and table were unharmed, as they’d been too heavy to move in her burst of rage.

Once she could finally breathe without wanting to scream, she moved on to her mother’s study. As she had suspected, everything that could have said ‘Haruno Mebuki bases her life out of this room’ was gone. Papers, files, scrolls, books, all of it had been removed. 

It must have taken quite some time to accomplish, Sakura thought. In fact, it would have taken about a month.

Mebuki was thorough. 

Mebuki always thought things through. 

Mebuki had known, Mebuki had planned, and Mebuki had acted. 

She left every window and door in the house open that night, begging for someone to take advantage of the wreckage, to enter the house and finish destroying the last remnants of the Haruno family that Sakura herself was too cowardly to end.

To her disappointment, she woke up the next morning. 

She ignored the mess downstairs, opting to clamber over it when she left the house. She watched with satisfaction as mold grew on the food in the fridge. 

It was fine. Sakura was patient. She liked sleeping with a breeze anyway.

Chapter Text

She woke to a hand on her shoulder and an obnoxiously high-pitched voice that gave her an immediate headache. They were saying words, but her sleepy brain refused to process them. 

A bright orange blur was on her bed. 

“…Didn’t know if you were dead or alive or what but then…”

Sakura just blinked at the boy.

“Why are you here?”

“…And then the windows were open downstairs and what if someone decided to break in and come into your room while you were sleeping — but not like me! And there was nobody downstairs so—”

“Naruto!”

“You’re awake!” He was practically vibrating from the energy he had.

“Naruto, what are you doing in my room?”

“Well, as I was saying, I hadn’t seen you in a while and didn’t know if you were dead or alive and then I was watching your house last night and saw all your windows and doors were open and what if someone decided to come in? So I watched to make sure nobody did but then you didn’t wake up so—”

“Wait, wait. Wait.” She was half temped to just throw a pillow at him to get him to shut up. “You… watched my house last night? What do you mean? And how do you know where I live?”

“I followed you before! I mean, you know where I hang out, so it’s only fair that I figure out where you hang out! And then I got curious when I didn’t see you after… y’know.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, and then I was worried because the doors were open and stuff and what if someone came in and it didn’t look like anyone was home to protect you so I decided to stay up to make sure you were safe—”

“You stayed… the entire night?”

“Uh… yeah? C’mon Sakura, I’ve said that like five times now!”

He’d watched the house. 

For the entire night. 

To make sure that she was safe. 

Naruto had watched her bedroom, to make sure that—

“You idiot!” She lashed out an arm and knocked the lamp to the floor where it smashed. 

“W-whoa, Sakura, what-”

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” 

With him guarding the house, no scavengers had dared to enter. He was the reason Sakura kept waking up each morning.

There was a pool of poison beneath her skin, slick and eager. It had always been there, before her mother left. Before Ami and Kasumi. Before Sarei. Before Naruto. Before she had met the girl. She would be lying if she hadn’t felt it before. 

Tapping into felt so good, like an itch finally being scratched. 

“No one asked you to do that! Besides, why would a monster care about someone else’s safety.”

“O-oy, Sakura…” She didn’t need to look up to see the hurt on his face. Her hands twisted in the quilt. 

“Who gave you the right to care about me!? You don’t even know me! We’re not friends!”

Burning felt so good. She felt alive for the first time since Aunt Kagami’s bedroom. 

“I never gave you permission to care about me! No one asked you to do that!”

But being alive meant that she could feel things she had been fighting off. She was on the edge of a cliff, overlooking a great pit of terror, and the earth beneath her was crumbling. 

She scrambled for purchase. 

“It’s not like we’re friends! I hurt you! I let other people hurt you too! That was my fault, so why are you here, pretending to care about me? Are you stupid or something?! Who gave you the right to care about me, when…”

She was falling.

“When not even…”

Ever closer to that black pit and it would swallow her whole. She would drown, and there wouldn’t be Haruno Sakura anymore. There would just be a burnt out shell.

“Not even my own— Mmmrph!”

Naruto had flung his arms around her, cutting her off. 

“Let’s go get ramen together, Sakura.”

To her horror, she was crying into his orange jacket, getting tears and snot all over his shoulder. 

“Not in the mood to eat,” she mumbled.

“We gotta! Ramen makes everything better. Sometimes, the Old Man takes me when he visits, which is my favorite. And also the store owner and his daughter are really nice, even to me! Ramen makes everything better, y’know?”

Her traitorous stomach grumbled. She hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning, and the thought of taking one of her mother’s meals from the fridge downstairs just brought up memories she wanted to avoid. 

But monsters didn’t get to have friends. She shouldn’t lead him on.

“Sakura?”

She frowned as she thought, wiping at her eyes. Even monsters still needed to eat. What would one meal hurt?   

“Fine, just leave me alone for a few minutes so I can change.”

“You got it! Ramen, ramen, we get to have ramen!” 

Naruto vaulted out the window, and she could still hear his cheering from the ground below.

After pulling on a sweatshirt over her clothes from the night before, she made her way downstairs. She envied Naruto, who had the energy and agility to clamber down the side of her house. As she passed through the wreckage of the kitchen, she stuffed her mother’s letter and the stack of money in her pocket. 

Naruto continued his chant of “ramen, ramen, we’re getting ramen!” their entire walk. He didn’t seem to mind her grumpy silence and didn’t bring attention to the way she wiped at her eyes every few minutes. 

The stall was not what she had expected. It was just a simple storefront with a handful of stools behind a half-curtain. 

“Hey, Old Man Teuchi!”

“Idiot! Don’t offend him!” She said, smacking him on the back. 

“But he doesn’t care!” he whined.

“Ah, Naruto! Come on in, it’s a beautiful day for ramen. Oh? Who’s this?” He smiled down at Sakura and it was more genuine than any she’d seen recently beside Naruto’s.

“This is Sakura! She’s sad right now so I told her we should get ramen because ramen fixes everything!”

“It does indeed! Hello, Sakura-chan. What would you like to have?”

“I… don’t know? I don’t think I’ve ever had ramen before.”

The gasp Naruto created could have sucked in the entire village. 

“WHAT?! You’ve never had ramen?! Oh, Sakura, I’m so sorry! Old man, get two bowls of the best stuff!”

“Just one, please. Naruto can have the second bowl.”

“Sure thing.” Teuchi ducked back into the back with a wink and she and Naruto slid onto the stools. 

“Ramen, ramen, I love ramen, hehe.”

What was it like to love something so much you’d drag someone from their bed all the way across town just for an excuse to have it? This had better be amazing. To be honest, food didn’t mean much to Sakura. Sure, some things tasted better than others, but at the end of the day, it was fuel.

Teuchi slid two bowls across the counter to the kids. 

“Just to warn you, Sakura: Naruto is my best customer. He often downs three to four bowls per visit. It can be quite disturbing if you’re not ready.” 

Yeah, that would certainly be a shock. 

“Thank you, Teuchi-san.” 

The man returned to the kitchen and Sakura turned to the ramen. It was pretty good. It was hot, just what her cold body wanted. It didn’t seem to be the same religious experience it was for Naruto, but she wouldn’t complain. She rolled up the sleeves of her sweatshirt to avoid spilling broth on them.

“Isn’t this the best? I told ramen is… Hey, what happened to your hands? Didja get hurt?”

Her father had removed the strips of sheet to wash her hands after Rat had returned her to her parent’s house. The morning after, she had stumbled out of bed, haunted by the feeling of blood on her fingers, and raided the hall bathroom’s medical kit. The roll of bandages worked just as well as the sheets had, although the white fabric stained easily, and she had to change them out every other day. After the first week, a large supply of rolls had appeared in the bathroom cabinet. 

She’d have to buy her own bandages now. Sakura swallowed the painful knot. 

It would be so easy to lie to him, to redirect the conversation, but this was Naruto. He’s stood guard over her house, just to make sure she wasn’t in danger while she slept. She should be grateful, she supposed, even if she was mad about it. 

“I did something bad. No—” she cut him off so he couldn’t object. “I mean it. And it wasn’t the thing with the pen. It was something else. I hurt two people. When I look at my hands, I…”

She flexed her fingers. How could something so soft and fleshy cause so much damage?

“I didn’t want to look at them anymore. That’s weird, right?”

Naruto took in a massive slurp of noodles and then tipped the remainder of his bowl directly into his mouth.

“Hey, Old Man Teuchi! Got another?”

“Sure do.” Teuchi appeared with another steaming bowl of ramen. Did he already make another one, knowing this would happen? He slid it across the counter and Naruto started devouring it. 

“Not weird at all,” he said between bites. “That’s why I don’t have any mirrors. Took ‘em all down. I kept getting stuck, trying to look for the reason that everybody hates me. Other than these,” he confessed, pointing to his whisker marks, “couldn’t find anything, so I had to take ‘em down so it’d stop bothering me, y’know? Besides, it worked out because I was able to use them for pranks! It was great!”  He resumed inhaling his ramen. 

He… understood? If it had been anyone else, she might not have believed them. Anyone else, and they might have teased her behind her back for something so childish. Naruto wasn’t mocking her. 

“Naruto, I…”

She wanted to apologize for that morning. And for the park. And for the mean things she always seemed to say to him. But what good would it do him for her to apologize? It would only make her feel better, and that was only if he accepted it. Besides, hadn’t her father told her that apologies were promises to change? When you apologized to someone, you made an unspoken promise to never hurt them like that again. She couldn’t trust herself to do that. 

“I think… I’m a monster, Naruto.” 

“Nah. You’re not. I would know.” He just kept slurping his ramen, not looking at her. 

“No, I’m serious. My mom and dad left because of me. I…”

She was back at the cliffside. One step forward, and there would be no going back.

When she spoke, her voice trembled. 

“I hear things sometimes, in my head.”

“Me too.”

“I’m not joking,” she warned. “I’m really not.”

“Neither am I.”

In the evening light, his eyes looked like the midday sky, glimmering with an almost unnatural light. They weren’t actually glowing, were they?

He swallowed nervously. 

“I’ve never told anyone, but sometimes I hear things. It sounds like an animal or something. You won’t tell, right?” 

Anyone choosing to enter the ramen stand would see two children with terrified expressions, searching each other’s eyes for the truth. 

Naruto got it, he understood. She didn’t want to tell him about the other Sakura, about the things she used to whisper. That was too much. Maybe someday, though, she’d tell him about her. They could trade secrets about the things that made them monsters, and it might feel like they had control. But she wanted to know if he heard violent whispers too, or if he’d ever done what she’d done.

Instead, she asked a question. 

“You feel lonely all the time, right? Even though there’s something else in your head?”

He was petrified beside her. That was it. That was the step too far. 

“Y-yeah. I do.”

All the tension left her body in one large burst, like the whole world had just exhaled out and used her body to do it. 

“Naruto, have you ever heard of the White-Nosed Grain Snake?”

“Ew, no! Snakes creep me out. They’re gross, like worms.” He made a face. 

“Snakes are cool and they’re not even slimy! Ugh, whatever. Anyways, the White-Nosed Grain Snake can survive being cut in half—”

“Whoa , really?” 

“I’m trying to tell you something important!” She punched him in the arm. How was he a worse audience than Tanuki? “So this snake can survive being cut in half, but only if it sleeps a lot afterwards and if it eats other snakes for food.”

“Oh, that’s… huh.”

He wasn’t as taken aback as she expected. 

“That’s actually pretty cool! I mean, it’s gross it has to eat other snakes because snakes are still creepy and weird, even if they aren’t slimy.”

“You don’t think it’s scary that they have to eat other snakes to survive?”

“Nah. I mean, it’s not like they have a choice, y’know?”

“They could just choose not to. Is it worth surviving, if they have to eat other snakes?”

He squinted. “Why wouldn’t they, though? You can’t blame a snake for wanting to survive, especially if the only other option is to die!”

Naruto was almost done with his latest bowl of ramen, she noticed with horror. Where the hell did it all go? Did he have a second stomach, or a drain so that it just fell out onto the ground? There was no way a person their size could eat so much!

“I think we’re both White-Nosed Grain Snakes, Naruto. We put other snakes in danger. That’s why we shouldn’t let ourselves get close to people. What if they get too close and we end up eating them someday?”

“What was it like,” she had asked, “in the kiln?”

“That’s stupid.”

“Huh?”

“That’s stupid! I mean, yeah, it might be dangerous for other snakes— I mean people, to get close, but… What if we promise to watch each other, y’know? Like, I’ll promise to make sure that you don’t eat me because I’ll know you’re one of those snakes and then you can promise do the same!”

“Why would you do that for me? I’m not… What if I hurt you?”

He gave her a grin so bright she just blinked back at him, stunned. 

“Not if we watch out for each other! White-Nosed Whatever Snakes have to stick together. And besides, isn’t that what friends do?”

“We’re friends?”

“Is that… okay? If we are?”

It shouldn’t be possible, not for her, not after what happened with Sarei. Sakura didn’t deserve friends, she wasn’t safe for them. Sure, she was in control now, but what happened in the future? What if the other girl got through the wall and took over? She’d just end up hurting anyone she let close. Even if she didn’t hurt them, the village might. True, right now not many knew, but it was only a matter of time. Like Danzo-sama said, not many civilian girls were capable of maiming their shinobi-born peers. She’d poison anyone nearby. 

But this was Naruto. What had he said, that night in the park?

“It would make them hate you too, y’know? If we were friends. If you were nice to me. It wouldn’t be fair. They might keep on hating you even afterwards, and then we’d both be monsters to them.”

Little too late for that, wasn’t it?

“I’m still not sure it’s a good idea, but I’d like to try. Friends?” She held out her pinkie, mimicking what Sarei had done what felt like years ago.

“Friends!” They clasped fingers and shook their hands. “Old Man Teuchi,” Naruto yelled, “I finally have a friend!”

“What was that, Naruto?” Teuchi wandered back to the front of the store.

“I have a friend now! It’s Sakura!”

“Ah, that calls for a celebration! Ramen is on me tonight, you two. And yes, Naruto, I’ll get you another bowl.”

Naruto cheered and Sakura decided Teuchi was the best adult in the village. Somehow the blond boy was able to eat one final more bowl. Sakura didn’t have the room, and opted to steal a few bites from one of Naruto’s before he was able to inhale it. 

He loved her animal facts, she discovered, and asked for more stories about the “White-Nosed Whatever Snake,” as he called it. She didn’t know much else, but resolved to research it next time she went to the library. 

It was dark outside by the time they finished at Teuchi’s, and Sakura found herself lingering at the stall, rather than going home. 

Naruto glanced at her with concern. “Something wrong?”

He was her friend now. Friends told each other when they were scared, even if it was of something silly, like the silence that filled the house. Since Naruto had woken her up, she’d felt alive and present in a way that she hand’t in weeks. The thought of returning to that made her shiver. 

“I don’t want to go home. It’s too quiet.”

“Hmm… Wait! What if you stayed with me? I don’t have a house or anything, and I’d have to move Kaeru-kun, he’s my frog— and oh man, please don’t make fun of me for having stuffed animals - and we could put blankets on the floor and—”

“Like a sleepover?”

“Yeah! Like a… What’sa sleepover?”

“It’s something that friends do. You sleep at your friend’s house for a few nights and tell ghost stories and stuff. It’s fun, I guess.”

“That sounds like fun! Sorry in advance if I’m not really good at it. I don’t exactly have a lot of practice having friends.”

“No worries, I don’t either.”

“What about that girl from the park? Not the mean one, the one with the—” he gestured at his arms. 

“That was Sarei. She’s… I’m not her friend.” 

“Oh, well let’s head over to my place! You can meet Kaeru-kun!” 

He didn’t ask about Sarei again and Sakura was grateful. 

They arrived to his apartment after a few minutes of walking. The building was alarmingly close to Teuchi-san’s store, and his apartment was not at all what she expected. The walls were mostly bare, with plants jammed into corners and on window sills. It was (sort of) clean, but his sink and stack of plates were disgusting. Stuffed animals covered his bed, and he quickly introduced her to Kaeru-kun, a stuffed toad. His apartment was the opposite of Sakura’s parent’s house and she loved it.

Except for the calendars, that is. There were 5 of them on one wall, each with a different scantily-clad woman. 

“Ew, why do you have those?” 

He just laughed. 

“They were free! I found them by the dumpster of the convenience store. I like the colors.”

Her mother would have skinned Sakura alive if she had brought home anything she had found by a dumpster, let alone dirty calendars. 

“You don’t have any parents, do you?”

“Nope! Just me ’n Kaeru-kun!” 

“I wonder which is worse?” she mused, “Never having a family, or having them and then losing them?” 

“Why does one have to be worse? They both suck. Either way you’ve got no parents.”

“Good point.” 

Unlike Sarei, Naruto didn’t have any books to read through. They pulled some of the blankets off his bed and made a pile on the floor. Like Sarei, Naruto was an excellent albeit strange storyteller, and Sakura drifted to sleep listening to how he had tricked a Jonin into putting boot polish in his shampoo. 

“C’mon, it’s not that bad!”

“No, Naruto. I don’t want to.” She leaned all of her weight backwards, trying to free her hand from his. 

“Sa-ku-ra-chan, please? You trust me! If we see those girls again, we’ll just fight ‘em off, since there are two of us now!” 

“Ugh, fine! But only for a little while.”

She let Naruto drag her into the park. It was still early in the day, a little too overcast for any families with kids. There was an old woman on the far edge of the park with a bag of crumbs, but she was facing away from them. No Ami or friends in sight. 

“There’s a really good tree over here! We should climb it!”

Naruto ran over and immediately tried to run up it. He fell back on the grass, laughing. 

It was the tree where she had met Shisui. Konoha was too small. 

“I met a shinobi here one time.”

“Oh yeah? I bet he was old and mean. All the shinobi I’ve met are super mean, especially the ones who chase me around the village.”

“Not this one. His name was Shisui and he was actually really nice. He gave me some really good advice. Actually,” she paused, “I’ve met a few shinobi, and most of them have been pretty young. Not like us, but not like adults, either.”

He scrunched his eyebrows together but didn’t interrupt. 

“There’s Tanuki,” she counted on her fingers. “There’s Rat. Then there’s Shisui, and I’m pretty sure Itachi was one too. Then there was that guy who brought you into my aunt’s store, but I never actually learned his name.”

“But he was the worst, so he doesn’t count.”

She hummed in acknowledgement.  “Yeah, you’re right. I guess you could count my dad, too.”

“Wait, really?!” He looked so excited. “Your dad’s a shinobi?!”

“Used to be. Apparently he got really sick and had to stop, but I think he might have been re-enlisted.”

“Ahhh, that’s so cool! I don’t know anything about my parents, and nobody who’s willing to talk to me can tell me anything. Not even the Old Man knows who they were. Hey, by the way, you never actually said why you’re alone. What happened to your mom and dad?”

Sakura fiddled with the cord to her sunhat. “My mom left about… a week ago? I’m not sure why and I don’t care. It won’t change the fact she’s not coming back. She left me a letter, but I don’t want to read it. As for my dad… I think he’s involved in something bad. I don’t think he’s coming home either.”

It felt strange saying it out loud. Up until that point, it was still dreamlike, like a story about a different Sakura and different parents named Kizashi and Mebuki. 

“That sucks.”

“Yeah.”

“Did he teach you anything cool?”

“Who?”

“Your dad! You said he used to be a ninja. Did he teach you any cool tricks? None of the adults ever teach me anything when I ask, because they think I’ll just use it for pranks. I mean, they’re not wrong though, y’know?”

She hummed again, and her fingers brushed over her pocket and froze.

She could show him the coin trick but the last time she had…

The coin glinting in the darkness as it spun over her fingers.

Silence and the smell of her own filth.

A thin film of nausea danced within her as she traced its hard edge through the fabric of her pocket. 

Too soon, she decided. The coin would stay in her pocket forever. Or, at least until she could think about it without wanting to destroy something.

“He was teaching me to walk up trees like a shinobi,” she said instead. 

“What?! That’s so cool! Like sideways?” He flopped on his back and put his feet against the tree, miming walking up it.

“Yep. I was supposed to keep it a secret, but I don’t think it really matters anymore.”

He was bouncing in his skin again. “Ne, Sakura, do you think you could teach me? Think of all the pranks I could pull like that!” He got a far-off look in his eye. “I could climb up those stupid Hokage’s faces and paint all over them! I could sneak into Iruka’s office! I could stop using my front door and just use the window, like a real ninja!”

Sakura would like to see him do those things, she decided. 

“I’m not very good at it,” she warned. “The last time I tried, I fell. Also, I don’t think I’d made a very good teacher.”

“I’ll catch you if you fall! But you won’t! I believe in you, Sakura!”

“I’m here if you fall,” her father had said. 

“Not that I would catch you,” he had also said. 

She lifted one foot to the bark of the tree. Inside her, the invisible thread of energy flickered and Sakura called to it. It wavered, and in her mind’s eye she pictured it coating her feet. 

It was so hard to tell if it was working or not. She put weight on her leg and lifted up. It stuck. She kept her eyes closed and brought her other foot up. Now that she knew what to look for, knew about the chakra points Shisui had told her about, it was much easier. It was still difficult; her muscles still strained against gravity, and she was shaking by her fourth step. The flame of chakra she drew on had weakened. It wasn’t going out, but it had gotten smaller. 

Something touched her face and her eyes shot open, startled. 

Green. 

She was surrounded by green. Below her, Naruto was cheering. 

“You’re amazing, Sakura! I knew you could do it!”

She was right under the canopy of the tree, easily ten feet off the ground. With shaky legs, she rotated so that she was facing down towards him. 

A large wave of lightheadedness struck her. 

“Watch out!” she yelled as the force binding her feet to the tree gave out.

She landed on top of him in a heap and felt a snap. He didn’t move beneath her. 

“Naruto!” she yelled, shaking him. 

She’d killed him. She’d only had a friend for less than a day but she’d already killed him! 

He cracked open an eye and grinned at her, holding up a broken stick in one hand. 

“Gotcha!” 

“Augh, you’re the worst!” She smacked him on the shoulder and hauled him up.

The dizziness was still there, along with an echo of her momentary terror, and she opted to sit down again before taking another tumble. 

“Time to teach me! How’d you do it?” 

Naruto was doing handstands against the tree, trying to get his feet to stick. 

“I’ll try, but don’t expect anything. So my dad told me we have this thing called chakra…”

She tried her best to explain but couldn’t quite remember the words Shisui or her father has used. Naruto also kept interjecting, asking questions and getting distracted with his attempts. 

Eventually, he tired himself out and flopped on the ground next to her.

Just a month ago, they had laid side-by-side just like this, but hadn’t been friends yet. How strange. 

“Man, I just can’t get it! What if I never get it? And then I won’t be able to be a ninja!”

“You’ll get it,” she replied, suddenly certain. “You’re the great Uzumaki Naruto, the best prankster in Konoha. Just give it some time.”

“But you got it so fast, Sakura! You’re gonna be an amazing shinobi. Wait! We should be rivals! And then we can play against each other all the time!”

“First, I’ve been practicing for much longer than you, so of course I’m better. Second, I had actual people to teach me, while you’ve just got me. Third, you’re gonna have to find someone else to be your rival because I’m not gonna be a shinobi.”

“Wait, why not?! Shinobi are awesome! Not the mean ones, obviously, but the ones you mentioned, a few I’ve met, the Hokage… Being strong enough for people to acknowledge. That’s my goal, to be the strongest shinobi in the village so no one can ignore me!”

Sakura chewed it over. It would be nice, to be strong, to serve something bigger than herself and be part of a community.

“I already promised my dad I wouldn’t become one.”

“That’s dumb. You should do what you want. If we both become ninja, it’ll give us a reason to keep being friends! And besides, your dad sounds like he sucks.”

With astonishment, she realized she didn’t immediately disagree. 

Her father had played with her, taught her things, kissed her forehead.

He had also left her alone in an empty house.

Did her dad suck?

Naruto mumbled something. 

“What’d you say?”

“I said I’d miss you.”

“Huh?”

His back was to her, and he was fiddling with grass in his hand. 

“We wouldn’t have as much time to hang out. You’ll make new friends and forget about me.”

Without a doubt, the last few days with Naruto had given her back a bright point of joy. If she became a ninja, she’d have a chance to stay near him for longer.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Really!?”

“It’s not a yes,” she said, laughing. Nothing she could say would dampen his spirits.

Becoming a shinobi would mean being around people. All the time. Kids her age. They’d want to be friends with her, and Sakura didn’t know if she wanted to subject herself (and them) to that. 

There was also the question of the other girl. Would Sakura learn how to control the other girl if she acted out? Or would the training bring the other girl closer to the surface, endangering her peers. 

She didn’t have to make her decision now. In fact, she knew next to nothing about the academy or even the process to become a ninja. 

Both her parents would be disappointed; her mother for wasting the experience she had gained since shadowing her and Aunt Kagami, and her father, for breaking her promise. 

The letter from her mother was still in her pocket. She tried to focus on playing with Naruto and the beautiful day, but it burned a whole in her pocket. 

Finally, as she and Naruto were catching their breath after tree climbing (the normal way), she couldn’t take it any more. 

“What’s this thing?” he asked as she shoved the letter at him. 

“It’s from my mom.”

“Oh.” He turned it over in its hands, poking at the wax seal, embossed with the Haruno circle.

“Can you read it for me? Every time I try, I chicken out.”

Naruto didn’t say anything for a few seconds and she looked over. His cheeks were pink with embarrassment and he laughed, awkward. 

“Heheh, sorry Sakura-chan. I’m not really good at reading,” he said, scratching the back of his head. “I taught myself, ‘cuz I annoy all the teachers, y’know? I can do simple stuff, like lists and picture books and stuff but… I have problems. With books. Sorry.” He handed the envelope back to her. “Guess you better find a smarter person to be friends with!” The joke fell flat between them. 

This is another one, Sakura thought, another moment where I can’t go back. 

In theory, she could keep her distance from him, which could, in theory, keep him safe from her. They could keep being friends, while she stayed at a distance. It would be the responsible thing to do, after all. Weren’t you supposed to protect friends, even if that meant keeping your distance from them?

But then… he got it. He knew what it was like, to have something weird and… unnatural inside you. He might be the only one who would ever understand. 

“I’ll teach you,” she decided.

“Wh-what?! Really?!”

“Too loud, idiot!” She swatted at him.

“Hehe, sorry. But you’re serious? You’ll really teach me to read?”

“Yeah, but you gotta do something for me in return.” She took the letter from the counter and pocketed it. “Once I teach you, you have to tell me what this letter says.”

“You got it! And that’s an Uzumaki promise!” He held out his hand in her direction, waiting for her to shake on it.

The familiar lurch in her stomach followed with that word, but she fought it down. If Sakura’s life were defined by promises — and she suspected it was — then this was the start of a new chapter. 

“Yeah,” she said, taking his hand. “It’s an Uzumaki promise.”

Chapter Text

She continued to sleep on the floor of Naruto’s apartment. They used a few bills from her mother’s parting gift to buy takeout and instant ramen. Her sleepovers with Sarei had usually lasted only a few nights at a time, but that was mainly because Aunt Kagami had wanted her help some mornings unloading new shipments. Now there were no adults to tell her to come home. 

On the fourth night, he asked her in a quiet voice if she wanted to leave. 

“I’d understand,” he said. “The last few days have been great, but I get it if you’re done with me.”

She reached up to his bed and felt around for his hand. When she found it, she held it fiercely. 

“Do you want me to leave, Naruto?”

“Please don’t.”

“Then I won’t.”

She could have sworn she heard sniffling from the bed, before soft snores filled the silence. Naruto seemed to have a way of taking over all of her sense. When he was around, she was surrounded by bright orange, the smell of ramen, and the flurry of noise he created. 

If he wasn’t going to kick her out, then she didn’t plan on leaving.

Eventually, though, the clothes she’d been wearing for a week straight were too disgusting to ignore. She made her way across the village to her parent’s house, with Naruto trailing behind. 

Sakura hadn’t closed the doors or windows after leaving the first time. It’d been nearly a week, and a few small animals had pilfered the cabinets. Aside from small drifts of leaves and a few muddy paw prints, it wasn’t a complete mess. 

Seeing her childhood home covered in leaves should bother her. It didn’t. Actually, she quite liked letting the outdoors reclaim it. 

She found an empty duffle bag in a closet and Naruto followed her around the house holding it open as she tossed in items.

There were a few bits of dried food in the kitchen that haven’t been torn into, as well as a small bag of sweets she found hidden in the back of one cabinet.

She also threw in the clothes she liked enough to carry, which wasn’t many. Most of her closet was reserved for fancy merchant events anyways, and it wasn’t like she was going to any more of those. 

She also tossed in the rest of the bandages and medical supplies from the hall bathroom. 

She even found the stuffed beetle her mother had given her so long ago and decided to add it to the bag last minute. 

She already knew there was nothing of importance left in either of her parents’ studies. 

When the entire house had been raided, they turn off every light and unplugged the appliances, just like her parents had taught her to do before their trips. 

They stopped at the corner store for more instant ramen, with Naruto waiting outside while Sakura checked out. They walked home talking about the best flavors of Teuchi’s signature dish, Sakura listening to Naruto ramble rather than contributing. 

Two of the Masks were waiting outside Naruto’s apartment. Based on Naruto’s lack of reaction, she assumed he must have had his own encounters with them in the past. She didn’t recognize either of the shadowy figures. 

“Uzumaki Naruto and Haruno Sakura. The Hokage requests your presence.”

Naruto snorted. “Can we at least put down our groceries and Sakura’s stuff?”

“Groceries yes, bag no.”

It had been too good to last. 

“Hey, Sakura-chan, don’t look so sad! We’ll just tell the Old Man that we’re friends and it’ll all get sorted out!”

“Sure.” If he noticed her expression of resignation, he didn’t say anything. 

The two Masks whisked them away in a familiar swirl of leaves. When the two kids opened their eyes, they were in an unfamiliar room. Scrolls and tomes lined every surface and the only free wall space was the large row of windows along one side of the room. A heavy desk dominated the space. Moreover, a thick haze of smoke blanketed the room and its occupants. 

“Oy, Old Man! It’s late! Couldn’t you have just brought us here in the morning?” Naruto’s voice was loud and out of place in the small space.

A man stepped out of the shadows behind one fall cabinet. He had a Hitai-ate on his forehead, but no mask.

“Be respectful to your Hokage, brat,” he hissed. “Thinking Lord Third would change his schedule for you is laughable.”

“Enough, Ebisu,” said a voice from behind the massive desk. 

The Hokage was nothing like she had expected. First, he was so old! Her mother had told her the Third Hokage was a legendary shinobi, and was strong enough to defend his title at any time, but she hadn’t expected him to look like this! He had a tired scowl and large bags under his eyes. A tobacco pipe hung from his lip, and he eyed both children.

“Haruno Sakura.”

She nodded hesitantly.  Was she supposed to salute? Or bow? Why couldn’t she remember her mother’s etiquette lessons when it mattered? She saluted at him, awkwardly, wincing as she used too much force to bring her hand up and whacked herself in the forehead. She glanced to Naruto, who was slouching to her left, hands jammed in his pockets. 

“At ease,” the Hokage said, chuckling. “That’s only necessary for shinobi. Now Miss Haruno, I hear you’ve been on quite the adventure this past week.”

“We’re friends now, Old Man!” Whatever panic Sakura felt concerning decorum and etiquette was not shared at all by Naruto. “Sakura and I have been hanging out and it’s been great! She’s been teaching me how to tree— Ouch!“

She slammed her foot down on his, and thankfully, he got the message.

“My apologies, Lord Hokage Sir, I lost my balance.” 

“Anyways! Like I said, we’ve been hanging out and she’s been helping me read and—”

Sakura heard something that sounded suspiciously like “monster brat” from the corner and glared in its direction. 

“Enough, Naruto. I’m well aware of how you’ve been spending your time, and I must admit, I’m glad you’ve found a friend.”

For a moment, Sakura hoped that was it. It was a check-in, a casual nighttime hello-goodbye. 

“However, I do have several concerns. Miss Haruno, you’ve neglected to return home for several nights in a row. It’s not wise to wander the village at night, as much as it pains me to say so. I’ve also become aware that you’ve both taken up toying with—”

“Harassing!” interjected a voice from the shadows, before it was cut off with a thump and a quiet “Shut up!”

“…Harassing the shinobi enforcing the curfew. The rules are there for a reason, children. They are to ensure your safety. What would have happened, if we had learned of a threat to your safety, Miss Haruno, and then were unable to protect you because you weren’t where you were supposed to be?”

She looked away.

“And Naruto? If I recall correctly, you and I have had this conversation several times in the past. Don’t make me repeat myself once again. Do you both understand?”

“Yes, Hokage-sama,” Sakura said, looking down.

“But Jiji… what if she just stayed at my apartment?”

A glance up revealed Naruto biting the corner of one lip and fidgeting, clearly anxious. 

“If you know where she is, then you wouldn’t have to worry about not being able to find her!” Naruto looked to her for encouragement. Sakura nodded back. “Sakura wants to live with me! She doesn’t want to stay in that old house all alone.”

The Hokage leaned back in his chair and let out a long plume of smoke. 

“I’m afraid it’s not that simple, Naruto. I can’t allow a minor of the village to live outside of her parents’ home.”

Naruto stepped forward, angry now. “Why not?! She’s all alone in that house! Neither of her parents live there anymore and they left her behind! She shouldn’t have to be on her own, especially if she doesn’t have a choice about it!” Tears glistened in the corners of his eyes and Sakura knew he wasn’t just referring to her. 

“Calm down, Naruto. I expected more maturity from you in this matter. Sakura, I trust you’ll understand why I can’t let you live with Naruto. You are an unsupervised child. Despite your parents’ temporary absence—”

“My apologies, Lord Hokage.” Was that her interrupting the leader of their village? “But both of my parents are no longer present. Naruto is correct; I have been living on my own. Naruto lives on his own with no parental supervision. How would this situation be different?”

The shinobi in the shadows took in a breath. Sakura wanted to sink into the floor and never come out again.

“Naruto’s case is unfortunately not a special one. As there are no remaining living members of his family, Naruto is an orphan in the eyes of the village, and is thus responsible for his wellbeing after aging out of the village orphanage. According to our records, both of your parents are alive, and your father is still present in the village. As he still resides at the Haruno house—”

“Does not!” Muttered Naruto.

The Hokage frowned at the boy. 

“Your home is with your legal guardians. Such is the duty of shinobi in the village, I’m afraid. Our jobs often keep us from spending meaningful time at home in order to protect our way of life. It is a sacrifice we all make for those we love.”

Duty of shinobi. That caught her attention.

“Lord Hokage…. Was my father reinstated?” 

She felt Naruto’s hand close around her and give her a reassuring squeeze. 

The Hokage looked pointedly at their hands, and Sakura released her grasp. 

“I’m afraid that’s classified.”

“So you’re just gonna make Sakura live on her own just because her lame dad isn’t dead?” 

“Watch your mouth, monster brat!”

“Clear the room.”

“Lord Hokage, Sir, I—”

“Clear the room,” the Hokage repeated. “The only person left other than myself in three seconds should be Miss Haruno.”

In a breath, Sakura and the Hokage were alone. One of the Masks must have whisked away Naruto.

In the lamplight, he looked ancient. Moreover, he looked weary. 

“For what it’s worth, Sakura, I am truly sorry for the predicament you face. Please understand, we have rules in place for a reason.”

The numbness was returning. If she went outside, she’d float off into the great sky like a balloon, never to return. 

“I have one other matter to discuss with you, Sakura.”

He knew about the other girl. Danzo-sama had told him, and he was going to lock her up because she was a monster. Her dad wasn’t around to protect her anymore and—

“I would urge you to reconsider your association with Naruto.”

That… was not what she had been expecting. 

“Excuse me, sir?”

He took another long drag from the pipe.  The smoke took the shape of tiny monkeys, dancing across his desk. 

“I’ll be blunt, since you’re a smart girl. You have very little to gain from continuing your ‘friendship’ with him. He’s had a lonely time of it, unfortunately. I wouldn’t want him to be hurt when you inevitably leave him behind.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Lord Hokage. Naruto and I are friends; we’ve promised to lookout for each other.”

The Third Hokage looked at her, and for the first time, Sakura understood why Sarutobi Hiruzen was still called the ‘God of Shinobi’ even in his old age. He pinned her in place. 

“Naruto would not benefit from a friend who will run when confronted with the ugly truth of his existence. His life is not easy.”

“I’m well aware, and have witnessed his treatment first hand.” She tacked on a hasty “Sir” at the end. 

“Then are you prepared to be treated as he is? As much as I would like to say the citizens of Konoha are welcoming and accepting of difference, they are not. They’ve seen too much bloodshed and hardship in the last generation alone. Remaining his friend will bring his treatment down on you as well. Are you truly prepared to be treated as he is? I would encourage you to end this fancy of yours before either of you has to experience the lasting repercussions.”

“I’ve made up my mind, Lord Hokage. I’m well aware of the consequences.”

“Then let me be blunt, Sakura. Naruto as much of a kind soul he is, is dangerous. The village knows it, the shinobi know it, and he knows it. There is a good chance that staying close to him would put you in danger. It’s unfair for the village to call him a monster brat. Unfortunately, there is just enough truth to the moniker that I haven’t been able to squash it out.”

“I’m dangerous too, Lord Hokage. Naruto is aware of this. That’s why we’re friends. We can trust each other because of that.”

“My girl,” he said, chuckling. “You are untrained civilian, and a child at that. I’ve met kittens more dangerous than you.”

How could she show this man that she as serious? He was so focused on protecting her from Naruto’s danger that he didn’t realize she too was a monster. Had Danzo-sama not told him about the park?

There had to be a way to convince him that she knew what she was talking about. She tried to remember what it had been like, when the other girl was in control. Could she tap into that cold focus without jeopardizing the wall?

No, that was stupid and would accomplish nothing! At best, she’d make a scene. At worst, she’d put herself on the map as a threat, and would be caged. 

He’s right, she thought to herself. You’re just a child, a civilian at that—

She couldn’t change the fact that she was a child. She could change something else, though. 

“Lord Third, what’s the legal age of adulthood in Konoha?”

Surprised, he raised an eyebrow. “Eighteen for civilians.”

“But what about for shinobi?”

He studied her. This time, his gaze was curious. “Genin are considered legal adults in the eyes of Konoha,” he answered, slowly.

“And how old does one need to be to become a Genin?”

“Well, well. Becoming a Genin takes more than just a desire to flaunt the village rules. You would be promising your life for the village. It takes years of training. First, enrollment into the academy before testing into Genin, only followed by a lifetime of continued learning. It’s not a commitment to be taken lightly, Sakura. Becoming a shinobi requires dedication to even reach Genin, let alone higher levels. Many have made the ultimate sacrifice before they were able to accomplish even that.”

She was reminded of Shisui, the curly-haired, kind-eyed boy from the park. 

“I wish I could tell you that you can trust your teammates. I wish I could tell you that you can trust the shinobi around the village or its leaders.”

“How do I apply?” she asked, her mind made up.

What seemed like years ago, she had told the other Sakura she would get stronger to protect both of them. Since it turned out the other girl didn’t need Sakura’s help, she would have to do it on her own.

“I’ll tell me assistant to prepare an application and send it to your house.”

She bowed. “Thank you, Lord Third. Your time and wisdom is appreciated. 

“You’re welcome Sakura. I do hope you consider my words in the future.”

Before she can turn to leave, she was born away in another flurry of leaves and deposited in the downstairs of her parent’s house. 

Tomorrow, she decided, as she crawled into her cold, dirty bed, she would begin planning. 

The next morning, she found a blank application to the academy on her kitchen table, as well as a packet of money in an envelope labeled with the words ‘Konoha Monthly Orphan Stipend.’

Neither of her parents returned to the house, and besides Sakura, it remained empty. Sakura herself returned only at night to sleep in her bedroom. She and Naruto spent several weeks testing the boundaries (and the Hokage’s patience) about how long they could spend together before one of the Masks appeared in his window to escort her home. As far as they could tell, she could spend up to one night away from her legal residence. There didn’t seem to be any restrictions about what she could do during the day. 

Every time a Mask arrived at Naruto’s apartment to drag her home, she felt a small rush of hope, but was always disappointed. Neither Tanuki nor Rat had been seen in months, and very few of the ones who arrived to enforce the overnight rule were ever the same. 

Naruto taught her how to budget her new income and in return she taught him what she could remember from her mother’s cooking, which wasn’t much. If she skipped a few meals, she was able to set aside a small amount for books. It was worth it, even if her stomach grumbled in her sleep. 

She kept good on her promise and started the long process of teaching him to read. They started with picture books Sakura brought back from the library. Teaching Naruto was hard, she found. His attention wandered more often than not, and he got frustrated easily. He was smart, though, and retained information about the oddest things. 

“Hey, Sakura-chan! Didja know there’s a frog in Taki that makes you see things if you lick it?”

She looked up from her own book. “Uh, really?” 

“Yeah! They use it for hallu- hm. Hallucino… urgh!”

“Hallucinations?” 

“Yeah, that! They use it to make people see things that aren’t there, because it’s supposed to be poisonous in little amounts, so they coat their ninja tools in the slime and…”

She just smiled as he rambled on. He still struggled with larger words, and also didn’t seem to be able to read aloud from scrolls without spending a lot of time sounding out each word. 

It wasn’t all fun times and bonding, though. There were times she caught herself mid-snark at him, yelling at him for annoying her. Her temper was shorter than it had been before, and sometimes even the smallest things set her off. She tried making a list of things that made her angry so she could avoid them. However, it quickly became impossible to keep it up, with reasons ranging from Naruto chewing too loudly to thinking about maps which reminds me of my dad to a girl at the bookstore threw a tantrum about not being held by her mom and it made me want to kick her in the face. When she added ceramic cups and anything made of clay, she gave up. 

There was another challenge as well. It started off slow, but soon became a regular part of Sakura’s life. The villagers had started to hate her too. Naruto’s mysterious pariah bubbled had slowly grown to include her. Neither of them noticed until Sakura decided to join Naruto at the laundromat. 

“Out, brat! You’re not welcome here!” yelled the attendant. 

“I wasn’t even in the building this time! Mean old hag!” Naruto yelled back from the doorway. 

“Wasn’t talking to you, although you’re not welcome here either!” The attendant turned back to Sakura. “I’m not taking your money, now scram!”

“But—”

“Out!”

Sakura gathered up the change she had set on the counter and left, grabbing Naruto by the sleeve and dragging him. The fabric in her hand jerked, and she looked back to see him standing still, looking at the ground. 

“Why did she do that to you?” he mumbled. “Was it because of me?”

“We don’t know that. Maybe she thought I was someone else!” 

But she knew. The truth was that she had noticed it before in the odd glances thrown her way, or in the silence she received when asking the librarians to help her find a book. 

It had started when she was seen around town with Naruto, and continued to increase. She’d become Monster Brat #2, certainly not as hated as Naruto was, but not much better. At least she could still go into most convenience stores without being kicked out. 

To be honest, she didn’t even mind. They should be scared of her. It helped keep people away from her. 

She stayed as far as possible from the civilian sectors of the village, refusing to enter the neighborhood where Sarei and her Aunt Kagami lived at all costs. They hadn’t yet crossed paths and Sakura wanted to keep it like that. 

She spotted Kasumi, once. The girl hadn’t changed much since the park, aside from the eyepatch she now wore. When she glanced up and saw Sakura, she paled and bolted. 

Civilian children started avoiding Sakura, too. When she and Naruto meet at the park, or anywhere with civilians, parents sent them both sidelong glances and guided their kids away, as if they could become monsters by exposure. This was another thing Sakura doesn’t mind. 

The girl inside her hadn’t  made contact in months. Sometimes, Sakura could feel her, wisps of emotion, of pain and grief echoing from some deep corner of her mind. She didn’t dream often, but when did, she stood before a brick wall and the muffled howling beyond it. 

The isolation didn’t bother her, although it bothered Naruto. She caught him looking at her, guilty, a few nights, and promptly yelled at him. When he started to apologize, she smacked him. 

It was nice, to have someone she didn’t have to worry about hurting. Surely, whatever was inside him that made the village hate him could fight what was inside her.  

She was set to enroll in the academy with the start of the new year. She started a countdown of time until the Genin exams, where she would be able to leave the drafty house, the Haruno name, and the ghosts of her parents behind. 

“Hey, Forehead!”

Was it too much to want one afternoon to herself? She was supposed to start at the academy in two weeks, and as much as she enjoyed Naruto’s company, she needed alone time to recharge. It had taken her most of the afternoon to find the deserted glade in the outskirts of town. It would be such a shame to give it up now.

As the Academy start date approached, she felt a pit of dread growing in her stomach. She would be around other kids — an entire class of kids — for the next few years. Was this the right decision?  What if Naruto wasn’t around to stop her, if the other Sakura reappeared? What if she lost control of whatever was inside her, and ended up hurting more people? She could count on one hand the number of people she’d talked to for more than five minutes over the last six months, and still had two fingers leftover. 

“Stop hiding and face me!” 

How were other kids so loud?! It sounded like the blonde girl — Ino — who had pestered her to be friends. She seemed to be playing with her friends in the same area as Sakura’s reading spot.

She curled tighter behind her tree and resolved to ignore the blonde girl. 

“Don’t ignore me, Forehead! I see you behind that tree!”

Wait. Was Ino talking to her? And why was she calling Sakura ‘Forehead’? 

Whatever. If she ignored Ino, the other girl would lose interest and leave. 

A shadow fell over the pages of her book, and Sakura glared up at its source. 

“I’m talking to you, Forehead!”

“Why do you keep calling me that? I thought I told you to leave me alone!”

Ino stood in front of her, arms crossed and eyes ablaze.

“No way! No one ignores Yamanaka Ino! And you must have something wrong with your forehead if you’re always wearing that ridiculous hat. Do you think you’re better than me, or something? Or are you just afraid of being friends with someone prettier than you?”

Ino had no way to know that Sakura had faced down Ami and her cronies, Danzo-Sama, and now the Hokage himself. Some blonde kid with pretty eyes and pretty hair didn’t scare her. Ino tossed her said long hair over one shoulder and waited for Sakura’s response, clearly expecting Sakura to either grovel or fight her.  

Sakura did neither, standing up and walking away.

“Like I said, leave me alone.”

Sure, she’d found a rhythm with Naruto, and no longer feared she would kill him in the night. It made sense, that the only person she could feel safe around was the village’s known monster. 

But that didn’t change the fact that Ino was a normal kid. Friendships with normal kids weren’t possible for Sakura. She was still a threat to Ino. 

Or at least, she would be if she could move. Instead, her body was paralyzed. 

A thin black line of unnatural darkness pooled at her feet. The rest of her twitched in frustration as her eyes followed the line deeper into the trees.

A shape unfolded from behind the tree right in front of her. The boy with spiky black hair. Another boy followed, the one with the chips. He munched on them anxiously as he watched Sakura twitch, still frozen.

“Oy, don’t be rude to Ino. Only her friends get to do that.” The black-haired boy leveled her with a stare. His gaze was sharp and calculating. He could probably see right through her. “Are you her friend?” 

She felt his hold — however he was doing this — weaken slightly. Another waver and she could feel her muscles started to regain their agency, but she stayed in place.

She felt something hum through her. It was excitement. 

“What do you think?” Sakura asked him.

The world had shrunk down to just the two of them. Just this boy with a stained shirt and unruly hair, and her, a pale girl with bandaged arms and a comically large sunhat. 

“I think,” he began, “that Ino is very good at making friends. She’s always liked picking up strays. It’s troublesome.”

Sweat beaded his brow and Sakura felt a sick joy swell in her chest. 

Because this kid could freeze her in her tracks with whatever weird power he was using. He might not understand what she was, but he could at least see beneath the first layer.

He could stop her, if something started to slip.

She grinned, feral. 

He didn’t smile back, but a quirk of lips showed he registered the silent exchange.

“Sakura,” she said, spinning on her heel to face Ino, “My name is Sakura.” She held out her bandaged hand to mirror the blonde’s greeting from several months before.

Ino took her hand enthusiastically. 

“Nice to meet you, Sakura! What’s your favorite animal?”

Chapter Text

The academy was both exactly like Sakura had expected and nothing like it. To her surprise, there had been very few pre-requisites to enroll. There were no entrance exams, no essays, no recommendations. All you needed to do to enroll in the Shinobi Academy of Konohagakure was present the completed application to the registration, confirm your identity, pay a reasonable fee, and show up to class. 

Funnily enough, the hardest step for Sakura was the proof of identity. Since returning to live at her family’s house, she had avoided her parents’ studies as much as possible. Even though they had both removed all sensitive and personal information, there were a few crates of documents leftover. It took an entire afternoon for her to sort through them. To her annoyance, her father was never as organized as her mother. She was finally able to locate her birth certificate in a file folder that contained both the deed to the house and her father’s old prescription medication records. 

The next day, Naruto walked her to the front office. She was surprised to learn he’d been enrolled in the academy since he was seven. It was one of the easiest education tracks available to orphans. The thought disturbed her, although she wasn’t sure why. 

Getting the money had also been annoying. The entrance fee wasn’t much to most people, but to Sakura, it took a good chunk out of her month’s Orphan Stipend. She skipped meals for a few nights every week, and forwent buying any new books for the  month. 

To her supreme annoyance, it turned out it wasn’t necessary in the first place.

“Your entrance fee has been taken care of. Please provide your village-issued ID,” said the man at the front desk, sliding back her envelope.

“What do you mean?”

“Fee’s already been paid, kid.”

“Wait a second,” she rifled through the stack of papers she held beneath one arm. “I haven’t even turned in my application yet.”

The man just snorted. “Someone already completed your application. You don’t need to turn in anything else, besides providing proof of identity.”

What the hell? Was it the Hokage? But that wouldn’t make sense. Why would he have given her an application in the first place? Who else knew she would be applying? Part of it was curiosity, but a larger part was knowing who had done this. An unsolicited favor meant a future commitment. Haruno Family Rule #1.

“Can you tell me who turned in the paperwork?”

“Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, kid,” he said, eyes darting back to the magazine he had been reading before she and Naruto approached the desk. 

“Sorry, sir. I don’t want to make any trouble, I’d just like to know so I can thank them,” she lied. 

“Fine. Give me a second, I’ll see if anymore marked down a name.” He retreated into the back room behind the desk. 

“You’re so lucky, Sakura-chan, just like me! Jiji paid my entrance fees for me, but there are a  few kids who are like us who had to save up all month!”

“I had to anyways,” she grumbled. She thought of the meals she’d skipped, now in vain. “Would have been nice for whoever paid to tell me, so I didn’t waste all that time.”

The man returned. “No luck, kid. Just says ‘Administration.’ Now how about that ID?”

She slid her birth certificate across the counter and he stamped her application. 

“Alright, give this to your teacher. Class should be starting in…” He looked at his watch. “…Five minutes ago.”

“Ah! Iruka-sensei is gonna be so mad! C’mon, Sakura-chan!”

“Thank you!” she called as Naruto dragged her down the hallway. They ran up a flight of stairs and slid to a stop in front of a classroom in a deserted hallway. 

A pang of nervousness shot through her. This would be the most people, let alone the most kids, she had been around in a long time, maybe her entire life. 

“Cheer up, Sakura-chan! It’ll be okay. And besides,” Naruto was bouncing from foot to foot, “no one likes sitting next to me so there’s always a free seat! Even if they don’t like you, you’ll still have me! But that’s stupid because you’ll make plenty of friends!”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” she whispered, but Naruto didn’t hear her. Instead, he slammed open the door to the classroom and dragged her in. 

“Iruka-Sensei! I brought Sakura—”

“UZUMAKI NARUTO!” the man at the front of the class bellowed. “YOU’RE LATE! And you have the nerve to interrupt class like that? Go sit down!”

The man was standing in front of  a large blackboard, drawing what looked like a tree, with different parts labeled. Interesting, the labels were marking percentages. What did it mean? She was going to ask him when she turned and stopped still. 

Elevated rows of desks lined the back of the classroom. Each one of them had a student, and every one of them was staring at her. 

This had been a huge mistake. She turned to flee. 

“And who might you be?” Asked the brown-haired man. Iruka-sensei, that’s what Naruto called him. 

She tried to find her words, but her throat wouldn’t cooperate. When she opened her mouth, an embarrassing gurgle game out. She clapped her hand over it, mortified, and tipped her head so her sunhat — which she had forgotten to take off — was blocking her face. 

With a start, she felt him take the packet of papers from her. 

“Ah, you must be a new student! If I would have known you’d be starting today, I would have arranged for a better first-day buddy than Naruto. Alright, step up here and introduce yourself!”

She just stared at him, mortified. Nobody had said anything about introducing herself! She felt her cheeks turn scarlet, and heard whispers from the bank of students at her back. 

“Quiet!” Iruka barked. He turned back to her. “It can be pretty overwhelming, I guess. Would you like me to introduce you instead?” 

She nodded vigorously. 

“IRUKA-SENSEI! Let me introduce Sakura-chan!” That was Naruto, yelling from the back of the classroom. 

“You already did, idiot!” called another student. 

“QUIET! Is that okay with you, Sakura?”

She nodded again and Naruto began to ramble. 

“That’s Sakura-chan! She likes to read, she’s super smart and she’s my best friend!”

“And does Sakura-chan have a last name?” Iruka asked Naruto. 

Iruka had her entrance packet, he could just read it from the first page. But this gave her a unique opportunity, she realized. She made eye contact with Naruto and slowly shook her head. 

Even if someone had already filled out her application packet for her and set her on this track, they couldn’t control everything she did. 

“Nope! Just Sakura!”

For a brief moment, Iruka’s expression turned soft and he sent a small smile her way. 

“Class, please welcome Sakura and show her your best!”

There was a chorus of unenthusiastic “Welcome, Sakura”. 

She bowed at them, not trusting her speaking ability. 

“There are a few open seats,” Iruka said. She scanned the room, and sure enough, there was one right next to Naruto. “You don’t have to sit next to him,” whispered Iruka. 

Ah, so he was also one of those adults. Before she could stop herself, she glared at him. “I’d be happy to sit next to Naruto, Iruka-sensei.” she whispered back. He just looked at her, jaw hanging open as she fled. 

Naruto was vibrating with excitement, rambling without pause as she sat. She caught some of it. 

“…And that’s Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji. They’ve been friends forever. That’s Kiba, with the dog. He smells weird and kinda sucks, but he’s cool! And that’s…”

She tuned him out, and just sat for a moment. She had a great fondness for Naruto, but the boy’s energy level was always a bit hard to handle, especially when her nerves were already out of control. It felt like a giant electric sign was hanging over her head, pointing her out as an outsider. Kids kept turning to look at her and whispering to her friends. None of the faces were familiar. Except for three, she saw. 

Ino was sitting next to the boy with the snacks and the spiky-haired shadow kid from earlier. Shikamaru and Choji, her mind supplied. Apparently she had picked up a little form Naruto’s ramblings. They were seated a row down and away from her and Naruto. As if sensing Sakura’s gaze, Ino swiveled to stare at her. 

“I didn’t know you were enrolling, Sakura!” she whispered. “You should have told me!”

Sakura just shrugged at her. It wasn’t like she owed Ino anything. 

“We’ll talk at lunch!” Ino whispered. “I need to introduce you to the cool kids in class.”

“Attention! I’ve got your tests from last week. I have to say, I was pleased with them overall, but…”

Iruka-sensei traveled around the room passing back papers. When he got to Naruto, he glared down at the boy. 

“Naruto, you’ve failed this test automatically, since you decided you had other things more important than school!” 

Naruto laughed nervously and scratched at his hair. “Hehe, sorry, Iruka-sensei!”

Their teacher returned down to the front of the class and began reviewing the test questions. Sakura was grateful for the time to reflect and regather her wits. 

When lunch came around, Ino found her sitting outside with Naruto. In the rush of finding her birth certificate, she’d forgotten to bring anything at all for lunch, and even though Naruto didn’t have much, just an apple and some crackers, he split them with her without a second thought. 

“Forehead! Didn’t know you were gonna be shy! What, Naruto annoy you so much you forgot how to talk?”

“Hey!”

“Mah, Ino, we can’t all be as annoyingly social as you,” muttered Shikamaru, the black-haired boy. Since Ino and her two constant companions had cornered her for a second time, Sakura had seen the girl around the village more often. She still had yet to figure out how Shikamaru had stopped her from running, and was hesitant to ask him. If anyone had a chance at seeing below her surface, it was him. 

“Whatever. Sakura, come eat lunch with us. You don’t have to hang out with stick with him!” She tossed her hair, which seemed to be a frequent habit. “If you do, the teachers will probably start to hate you by association and the cool kids will never like you!”

The boy with the snacks spoke up. “Naruto’s not that bad, Ino.” The boy in question gave Choji a sunbeam smile. 

“I’ll pass. I have no interest in meeting anyone new.”

Hurt whipped across Ino’s face before she sneered. “Well then, if you want to be a social outcast without any friends, be my guest! Just don’t come crying to me when nobody wants to date you!”

“I have no interest in making more friends than necessary, let alone dating. You and Naruto are more than enough.”

“Oh…” Ino said, clearly flustered. Sakura had never admitted in their passing conversations that Ino was a friend. 

“If your only motivation is to parade me around as your interest project, think again. But if you still want to hang out other than one-on-one, it has to include Naruto.  I have no interest in making other friends.”

“You’re so weird, Sakura-chan!” Ino said. “What about a sleepover this weekend? Just you and me? And then I can tell you which boys are worth liking!”

“Girls are such a pain,” groaned Shikamaru. “All you do is fawn over boys. Let me guess, your list is gonna be ‘Sasuke, Sasuke, and more Sasuke’.”

“Sh-shut up, he might hear you!” hissed Ino, who was now furiously blushing. “And besides, you won’t ever have to worry about that list, since you’ll never be on it!”

“Guys, stop it!” Choji whined. Naruto was cackling, but was also trying to steal a chip from Choji’s bag. 

A sleepover. Would it be a good idea? Would it be anything like Sarei? Technically, she had sleepovers with Naruto all the time, but that was different. Naruto was like her, and was safe to be around. If Shikamaru wasn’t there, it would be just her Ino, and Sakura might run the risk of losing control. She didn’t feel the same affection for the blonde girl as she did Naruto, but she was fond of her. It might be nice. Besides, if she started to get worried or the headaches got too bad to handle, she could just ditch in the night and say she was sick.

“Fine, we’ll have a sleepover. Now everyone, leave us alone.”

“Alright, but don’t forget!” 

Ino and her shadows wandered off, and Sakura finally reclined back against the tree. 

“How much time is left in lunch break?” she asked Naruto, who only shrugged. 

“I dunno, but Iruka-Sensei usually rings the bell five minutes before class starts. You sure you don’t want to go with them?”

“Nah. There’s still a few pages left in this chapter.” 

“You don’t have to stay with me. I’d understand, y’know.”

“Hm?”

“Like, you don’t have to stay here with me. Now that you’ve met other kids, you can go hang out with them. The teachers might be nicer to you if you do.”

Naruto was usually so loud, and usually just brushed off mentions of his treatment with a loud laugh. On occasion, if it was just the two of them, he would become serious, almost melancholy.  

They normally only happened on the nights she spent on his apartment floor. It usually began with his laugh becoming bitter, or longer intervals of quiet. Sometimes, they lasted only a few minutes. The longest had been several hours. That had been the day Sakura was kicked out fo a shop while Naruto hid outside. According to the shopkeeper, who had seen her by Naruto’s side the week before, being a monster was contagious. When they’d returned to his apartment, he’d heater water and prepared their ramen in silence. If prodded, he might joke or smile, but not much more. 

Guiltily, Sakura liked those moods. While she didn’t like to see him sad, he was quieter during those periods, and something about him seemed more real, like a mask had slipped off. To her knowledge, no one else saw him during these times. Was it weird that it made her feel… proud? That she was the only one who got to see him like that? 

I’m a terrible friend, she thought, not for the first time. Seeing her only friend sad shouldn’t make her feel proud.

“…Sakura?” He poked her cheek.

“Hm?”

“So are you gonna?”

“Going to what?”

“Go make other friends.”

“Ah, sorry.  Like I told Ino, I have more than enough friends.”

“But you’ve only got me! Aren’t you lonely?”

“Nope. Like I said, getting close would be unnecessary. Besides, it’d just be dangerous to them.”

“Because they’re not White-Nosed Whatevers?” he asked, grinning. 

“Yeah,” she replied. ‘White-Nosed Whatevers’ had turned into an inside joke. They had started using it to refer to themselves when outside of his apartment.  “Are there… any others in this class?”

Naruto scratched his whiskered cheek. “Nah. I mean, Kiba and Shino are really weird, but that’s about it. Then there’s Sasuke, but he’s a bastard! And everyone likes him too much for him to like us, y’know?”

That was the second time someone had mentioned that name. “Who’s Sasuke?”

Naruto signed dramatically. “A bastard, that’s what he is!” Several kids looked in their direction at Naruto’s outburst. He just waved at them and they turned away. “Everyone’s so obsessed with him! I don’t get it. He’s all stuck up and popular ‘cuz he’s attractive or whatever. All the girls got crushes on him!” He turned to her in horror. “Oh no! We have to keep you away from him!”

“Why?”

“You’ll fall in love with him like all the other girls as soon as you see him!”

“I doubt that. Now please be quiet, I want to finish this chapter.”

Naruto kept on ranting. “You’re gonna see him and then you’ll fall in love with him and then you’ll leave and I’ll have to fight him for your love and he’s stupid but really good at Taijutsu and he’s gonna beat me because he’s a cheating bastard—”

She grabbed his face, hands on either side of his cheeks. Her face must have been doing something scary, based on his expression.

“Naruto.”

He gulped. 

“I just don’t want you to leave, y’know?”

“Naruto—”

“Shut up.”

“But Sakura—”

She squeezed his face harder, making his cheeks puff. 

“Shut. Up. I don’t care about Sasuke. I don’t want to meet Sasuke. I’m not going to stop being friends with you because of Sasuke. What I want, is to finish this chapter. Do you understand me?”

He nodded, frantic. 

“Good.” She released him and cracked open her book. 

For one beautiful moment, there was quiet.

Ding, ding, ding! 

“Come back in! Class starts in two minutes!” A different teacher from Iruka rang a bell by the building. He had white hair and a foul expression.

“Only two minutes?! Ah man, Mizuki-sensei must be in a bad mood already! Oh no, I gotta pee before class! Meet you in there, Sakura-chan!”

Grumbling, she walked back into the building, book in hand. She was quickly rethinking her plan of going through the academy to reach Genin, if it meant dealing with arguments about Sasuke every day.

When class started, the white-haired teacher was at the podium instead of Iruka-sensei.  

“What’s his name again?” she asked Naruto. 

“Mizuki-sensei. Blegh. He sucks.”

It was her first real lecture at the academy. Mizuki had drawn a map of the countries that bordered fire country on the chalkboard, and started listing their major imports and exports. The drawing itself was simplistic, and Sakura quickly became bored. She already knew most of this stuff from conversations with her parents. 

Is this what the entire academy was going to be like? Listening to the teachers go over basic information while they sat in silence? There’s no way she could survive two YEARS of this! Sakura groaned inwardly. She’d die of boredom. Were her classmates as bored as she was?

Naruto was busy digging his pencil into the desk. When she looked over his shoulder, she saw a clumsy doodle of the first Hokage as a frog. Shikamaru wasn’t even pretending to pay attention, instead snoring softly. Most others were paying attention, attentive to Mizuki-sensei’s ramblings. 

Well, she already knew all this stuff, so she might as well not waste her time. She cracked open her book under the edge of the desk. 

By the time they had reached mid-afternoon, she had finished her chapter and moved on to the next.

A pop quiz was announced and Sakura regretted her arrogance. When the test was passed out, many students groaned. Apparently it covered geography lessons from the previous week, and Naruto just thumped his head against the desk in despair.

What is the primary export of Quzou Lumber Village?

Which of these Hidden Villages are located to the north of Konohagakure? Circle two.

If one were to travel due east from the Land of Fire, which Country would one first encounter? 

What is the primary weather pattern in Amigakure, located in the Land of Rain?

Did she get a different quiz from everyone else? She looked around the class, but all the other students were focused on their tests, with Naruto and Shikamaru being the exceptions. The blond boy had given up and was quickly folding his paper into… some origami shape. She couldn’t tell what. Shikamaru had marked his answers and had returned to sleep. 

She marked her answers. There must be some trick to this she wasn’t getting.  This was too easy.

She flipped the page over a noticed a few additional questions on the back. These were more difficult, but nothing she couldn’t handle. 

How does the geography of Kumo alter its trade with its partners, and how might this impact the Textile-Weaver-Thread Treaty ratified by its Daimyo?

If one were to follow the Kurou Torvald Water way for three days and nights, which ports would you likely land in?

What is the common hazard of traveling along the Saki River by boat? 

She finished her answers. The last one was a trick question — the Saki River wasn’t actually a river in the common sense. It was actually an extended aquifer, meaning the water flowed beneath the surface of the earth. She supposed the common hazard would be stupidity. 

“Do you want me to help you?” she whispered to Naruto.  They’d been working on his reading abilities. Like he’d said, he could read labels, shop signs, and most basic words, but couldn’t handle much beyond primer books. He’d been improving, but still had a long way to go. She could easily see how the characters on this test would throw him off. 

“Nah, this stuff is useless. Besides, Mizuki-sensei is the worst so I don’t really care about impressing him.”

So far, Mizuki-sensei’s only real flaw as a teacher was covering material too basic to be interesting, and having a voice that easily morphed into droning. Was she missing something about him as well?

“Got it!” Naruto exclaimed, holding up a paper frog. 

“Uzumaki! Since you’ve finished your test so quickly, why don’t you share your answers with the rest of the class?”

“Ehehe… Well, ya see, the test was too easy! And now I can’t see my answers without destroying my new friend!” He held the frog aloft. 

“Well it’s a good thing you all had the same quiz.” Mizuki looked around the classroom and picked a student at random. “Hyuuga Hinata! Please read aloud the first question!”

The girl he had called on immediately started to stutter and turned an ugly shade of red.  She tried to stammer through the first words before Mizuki cut her off. 

“Is there someone else in this class who can read?” he asked, sarcastic. “You! Shidera Kisa!  Read the first question.”

“Hai!” The girl stood and began reading aloud. “What is the primary export of Quzou Lumber Village? I put—”

“No, no. I want Naruto to answer, since he has time to fool around.”

Sakura glanced at him. Naruto had the same forced smile he wore when they were kicked out of stores. 

“Err…” 

She tugged his sleeve behind the desk. 

“It’s in the name!” She hissed. 

“Uh…”

“Any day now, Uzumaki!”

She tapped her answer on the quiz and he finally lit up.

“Lumber!”

Mizuki-sensei looked surprised. “Shidera, the next one please.”

They continue like that, until all of the questions have been answered. Mizuki looked furious and Naruto laughed nervously, feeling the tension in the room. 

“I must say, I’m glad something has finally gotten through your thick skull, Uzumaki. Class, since you’re all so skilled, the homework will cover two chapters of your reading tonight!”

The entire class groaned in unison. “Damnit, Naruto!” a boy yelled from down in front, and she heard a few students echo him. 

Iruka-sensei entered the classroom and called them all outside. Kunai practice, she discovered. The late afternoons were usually spent practicing hands-on skills. How hard could throwing a piece of metal be?

They were asked to create two lines in front of the targets, and took turns aiming and throwing the kunai. It was very hard, Sakura learned, and she was awful at it.  When she went to throw her first kunai, it clattered to the ground a foot short of the target. The next two followed in similar suit. The fourth connected, but bounced off. 

“Er, good try, Sakura-chan! I’m sure you’ll get better with practice!” 

 She looked away, cheeks burning, and joined Naruto at the back of the line. There had to be kids as bad as she was, right?

Wrong. Every single one of them, even Naruto, landed at least one kunai on the target. A few even struck the center. Ino was one of them, landing one out of four. Another was a boy in a high collared jacket and glasses landed two. 

She snuck out of the line to lean against a tree. Iruka sent a glance her way but then shrugged. If he was going easy on her because she was new, she was going to take advantage of it. 

Her book was back in the classroom, so instead she settled for watching her new classmates. Naruto’s next turn came and went, with boisterous exclamations and mediocre aim. He wasn’t as bad she was, but he also wasn’t as good as Ino. 

A gasp came from the crowd of students. Someone had thrown a perfect four out of four. 

“You’re amazing, Sasuke-kun!” a girl called. 

The boy had spiky black hair and a stoney expression. He ignored several of the girls who tried to fawn over him, returning to the back of the line. When he turned, she saw a fan-like design on the back of his shirt. 

Uchiha. 

Sasuke was an Uchiha. 

Did he know Shisui and Itachi? She hadn’t known either boy well, but found herself missing both of them. Should she say something to him?  Was he living in the orphanage, or did he live alone, like her and Naruto? Did he know who had killed the Uchiha? Had he been there, at the massacre? Was he the one to find the bodies?

“What was it like,” she had asked, “inside the kiln?”

No, she shouldn’t talk to Sasuke. She might open her mouth at the wrong moment and ask him things he shouldn’t have to remember. It didn’t matter, she would get nothing from talking to the boy. 

She watched with interest, though, as other students tried to talk to him. He either ignored them completely or just grunted in return. When Iruka praised him, he just muttered a polite “Thank you, Sensei,” before returning to stony silence. 

Interesting. She’d keep an eye on him. 

Soon enough, the day was over, and she and Naruto left the academy side by side. There were books she’d need for her classes, and those hand’t been covered by her mysterious benefactor. She and Naruto stopped by the front desk again so she could take out a portion of her tuition money to cover them before heading back to Naruto’s house. 

She whipped through the homework as Naruto made their simple dinner favorite — packet curry and dried veggies. As much as he would like it, she didn’t let him eat ramen every night, only most nights. 

When the last question was completed, she shut her school book with a thud and pulled out her fun reading. This one was an analysis of geographical surveys within the village. It wasn’t as intersting as some of her other reads, but it was something to keep her busy. For some reason, the statistics and numbers calmed her down, lowering the ever-present hum of anxiety. 

“Food’s ready, Sakura-chan!” 

“Lemme finish this page.”

“Wait, you’re still reading?! C’mon, that’s too much! It’s not natural.”

“Is to.”

Nights like this made her nervous. They made her remember that she didn’t exist in a vacuum — that she needed other people to keep her grounded. There were times she stayed in her parents’ house days a time, secluding herself like a hermit. She could handle up to two days without talking to Naruto. If she stayed on her own too long, the thoughts in her head sped up, whirling around and escalating until she could barely breathe. At its worst, she heard the quiet whispers of the other Sakura. The words themselves were unintelligible, but she could hear the whisper of grief through the brick wall in her mind. Some nights, her dreams put her squarely in front of it, nose pressed to the brick. They were warm, and pulsed with a racing heartbeat. When she got close one night, she saw spiderweb cracks in the grout. 

It was only a matter of time, she realized one lonely night. One day, the other girl would find a way through. Sakura didn’t know if she would have to bust through with an explosion, or if all it would take was one loose brick. 

When she was by herself, she sometimes thought she heard scratching, like nails against stone. 

Naruto called her back to present. This wasn’t one of their sleepover nights; she would have to head home at some point. 

“Didya like your first day at the academy?” he asked her. 

“I don’t know. It was really boring.” 

“Right?! Mizuki-sensei and Iruka-sensei go on forever! When are we gonna learn actual ninja skills beside just throwing stuff at targets? We haven’t even done anything like the tree walking! It’s weird, it’s like they don’t want to actually teach us stuff!” 

It was odd. They had agreed to keep their tree walking practice to themselves. Naruto was able to get a few steps up before taking a break. Usually, she was able to scale the tree at least one, but she tired easily. Naruto was almost always able to take a few steps, but faced a much different problem than her. When he tried to do what she described — to increase or decrease the flow of chakra to the soles of his feet, small craters blew out of the tree’s bark. They’d had to flee one of the parks, chased by adults, when Naruto had accidentally blown a hole big enough to fell the tree. It flopped the opposite direction from where they had been, almost crushing a dozing Chunin. After that, they’d agreed to hide their practice. 

She had no idea why Naruto struggled so much with the exercise. She only knew limited theory — a combination of what her dad and Shisui had taught her. Once, she’d tried to get her hands on introductory chakra scrolls, but was stopped by the shinobi at the library desk. She had told Sakura that chakra control and other ninja scrolls were for Genin and above. She thought about sneaking past the shinobi using that trick she’d used on her dad years ago, but decided it wasn’t worth the effort. 

One day, Naruto would have a teacher to figure out why he had so many problems. It wasn’t like she was going to stick around after reaching Genin, and then it wouldn’t be Sakura’s concern anymore. She didn’t like thinking about that day, when he was put on a team with a Jonin-sensei. He would leave her behind, and would probably charm his way into the hearts of his future teammates. Where would that leave her? She didn’t often think beyond Genin; she just knew she had no idea to continue her ninja career. Genin was a means to an end. She hoped to figure it out, even if it took awhile. Maybe she’d leave the village and explore Fire Country, escaping the Haruno family name and the walls she’d lived in her entire life. 

Instead of voicing her thoughts, she just asked Naruto if he wanted help with his homework. 

“Nah, there’s no point in doing it. They’re just gonna fail me.”

“What do you mean?”

“The teachers always mark me down! I don’t think it matters if I get the answers right. It doesn’t really matter, it’s not like I do a ton of homework anyway, y’know?”

“That can’t be right.” 

Aren’t teachers supposed to treat everyone equally? Sakura had never had a teacher other than her parents. While the shinobi academy accepted anyone age seven or above who could apply and pay the admission fee, school for civilian kids wasn’t mandatory and even for those who could pay to attend, it usually began at 10, and focused on trading-specific topics and etiquette. Sakura didn’t know if her parents intended on enrolling her. Whatever, it didn’t matter. 

“Here, sit down. We can get through this quickly.”

Naruto grumbled but sat down. Forcing him to actually do the homework was like teaching him to read. When something interested him, he was able to focus for short periods, but quickly lost energy and focus. 

“Why do we have to learn all this useless stuff anyway? It’s not like we’re going to stop in the middle of a fight and be all ‘Where’s the Land of Slugs’ on a map!’ 

She took a deep breath to calm herself. “For one, there’s no such thing as the Land of Slugs.”

“Ugh, it was a joke!” 

“For another,” she continued, “what happens if you get kidnapped and then you escape and have to figure out where you are, but you were in hostile territory so you had to figure it out on your own? I imagine knowing geography would be quite handy in that case, as well as common trade routes so you could blend in with civilians.”

“Still! It’s not like…” he tilted his head and scratched a cheek. “Wait, that actually makes sense.” Naruto looked back down at the small map in their textbook, studying it anew. “Why didn’t anyway explain that?”

“Dunno, but want to give those questions another go?”

“Sure!” His renewed interest didn’t fix his short attention span. In fact, it made him more frustrated, since he was genuinely trying to focus on the material, but kept getting distracted. However, after another twenty minutes, he answered the last problem and asked Sakura to take a look. 

“They’re most right. Sorta.” His answers were roundabout and rambling and filled with little doodles, but most of them made some sense. There was still wrong information. She was pretty sure Sunagakure wasn’t in a jungle. 

They cleaned up from dinner and Sakura bid Naruto goodbye for the night. 

Her house was just as she left it that morning. She still had a habit of leaving the windows open, but Naruto had convinced her to keep the doors closed. Not that it would make a difference to anyone trying to get in; an open window was the same as a door. She guessed it was the principal, though. Muddy paw prints tracked across the counters, but most of them were old. Anything that could have attracted animals or rodents had long since been removed, and Sakura didn’t eat inside the building, instead choosing to either eat meals at Naruto’s or snack on things from the corner store while out and about. 

Piles of leaves collected in the corners, and a lone stem of grass grew up from the drain in the kitchen floor. She was disappointed — no animals had moved into the downstairs. She hoped at least mice or squirrels or something would have made nests, but no luck.  

A few weeks before, a cat had crawled through a window during the night to give birth on the living room rug. When she’d found it the next morning, the cat was dead,  having bled out with a kitten stuck halfway out of its birth canal. She’d buried it in the backyard beneath the tree. Something about the empty house repelled life of any sort. To her, it was just a place she’d used to live, and now was just a structure to sleep in that also happened to have running water and electricity when she remembered to switch the breaker back on. 

She flung her bag with her notebook and textbook into the open fridge, which had stayed unplugged and now served as a bookcase. As usual, she marched upstairs. Her old room was the only place where she routinely shut the windows — once again at Naruto’s insistence. He’d tried to convince her to get a plant, but she had a suspicion anything brought inside would suffer the same fate as the cat; it would die alone, without significance. 

Chapter Text

“Sakura-chan, what’s this thingy?” Naruto whispered, pointing at a character on his paper.

“That’s the symbol for division.”

“Wait, then what about this one?” He drew a slash next to it. 

“Same thing.”

He thunked his head against the desk and groaned. “Why do they have to have so many different things for the same things? It doesn’t make any sense!”

“Five minutes, and then I’m collecting the quizzes!” called Iruka-sensei. 

“Sakura-chan, you gotta help me! There’s an entire page I haven’t finished.”

“No talking!” Iruka yelled. “Yes, Yamanaka, I mean you!” Ino straightened from where she had been gossiping with another girl. 

“Okay, fine.” She leaned over and quickly pointed at the first blank problem on the page. “Try that one.”

“I already did!” 

“Try again, but this time remember that the two dots and the line are the same as the slash.”

He made it through another few problems before Iruka walked past their desks and held out his hand. 

“And what sort of Hokage artwork have you drawn today, Naruto? Buck teeth?”

Iruka grabbed Naruto’s paper, where he was still frantically writing. “Oy, I wasn’t done!”

Iruka frowned, turning the paper over. “There’s no drawing? Wait, did you do something to this paper?” He held it away from his body, already wincing. “Is it going to explode the moment I go to grade it?”

“Hey! I really tried this time!” 

Iruka just huffed and walked away. “Believe it when I see it!” he called over one shoulder. 

“Ugh, why do I even bother?” Naruto let his head fall to the desk with a dramatic thunk. 

She tried to console him, wincing in advance at the goose egg that would form on his forehead. As soon as the lectures began anew, Sakura pulled out her personal reading book and dug back into reading about cartography techniques. 

Ino approached her again at lunch, briefly this time, just to confirm their sleepover on Friday. While Sakura still disliked socializing, she was glad Ino had stopped by. To be honest, she’d completely forgotten. It wasn’t like she’d planned anything else, but once she returned home, her brain went fuzzy and she tended to forget details. She just guessed it was another weird quirk of the building where she slept. 

That afternoon was marked by another miserable physical skills section. This time, it was drills. Somehow, there was something Sakura hated more than kunai practice. They were made to run laps around the school yard and do sets of push-ups in rotations. To her utter embarrassment, she was even worse at this than aiming. The moment she removed her sunhat, which had become an essential part of her outfit, the sun starting burning at her skin. Her skin was already lightly toasted by the end of the first lap, and she felt dizzy and sick to her stomach. When she stopped to catch her breath, she found herself fighting back nausea. 

“Keep running! You’ve still got five more minutes before the groups switch!” Mizuki-sensei yelled from the edge of the field. 

Halfway through her next lap, tiny black dots speckled her vision on the edges and another wave of nausea washed over her.

I don’t think I’ve ever run this far before in my life, she thought and then promptly stumbled. Please don’t let this be the most embarrassing thing I’ve done! 

When she opened her eyes, she was facing up, and Mizuki-sensei’s face was hovering above hers. Had she fallen on the grass? Her mouth was gross, and tasted like vomit. Oh no, had she really just barfed and passed out in front of her entire class?

“Would someone like to escort Sakura to the nurse?” Mizuki asked the students crowding around her. 

“I will!” she heard Naruto call, but it wasn’t the boy who stepped forward. Instead, Iruka appeared, with the shy girl from before in tow. Sakura struggled to remember her name, but couldn’t. 

“Hinata can take her. She needs to visit the nurse and can be Sakura’s buddy,” said Iruka from somewhere above them.

Mizuki held out a hand to pull her up. To her continued mortification, as soon as she was vertical she stumbled again. Black dots still played the edges of her vision. A small clammy hand wrapped around one of hers, shaking.

“H-he-here, S-sakura-s-san,” Hinata stuttered, pulling Sakura’s arm over her shoulders. Sakura kept her gaze to the ground, feeling the stares of the other kids as she and Hinata passed. The girl didn’t say anything to her during their walk to the nurse, and seemed to be crumpling inward with every step. When they arrived, a brusk woman cleaning the countertops informed them that the nurse had already gone home for the day. 

“If it’s really that bad, go to the hospital!” she told the girls as they stood in the doorway. 

Hinata was biting her lip and fretting one of her hands around the drawstring to her jacket. “It’s okay,  I should be able to walk now without loosing my balance. You can let go now,” Sakura told her. 

The other girl flinched away from Sakura, as if burned. “S-sorry, Sakura-san! I di-d-didn’t mean to…” Her face was beet red. Was Sakura missing something?

The girl’s milky eyes suddenly sparked her to remember. Hinata must be a Hyuuga, the clan known for their pupil-less white eyes, which had special abilities. Fancy magic eyes, like Shisui, her mind supplied. She looked away at the sting of the memory. She needed to distract herself, draw away from that train of thought. 

Hinata stood, fussing with her jacket for another moment. 

She has less initiative than a tree, Sakura thought. Without the nurse telling them to return, she doubted the other girl would have even moved from the spot, paralyzed without instruction. 

“C’mon, let’s head back.”

Hinata sighed in relief and Sakura rolled her eyes. 

The two girls returned to the classroom as their classmates were filtering back in. Belatedly, Sakura realized that she did’t know why Hinata needed to go in the first place. She couldn’t have gotten so winded from a few laps of running that she vomited and passed out, like Sakura. 

Naruto peppered her with questions as soon as she left the academy. Had she gotten hurt? Was there something wrong with her? Was she gonna die and leave him alone forever? 

No, she wasn’t going to die, she had told him, she was just extraordinarily weak and out of shape from a youth spent indoors. At least since school was over, she could return her sunhat to its rightful position. 

She turned down his offer of food and company, as she still felt woozy and strange from the day’s events. He still walked her home, but he didn’t stay long when he got there. Something about the house made him uncomfortable, although he wouldn’t tell her what. When she had asked, he just frowned and said he didn’t know, it was just a gut feeling. 

The front yard wasn’t as bad as the house in whatever made him uncomfortable, so she made him sit down and try to do some of the homework as she worked on hers. This time the questions weren’t as hard as they were in class, and he was able to get some of them on his own. After they’d finished and he had departed with a wave, she crept up to the bedroom and collapsed on top of the blankets. 

It wasn’t a night to eat, she decided. Her stomach still sloshed from side to side, each movement feeding her nausea. She had the sneaky suspicion she would vomit up anything she tried to eat. 

Instead, she laid on her bed and let her mind wander.

As exhaustion lulled her to sleep, unease threaded its way through her sluggish thoughts. 

The cemetery is recognizable, but only barely. There are no more neat lines of grave stones, no carefully swept path for visitors to walk. The headstones are now cracked, pieces strewn about as if shattered by a great storm. 

Where Sakura-san’s headstone used to be was now a set of stairs into the earth. Light came from below, faint and sickly. 

“Maggot…” 

Sakura gasps and scrambles back a few feet. Other snippets of sound follow, disjointed. 

“Can’t even…A little…pathetic…”

It isn’t getting louder, she notices.

 “If you want to insult me, why don’t you come up here and say it to my face?” she calls down to the voice. An odd sensation traces its way around her ankles. She looks down, expecting a light breeze, but sees nothing. 

A harsh bark bounces off the stones around her and Sakura shrinks back. After a beat, the bark sounds again, repeating. After a moment, she realizes it was laughter, abrupt and staccato. Each syllable is followed by an odd gasping sound. 

The wall must be down there. She should go down and look at it, to see if her dreams of cracks in the mortar are real — or as real as anything could be in this place. The air playing around her ankles grows stronger. She feels the caress of hands around her calves, dragging against her skin leaving faint clammy trails. 

Go, the air seems to whisper. Answer your questions. 

“Such a… shame.” 

A horrible, gurgling sound follows the words.

Sakura locks her jaws, willing herself not to respond. Ignore her. She’s just trying to get a rise out of you.

Within the bones of her feet, a thrumming begins, beating in time with her heart. Each breath feels like potential, like a chance for her to just take a step. She could move. She could go to the other Sakura. She could check the bricks for herself, she could know for sure that she’s safe, that the other girl is locked away

“Shame…” bounces off the stones around her again. “Such… a…”

Sakura’s mouth is dry. She needs to leave here, she needs to get out. Danger, her mind screams. Something has happened to the other Sakura. The primitive part of Sakura’s brain is telling her if she didn’t find a way to escape, the girl would eat her alive. It didn’t matter that she was walled off, it didn’t matter that she was trapped (for now) in Sakura’s mind. Sakura has created a predator.

“I should…Thank you… for… for...”

Leave, leave, leave. 

Images hit her in a wave. She expects to see Ami, her torn face bloody and gaping, or Kasumi, eye oozing its jelly down a cheek. Instead, she sees Naruto, restrained, as red ink spilled beneath Ami’s pen, his face as slow tears rolled down from his eyes. 

“Stop it!” Sakura shrieks, grinding her palms against her eyes. 

The other Sakura gasps, loud and jarring, like the caw of a raven, bouncing off the stones around her. It could be laughter, it could be sobs; at this point, the sound is a horrible medley of both.

The pull is stronger now, tugging at her ankles, guiding her steps to come, calling her to the wall, to the mortar, to the other Sakura. 

She needs to leave, she needs to get out of this place. 

“Let me go!” she begs to no one in particular. “Just let me leave!”

Her stomach drops as her foot takes a step, guided by the unseen current. 

Sakura bites down on her hand, hard. Iron fills her mouth, but she doesn’t care. 

When she opened her eyes, she was in the bedroom. She gasped in relief, and a mouthful of blood poured from her lips. A bite mark marred the meat of one arm. 

As she wiped her clammy forehead and stumbled to the bathroom to vomit, foul victory burned through her.

I know now, she thought to herself as her body heaved. I’ve got a way out.

She couldn’t face Naruto that morning, she decided. Her guts were still too raw, and seeing his face before she could gather herself would spell disaster. 

Sakura forwent their usual morning meeting spot and made her way directly to the academy. There was still an hour before class started. To her surprise, the front doors of the building were unlocked. 

Of course, the teachers needed to arrive early to prepare. Stupid.

She slipped into their classroom. It was mercifully empty, and she huddled in her desk, letting her shuttering breath and panic overtake her. It was fine here. The same thing that kept life out of her parent’s house also made it impossible for her to cry there. 

The coin was still in her pocket. She pulled it out, running it through her fingers. Her arm was sore, and the bite mark stung. She had dressed it after waking, remembering her father’s lecture on bites. Human mouths were some of the grossest in the world, and anything that broke skin had to be cleaned thoroughly and quickly. Despite everything, despite the park and Sarei and Ami and the twist to her heart when she thought of either of her parents, she still kept the coin in her pocket. 

Ever since Kagami’s bedroom, something had gotten easier. She didn’t know if it had been time to practice or what, but the coin now danced between her fingers. At times, its momentum increased until it was just a blur of silver, darting around her digits like a minnow. She tried to focus on patterns, finding things that still challenged her. Wiggling all of her fingers at once was one of those things. It slowed it down, and she dropped it a few times before she started getting the hang of it. She also discovered that moving it from hand to hand was a challenge. She had been able to do them separately, but it was hard to focus on more than one limb. 

When the first student walked through the door, Sakura pocketed the coin. It was Hinata, the girl from yesterday. She nodded to Sakura, hesitant and unsure. 

By the time Sakura decided to return the gesture, Hinata had slunk to her seat, tense and miserable. 

More students followed soon after. 

“Oi, Sakura-chan! Are you alright?!” Naruto bounced over to their table and vaulted over it. Kami, she envied his energy. “You weren’t at our usual meeting spot this morning!”

“Didn’t mean to worry you, just had a headache.”

“Ahh!” He clapped a hand over his mouth. “Sorry!”

“Don’t worry about it.”

He was the most familiar with her frequent headaches. Most times, they were just an ever-present throb behind her temples, and she was able to ignore. When certain things like yelling and boisterous blonds came around, they had a habit of getting worse until all she could do was rub at her forehead and wait until she could find a silent place to gather herself. 

Soon enough, Iruka-sensei entered the classroom and the day began. After collecting their homework, he pulled out a fully-packed hip pack from behind the desk and emptied its contents. This lecture was actually interesting, she decided. It was a review of the basic tools in a shinobi’s arsenal. 

Kunai and Shuriken, other sharp things. 

Explosive tags and metal wire. 

A rudimentary first aid kit.

For once, the book didn’t come out during class. Even Naruto was interested, and Sakura saw him drawing doodles on his paper of what he’d include in his in the future. 

When lunch time came around, Iruka stopped by their desk. 

“Sakura, sorry to interrupt your lunch time, but one of the academy administrators would like to speak with you. Could you please come with me?”

She followed Iruka-sensei out of the classroom and down several halls. After going down a flight of stairs, they stopped in front of a door. Iruka knocked softly before opening it and ushered Sakura inside. It was a small room with a desk and several file cabinets. A name placard on the desk read “Takeuchi Fumio,” presumably matching the man behind said desk. Iruka took a seat and motioned for her to do the same. 

“So, this is Miss Haruno, I take it?” the man asked. 

“Yes, sir,” Iruka replied. She felt sudden distaste. It wasn’t his fault though, he didn’t know she was actively trying to leave behind her family name. 

“I understand you’re a new student and just started this week. First, let me introduce myself. My name is Takeuchi Fumio, although you may call me Takeuchi-sensei. I started here many years ago as a junior teacher, much like Umino-san here.”

“Takeuchi-san handles many of the logistics of the academy, including hiring, lesson plans, and funding. Although you won’t see him often as a student, know that he is a key person in your education,” Iruka supplied. 

Okay, so Takeuchi Fumio would be a good person not to offend. Message received. 

“Does Miss Haruno know why she’s been called here?” he asked. His eyes inspected her, and it reminded her a little of Danzo-sama.  

“No, sir,” she and Iruka both answered. 

“You’ve never attended school in classroom setting, correct?”

“Correct, sir.”

“And you’ve never received formalized shinobi training?”

“Correct, sir.” It was close enough. 

“Well, I have to say, Miss Haruno, you exhibit quite the talent for academics. In fact, you place several years above your peers in scholarly achievements already.”

How had he made that judgement? There weren’t any placement tests she’d had to take, and they’d only turned in homework for a few days. Was he confusing her with someone else?

He noticed her look and smiled. The expression was clearly not comfortable for him, and read as pinched and uncomfortable. 

“This is a shinobi academy, Miss Haruno. Even though we are not currently in combat, all of your instructors have gone through extensive training. We have several systems in place for identifying promising students. Umino-san tells me you often read in class, and not the materials preferred by your age group.”

Of course, she was an idiot if she thought she could hide a book from a trained shinobi. 

“In addition, we routinely include several barometer questions on assignments to identify students with above-average knowledge or deductive ability. What a surprise it was, to find a civilian-born child answering advanced questions about geography and trade routes that might trip up most Chunin. Might I add, it’s also highly unusual to use the method of multiplication you used on your math assignment. Although your answers weren’t wrong, that method isn’t common in Konoha’s curriculum. The last time I saw it taught was in a visit to Kiri, years ago.”

She should have known there was something odd about the papers she was handed. The front side was always the same as everyone else, but Naruto never seemed to share the same questions as the back of the page. Now that she thought about it, both Mizuki-sensei and Iruka-sensei saved her for last when they handed out papers. She’d thought it was because she and Naruto sat at the very back. Kami, she was such an idiot for not noticing!

“While your physical prowess is… less than inspiring—”

She sunk into her chair, cheeks flaming. News of her passing out and barfing after running an eighth of a mile got all the way up to an administrator?

“It’s nothing that can’t be fixed in time. We are considering you for an alternative track. As Umino-san mentioned early, I manage a great many things here. One of the ones he did not mention was talent scouting. We believe you to be a strong candidate for our accelerated course of study. You would have to change classes, of course, but you would be among an older group of peers.”

Should she feel proud right now? She didn’t. Something tickled at the back of her mind, and it took her a second before she remembered. Both Shisui and her father had warned her of what happened to people who stood out against the crowd. 

But on the other hand, an accelerated course meant less time she would have to spend in the boring classroom, wasting years. 

“How accelerated, sir?” she asked him. 

He smiled, and this time she was sure he reminded her of Danzo-sama. 

“Details about the accelerated track are classified, so unfortunately I can’t divulge certain aspects until you formally enroll. What I can tell you is that you will likely graduate from the academy within the year, and then enter into an apprenticeship. There is a specific path we have in mind for you; one that would not place undo weight on your lackluster physical abilities.”

Less than a year. She could be a legal adult in less than a year, move in with Naruto, and leave the family house with its memories of her parents behind. 

“May I think about it, sir?” 

“Of course, it would be unwise to do otherwise. Please tell either myself or Umino-san of your decision by Monday.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Iruka-sensei stood. “Excellent. If we’re done, Takeuchi-sama, class will be resuming soon.”

“Of course.” He waved a hand at them. 

“Oh, and Miss Haruno?” he called as she was walking through the door. “Opportunities like this are rare. I urge you to make the correct decision.”

“They want you to move classes? Why would they do that?” Naruto asked as he scribbled on his homework. 

“Academics. They said it my physical abilities wouldn’t matter.”

“So you’d get to be some super smart special ninja?”

She wasn’t actually sure, she still new very little about shinobi classification and the day-to-day. It was odd, the academy hadn’t covered any details like that in their classes so far. 

“Maybe? I mean, it would make sense that there would be shinobi with desk jobs who work behind the scenes.”

She heard him make a ragged sound and he looked up. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course!” His hand rubbed across his eyes and he tried to give off his best ‘Im so happy right now’ smile. It didn’t work. 

“You’d be sad if I changed classes?” she guessed. This whole friend thing was still new. Friends were supposed to miss each other, right?

“Of course! But I’d get over it. You gotta chase your dreams, Sakura-chan! If they give you a really cool way to become a shinobi you gotta take it, y’know?”

She folded her arms and rested her forehead on them.

“But I’m not sure it’s for the best. I mean, yeah, it would be nice to become a legal adult sooner rather than later, but they couldn’t tell me anything about it. The details are only shared if I formally accept.”

Naruto grinned and while it still wasn’t completely real, it was a little more genuine. “You should do it! Not only would you get to be with other super smart kids, but you get to learn super secret ninja skills! That’s so cool!”

Sakura helped him with his homework.  He was getting better, slowly. He also had less trouble if there were visuals, she noticed. The homework for that night was to label a drawing of standard ninja tools with their names. Naruto was able to do some on his own, but struggled with the spelling and penmanship. 

After finishing their homework and eating their instant ramen, Sakura returned to the house. It was only once she was sitting on her bed that memories of the night before came flooding back. She had no idea why she had visited the cemetery in her dreams, only that it had been the first time in quite awhile.

The bite still stung, reminding her to change the bandages. She rewrapped it with some of her gauze stash. She still kept her hands wrapped up in bandages to the elbows during the day, only taking them off when she slept. One night of sleeping in a weird position had left both her arms numb for hours. As much as she hated the sensation of fabric and the phantom slip of blood against her skin, she’d much rather have use of her hands the next day. 

When she slipped beneath the covers, she placed a knife from the kitchen beneath her pillow and traced its edge beneath her fingers.

 As she opened her eyes to broken headstones and grey skies, she focused her mind on the feeling of the knife, still faint against her fingers. 

“Maggot...?” the other girl calls from the crypt.

Sakura thinks the word “close” with all her might. A sharp pain jolted in her hand and she jerked awake, back in the bedroom. A line of blood streaked her palm, but Sakura smiled. 

There would be no more unwilling meetings with the other Sakura, even if it took sleeping with a knife beneath her pillow for the rest of her life. 

When she packed he overnight clothes into her school bag the next morning for her sleepover with Ino, she wrapped the kitchen knife in a pair of socks at the bottom of her bag, and set off to the academy.