Work Text:
“My anaconda don’t—”
“Whoo! Nicki!”
“My anaconda don’t—my anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hun!”
Natasha resists the urge to flinch as the sound of the stereo playing at full volume cuts through the silence of the house. Knowing that she’s not going to be able to read any longer with the music so loud, she marks her page and sets her novel aside. Natasha climbs out of bed before walking out of the room, her bare feet padding softly against the carpeted floor as she makes her way downstairs.
When she reaches the bottom step and peers around the corner, she immediately covers her mouth to prevent laughter from escaping. In the living room is her boyfriend, Sam, dancing and rapping to Nicki Minaj while wearing an American Flag onesie and a pair of massive pink sunglasses, both of which were given to him by Steve and Bucky, respectively, for his birthday last week.
Natasha grins widely to herself before slipping back upstairs and grabbing her phone of the nightstand. She returns to the bottom step, switching her camera to the video option before pressing record, watching gleefully as Sam raps and shakes his perfect ass along to the song, completely oblivious to Natasha’s presence.
“. . . Come through and fuck him in my automobile—let him eat it with his grills, he keep telling me to chill. He keep telling me it’s real, that he loves my sex appeal. Cause he don’t like ‘em bony, he want something he can grab, so I pulled up in the Jag and hit ‘em with jab like dum-dum dum- dum . . .”
“My anaconda—” Sam whirls around and screeches when he finally spots Natasha on the steps.
She’s raises an eyebrow before pressing the stopping the recording and hiding the phone behind her back so he doesn’t see that she has it. She waits patiently while Sam collects himself and turns down the stereo.
“So, uh . . . exactly how long have you been standing there?” he asks, sounding slightly embarrassed as the song continues playing quietly in the background.
Natasha hums. “Long enough,” she answers vaguely before going back upstairs.
Later that night, long after Sam went to bed, she creates a YouTube account and uploads the video of Sam. In less than twelve hours, it becomes the most viewed video in the history of the website.
To this day, Sam has no idea that this video exists.