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Tecchou was asleep, Jouno could hear it. The slow thump, thump of his heart as he slipped deeper into his sleep cycle while Jouno was awake. The lull of sleep was right there, tugging at the back of his eyes, yet the rest of his body wasn’t ready to sleep yet, pulling him away.
And the constant push and pull caused him to shift his head lower, until his head was in the crook of Tecchou’s neck, his heartbeat gently throbbing in his veins. So steady and hypnotizing, like a metronome ticking out the tempo for an orchestra.
He laid his hand over both of Tecchou’s hands from where they rested over their blanket.
Tecchou’s hands were, so to speak, a near-mirror image as himself. Maybe a bit large and sometimes a bit clumsy, but he always got the job done. They were slightly warm, slightly cold. A perfect balance.
Jouno couldn’t see it, but he most certainly could feel it. Feel the heat on his back, searing holes, as they watched over Jouno’s every move. Brown eyes glaring like a hawk. And then Jouno felt the chill that had always haunted him come back like a double cape when Tecchou removed his gaze and returned to whatever he did.
His hand brushed over Tecchou’s left pinky. He could count on one hand how many promises Tecchou had sealed with him using this pinky.
(It’s not because Tecchou was shit at keeping promises. On the contrary, he kept them. He kept them to his last breath. Jouno and promises? He kept them. Quietly. Discreetly. But he kept them nonetheless. But back to the original topic, the two of them couldn’t really keep promises, or make them, what with the bricks of their job grinding down on their shoulders.
Their hands too occupied with making sure the bricks didn’t crush them, making a promise; wouldn’t that send the structure crumbling down?)
Tecchou let out a shudder of a breath; the type that causes the body to jolt and take a breath from the gut, as if it was punched straight out of him, before it escaped in a low whistle from the little crook in his bottom teeth. (Jouno would know there was a crook there, you see. He’s felt it more than enough times.)
Jouno’s pinky brushed over his ring finger.
He felt something sink in his heart, when he realized something was missing. And, oh so cruelly reminded that however hard you dream of something, it won’t happen unless you do it.
Jouno rarely listened to his own heartbeat now, not when he was so busy making sure this man’s heart was running smoothly without interruption. Not when the other sounds of his colleagues, loud and annoying as they were, took up his concentration.
But, now? Jouno could feel his heart beat just a tad bit faster at the prospect of putting something there. Jouno had something, tucked into a little spot in a drawer filled with random trinkets and the like. There just wasn’t the right time.
Work called.
Training called.
The country called (Tecchou away, while Jouno followed.)
So Jouno didn’t get the opportunity. There was one where he nearly did it, but he choked up and ended up having a coughing fit. And then there was another, and another, and so many others.
“One day.” He whispered, tilting his head up to leave a soft peck on the corner of Tecchou’s lips. “One day.” Jouno repeats, before he let the lull of sleep drag him under.