Chapter Text
A white hyundai is parked on fresh grass still glistening with morning dew. It’s 11am on a sunny August day, one of these days on which your family would go camping and enjoy nature. Jongin’s laying down on one of those foldable chairs and his closed eyes make the perfect movie screen for him to replay his childhood memories on. He can hear the boisterous laughs of his parents, the sound of his sisters playing shuttlecock with cheap wooden rackets that almost have no string tension. Even the smell of the fish he helped catch is more nostalgic than disgusting in his nose nowadays. He feels the rays of sunshine hitting his bare chest, temperature too hot and Jongin confident enough to decide to just ditch the shirt and let it get dirty next to him where he has thrown it on the shore. His legs are still completely dry, but the peaceful sounds of the river stream and the waft of cold air that hits him every now and then tempts him to dip his feet into the water later.
When he opens his eyes, he’s met with a beautiful face. There is another foldable chair right next to his own, so close that there would be absolutely no problems if you decided to hold hands sitting down. In contrast to his own little scattered space, the chair next to him has a towel neatly folded on top of it, as well as a bottle of sunscreen and a can of beer. Kyungsoo’s eyes are filled with curiosity, pearly whites of his eyes popping out but pupils mustering Jongin silently. His hyung delicately touches his bare arm with the tips of his fingers. Jongin notices they’re slightly greasy, probably from the sunscreen.
“Can we set up all the fishing things now?”, he asks. His soft voice is tinted with excitement and Jongin adores how simple things like that make the other enthusiastic like this. Not only does Jongin know how much Kyungsoo enjoys the healing time far away from busy city (and previously also idol) life, he also knows the older newer had the chance to experience activities like these as a child. All those memories from summer days with his family that Jongin values so much, the sounds that are so familiar to him, sometimes he can’t believe Kyungsoo’s mind is just blank in that aspect. Both of their moms are from Jeolla-do, near the sea, and yet the only taste Kyungsoo has from the province is the taste of his mom’s marinated crab.
Not to speak of, his relationship with his father has always been rather complicated. Jongin doesn’t know if their rocky relationship has started with his father disliking the fact that his son did not have any plans to ever marry a girl, or if he just wasn’t the type to show emotion. All he knows is that Kyungsoo’s father has left some scabs and wounds in his son’s heart that Jongin works hard towards caring for with the premise of hopefully helping him heal one day. Fishing with his father has always been an activity that has helped them bond, a cliché father-son experience that taught him many life lessons in the same breath. They would only go fishing in the summer, when it was nice and warm in the evening still, because his father worried about his only son catching a cold.
Today is a beautiful day, and the weather forecast predicts equally great weather tomorrow. He wishes he could go fishing with his father one more time too. On a day like today, or tomorrow. Maybe by going on a day vacation with Kyungsoo like this, he can help him heal his own wounds too.
Jongin’s abs flex as he circles his fingers around Kyungsoo’s dainty wrist and uses him to push himself up from the chair. From up close, he smells really nice - like summer. It’s a sweet natural smell, mixed with the rich scent of the sunscreen. He walks the short distance to the car and pulls out a fishing rod, a rod holder, a sensor, a net and some fishing bait. Kyungsoo waits on the shoreline, watching him carry all the utensils. His hair has grown a bit, so the black bangs get tousled by the summer breeze and Jongin can watch him run his hand through his hair cutely, trying to hold it in place.
“So you actually don’t hold the rod in your hands the entire time and wait?”, Kyungsoo asks when Jongin puts down his bags.
“No, no. You stick this holder in the ground and put your fishing rod on there. The sensor I’m gonna attach will make noise once a fish takes the bait and then we’ll successfully pull it in. That’s the plan.” Kyungsoo nods along and watches Jongin set up everything.
“Have you put on sunscreen yet?” Jongin shakes his head. His skin is pretty robust to the sun, so he tends to forget about protection. Kyungsoo waddles to his chair with his slippers on and fetches the sunscreen. While Jongin is bending down and securing the sensor, gentle hands come to lightly knead his back and spray it with the liquid. Compared to the sizzling August sun, Kyungsoo’s hands are pleasantly warm on his back - like always. It’s a warmth that stems from comfort. He takes his time to rub Jongin’s waist, the drip of his back, the slightly tensed shoulder blades. When he simultaneously does both of Jongin’s arms, he comes to a halt for a moment. Gripping his upper arms from where he’s standing behind him, Jongin suddenly feels a feathery press of lips against the sturdy backside of his neck. Only a few seconds later, the lingering touch is replaced by another spray of sunscreen.
Jongin turns around, finished with the simple set-up, and cups Kyungsoo’s nape with one of his hands, caressing it with his thumb and giving the other a small smile. He removes his hand and sits down on his chair again.
“Now all we do is wait?”, Kyungsoo cautiously sits down on his chair, arms almost brushing Jongin’s.
“Yes, we can relax now.”, he says and sinks deeper into his chair, “Close your eyes and take a nap, hyung.” Jongin closes his eyes for a few seconds, then peeks one open to check if Kyungsoo’s are closed too and when he has the peace of mind that the other’s brain is not processing every detail as always, seeing the thick eyelashes sitting atop his eyelids, he can rest as well.
They naturally wake up after some time, birds chirping and calling out for their mates. They drink cans of beer together, just something light, and talk. Kyungsoo tells him about how he wishes to catch some eel and how he has read up on a delicious soup recipe using it a few days ago. There is no way Jongin can guarantee they will bring a fish home today, especially an eel, but on the other hand Kyungsoo looks like he’s already anticipating the food and Jongin doesn’t want to disappoint him, somehow. After all, this is their first fishing experience together and he wants him to save it in his brain as a good memory. For him personally, this is a good memory already. Doing something peaceful with someone who is very important to you and taking silly pictures to remember when they’re older. Kyungsoo is not much of a talker, but he’s fond of keeping physical memories just like him.
Jongin also notices how Kyungsoo blooms in nature. The man has always expressed his craving for freedom openly to him. Growing up in a household with expectations burdening him, being free became an integral part of what it meant to be a human being for him. With time, Jongin had to learn to respect that longing for freedom, even if it caused himself harm from time to time. Seeing him curious and carefree at a river just a short drive away makes Jongin feel at ease. Jongin tends to daydream and forget around his surroundings, but when Kyungsoo is with him, he loves to watch him. While he sits in his chair, bare feet playing with the little stones of the shore underneath him, Kyungsoo sits down on the ground in front of a wild flower bed and takes the stem of the growing flowers between his middle and his ring finger, tugging lightly towards him so he can take a closer look at the petals, their colors and an potential tiny bugs living there. He always makes sure to smell the flowers first before contemplating if he can allow himself to rip off a part of the stem as to make a bouquet.
Jongin watches intently how Kyungsoo inhales deeply, appreciates the scent of nature and ditches the chair Jongin brought out for him in favor of laying down in the short grass. Jongin doesn’t know if he’s taking a nap in the sunshine or if he’s watching a little ladybug crawl up a blade of grass with his head resting on his arms in front of him. But he seems to be happy, and that’s all that matters for Jongin.
A few hours later, there is a singular long slippery fish in their plastic bucket. At first, Kyungsoo was appalled by the struggling eel hanging on the hook, looking away as Jongin proceeded to kill it and throw it into the bucket. But Kyungsoo was also a big fan of working with fresh and high quality produce, so the disgust ultimately ebbed into a feeling of anticipation. Back at their plot of land away from the city, Kyungsoo has finally started working on planting vegetable seeds and harvesting his own food. Being autonomous when it comes to food supply has been a dear wish for a long time now, and when Jongin happily helped him create fertile vegetable patches, he was over the moon. They fish a while longer, with different bait and different hook, and decide to keep even the little fish - for their puppies back home. The energetic dogs will surely appreciate the fresh small fish, even though they never complain about their usually premium quality canned food.
Content with their bucket filled halfway by now, Jongin leans back and enjoys the crooning of some 90s Korean hits playing through the bluetooth speaker he brought along. However, from Jongin’s observation, Kyungsoo seems to have other plans. He decides to lean forward on his seat and clasp his rough hands together to watch what the other is doing. Slowly, Kyungsoo is approaching the water, still wearing his Nike slippers. He crouches down to dip his fingers into the water, sploshing it around gently to test the temperature. With his body folding like this, Jongin thinks he looks so tiny that he would fit into his pocket. His neck is craned forwards, looking closely at the water, other hand gripping onto the little pebbles under him to stabilize his body. His glasses are far away, sitting in the glove box of the car since they do nothing but reflect the sunlight for Kyungsoo to not see anything anymore in the blazing sun.
“The water here looks pretty shallow.”, Kyungsoo remarks, eyes still focused on the glistening mild waves in front of him. He stands up and glances at the bucket of fish, “Jongin, do you think there’s any crayfish in here?”
Jongin quirks up an eyebrow. He knows there aren’t any crayfish in here, and even if, the water is not evenly shallow enough for them to look under the rocks where the animals are hiding most of the time. “Why are you asking?”
“I was thinking about the eel I want to prepare today and suddenly I thought about how delicious boiled crayfish would be. What do you think? Should we look for some?”, he says and his wide eyes confirm he’s genuinely intrigued by the idea of catching crayfish.
Jongin takes a moment to think. There is no chance Kyungsoo will be able to catch any since there is nothing, but the thought of him wading into the water and searching intently is very adorable. It would also mean he would actually go into the water, albeit he told Jongin just before their trip that he doesn’t want to get wet today. Coaxing him to go into the water wouldn’t have any harmful consequences for the shorter man and Jongin has always loved pulling pranks on him and lovingly bullying him, so he settles for a confirmation.
“I’m not sure, I mean we originally didn’t come to look for them, but you can give it a try!” He stands up and tiptoes, pretending to overlook the river and gauge it’s depth. He gives a thumbs up and then settles down again with a laugh, “I’m not going to help you though. I’m just gonna watch you, okay?”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes jokingly but then just waddles back to the car to grab a smaller bucket he can take with him into the water. He takes off his slippers, putting them neatly beside each other on the shore, and steps into the water. With the way his body tenses up when the water reaches his calves, Jongin knows the water is colder than Kyungsoo has expected. At first, Kyungsoo pulls up his shorts to avoid them touching the water, but once he reaches down and realizes getting them wet is inevitable, he drops the act. Jongin feels happy like this - listening to soothing music while he can watch the man moving cluelessly in the water, bucket in hand and gaze casted downwards. He sees him reaching deep into the water, trying to grasp onto something, feel up the pebbles underneath him, just for his hands to emerge from the water empty. A capricorn like Kyungsoo doesn’t give up easily, though. He has a stubbornness to him that Jongin always resonated with, especially when it comes to work and his work ethic. They matched well from the beginning because both of them were always determined to work hard towards what they wanted. It comes just natural to Jongin that they found each other in the end. That they found each other at the end of every goal, every accomplishment somehow.
When Kyungsoo loses his balance for the first time and plops into the water, Jongin just laughs out loud and almost falls out of his chair seeing the other’s unamused face with wet bangs sticking to his forehead. When he loses balance for the second time, Kyungsoo doesn’t even bother getting back up. He just sits there in the water, only his body up from his collarbones showing, and mopes. The small bucket floats on the surface, turned at an angle for Jongin to see it’s completely empty. Kyungsoo pouts.
“I don’t want to do this anymore.”, he huffs out and flips his hair, tiny droplets escaping. Jongin coos, and sees this as a clue for him to finally intervene. He steps into the water without hesitation, grabs the empty bucket and throws it onto the shore, where it coincidentally lands right next to Kyungsoo’s chair. He proceeds to wade towards Kyungsoo and without any further ado, he crouches down, puts his hands under the other’s legs and back and scoops him up in bridal style. Kyungsoo’s eyes widen and he’s lost for a second with the sudden movement, but he knows that he is safe in Jongin’s arms. For a moment he worries if the weight of his body and soaked clothes are a burden to Jongin, but then a hand creeps up his back and shifts to brush Kyungsoo’s wet bangs out of his eyes. Jongin’s arms are not shaking at all while carrying the older, intense biceps training over the years coming in handy. It only takes one loving smile from Jongin for Kyungsoo’s expression to change from gloomy to cheerful again, his smile scrunching up so that crow’s feet start forming beside his eyes. Jongin twirls around in the water with his hyung in his arms, and they share a laugh. Jongin takes his time with the short walk from the middle of the river to his own folding chair, where he eventually gently drops off Kyungsoo on.
Jongin grabs the clean folded towel from the chair besides him and faces Kyungsoo. He reaches out one arm to slide over Kyungsoo’s shoulder, then he caresses his dripping chin and cheek.
“There weren’t any crayfish in the water. I just wanted to pull a prank on you.”, Jongin says, trying to sound regretful but the smile gives away that he’s not taking it seriously. He awaits a weak slap on his arm, an eye-roll or a dismissive hiss, but all Kyungsoo does this time is look up at him with big puppy eyes and say:
“Can you please dry my hair for me?”
So cute. Jongin actually feels his cheeks burning up slightly with endearment. A few hours have passed by now and the sun is still high up in the sky, warming his skin. Which means that Kyungsoo could simply wait for a few minutes and his hair would dry on his own. By now, Jongin knows how to read the other, though, so he figures Kyungsoo just feels like being taken care of right now. He doesn’t hesitate and starts rubbing his scalp with the white towel Kyungsoo brought. When he dries his own hair, he usually rubs it aggressively for a few seconds and that’s all he needs before he goes to bed but he knows that Kyungsoo cares about his hair staying healthy more than he does. So he gently roams the towel over the mop of hair, pausing to watch how Kyungsoo has closed his eyes and sits still.
Just when he’s about to remove the towel, a sparrow decides to settle on Kyungsoo’s hand. Immediately, Kyungsoo makes a shushing noise and tilts his head forward gingerly, inspecting the lithe bird. Stunned, Jongin watches how Kyungsoo brings up his other hand and starts running his pinky over the bird’s light brown feathers, petting the creature. He whispers a small ‘goodbye’ before reaching out his arm and shaking it slightly for his little animal friend to continue on its journey.
Golden hour begins to strike and their stomachs start grumbling, so they decide to pack up their things and drive home. They’re sitting in the car, ready to leave the tranquil river and wild grass behind, when Jongin puts his hand on Kyungsoo’s thigh instead of starting the engine. Maybe it’s the sun hitting the other’s face in the perfect angle, elevating the deep chocolate color of Kyungsoo’s eyes, but Jongin suddenly feels the urge to tell him something.
“You’re so amazing.”
Kyungsoo ducks his head down and puts his hands up in denial, “No, no. I’m really not. I should thank you for introducing me to all of this.”
“I mean it!”, Jongin says honestly, “Every living being on this planet adores you. Animals trust you without hesitation. Even they know that you have a pure soul. That’s a rare trait in a human.”
Kyungsoo still feels shy, but decides to look up just to stare into Jongin’s sparkling eyes. They are shaped like the eyes of an elegant feline, irises a deep brown that swallow his pupils. His eyes are so attentive, drawing you in needing no more than a single flutter of short but curled eyelashes. The warmth of those huge but careful hands on his clad thigh seeps into his skin. The car window is still opened, giving the interior of the car room to breathe as well as to cool down. Jongin’s natural tan is emphasized by the sunlight hitting the windshield, and he glows in gold. If the concept of aura is real, Jongin would definitely glow in a bright yellow tone. His delicate spirituality, his way of viewing the world, his principle of being honest but still so warm and accommodating towards other people. Jongin calls him amazing, says he’s loved by every human being, when Jongin is so busy giving others love that he doesn’t realize how universally loved he is himself.
“Thank you.”, he says. It’s a short and blunt reply. He’s not good with words, never has been, and that’s what gives two simple words like these a heavy meaning. Kyungsoo reaches out tentatively and puts his own hand atop of the one that’s resting on his thigh, because if he can’t speak, at least he can show what he feels like.
“Let’s drive home.”, Jongin says. He starts the engine and maneuvers them back onto the dirt road. The road is not paved properly, so there are a few humps and holes that rattle the car during the ride. The impact causes the songs on the playlist Kyungsoo has picked out for them to lose connection to the bluetooth radio for a few seconds as they sit in silence, but Jongin’s hand never loses its steadiness and grip on Kyungsoo’s thigh.
He concludes that Jongin is like the tides. Sometimes full of energy, sometimes the personification of silence. Sometimes his temper is a little bit too hot, sometimes he puts up a wall and acts apathetic. But all of him is grounded in the constancy of his values and primal feelings, just like the tides are grounded by the gravity of the moon. Even if Jongin’s mind strays away and they fight, he knows his heart always remains at the right place. His heart never needs to find back to him, because Jongin loves so deeply that it never went astray.