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"Little bird--"
And whatever else Ushijima says vanishes into the morning air. All that echoes in Hinata's mind are those two words. Hazy warmth spreads through Hinata's body, starting from his chest, racing towards his limbs. The young man's heart quickens with elation. Scarlet colors Hinata's cheeks until cascading down his neck. As Ushijima leans down, honey amber eyes widen. Their foreheads rest together. The pure joy fluttering in Hinata's chest grows into a wild hurricane.
"Are you alright?" Notes of quiet tenderness ring in Ushijima's voice. Humming, he feels for Hinata's temperature. "You're warm. And quite red."
Flustered beyond belief, Hinata hides his face against Ushijima's broad chest. A sound of delight muffles against the slate blue t-shirt. His boyfriend's adorable antics draw laughter from Ushijima. With a fond smile, Ushijima runs calloused fingers through fluffy orange locks. The other hand wielding the spatula flips a pancake. By now, Ushijima's mastered the art of working the stove, and holding his partner at the same time. More words stifle against Ushijima's chest.
Ushijima fails at fighting an amused grin. "I didn't quite catch that."
"I said--" Smiling, Hinata looks up. A vibrant blush brings out the sunset hues of Hinata's eyes. "I'm happy to be with you, Toshi."
A kaleidoscope of emotions flicker in Hinata's open gaze. Iridescent. Vivid. Dazzling. Ushijima wonders what he's done to deserve the sun. Right here in Ushijima's arms is the brightest star in the universe.
Since the first day they cross paths, Hinata shines fiercely. The first encounter leaves Ushijima at a loss. He's utterly bewildered by how someone like Hinata Shouyou even exists. When Hinata embraces being from the concrete, and soars into the sky to catch the volleyball-- Ushijima isn't outraged. He feels alive. As the sunset casts Hinata's hair ablaze, Ushijima grows profoundly aware of his own beating heart.
A lifetime of iron barricades tremble every time Ushijima watches Hinata on the court. Only volleyball takes Ushijima's breath away. Yet his lungs ache while in Hinata's presence. Any time their eyes meet during the Shiratorizawa vs. Karasuno match, Ushijima begins to understand why Icarus fervently desired the sun.
Years later, Ushijima stands in a kitchen that's full of warmth and life. He's enamored as ever while holding Hinata closely, and seeing him in an old Shiratorizawa t-shirt. When they're together, all of Ushijima's hard edges soften. His face remembers how to smile. He forgets being subconscious about the sound of his own laughter. Warmth resurfaces in his eyes.
Ushijima cups Hinata's cheek. "I'm happy to be with you too, little bird."
Solar flares burst in Hinata's chest. Grasping the front of Ushijima's shirt, Hinata pulls the man down closer. He catches Ushijima's lips in a kiss. Although Hinata may get flustered into oblivion, he's never shy about giving affection. He loves passionately, loudly, boldly. Hinata's a wildfire that's impossible to tame. And Ushijima will never try to extinguish any part of this extraordinary man. He hopes the whole world sees how brilliantly Hinata burns.
Without breaking the kiss, Ushijima turns off the stove. He's learned a lesson after almost charring tamagoyaki the other night. Unable to wait any longer, Hinata jumps up to wrap his arms around Ushijima's shoulders. His laughter spills into the man's ear. Ushijima circles a strong arm around his partner's waist. He lifts Hinata with ease, then helps him onto the kitchen counter.
Giggling, Hinata sneaks in light kisses. Ushijima stands between his partner's legs. Golden ochres meet green umbers. Hinata showers Ushijima with soft affection. Lips brush his forehead, his temple, his cheeks. Fingers thread through brown hair.
With a warm smile, Ushijima asks, "Don't you want your pancakes?"
"I do! Especially 'cause you make the best pancakes!" Hinata laughs brightly. The sound's reminiscent of wind chimes in the summer breeze. Pure, clear notes sing a lovely melody. "I love your cooking, Toshi. Everyone on our team does." Hinata kisses traces of a rising blush. "Buuuut--"
The singsong voice carries until Hinata starts kissing down Ushijima's neck. Ushijima braces a hand on the counter. His other hand rests on the small of Hinata's back. Playfully, Hinata nips at last night's hickeys. Deep rouge blemishes trail down Ushijima's throat, and peek out from the shirt collar. Fabric brushes against a chaotic mess of love bites. With a low groan, Ushijima closes his eyes.
Most people assume Ushijima's always the one ravishing Hinata. But it's Hinata who's insatiable, hungry, smiling as his teeth graze down Ushijima's throat, nails raking over his back, moaning so pretty into his ear. As Hinata wraps his legs around the man, Ushijima lets himself be drawn in closer.
Like it's his favorite secret, Hinata whispers, "I missed kissing you."
Sunlight trickles through partially opened blinds. Red and gold highlights flicker in Hinata's hair. The light in those ambers has Ushijima feeling everything at once. His lungs ache with flourishing emotions. The right words linger just out of reach.
Whereas most people demand Ushijima to change, and learn to talk more, Hinata never asks any such thing. Instead Hinata learns how Ushijima speaks in silent ways-- the fingers ruffling Hinata's bangs, the steady rate of his breathing, the warmth in his gaze.
They share another slow, sweet kiss. Ushijima curls his fingers in Hinata's hair. Russet strands twine around, and flow in waves. When lips part, the space between them glows with Hinata's laughter. Ushijima turns the stove back on, and finishes making pancakes. He smiles as Hinata kisses his shoulder.
Sometimes, Hinata wonders if he's too much for Ushijima.
Too loud. Too hyper. Too touchy. Too spontaneous.
Too much of everything.
Since Hinata's demeanor is always so upbeat, people assume he's immune to insecurity, anxiety, and any remotely negative emotions. People jokingly claim there's only a volleyball rolling around in his head. Some might even think Hinata lacks the emotional depth to experience struggles.
It's not true.
Hinata feels so much.
Maybe too much.
Emotions crash into tired bones like a brutal tidal wave. Always threatening to take him down under. Hinata chooses to show only the positive emotions. Once his father left after his sister was born, Hinata swore to keep everyone around him happy. And one of the best ways to do that is by smiling.
That perpetual smile rubs some people the wrong way. They call Hinata an 'airhead', 'dumb', 'naive', and whatever else. Hinata's never cared about changing anyone's opinions. Volleyball is what he gives his all to. And with the sport, people's perspective of Hinata is shaped by his actions on the court.
But the world's axis begins to tilt once people learn about Hinata's and Ushijima's relationship. There are already two Kings of the Court with Kageyama and Oikawa. Another power couple enters the volleyball realm. Hinata and Ushijima slam spikes as monstrous forces of nature.
Even before the university team, Ushijima's been known for his stoic nature. He remains reserved during interviews. But Ushijima's vocal about expressing how much he loves Hinata, and how he's proud to be Hinata's partner. Even during social events, Ushijima carries that same tone. It's often done with an arm around Hinata. When Ushijima loves him so openly, so fearlessly, Hinata feels alive with the warmth of summer.
But sometimes, the beginning of winter crawls in.
Passing looks. Whispered words. Everything carrying an undertone of disapproval and judgement. People are thrown off by Ushijima being with someone so vastly different from him. In those people's eyes, they deem Hinata as not good enough.
"Ushijima's on a higher level. You're bringing him down."
A stranger in a crowded hall mutters those words under their breath. They vanish into the sea of people. But the parasitic words latch onto Hinata. In the past, Hinata's been criticized to his face. But it's always been about only Hinata. Never in association to another person. Hinata knows he should brush away those unkind remarks. But the words burrow in deep. Before he knows it, the verbal poison takes root. Bristling, scornful words replay in his mind.
Hinata tries to bury those words, those anxieties, those fears. His heart chimes encouragingly, telling Hinata to focus on the here and now. So, Hinata takes a deep breath, and puts on his best smile.
On this rare day off, Hinata and Ushijima go on a date. It's a simple, yet fun outing where they explore more of the city. While riding the overpacked subway, Ushijima holds Hinata close. Hinata's giggles muffle when Ushijima kisses his head. Hinata leans up to lightly peck his boyfriend's cheek. The way Ushijima smiles softly has Hinata kissing him a second time.
As they get off the train, Ushijima takes Hinata's hand. Fingers lace together. While exploring, the couple ventures into open market stands. Hinata blinks when Ushijima tugs on his hand, and leads him towards the right. They approach a display of various keychains.
"It's you." Ushijima points at a small black crow. The round bird has tiny wings, and wears a smile. "From Karasuno."
Hinata laughs in delight. "So cute!" Grinning, Hinata leans against his partner. "Oh-- and this one's you, Toshi!" Hinata pokes at a white bird. "They look happy together."
Ushijima glances down with a warm smile. "Like us?"
Hinata's blush darkens five shades of red. Ushijima chuckles. After Ushijima gives his boyfriend a kiss, they start walking again. It takes a block or two until Hinata's blush begins to fade. Hinata doubts he'll ever stop being flustered by his partner. It's something Ushijima has an uncanny talent for.
But as they walk hand-in-hand through the city streets, the winter inside Hinata's chest grows stronger. Words from strangers claw to the surface. Glacier frost coats the back of his throat. A cold ocean of anxiety swells inside Hinata's ribcage. It follows Hinata to the ramen shop they visit for lunch, the newly opened stationery and houseware store, then all the way back to Ushijima's apartment.
"Toshi?" Hinata almost winces. His voice sounds awfully quiet even to his own ears. "Can I ask you something?"
Perceptive as ever, Ushijima catches on quickly that something's troubling his partner. "Of course." Ushijima locks the front door. Taking Hinata by the hand, they settle down on the sofa. "You can always ask me anything."
"Am I..." Hinata's voice trails off with uncertainty. He traces the callouses on his boyfriend's hand. Over time, the marks have grown familiar to him. Hinata can map them out with eyes closed. "Am I too much for you?"
Brows knit together slowly. Ushijima sifts through his mind in an attempt to understand where this is coming from. But the question still leaves him perplexed. "I'm sorry, love. Can you help me understand?"
"Yeah, yeah, of course." Nodding, Hinata heaves in a breath. "Am I too--" He tries to gesture with his hands. But the shapes Hinata draws doesn't make sense. Not even to himself. "Too- too overwhelming? Too- ah--" A tremor races up one hand when the question rephrases itself. His hand falls to tug at the hem of his shirt. Hinata looks down. "Am I not a good partner for you?"
The silence that follows weighs heavily. Tension draws on. The quiet atmosphere is disturbed by the hitching of Hinata's breath. Ushijima pulls Hinata in closer. He rubs slow circles on his partner's back. The sure, steady hand runs over planes of honed muscle.
Hinata tries to fight the rising sob. He only lets himself cry about volleyball. It's not that Hinata believes crying to be a sign of weakness. But Hinata can't worry the people around him. Crying about his father stays a secret. Same goes for those months during Karasuno when Hinata's mother fell ill. Fortunately, she's recovered, and doing well. But Hinata never lets his mother or sister see him cry. Ushijima shouldn't have to see him cry either.
But today, a few traitorous tears escape. To Hinata's quiet surprise, it feels freeing. Each exhale feels lighter. When Ushijima caresses his cheek, Hinata leans into the kind touch.
Gently, Ushijima dries his partner's damp face. "I'm not quite a believer of love at first sight. But when I saw you jump to catch the ball that day--" Ushijima breathes in deeply. "I wondered if you were actually an angel."
A fierce blush strikes Hinata. Tearful eyes widen. Flustered beyond belief, Hinata buries his face into Ushijima's chest. "Toshi!" His voice muffles against soft fabric.
Chuckling warmly, Ushijima plays with Hinata's hair. "I remember how I couldn't stop thinking about you. For once, I was thinking about something other than volleyball." The back of his fingers rub against Hinata's warm cheek. "And even after we lost against Karasuno, I kept thinking about you. Especially after this." Ushijima shakes Hinata's hand.
When the memory collides, Hinata stifles another flustered yelp. It's such an adorable reaction that Ushijima can't hold back laughter. The warm, rich sound resonates in the living room. It's impossible to forget how Hinata approached Ushijima after that game.
"USHIJIMA!"
After hearing that voice shouting on the court, and near Shiratorizawa's gym, Ushijima knows who it is. With a quiet inhale, Ushijima slows to a halt. The bus heading back to school is right outside the door. Ushijima turns around, then tilts his head down.
Sure enough, it's Karasuno's #10. Ushijima holds his silence. Hinata never struck Ushijima as someone who would gloat over victory. His sportsmanship is too strong for that. Although mildly curious, Ushijima's also exhausted in more ways than one.
"Our bus is about to leave," Ushijima states matter-of-factly. After a glance over, Ushijima looks back at Hinata. "And so is your bus."
"I won't make you late, I promise!" Even after playing such an intense match, Hinata's vibrating with energy. The boy's radiant as ever. "I just-- I wanted to say that you're amazing! When you play, my heart goes like-- GWAH!!! times infinity! I want to meet you on the court again!"
Ushijima's almost tempted to ask what 'gwah' means, or if Hinata ever ends sentences without exclamation marks. Before Ushijima has the chance, Hinata holds out his hand. The boy's smile is bright as the first day they met. Despite the hollowness from losing the match, Ushijima feels something stir in his chest.
"We'll play again." Ushijima reaches for the boy's hand. "Hinata Shouyou."
Something about the way Ushijima says his name has Hinata smiling warmer. Silently, Ushijima marvels at how this boy is so full of life. As Hinata shakes Ushijima's hand, he passes over a scrap of paper.
"Bye!" Hinata flashes another smile, gives a polite bow, then runs towards Karasuno's bus.
Ushijima blinks. He wonders if it's the trick of the light, or if Hinata was actually blushing. While approaching the Shiratorizawa bus, Ushijima unfolds the note. There's a doodle of a little crow, and a phone number. During the bus ride, Ushijima texts the hastily scrawled number.
( sms: ushijima ) Did you draw the crow?
( sms: hinata ) !!!!! yes! uwu
( sms: ushijima ) It's cute.
( sms: hinata ) alkjlKJDFLKJkjsdf ///// !!!!!!!!!
And so begins conversations spanning over weeks. It grows into meeting up to practice, or to hang out. Once Hinata joins Ushijima in university, he passes over another folded note. A doodled crow with a speech bubble asks:
"Will you go out with me?"
It's a story Ushijima adores sharing with old teammates and friends. Plenty of interviewers are familiar with the story as well. Even after all those years, Ushijima still keeps both scraps of paper.
Eyes wavering, Hinata looks up. "You didn't think that was...too much?"
"No, little bird." Ushijima kisses Hinata's forehead. "It was brave. Just like everything else you do."
In stunned silence, Hinata stares. He doesn't realize more tears are falling until Ushijima wipes them away. Ushijima kisses a stray tear, then tilts Hinata's face towards him. Their lips meet in a kiss. It's soft, kind, and tender. The storm of anxiety calms down as seconds trickle by. When the kiss breaks, Hinata buries his face into Ushijima's chest. Ushijima holds his partner in a protective embrace.
"Shouyou." Ushijima runs a hand through Hinata's hair. "Mind if I ask what made you feel this way?"
"Uhm-...it was..." Suddenly, Hinata grows fascinated with Ushijima's flannel. "On the way to an interview. Just someone passing by in the hall..." Hinata retells the fleeting moment, and recites the haunting words. With eyes downcast, Hinata traces the pattern of criss-crossing lines. "It's okay, really. Don't worry-"
Hinata squeaks when Ushijima kisses his cheek. His temple. His jaw. Light kisses scatter everywhere until Hinata's shaking with laughter.
"Toshi!" Hinata's voice dissolves into giggles. A smile reaching his eyes turns them into crescent moons. "You're using my tactic!"
Warm playfulness flickers in Ushijima's gaze. "I know."
Hinata kisses his boyfriend's temple, then a small dimple. Ushijima's fingers caress down his partner's side. Leaning closer, Hinata rests his head in the curve of Ushijima's neck and shoulder.
"Thank you for telling me about this." Ushijima draws languid figure eights over Hinata's abdomen. "I know it couldn't be easy. And it's understandable that hearing such things can be troubling. But Shouyou-" Ushijima's lips brush over soft hair. "None of it's true. I'm so grateful to be your partner-- both on the court, and in life."
The weight of such a declaration hits Hinata hard. His heart wheezes in pure joy and love. More tears brim Hinata's eyes until the siennas glimmer. Hinata wraps his arms around the man. A hand rests on the side of Ushijima's face. For a quiet moment, they just look at each other. Hinata's ribs ache with all the love swelling inside.
"I love you so much, Toshi."
"I love you, too." Ushijima kisses his partner's forehead. "And what a shame our team wasn't around." He lets out a low, contemplative hum. "Or just Kageyama."
Warm laughter shakes Hinata. During high school, Kageyama shouted at Hinata every other second, and whacked away brain cells. It's fair considering all the times Hinata served the volleyball into Kageyama's skull. Now, Kageyama goes feral at anyone who even looks at Hinata the wrong way.
"Shouyou, can you hold out your hand?"
Curiosity sparks in Hinata's gaze. Nodding, Hinata offers his open hand.
"This one's for you." Ushijima places something small in Hinata's palm.
Amber eyes brighten in delight. It's the adorable crow keychain they saw earlier at the market. "Oh, my gosh!" Hinata lights up with a beaming smile. "Thank you so much! This is so cute-..." His voice trails off. As Ushijima draws his hand away, something else falls into Hinata's palm.
Hanging on the keychain is a brass key.
Hinata stares at the key. Then at Ushijima. As his vision blurs with tears, Hinata looks back down at the key. A few tears fall into his palm. Ushijima stifles a sound of alarm.
"I--" Ushijima hesitates. Shifting in his seat, Ushijima rubs the back of his neck. "I wasn't really sure how to ask you to move in. But-- I thought this might be a good way." He sets down a white bird keychain on the living room table. A matching key hangs from it. "I'm sorry." Ushijima looks at their hands. "I may have miscalculated-"
"Wakatoshi."
Ushijima looks up. He's met by the sight of Hinata's eyes shining with happy tears. And a smile so bright that Ushijima may as well be staring right at the sun.
"Thank you." Tears cascade with seemingly no end. Today, all the tears held in for a lifetime pour out. Hinata's lungs feel lighter than ever. He's soaring even without being on the court. "Oh gosh, Toshi-- Of course, I want to live with you. This-" After his awed gaze looks around the room, it drifts back to Ushijima. "This is our home?"
"Yes." Colors and shapes blur in Ushijima's sight. The man doesn't care that his voice cracks. Or how he's blinking through tears. "Our home."
Another wave of tears hits Hinata. Tears spill along with bright laughter. "I love you." In his eyes, the scintillated light sparkles. "I love you, Toshi, I love you so much-"
They draw closer until Hinata whispers those words against Ushijima's smile. Ushijima means to kiss Hinata gently. But when Hinata angles his head, and parts his lips, Ushijima's hunger breaks free. He takes Hinata's face in his hands. Hinata climbs into his partner's lap, and curls calloused fingers into soft brown hair. Tears catch at the corner of their mouths. It tastes pure and kind.
Ushijima wants nothing more than to love, to protect, to take care of this man. And with how passionately Hinata kisses back, he feels the same. When Ushijima's hand slides under his partner's shirt, Hinata gasps softly. Ushijima presses his palm over that precious heartbeat. It's strong, it's wild, it's courageous, it's everything Ushijima can ever want. Laughter follows as Hinata whispers those three words again.
Amidst breathless kisses, Ushijima whispers, "Love you too, little bird."
At the sound of that precious name, Hinata smiles into the kiss. He feels Ushijima's lips curve slowly. On the living room table, the black and white bird keychains rest beside each other. Matching keys glimmer warmly under the late afternoon sun.