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Sounds of voices. Clunks and crackles of bullet trains whizzing by. The chatter of those around them. These sounds fill the ears of two animals. Legoshi and Louis stand together behind the yellow line, waiting for the next train to come by. It's late afternoon and the weather is still cold, flowers are beginning to bloom, but patches of snow are still left behind by the previous season. Legoshi has his usual casual wear on with a light coat on top. His winter coat is starting to shed and he's already feeling uncomfortable by the excess heat. Louis on the other hand was dressed a little heavier than his carnivore friend. The deer did his best to look presentable, because, afterall, this could be the last time he could see Legoshi for very... long time. Well, that is if his plan goes right. If it doesn't then their chapter would end very soon.
Louis is no longer a teenager, he's stepped into the adult world and has begun to work as CEO for the conglomerate, all according to his father's wishes. It's not his preferred job, and he rather had finished university, but he's always been one to mature quickly. He's settled for this life. Settled. These days there's no time to frolick around and wander aimlessly anymore. Winter has passed and spring has sprung as they say. It's time for a fresh start and time to make decisions. If he wants to provide jobs for the animals that do services for him at home, he has to continue working as CEO. There's no one else to sit in his father's chair. Only Louis. There's no easy way out of life.
It's bittersweet.
Louis wished he could've continued with theatre. But dreams are called dreams for a reason, and for him, they'll stay as dreams.
These days it's hard to find jobs in the arts anyways. Animals will tell you that you'll be poor for the rest of your life, and while that's not entirely true... it's still kind of true. Maybe you won't be poor, but your job won't be stable and it would be hard to make lots of money. There will be times where you won't have work, and such a reckless life does not seem appealing to an organized deer. Still though, playing the roles of different identities, hearing his name being cheered out in the crowd... he will miss it.
Not everything about theatre though was sunshine and rainbows. Once you've acquired a reputation, that reputation becomes as fragile as glass. One wrong move and it will shatter along with your career. It's stressful to do something you love, and this reputation he has means he can't be reckless with the company anymore.
The drop in stocks was worrying, but with some management he's got them luckily back up to acceptable levels. With a young business man in charge of such a large conglomerate, he has to prove himself worthy in the adult world, which means...
He looks over to the wolf who had his hands in his jacket pockets and was looking in the direction the train would be coming from. How can this wolf go through hell and back and still be on his feet?
He inhales nervously.
It has to be today.
He does not want to drag this on for any longer. It has to be today. It has to.
"So where are we going?" Legoshi asked. His tail swung side to side happily as he stood with Louis on the platform. He looked out of place compared to the animals with heavy eye bags and blank stares around him. His happy demeanor seemed to annoy the working animals surrounding them.
"Well..." Louis can't really answer. This plan to hang out sort of came out of no where. Louis didn't have a destination in mind and using the train was an idea thought by Legoshi. Today's plans were spontaneous and out of nowhere. "We'll find out. Wherever the train will lead us."
"A more relaxing adventure sounds nice after all the stuff from before," Legoshi speaks up, looking down at the stag.
Louis folds his arms and looks up at a black and orange digital sign above him saying that the next train would arrive in five minutes. "Yeah." His hands slightly shook in anxiety, so he grabbed onto his arms trying to make them stop.
This doesn't make any sense.
How can he step onto a bloody battle field with his back sttaight yet feel tiny about being honest with Legoshi? They're friends, aren't they? Legoshi treats him like a equal and he'll support him in whatever he will do. He's more than what Louis could ever ask for already, which makes him feel unsure about the decision he'll make today. He inhales sharply, staring down his feet.
Go with the flow for now.
"So, about that record of yours and Yahya...?"
"My hands are clean thanks to him," Legoshi replied, actually showing his furry hands to the deer. "He paid me a lot of money too as an extra reward. If we're going to buy food let me cover the expenses. I have some left over from renovating the apartment complex."
"I don't care how much money you have, I can't let a minimum wage worker pay for a CEO's meal," Louis argued. What kind of person would he be if he let himself do that?
"Oh well actually I don't plan on working at the ramen place forever. I'm looking for bug keeper jobs around the area."
"Don't some of them require special qualifications?"
"Yes and no. I'm hoping to get interviews and then go on from there. It doesn't help that my pet beetle died, but... I'm trying." The carnivore puts on a nervous smile.
Louis unfolds his arms. "You've grown quite a bit since your second year."
The train pulls up to the platform with a screeching halt.
Legoshi smiles a little at Louis. "And so have you. A lot. And that change is good change."
The doors slide open and the two animals let the passengers flow out. Once the cart was empty they quickly stepped in and took some seats. The train began to move almost immediately to stay on schedule. They're rarely late around here.
"The other day Haru and Juno went dress shopping," Legoshi brqought up.
"Seriously? Those two?" Asked the stunned deer. Legoshi nods his head.
"That's what I thought. Their personalities are so different." Louis was thinking the same thing. A girly girl and a tough girl...
"You could say the same about us though," pointed out the deer.
"I guess you're right, but still, Juno posted a picture of herself and Haru on BeastBook."
"You're kidding."
Louis pulls out his phone and opens up BeastBook. There on his timeline, after scrolling down a little, was Juno and Haru, taking a mirror selfie with different dresses, both looking quite nice. They seem to be in some sort of clothing store. Haru looked more shy compared to the confident Juno.
"Shopping time!" was what the caption on the post read. It garnered quite a bit of attention, as it was a carnivore and herbivore spending time with each other.
"This doesn't feel right."
"Right?" Legoshi agreed, peering over. "They both look nice though. I'm glad they're getting along."
Their shoulders brush slightly and Louis shuts off his phone, his heart fluttering a bit. He simply nods his his head and exhales out quietly. The deer glances over to the wolf who was now looking at an advertisement in the train, a small smile on his face.
They lock eyes for a moment and Louis looks away. "I should have dressed up more, I feel out of place," Legoshi mentioned.
"Don't worry about it," Louis replied. "No need for formality."
"You always have good style, you should give me some advice you know? By the way, how do male deers put on shirts and stuff?"
Louis looks over, a little stunned. What a blunt thing to ask, usually species specific questions aren't really asked.
He's so much more different compared to Azuki.
Well of course he is. He's a wolf, he's a guy, and he's way more pleasant to be around. Not that he doesn't like Azuki it's just... With Legoshi he can be himself. At least a little bit of himself.
He starts to think more about Azuki.
"What I love is Horns Conglomerate, not you."
Louis has always known that. Everything about them, their whole relationship, was just a show to put on for everyone else. It was just done for the purpose of politics and business, nothing else. However, being left unsure, Louis stayed with her. Because he's already lost what was normal, and a bit of normal in his life was welcomed. His life was in shambles. He wanted-- no, he needed some stability, and if it was Azuki then... so be it.
Oguma's death brought a destructive tsunami into Louis's life. It destroyed everything about him, from his physical health to his mental health to even his work life. Louis had to start his life over from square one again, and he had to rebuild what the tsunami destroyed.
Azuki has no reason to stay. She's already having a secret relationship with someone else. She has everything she wants, a good family, a good business, money, and a boyfriend she loves. But she likes Louis's business as well and wants it, and so, she'll take it, just like that. She's willing to even go through marriage to get part of it. If she wants something she'll get it, and she's always been like that. Louis appreciates her honesty to herself, even if it gets in the way, like now. If he had the choice he would probably give her full ownership over the business. But it's not easy to maintain two seperate businesses at the same time.
Louis smiles at Azuki. "Of course ," he replies to her.
He does the formality of giving her a hug. In a room full of precious vases, furniture, and paintings... all of this felt strangely ironic. This is the high life that for some reason everyone wants. When the buck hugged his doe he knew this isn't what he wanted. Everything felt wrong, like trying to put a puzzle piece into a different puzzle. So many animals strive to have a life like theirs yet here he is complaining about it. Why couldn't he be like Azuki? Why can't he step over himself a little? He should be more thankful, but he can't help being selfish. This perfect life he has... he doesn't want it. Everything in Louis's life seem to have its hands around his neck. However, life won't change the way he wants unless he does something. So in the end, he's the one choking himself. He's an adult. He can decide what he wants for himself. There's no one except maybe the world telling him no. Will he risk it?
He knows what he wants.
The question lies in if he will take the steps to get it.
Legoshi waves a hand in front of the stag, confusion written all over his face. Did Louis somehow doze off? "Hello...?"
Louis snaps out of his daze, blinking and shaking his head a little. "Sorry, my apologies," His right ear twitches nervously. "What did you ask? Right, wearing shirts. Well for deers we wear them the same way as everyone else, it's just the necks are really stretchy. It's not uncommon to buy a shirt that isn't your size and for the material to rip."
Legoshi doesn't say anything so Louis continues talking. "We wear shirts according to our regular sizes, but it's not uncommon to wear a size up time to time."
The carnivore looked worried. The direct eye contact he kept making was invasive. "Are you okay?"
"We have arrived to Yuki Junction." A lady speaks on the intercom. The doors slide open and animals begin to exit, hauling their suitcases and bags over, rushing through the doors. They leave about half the amount of animals that were on the train before.
The doors are quick to close once everyone is off and the train begins to move again through a dark tunnel. Every so often, orange hues of lights would flash by their faces. It seems like daylight would never come.
Louis can feel his heart race. "I'm fine," he answered to Legoshi.
Legoshi raised an eyebrow. "You seem like you were debating that."
"No, I'm fine, seriously."
It goes quiet again. It's not long until the train is back out into the open. The sky is beginning to turn orange, slowly but surely.
"How has being CEO been?" asked the carnivore.
"It's been good," Louis replied.
At least I think it is.
Legoshi moves closer towards the deer. "What do you usually do?"
"I do whatever I need to," Louis continued.
I'm being too dismissive.
"Like during the end of the month I'll review what we've done and go through each goal that was achieved, and check in at each department. Maybe I'll answer emails here and there, but it's mostly a lot of paper work and management. And communicating."
Legoshi looked interested, which Louis doesn't understand why. What's so interesting about being a CEO? It's not that special or great as animals make it out to be. Who cares about heaps of money, women, and like five houses? Everyone just wants a piece of them because they're somehow better or greater than the average person. There's nothing attractive about doing something you don't even want to do.
"It must be a lot of pressure. One mistake could mess everything up."
"It's like that in every job. You're not expected to make any."
"I guess you're right, but speaking of, you know that thing you said about the black market?" He lowers his voice.
Louis nods.
"You still feel the same way?"
Legoshi is asking Louis his opinions.
"Yes. While as dirty and disgusting the black market was, it was a necessary evil. These fish sausages though, now apparently on the common market, seem to be fixing the issues carnivores had before."
It was a weird thing to be brought into society. But so far so good it seems. Crime rates in some areas have begun to drop, and while some animals are against it, more are for it.
"I can't bring myself to try one. Whenever I do, I think of you."
"If you want the other foot just tell me," Louis joked. But it made Legoshi uncomfortable, his ears fall flat. "Look, I'm joking" he attempted.
"I know. It's just-- I'm sorry. For putting you through that pain and then having to clean up my mess. That wasn't cool at all."
"Cleaning up your mess was annoying, everyone thought I was the one who beat up Riz. Can you believe that? Completely delusional, however, you don't have to be sorry for doing what you had to."
"We have arrived to Southbound Kyoshiki." The lady on the intercom speaks again and the doors open once more. By the time they close almost no one was on the train. It becomes more quiet.
Legoshi continued. "I took advantage of you."
"I gave you permission."
"It still wasn't right."
"It was... a bit of a selfish decision."
Legoshi's ears pick back up in confusion.
Louis leans forwards in his seat. "The number four on my foot. I wanted to get rid of it. But I also wanted you to survive. So part of the reason was still selfish yet selfless. You were a victim to your own crime. You had to pay the price and it's not fair. I basically persuaded you and I wasn't thinking of the consequences. But I mean it when I say I'm not regretful. Only regretful about the consequences you faced."
Classic Louis.
"I got what I deserved. Yeah it was unpleasant and I was regretful of what I did. But you lost your leg. I got my life back, but you can't just grow a new foot."
"I never wanted it anyways. Sometimes having the prosthetic gets me out of sticky business situations. If animals are going to pity me may as well take advantage."
It's called making the most out of your situation.
It goes silent for about a second. They stare at each other.
"You're so mean."
They both burst out laughing. And their laughter echos and echos and the guests on the train get annoyed at their happiness and move away from the weird pair laughing about God knows what. But for a moment nothing matters, and to Louis only Legoshi was the only animal to ever exist in the world.
When the laughing dies down, Legoshi wipes a tear from his eye and smiles. An orange hue engulfs them both and makes their fur glow. Looking at Legoshi, Louis thought he looked beautiful.
"I haven't heard you laugh before like that. I think it sounds nice and you should do it more often," The carnivore encouraged. Louis face goes red, but he plays around and tests the waters.
"Wow way to make things awkward as hell."
And they laugh more like a bunch of fools.
"Ugh close your mouth your breath stinks," Louis complained with a smile on his face. Legoshi quickly closed his mouth. "Sorry." The smile is quick to fade away from Louis's face.
They pass through another tunnel. It becomes dark once more with flashes of orange whizzing by every now and then.
"Legoshi. I have to tell you something."
The cart rocks and creeks against the rails.
The sudden change in atmosphere makes Legoshi drop his smile as well. "Hey, why so serious now?"
"I won't be able to spend time with you anymore after this day I think."
Silence. Legoshi puts on an awkward smile. This has to be another joke right? Way too sudden, Louis only recently started working and changing his life up. Shouldn't it be back to relatively normal by now? So... why... "Why?"
They return back to the light where the sky begins to turn into darker shades of lavender. The warmth of the sun complimented the red deer's fur so nicely, that he almost looked like an angel that fell from heaven.
It's moments like these where Legoshi is reminded about how far Louis is compared to him. He'll always be two steps ahead. When does this man ever live? Does he ever get to live? With a such a twisted past and an uncertain future... the answer is probably no. And it made the wolf sad, because he wanted to help. But how? And... is he really being serious? Like really?
"I... I'm having trouble balancing life and work. My father's passing left a mess. I'm still struggling to keep up with the workload. Even being on this train with you is causing work to pile up. I can't frolick around anymore. I'm an adult now.
To Louis it was half excuses. Yes he's busy, but if he tries he can make time. However putting things this way makes things easier to run away from if his plan goes south. He's gotta set the scene and continue with it if things go bad. A little improv won't do anyone harm.
"Being an adult doesn't mean you can't have time for other animals... does it?" If so, Legoshi never wants to grow up. He may be a lone wolf, but he likes having a pack, having friends and spending time with them. Never has the adult world look so... isolating.
"I'm in a different situation. I'm not like the average animal. Animals my age are in university, drinking, fooling around and living life for just a little bit until they get their degrees... I'm not like them. And to be honest I never was." Louis puts on an awkward smile and shrugs his shoulders.
Legoshi's ears drop.
"There's nothing great or amazing about being a busy CEO. But it's what I've settled for. I'm... sorry."
"Settled for"? "Sorry"?
Legoshi never wants to hear Louis sorry. He rarely says he is, he's never regretful or sorry about the decisions he makes in life. So why now? There's nothing to be sorry for, life just keeps going and so do the animals in this world.
"I understand," The wolf began. "Life is like that and that's not anything to be sorry for. I hope the decisions you made though aren't ones you regret."
Louis smiles awkwardly. "Well..."
"Hello, this is the last stop for the night. We hope you had a good trip. Trains will be up and running at six am."
"Let's get off," Louis suggested. Legoshi nods and the two leave their seats and wait for the doors to open. The train station is practically empty when they get off, which makes Louis uncomfortable. Sounds of footsteps echo away into silence from the remaining passengers leaving. It's almost surreal and creepy. Train stations are almost never empty in Japan.
"Let's stand outside, I don't like it here," Louis spoke up.
They take the stairs out the station and stand outside in the cold air. It's almost dark now and the street lights are flickering on. Neither of them were familiar with the place they were in. Barely any animals walked on the musty looking streets and the areas around them looked ancient. Seems like they ended up in a shady part of town. Louis wouldn't be surprised if he saw a guy stick a needle in his arm. Legoshi's hair seemed to fluff up, and Louis isn't sure if it's because of the cold or because he feels uncomfortable.
"I don't like any of this," Louis said, putting his cold hands into his pockets. He looks at the ground frustrated. It almost looked like he was in pain.
Hesitantly, Legoshi puts his arm around Louis's shoulder and pulls him into his side. The wolf's fur and warmth was comforting to the hurting deer.
"Legoshi?"
"Mm?"
"... will you let me do something abnormal? Maybe something weird or strange?"
"What do you mean?"
"Just close your eyes."
The wolf shuts his eyes. He feels the cold wind pass by, and then hands on his shoulders. His ears move around in confusion as the hands continue to move around his body, from his shoulders to his arms, back up to his shoulders and then his hips.
Louis starts sweating and his heart beings to race. He himself feels confused as well.
He's tall, should I go on my tip toes?
He does to test the distance.
Yeah this is better. Should've worn heeled shoes.
Louis puts his hands back on Legoshi's shoulders and counted to himself. This was it. Now or never.
One... two... three!
The gap closes, and their lips collide, a little messily that is. Louis kept his eyes closed while Legoshi's shot open. The gears in his head started turning, and then, they all clicked in place.
Oh.
Oh.
Louis doesn't pull away, he's grabbing onto Legoshi's shoulders aggressively, just hoping. Hoping that maybe he won't regret this. Hoping that if things go bad Legoshi will forget this ever happened. Hoping that their chapter of the story won't end where it is.
Kiss back.
Please.
Do it, just kiss back, he secretly prayed.
But the action was never returned and Louis finally pulled away, feeling humiliated by himself. Legoshi's eyes were wide open, and Louis got off his tip toes and stepped back, arms going limp at his sides.
Neither of them speak and nervously Louis plays with the sleeve of his jacket. He keeps a straight face on, but doesn't make any eye contact.
Should I apologize? Leave? Pretend nothing happened?
"Hey uh..." Louis mouth opens to speak, but little words of significance come out. They're all jumbled and stuck in his throat, choking him from the inside.
Think of something you stupid animal!
"I didn't know you were into men," Legoshi said.
"Is that seriously all you have to say?" Louis asked in annoyance.
"Oh um, sorry, no, no, I... haha..." Legoshi looks for the right words to look for. "Why... well... I can't."
Louis ears slightly lower, but it was the answer he was expecting. "Right. Yeah... yeah." The deer exhales. "Haru... right?'
"No. There's no Haru in the picture. I-- well-- I feel the same way don't get me wrong, it's just... your fiancée... and... your reputation. I don't think it's a good idea where we stand. At least for you."
This makes Louis angry. "At least for you?" Is Legoshi going around and making decisions for him? He already knows what he's getting into. He's fully prepared. Sort of. He hadn't thought that far, but be knows what he wants. He knows what he wants.
"And plus, didn't you say you were well... too busy?"
"Forget anything I said today--" Louis grabs the sleeves of Legoshi's jackets, looking up at him "--forget about my job, forget about my fiancée, I don't care. I'll fix things I'll make time, I just... this is what I want." Louis looks Legoshi in the eyes. "I want you."
Legoshi feels embarrassed and his face goes red. "But--"
Louis grabs both of Legoshi's hands, holding them tight. "Don't you tell me what to do. I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm getting into. I know I'm being selfish and a cheater technically, but I'll fix it. If it makes you feel better the marriage is purely political and my fiancée doesn't even like me, she only likes that I'm a CEO to a big company."
Legoshi blinks. "What? Seriously?"
Is this a scandal he hasn't heard of?
"Yeah, and she's been cheating on me for two years already and is just keeping it out of the public."
"For real?" The wolf's eyes go wide.
"Yes!" Louis continued. "Why would I lie about this? So will you? Will you be with me or no? Because if you don't want to then..." he lets go of Legoshi's hands. "It's fine."
"You want this and you're sure right?"
"Yes."
"And you think you can sort things out?"
"Yes."
"And you're fully prepared for what may happen to you in the future?"
"For fucks sake, yes!!"
"If you're so sure then kiss me," Legoshi replied, furrowing his eyebrows. "I'll decide--"
Legoshi couldn't finish his sentence before Louis's lips were on his. This time he kissed back and the feeling of it was much better. They leaned into each other, kissing passionately, Legoshi bending over a little so that Louis wouldn't have to stay on his tip toes. His tail wagged frantically out of happiness and he held onto Louis hips carefully. The deer hung his arms loosely around the wolf's neck. This is what he wanted. This is what he dreamed of, he had hoped for.
This whole thing was the worse idea in the world, in fact, if Louis was sane he probably would've left then and there. Things are going to get messy, and there's going to be a lot of hurdles to jump over and walls to break through, but it was fine. They'll figure things out along the way. Louis was always one to be a risk taker, and so was Legoshi. They'll figure things out.
The two pull away, breathing heavily. Louis was tempted to just shove his face right into his again, but showed some self restraint.
"This could end in shambles you know," Legoshi said. "And I mean like, what if I eat you in my sleep?"
"Seriously?"
"Or what if we get into a scandal? And your business is ruined?"
"That's something for future me to deal with," Louis replied.
"How are you going to tell your soon to be wife?"
Louis chuckles to himself and pats the carnivore's shoulder. "We'll figure things out."
They'll figure things out.