Chapter Text
The checkered, red and green coat was enough for Ben to know that it was her, but her brown hair tangled in the soft wool of her scarf nearly took his breath away.
It had been a long 6 years since Ben had seen Rey, yet when he took in her appearance it had only seemed like yesterday since he hugged her goodbye as she left the small town they resided in to pursue bigger things. Since then, he’d only really seen her face on screens and posters, and yet they both knew it was exactly where she was meant to be. Her Hollywood lifestyle was no secret. She went to premieres and parties with all kinds of eccentric people that she never would have met had she stayed in the quaint little town he still called home. She’d never visited, but then again, why would she come back if she had everything she needed?
That’s exactly why Ben was so confused when he looked up to see her opening the door and stepping into his bookshop.
She looked at him and smiled and it was as if nothing had ever changed between them. She had an energy that could transform an entire room, and suddenly it made so much sense that she gravitated towards acting. She could capture anyones’ attention, especially Ben’s, by simply smiling at them. She walked towards him as he gawked at her, and he abruptly stood up from his chair.
“Hi.” She spoke softly, almost as if she was nervous she’d scare him off.
“Rey.” Ben said in wonder, a ghost of a smile on his face as he processed her standing right in front of him. Neither of them said anything for a few seconds, until Ben broke the silence.
“What can I help you with?” He asked, awkwardly tapping his fingers on the counter.
Her smile faltered a little, but if Ben had noticed the shift in her expression, he didn’t mention it. “Actually, I was hoping you could help me find some books?” She responded hopefully.
“Of course, what were you looking for?”
“Nothing in particular, I was in the mood for some sci-fi actually.” He knew for a fact that it was her favorite book genre. They’d read all the same stories growing up, from eerie novels about extraterrestrial life to nine book saga’s about the dark side and the light.
Ben stepped away from the counter and started walking to the science fiction section, Rey timidly following behind him. Once they were in the isle, Ben started filing through books he thought she might like. There had once been a time where they could have spent hours discussing their favorite books, playing pretend as if they were the main characters.
“It’s been a while.” He said, hiding his face from view, nervous that if he turned to her his feelings would betray him.
“I know.” Ben couldn’t tell if she sounded nervous or guilty. It might have been a combination of both.
“What made you decide to come back?” He asked, albeit a little desperately.
“I missed you.” She sighed. “To be fair, I missed being here, and I had to clear my head for a while.”
Ben had been dreaming of this moment since she left. It was romantic, the idea that he’d hoped she had thought of him while she was living her dreams. He wished her all the best, but deep inside he wished that she had stayed so that he could have a glimpse of what things could have been like. He knew it was selfish, but it was the truth.
He stopped looking for books for a moment and finally turned to look her in the eyes. She looked like she wanted to say more, but he let it go.
“Well, it’s good to see you.” He smiled softly and picked up a few books, handing them to her. “This one is on the scary side, that one is about humans colonising the moon, and this one is a space romance.” She laughed lightly. “You don’t have to take them, but those are the ones I figured you’d like.” He said nervously.
“I’ll take them all, I trust your judgement.” She gently took the books from his hands, her fingers delicately brushing over his. Her hands lingered, and he was the one to move away towards the counter.
Rey watched as Ben checked out the books, and she handed over her money, still looking at him.
“Are you free later?” She rushed to get the words out and he looked up at her, surprised.
“I close at 6 today.” He pushed the books toward her and watched silently as she placed them in her bag.
She grinned. “I’ll come back at 6 then.”
And with that, she left Ben, who was feeling a sense of familiarity and warmth he hadn’t felt in years, standing alone suddenly wishing that time would move a little faster.
Ben had never wanted to close the bookshop more than he did in that moment. He anxiously waited for the clock to strike 6 as he readied himself for locking up. He didn’t know what he had expected to come out of the day, but reuniting with his childhood best friend and the girl he was in love with was not one of them. When she stepped into the shop it was as if time stopped. Her chestnut hair framed her face perfectly, and it was as if she hadn’t changed at all. He had seen pictures of her at events wearing glamourous gowns and jewels, and couldn’t help but think of how strange it was to see her standing in front of him in normal clothes, looking cosy and almost like she’d never left.
True to her word, Rey was standing outside when Ben locked up the shop, her hands tucked into her pockets in an attempt to keep warm.
“Hey.” He waved at her.
“Hi again.” She sounded more unsure of herself than she did in the shop.
“Follow me.” He said and started walking, much like he did earlier in the day. “We’ll freeze out here.” She matched his pace and they walked in silence.
“Do you still live in the same apartment?” She asked, a hint of curiosity in her voice. The town had largely remained the same in the time she was away, but Ben had grown taller and stronger, and she wondered if things had changed for him too.
“Of course, I moved in right before you left.” He huffed. “I love that place, even though it’s a 5 minute walk from my parent’s house.” She laughed. “Besides, that’s where we’re going.” He said.
Rey had been to Ben’s apartment several times before she moved away, to the point where Ben was almost tempted to suggest that they should just be roommates. He knew that she hated being alone, and they had spent the majority of their time together anyway.
Once they got to his apartment, they hung their coats up and went to the kitchen, Ben insisting that he’d put on some tea. Rey stood by the door as he lifted mugs out from the cupboard.
“Your place is exactly how I remember it.” She laughed, the beautiful sound filling the room.
“Well, I’m sure it’s nothing compared to your mansion.” He said, meaning it as a joke, but clearly it had rubbed her the wrong way.
“It’s not a mansion, and it’s actually pretty lonely.” She explained nervously. “It’s a lot of space for just one person.”
“What about all those celebrity friends of yours?” He pushed.
She looked at him and her face fell.
“Ben Solo, have you been reading about me?” She crossed her arms and waited for an explanation. Ben set two mugs down on the kitchen counter. His kitchen was large enough for them to be distance between them, but he still felt too close.
“It’s hard not to when you’re the most famous person in this town.” He said. “And you never contacted me, so I had to find some way of knowing how you were doing.” He turned around and flicked the kettle on, letting silence fill the room once more. When Rey spoke again it was barely a whisper.
“I didn’t contact you because I was afraid.”
“Of what?” He said, exasperated.
“If I kept in touch with you then I wouldn’t have been able to stay there and see things through, it would have been too hard to keep going.” She whispered. He understood where she was coming from.
“A hello would have been nice, Rey.”
“I know, I’m sorry.” She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. “I really missed you.” He sighed and stepped towards her, wrapping his arms around her. “I really missed you too.” He said, his face in her hair.
Rey held onto Ben, her small frame enveloped in his embrace. Neither of them wanted to let go, but the sound of the kettle boiling forced Ben to move.
“For the record, I’m really proud of you.” He stated, busying himself with the tea.
“Really?” Rey’s eyes filled with hope. Rey had gotten used to being on the receiving end of praise, but whether it be her friends, fans or colleagues, she had never been able to fully believe them. But Ben was different, and she knew that anything he said to her, he meant.
“Of course, you did it!” He smiled. “You’re an actress, and a great one too.” Picked up the two mugs and smiled at her, making his way to his couch. “You never gave up.”
Rey sat down next to him and took one of the mugs. It was filled to the brim with hot tea, and she was grateful for the warmth it brought to her shaking hands.
“I always thought you were angry with me when I left.” Ben felt a sudden urge to hold her again and tell her that it was okay, but he stopped himself before he could.
“I was, but I’m not anymore.” He reassured her. “You deserve all the success in the world.”
“Thank you, Ben.” She smiled softly and sipped on her tea.
They sat in a comfortable silence, drinking their tea in Ben’s low lit living room. Ben wished he could tell her everything; how he felt about her, how he wished she didn’t have to leave again. But he knew it wasn’t that simple, so he asked the only question he could think of.
“Do you ever think of me?”
“What?” Rey glanced at him, confused by his question.
“When you’re off living your dreams, making movies and going out to parties with all your new friends, do you ever think of me?” He asked again.
Rey set her mug down on his small coffee table and looked at him.
“Of course I do, Ben.” She said. “What kind of question is that?”
Ben stayed silent, and Rey took this as her opportunity to continue.
“I love what I do. I’ve met some great people, and I’ve done some pretty amazing things.” She explained. “But it’s also really hard to be yourself in front of people who think they really know you when they don’t, and you are the only person who really knows who I am.”
“I am?”
“Yes!” Rey laughed at his confusion. “This town is exactly the same as it was when I left, and the only reason came back here was to see you.”
“Oh.” Ben breathed out a sigh of relief.
Before Ben could say anything more, he felt her lips press against his, and he gasped in surprise. Seconds passed and Rey moved away just as quickly as she had kissed him.
“I’m sorry.” Rey looked panicked, and Ben was quick to make it known that she had no reason to be. He grabbed her hand and looked at her shyly.
“I wanted to do that before you left all those years ago, but I guess you beat me to it.” He said, his voice uneven. Rey felt herself relax, the panic fading for now. She leant towards him again and sighed as they kissed once again. Her lips were soft and the kiss was quick, but it was enough.
“I think a lot about what things could have been like if I hadn’t moved away.” She whispered.
Ben wrapped an arm around her shoulders, gently pulling her close to him, and whispered just as softly. “Me too.”