Chapter Text
Shuuichi.
Shuuichi, Shuuichi, Shuuichi—his name is sweet and smooth like butter candy. It's addicting! The attention he gets, the reactions he receives, the occasional witty comment or two.
He loves lying around him. He loves being around him.
Shuuichi is addicting.
Call him creepy, call him crazy but Kokichi doesn't mind it all.
Perhaps if this were a killing game, he'd berate himself until his death—but it isn't.
Perhaps if he knew he was in love, he'd try to force himself to tear up his emotions—but he doesn't.
To Kokichi, he just finds Shuuichi entertaining. Interesting. Intriguing.
To Shuuichi, well, he doesn't even have a clue what's going on.
He's smart but he's dense. He can't tell when others are interested in him, and that's fine!
It works perfectly in this case.
"Ignorance is bliss, Shumai," Kokichi would say. "Some things are better left unsaid. Untold."
He'd always mention it casually and humourously. It often contradicts previous tales he's stated.
Does it matter if it all adds up? Of course not! Because Shuuichi is fun to talk to. He's lying for lying's sake.
Because Shuuichi is oblivious.
[And so is he.]
It's an ongoing chase.
"What does Kokichi truly mean?" Shuuichi would ponder.
"What does Shuuichi really want?" Kokichi would question. Question as he doodles on the whiteboard in his dormitory, erasing and scribbling new words under his frame.
Nosy, quick-witted, entertaining.
It all doesn't sound... Right.
So all that's there is a black question mark under Shuuichi's portrait.
With each new "date", Kokichi knows more and more.
With each new interaction, Shuuichi starts catching on
He likes his jokes.
He likes his jokes?
He likes his jests! And Shuuichi starts laughing a bit more each day.
It's frustrating.
He sounds at peace.
He sounds content.
"You sure are something, Kokichi."
He sounds... Happy.
Kokichi's eyes begin to sting. His heart pangs a little more.
.
Why does it... Hurt?
Maybe Kokichi won't stay oblivious any longer.
He likes seeing Shuuichi smile.
It's soft, it's kind, it's... Nice.
He likes seeing Shuuichi happy with his dumb smile.
It's cute.
Shuuichi is cute.
It's surprisingly hard to admit, but he's cute.
He wants to know him more,
And so he splurges on another few date tickets just for Shuuichi.
With each new date, Shuuichi knows more and more.
With each new interaction, Kokichi starts catching on.
He's nice.
He's kind.
Kokichi's worries are a little bit lesser because he listens.
Kokichi would almost consider him as... Trustworthy.
He feels safe when he sees that smile.
He feels his heart warm up when Shuuichi tells him to continue.
He feels cared for.
He'd say he feels at home but be doesn't even know what "home" is.
He'd say he feels loved but he doesn't even know if Shuuichi feels that way.
It's funny, he might have dug himself a hole too deep.
Because he thinks he loves Shuuichi.
It's hard to say, it's hard to feel, it's hard to admit.
But maybe he loves him.
Maybe he cares about him.
Maybe he thinks of him as "trustworthy".
He hates it.
He hates himself.
He hates Shuuichi for making him feel this way.
But maybe he can hate himself a little less when Shuuichi tells him it's ok.
Maybe he can hate the feeling a little less when Shuuichi has him in his arms.
Maybe he can hate Shuuichi a little less when he says he loves him back.