Chapter Text
Kars felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Quite a few times actually. He knew full well that the group chat he and his “friends” are in is getting spammed with messages, undoubtedly some stupid argument he didn’t care at all for. Dio definitely started the whole thing. Starting petty fights seemed to be a hobby of his. Kars pulled out his phone to see what the hell was going on with the others.
Dia: DO NOT CALL MY HAIR GREASY AGAIN
Dia: FUCK YOU
Annoying bitch: but it’s true lmaooo
Annoying bitch: mf u got lice don’t you
Dia: Bitch your kids have mismatched moms don’t they??
Annoying bitch: leave my lil bastards out of this
Kira: Could you two do this some other time? I’m driving.
Annoying bitch: no ❤️
Dia: Focus on the fucking road
Kars put his phone on "Do Not Disturb" and shoved it back into his pocket. He had barely said anything in that group chat, nor did he respond to the questions someone asked. The only exception would be Kira. At least he acts normal. Mostly. Dio had exposed his… interest in hands several months ago and he wasn’t too happy. Seems like Kira wasn’t as normal as he thought he was. But whoever Dio is.. friends with, they’re weird in some kind of way.
He stood in front of the multiple bottles of wine, trying to decide which ones to get. Dio and Diavolo were rather picky. Kira, however, didn’t care as long as it wasn’t too cheap. Pucci usually just had whatever Dio’s having.
His eyes lingered on Barbera and Corvina. Both were Italian wines. He glanced between the two bottles and hummed. Should he go with Barbera, or would Corvina be a better choice? Well, does it matter? As long as Dio and Diavolo don’t complain too much about it.
...but which one should he get?
“Fuck it,” Kars muttered before grabbing both bottles and putting them in his cart. He’s always the one buying the wine. Nobody else bothers getting their own.
Soft pattering came from behind him. Kars didn’t care for it until he felt something tug on his pants. He glanced down and saw a familiar face.
Giorno. One of Dio’s kids. What the hell was he doing here?
“M-Mister Kars…” The young boy seemed to be almost on the verge of tears. “I’m lost… can I be with you?”
A quiet sigh left his lips as he nodded, lifting Giorno up and letting him sit on his shoulder. Kars felt his little hands hold onto the top of his head. He pulled out his phone to text Dio.
Kars: Why the fuck is your kid lost at the grocery store?
Annoying bitch: the babysitter was supposed to be watching him wtf
Annoying bitch: it’s just him?
Kars: Yeah, who’s his babysitter?
Annoying bitch: idk lmao
Annoying bitch: dia knows him tho
Annoying bitch: go ask him
He sighed again before messaging Diavolo.
Kars: Who’s the person babysitting Dio’s kids?
Dia: Bruno
Dia: One of my workers is friends with the guy. He’s good with kids so I leave Trish with him Doppio and I are busy
Kars: Is she with him right now?
Dia: She should be
Kars: So he’s looking after five kids? Good grief
Dia: Eight actually
Kars: Are you fucking serious?
Dia: Yeah, he has three of his own kids
Dia: They’re adopted
Kars: Someone better give this man a fucking break
At least Diavolo has one kid. She was pretty well behaved, a bit shy like Giorno but spoiled too. The rest of Dio’s kids however… they’re not entirely pleasant. Whoever Bruno was, he certainly is in an unfortunate situation.
Kars: What does Bruno look like?
Dia: Are you trying to get with him?
Kars: Hell no
Kars: Giorno’s with me right now. He got separated from him
Dia: Just look for a man with a bunch of kids that look nothing like him
How helpful.
Kars looked around, not seeing Trish nor any of Giorno’s siblings, so he kept walking. Giorno seemed to be calmer now that he’s with someone he knows. He and the boy got along pretty fine. It’s obvious Giorno adores nature, so they have something in common.
He didn’t run into Bruno, but he did run into someone else.
The man had matte lavender lipstick and a bit of mascara. It was smeared, like he didn’t properly wipe it off and there was still some left on his eyelashes. Just by looking at him, Kars could tell this man had already given up on life. He couldn’t blame him.
“Can I help you?” Kars asked boredly. The stranger pointed at Giorno.
“Why do you have that kid?” It felt as if this man was interrogating him; but they just met.
“He came to me.”
“He’s not your kid.”
“He isn’t yours either.”
They both frowned at each other. Giorno could’ve spoken up, but he didn’t. The boy remained silent as he looked at the two adults.
“Look, I’m supposed to be babysitting that kid,” The man said.
Kars raised an eyebrow and asked, “You’re Bruno?”
The other shook his head. “No, I’m just helping him.”
As if on cue, Bruno appeared with a group of noisy children following him. Kars recognized most of them. The other three must’ve been his adopted kids.
“Leone, did you find Giorno?” Bruno questioned before making eye contact with Kars. Giorno waved at the man. “Oh! It seems like you did.”
A kind smile appeared as he outstretched his hand. “I’m Bruno, the man with me is Leone, and you must be..?”
“Kars,” He answered, shaking the man’s hand before putting Giorno down.
“I apologize if GioGio caused some trouble. As you can see, I have several other children to look after-'' Bruno was cut off.
“Because Dio and Diavolo are making you babysit for their kids, I know,” Both Bruno and Leone looked caught off guard.
“How the hell did you know that?” The long-haired man growled, practically glaring at Kars.
He sighed. “I, unfortunately, know the two. And I just texted them a few minutes ago after finding Giorno.”
“I see,” Bruno replied. “Well, it’s a good thing you found him! I think we should exchange phone numbers-”
“That won’t be necessary.”
Kars turned away, pulling the cart with him.
“I don’t have time for this,” He said, Bruno tried to stop him, only to be ignored. He didn’t want to waste anymore time at the store.
“Bye-bye, Mister Kars!” Giorno called out and waved farewell, the rest of his siblings did the same.
~~~
Annoying bitch: KARS
Annoying bitch: did u get the wine
Kars: Yes
Annoying bitch: fuck yeah
Annoying bitch: so are we coming over or what
Annoying bitch: btw pucci said he’s busy
Kira: Right now?
Kars: Yes right now
Kars: You guys have ten minutes to come over
Kira: Okay.
Dia: I’M NOT EVEN FUCKING READY
Annoying bitch: aight bet
Kars: Diavolo I don’t care about whether or not you’re ready just come over
Dia: Asshole
Kira came by a few minutes early, while Dio surprisingly showed up on time. Diavolo was about a minute late. He looked like an actual disaster. His hair was a mess, you can clearly see his freckles as well as his eye bags, and he wasn’t wearing his usual shade of magenta lipstick. Dio snickered and pointed at him.
“I didn’t think you’d show up like this ,” The blond smirked.
Diavolo quickly snapped at him. “Shut up! I didn’t have any fucking time to get ready!”
Kars let out a huff as he walked into the kitchen to get the wine glasses. He better get those idiots their drinks before they start a fight. The last thing he needs is the neighbors calling the cops on him because two of his friends decide to yell at each other.
He gave Kira the first glass. The Japanese man muttered a “thank you.” Kars gave Dio the second glass and kept the third one to himself. Diavolo received the fourth glass and he instantly poured himself a full glass of Corvina. He was practically chugging his drink.
“You might as well have the whole bottle..” Kars grumbled before pouring himself wine.
A smirk appeared on Dio’s lips. He leaned back into the couch and asked, “So… you returned my son to Bruno, right?” Kars glared at the British man, already knowing where the conversation was going.
“I did. Why are you asking?” He mentally prepared himself for whatever Dio was about to say.
“Did you think he was hot?”
Kars groaned, rolling his eyes. Dio laughed at his reaction.
“Come on, didn’t you find him just a bit attractive? I think you’ve been single for a little too long, Kars. Lower your standards and think about it,” He said. “You like kids, right? It’s pretty much a perfect match. Wamuu must be so sad being the only child!”
“I’ll get into a relationship when I want to. Esidisi is the one who adores children, not me. And Wamuu is perfectly fine, he has Santana.” Kars scowled at Dio.
He sipped his wine before saying, “That may be true, but he should interact with children his own age. Isn’t Bruno’s kids near the same age as Wamuu?”
Diavolo set his glass down, trying to remember who Bruno’s kids were. Leone brought it up before..
“..I think he has a brat that’s nine years old. Wammu’s ten, right?” The Italian man glanced at Kars.
He was quiet, thinking about how his son would feel if he was introduced to Bruno and his kids, then how’d he react if he was told they’re a part of the family now. Would he be happy? Or would he get upset? The kid practically spent most of his life being an only child. Kars didn’t know if Wamuu would welcome change or reject it.
“Thinking about your boy, right?” Dio hummed, the corner of his mouth curled up into a small smirk. “You don’t need his permission to date someone. He’s not your father, he’s your ten year old son.”
Letting out a soft huff, Kars placed his drink down and said, “I just want to keep him happy.”
“We know,” Diavolo said. “And he is. You’re doing a good job at being a parent, better than Dio.”
Dio sent a glare at him while Kira nodded. “I agree. You’re overthinking this, Kars.”
He stared at the others, then down at his wine glass. He continued to ponder for a while. It was about time he got into a relationship. It’s been quite some time.
“Fuck this boring shit, I want to get wasted!” Dio grinned, raising his glass in the air, which earned a disappointed sigh from the others. He let out what was pretty much a villainous cackle.
Kars lifted up his glass and brought it to his lips, ignoring the words that came out of the British man’s mouth. He continued to ponder if he should even be in a relationship. He’s perfectly fine on his own. Perhaps he should get himself a different group of friends, or simply remove Dio from his friend group entirely and replace him with someone more normal. Then again, it would disappoint Wamuu if he finds out that he would no longer be able to spend time with Dio’s children. Besides, the only person making sure Dio is a somewhat good father was him. Diavolo didn’t give a damn about Dio’s parenting skills while Kira was… pretty much inexperienced with kids. Kars was sure he hated kids anyway. Pucci could only do so much. Whoever the rest of Dio’s friends were clearly didn’t care what he did.
Unfortunately, Dio had moved closer to Kars, leaning a bit too much on him. The blond man smirked and said, “what if we kissed in your house and we were both drunk?” to which Kars replied with “what if I punched you and I was completely sober?”
Maybe he should get rid of Dio.