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Sunshower is a sign of happiness for everyone on Earth. It symbolizes hope, that there’s still a light in the midst of pouring rain. It was also believed that there’s a wedding happening between heavenly bodies and is a sign of goodluck... or so they thought. Because for people like Win, this phenomenon is an indication of an end. This shows that a Kitsune like him could never have the happiness he—everyone deserves. Because for their kind, sunshower indicates that one of them ascended in sadness, again.
They should be happy because after years of years of waiting, they can finally be at peace but how can it be possible if the only way for this to happen is to finally find true love, whether it is romantic, platonic or familial. That’s the reason Win is detached from the world; to prevent future heartaches. He would choose to live his life peacefully and blandly, rather than to feel tons of emotions and die at the end.
Until he met Bright
-
It was a cold December night, a few days after Christmas or whatever holiday it is when he decided to drink alone. He wants to drink though he knows it won’t affect him. He just wants loud noises from drunk strangers to distract him. He wants to at least pretend that he’s like every other person around.
On the way to his table, he saw familiar faces dancing like there’s no tomorrow, bodies closer than it should be. Gun and Off, he murmured. Those two are like him, a Kitsune. They’ve been together for about a year but they are still here alive, and Win thought that maybe their love isn’t enough.
He met a lot of his kind and they ascended earlier than him, finding true love. One of the most recent was his fellow, Tay. Tay was just a couple of decades older than him and he is the closest to what they call a friend. Tay was a special case. He died alone and happy. He died without carrying a baggage. He found true love within himself.
Win was sitting by himself when he heard loud noises from the other table. He’s suddenly annoyed about how carefree they are, getting drunk until they pass out and regret anything tomorrow. At least they’re happy. He felt his insides churned. He drank straight from the bottle, only tasting bitterness from his own emotions.
“Woah!” A voice distracted his thoughts. He glanced at the person who owned the voice and saw that it was the man from the other table. It’s the loudest of their flock, who keeps giving drinks to his friends who obviously can’t take any more alcohol in their bodies. He is almost invisible as he wore an outfit similar to the dark interior of the bar but his face glowed amidst the darkness and his eyes, so so expressive.
“How can you drink a whole bottle in one shot? Are you even a human?” Win suddenly flinched at the man’s last remark. Of course not, dimwit. The drunk man invited himself to Win's table. Win, getting annoyed, ignored the other person and continued drinking.
“I’m Bright! You should join us. It feels lonely to be alone, yeah?” Bright’s eyes were inviting, captivating even. It almost looked godlike and Win is almost unable to break eye contact. He just ignored the other, muttering a small “no thanks” and left. Win doesn’t want a company. He decided to spend the rest of the night at the convenience store near the bar.
It’s 2 am and Win is alone, drinking whatever beer he grabbed and eating chips that are too salty for his liking, looking at the scenery— drunk people attempting to walk properly.
“Dude, we’re almost home come on!” A familiar voice grunt in frustration as he helped his two friends who are close to passing out. The man sighed and dragged his friends inside the convenience store. At his best luck, they got stuck at the door, unable to enter. Panic evident in the man’s eyes and Win finds it funny and cute. Win snickered and his eyes met the other’s, pleading to help him and maybe Win gave up to those eyes and the rest was history.
-
Few more unexpected encounters and it is 2 am again and Win is alone, no beer in hands and maybe waiting for the man named Bright and maybe the latter is also waiting for him. Win didn’t want to get close to people but maybe after seeing Off and Gun that night, he wants to finally live or at least attempt.
It is half past 3 in the morning and maybe they are still sitting there, talking about whatever topic they can think of. And maybe they spent their night with bottles of instant coffees and cinnamon rolls accompanied by casual late night or early morning talks. And maybe, Win let Bright enter his life as he taught Win the basics of living and maybe Win also told Bright about himself.
-
It is 3 pm when they decided to meet again, golden hues of sun peeping through the glass windows. Win arrived earlier than Bright and he saw Off and Gun. They exchanged greetings and he had an urge to ask them. “How are you two still alive?” He doesn’t want it to be displeasing but he couldn’t think of any more words. “Maybe we’re just lucky? Or maybe it is really possible between Kitsunes” Win just nodded, still puzzled but he’s happy for them. “Our life is full of uncertainties but whatever it is, we’re happy, aren’t we? And that’s what's important for now.” They left at the same time Bright entered the store and Win saw beauty.
The sunset made Bright glow in beauty. The golden rays covering his skin, reflecting his hazel eyes and outlining his face, his nose, his jawline and his curves, his imperfections, all of him. At that moment, Win knew he was doomed and maybe his time was already limited.
And Bright, the moment he stepped into the store he saw Win’s eyes. He saw light, he saw love, he saw life. He can’t pinpoint it but something changed with Win’s face. It glowed together with the sun.
Bright didn’t fail to tell Win how he meant for him and how Bright is willing to stay by his side, no matter what the other is feeling and with that, Win knows he is loved whether it is reciprocated or not and he is lucky Bright didn’t push himself into Win’s life but what really is life for Win? Is it like the night, loud and drunk? Is it his home, warm and cozy? Is it like the morning, fresh and vivid? Or is it the afternoon, golden and melancholic?
Win realized that Bright, he is life. Bright is the night, loud and sometimes drunk. He is the morning, bright and refreshing and he is also the golden hour, tranquil and cozy. Bright feels like home. He is a warm bath on a cold night. He is the sun in the middle of winter. Bright is his life and his home and maybe, Win is willing to take the risk of dying just to feel the warmth that Bright gives.
Win smiled at the latter and within those smiles, without uttering words, they knew. Bright knew something shifted and he can never be more happy. They spent the rest of the day just like the other days but there’s an obvious change like the not-so-subtle touches and the not-so-stolen glances or maybe the lingering stares or the smiles on their faces that stayed a few seconds longer than it should be. But life, how many decades or centuries it might be, is short.
-
Win woke up on a cold rainy morning, it was unusual because the sun is peeking through the heavy gray clouds enveloping the whole sky. It was unusual to see double rainbows and it was unusual to see a sun amidst the thunderstorm but it all made sense to him, it was Gun and Off.
And Win knew, it is also the end of his life and just like any other, he’s scared. So he told Bright. But Bright pleaded.
“Please, at least let me love you… or at least let me see you.. Let me be with you.”
Win is scared for his life. Win is scared that his life might be sad for the rest of his life. Win is scared that his life will be cold, alone. And he wants to live for his life. It’s ironic how they spent years breathing and die when they finally learned how to live.
But life, it is also a risk and life is worth every risk. It might be too early but Win felt he already risked even without knowing and he knew he truly, madly, deeply loves his life. So he said fuck it and stepped closer to his life, enveloping him with his body and cupping his face, closer and closer until there’s no space in between of their lips.
And just like that, Bright witnessed how Win vanished in thin air.
Bright is on his way home, still shocked at the sudden disappearance of his love. He stopped at his track to appreciate the scenery. The view of the golden sun illuminated the water. It turned everything into gold. He was still in awe when it started pouring. Drizzle of raindrops fall as the sun brightly lights up the horizon. Sunshower, he thought. Instead of looking for a shed, he let himself drenched from the rain. Instead of feeling cold, he felt warmth creeping up from his skin to his insides. He felt melancholic. It reminded him how beautiful their love was, whether how short it is. It reminded him of him. It felt like a warm hug from the cold and unjust world and maybe, he realized that Win never left. He realized that Win is always here, as long as there’s a sunshower.
“You were beautiful, my love. Rest easy, my sunshower.”