Chapter Text
It was nearing midnight and the sound of his own pen scratching against paper was slowly starting to irritate Doyoung. The sun outside his window had set hours ago and the lamp on his small desk just barely provided enough light for him to keep studying. He sighed when he leaned back and rubbed at his tired eyes with the back of his hand, the one that didn't have ink stains from the pen that had broken earlier that day. Doyoung had never really liked studying late at night. He much preferred to get things done throughout the day when it felt like his brain at least tried to function at its full capacity. It had gotten harder however to keep up the nice morning routine and productive evenings he had gotten used to during his time in highschool. He'd prided himself in these habits and fully believed that they had been the key to his successful graduation and good grades. And for a while, he believed that maybe he could have adapt this kind of schedule to his life in university as well. As was the case, his third year at university had begun recently and his days had lost any semblance of a sensible schedule sometime during his first year.
He chanced a glance at his laptop that he'd set up on the kitchen counter, only to remind himself why he was in this situation in the first place. The video shown on the display was still stuck on the rendering process as it had been for the past two hours. The 93% that titled the progress on screen almost seemed to mock Doyoung in his misery. He was tired of studying and desperate to get into bed. It was moments like these that reminded him trying to run a semi-successful Youtube channel did not mesh well with being a full-time student and his desire for a healthy sleep schedule. But even though getting some more hours of sleep was tempting, he wouldn't have changed any of it. His Youtube channel consisted mostly of silent vlogs, study videos and the occasional montage video of clips and pictures he took throughout his days. It was simple in aesthetics and themes even when Doyoung was almost falling apart from working so hard on it. It seemed his channel always brought out his most perfectionist streak. And he had always struggled a little with that side of himself.
While his natural drive to do his best at all times benefited his grades, there had never been an outlet for the pressure he put on himself. Being smart was one thing, finding purpose in it entirely another. Until he uploaded his first video in the second semester of university. Even just one comment about how his vlogs were calming and his study videos motivating were enough to keep him going despite everything. Being able to help anyone with his videos was more precious to him than anything he had done in his life before he started his channel. Although Doyoung didn’t like to dwell on the emotional side of things too much. His older brother had more often than not accused him of being coldhearted. Doyoung however liked to think he was being rational and clever instead. As long as he didn’t get attached to anything he didn’t risk getting hurt.
And besides, his Youtube channel had much more tangible benefits anyway. It helped him pay his bills and was after all the only reason he could afford to rent out his own little apartment while he was still a student. He didn’t even have to rely on financial support from his parents, which he was immensely grateful for. They had never really approved of his choice to study Literature in the first place. Their compliments were well-intentioned and sometimes even flattering, but Doyoung had grown tired of hearing that he should use intelligence for a degree that would actually help him find a job later in life. Maybe he was a little too idealistic, stuck between being optimistic and being too stubborn to admit that he shared those worries, but he told himself he genuinely believed that all of this was worth it. And if anything, his Youtube channel supported his choices by providing both inspiration for his studies and money to cover his living costs.
The apartment he could afford with the money he earned from ads and the few sponsored videos he had done in the past wasn’t much to brag with. It was small, very small. The entire kitchen space was only about three metres wide and his desk was placed right next to the counter that most of the time served as a laptop stand instead of a place to prepare food. The big window that covered almost one whole wall, because the wall itself wasn’t very long, at least provided a lot of natural light for his videos. And since his sleep schedule had progressively gotten worse, he had also learned to appreciate just looking at the stars every now and then. Sometimes they were the only source of light other than the blinding screen of his laptop, which he looked back at now once again.
“Oh my god finally”, he said out loud even though he was alone in his apartment as usual.
His friends had warned him a few times that living on his own for so long was already making him develop some strange habits. Doyoung didn’t care about any of that though, especially not when the video he had been trying to upload had finally gone through the whole rendering process. He watched impatiently as the website loaded once more and his video eventually showed up on his channel. At least for some of his European viewers the video would be up sometime during the day and not in the middle of the night. He shut his laptop close with a little more force than was probably necessary and dragged himself to the ladder that led up to his small loft space and his bed that felt more inviting that night than ever. His eyes fell closed as soon as his head hit the soft pillow. And yet, if Doyoung had been promised that he would live the exact same day tomorrow without any change, he would have done it all over again.
„Where’s Doyoung?“
He heard Yuta’s voice before he even saw his friend and for a moment he was tempted to duck his head and hide behind the book that was currently lying open next to his lunch. But he knew it would have been a futile effort. Some other student he vaguely recognised as someone from their university’s basketball team had already pointed in his direction.
“Thanks Johnny”, Yuta said for everyone around to hear before he hurried over to where Doyoung was sitting at one of the tables of the café on campus.
Right, Johnny was the guy’s name. Now that Doyoung thought about it he might have even been the captain of the basketball team. In his defence, Doyoung wasn’t very interested in sports or, as a matter of fact, in the people who played them. He knew the people in his own classes, he’d even held events for first year students a few months ago, and that was more than enough involvement he needed with anyone in this university. To this day he still wondered how he had become friends with Yuta at all.
Yuta was very different from him. Although he wasn’t very loud either and some were even intimidated by him at first, most people loved to have him around. He was talented, beautiful and infinitely charming. So it was only natural that professors and students alike had been very disappointed when he had dropped out of university after only little more than a year. Doyoung didn’t blame him though. Considering the success Yuta had found with his Youtube channel even before he had enrolled, it was understandable that he decided to focus on it as his full-time job. In any way, he was still hanging out on campus for the most days. Yuta claimed the university’s practice rooms were the best place to film his dance covers. Doyoung on the other hand suspected it had more to do with either Taeyong, the dance major who still always unlocked those rooms for Yuta even after he dropped out, or Winwin, the foreign exchange student who had decided to stay past his one term exchange program because he had been offered a full-ride scholarship.
He was just about to greet Yuta when his friend sat down next to him and he noticed the serious look on his face. Doyoung couldn’t tell whether he was excited or upset about something and either option could have possibly been unsettling for him. The blueberry muffin Doyoung hadn’t even taken one bite of so far got pushed to the side when Yuta leaned further into Doyoung’s space.
“What is it?”, Doyoung asked finally when Yuta didn’t explain himself. The suspicion was clear in his voice.
“You really haven’t checked your channel at all today?”, his friend answered with another question and at least this time Doyoung could make out the disbelief and disappointment in the familiar face. Which, however, didn’t explain much at all either.
Doyoung was never logged into his own Youtube account on his phone and only checked it from the safety of his apartment. Because as much as he liked replying to comments, seeing the statistics for his videos at any time had weighed down on his mental health heavily when his channel had first gotten a little more attention. So he only shook his head, confused more than anything because Yuta should have already known all that. Befriending him in their first semester had been the main reason why Doyoung had started his channel at all.
“I knew some day one of your decisions would put me in a situation like this”, Yuta said with a dramatic sigh and Doyoung was starting to get genuinely worried, “I mean I respect them but why do I always have to end up getting involved.”
“Can you just tell me what the hell is going on?”, Doyoung’s open book and blueberry muffin had been long forgotten.
Yuta stayed silent for a second, then continued: “Promise me you won’t freak out?”
“If you don’t spit it out soon I’m - “
“Okay, alright fine”, Yuta interrupted him and put up his hands in surrender, “just don’t blame me for telling you now. I think it’s better for you to know.”
He reached for his phone that he carried in the back of his jeans and opened Doyoung’s channel without any further explanation. It took Doyoung several moments to realise what he was supposed to see there. The channel looked as it always did, with its pretty light blue header and the video he had uploaded the night before showing up on the main page. But then he took a closer look and finally noticed that the subscriber count, which last night and for months before that had sat at around 50 thousand, now showed the number 71 000.
“What the - “, Doyoung didn’t even know which kind of swear word was appropriate for a situation like this. He never gained more than about 50 subscribers per day. The fact that this app was telling him that he had gained 20 thousand over night was more than ridiculous.
Against his best judgement, he grabbed his own phone from the table and logged into his account with the thought that maybe Yuta’s phone was just experiencing some sort of glitch. This was the first of his own rules that Doyoung broke.
Betrayed by his phone, Doyoung had to realise that it showed the exact same subscriber count as Yuta’s had. And as if things hadn’t already been confusing enough, Yuta reached over and grabbed Doyoung’s phone to show him a video Doyoung had uploaded about two months ago. It had been a massive project and although it hadn’t gotten nearly as many clicks as his short silent vlogs Doyoung was very proud of it. The title of the video read: 10 hours – Study with Me [real time/low music]. He hadn’t even been sad when the video had only gotten around 10 thousand views when he uploaded it. Not many people actually needed a ten hour study video and even less would actually sit through the whole length of it. But it had been somewhat fun to do and Doyoung had managed to write almost half of one term paper during that seemingly never-ending study session he had recorded. The number displayed under the video when Yuta clicked on it now showed 102 849 views.
“What the fuck”, Doyoung dropped his phone on the table when Yuta handed it back to him and instead just stared at his friend.
“I was wondering when you were finally going to swear. I almost scared Taeyong with the words I let out when I saw this earlier”, Yuta said jokingly but his shoulders were still tense where they touched Doyoung’s.
“Apparently some big Youtuber made a video on this one you uploaded and people now found it through him”, Yuta finally explained and Doyoung didn’t even have the mental capacity to ask how he had found any of this out.
“What do you mean by big Youtuber”, Doyoung signalled quotation marks with his hands around the word big. He was subscribed to most popular channels that would even remotely match the content of his own videos.
“Oh I don’t know… some guy who sings and does vlogs”, Yuta stalled answering the question properly, “with like over three million subscribers.”
The alarm Doyoung had saved on his phone to remind him of his next class went off at that moment and both of them jumped at the sudden sound. Doyoung quickly started putting his things into his bag and pushed the blueberry muffin over for Yuta to eat.
“Please don’t freak out now, okay? It’ll be fine”, Yuta said with the most reassuring tone he could muster and Doyoung had to admit he was lucky to have someone as kind and loyal as Yuta looking out for him. Even when he couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud.
“I’m not freaking out. I’m going to class”, he countered instead and made sure the alarm on his phone was turned off properly. And if Yuta noticed that his hands were shaking while doing that, he didn’t mention it.
[Yuta 6.14pm]
Have you watched the video yet??
This was the third text of that sort Doyoung received from Yuta since they had met during lunch break. He closed the door to his apartment behind himself, took off his new pair of light grey sneakers and finally decided to text Yuta back once he settled on his tiny makeshift sofa.
[Doyoung 6.22pm]
In case you forgot some of us are actually still busy with classes
Sure, he was being a little petty about it but Yuta had already sent him the link to the dreaded video twice. That Doyoung had tried to watch it earlier with his headphones, hidden in a toilet cubicle and only failed because his internet data hadn’t been strong enough to play Youtube videos wasn’t something Yuta needed to know.
[Doyoung 6.23pm]
… I’ll watch it now
Doyoung gave in and sent the quick text as if it had been an afterthought. As if he hadn’t waited literally all day to be able to do this. Now that it came to it though, he wasn’t so sure anymore. The link the chat was staring back at him and it almost looked like the letters and numbers were swimming in his vision. It looked a little like they were dancing. He blinked once and then again just for good measure. Maybe it had been due to the unavoidable anxiety that had plagued him all day but he reached out for his bag and took out his glasses anyway. They were round with thin black frames and Doyoung immediately felt slightly better with the familiar weight resting on his nose. Much to his relief, the words on his screen had stopped dancing too.
He took one deep breath, convinced himself that he was being ridiculous over nothing and finally clicked on the Youtube link. His phone opened the app and suddenly there was this guy’s face looking at him from the thumbnail of the video. A hint of recognition was trying to gain Doyoung’s attention but he was so distracted by all the information that was thrown at him all at once that he couldn’t pinpoint if he had already known this channel.
The first thing he noticed was this: Although the guy on the thumbnail was pulling a face, one that was something between a smile and a pained grimace, he was incredibly handsome. Doyoung’s brain supplied something more along the lines of: Cute guy. Very cute guy. When he regained somewhat of a sense over his own thoughts he scolded himself inwardly. He was trying to find out vital information about whatever and whoever had caused one of his videos to blow up in views. Focusing on a task at hand had always been one of Doyoung’s strong points and he was not going to lose control over this now. Then his gaze landed on the title of the video: Studying for 10 HOURS? ME?! - Let’s do the Do-Challenge. So the video was definitely related to his own long study video, that much was obvious. For a second Doyoung considered if he should go grab a pen to take notes because he was already getting confused.
“What the hell is the Do-Challenge?”, he mumbled to himself and the frown on his face deepened as he scrolled to the description under the video.
Just as Yuta had said the subscriber count next to the name of the channel showed a small 3mio+ and although Doyoung thought he had been prepared for at least this one fact the reality of it only really hit him now. How anyone with that amount of subscribers had even found his channel, let alone decided to do a whole video on it, was so far beyond his understanding that he failed miserably at trying to make any sense of it. The rational part of himself was telling him that there had to be a reason for all this, that it might even be beneficial to him. The other part, the one he denied was in charge at most times, told him that this was a huge fucking mess.
JustJaehyun. That was the name of the channel and after the initial shock, Doyoung thought it actually sounded familiar. He supposed that although the Youtube algorithm mostly just provided him with recommendations similar to his own content, it was impossible to completely miss someone who was apparently doing so well for himself. The video Doyoung was looking at right now already had about five times the number of views he had ever dreamed of for one of his own. Maybe he was just being hesitant about actually watching the video and having to deal with his own involvement in all this, but he chose to click on the account name first to see what kind of content he could expect from it.
Not every thumbnail showed the face of the same guy, Doyoung assumed it was Jaehyun judging from the account’s name, but he was seen in every other post. The others showed different images varying from sunsets to a group of men in football jerseys depending on the type of video it was. There were these videos about sports, video games, a lot of vlogs and surprisingly even more song covers. Somehow even with those contrasting themes the colours of all thumbnails went well together and to Doyoung’s surprise, everything about it was pretty in one way or another. It should have looked messy but the channel as a whole seemed coherent, especially with the one person tying it all together. At least Doyoung understood the name of the channel now. All of this was really just Jaehyun. As a result, he wasn’t surprised at all when he eventually clicked on the video he was meant to watch and the guy from the thumbnail introduced himself with the same name.
“Hey guys! It’s Jaehyun and I am so happy to see you all again. Welcome back to the channel and most importantly… welcome to my most ambitious and honestly probably worst video ever.”
Light brown hair was falling onto his forehead in long strands and the room in the background was blurred slightly so the viewer’s full attention was forced onto the man on screen. In this setting his sharp facial features stood out even more and the lights of his probably highly expensive equipment were reflecting in his warm brown eyes. His words however, got betrayed by his smile. It was wide and bright and disgustingly optimistic. For some reason it made Doyoung feel even more wary about the whole situation. Not even the dimples on the stranger’s face could distract him from those feelings of impending disaster. Some might have called Doyoung pessimistic or even overdramatic but to himself his reaction seemed realistic and very much valid. It left no room for hope but also none for disappointment and that was what mattered most to him.
“Maybe everyone should grab some snacks and cancel their plans for the day because believe me, this video is going to be a long one.”
Doyoung tapped on the display of his phone once to pause the video and beneath it appeared the duration of it. While his own video had been a full ten hours, as it should be considering his goal with it, this one was about five hours long. And even though it was only half the length of Doyoung’s, he could tell from the other videos he had scrolled past that it was unlike anything else on this channel. The fact that he was somehow involved in this, that he might have even been the sole reason for it, wasn’t nearly as exciting for him as it was worrying. When he continued the video, he got startled by his own channel showing up on screen momentarily.
“Shoutout to this channel called ZelosDocument, he heavily inspired what I would like to call the Do-Challenge! Get it? Do from the username document and if I’m not wrong I think his actual name is something like Doyoung too. Anyway I thought maybe if I put the word Do in the name of the challenge some people might actually you know… do it too so I won’t be the only one suffering through this. I saw this video he did in which he studied for 10 hours straight and since he even showed the schedule he used to get through that I thought I should give it a go. I’ll be honest with you guys, going back to Uni might not have been my best idea ever so I actually really need this. So whether you’re struggling a little with your grades too or just want to see how ridiculous studying for 10 hours straight is, go ahead and try the Do-Challenge yourself!
Before you run off and do that though, leave a quick like on this video if you enjoy it, subscribe to the channel and let’s get into the video! Are you ready? Because I really think I’m not…”
Doyoung’s hands worked as if on their own accord, tapping the screen rapidly to skip forward in the video with the faint hope that this wasn’t as bad as it sounded. It stopped on a frame of Jaehyun eating some noodles. Skipping forward again and Jaehyun was complaining straight into the camera that he was about five seconds away from giving up. He had the audacity to say that he couldn’t imagine anyone in their right mind would actually finish this challenge and that’s when Doyoung snapped. The thin thread that had been holding back his anxiety and anger finally ripped apart and Doyoung closed his eyes as if it had physically pained him. A Youtuber, and not just any but one with an audience of over three million people, had taken hours out of his probably precious time to make fun of his content and consequently Doyoung himself. Hours after Yuta had told him about this the reality of it finally sunk in. He was completely and utterly screwed.
For the most part, his plan to act like none of this mess had ever happened was working perfectly fine. He went to class as usual, Yuta made him bring snacks over to the dance practice rooms on campus during his breaks and he even uploaded a video only a few days after his channel had suddenly gained a whole lot of unwanted attention. It had been a video showcasing sweaters his aunt had recently knitted for him and how he was trying to style them, an attempt at staying far away from any study related content with his videos for the time being. Doyoung couldn’t tell if he was being paranoid or if those people who knew about his channel actually gave him curious looks when he walked around on school a few days after JustJaehyun, widely popular Youtuber and apparently idolized amateur singer, had picked him out from the anonymous mass on the platform for everyone to see. Usually Doyoung didn’t have a problem with being the centre of attention, but he learned now that being put in that situation by someone else wasn’t nearly as fun. Especially not by someone who until a few days ago probably didn’t even know he existed.
As he was walking to the bus station a hand on his shoulder suddenly demanded his attention. When he turned around, hands tensed into fists in case he needed to fight off any dangerous strangers, he came face to face with the captain of the basketball team.
“How’s it going, Doyoung?”, Johnny asked him with a bright smile like they had always been friends. Doyoung was sure he had never talked to this man more than twice and both times had been at parties, the music around them so loud that even then Doyoung hadn’t known what they were actually saying. A few days ago when Yuta had looked for him he barely even recognized the athlete.
“I heard what happened with JJ and you”, Johnny continued, like that explained anything about why he was suddenly talking to Doyoung with his hand still resting on his shoulder.
“Uhm… JJ?”, Doyoung repeated intelligently instead of a greeting. At least he was smiling at Johnny like this conversation wasn’t the weirdest thing that happened to him all day. Yuta always said he had a customer service smile without ever having worked in retail in his life. Maybe it was a relict of his time as student council president in highschool.
“JustJaehyun? I’m pretty sure he’s usually called JJ. I mean the video he did about your channel.”
“Oh, right”, Doyoung let out a nervous laugh.
He should have known that sooner or later someone would talk to him about this. Not a lot of people at University knew about his channel and even less ever mentioned it to him. In fact, he had never shown his face in any of his videos. The viewers knew his name, maybe even the place where he studied if they could tell from his videos and got to know most parts of his life through his vlogs. His face however remained hidden even when more and more people had started to grow curious about what he looked like. It was always just out of frame, his body and life in front of the camera but his face out of sight. Those who knew about his channel were either people he trusted or some who found out through his association with Yuta. His friend never told anyone but with his own Youtube channel that at least half of the student body was probably subscribed to it wasn’t that difficult to figure out the connection between their accounts. Yuta was somewhat of a local celebrity even after he had dropped out of school and this was just one of the risks that came with being his best friend. Doyoung still always thought it was worth it.
“It’s so cool that he found your channel!”, Johnny continued unpromted, “I’m really happy for you dude.”
And for a moment, Doyoung allowed himself to believe what he said. Maybe it was actually kind of cool that someone with such a huge audience had decided to share his content. Maybe he could find a reason to be happy about this too, especially if other people thought it would be good for him. Or perhaps he was just incredibly amused by the fact that Jaehyun was apparently known as JJ, which was about the dumbest and yet most obvious nickname to go for with his channel name. Either way, for the first time in days it didn’t feel like the ground was shaking beneath his feet. He could almost convince himself that his world wasn’t falling apart around him anymore.
How fragile his good mood and positive attitude was got proven within the same day. He was lying in bed, the blanket only half covered his body and he was distracted by his phone. Although Doyoung knew that staring at a bright screen before sleeping wasn’t exactly the best choice, as every other university student in the world he failed at following that piece of advice. Usually however, he was watching shows on Netflix or sometimes even did videocalls with his brother or Yuta if he had any energy left after studying and editing his videos. Tonight, he was distracted by something else.
The truth was, after he had logged into his Youtube account on his phone the day JustJaehyun had uploaded the video about him, he never signed out again. For over a week now the statistics for his channel, all comments and the recommended videos of a few smaller Youtubers who tried the Do-Challenge had been the first thing he saw every time he unlocked his phone. It was equally stressful and addictive. Yuta had told him not spend too much time looking at these things but as Doyoung himself had established, he wasn’t particularly good at following anyone’s advice. Even if he knew that they were undoubtedly right. Wild ups and downs of his statistics were something he could deal with, they were just numbers that grew or fell and even though it was happening on a much different scale now, he was used to it.
The one thing that bothered him was the comments that flooded his notifications and drowned out any and all of the people who he knew had previously always commented on his videos. Of course he didn’t know those subscribers personally but their presence had always been somewhat comforting and they reminded him of all the reasons why he loved to do what he did with his videos. Now they were nowhere to be found and it was more than just a little irritating.
So many of the people who had now found his channel were nice, kind and at most times supportive of his other content beside the now popular 10 hours study video too. Just as many however had come to mock him and the work he put into his channel. Doyoung could admit that a lot of the comments were actually funny, he still had his sense of humour after all, but some simply crossed the line. He’d always been aware of trolls on the internet, knew that he was putting himself out there with his Youtube channel, but he wasn’t prepared for how it felt to be on the receiving end of those attacks. Hundreds of people didn’t even try to mask their harassment as jokes, they were simply rude and downright malicious. And worst of all, every type of comment on his videos these days revolved around JustJaehyun.
With a tired sigh Doyoung put his phone away and was suddenly surrounded by darkness when the screen got turned off. He struggled for a moment to cover himself with the blanket properly and dragged it up to his chin. The loft space of his apartment had never felt too small or too crowded for Doyoung to sleep in. But that night he could feel the walls and ceiling close in on him.
The next time he was confronted with worries about his Youtube channel he was sitting at a small table inside the convenience store close to his apartment. The overhead lights had a cold blue tinge to them and the cashier kept sending him judging glances because he occupied one of the few tables near the entrance of the store alone. They weren’t actually meant for proper seating but over the years more and more people had started eating the food they bought right there after paying. Doyoung felt a gust of cold wind on his neck whenever someone opened the door to the street.
“You look terrible”, Doyoung looked up from his phone to lock eyes with the person who took a seat on the vacant stool next to him.
“Thanks Kun”, he replied with with an overly sweet smile and ignored the genuinely worried look on his friend’s face, “as always it is lovely to see you too.”
Doyoung and Kun were the same age and had taken some of their earlier classes as they overlapped between his Literature degree and Kun’s for Intercultural Communications. They had never really had a reason to talk, both preferred to keep to themselves and actually pay attention in class unlike most other students. Until it was pouring rain one day after their class and Kun offered to share his umbrella with Doyoung, despite them never having spoken a word to each other. That day Kun had walked him all the way to his room of on-campus housing and not a single drop of rain had touched his head.
“Seriously, are you okay?”, Kun asked sincerely now and Doyoung hated the way his brows furrowed with worry. While he knew that Kun was probably the kindest person he’d ever met and he didn’t mind taking care of his friends, Doyoung couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being a burden just by having his own worries so out in the open for everyone to read. Either that or Kun was really good at looking right through him. Doyoung liked to have fun with his friends, he wasn’t the loudest or most eccentric person in the world but there was nothing he loved more than making those he cared about laugh. And he hated that he was doing the complete opposite now.
“It’s just the same Youtube things”, Doyoung shrugged his shoulders as if he could shake off what was weighing them down these days.
“Didn’t you do something about those awful comments?”
“I did…”, and for a moment Doyoung considered lying, saying that he settled all the problems, but then he reminded himself that this was Kun. The one person who didn’t deserve to be lied to because he himself was always so ready to give his whole heart and truth. “I think I may have made things even worse.”
Doyoung unlocked his phone and slid it across the surface of the table that was covered with various stickers and promotional posters for events that had long passed. Before it could fall of the edge of the small table, Kun caught it like he had been waiting for Doyoung to pass it to him. Of course, he knew about everything that was going on with the channel and Doyoung was glad that he never needed to explain anything to Kun. Because at this point, he himself felt completely lost in this whole mess too. Still, he held his breath when Kun went silent to read the community post that was opened on his phone.
Hello to all the new people who have recently found this channel. I hope you’re all doing well and I honestly wish I could give every single one of you a warm welcome here without having to hold back. As it stands, I don’t really feel like I can do that though.
While many of you have been very nice to me and kind about my content there is just too many people who think they have a right to make fun of me. Or even insult me for whatever reason… I don’t even know.
So let’s make some things clear: I never asked for this channel to get exposed to this many new people at once. Actually I wasn’t even asked if I would be okay with that.
If you’re here to enjoy my videos I appreciate you. Everyone else, remember to be nice or please just leave.
The comments under this post where even worse than those on some of his recent videos. Surely there were positive ones, and perhaps their order was just due to some weird Youtube algorithm, but Kun scrolled further and further down without finding anything nice some people might have had to say.
Imagine being so ungrateful when someone gives your crappy channel free promo
Lmao dude’s already acting like fame got to his head
Shut the fuck up no one knew who you were before JJ mentioned you
“You didn’t make anything worse”, Kun all but threw the phone back on the table and looked at Doyoung with an intensity that he rarely saw from his friend, “you hear me? You had every right to call these people out.”
The smile on Doyoung’s face was sad. He knew that for once Kun wasn’t right, but he appreciated that he was trying to make him feel better anyway. Even if he didn’t succeed this time.
“It’s fine Kun, I should have known better. It’s my own fault for trying to reason with fucking trolls.”
The cashier sent them their most disapproving look yet when Kun let out a frustrated sigh at that.
“Listen to me, none of this is your fault”, Kun spoke deliberately slowly like he was trying to explain something obvious to a clueless child, “It’s like you said. You didn’t ask for any of this so don’t ever think it’s your fault.”
And apparently Doyoung had needed to have it spelled out like this for him because he could finally feel things click back into place. Kun was right when he said he looked miserable because that’s what he actually was. The sleepless nights, the unwanted attention and the worry that he had been silently carrying around for days now. It may have been Kun’s intention to cheer him up but instead different emotions flared up inside of Doyoung. Hot, scalding anger and acid bitterness spread through his body until they touched his heart and heated his face. He felt a little like he was suddenly coming down with a fever. But the relief at his realisation was stronger: None of this was his fault. It was Jaehyun’s.