Chapter Text
Hinata is in the midst of packing for his winter off-season when he sees it—a familiar, faded blue oversized jersey, haphazardly tucked in between a few of his other sleeping shirts in his bottom drawer.
The first remnant of Oikawa that he’s seen in months.
He thought he had gotten rid of it all after that first week, when the realization finally hit him that he had been unexpectedly and unmistakably dumped by his boyfriend of over two years. And after days of losing sleep and staring at his phone, willing for it to light-up and display that familiar name, Hinata finally let go of the disbelief and allowed the grief and anger to overtake him.
The tears came first. Unbidden and messy and loud, Hinata sobbed—all but howling as he curled into himself on the couch, his hands covering his face and pressing most uncomfortably hard against his eyelids in a futile attempt to stop the hot tears from flowing.
And then hours later, after furiously wiping at his face with his sleeve and giving his blotchy-faced reflection an impromptu pep talk in his bathroom mirror, Hinata was filled with the inexplicable need to purge. Grabbing a large trash bag from beneath his kitchen sink, he went about scouring every inch of his apartment, throwing in every item that even remotely reminded him of his ex—borrowed clothing, books half-read and left behind on his nightstand, photographs of the two of them torn off their magnets from the refrigerator—everything was stuffed into the bag until there was no room left.
Hinata rode the high of that frenzied adrenaline until he was back on the couch where he began, with a now almost-empty apartment and three large trash bags placed in the far corner of the living room, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill once more.
It didn't take long for Heitor and Nice to realize that something was wrong. When Hinata had missed their weekly weekend brunch the following day, the two showed up knocking on his front door and were promptly shocked speechless when it opened, revealing an almost comatose Hinata. His eyes were red and swollen from crying and lack of sleep, and it looked like he hadn't showered in days.
"It's worse than we thought," Heitor muttered under his breath to his wife, who was urgently tugging at his shirt sleeve at the sight of their disheveled friend.
"Guys, I'm fine. I s-swear," Hinata sniffed pathetically from his doorway, and Heitor had glanced over his shoulder to survey the ransacked apartment behind him with a shake of his head.
"It looks like you've been robbed, Shouyou."
"Well, it kinda feels like it, too," Hinata responded with a small, sad laugh, and the broken sound of it instantly triggered Nice into action, brushing past her husband to pull the shorter man tightly to her chest and prompting him to wrap his arms around her in turn.
"Oh, Shouyou, honey. I'm so sorry."
It was hard to hold back the tears at that, so Hinata let himself cry into her shoulder, telling himself that this would be the last time he let himself break in front of his friends.
Except it wouldn't be. Not for that night, and not for months after.
Fortunately, Heitor and Nice took matters into their own hands after that.
Seeing the large, overstuffed trash bags in the corner of the room, Heitor insisted on handling the matter on his own, dragging each one not-so delicately out of the apartment, and assuring Hinata that he would handle the prompt return of certain items to Argentina, if need be. Though, Hinata had just told him not to bother and directed him to the location of his apartment's garbage chute; because if Oikawa had wanted any of that stuff, then he shouldn't have left them behind to begin with.
And, well, if Hinata cried even further at his own admission, the two didn't comment on it.
While Heitor dealt with the manual labor, Nice curled up next to Hinata on the couch holding two overfilled glasses of white wine, one for each of them, and a furniture catalog pulled up on his laptop so that they could replace all of the stuff he had thrown away.
"Did you really have to get rid of all of your bedding?" Nice asked, one eyebrow arched as she watched him scroll through the catalog disinterestedly.
When Hinata turned to look at her with a solemn expression, she took the memo and immediately backtracked. "Okay, Shouyou. Whatever you need to do." And then after a moment, "But don't get those, they are hideous. Here, let me do this for you."
Not long after Hinata passed his laptop onto the female beside him, Pedro had arrived with bags of snacks and take-out, as well as a box containing his gaming consoles, clearly meaning business if the serious air about him was anything to go by.
"All right. I've got the three break-up essentials: video games, anime, and junk food. Take your pick, Shouyou."
Nice snorted from beside Hinata as the younger man placed the assortment of items on the coffee table in front of them, moving to hook-up his Switch to the television set. "You are such a nerd, kid. You forgot the most important one."
Pedro cocked his head at her from over his shoulder with a blank expression. And rolling her eyes, Nice pulled the half-empty bottle of wine that was tucked between her and Hinata and waved it at him.
"Hellooo. Booze. Break-up essential number one."
"I've got to agree with Nice on this one," Hinata added, taking a generous gulp out of his glass if only to make a point. "Followed closely by an extensive round of Mario Kart."
"That I can help you with," Pedro said, tossing them both controllers and settling himself criss-cross on the ground in front of them as the upbeat intro music began to play, while Nice leaned over across the coffee table to peruse the food options in the to-go boxes.
"I call Peach!"
"Hey, you know that Peach is my go-to, Nice."
"Yeah, that's not very nice of you. Heh."
"Do you know how may times I've heard that, nerd? It's getting old."
It was in these moments that Hinata felt the ache in his chest finally begin to subside into something less unbearable. And weeks and weeks later, in his newly furnished apartment, every trace of Oikawa seemingly erased from existence, he finally felt like he could breathe again.
But now, staring wide-eyed at the faded CA San Juan Team Jersey intermixed with the rest of his clothes, it’s like all of those months that passed never happened. Like Hinata is right back where he started.
He thought he was over this already.
Over him.
But Hinata feels the same deep, gut-wrenching ache before he can stop it, and he reaches out for the familiar blue of the jersey, letting his fingers press against the soft cotton before gripping it tightly in his clenched fist, unwittingly recalling the moment he last wore it.
-
“You understand, don’t you? Why this can’t work out between us?”
-
But back then, Hinata hadn't realized that it would be his last.
Well, he hadn’t realized that any of it would be his lasts. Which is pretty unfair, when Hinata thinks about it.
Because he had made an effort to remember all of his firsts with Oikawa. The first time they kissed—raising himself up on his tippy-toes and reveling in the shocked, pleased expression on the handsome brunette's face after getting dropped off at home; the first time they danced—slow and steady to the gentle strumming of a guitar in a quaint, outdoor patio; the first time they said ‘I love you’—whispered against the soft skin of his shoulder just as he was falling asleep.
So many firsts, but no lasts. If Hinata knew there were going to be lasts, he would have remembered them—he would have paid better attention...
Wouldn’t he have?
It’s a dangerous line of thought to go down, and before he can go any further, Hinata quickly brings up both hands to slap himself soundly on the cheeks, a welcoming sting that shocks him back to the present.
He can’t keep doing this. He can’t. Because once he starts remembering, there is no stopping it.
And he can’t afford to spiral again.
After a moment’s hesitation, Hinata drops the jersey onto the floor and finishes packing his bags. He throws it out with the rest of the trash on his way to the airport.
-
Kenma offers to pick him up when his plane lands.
As he waits for his ride, Hinata stuffs one freezing hand in his pocket to avoid the biting chill in the air and uses the other to adjust the duffel bag strap across his chest. After spending the past few years abroad, he had forgotten how cold the weather could be back in Japan, and he laments his lack of appropriate winter attire.
He finds himself longing for the milder climate back in Brazil as he burrows his head further in the zipped-up collar of his jacket, scanning all of the cars slowing down and zooming past the passenger pick-up area.
“Shouyou!”
The second that Hinata spots the dark-haired man waving at him from the other end of the walkway, he feels a wide grin spread across his mouth. Before he knows it, he’s already darting through crowds of people, increasing his pace until he’s close enough to excitedly wrap his arms around one of his dearest friends.
“Kenma!”
“Oof. Shouyou, your hugs are getting ridiculous now,” Kenma huffs with a fond irritation and lets himself get lifted from the ground in a showy display of both Hinata’s strength and excitement at their reunion.
“I missed you so much, Kenma. You have no idea,” Hinata says as he buries his frost-bitten face into the thick, wool scarf wrapped around Kenma’s neck. “Thank you for picking me up...and for being so warm .”
Kenma chuckles as Hinata ignores all semblance of personal space and stuffs his freezing hands into the other man's coat pocket, latching onto his warmer, gloved fingers. “It’s good to see you, too, Shouyou.”
“Wow, do I not get a hug as well?” A familiar drawl says from inside the car beside them, and Hinata peeks his head over Kenma’s shoulder to see Kuroo smirking at the two of them from the driver’s side window.
“Kuroo-san!” Hinata detaches himself from Kenma to greet the other man, leaning his head into the car window and letting Kuroo ruffle his hair in greeting.
“Long time no see, Shrimpy-chan.”
“Likewise,” Hinata says, grinning up at him.
“Let’s get going. It’s freezing,” Kenma says into his scarf, shuffling to stand beside Hinata at the passenger door. “Do you need help with your things?”
Hinata shakes his head as he pulls back from the window. It doesn’t take long for him to load up his duffel bag and small carry-on into the trunk of the car before sliding into the backseat, sighing in contentment as the toasty warmth inside the vehicle seems to envelop him instantly.
Kenma smiles at him from the rearview mirror. “Hungry?”
Hinata immediately perks up at the suggestion. “Ramen?”
Kuroo laughs at the eagerness in his tone and puts the car in drive. “I know a good place we can go to.”
They take him to a ramen shop closer into the city, and Hinata feels himself overcome with nostalgia and comfort at the simple familiarity of it as they walk inside. As much as he loves Brazil, there is just something inexplicably soothing about being back home in Japan, and he’s almost surprised by how much he's really missed it.
It really has been too long since he last visited.
“How long will you be in town for?” Kuroo asks once they’ve settled into a small booth near the back of the restaurant.
“Just for the month, and then it’s back to training in January,” Hinata responds, thinking of his schedule with Asas São Paulo. “Honestly, I’m surprised they let us have the holidays to ourselves. They are pretty strict about time off.”
From beside Kuroo, Kenma rests his chin on his palm as he watches Hinata closely. “That’s why you haven’t visited in a while, huh?”
Hinata doesn’t have to look up from his menu to know that his friend is prodding at him without actually asking him outright. “Yeah, I guess I have been pretty busy.” He doesn’t add that he has purposefully been avoiding returning home after the break-up, though knowing Kenma, the other man had probably deduced that on his own.
“I haven’t seen Natsu or my mom in ages,” Hinata adds with a loud sigh, hoping that his attempt at making light of the conversation isn’t too obvious, “Planning to visit them in Miyagi next weekend.”
Kenma nods his head in understanding. “Where are you staying until then?”
Grinning, Hinata closes the menu in front of him with a loud snap. “With the Jackals, of course.”
"Ah."
“I’m sure Bokuto didn’t really leave you with any other option,” Kuroo responds knowingly, snickering as Hinata rolls his eyes.
“Bokuto-san was quite insistent on having our old roomie situation back,” Hinata says with a laugh. In fact, his former teammate had bombarded him with text after text, insisting that Hinata stay with them over winter break to catch-up. And not having any other options at the time, Hinata quickly agreed to the arrangement.
“Is he still staying with Sakusa-san and Miya-san?” Kenma asks, referring to their old MSBY roommate set-up. The four of them had shared an apartment back when Hinata was still on the team. Now, almost four years later, the set-up had not changed much.
“Yep! I can’t wait to see them. It’s been so long.” Almost a year, actually, if Hinata thinks about it. The last time he had seen everyone was back before he and Oikawa had—
Hinata mentally shakes his head at that. Nope. Not going there. He quickly barrels on before his mind can catch up. “Have to crash on the couch, though. Apparently they did some renovating to my old room.”
Suddenly, Kuroo chokes on his water, half-laughing and half-coughing as Kenma elbows him in the side not-so discretely from beneath the table, causing Hinata's eyes to widen in slow realization.
“Oh god, what did they do?”
“You’ll just have to see when you get there, Shrimpy-chan,” Kuroo responds with a dismissive wave of his hand, trying and failing to school his expression in order to hide the amusement from his face.
Hinata narrows his eyes at the other man, pursing his lips in thought as he thinks back to the countless shenanigans he and his former roommates had managed to get themselves into back when they all lived together. Whatever it was, it couldn’t possibly be as bad as the Plastic Wrap War of 2018. Or the time when Atsumu-san had replaced all of the deodorants in the bathroom with cream cheese. Or when Bokuto-san mistook the dish soap for dishwasher soap and flooded the apartment, forcing them all to share a single bedroom for a week.
He says as much to the other two and has to stop himself from laughing out loud when Kenma and Kuroo’s expressions quickly morph from amused to horrified in a matter of minutes.
“You all deserve each other,” Kuroo manages to say with a shake of his head. “I don’t know why Sakusa puts up with you three.”
“Let alone how,” Kenma adds, raising a brow.
“Omi-san loves us,” Hinata affirms with a grin. “He’ll never say so, but despite all of his fussing, he’s never tried to move out after all of this time, so that has to count for something, right?”
“Maybe he’s just not as smart as I thought he was,” Kuroo says dryly, earning him another laugh from Hinata. "Or perhaps, he's a glutton for punishment."
This leads Hinata to share about the time he made Omi-san try a jello shot for the first time, after mistakingly doubling the amount of alcohol required for the recipe, and the three of them continue to share stories and catch up, only pausing when the waitress stops by their table and takes their orders, dropping off a pot of steaming hot green tea at their table.
“So, there’s something that I wanted to run past you, Hinata,” Kuroo says, blowing lightly at his tea before taking a sip. “It’s the reason why I decided to tag along today, actually.”
“Oh, you mean, you didn’t just want to third-wheel Kenma and me for fun?” Hinata comments teasingly.
“It wouldn’t be the first time,” Kenma responds, a small smile playing on his lips as he trades a knowing glance with Hinata.
“Anyway,” Kuroo interjects, rolling his eyes at the two of them. “You going to hear me out or what?”
Hinata is still smiling when he looks over expectantly to their darker-haired companion. “Yes, sorry, Kuroo-san. You were saying?”
“So, here’s the thing,” Kuroo begins, steepling his fingers together beneath his chin, “We want to do another monster generation interview for the Japan Volleyball Association.”
“Oh, like what we did with Bokuto-san, Kageyama, and Ushijima-san a few years back?” Hinata asks, thinking back to when the four of them were interviewed for the Japan Olympic team.
Kuroo nods his head. “Yes, except this time, we’ve contacted everyone to join. The whole monster generation.”
Everyone? Hinata’s eyes widen in surprise at that. “No way! That’s amazing, Kuroo-san!”
“Yeah, we were really impressed by everyone’s positive responses. We didn’t think that we could get a hold of everyone, honestly,” Kuroo explains. “Akane-san and Fumi-san were really determined, though.”
“So who all is going to be there?” Hinata asks, immediately distracted when the waitress comes back with their steaming bowls of ramen. He eyes his own with excitement as it’s placed in front of him and misses when Kuroo and Kenma exchange worried glances over his bowl of soup.
“Well, the four of you from before, if you are down. Plus, Miya, Hoshiumi, Sakusa, and…”
Hinata slurps the noodles and looks up when he hears the hesitant pause in Kuroo’s voice, tilting his head to the side curiously.
“And?”
This time, Kuroo elbows Kenma and the smaller man sighs, a frown gracing his features as he watches Hinata closely, a considering look in his amber eyes. “Shouyou...there’s something you should know.”
Hinata flits his gaze from Kuroo to Kenma. “What is it?”
"Don't freak out, but uh," Kenma involuntarily winces as he continues, “...apparently, someone else kind of invited himself to join?”
A sense of unease curls in his stomach at that, and suddenly Hinata is almost too afraid to ask. "...Who?"
"...Oikawa."
At the sound of his ex's name, Hinata instantly freezes up, dropping the chopsticks in his hand into his bowl of ramen with a loud splash. He gapes at the other two for a long moment, trying to process the information.
“...What?"
"I'll have you know that we didn't actually invite the guy," Kuroo attempts to quickly assure the orange-haired male, who is still staring at them with wide eyes, "He must have found out from one of the other players and contacted us. And well, once Fumi-san and Akane-san heard he was willing to join, they didn't want to lose out on the opportunity to interview him. Apparently, he's pretty picky about media coverage."
"Probably because he wouldn't be satisfied unless he had the whole interview dedicated to feed his own ego," Kenma mutters under his breath, poking at the noodles in his bowl a little too aggressively.
But, Hinata is only half-listening as his mind races, trying to make sense of it all. “Why would To—I mean, Oikawa go out of his way to travel all the way back to Japan for a silly interview?" He finally asks, forcing out a laugh that sounds weak even to him, "Especially one that he wasn't even invited to? It doesn’t make any sense.”
Honestly, it doesn’t sound like him at all.
“We were surprised, too,” Kuroo admits, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly as he looks over to Kenma beside him. "But, we can tell him 'no', Shrimpy-chan. It's not too late for us to cancel him."
“And you don't have to do it, either, you know,” Kenma adds softly, “It's your choice, Shouyou."
Somehow, their support feels more like a punch in the gut than anything else, and Hinata has to stop himself from outright losing it in front of his friends. He takes a deep breath and tries to reason with himself.
Okay, so Oikawa is coming here to Japan. That's no big deal. It’s his home, too, and Hinata has no right to feel upset about that. And yeah, if he does the interview, that will mean that they would be forced to see each other for the first time in over six months since their break-up...which is not the most ideal scenario, Hinata will admit. But, he can handle that.
He's been handling that.
And...okay, it might hurt...seeing him again, but Hinata is first and foremost a professional, and he's not about to let his ex or his silly feelings ruin his opportunity to interview with the rest of his old team. If anything, this will be good for the two of them. They'll be able to finally make peace with where they stand with one another. And maybe...maybe, they could even be friends again.
Steeling himself with newfound resolve, the orange-haired man nods to himself and looks over at Kenma and Kuroo, who appear to be gauging his reaction carefully from the other side of the table.
“Look," Hinata starts, voice firm, "We broke up months ago. We’re totally over it now. I—” He emphasizes loudly, gesturing back to himself with his thumb, “Am totally over it.”
“Really?” Kenma asks incredulously, clearly not buying it. “You guys were together for almost two years...and six months isn't that long of a time—”
Hinata clears his throat, interrupting him before he can go further. “Really, Kenma. It's fine. I'll do the interview.”
Kuroo gives him an assessing look, his eyes narrowed, but after a long moment, he eventually nods his head in assent. “If you're sure, then I can go ahead and confirm it with everyone else. It's supposed to take place in a few weeks, so the sooner we get everything finalized, the better.”
A few weeks, huh? That’s fine. Totally fine. Hinata could do this. At the end of the day, it's just one interview. What's the worst that could happen?
“It'll be fine!” Hinata assures them with a smile that stretches a little too wide on his face. “Promise.”