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Ray retired from being a police officer the second day he spent in Ben’s cabin following their quest for the Hand of Franklin. Ben can still remember looking out the window and watching Ray talk on the satellite phone to Lieutenant Welsh and thinking about how calm he was.
Ben remembers how that had made him worry, the fact that Ray hadn’t been his usual energetic self, how when Ray had come back in with a smile on his face Ben had asked over and over if Ray was sure.
“Ben. I love you.” Ray had said in such a matter-of-fact way, the same way someone would tell you that the Sun rose every morning.
“Yes, but are you sure?” Ben still hasn’t been able to convince himself that maybe Ray will be the first person to stay in his life, no matter Ray’s reassurances. Time, Ben knows, will convince him if he gets it.
“Ben.” Ray had said again, though a touch more slowly and with more of an exasperated smile on his face. “I love you and I don’t want Chicago to kill you.”
“I lived in Chicago for four years,” Ben reminded him, and Ray shook his head.
“No, you didn’t. You survived in Chicago and it was killing you slowly. You live up here.” Ray reached out and squeezed Ben’s hands. “Give me a chance to live up here too.”
And so together the two of them did, spending a few years in the cabin together before they stumbled into the adoption of their four children in a series of wildly bizarre ways; watching their daughters and son grow up to carry on the Fraser name.
“What are you doing?” Ray asked as he came in from the shed and saw the numerous papers spread across the table.
“Planning,” Ben said idly as he tilted his head slightly just as Ray finished taking his stuff off and stepped towards him to press a kiss on his cheek like he always did.
“I haven’t seen you do this much planning since the quest,” Ray teased.
“Nonsense,” Ben replied, knowing full well how much planning he had done when their second eldest had gone to school in Toronto, and Ray laughed.
“What are you planning for?”
“Retirement.” Ben’s answer made Ray stop dead in confusion.
“Retirement?” He asked and Ben nodded with a confused look on his face as he looked up from his papers. “You’re serious?”
“Well Ray we certainly aren’t getting any younger.” Ray waved his hand at him which made Ben smile. Ray had been very perturbed by the fact that he had developed the first grey hairs out of the two of them, had been at least until Ben had convinced him how lovely he would look as a silver fox.
“No, I meant you are going to retire?” Ben reached up to smooth his eyebrow at the question and Ray laughed even though he knew it might increase Ben’s temptation to smooth his eyebrow. “Frase you’ll retire the day that they put you six feet in the ground. Just like your Dad and Buck.”
“Previously, that had always been my assumption of how my life would go,” Ben agreed mildly before he slowly reached out towards Ray. “But now I find that the path of my life has changed and has given me someone to spend retirement with.”
“Ben,” Ray said and moved towards him and cupped his face in his hands. “Ben, I don’t need you to change your plans for me.”
“But what if I want to? I don’t want to make the same mistakes as my father. He barely spent time with my mother, I want to spend as much time as possible with you. And since we didn’t have our youth together, you will have to settle for my old age.”
“Ben, I get that, I do. But I also know that you’re going to be one of those people who semi retire,” Ray said and sealed his words with a quick kiss before moving over to the coffee machine.
“Semi retire?” Ben repeated as he watched Ray dance through making his coffee. It was really the only way to describe how Ray made coffee, with his smooth steps and flowing hips and graceful arms. It was a dance that Ray used very rarely, and it always made Ben feel a particular kind of warmth.
“Yeah. Like how Eva worked every day at the post office for thirty-five years, retired and has worked there Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for the past ten years,” Ray said. “Semi retired.”
“Or how you retired from the Chicago Police Department but work at the machine shop Monday through Friday?’ Ben asked. Ray snapped his finger at him.
“Got it in one. If I get to semi retire, so do you.” Ray took a sip of coffee and then danced back to stand next to Ben. He took another sip before kissing Ben again. “Just promise me a few things.”
“My semi retirement comes with conditions?” Ben asked.
“First, that your permanent retirement comes due to old age a long ways down the road. Second, that you make sure we have weekends off when the time comes. We’ve earned it.” Ben laughed and nodded. “Thirdly, that we take a month off every year to spend a week with each of the kids.”
“I feel as if you are not the only one who requested that final condition,” Ben said with a laugh.
“The kids want to spend time with you. They got that from me,” Ray said with an eyebrow wiggle which made Ben laugh again.
“Among other things.” Ben reached up and cupped Ray’s face in his hands as if he were a precious treasure. “I don’t suppose I ever thanked you.”
“Thanked me?”
“For loving me. For living your life with me. For raising our children with me.”
“Thanks are not required. But same to you Ben.” Ray kissed him deeply. “Thank you for letting me live up here.”