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Magnus decided ice skating wasn’t quite the terrible ordeal he’d been dreading. True, he’d fallen half a dozen times already since stepping out on the lake after lunch, and the dull pain in his knees and hips forecasted bruising and stiff mornings for the next week at least, but it was all worth it to have Toki beside him.
The man was downright adorable in his big comfy brown coat and one of those funny hats with the ear flaps tugged snugly on his head. Magnus should’ve let Toki talk him into buying one for himself. Even through his thick curls, his ears were freezing. His nose, too. And his cheeks. Everything, really. Phoenix winters were a sauna compared to this.
Toki gave his gloved hand a reassuring squeeze and grinned at him over the chunky blue scarf. “You almost gots it,” he said cheerfully. “Here, watch Toki some more. Sees? Amn’ts likes walking. You gots to moves your weight into each leg. Just gentles, likes this. There you goes! You doins great!”
“Th-thanks, bud.” Magnus felt his face flush in spite of the chill.
After nearly two years of keeping their relationship between themselves and a tight social circle that included the rest of Dethklok and Toki’s mother, it was a thrill to be out in public together like this. Well, as public as a small village in Norway could be. It was a picturesque little town, Lillehammer. And with fresh snow in the air and the crisp scent of pine in his nose and the warmth of Toki’s hand in his, the day seemed so perfect. He feared he might have fallen too hard on the ice that first time and woken into a dream.
Charles and Pickles weren’t necessarily part of that dream, but Toki had invited them along. Magnus remembered Pickles getting especially moody around Christmastime, and he figured the guy must’ve been all too happy to call up his family and tell them he was headed to Norway for the holidays this year and not Wisconsin. And it wasn’t so bad travelling with them, truth be told. Pickles had mellowed out over the years, and so had Magnus (a combination of growing older and loving the right person), and Charles kept his barbs to a minimum, which was more than Magnus deserved, he knew.
Pickles, speak of the devil, chose that moment to skate up alongside them and match their sluggish pace. His cheeks and nose were pink from the cold, but he wore a light jacket and a knit cap and didn’t seem bothered by it. “How’s he doin’, Toki?” he asked, then lifted his gaze and winked playfully at Magnus.
“Slow and steadies,” Toki replied, being kind. “But just you watch, Pickle! By the ends of the day, he ams gonna be speedins right pasts you! Right, Magnus?”
Toki smiled eagerly in his direction (oh, that sunny smile could melt glaciers) and his concentration went right out the window. His aching knees buckled and the skates veered apart beyond his control. He struggled to straighten himself, clutching hard at Toki’s fingers, then grabbing for his arm, but he finally lost his balance, and as he fell he realized he was pulling Toki off his feet.
“Fuck!”
“Magnus!”
He managed to keep his beardy chin from slamming against the ice, but Toki landed hard and gave a startled yelp before rolling onto his back and cradling his elbow.
“S-Sorry,” Magnus said in a panic. “Jesus, Toki, you okay? I didn’t—I didn’t mean to pull you like that.” He tried to make his legs move, but the skates were like cement blocks on his feet and he’d gone stupid from the shock. Falling hadn’t stopped being scary yet. Between his height and his age, he figured it was only a matter of time until he snapped one of his bones like a twig. Up until now, though, he hadn’t considered he might also hurt Toki with his careless skating. And the last thing he wanted was to be responsible for another of his injuries.
Toki (so brave, still smiling) simply laughed it off and sat up. He stretched out his elbow twice, shook it out, and then appeared to be just fine. “Don’ts be silly, Magnus, I used to fall alls the time. How else you thinks I learns?” He was being so sweet about it, attempting to lessen the guilt, but Magnus still burned with shame.
“Shit, you guys okay?” Pickles asked, offering his hand to Toki and yanking him up again.
“Yeps,” he said, “no big deals.”
Magnus sat there on the ice and nursed his hip and his wounded pride, or what little of his pride remained. It didn’t help that a group of kids skated by easy as they pleased, staring and snickering. Leave it to him to fail at something so simple a child could do it. Toki probably wished he could skate with Pickles and Charles and just bench him lakeside for the rest of the afternoon. And Magnus wouldn’t blame him.
“Hellos? Magnus?”
Toki smiled down at him, the bright winter sun shining on his wealth of chestnut hair. “Oh, r-right,” he said slowly, noticing the hand outstretched for him. Toki hoisted him to his skates and held him firm until Magnus stopped shaking and regained the proper footing.
“Don’ts worry,” he said, brushing snow from the front of Magnus’ dark wool coat as Pickles looked on and smirked. “You’s doins real good for your first day. And I know fallins amnt’s very fun, but please don’ts gets too upset.”
“I’m not,” he said, all too aware of Toki’s hands and the heat gathering in his cheeks. A few more seconds and he feared he might melt right through the ice.
Charles glided to a smooth stop beside Pickles. “Everyone good over here?” he asked, adjusting his burgundy scarf. “That tumble looked a bit rough.”
Toki shrugged. “Aw, we’s fine.”
“Perhaps you should skate on your own, Magnus,” Charles suggested. “Just for a while. Let Toki have a break.” And Pickles nodded in agreement. Magnus winced, the last of his pride falling from him like brushed snow. So it was true, he was being a burden.
“Yeah, sure,” he said, and he tried to put a good-natured chuckle behind his voice. “Guess it’s not fair to Toki having to babysit me all day.”
“I don’ts mind! Reallies!”
“Come now, Toki,” Charles said, “let him go on his own for a lap or two. Certainly he can handle it at this point.”
After a moment’s hesitation, Toki turned back to Magnus with a questioning glance. “Ams you sure is okay?”
“Of course,” Magnus said. “I’ll have to do it without your help eventually. Might as well try now. Go have fun, bud.” He grinned in an attempt to assuage Toki’s worry, and perhaps his own as well. The more he sized up the frozen lake the more his stomach wound itself in knots, but he couldn’t be selfish. He had to let Toki know he’d be all right without him, even if it wasn’t exactly true.
After a kiss on the cheek and a lingering look, Toki skated off with Pickles and Charles. Magnus watched him leave, chest tight. He moved so gracefully on those skates, his body shifting effortlessly over the ice. Being saddled with Magnus for so long must’ve been torture, like clipping a bird’s wings. Toki needed to soar, and Magnus had quite literally dragged him down with him.
He shuffled along the ice feeling sorry for himself, not paying attention. Ironically, his skating improved the less he thought about it. He just continued forward like Toki had said, slowly but surely, his arms stuck out at foolish angles. Eyes up, silly, he could hear Toki say, and he lifted his eyes from his skates and tried to keep them on the path ahead.
He heard the kids well before he saw them. Their shrieking laughter rushed up behind him like a wave, a buzzing swarm, splitting apart and flanking him so closely he thought he might run into them. His weight shifted in a way he didn’t intend and he overcorrected so severely he started to stumble backwards, blades lifting off the ice. His hands flailed out for a source of stability that wasn’t there, and then with a sick plunge of his stomach he fell.
But he didn’t land.
“I gots you!”
It took him a few splintered, shaken moments to realize someone had caught him very capably under his arms, saving him from most likely cracking the back of skull on the ice. It took even longer to realize it was Toki.
“Comes on,” Toki was telling him, “you’s all wiggly. Lemme helps you up.”
“I can’t—” Magnus swallowed the words, too embarrassed to follow through. I can’t do this. I can’t skate by myself.
With a grunt of effort, Toki finally shoved him upright, and Magnus, trembling both from the cold and the fear, clung to him and hoped in desperation he wouldn’t be left alone a second time.
“Wowee, what happened? You been doins so good!”
Magnus just shook his head.
“You wanna tries again? You gots this, Magnus, I know you dos.”
His grip on Toki’s arms tightened and he shook his head again.
“You’s just psy-clicking yourself out. Takes a deep breath.”
Magnus took a deep breath of icy air, feeling it stick to the insides of his lungs, and he let it out slow. His jitters didn’t stop, so he tried it again at Toki’s prompting, and then again.
Finally, he could speak. “I wanna sit down.”
“You dos?”
“I just...I don’t wanna do this without you. So, uh…” Magnus flinched, hating how needy and childish he sounded. “So I’ll sit. And...and you can skate.”
“Magnus, you—”
“No, it’s okay.”
“Magnus.”
He went quiet, mostly because Toki kissed him. Their lips were chapped and cold, but the kiss warmed him from the inside out, and when Toki broke it he leaned in greedily for one more quick smooch, craving the heat.
Toki’s face, its color thus far unaffected by the chill, now seemed a touch pink. He smiled, and the pink deepened. “Magnus.”
“Mm?”
“You cans ask me to keep skatins with you.”
Magnus swallowed sheepishly. “Really?”
“Yes, reallies, you silly duck. If you wants Toki to stay, ams gonna stay. Always.” Toki brought gloved hands to either side of Magnus’ face, rubbing the knit over his stubble. “So don’ts says you ams okay to be alones if you amn'ts actuallies okay.”
Maguns nodded. He was guilty of that so often, saying one thing while hoping for another, and then being disappointed at the outcome. Especially when it came to Toki. “I...I just didn’t wanna hold you back.”
Toki laughed under his breath, making little cloudy puffs. “Why you thinks I brings you here?”
“Um…”
“Because I wants to dos this withs you. So,” Toki made sure he was balanced and then took his hand, “let’s dos it. Sounds good?”
“...yeah.” Magnus smiled softly and let him take the lead, grateful for the easy pace.
Pickles and Charles finally made their way around to them again, and Pickles was cackling. “Jeez, Toki! You shot across the lake like Eric fuckin' Heiden. What a rescue!”
Toki waved off the praise. “Think we’s just gonna takes it slow together. You can goes on ahead.”
“Y’hear that, chief?” Pickles said to Charles. “Go on ahead.” And he gave the man’s ass a slap. Or he would’ve if not for all the woolen layers between them.
Charles went red. “We’re in public, Pickles, really.”
“You love it.” Pickles snatched him by the elbow, grinning with his teeth, and the two of them skated off together as their voices faded.
Toki started to giggle and Magnus couldn’t help smiling himself.
“Jesus, I’m so fucking glad their hotel room is on a separate floor.”
Toki laughed harder (always felt like a victory to make him laugh) and squeezed his hand, and they spent the rest of the afternoon side by side.