Work Text:
Yu Liang woke up a few minutes before the alarm, as usual. He had been nervous about sharing a bed with another person, since he hadn’t done so in many years and especially since the person in question was Shi Guang, but Yu Liang’s orderly sleeping habits had prevailed. Next to him, Shi Guang tossed and turned, knocking away his blue-gray duvet, which retained none of the neat lines and tidy corners they had carefully crafted the evening before. Shi Guang’s arm wandered in the air, grasping at something beyond his reach.
“Please… don’t leave me…” he rasped, with parched lips and eyes scrunched tight. His arm flopped onto the bed, the weakly curled fingers landing centimeters from his bedfellow. Yu Liang’s hand hovered over the other’s for a second, but he knew he wasn’t the one Shi Guang was seeking. Instead, he slipped out of the bed, softly covered Shi Guang with the duvet, and prepared a glass of water on the nightstand for the other to drink when he woke up.
- - -
Around the time when Shi Guang started to wear more short-sleeved tees and buildings turned on their air conditioning, Yu Liang noticed that during their private matches, Shi Guang sometimes turned to look over his shoulder wistfully, before quickly shaking his head and returning to the board. One review session after such a game, Yu Liang asked hesitantly, “Are you okay?”
Shi Guang remained silent for a few moments, then replied, “Do you have anything planned for the Dragon Boat Festival next weekend?”
“No, nothing much. My parents are still abroad, so I was just going to relax and study at home.”
Shi Guang fiddled with the black stone in his hand. “Do you want to visit Lan Yin Temple with me?”
Yu Liang had long suspected that the temple held some keys to Shi Guang’s secrets, and maybe he would divulge some of them. “Of course.”
As soon as the two explained that they wanted to stay at the temple during the festival, the monk that welcomed them assigned them chores. “Wonderful, because we are particularly busy for the event. The chef needs help making rice dumplings for lunch.”
The day was warm, with just a few clouds in the sky, and it was even warmer in the kitchen. The chef asked them to wrap the dumplings and demonstrated the process once. Shi Guang took the leaves and the filling and handed Yu Liang the twine.
“Wait, the rice is sticking to me instead of the leaf!”
“You idiot, you’re folding the leaf wrong!”
“Why is the knot falling apart?”
The chef chuckled at their first few attempts, but soon, they fell into a rhythm. Shi Guang wrapped the leaves around the dumplings and passed them to Yu Liang, who tied the twine securely to fasten them.
When they made the last dumpling, the chef sent them to get water from the well.
“Do you remember when you just dropped the bucket into the well?” Shi Guang’s laughter rang through the quiet mountain. Yu Liang pursed his lips, but it was the first time he’d seen Shi Guang actually happy in weeks.
“I know how to do it now, don’t worry.”
After collecting the third bucket of water, Shi Guang paused to wipe his brow. “You know, it’s funny how things like this have lasted for a thousand years.”
“A well?”
“Yeah. I mean, it’s not too common now. You didn’t know how to use it. But still, it’s the same thing that our ancestors did - dangle a bucket into the well, pull it back out again once it’s full.”
Yu Liang thought for a moment. “There are other things that have lasted for a thousand years, like weiqi.”
Shi Guang nodded. “Yeah.” He picked up the bucket. “Once we finish this, there’s something I want to do.”
That thing, it turned out, was visiting the master in the sutra depository. The master opened the door just before Shi Guang raised his hand to knock and said, “You’re not alone this time.”
“I’m not.” Shi Guang looked at Yu Liang, then back at the master. “I want to play a game with you, Lazy Master, but before that, is there some colored string to make bracelets?”
The master sighed. “You’re making me go look for things. Who do you want to make them for anyway? Whatever, make all the bracelets you want.”
Once the master came back with the colored strings, he dropped them into Shi Guang’s hand and went back to sleep in the corner of the depository. Yu Liang watched Shi Guang’s fingers delicately twirl the strands - green, red, yellow, white, and black. Green, red, yellow, white, black. Green, red, yellow, white, black.
Yu Liang jumped. Shi Guang had suddenly grabbed his wrist.
“What, what are you doing?”
Shi Guang held up the bracelet. “Putting it on your wrist, dummy.”
Yu Liang frowned. “I’m not a child.”
Shi Guang gazed at the bracelet, and then looked pleadingly at Yu Liang.
“Fine.” Yu Liang extended his arm.
As Shi Guang tied the bracelet, he said softly, “I just want you to have a long and healthy life. I want you to live longer than me. I want to die before you do.”
Yu Liang’s eyes narrowed. He wanted to shout at the idiot, but instead, he glared at the bracelet and gritted out, “Give me the remaining string.”
He quickly made a matching bracelet, and tied it around Shi Guang’s wrist. “Look, now you also need to have a long and healthy life. No talk about dying. We are young, and life has many more things for us.”
Shi Guang caressed the bracelet. He squeezed his eyes tight, and Yu Liang was afraid that he would start crying. Shi Guang took a deep breath. “Okay.”
- - -
On Sundays, it had become a routine for Yu Liang and Shi Guang to eat lunch together, then play one or two games at the Black and White Weiqi Club. That day, they were the only customers, the others most likely deterred by the torrential rain. Shi Guang looked disappointed at the absence of the two little boys who typically crowded around the table and whispered comments about the game to each other, less subtly than they thought they did. Yu Liang, however, savored the rare quiet and privacy of their game. He placed one stone on the board and observed the patterns. Noticing it was taking a while for Shi Guang to play, he looked up. Shi Guang had pulled out from his pocket the jellybeans he would often give the little boys, and he was popping one into his mouth.
“Mm, jellybeans are always sweet.” He licked his index finger.
Yu Liang dropped the stone he was holding. It disturbed the lower right formations. He blanked on all the strategies he had been constructing. He couldn’t look away from Shi Guang’s index finger.
“I’m sorry! I’ve lost.” Yu Liang bowed his head.
Shi Guang blinked. “I wouldn’t have cared about you accidentally playing twice. We could’ve reset the board. But if you say so.”
They sat silently for a few seconds, accompanied by the constant drumming of the rain on the ceiling.
“Whenever it rains here, I always think of our second match,” Yu Liang says, just to focus on anything else.
“Oh, that one.”
“I kept wondering about our first two games, like a mystery.” Anything else.
The rain kept drumming on the ceiling.
Shi Guang finally responded, “I told you the whole truth that day, and I can’t say anything more than that.”
Yu Liang was shocked. He tried to rifle back through his memories. He remembered running through the rain holding Shi Guang’s hand. He remembered every single move of the game, baring his tiger cub’s fangs, murder at the hands of a master. He remembered crying and yelling at Shi Guang, and he very well remembered the watch. But he couldn’t remember what Shi Guang had said, and he was even more shocked when he realized he honestly didn’t care very much anymore. He had Shi Guang with him. What more could he ask for?
“The weiqi you played that day is yours, and the weiqi you played today is also yours. That’s enough of an answer for me now.”
The rain pitter-pattered on the ceiling, then gradually subsided. Qin Mei called for them from the front desk. “Xiao Liang, Xiao Guang, come outside. It’s gorgeous!”
Yu Liang tossed Shi Guang a scarf before the two headed out. The rain had ended just before the sunset. The horizon burned orange, throwing the buildings’ silhouettes into sharp relief. The clouds were a gradient from the pink of Shi Guang’s favorite tee to lavender. The puddles on the asphalt shimmered, distorting their reflections of the surroundings. Yu Liang looked at Shi Guang, bathing in the last rays of sunlight, and he was glowing.
- - -
When Shi Guang finally won a major title at the age of 22, catching up to Yu Liang, who’d earned one a few months earlier, his team hosted a massive party that evening with balloons and flower bouquets and flowing wine. Yu Liang held his cup and leaned against the wall, observing his partner laughing boisterously with teammates and friends. Xu Hou, the team captain, slapped Shi Guang’s back proudly a few times and said something which Shi Guang declined by frantically waving his hand. He looked around until his eyes landed on Yu Liang, and his cheeks, rosy from the celebratory wine, curved up into a smile. Yu Liang smiled back. Once the party wound down, Yu Liang called for a taxi to take himself and Shi Guang home. As Yu Liang helped his partner, who’d earlier tripped over his own feet, climb into the taxi, he heard a whisper.
“There’s somewhere else… I want to go with you.”
Although Shi Guang was clearly inebriated, his eyes glinted with an intensity that made Yu Liang catch his breath.
“Where?”
“The lake… near Number 13 High School.”
Yu Liang nodded. “Sir, would you please head there instead.”
The taxi dropped them off by the lake. Counting out the coins for payment, Yu Liang saw Shi Guang, dressed only in his competition suit, shiver in the night air. The taxi slowly drove away, and Yu Liang draped his coat over his partner. He clasped Shi Guang’s hand to prevent him from tumbling down the stairs to the platform by the lake.
One step down.
“I lost something important… a long time ago,” Shi Guang said, gazing at the full moon over the lake. A small breeze ruffled the surface of the waters.
A few more steps. “I found it here, in the lake.”
As far as Yu Liang knew, swimming in the lake was rather uncommon since it was so cold, but he didn’t dare to say anything. He focused instead on guiding them down the stairs.
“When I lost it again… I thought I would find it here.”
Shi Guang, who still was looking at the moon instead of his feet, almost missed the last two steps, and Yu Liang grabbed his arm to steady him.
“But I didn’t, and I almost drowned.”
Yu Liang burst out, “You idiot! Why are you so careless about yourself!”
Shi Guang leaned against the railing and faced Yu Liang. “It’s okay. I found it somewhere else, and I’ll always have it with me from now on.” Shi Guang pulled the coat tightly around himself. “I won’t drown myself. Because you promised me Yu Liang will always be there.”
Yu Liang could see himself reflected in Shi Guang’s eyes. “Yes. You have me.”
They turned toward the lake and gazed at the moonlight dancing on the water.
The next morning, Yu Liang woke up a few minutes before the alarm, as usual. When he tried to slip out of bed, Shi Guang must have felt the disturbance, for he started rubbing his eyes. Drowsily, he reached his arm toward Yu Liang and smiled.
“Stay with me.”
Yu Liang entwined their fingers.