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Continuous coughs coming from the bathroom where Beomgyu sat there beside the toilet as he coughs up rose petals covered with his blood. Who would've thought it would come to this? Who would've thought that the person that came up to him when he was younger so that they could play with the flowers on the field would be the same person that would cause him to fall in love and result in him coughing up bloody petals in the toilet?
Beomgyu leans on the wall and brushed his hair with his fingers and wipes the tears that were staining his cheeks. It was 2 in the morning and all he could think of was the person that he is undeniably in love with. That person was Choi Yeonjun. Though, no matter how hard it was to breathe, how painful the thorns were, he couldn't bring himself to hate Yeonjun for the pain. He loved him too much for that.
His phone lit up and showed a message notification coming from his best friend, the person he is head over heels with, Choi Yeonjun.
Yeonjun: hey bg
Yeonjun: I know you're awake
Yeonjun: wanna hangout?
Beomgyu let out a small chuckle after reading the message. He lifts his hand and typed his reply before slowly getting up from the floor and flushing the toilet filled with blood and petals.
Beomgyu: it's 2 in the morning
Yeonjun: and?
Yeonjun: come on, its gonna be like one of those cute scenes in those movies where the characters drive around at midnight
Beomgyu: what are we gonna do anyway?
Yeonjun: get some food and maybe we can go somewhere?
Beomgyu: go where?
Yeonjun: I'll figure it out on the way. go get ready now
Beomgyu: I didn't even say yes yet
Yeonjun: you'll come anyway
Yeonjun: hurry up, I am on my way now
Beomgyu thinks it is funny how Yeonjun knows him so well but still is as dense as a rock that he couldn't even see his obvious crush on him. Was I not obvious enough? They have been together, for what? 8 years? And during all those years, they never left each other's side. But, maybe soon, Beomgyu would have to leave him due to him not wanting to go and get the flowers out of him.
Hueningkai, another close friend of theirs, found out by accident days ago after their hangout with their other friends. Ever since then, Hueningkai has been convincing Beomgyu to take the surgery. Getting the surgery would make him forget what love feels like. It would make him forget Yeonjun. Yeonjun was too important to him. He meant so much to him.
"Are you ready for the time of your life?!" Yeonjun said enthusiastically as we put on our seatbelts to get ready for the drive. "You seem very excited this late at night." I told him after buckling the seatbelt and leaning on the car window. He chuckled and started the car while the music on the radio played a familiar song. I started humming the tune and, sometimes, even sang the lyrics. As the song continues to play, both of us were already singing the lyrics out loud and doing tiny dances as if we were performing in the car. It was times like these where I forget the pain and just enjoy it. I turned my head to see him with a big smile as he sings the lyrics of the song. I felt my heart beating and the flower growing in me that I started to cough. I held back the threatening cough as we arrived at the drive-thru.
My mind was blank for the rest of the time that Yeonjun was ordering our food. I couldn't help but think if the end of this painful love will come any sooner but my thoughts were disturbed after I felt a pat on my shoulder. I turned to see Yeonjun holding two drinks of coke and was handing them to me. I sipped from the straw as Yeonjun continued driving to somewhere that I was never informed of. "So... Where are we going?" I asked him after I took another sip from the drink. "Well, I want this to be special so... I won't tell you until we get there!" Special? What does he mean by special? As my mind goes through different scenarios, I started to feel another pain in my throat. I rubbed my throat in an attempt to lessen the pain and drank some more of the drink.
This is gonna be a long night.
"Are we there yet?" I asked him, taking small steps and holding onto him to keep myself from falling on the ground, ignoring the little jumps that my heart made in my chest. I started feeling the grass tickling my skin as Yeonjun kept repeating "We're getting closer!" to me. I continued to wonder about all the possible things that we could be in. Amusement park? Nah. It's late at night and I'm sure he doesn't have the money to rent it. Swimming? No. It's too cold, plus, he wouldn't even there touch the water if it was this cold. Where could we possibly b- "We're here!" The warmth of Yeonjun's hand on my face left. I looked around the area and saw the recognizable field in front of me. I smiled at the sight of all the beautiful flowers under the light of the moon. "You brought me to our field?" I said as if I didn't believe that we were standing on this field right now. I mean, I haven't been here in so long that my memories of the field felt like a fever dream to me. "What? You don't like it?" I scoffed at him and sat down on a nearby bench beside a tree. "Of course, I like it. I just couldn't believe that the field is still as pretty as it was before." I sighed and looked around the field and admired the flowers that were softly swaying along with the wind.
"Did you plan this?" I asked him as he was eating his burger and watching the field. "Not really? I was gonna take you here, just didn't know when. Then I saw this opportunity and took you here." He shrugged and looked back at me. I watched his eyes glisten and shine as bright as the stars were in the sky. He was glowing under the faint light of the lantern beside the bench. I chuckled and he looked at me with a confused look, "What? Is there something on my face or something?" I chuckled again. This is the last night, isn't it? I thought to myself. The pain will end tonight? The last night with you? "Don't worry, nothing is on your face" I said, taking a fry from the container. "Why are you laughing then?" He asked. I only shrugged as a response and rubbed my eyes to avoid the tears that were wanting to fall. Should I tell him? I thought again. I looked back at him as he was singing along to some song playing on his phone. No. I don't wanna ruin this moment.
"Make a wish, BG" He handed a small rose to me. The rose looked like it hasn't fully bloomed yet since it didn't look as opened as the other roses on the field. It was a deep red color and it was lying down on his palm with a few dirt particles around it. "You don't wish on a rose, YJ" I chuckled and he moved closer to me. "I know but, you kinda remind me of a rose, you know? And you were kinda one of the greatest things that came to me so.. Rose is you and you are a miracle!" He said, trying not to sound as cheesy as possible but I couldn't help but laugh. "Hey! It's true, you know!" He pouted, still holding onto the rose. "You're cheesy." I said after laughing at his statement. "... But it's cute." I smiled and took the rose from him, closing my eyes and I made a wish. I wish him happiness. I opened my eyes and gave the rose back to him. He raised an eyebrow but then understood what I meant and took the rose and did the same gestures that I did and made a wish. My throat started to hurt and it was getting harder to breathe. Breathe in, Breathe out. Hang on, Gyu.
Finally, we were on our way home. Yeonjun was telling me a story about his day yesterday and how his roommate made some disaster in the kitchen. I just stared at him as if it was the last time I'll be able to stare at him. Well, it is that last time. I, once again, admired his features as the light from other cars or traffic lights were shining on him. His eyes. His smile. His cheeks. His lips. His honey skin. The way he holds me. The way he speaks when he's happy, sad, or mad. I thought of it all. I took a deep breath after feeling a thorn. I took another deep breathe since I started feeling like I was being choked. I immediately covered my mouth as I started to cough. Hold it in, Beomgyu. We're almost home. "You okay?" I moved me thoughts away as I heard his voice. "Yeah, I'm good. Just sleepy." I said as I looked at the window to see if we were any closer to home. "Sleep." I looked back at him and saw that he was still focused on the road. "No, It's okay. I can wait." I leaned back on the chair and watched the street lights go by. "You sure?" He took a small glance at me. "Yes, I'm sure."
Because If I fall asleep here, I wont be able to wake up.
"See you tomorrow, BG." He said before I opened the car door. "Yeah... Tomorrow." I felt another thorn but I ignored it and focused on Yeonjun. "Sleep tight and sweet dreams!" He smiled at me and I smiled back. "Sleep tight, YJ.." I closed the door and watched him drive away. As soon as he was out of sight, I ran inside the house and to the bathroom and started coughing up all the bloody rose petals that I held in the whole time. "Beomgyu Hyung?" I heard a small voice from outside the bathroom. "Hyung? Are you okay?" I heard the loud knocking but I couldn't stop coughing so I ignored it and just continued to cough. "Hyung!" I felt a hand reach out to my back and rubbed it up and down. I put my head up from the toilet and looked at the person beside me. It was blurry but I was able to see Hueningkai's worried face. "Hyung, we need to go to the hospital now. It's getting worst. You're hurting." He said as he grabbed his phone to call the hospital. "It's too late now, Kai-yah." I said, coughing up some more.
"I feel like I'm dying."
I saw him bend down in front of me holding back the tears that were wanting to fall. "You'll see tomorrow, okay Hyung? Please keep breathing." He said to me as he gently pats my shoulder. Breathe in, breathe out. One petal. Two Petals. Three. Four. I smiled and wiped the tears and blood off of my face before closing my eyes to see the darkness that I will be facing for a long time. I heard Yeonjun's voice in my head as it repeated that "Sleep tight and sweet dreams!" that he said to me earlier.
I'm sorry, YJ. Your rose will be leaving now.
Maybe I'll find another way to love you.
Maybe in the next life it wont hurt anymore.
-
I peacefully read a book in the library with music playing in my earphones. The Little Prince. It's a children's book, I know, but I still enjoy reading it from time to time. From the corner of my eyes, I saw someone sit down in front of me. I put the book down and lowered the volume of the music. "Hey, Gyu" He started the conversation. I looked at him up and down, making sure he wasn't some person that is wanting to kill me. His eyes are cat-like. Unique lip shape. Honey skin. He was wearing a black shirt and a beanie that protected his blonde-ish hair. I sat up straight and looked at him with confusion.
"I'm sorry. Do I know you?"