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Jensen had had a long ass day. He just wanted to chill, get comfy and unwind. He’d already had a soak in his tub. Normally he preferred a shower. He’d already had one actually, back at the station house. Washed away the soot and sweat. But tonight? He’d really needed a bath. Needed to sooth his muscles. It’d been a long shift. Another close call. He could still hear the way Jared had screamed his name as he’d run back into the blaze. But Jensen knew he had to get that little girl. And he did. Nothing else mattered. They’d needed a win. They’d had a string of calls earlier in the day where almost everyone they’d tried to save just died right there on the scene.
He knows it wasn’t their fault. Knows it was out of their control. They did everything they could. Sometimes it just wasn’t meant to be. But a whole day of it? So that last call. Jensen wasn’t losing another single one. Especially not a kid. They’d got the rest of the family out. They were leaving no one behind.
Captain Morgan had been happy with it. Clapped him on the shoulder. Thanked him even. The rest of the team had been happy too. They’d all needed it. Everyone that is, except for Jared. His crew partner and best friend.
Jared had remained quiet until they were alone in the locker room. But even then, he let out nothing more than a disgruntled sigh. Jensen had just pulled a fresh t-shirt on, pushing his hand back through his hair, “Come on. Out with it,” he said without turning around.
He could feel Jared’s eyes on his back.
Jensen turned, and Jared dropped his head, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, man.”
Jensen’s tongue swept over his lip which he sunk his teeth into two seconds later, eyes hitting the ceiling as he lifted his chin. Fine. Jared didn’t want to talk. “Sure.”
Jared who always wanted to talk about everything. From the miniscule and mundane to the weird and wonderful and everything in between. The Jared who rarely kept a thought to himself. Didn’t want to talk? Wouldn’t look Jensen in the eye either. The weight of whatever he wasn’t saying weighing heavy on Jared’s shoulders.
Jensen wasn’t gonna poke the bear. Not tonight. “You wanna go grab a beer?”
Jared shook his head, “Not tonight.”
Not tonight.
So, they’d each gotten into their own pick-ups and driven to their own homes.
And Jensen had had a bath.
He was sat on the edge of his bed now, towel around his waist. His phone sitting on his nightstand, little light blinking at him, telling him he had notifications. None of them important. None from anyone he would have wanted to hear from right now. He’d already checked. There’s a part of him that’s tempted to call Danneel and Briana. Have a night out with the ladies. They could always make him feel better. And share in the misery of painfully stupid and oblivious boys who couldn’t see what was right in front of them. That was the part that had him hesitating.
He didn’t want to talk about Jared.
Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He always inevitably ended up talking to or about Jared. They did pretty much everything together. And with the things they didn’t they usually told each other all about whatever or whoever it was anyway.
Not that there had been many whoever’s in the last while for either of them. That was until Jared had met Genevieve.
Technically the whole team had met her. They’d met on a call. She was a cop. And Jared had been taken with her from the jump. Jensen couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Jared be so blush-y and flirty and happy.
Jared was almost always happy. Bubbly. But when it came to Genevieve it was a whole new level.
If it didn’t make Jensen’s chest feel so hollow, he might have been impressed that the pair had never let themselves fall victim to PDA. They were always ridiculously professional on the job. And even when they weren’t. Genevieve had to be the one with the no PDA rule because Jared was the most touchy-feely person on the planet. But he’d always respect other people’s boundaries. And Genevieve was a very private person.
The kicker was how great she actually was. Jensen couldn’t even hate her. He liked her. Danneel liked her. Their whole little found firefam did.
So, Jensen just smiled through it all.
Resigning himself to the fact that he was probably going to die alone.
It was that thought that pushed him up, he wasn’t going to go there. He wasn’t going to allow himself to go there.
He knew what Danneel would say if she was there.
He needed to snap the hell out of it.
Danneel was his OG best friend. His person, if you wanted to get all Grey’s Anatomy about it, and Danneel usually did. So that was what he was gonna do. He was gonna have himself a dance party in his kitchen. Embrace the Christina and Meredith of it all. Even if he was currently minus his Christina.
He huffed at himself, shaking his head, before pushing himself up and allowing his towel to drop as he made his way over to his closet. His eyes drawn to the lingerie box he has tucked up on the top shelf. He hadn’t indulged himself in a while. It wasn’t something he’d felt comfortable enough to share with his last boyfriend. And it wasn’t something he could risk in his day to day life. That he sometimes liked to wear panties was not something his co-workers needed to know.
Jensen pulled the box down picking out an ocean blue pair of lace booty shorts. He slipped them on, pulling on one of his older hoodies that had shrunk a little leaving his mid-riff exposed. And he headed down to his kitchen. Pouring himself a glass of wine and turning Spotify on. He ended up tidying around the kitchen as he danced.
So entranced in the rhythm that he didn’t hear the click of his front door being unlocked. Or the sound of the footsteps on his hardwood floors.
His brow scrunching when he thought he heard his name, he spun around, and he was pretty sure he nearly had a cardiac event as he opened his eyes to Jared just standing there, mouth hanging open.
“Shit. Fuck. Jared.” He grabbed his phone off the counter, taking more than a few tries to get the damn music off as he turned his back on Jared, his hoodie refusing to stretch enough to cover him no matter how many times he tugged at the material.
“Jensen−”
“What the fuck are you doing here?” he said with as much bite as he could muster, fuck Jensen had never been so fucking mortified in all his life.
“I, uh, um,” Jared cleared his throat, “I wanted to apologise.”
Jensen’s eyebrow shot up at that, “Apologise?”
“I should have gone for drinks with you. But I was just so mad. And I know it’s the job. But you could have died Jensen.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t.” He wouldn’t entirely object to dying right about now though. He was an idiot. He should have known that Jared wouldn’t be able to just let this one slide, even for a night.
Jared lets out a huff behind him, “I know. But the thought of losing you?” Jared pushes out a very heavy breath, “It terrifies me, man. I don’t know what I’d do if−”
And if the crack in Jared’s voice didn’t tempt him to turn around, but he knew he couldn’t, “If what?”
“If you didn’t come back.”
Jensen huffed this time, tilting his head back to glance at the ceiling, “You’d get over it eventually.”
“I could never get over you.”
And God Jared said it so earnestly. But they were just best friends, or they were to Jared anyway.
“Jared, what are you talking about?”
“I’m in love with you, Jensen.”
What?
“What about Genevieve?”
Jared’s face scrunching in confusion, “What about Genevieve?”
“She’s your girlfriend.”
“My girlfriend?” Jared practically doubled over as laughter bubbled up out of him, “You think that she’s my−”
“Not funny, Asshole. You spend like half our downtime with her!”
“Jensen!” Jared said with a fond, and still partly amused, and slightly exasperated tone, and Jensen shivered as he felt Jared invade his space. “Will you please look at me,” well, at least Jared wouldn’t be able to look at his junk at this proximity, and with a sigh Jensen turned himself around, “She’s my Danneel. Granted she’s not quite as cuddly, but I can behave myself.”
“Just not when it comes to me?”
“Weren’t you paying attention? I just told you I’m in love with you. And I don’t seem to recall you ever complaining about how close we are.”
“Maybe not to your face,” Jensen said, unable to keep the teasing from his tone.
“Jensen,” he admonished with a light slap to his chest, “Quit pretending this is one sided. Aren’t you going to tell me how you feel about me?”
Jensen shrugged, “I mean, I guess you’re alright.”
“Jensen.”
“I mean, if you already know? Do I really need to say it?”
“Yes, you jerk.”
“Bitch.” Jensen laughed as Jared gave him another little slap, “Okay, okay. I’m in love with you too.”
“Well, when you say it like that. We need to work on your romance skills.”
“Because you’re such a regular Romeo.”
“Okay, but can we address the elephant in the room. Or at least the trunk part of it?”
Jensen snorted, shaking his head, “Wow. Did you really just compare my dick to an elephant’s trunk?”
“Well, you are very impressive. But I was thinking more about, the admittedly, very sexy lacey covering.”
Jensen felt the blush creep back onto his cheeks, “Do we have to?”
“Yes. And as adorably pink as you are right now, you’re also super fucking hot. Fuck, Jensen. Were you wearing those all day?”
Jensen shook his head. “Just here. After.”
“Still so fucking hot,” Jared’s hands were hovering, so clearly tempted to touch, “What made you wear them?”
“I wanted to feel good again. Better. You not wanting to hang and not talking to me, just reminded me of how lonely I’ve been.”
“Shit, Jen. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine. If I hadn’t been such a dumbass−”
Jensen shrugged, “Well I never told you about my feelings either.”
Jared’s trademarked dimpled grin breaking out across his face as he took hold of Jensen’s sides, “So since we’ve agreed we’re both dumbasses, who are stupidly in love with each other, do you think that maybe I could kiss you?”
“Maybe.”
Jared leaning down as Jensen pushed up their lips meeting in the middle for their first kiss, arms wrapping tightly, hearts fluttering and settling in the same space.
“So, are you actually gonna let me look at you now?” Jared murmured against his ear.
Jensen hummed, taking a half step back, letting his hand drop to cup Jared through his jeans, “Hmm, let me think about that.”
And Jensen laughed as Jared grabbed his ass.