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It was a Friday morning in mid December. The air in Papen County was thick with moisture, full of the crisp feeling of icy air, and the stinging smell of the winter cold. Though the town was still bustling, it was a slower bustle than usual, with the cold having the apparent effect of slowing everything down.
All of this to say: it was going to snow.
The pie-maker was, of course, unaware of the cold as he was already busy in the back of the Pie Hole, baking away. The winter was an especially busy time for them. Apparently warm, delicious pie was a highly sought comfort in the cold weather. He had had a busy week out of the office, so to speak, working on a particularly difficult case with Emerson Cod and Charlotte “Chuck” Charles, and had left the Pie Hole in the hands of Olive Snook. He was incredibly happy to be back.
The front door bell rang, signaling someone entering just as Ned pulled a rhubarb pie from the oven.
“Just a minute!” he called, sliding the pie carefully onto the counter as he rushed toward the front of the restaurant. They weren’t officially open yet, and though he was still mentally counting down the seconds until his next pie—a new, experimental version of his specialty Cream Cheese flavor—was supposed to come out of the oven, he absently wondered who would have wandered in here so early.
His first instinct when he saw Chuck’s usually reclusive aunts standing at his counter was to one: gasp loudly, and two: run upstairs and hide Chuck under an extra blanket or perhaps some furniture. Completely unnecessary, of course, but the thought crossed his mind nonetheless. Instead, he said:
“Oh. Hello Vivian, hello Lilly. What brings you all the way out from Couer de’Couers?” What in the world would bring two agoraphobic anti-social recluses all the way out from their tiny county to the city? Was it possible that somehow the two had discovered the whereabouts of their not-as-dead-as-they-thought niece? A not-so-tiny part of Ned was immediately quite panicked at this thought and could feel himself begin to sweat.
“We came for your pie.” Lily stated simply. Ned sagged with relief, leaning against the counter casually to hide it.
“Usually that lovely Olive comes and brings us some, but we haven’t seen her in almost two weeks! And Lily has been awfully cranky without her pie.” Lily rolled her eye dramatically.
“No crankier than usual.” She said with a huff, crossing her arms.
“To be honest, I’ve missed it as well. Nothing picks me up quite like a slice of your pie!” Vivian beamed in the way only someone that has had minimal social contact for several decades could have achieved, in that it was both exuberantly friendly and mildly frightening. Ned was flattered nonetheless, though he was acutely aware that Chuck was the one that baked the pies for her aunts every week. He couldn’t very well say that, though.
“Well I’m glad you enjoy them so much, I—“ A burning smell interrupted Ned’s train of thought and his eyes grew wide in realization.
“I’m, I have to—cream cheese! I’ll be right back!” He stumbled over his explanation as he ran back to the kitchen where black smoke was beginning to slip out from the door of the oven. He pulled the door open and blanched at the cloud of ashy smoke that greeted him as he used his apron to yank the ruined pie out of the oven. He closed the oven door and jumped, startled by the presence of Chuck, who had been obscured by the open oven door and the burnt pie smoke.
“Is everything ok? I smelled smoke.” The woman asked groggily, still in her pajamas. Ned had to resist the urge to clamp a hand over her mouth as she spoke, settling instead for panicked hand gestures and comically wide eyes to convey his message of “please be quiet, your aunts are less than 20 feet away from us right now”. She gave him a puzzled look and he frantically gestured toward the hall where they would have a bit more privacy.
“Your can’t go in the dining room, your aunts are here requesting pie. I would highly recommend staying back here or, even better, going back upstairs and also talking very, very quietly .” Chuck’s mouth formed a tiny “o” in surprise, though she peered around Ned to see if she could get a look at her aunts anyway.
“Why did they come all the way out here?” She whispered, more to herself than to Ned, but he answered anyway.
“I just told you, they want pie.” Chuck shook her head.
“But I just sent Olive to them with a pie a week ago. I was going to send her with another one tomorrow.” Ned scratched his head.
“Well apparently the pie and Olive have gone M.I.A.. Have you seen her around? That case this past week took up all my time. I didn’t see her at all but I just assumed it was because she was here while I was out investigating.”
“I was with you too, silly. But you’re right, I haven’t seen her at all lately. The last time I saw her was when I gave her the pie.” Ned thought for a minute.
“Alright well I’m going to go to her apartment and check on her. You stay here and—wait, that won’t work.” Chuck laughed. “You were about to suggest I stay here and keep my aunts, who think I’m dead, company, weren’t you?” Ned shrugged and awkwardly rubbed his neck.
“I mean I’m feeling a little stressed right now, which is translating to a struggle with thinking clearly…” Chuck just shook her head.
“I’ll go check on Olive, you go keep my aunts busy.” Ned nodded as Chuck turned and went in search of the missing waitress.
The mystery of the missing Olive was apparently solved rather quickly, as when Ned returned to the kitchen after taking the Charles ladies’ order for pie, he stumbled upon a blanket-cocooned, sniffling Olive and a concerned looking Chuck.
“I found her. She’s sick.” Chuck explained. The pie-maker nodded and put his finger to his lips to remind her to keep her voice down. He approached the woozy looking woman and gently put a hand on her shoulder.
“Olive? Are you alright?” Her eyes were closed and she was swaying slightly, her cheeks and nose rosy with a fever, but she nodded anyway.
“Sorry ‘bout this, boss. I had to have Brandy and Manuel run the place for most of the week. I was hoping to be better by the time you got back, but, well,” she pulled the bottom half of her head into the blankets wrapped around her like a vertical, armless turtle and coughed loudly into them. Ned pulled a chair up from his workstation counter for her to sit on.
“It’s fine, Olive, I just wish you had told me. Maybe you should go back upstairs.” Chuck shook her head.
“Not a great idea. The heat doesn’t seem to be working. It’s freezing up there! In your apartment too, by the way.” Ned scratched his head.
“That would kind of explain why she’s still so sick.” Chuck nodded.
“I think it would be better if she stayed down here by the ovens where it’s warm. I’ll keep her out of your way.” Ned pursed his lips.
“I’m not sure it’s a good idea for you to hang around so close to your aunts all day. What if they see you or hear you?”
“Oh hush, I can be sneaky. Besides, it’s not like they’re gonna come back here.” Chuck grabbed the back of Olive’s chair and pulled her back into the far corner, near to the ovens but out of the view from the dining room.
“Besides, it really is cold up there. And you need someone to take care of Olive while you bake pies. Maybe I’ll take her to the doctor after they leave.” He sighed and nodded his concession, leaving Chuck to pull up a chair for herself and tend to the human burrito that was Olive Snook.
To say Ned was relieved when the pie for Lily and Vivian was ready would be a gross understatement. The two were still seated at his counter, sitting in the same positions they typically did on their own couch, which he found unsettling.
“Here you go, ladies. Triple berry with lemon. Have a safe trip home, now.” He tried to smile warmly, but he could feel that it was one of his trademark uncomfortable situation grimace-smiles. Still, the ladies didn’t seem to notice as they gratefully accepted the pie.
“Oh, Lily, doesn’t it smell wonderful?” Lily simply grunted in response.
“Let’s get out of here before the snow starts. Don’t want to be trapped in here all day.” She said as she got up and began walking toward the door, leaving Vivian to carry the pie. Ned sighed in relief, although it turned out that it was a bit premature as when the ladies opened the door to the Pie Hole, they narrowly avoided being bowled over by the heaping pile of snow that collapsed through it. Ned’s eyes went wide and he heard Lily swearing under her breath, all of them wondering exactly when it had started snowing so hard.
After much struggle, Ned managed to get the doors closed again, and the only remaining evidence of the Charles’ near escape was the slowly melting pile of snow he had had to leave on the linoleum by the door. He returned to the kitchen after insisting the women get more comfortable in the booth farthest away from the kitchen doors, and bringing them plates and utensils with which to enjoy their still-warm pie. Upon his return, he found Chuck preparing more pies for baking, and Olive nowhere to be found.
“Um, Chuck?” She looked up at him with a warm smile, a bit of flour smudged across her cheek.
“Hi.” She said before looking back down at the crust she was rolling out.
“Everything alright? Did you get them settled?” He nodded and then realized she wasn’t looking at him, forcing him to supplement with a “yes”.
“Chuck, where’s Olive?”
“Oh, she went to say hi to my aunts.” Ned opened his mouth to argue with the decision to let Olive go hopping around the restaurant while mildly delusional with a fever, but he stopped himself because, he realized, there was no point and nothing to really be worried about. It was also at this moment that he decided that the very first chance he got, he was going to take a vacation.
He peered out into the dining room and sure enough got the tail end of what was surely an amusing image: Olive Snook’s small frame, over bulked with blanket wrappings, half shuffling, half hopping toward the table where Lily and Vivian Charles were seated. Olive slid in across from the women and sniffled loudly.
“Oh! Olive! What a pleasant surprise! I have to admit, Lily and I were so disappointed when you didn’t visit this week.” Lily looked like she wanted to say something along the lines of “speak for yourself” or “I really just missed the pie”, but her mouth was in fact full of pie at that instant and so her only recourse was a sigh accompanied by an eye roll.
“That’s actually why I came o—oh—ah-choo!” She managed to turn her head away from the women before she sneezed, but Lily still cringed nonetheless.
“Gesundheit,” Vivian said seriously.
“Are you feeling alright, dear?” Lily rolled her eyes again, though this time her mouth was free to respond.
“Of course she isn’t, look at her! She’s wrapped in four different blankets, her nose is running, and she looks like death!” Olive sniffled again and nodded.
“Lily’s right, I am sick. That’s why I couldn’t come see you this week. I wanted to apologize about that, and for the pie you lost out on which I have to say, was delicious.” Ned and Chuck could hear this from the kitchen, and although it had no significance to Ned, Chuck paled at the notion of Olive eating an entire mood stabilizer-laced pie on her own, while sick. She hadn’t died, though, so Chuck supposed she was off the hook and could explain away any strange happenings or hallucinations with the fever.
“Well don’t you worry about it dear, we’re just glad to see you. Have some pie, and maybe some tea? I’m sure you could use it.” Olive smiled and sniffled again, wrestling and arm out of her blanket covering to wipe her nose with a napkin and reach for an extra plate.
It was several hours before the snow was cleared enough for the Charles’ to go home, and by that time the two of them, with the fastidious aid of a now slightly less sickly-looking Olive, had gone through 3 pies. Ned had even joined them briefly when they invited him, though he didn’t sit long out of guilt for leaving Chuck alone in the kitchen in addition to general discomfort.
“Gosh, I am feeling so much better!” Olive said, finally shedding most of her blankets as they closed up the store for the night. It hadn’t been the bustling day they were expecting, but Ned was sure the next few days would be extremely busy as people stopped for a respite from the still-accumulating snow. As long as they didn’t get snowed in again, they would be fine.
“Well I’m glad to hear that!” Chuck said, draping an arm around Olive’s shoulder. “Maybe you just needed to get out of your room!” Olive chuckled.
“Yeah, just like your aunts! We had such a nice time today, they really are lovely women.” Chuck smiled sadly.
“Yeah, they can be great sometimes. Maybe this will encourage them to get out of the house more!” Ned smiled as he listened to them and decided he wouldn’t mind so much if the Charles’ did show up again, especially seeing how happy it made Chuck and Olive to have them around, even though Chuck couldn’t actually see or speak to them herself.
The next day, in the town of Couers de’Couers, the Charles sisters woke up with fevers and headaches, and no pie to show for it.
“God damn it,” Lily mumbled into her tea, sniffling miserably. Vivian appeared not to hear her, her ears and head being wrapped nearly entirely in blankets, which continued to encase her entire body. The only exception were her hands, which held another tea cup, and as little of her face as she could possibly expose while still being able to see, breathe, and drink.
“This is why we should never leave the house.”