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“So let me know, and love me better and better, and put another rung on the ladder and let me climb up.”
Virginia Woolf to Vita Sackville-West.
Christmas isn't really Wonwoo's favorite date. All of holiday season, if she's being completely honest, it all just feels kinda off to her, accumulated childhood trauma and a constant feeling of not belonging anywhere. She used to hate it, her teenage self once wrote dramatic paragraphs about why it was an unnecessary and stupid holiday (she’s sure they're nothing but comedic material now). Despite the fact that she's not that bitter anymore, it's still not Wonwoo’s favorite time of the year and she usually wishes she could skip it altogether.
Usually because it is December 23rd and she finds herself wrapping up christmas gifts in secrecy. Gifts, plural. For the first time in what feels like forever. And more than that, she's enjoying the process, praising herself for her choices and hoping her handwritten letter will convey what the gifts can't — what she still has a hard time saying out loud or showing. And that is all for one single person: Kwon Soonyoung.
Six months ago, Wonwoo and Soonyoung literally stumbled upon each other. Both in a rush to get somewhere, it all happened like a scene from some lame romantic comedy. Soonyoung was holding a cup of coffee despite the crazy hot weather, walking down the subway street and talking on the phone. Wonwoo was in the opposite direction, paying attention to a cat that was sleeping by the window of an apartment across the street instead of the path ahead of her. They bumped into each other, Soonyoung washed Wonwoo's white t-shirt with her hot beverage and thankfully, thankfully!, it didn't burn but it did permanently stain that tee.
Soonyoung told Wonwoo, weeks later, on their 5th or 6th date, that she was about to curse and yell at Wonwoo but gave up when she realized how pretty was the girl she had bumped into.
“You looked so confused,” Soonyoung recalls grinning, shining. "Just like a kitten! I couldn't even get mad at you for not paying attention!”
It was awkward but would've been worse if it wasn't for Soonyoung's shameless flirting, leaving Wonwoo starstruck. She asked for Wonwoo's number, offered a new tee and said she simply had to make up for the mess she made. And it wasn't a complete lie but it's not like she wasn't hoping to have a shot with the girl with short dark hair and round glasses. She sure was. She sure had it.
Thinking about it now, Wonwoo doesn't think she ever stood a chance. She still can't quite admit it because the very idea of love at first sight seems stupid, exaggerated, but somewhere deep inside she knew — she saw Soonyoung's smile and sharp eyes and she knew. It wasn't love but the glistening possibility of it, a forecast of what was to come.
Six months later and a week before Christmas Eve, Soonyoung and Wonwoo started enjoying a short winter vacation from their jobs and living up each other's asses, according to Seokmin, who says being around them is a painful reminder of how single she is even when they aren't doing anything but looking at each other or holding hands. They are disgusting, Wonwoo totally agrees but can't bring herself to care.
Yet living up each other's asses has its downsides and one of them is that she didn't have the time to wrap up Soonyoung's gifts yet, considering how they won't leave each other's sight. And Wonwoo should've done this beforehand, should've planned it better but, cut her some slack, she's a beginner at this whole dating and holiday thing. So it is now or never.
Soonyoung left for some quick grocery shopping ("Are you really making me go out in this cold weather for instant noodles and wine?") and Wonwoo's time is very limited. Plus, she sucks at wrapping presents. So you see how stupid is the situation she's in right now.
It's been fifteen minutes since Soonyoung left, Wonwoo's done with one of the presents (one of her favorite books, Gabriel García Marquez' One Hundred Years of Solitude) and there's two more to go (a picture she took when they attended Minghao's first vernissage put on a beautiful frame, Minghao and Soonyoung embraced in a tight hug in front of one of Minghao's biggest, most colorful paintings, and a Nintendo Switch).
Sitting on the living room floor, humming nervously to a song she doesn't really know the name of, Wonwoo battles with the wrapping paper carefully as she can not to break the glass. Felix, the cat, does his best not to help, rubbing his face on the edge of the frame like it's there solely for his enjoyment. Wonwoo shoos him and he glares at her with a look that one might take as judgmental.
“Look at me like this again and you won't get any of that stinky canned food you like so much today,” she complains. The cat meows back and it almost sounds like he's arguing — he's so smart Wonwoo wouldn't put it past him.
A few more minutes pass and she's done with the second package, only one to go. After struggling with the first two, the Nintendo Switch box doesn't hold a real challenge anymore and Wonwoo wraps it quickly in a shiny, blue paper and there's a cat sticker holding a small envelope on its front. It has “To the coolest girlfriend” written in Wonwoo's neat handwriting and holds a piece of Wonwoo's heart on the inside; it's more a poem than a letter, but still. It had been so long since the last time she felt like writing poetry. Soonyoung deserves a whole collection, though, and Wonwoo might actually end up writing it.
Soon after she put the gifts back in their hiding spot, Wonwoo hears the door unlocking from the bedroom, heart still racing a bit.
“Can you help me out here?” Soonyoung whines. “God, it's goddamn freezing outside, you're evil for making me do this by myself!”
Wonwoo meets a very cold Soonyoung, still in her white padding jacket and holding the plastic bags, in the small kitchen. She kisses (one, two, three, four times!) the cold tip of Soonyoung's reddish nose before apologizing. It grants Wonwoo the cutest nose scrunch and a tiny grin that makes her feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
“I'm sorry!” She really is. “I just wasn't feeling well.”
Soonyoung cocks an eyebrow at that but Wonwoo doesn't see it, busying herself with the groceries. “Was?”
Oh boy. When Jeonghan said Wonwoo couldn't lie to save her life, he was right.
“Uh, I took an Advil and drank some tea.”
There's no mug inside the sink and she hopes Soonyoung won't bother to check, helping Wonwoo put the items she bought in their rightful places.
“Oh,” there's a smile in Soonyoung's voice and Wonwoo thinks she hears a mischievous tone in it too but brushes it off. “That's good, sweetheart. Glad you're feeling better.”
When Wonwoo turns to her again, Soonyoung pulls her close quickly and they're probably a goofy looking pair like that; one of them in pajamas and the other wearing a big, thick padding jacket, almost a long haired version of the Michelin mascot, but Wonwoo doesn't mind. Nothing really matters when Soonyoung kisses her as though she's the most precious thing in the world, mapping out Wonwoo's lips with her tongue, hands on their way to grip on Wonwoo's hair.
Almost half a year into their relationship, you'd think Wonwoo would've gotten used to it but she hasn't and there's butterflies in her stomach every time she's touched like that, every time Soonyoung looks at her with love and tenderness dripping from her eyes and Wonwoo feels like she belongs, she belongs, she belongs.
“I know you were wrapping my christmas gifts, silly,” Soonyoung says into the kiss and Wonwoo freezes on spot, widening her eyes in surprise. Soonyoung laughs one of her full body laughs, throwing her head back and all and it's a beautiful sight followed by a lovely sound. Of course she knows, Wonwoo thinks and smiles to herself, happiness running through her veins like oxygen. Why else would she agree on leave the cozy apartment on her own in this awful weather?
Soonyoung fixes Wonwoo's glasses and pinches her cheek. “You're so cute when you think you can outsmart me, smart ass.”
“I'm not— I wasn't trying to outsmart you,” Wonwoo argues, defeated. “This is how surprises are supposed to go, you know.”
“Yeah, and you're terrible at them. But I promise I'll pretend I wasn't expecting them tomorrow.”
Wonwoo rolls her eyes. “That's so very kind of you.”
“I am the kindest woman you'll ever meet, Jeon Wonwoo. Better get used to that!”
Soonyoung's teasing but it is true and Wonwoo knows, almost gives up the banter to agree and tell her that yes, yes she is. It's devastating how much affection Wonwoo has for Soonyoung all of the time, even when they're being annoying with each other. Especially when they're being annoying with each other, their antics fitting right in together like puzzle pieces. The look on Soonyoung's face is priceless, a mix of triumph and love that gets Wonwoo on edge, thinking she'd gladly make a fool of herself like this for the rest of her life if it meant that Soonyoung would always be this happy.