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"Mom, do we have to do this? I want to go to Claire's," Jen whines, acting like a prototypical pre-teen at the mall the week before Christmas.
"No, Jen, we don't have to," Jen's mom responds, voice filled with the patience of a Saint, "but we want to. This is the time of year for giving."
Jen rolls her eyes, "Yeah, giving to people we know," but begrudgingly follows, trying to keep up with her mother through the hustle and bustle.
They approach a huge Christmas tree and her mom points up at it. "See? It's an Angel Tree. Every card has the information of a child from a family in need."
"Uh huh. Well I need some new earrings, and you promised me I could pick some out."
"Jennifer."
She rarely gets called her full name, and that was a tone of voice she never hears from her mother. She looks up at her, sheepish. "Yeah?"
"I know I didn't raise you to be this selfish."
"I'm sorry," Jen feels her face flush. She doesn't want to be selfish.
"Can you imagine if we couldn't afford to get you Christmas presents?" Jen shakes her head, and her mom continues, "Look. For every card on that tree, that's a kid who knows they might wake up to nothing from Santa. If we can make Christmas a little brighter for them, is that something you want to do?"
Jen nods, "Yes."
"Good girl. Do you want to pick one out?"
"Sure."
Jen walks up to the tree and starts looking at the different Angel-shaped cards. Each one has a child's name and age, and something they need and want. The "needs" are always clothes and shoes, complete with sizes. This makes Jen feel really sad, and really terrible for making earrings such a big deal. She already has a jewelry box full.
Jen figures she could more easily pick out clothes and shoes a girl would like, so focuses on them. After a few minutes, she sees one for a 9-year-old girl. She needs shoes and dresses. She wants an art set and a locket. Jen picks it off the tree and turns to hand it to her mom.
"Did you find our Angel?"
"I did."
Jen's mom smiles proudly. "What's their name?"
"Her name is Judy."
*
"Henry! Slow down!" Jen shouts, trying to keep an eye on the wavy crop of hair on his head as he weaves through the crowd.
She feels a squeeze on her hand, looks over to see Judy grinning at her, "He's fine, Jen."
"Sorry, Mommy!" Henry slows enough so she can hear him as he talks over his shoulder, "I just wanted a glimpse of Santa."
"Are we sure he's fine?" Jen asks her girlfriend through clenched teeth, "He's 10 and still believes in Santa Claus. Nevermind thinking mall Santa is the real one."
"So he believes in the magic of Santa for as long as possible, I don't see anything wrong with that," Judy answers, predictably, and Jen's heart swells with love for her, just as predictably.
"It's fucking weird and he might get bullied," Charlie chimes in from Judy's other side.
"Hey! Language! And don't be a dick!" Jen snaps.
"I haven't burst his Santa bubble yet have I? And I'm just saying, I'm concerned about him being bullied."
"So sweet," Judy says, and Jen smiles as she sees her reach out to ruffle Charlie's hair. He pulls away with a "Hey!", but a smile on his face, too.
"There he is!" Henry stops when they reach a railing, gripping it and leaning over to get a better look at Santa's Village. "Wow, the line's long."
"Do you want to wait, boop? Your brother would be happy to wait with you while Judy and I do some shopping." Jen can feel Charlie's glare instantly.
"Nah, it's okay. There's nothing I really need to ask him for," Henry replies. Jen's heart clenches, and Judy squeezes her hand again. "What's that?" Henry asks in his next breath.
Jen looks to where he's pointing, right next to her. It's a giant Christmas tree, with Angel-shaped cards hanging all over it. A childhood memory comes back to her- being here with her own mother, in what became a tradition for a few years, up until the last Christmas they spent together.
"It's an Angel tree," Jen tells him, swallowing the lump in her throat. "It's for families who can't afford to buy their kids presents," she pauses, adds, "just in case Santa can't visit them for some reason, either."
"Oh," Henry's wide-eyed now, staring at the tree.
"The cards have their name and age and presents they'd like to get."
"That's cool," Charlie says, "Can we pick one?"
"Yeah! I want to pick one too!"
Jen can't speak for a moment, and Judy jumps in, "That's a great idea. Why don't you each pick one?" They step up to the tree, reading each card carefully, as Jen and Judy stay back and watch. "You're raising two wonderful young men, you know," Judy's words are filled with love.
"We," Jen corrects her, turning her head to catch Judy's eye.
"What?" Judy's eyebrows crease in confusion.
"We are raising two wonderful young men."
Judy's answering smile is blinding, and then she turns back to the tree. "I think my mom put me on one of those when I was younger. It was the only year I can remember having presents under the tree."
She doesn't sound sad, but it makes Jen's heart ache just the same. "What did you get?" She asks softly.
"My first set of paints," Judy answers immediately, "a new dress, and a silver locket. I loved it so much. I wore it all the time, but then the clasp broke and Mom said she'd get it fixed..."
"Yeah?" Jen is afraid to hear the rest of this story.
"I never got it back. I'm pretty sure she sold it for drug money."
Jen opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out, and it flashes in her mind- clear as day: Judy. Age 9. Needs shoes and dresses. Wants an art set and locket. "I'm sorry," she manages, finally.
Judy turns back to her, alarmed. "What for?"
"That happened to you. That it all did. You deserve everything in the world. I love you so much," she means it, more than she's ever meant anything, and she knows Judy believes it in how she smiles at her.
"I love you too, Jen," she says, eyes shining, "and it's okay." She looks back at the boys. "I have everything I could ever want."