Work Text:
“What in the absolute fresh burning hell is that?” Dean asked of his son.
Castiel stepped on his foot beneath the library table, and Dean glared at him. His boyfriend glared back, clearly saying, No swearing.
Dean clenched his jaw, and relented.
He turned back to Jack…
...who was wearing what was probably trying to be a clothing item, but it looked more like a paleontologist’s worst nightmare. The fabric of whatever the hell that was was a dark green, and there was dinosaur on it. That was incorrect too. The fucking featherless bastard.
On top of its weird ass head was a santa hat. A santa hat.
Let’s not forget the fucking arms. Because those had white puffballs on them like this was a kiddie project in school where you used cotton balls to make something that was supposedly cute, but actually wasn’t. The lights. The god damn rainbow lights that were lit up at the collar, the ends of his sleeves, and the bottom of his shirt finished the whole ensemble. For some reason, the button for the lights was big and red and placed far too close to the poor, naked T-Rex. The thing was basically a self-destruct button.
Dean wished it was.
Lord, save me.
“Sam took me out and bought me a sweater!” Jack exclaimed.
“It’s lovely,” Castiel told him.
Dean sputtered.
That didn’t remove the smile from Jack’s face. “Look at the back too!”
Their son turned around, all excited, and in red capitalized words in a Christmas-y font was the god-awful, Christmas nightmare of “MERRAWRWWY CHRISTMAS.”
Great. Now Dean knew what it looked like to puke up the holiday spirit.
The “RARWW” was emphasized with tiny jingle bells under it. Beneath the words was a giant tree that was trying to be festive, but really, dinosaurs should be left in the prehistoric time. They had absolutely nothing to do with a holiday Christians stole from the Pagans and dressed up as their own.
Dean a hand to his head, as he lowered it.
“The back is amazing,” his boyfriend praised.
Dean groaned.
Jack turned around and beamed at them.
God, this kid is weird. He sucked in a breath. I love him.
