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It's hard to look into your eyes
Knowing it might be the last time.
It's the first time. The first time for Hwang Minhyun to come undone with Aron not looking straight into his eyes.
He should've known. He could feel it.
This could be the last time they're doing this.
He used to lose his sanity every time their eyes meet—probably the main reason why he was in this situation.
That night, in the small living room of Baekho's clamped apartment, the moment their eyes met, as cliché as it may sound, he felt something sparked. He's not one to sleep around but the connection they had that night was too strong that he didn't regret anything that happened after. That one night became many nights of fooling and fucking around. The sex was good but the conversations they had after was even better. He felt like he found a friend in him, a confidant—someone whom he can share his troubles with, problems that he can't even say to his best friend.
It was easy being with Aron. It was good. But all good things come to an end, right?
Minhyun could feel it. There's finality on every thrust Aron made that night. And when he pulls out, he can also feel him slipping away. It felt empty.
He feels empty.
"Hyung... is this really the last time?" Minhyun asks as they bask in their glow. They used to do it—have small conversations, cuddle, even if they go against the rules of 'just fuck buddies' . But who set the rules, anyway?
Aron faces him and puts an arm around him. "What made you think that this is the last time?"
He scoots closer to Aron, so close that he's leaning on the older's chest. "It's just that… I feel like you're avoiding me these days. And I saw you getting close with Mingi…"
Aron tilts his head, making him look straight at him. "Are you… jealous?"
"Why would I be?" Minhyun avoids his gaze and scoffs bitterly. "Who am I to even be jealous, right? Why would I care if you laugh with Mingi or if you look at other people like you want to ruin—"
Before he could even finish his sentence, he felt warm lips on his. Aron kissed him full on the lips and he still responded. No matter how annoyed he is, he still kisses him back. He's that weak for Kwak Aron.
Aron smiles brightly at him, fondness evident on his face, almost adoring him. "You're cute Minhyun... You're so cute..."
Aron sits him up and makes him look in his eyes. "Minhyun, listen. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that way. I don't like Mingi, I mean, not in the way you think I do." Aron gives his hand a reassuring squeeze. "I... don't want to do this with anyone besides you. I’m only doing this because it's you."
"Why?" Minhyun asks, ignoring the way his heart almost skipped a beat with what Aron just said.
"Isn't it obvious?"
"Obvious?" He badly wants to believe that it's the same reason for Aron. That Aron sees him more than just a partner in bed. That there is something more between them. He wants to believe it, yet he still needs to hear it straight out from Aron's mouth.
"It's because I love you Minhyun. I really do."
"You do?"
Aron sighs. Minhyun looks perfect on the outside but, sometimes—most of the time—he could really be slow when it comes to things like this. "From the moment our eyes met, I liked you. I don't know, it's like something inside me was ignited and I can't just let the night pass by without talking to you, so I did. I was so ready to woo you and win you over.” Aron paused, and stared at him. “But you said that you're not ready for something serious... So I just took whatever I could get..."
Minhyun groaned inwardly, remembering exactly what he said that time when Aron jokingly asked him about relationships. He was flustered that he said something that he didn't really mean. At that time, it was true. He was still not ready for a commitment. Not with anyone else. But he knows that if Aron asked him, he might consider.
Aron’s the only exception, after all.
"...I'm an idiot, right?"
The fond smile never left Aron's face. He's still looking at Minhyun like he was the most interesting thing in the world. "Yes, you are. But, you're my idiot."
Minhyun smiles at him, finally letting himself be lost in the moment. "I love you, too, Aron hyung."
Aron kisses him again, and it's slow and sweet—full of love. Every worry Minhyun had dissipated immediately once he tasted his lips. Aron pushed him, making him lay down again, their kiss getting deeper and more passionate.
When they eventually broke the kiss, they just stared at each other with their faces really close for a while, and then he could see Aron smirking at him.
"Ready for round two?" He says, wiggling his eyebrows and grinding at him once, making him laugh and hard again.
And this time, they made love with their eyes connected while looking lovingly at each other.
I'm so in love with loving you, that's all I do
Is keep loving you
Where things will change, but I'll always be the same.