Work Text:
The seven of them piled out of the dorm with only half their wits present, hair askew and eyes still half-lidded with the lack of sleep. Jay watches as Heeseung, Sunghoon, and Sunoo are herded into one van, body moving in autopilot as he steps into the other with the remaining three in tow.
He knew it was gonna happen eventually, being an idol no longer a dream so far away when he stepped onto his platform in the debut zone just a few months ago, but it doesn't mean he isn't shell-shocked at the premise of it until now. He doesn’t allow himself to delve any further into a deeper state of thought and blocks out the rest by shoving his earbuds in, watching as Ni-ki and Jungwon manage to sneak in a nap in the back row. He sees Jake pass the time by starting up tetris on his phone, carefully sliding down blocks of color as he sees more and more rows of them dissipate by the minute.
They’re all so young, the others especially so, yet here they were at ass o’clock in the morning, on their way to a photo shoot for their first album. He thinks of the bickering that must’ve been occurring in the other van, Sunghoon unable to resist himself from poking fun at Sunoo to elicit a reaction from the younger, Heeseung joining in from time to time.
Heeseung.
He finds himself thinking of the older, something that’s been occurring more often than not lately, and he allows himself to look out into the skyline rushing past them -- something he’s pretty sure the older’s been taking pictures of for the past few minutes. He allows himself, in a rare occurrence of sentimentality, to look back at the past three years he’s undergone, glimpses of doe eyes tinting his memories like a beam of sunlight hitting stained glass. He remembers late evenings spent in training rooms, hushed whispers of "What if we don’t make it, Jongseong" tucked into borrowed hoodies and stolen beanies; thinks of the uncontrollable smile gracing his face the moment he saw the older step into view that first day of the show, momentarily forgetting the fact that they were competitors from that moment on.
He’ll be caught dead before saying it out loud, solid and concrete into the world, but he’ll never be able to forget the warmth the mere brush of a hand brought him in those three months, the fear and longing that squeezed painfully at his chest when he was pouring his soul out into that thick stack of letters he gave out to the rest when he thought he was done for. Life’s turning point, he thinks to himself, and even until now, he couldn’t possibly come up with a word that can better describe the place the older has carved for himself in Jay’s life. He thinks about the solid weight of long arms wrapped around him on the night of the final, a silent implication of together, we made it together being communicated before eventually having to part ways under the heavy glare of the studio cameras.
His mind wanders to the few days they’ve spent together as seven in the new dorm, all of them still struggling to adjust to the new set-up of things, everything vastly different from what they were used to as trainees. He recalls the flimsily printed shower schedule they’ve taped by the washroom door, the ever-present sound of banging pots during midnight when someone decides to heat up a serving of japchae after practice; one serving becoming seven as all of them end up huddling over their kitchen table after being lured by the fragrant smell of sesame oil.
He thinks of the youngest’s untouched bed as he switches from one hyung to another when night falls, still not used to the premise of sleeping alone in a bed too large for one. He thinks of early mornings for both him and Jungwon as they squeeze in a few periods of school before starting with the day’s schedule; of vlives with Jake and Sunghoon as they battle over who gets to be the leader of the 02s. He looks back at days where Sunoo becomes his only ray of hope, sitting quietly in their so-called makeup room as he sends another silent word of gratitude to the younger currently running a straightening iron through his hair.
He’s reminded of nights where he’s the last to return to the dorm, trying his best to shut the door behind him as quietly as possible. Nights where he trudges to bed with bones feeling like they’re being weighed down by lead, only to lift his covers to the sight of Heeseung sleeping soundly, another borrowed hoodie keeping him warm from the steady gust of the central air conditioning system.
He’s shaken out of his reverie by the opening of the van door beside him, looking around to notice they’ve already arrived at the filming site. He shakes the two sleeping at the back awake as he helps them out of the van, making sure none of them hit their heads on their way out. They enter the site to see the other three already there and waiting with their manager, the eldest having obviously just been woken up from his own nap judging from the spaced-out look he was currently donning. Knowing that the older tended to feel a little out of it in the first few minutes after waking up, he discreetly walks over to position himself next to Heeseung, feeling the older lean gratefully into his side. Jay decidedly ignores the snort coming from across him, courtesy of none other than the leader himself.
“To make things fast, we’ll be splitting you guys into groups of two -- one gets hair done first, the other makeup, and the two groups switch right after.” The set-up was met with no resistance as Jay gets sent off to the hair group with Jake and Ni-ki, hearing that they’ll be the ones who’ll be needing the most time and attention for that part anyway. Jay was thinking brown, maybe a honey blonde at most, but nothing prepared him for the sample picture their stylist showed him for what they’ll be putting his hair through for the group’s debut.
Platinum blonde.
Will Engenes even like it? Will he be able to pull it off well enough to look good in the photoshoot? Isn’t it too bold of a choice? Thoughts ran endlessly in his head as he observed the careful hands mixing bleach from behind him, but who was he if not the risk-taker of the group? Thus, he allows himself to sit through numerous layers of aluminum foil and product, making a mental note to splurge on the keratin variant of their usual conditioner the next time they go grocery shopping.
He sends a silent note of apology to his other half who he still hasn’t put a face to, pushing down the incessant thought that maybe, just maybe, someone from across the hall now bears a gaze of honey and gold.
--
The initial sting of the bleach went away after the first two sessions, only feeling the change in his hair whenever he ran his hands through the now crisper texture of it sitting atop his head; and of course whenever he chanced a look at the numerous mirrors surrounding them in the dressing room.
He personally thought it wasn’t so bad, the bold color bringing out the naturally sharp structure of his face. If before he started to doubt the faith he had in their stylists, he had absolutely no qualms about it now, seeing how his sharp eyes complemented the platinum blonde in order to fully flesh out the vampiric concept they were going for. He saw Ni-ki going through a similar period of reflection from beside him, being another member who went through a major color change -- and they both entertain Jake as he took selfies with his Malfoy hyung and dongsaeng.
--
“Time to switch stations!” He hears the footsteps of the four other members from behind the screen, and he walks alongside Jake and Ni-ki as they make their way to the other side of the set. He’s too preoccupied in fiddling with the sleeves of the billowy blouses they were put in that he feels more than sees himself bump into someone, looking up to meet a gaze of wine red.
Oh, Jay thinks to himself, Oh no.
Heeseung stood in front of him looking more awake than the last time Jay saw him, wide-eyed and gaze stuck to what Jay was guessing was his newly dyed hair. He wished he could throw in a cheeky remark about how starstruck the older looked at the moment, yet it would be hypocritical of him to do so when he can’t seem to take his eyes off the light sheen of gloss over the older’s lips, strokes of eye shadow further bringing out the other’s doe eyes.
Jay has a fleeting thought that if his own eyes embodied the vampire concept well with the predatory sharpness in which he carries them, then Heeseung suited it just as well (if not better, his biased mind supplies) with his big eyes shining bright; able to lure out just about anyone he could wish for with a single glance.
“Blonde.” Only barely was he able to register what came out of the older’s mouth, finally tearing his gaze away from the taunting glint of the silver earring dangling prettily from the other’s ear.
“Yeah, pretty handsome don’t you think?” Truth be told, all the bravado Jay carried was one built on sand, words not being backed up by the truth of self-belief. Rarely does he curse the many years he’s spent with the older to the point where they know each other like the back of their own hands, but he can’t help but do so right now as he watches the other’s reaction to his outburst. He knows he can’t fool the man standing in front of him, not when both of them are just two sides of the same coin when it comes to faking confidence.
“Yeah, unfairly so.” He already expected the older to not take the bait and would instead throw in a compliment or two to reassure Jay of his new look, but nothing could’ve prepared him for the heavy weight of the gaze that accompanied it -- intense in its sincerity and further magnified by the other’s maroon contacts, leaving Jay feeling cornered on the spot.
“Park Malfoy Jongseong!” The tension between the two snapped like a string pulled tight, being disrupted as Sunghoon slings an arm around him to inspect the new crown of blonde sitting atop his head from a closer distance. He watches as Heeseung sends a sheepish smile his way and passes by him with a single pat on the shoulder, leaving Jay alone with his thoughts and cheeks flushed crimson.
--
“Jay-ssi, did they already give you your contacts in the other set?”
Jay thinks their group may look like quite a sight right now, looking like a bunch of teens who just finished watching Twilight for the first time, deciding to go out donning Edward Cullen-esque cosplay the morning after.
“No, they-”
“Heeseung hyung, looking sharp!” Jay hears Sunoo’s teasing voice from across the room, gaze automatically shooting up at the mention of the older. Heeseung enters the room with his freshly dyed and styled hair, that damn cross earring still gently cradling the side of his jaw as Jay’s eyes continuously travel up before it lands on --
deep red hair.
Jay automatically shoots a glance at the mirror, seeing the same color of wine reflected in his eyes, and of course, only his luck could possibly do this, for everyone in the group. He shuts his eyes hard to make sure that one, his brain wasn’t just seeing Heeseung’s hair as the shade he wanted it to be, and two, that the red of his eyes was natural and not the product of contacts. Although he’s pretty sure he would’ve felt it if any of the stylists were poking around his eyes and shoving a covering of plastic over his pupils.
He opens his eyes and Heeseung is still there in his 18th century vampiric glory, hair a distinct deep red and Jay’s eyes lacking the uncomfortable feeling that should’ve been brought upon by the weight of contacts. He hears the stylist by his side call for him again, presumably waiting on an answer to their earlier question.
“Yeah, they said it might be safer for me to put the contacts in before bleaching since my hands might be contaminated with it if I try to put it on after.”
He sees Jake shoot him a questioning glance from beside him, the younger knowing that neither he nor Ni-ki were given contacts beforehand, but he decidedly keeps his mouth shut; but not without shooting a quick glance between Heeseung and Jay, much to the blonde’s chagrin. He knows Heeseung got his contacts in before they dyed Jay’s hair blonde, so he’s pretty sure that the other doesn’t know about the situation at hand. And maybe Jay’s scared that once they do get his contacts out, his eyes only remain their warm brown, but that’s a worry he’ll push aside until after the photoshoot. God, he can’t believe his professionalism extends to having to act calm when he’s found his damn soulmate out of all things possible.
He walks alongside the older as the seven of them make their way to the main set, watches as the red lights highlight the features of the man beside him.
“Your hair goes well with the concept, hyung.” He sees Heeseung shift to face him from his peripheral vision, refusing to meet the other’s eyes. Later, he thinks to himself, when he can meet with golden ones.
“Really? You think I’d pass off as a great vampire?” He playfully bares his teeth at the blonde, probably thinking of the action as something that makes him look like a Twilight auditionee reject. Jay tries not to let it show on his face that god, yes, you make the perfect vampire and snorts at the older’s action, tugging instead on that godforsaken cross dangling from the other’s ear.
“Thank the heavens you aren’t one then.” Or else I’d be bled out by now, Jay leaves unsaid.
--
Later, Jay reminds himself, you can have him all for yourself later, trying his best to keep his hands to himself as he watches Heeseung, pretty as all hell Heeseung, strike another doe-eyed look to the camera.
Minutes after, he tells himself he’s only imagining the heavy weight of a stare directed straight at him throughout the entirety of his own shoot, focusing his gaze on the lens in front of him than that of a redhead’s only a few steps away.
--
"Thank you for your hard work!" Exhausted, but genuine nonetheless, murmurs of gratitude resonate throughout the studio, trying to reduce the amount of noise they produce given that they’ve only finished filming in the middle of the night.
The members let out sighs of relief at the promise of finally being able to get out of the admittedly stunning yet undeniably uncomfortable outfits, Jungwon getting a headstart on everyone as he starts to free his fingers from the abundance of rings adorning them.
The damn cross earring.
Jay leans over to look at Heeseung and catches him just in time, his hands already well on their way to detaching the silver accessory hanging from his right ear.
“Hyung, wanna come with me and get these contacts off?” He knows it sounds as pitiful of an excuse as it can get, but Jay thinks that anything would do as long as gets that earring intact on the older’s ear. And all for himself when he finally catches a glimpse at the other’s eyes.
Heeseung seems to understand the distraction but thankfully doesn’t question the younger, way to make yourself even more appealing, Jay thinks, choosing instead to nod and lead the way to the washrooms at the further right wing of the studio.
“These things have been irritating my eyes all day, I’ve been waiting since the first second to get them off.” He stands beside Heeseung in front of the mirrors, washing his hands with the faucets stationed in front of them as he stalls time before the other questions him on why he’s yet to remove his contacts. Just as he was about to reach over and twist the faucet shut, he hears a sharp yet subdued intake of air from beside him, as if it were a gasp the older didn’t want him to hear. Jay tries to act as normally as possible and pretends to not have noticed the predicament the other was in, reaching to his right to procure some paper towels to wipe his hands with.
“Say, Jongseong-ah,” Jay’s heart feels like it’s about to sink straight through the ground and six feet under, hiding the shake of his hands under the guise of patting them dry.
“Is there even a fraction of a chance for eyes to get infected when wearing contacts?” Jay shoots a glance at the mirrors, watches as Heeseung’s hand was frozen mid-air, torn between freeing his eyes of the uncomfortable plastic and fearing what he’ll find behind them.
“Infection? I think not, but I’m not so sure. Let me take a look if you really think it hurts?”
“No, it’s not that, it’s just,” Jay knows it isn’t his imagination when he sees the older shoot a quick glance at his blonde hair.
“It’s either I somehow tore a part of my eye with these things, or my soulmate just got themselves a sick dye job.” The ball’s been dropped, but Jay at this point isn’t sure if Heeseung’s already seen the exact color.
“Let me see.” He’s not sure if he’s just imagining the tension pulled taut like a string in the air between them, the otherwise silent room only being disrupted by the occasional drip of water from the faucet.
“Okay.” His vision is then flooded with locks of red and ruffles of white, Heeseung turning to face him and if Jay’s hands would work with him right now that would be quite nice, he thinks to himself. He holds the older’s right eye open with his left hand as the other reaches up and finally gets a grasp on the colored plastic, praying to any deity listening that his hands don’t shake under the weight of the eyes staring at him from only a few inches away.
He sends a silent word of gratitude to the nearly three years of training he went through that his knees didn’t give in right at that moment.
Staring back at him with a gaze far too knowing for his liking is his hyung, his friend ( maybe something past that for way too long, his mind supplies), irises tinted with shades of marigold and the beginnings of the sunset, taking the place of what used to be serene streaks of hazelnut brown. Heeseung must’ve registered a shift in the expression the blonde was wearing, shooting a glance to the mirrors placed just across them.
It’s during times like this that Jay curses the years of training the older also has up his sleeve, being able to control the amount of emotion he displays on his face.
“Huh.” It was quite a sight, Heeseung standing there with a single uncovered golden eye, the other still artificially stained red; being the complete embodiment of the vampiric concept as both of them are yet to change back from the victorian-esque blouses they don.
“I guess I have to make sure this isn’t just an aftereffect of the lens, then. Can I see how your eyes look?” The two of them stand there, deep red meeting amber as a steady zing of something reverberates around the room.
“I’m not wearing any contacts.” This, finally, seems to get a reaction from the older.
Jay proves his point by twisting the faucet open and splashing water directly onto his eyes, pushing back the thought of maybe there was a less painful way I could’ve done this as he sees the veil of uncertainty finally lift itself from the other’s eyes. He reaches blindly for more paper towels until he feels a hand push a heap of them into his grasp, patting his face dry and trying to dry the victimized collar of his blouse to the best of his abilities, already foreseeing the sermon he’ll be receiving from his stylist in a while.
He feels a soft touch brush away wet strands of blonde from his face that fell victim to his impulsive mini shower, watches as Heeseung seemingly commits to memory the burgundy gaze of wine that stared back at him. Jay finally reaches over to free the redhead’s other eye from the tinted plastic hiding it privy from the world, unprepared to carry the full weight of the golden gaze placed upon him.
He’s not sure how long the pair of them have been standing there, but he breaks out of his own reverie when Heeseung’s signature smile breaks itself out from in front of him, the bright glint of the other’s doe eyes being further highlighted by the glimmering tint that covers them.
"We really do look good together, huh." Jay never wanted to admit it out loud, never wanted to solidify the thought into words thrown out into the open, but as he watches eyes of burgundy and gold match with the hair of that standing beside them, he can't help but admit it to the latter. He watches as a sheen of red fills the other's face, refusing to acknowledge the steady rise of the color on his own.
“Maybe I’ll ask the stylists to dye my hair bright blue for our comeback.” The bright laugh of the redhead echoes in the bathroom, Jay not being able to take his eyes away from the sight of Heeseung’s unrestricted happiness even if he tried.
“Not if I dye my hair neon green.”
“Is that a challenge? Do you really want me to go and look for glow-in-the-dark dye, Jongseongie?” They both cackle at the empty challenges thrown at each other, and Jay can’t help but think yeah, everything’s alright between them --
More than alright, his mind supplies, as he catches sight of the back and forth swing of their intertwined hands through the mirror.
--
“I can’t believe I have to wear contacts every single day for the next two months.” He and Heeseung were alone in the living room, allotting a moment for themselves after the chaos that was telling the rest of the members.
(“I knew I should’ve pushed through with my plan to tint Jay’s shampoo with dye four months ago.” Sunghoon cackles when he catches sight of them walking hand-in-hand towards them from the washroom, Heeseung refusing to meet any of the youngers’ eyes while Jay just proudly swings their hands between them. If there were such a thing as a soulmate lottery, he thinks to himself, he’s pretty sure he’d be crowned as hitting the jackpot, and who was he if not a bit of a show-off when it came to winning?
Jungwon laughs as he pats Heeseung’s shoulder, having fallen victim to the older’s bouts of romantic worries for Jay that he shared during their late-night visits to Han river during their trainee days. I told you so, he communicates through the stare he directs at the redhead, being met with a sheepish but thankful grin in return.
All the merrymaking soon ends with a shared group hug for the seven of them, the worry that squeezed itself around Heeseung’s chest finally dissipating. He meets Jay’s gaze from across the circle, losing himself for a while in the color of them, and finds that he can’t control the wide grin that makes itself present on his face.
“Who’s straight anyway at this point in time.” He vaguely registers Jake piping up from beside him, hearing the shocked laugh of Sunoo from his other side, Ni-ki trying to stop himself from doubling over in laughter of his own.)
Heeseung’s head was pillowed in his lap, streaks of burgundy framing his face in now unstyled tufts of hair. Jay runs his hand through the softness of it, pushing down a grin as he feels the older lean into the touch. In the darkness of the room, the other’s gaze was more like honey, something more subtle than the sharp strike of lightning it was a few hours ago.
“I’m not complaining, that means I get to keep your pretty eyes all to myself.” He lets out a slightly pained cough at the slap aimed at his abdomen after he let out the remark, trying to contain his laughter to avoid waking the others in the sleeping quarters just a few steps away. He watches as the other sits up from the comfort of the couch with his face hidden behind his hands, cheeks still left quite flustered at the earlier statement. Jay vaguely registers that I can actually call him pretty as many times as I want to now, and vows to himself to do so in any given opportunity if it means getting to see the older all happy like he is at the moment.
"It's unfair how good you look with your red eyes. Kinda threw me back to my Twilight phase back in 2008. I’ve always been part of Team Edward anyway." The pair of them now sit opposite each other, legs a tangled mess in between them as Heeseung reaches up to cradle the blonde’s jaw in one hand, Jay allowing himself to lean into the gentle touch. He watches as the older lets out a small smile at the comfort of it all; feels the soft brush of a thumb over the steadily growing smile blooming across his own face.
And if having to wake up a few minutes earlier in the morning to put on brown-tinted contacts with a sleepy Heeseung in tow engrains itself as a new part of his daily routine, he thinks it's a price worth paying as he feels the older cling to his back, sleep-ridden and head nodding off every so often over his shoulder. He allows himself to take in the golden eyes occasionally hidden away by the steady fluttering of lashes as the other attempts to shake himself awake, distracted enough that he flushes bright crimson when he feels the soft pressure of the redhead's lips on his right cheek.
He watches as Heeseung cheekily runs out of the bathroom -- presumably to bother the younger members to start a dare for today’s ending fairy -- and laughs to himself as he looks at the red reflected on both his eyes and cheeks, the older still managing to leave traces of himself in Jay’s life without even trying.