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They’re little kids when all four of them are in a room together and Teresa is surprised to see a different face. She’s got dark brown eyes and crooked smile. Teresa finds herself curious, because she has never met a girl her age in the past few years. Rachel smiles and it’s so cutesy and sunshine and so far off than what Teresa usually puts up with, but Teresa feels good to know she’s there.
***
They’re around five when WICKED starts finalizing the variables for Group B. They call in Teresa and Rachel for more info about what would work for the other girls. They make Teresa and Rachel go through a series of tests and brain scans to pinpoint who would be a better addition to the Group B trials. They interrogate them, hook them up onto wires, let them figure out patterns, give them a serum to sleep and map out their dreams. It’s the most exhausting and traumatic procedure they made them go through so far, so when the scientists say they can go, Rachel and Teresa outrun the guards and hide into a small storage room. They don’t say anything. They kind of just fall into each other’s arms and cry. The guards find them a couple hours later, both asleep against the wall with Teresa resting on Rachel’s shoulder. Ever since, they’ve had a special bond. Sure, Thomas is Teresa’s best friend and Aris is Rachel’s. But what Rachel and Teresa have is different. It’s something they can’t explain. All they know is that they knew they understood each other in a way no one else could.
***
They’re around ten when they manage to escape their rooms for the first time. Rachel, genius that she is, hacked into the security code of Teresa’s room after getting out of her own room and Teresa is looking at her like some kind of hero. It’s night time and most of the guards are sleeping at their posts and they sneak around the rest of WICKED beyond the one floor the scientists and guards keep them in. They peek into the dorms of the other kids though they’re careful not to wake them, they go through the records room as they steal some of the info they have on them, they break into the kitchen and take some of the better food – because they’re beyond tired of the bland crap – for Thomas and Aris. A couple hours before the sunrise, Teresa finds a back room with a fire escape. Of course, they’re not stupid enough to try to run away, but they know that it goes all the way up to the rooftop and it’s been a while since they’ve been outside and the concept of fresh air is foreign to them. Rachel asks if they should wake Thomas and Aris. Teresa whispers, “It’s too risky. We’ll bring them next time, I promise.” Then she adds, “Besides, it’s nice. Just us girls this time.”
Rachel rolls her eyes and mutters, “We’re together as much as you and Thomas are.”
Teresa says, “Yeah, but it would be nice to your hold your hand and not because they’re poking wires and needles into us”
Rachel doesn’t know what to make of what Teresa said, but she blushes and takes her hand anyway, right before Teresa leads her up the rooftop to watch the sunrise.
***
They’re eleven and they never believed the scientists were serious when they said that Rachel, Teresa, Aris, and Thomas could establish contact telepathically. When WICKED tells them that it’s activated already and puts them in an observation room with four chairs facing each other, they have no clue what to do. How is this supposed to work?
Thomas laughs. “Do they honestly expect us to pick this up just because they left us alone?”
Rachel snorts. “Since when do you think they’re capable of thinking of good methods?”
“Well excuse me, but after all the wires and screens and needles and scans, you’d think they’d have something more advanced in mind than making us face each other and hope for the best,” Thomas retorts.
Aris chuckles. “Okay, but seriously, how is this supposed to work? Do I just scream your names in my head or?”
“Well that’s worth a try,” Rachel says sarcastically. Aris sticks a tongue out at her.
Thomas groans. “It’s going to take forever until one of us – YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME, TERESA.”
Thomas stood up so fast his chair fell backwards. There’s a horrified look on his face, and Rachel almost wants to laugh. But instead she looks at Teresa – who has been quiet this whole time – who has a growing smug smirk on her face.
“Tess, what’s his pro-” Rachel starts to ask, but something erupts in her head. Teresa’s voice.
Hey, Rachel.
Her name has never sounded so beautiful before.
***
The following night, Rachel is sitting cross-legged with Aris on his bed. She’s facing him with her eyes tightly shut and her fingers plastered against her temples. Trying to relax, she imagines the words flowing from her and into Aris’ head. When she opens her eyes, she finds Aris biting down his lip to keep himself from laughing.
She reaches over and punches him in the arm. “At least I’m making an effort!”
He smiles and places a hand on her knee. “They don’t expect us to have control over it immediately. They’re giving us a few months to get it right.”
“Teresa could do it.”
“From the seven years I’ve spent here, all I’ve learned is that I shouldn’t compare myself to Teresa Agnes. That girl is some kind of a superior being, I swear.”
Rachel laughs, shaking her head fondly. “Yeah, she is pretty amazing.”
Before she falls asleep, all cuddled up against Aris, she hears the voice in her head again.
Sleep tight, Rach. Can’t wait until you nerds can do this too. Talking to you before I sleep might just take away the nightmares. I love you.
Rachel is sure Teresa meant to direct that last bit to Thomas in the next room, but she silently thinks, I love you too.
She feels Aris stiffen – and then chuckle beside her.
“What?”
“Congrats, you got the hang of it,” he sleepily mumbles. “Wrong person, though.”
Her heartbeat picks up speed as she elbows and turns away from him. “Shut up, that was meant for you.”
“Sure it was, buddy,” he says before yawning. “By the way, say goodnight to Teresa for me.”
You’re an idiot, Aris. Let me sleep.
Aris scoffs. “Show off.”
***
They’re twelve and it’s getting a lot harder for WICKED to keep the other kids from the four. One day, Thomas, Aris, Rachel, and Teresa sneak into the cafeteria. There are so many kids in there that the guards don’t notice. They spend a lot of time talking to them, and for once, they feel normal.
Thomas and Aris meet the guys, and they’re being rowdy and stupid so Teresa and Rachel sit with some of the girls. The other kids don’t talk about the mysterious meetings, and the rumour about trials, because they don’t want to put the four kids in that position. So they talk about things like “Do you guys ever see that Janson guy in anything other than that pretentious white suit he looks fucking creepy” or “I’m pretty sure Beth and Gally stole a few good books from the library, we could lend you some if you want” or “Yeah, I mean, Thomas is cute, but have you two seen Alby and Minho, Oh my god.” Somehow, it leads to some of the younger girls getting all giddy and asking if there’s anything going on between Teresa and Thomas. Rachel holds her breath and looks away. She exhales with relief when Teresa starts laughing and doesn’t stop.
However, when Rachel manages to sneak into Teresa’s room once more and they’re staying up, talking, she asks Teresa is she really meant it. Teresa rolls her eyes again. “Thomas? Nah, really, he’s my best friend. I’m sure I had a crush on him at one point, but I managed to come to my senses.”
Rachel smiles, and asks again. “So…do you like anyone? I mean, the boys are pretty cute.”
Teresa just chuckles and says, “Girls are pretty cute too.”
Rachel feels her heart do a slow flip and she raises her eyebrows. “You like girls.”
Teresa and shrugs. “And boys.”
“But mostly girls?”
“Mostly a girl.”
Rachel feels her face flush and she looks down shyly. “Me too.”
“You too what?” Teresa prompts, but Rachel can hear the sureness in her voice already. “You like girls?”
“A girl,” Rachel says, echoing Teresa’s answer.
“Who?” Teresa says with a smirk.
“Are you really going to make me say it out loud?” Rachel groans, glaring at her.
Teresa laughs. Technically, you don’t have to say anything out loud anymore if you don’t want to.
Rachel rolls her eyes. You. I like you.
Teresa takes her hand. That’s more like it.
***
They’re around fourteen when they start sending in half the kids. Rachel and Teresa were there in the room when the Swipe was done on the girls. They thought it would be easy to watch. For the past eight years, they knew this was coming, they have been preparing for this. But here they are now, in front a deck of screens monitoring the brain patterns in the young girls’ heads. Teresa keys in the codes for the database of WICKED and records the progress of the Swipe as Rachel stands next to her, with her hand on Teresa’s shoulder.
As Teresa preoccupies herself with the computers, Rachel stares through the glass window. Through it, she sees a vast room with a low ceiling and a jumble of wires connecting to the girls’ heads as they lie in several rows with a doctor and a nurse by their side, prepping them as they stay still, unconscious. She sees the doctor attending to Sonya lowering the mask onto her face, and Rachel feels a tug in her heart and the urge to look away. But before she can, the doctor signals the other doctors to do the same and then stand by. Rachel has seen a lot of horrifying things in her young life, but she knows that the view of beautiful, innocent faces being hidden away beneath masks that will strip away everything they know in their lives is something that she won’t be able to shake away from her memory.
Then the doctor looks at Rachel and nods. Rachel’s hands feel heavier than ever when she types in the activation code to the main computer. As soon she finishes, she hears a few beeps and a whirring noise. Rachel turns and watches as tubes and wires slither up the girls’ arms and sink themselves into the canals of their ears.
The girls are unconscious, but anyone can see the look of pain on their faces. Their hands ball into fists at their sides, twitching against the restraints. Rachel loses it when she sees tears streaming down their sleeping faces.
Teresa stands up immediately and catches Rachel into her arms. The younger girl sobs into Teresa’s shoulder and Teresa holds her tight.
“Hey,” she murmurs into Rachel’s hair. “This is going to be worth it. We’re doing the right thing.”
“Right…” Rachel manages between sobs, still crying into Teresa’s shirt.
“No, don’t be like that,” Teresa says as she rests her chin atop Rachel’s head and wipes away her own silent tears. “I promise everything will be okay. I promise.”
****
They’re fifteen and Rachel is really sick. It’s nothing serious and she just underwent a series of tests WICKED was adamant on running to make sure it wasn’t. It’s just the usual fever and cold. WICKED doesn’t ask her to do anything else that day and tells her to rest. Rachel almost believes they’re being decent before she realizes that she needs to recover and be in perfect shape if she has to take part in their procedures.
That night, Teresa sneaks in without waking Rachel. So when Rachel wakes, her first view is Teresa fast asleep in the chair pulled up next to her bed. The early sunlight is streaming through from the one high window in her room, making even Teresa’s dark hair glow in the gleam of the morning. At her side table is a glass of water, a fresh box of tissues, and a couple pills. All of which weren’t there when she fell asleep last night. She looks down and notices Teresa’s hand loosely wrapped around hers. She feels like crying right then and there because she knows she only has roughly around one year with her. And Teresa doesn’t know that. She can’t.
Rachel sits up and smiles sadly when the movement causes Teresa to tighten her grip on Rachel’s hand.
You could have woken me last night, you know.
It startles Teresa a bit as she jolts awake, straightening. She yawns and stretches, wincing as her back cracks. “Ah, fuck.”
“Not the most comfortable position?”
Teresa smiles groggily at her. “Shut up, Rach.” Then she leans in, murmuring, “Good morning…”
Rachel dodges her. “I’m sick. You’ll get sick.”
Laughing, Teresa shakes her head. “We’re immune from a virus that’s killing off majority of mankind. I’m pretty sure I can handle a fucking cold.”
Rachel rolls her eyes and is about to retort when suddenly Teresa’s lips are on hers. She feels her heart flutter as she feels Teresa smile against her mouth.
At that point, she’s pretty sure she’s in love.
***
They’re sixteen and Rachel is on one of the operating tables they put the other kids on before taking away their memories and sending them to the mazes. Thomas will be escorted into the next room any minute now, to mirror her fate.
She’s all strapped into the table and the sleeping serum is starting to get to her. There’s a dizzy buzz in her ears and her eyelids start to feel really heavy.
Aris and Teresa are right next to her. Aris leans in to kiss her forehead and she feels the wetness of his face. He murmurs, “I’ll leave you two to say goodbye. I’ll just be on the other side of that glass window. You can do this. I’ll see you soon, okay? I love you.”
She barely has the energy to nod before Aris leaves her side. I love you too, Aris.
Teresa squeezes her hand and plants a quick kiss on her lips. “I have to go see Thomas now, okay?”
Mmkay…
“I love you, Rach. So much.” Rachel vaguely registers the cracks in her voice and the heavy breathing in her words, as if she’s fighting back the tears.
Rachel feels her own lips form words, but heavily drugged and exhausted, she doesn’t fully take notice of what she just replied to Teresa. Whatever it is, it leaves Teresa speechless and with an expression of a kicked puppy.
Seconds later, all she sees is darkness, and all she feels is pain.
***
After they remove the Swipe, Teresa wakes in an uproar.
Scientists and doctors rush to grab her wrists and legs, but she thrashes against their restraints.
Sobbing, Teresa elbows a scientist in the crotch and starts kicking at the doctors. “YOU KILLED HER. ALL OF YOU ARE MURDERERS. DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME, LET ME GO!”
“Hold her down!” a doctor yells at her nurses and a few guards advance towards her. Teresa punches the doctor pinning down her torso and she yanks herself away from the grips of the other guards. She’s about go for a Launcher disposed onto the floor, when she hears a voice from the other side of the room.
“Teresa.”
She runs to Aris’ arms in an instant.
They fall on the floor to their knees, and Aris is shaking as Teresa sobs into his chest and clutches at his shirt. Aris cries into her hair, hyperventilating
“I…I just stood there. I watched…I watched her die barely knowing who she was…I mean; I know she was best friend. But… I didn’t know her.”
“Aris…” Teresa manages. A part of her barely functioning head is wondering how she still manages to talk when she feels like shards of glass are shoved into her throat and there’s an empty void in her chest where her heart dropped from. “Not…It’s not your fault. Your last moment with her doesn’t define everything else you had with her.”
Teresa wants to continue, but the tears won’t stop flowing and the guards are urging them to stand up. She holds on to Aris, choking on her own sobs, as she wonders whether she’s trying to convince Aris that, or herself, because heaven knows she can’t get her last moment with Rachel off her mind. Heaven knows she wishes it was just the drugs and the exhaustion talking Rachel’s last words before succumbing to sleep before her Swipe. There’s no way she’d let that define everything she had with Rachel.
A part of her wants to beg the doctors to take away that one memory once more. It replays in her head again and again.
***
“I have to go see Thomas now, okay?” Teresa whispered to Rachel.
Mmkay…
“I love you, Rach. So much.” Teresa fought back the tears but she can barely hide the cracks in her unsteady voice.
Rachel’s eyes were fluttering and her hands were growing limp. Teresa thought she wouldn’t get a response from her as the tranquilizing serum moved faster in Rachel’s veins. But right before Rachel’s eyes closed for good until she wakes up in The Box, she speaks.
“You promised everything will be okay. You promised me.”