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In the Skeld Administration System, the beans are composed of two separate yet equally important groups. The Crewmates performing tasks on the ship, and the Imposters, attempting to sabotage and destroy them. These are their stories.
ELECTRICAL: 2:42 p.m.
“Did you see the game last night?” Green asked, waiting for the Electrical doors to open. It had been an issue lately, doors around the ship randomly locking shut, then opening back up again after a short while. It wasn’t a huge deal, just a minor inconvenience. No one had ever been permanently locked out of any departments, so the company had never taken any action. Just one more problem to deal with among all the faulty wiring, trash piling up . . .
“Yeah,” Purple said, following Green into the dimly lit chamber. “I tell you, those refs were blind!”
“You’re telling me,” Green snorted. “I had some money on the home team, and—” Green peeked around the server, jaw dropping at what he saw.
“Uh-huh?” Purple asked. “And what? What did you—”
Purple stopped, too, seeing the same thing Green did.
“Is that . . .?” Purple asked.
Green nodded. “White,” Green said. Though, really, it was what was left of White. Just legs, a lower torso, and one large bone, sticking up from the pool of blood.
Purple swore, kicking at the server. “Another one,” Purple said. “You know what to do.”
Green reached for their bullhorn. “Time to report . . .”
ADMIN: 3:08 p.m.
“Dammit, beans!” Brown said, pounding their fist on the console. “We’ve already lost two Crewmates on this ship, and there is clearly at least one more Imposter Among Us. Now what leads do you have for me?”
Blue could see Cyan was intimidated by Brown’s bluster. Cy was a rookie, new to the Skeld, not used to seeing things like this. They’d get used to it. Eventually. Really, the Skeld wasn’t so bad. Blue had transferred here after a year’s tour on Polus. After that, a few giant bones sticking out of corpses was, unfortunately, no great surprise.
“We-we have word that Pink’s been working Security lately,” Cyan reported, trying to regain composure. “Figured we’d pop over there, see if anything showed up on the cameras.”
Blue nodded. “We have some leads in MedBay, too. We’ll swing up there afterwards.”
“Good,” Brown said. “I don’t mean to be harsh, but things have gotten out of control here. Beans are starting to demand we not skip airlocking votes. Yellow’s breathing down my neck about this! If we don’t gather together the evidence we need, innocent Crewmates could end up getting launched out into space!”
“Of course,” Blue said. “We’re on it.”
“I know you’ve got it,” Brown said. “You’re my best beans for the job. You’re both wearing police hats.”
“You wanna come with, boss?” Blue asked. “Get out in the field?”
Brown sighed. “Maybe later,” they said. “I’m still trying to scan my ID Card.”
SECURITY: 3:14 p.m.
“Look, beans, I’m busy,” Pink said. “Lots of cameras to monitor here.”
“Just look at the picture,” Cyan said, trying to push the photograph of White—back when White was alive—into Cyan’s face. “Maybe you monitored this bean earlier today?”
“I tell you, I don’t have time for this!” Pink insisted.
“Oh yeah?” Blue asked. “Maybe we should be asking you what tasks you’ve been doing lately.”
Pink paused, turning around. “Fine,” Pink said. “You have thirty seconds discussion time. Go.”
“The photograph,” Cyan pressed.
“White? Yeah, I know ‘em,” Pink said. “Saw them going into the Reactor, but that was hours ago.”
“Who else was there with them?” Blue asked.
“I don’t know,” Pink said. “A lot of beans. People have been going in and out of the Reactor all day.”
“How about this,” Cyan asked. “Who ended up leaving with White?”
“Not sure . . .” Pink said, thinking, “I think I might have been fixing the wires in here when White left. Wasn’t watching the cameras. Why? Did something happen to White?”
“Yeah . . .” Cyan sighed, turning to leave with blue. “Something happened.”
REACTOR: 3:19 p.m.
“Oh, sure,” Special Guest Star John Stamos told Cyan and Blue. “White was in here earlier. Two of us stopped the meltdown that was triggered this morning.”
“Anyone else with them?” Blue asked.
“Green and Tan were here, I think?” Special Guest Star John Stamos said. “Black tried to come in from the Upper Engine during the crisis, but the doors locked before they could.”
“Lot of doors been locking lately,” Cyan said. “Have any theories about that?”
“I’m just a normal, workaday Crewmate bean, just like you two,” Special Guest Star John Stamos said. “I don’t know anything about doors. All I know is I’m glad the Reactor saves my progress when an Emergency Meeting is called and I get pulled away from my damn job!”
“We all have jobs to do,” Blue said. “Right now, ours is solving a murder!”
“What about the vents?” Special Guest Star John Stamos asked. “Where was White found?”
“Where?” Cyan said.
“Yeah, where?” Special Guest Star John Stamos replied.
“Electrical, why?” Blue asked.
“Well, there’s vents in Electrical, right?” Special Guest Star John Stamos explained. “Normal Crewmate couldn’t squeeze through them, but an Imposter?”
Cyan glanced over to either side. “We’ve got vents in here,” Cyan said. “How do we know you didn’t go through a vent?”
“I guess you don’t,” Special Guest Star John Stamos said. “But thing is, Reactor vents don’t connect to Electrical. You want to figure out who killed White, you need to check the connections in MedBay and Security.”
MEDBAY: 3:32 p.m.
Black was standing by the fuel pump in the Upper Engine as Blue and Cyan went to MedBay, and the two officer beans asked Black to follow them. Along the way, Black explained that they had been in MedBay earlier, with Red, but didn’t think Red was acting sus at the time.
“I had too many other tasks to do to finish up at the time,” Black explained. “I didn’t want to just hang around the bay waiting for my sample inspection to finish up, but Red was, I believe, offering to let me watch them scan.”
Red was leaving MedBay when Blue and Cyan arrived, but confirmed that they had been in there together earlier. No one else had entered, no one else had left.
“Shame you all got here now,” Red said. “I’ve just finished scanning.”
“What about the vents here?” Cyan asked. “Have you seen anyone go in or out of those?”
Black and Red looked at each other. “Not sure . . .” Black said, thinking.
“When I first came in,” Red said, “I thought I saw something flip down. The clang of metal. I just thought it was one of those weird things happening around the ship, like the doors, you know?”
“We’re looking into those, too,” Blue said.
“Well, maybe it could have been the vent?” Red asked.
“But neither of you saw anyone coming to MedBay before you beans did?” Cyan asked.
Both shook their heads. Cyan sighed, and turned around, leaving the Bay with Blue.
“Not much help there,” Cyan said.
“Maybe,” Blue thought. “But you know, these kinds of problems don’t always get solved by catching Impostors in the act. Sometimes, you have to piece the clues together.”
“You got any clues I don’t know about?” Cyan asked.
Blue stroked their chin, thinking, before taking a left at the fork out of MedBay and heading back toward the stern of the Skeld. “I don’t!” Blue said, picking up the pace, “but I think I know someone who might.”
“Where are we going, Security?” Cyan asked. “Because the other vent to Electrical was in there, right? What if . . . could Pink be the Impostor?”
“Pink’s not sus. Not for now,” Blue said. “But think about it—there’s a camera right outside of MedBay. What if Pink saw someone go in before Red or Black did. Someone who didn’t leave . . .”
Cyan pounded a fist into their hand. “You mean, didn’t leave through the door!”
“Exactly, Cy!” Blue said. “We find who Red saw closing that vent, and we find our Impostor!”
“Great thinking, Blue,” Cyan exclaimed, as the two picked up 0.25 extra speed, running to Security. “It’s almost as good as having cameras right there in the MedBay.”
“Shame we don’t,” Blue said. “We’d be able to find out who vented and clear Red by watching them scan.”
“Not today, though, right?” Cyan said. “Visual Tasks are Off this trip, aren’t they?”
Blue suddenly stopped.
“What did you say?” Blue asked.
“Visual Tasks are Off.”
“Oh no, if Visual Tasks are off . . .” Blue began.
“Then why did Red want Black to stick around to watch them scan?” Cyan finished.
They turned around and broke into a run back to MedBay, moments too late for Black. Red was standing there by the scanner, pistol in hand, fresh smoke coming from the barrel. Black was slumped over by the specimen inspection station, now nothing more than half a bean and a large white bone.
Red snarled, turning the pistol to point at Blue.
“Blue, no!” Cyan shouted.
Red pulled the trigger.
*Click*
“Cooldown’s not finished,” Blue said, calmly reaching for their megaphone. “Let’s call it in, we found our Impostor.”
CAFETERIA: 5:22 p.m.
The crew had over a full minute of voting time when Black’s murder was called in, but they didn’t need to take that long. Despite Red’s protests that Blue and Cyan must be working together as Impostors, Green and Lime both mentioned they had been sussing Red earlier after the incident with the oxygen leak, and Brown was willing to back the officers’ work. All the other beans fell in line, and with a final, spiteful vote, Red self-voted, ending deliberations, and launching themselves out into space.
Red was the Impostor. The Skeld was safe.
And Blue and Cyan had been treating themselves to a series of drinks in the Cafeteria afterwards, celebrating a job well done. But the afternoon was running long, and Cyan finally got up to go home. Cyan had a Mini Crewmate back in their bunker to take care of. Blue stayed behind. One last drink. Then one more last drink. Then a final one . . .
Long day, but it was over now. Red was the Impostor. Took the vents from MedBay to Electrical to kill White, then vented back. It was lucky they’d talked with Special Guest Star John Stamos to know which vents went where.
…
How did he know where the vents went?
Blue sprung up from the table, rushing out the doors to the hallway. They looked to the left.
It was too late.
Special Guest Star John Stamos was in the MedBay, giant mouth opened in what appeared to be their stomach, a long spike-like tongue extended upwards, spearing Cyan through the visor of their helmet. The “normal” face of Special Guest Star John Stamos turned to Blue and started to scream. Something loud and erratic, constantly raising in pitch, sounding like a demented train whistle, no sound that any bean Blue had ever met before could make. Blue reached for their megaphone to call in the alert, but the doors to MedBay suddenly slammed shut.
Damn, Blue thought. Couldn’t report a body that they couldn’t see. There was still the possibility to call an Emergency Meeting, just back there in the Cafeteria.
Blue turned. The Cafeteria doors closed with a crash. No body to report. No button. Thirty second cooldown. Where to hide?
Blue rushed into the Upper Engine, keeping away from the vent. Was it safer than the Reactor? Security was out, it would all connect to MedBay’s vent. Would Special Guest Star John Stamos try to leave from there, or from Electrical?
Snarling coming from down the hall. That’d be Security. Blue glanced over to the pathway back to Cafeteria. Would it open back up by the time Blue ran there, or would they be running into a very literal dead end?
Imposters could see farther than Crewmates, but they weren’t faster. Were they?
Blue took a deep breath, decided to chance it, broke away from their cover behind the railing, started to run . . .
EMERGENCY MEETING: 5:45 p.m.
Blue was in the Cafeteria. Hadn’t made it to the door. Blue was just . . . here.
So were all the others.
So was Special Guest Star John Stamos.
Cyan wasn’t.
Tan shrugged. “I was bored,” they said. “I called the meeting just to say hi, see what was up. Hey, is anyone sus?”
“Yeah,” Blue said wryly, as Special Guest Star John Stamos stared at them from across the table. “I know who’s sus . . .”
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: DICK WOLF