Chapter Text
If anyone were to ask whether he was content with his life, Minho wouldn’t hesitate to say yes. Even though his dreams of going to college overseas were crushed in his senior year of high school by the revelation that his parents could indeed not afford to send him off to a different continent to study, he is quite happy with his current situation. He never regretted boarding the train from Gimpo to Seoul instead of a plane to the States in order to start his new, independent and slightly terrifying university life. Sure, Minho feels like dying some days, especially after a week of lectures, studying and working five nights out of the week in a grocery store off campus, but he’s got great friends who always get him through every stress-induced breakdown.
Another advantage of having those wonderful friends is that Minho can crash at their places whenever he doesn’t feel like being alone in his own ratty little apartment. (it’s all he can afford with the money he makes from his job aside from his tuition. It’s also big enough for one person, so he refuses to complain. Even though it really is a little shitty.) He doesn’t know whether his friends appreciate him being a guest in their homes almost weekly, but he sure as hell isn’t going to take any risks of them banning him from spontaneous sleepovers by asking.
So, as Minho is making his way home from his work shift on a Thursday night, he realizes he hasn’t actually seen any of his friends in nearly 4 days and changes directions to his friend Seungmin’s apartment instead of his own. He’s really not in the mood to feel lonely tonight.
"What the fuck are you doing here," Seungmin hisses at Minho after opening the door.
Which, rude, but to be honest, Minho can’t really blame him. God knows his reaction to someone ringing the doorbell like seven times in a row at 10:30 PM, especially on a weekday, would be a whole lot less friendly than Seungmin's. He can tell the younger is ready to go to bed, or rather, was already in bed before Minho decided to interrupt his peace and quiet. He knows he is practically signing up for an early death by dropping by Seungmin’s apartment at this time of night, with a day of classes ahead no less. Not that Minho really cares about the time, but unlike him, Seungmin actually has his life together. Meaning the boy goes to bed at the same time every night so he can get enough sleep and won’t wake up feeling like a zombie in the morning. Minho had tried adapting to this kind of schedule as well, which had gone well for a total of three days before a new season of his favourite show aired and he just had to binge it in two days. So there’s that.
Anyway, Minho is ready to intrude on Seungmin’s nightly routine at the cost of losing an estimated minimum of 4 of his fingers. The menacing glare Seungmin directs at him definitely is a promise of a severe decrease in Minho’s limb count. However, it’s effectively weakened by the baby pink t-shirt he’s wearing and his pyjama pants, which have some weird animal pattern on them that Minho chooses to ignore. Heaven (or rather Minho) knows Seungmin’s choices in lounge wear tend to be quite unique, to say the least.
"Why, can't I spontaneously decide to visit my favourite boy in the world?" Minho answers with an overly sweet smile, which only makes Seungmin scowl even more.
"First of all, we both know that’s a lie. Secondly, Lee Minho, you better have a very good reason to disturb me in the middle of the night or I swear to god," Seungmin snarls and Minho is almost a little intimidated.
Nevertheless, the younger steps out of the way to let Minho walk inside of the apartment.
"First of all, that's hyung to you," Minho smiles smugly, because he doesn’t have a sense of self-preservation, "second of all, I just finished work and didn't wanna go home yet. So I thought, why not go see my sweet Seungminnie?" he says in a high-pitched voice and goes to pinch the younger boy's cheek, but Seungmin swats at his hand before it can reach his face.
"But hyuuung, couldn't you have waited until tomorrow? I'm tired and I have class in the morning," Seungmin whines as he walks into the living room, Minho following right behind. He strips off his jacket, carelessly letting it fall somewhere on the floor. He ignores Seungmin’s judging stare and makes his way to the couch, collapsing into the cushions next to where the younger has just made himself comfortable. He lets out a contented sigh as his body sinks into the accumulation of soft pillows that are piled up all over the couch. Minho assumes Seungmin’s roommate brought them into the apartment when they moved in together, since the younger would never willingly spend money on such trivial things as decorative pillows.
It’s like the exhaustion from a day of classes combined with a long shift of stocking shelves with groceries right after suddenly crashes down on him all at once now that he can finally relax. He doesn’t even notice how his eyes start drooping shut until Seungmin very ungently slaps his arm.
“Hey, hyung! You don’t get to make me get out of bed when I’m just about to fall asleep and then nap on my fucking couch!,” the brunet complains, shaking Minho’s arm in an attempt to fully wake him up.
Instantly becoming more alert thanks to the rough treatment, Minho wildly swats at the other’s hands to fight him off when he still won’t stop hitting him. ”Bitch, stop!,” he screeches and Seungmin, now apparently convinced that his wake-up method was successful, stops the attack and retracts his hands.
“I guess you’re gonna stay the night then, huh?” Seungmin asks and Minho just hums in response, his tired body feeling like it’s melting into the fluffy pillows as he tries to settle back into them.
Right then, there is the sound of a door opening down the hallway, followed by quiet footsteps. It’s also in that moment that Minho remembers that they are not alone in the apartment. Because apparently Seungmin’s roommate is actually home and outside of his room for once while Minho is here. The prospect of finally witnessing both Seungmin and his roommate at home at the same time after almost two years of them living together wakes Minho up immediately. A few seconds later said roommate appears in the doorway to the living room, looking equal parts annoyed, confused, and very sleepy.
Now, Seo Changbin is no stranger to Minho. They have known each other for a few years, having met through their mutual friend Chan, who had introduced them when Changbin had newly transferred to their school (it’s also thanks to the older that he, Minho and their childhood friends kept in touch even after all of them moved from their hometown to Seoul for university separately).
However, the brief encounters during lunch breaks and at their friends’ birthday parties never got them further than the acquaintances stage. Minho can’t remember Changbin and him ever having had a full conversation on their own, which they likely owe to the fact that their meetings are always a bit awkward. Normally, one would also expect they would run into each other whenever Minho comes over to their apartment to hang out with Seungmin, but the black-haired boy is always either out or locked into his room 'to work', as Seungmin had explained once. Minho doesn't know what Changbin majors in, but he has seen him around students of the art department before, so he just assumes he’s studying something like that.
Seeing Changbin now, leaned against the doorframe to the living room, Minho realises this is the first time he is ever actually seeing him at home. Minho also realises something else. Standing there, face puffy from sleep, eyes barely opened and his lips slightly pouted, Changbin looks really fucking cute. (Not to mention the fluffiness of his messy hair that sticks out every which way.) However, the cuteness of his face kind of contradicts with the rest of his body. Quickly letting his eyes rake over the rest of Changbin, Minho notices the boy's black shorts which reveal a few inches of his thick thighs, as well as the black tank top he is wearing. What really catches the brunets attention however isn't the shirt, but rather Changbin's arms. Minho is almost sure he is about to start salivating at the sight of the boy's strong and toned arms (and are those tattoos??? Oh god) before he catches himself and forces his eyes to focus on Changbin's face and not trail any lower.
Where the hell did these thoughts even come from?? He must really be tired.
Although Minho is always quick to shut down any claims his friends make about him having a type, he isn’t afraid to admit that he can (and will) appreciate a man with a nice body. And Changbin definitely has a nice body, at least as far as Minho can tell from his visible body parts. Minho has no idea how he never noticed before just how much Changbin matured over the last few years.
Minho is pulled from his thoughts by a new voice breaking the brief silence that had settled in the room. "Seungminnie, who're you talking to." Changbin grumbles, his voice whiny and a bit raspy from only recently waking up.
"Sorry hyung, did we wake you? Minho-hyung decided to drop by for some reason," Seungmin answers, his tone softer than Minho has ever heard it. His surprise about the younger's unusual softness quickly dissipates when Seungmin sends him a glare to accompany his statement. Minho sticks his tongue out at him in retaliation.
Changbin suddenly seems more awake as his eyes widen after hearing about their visitor. His cheeks flush a light pink and he crosses his arms over his chest as if to hide himself. Then he thinks better of it and his hands quickly shoot up in an attempt to make his hair look a bit more presentable. He is clearly embarrassed by his mussed up appearance, which Minho doesn’t mind at all, since the combination of the flustered blush and the remaining sleepiness on Changbin’s face make him look undeniably adorable.
Again, what the fuck?
After pushing these thoughts to the very back of his mind, Minho gets a feeling of admiration for the boy, because Changbin goes to sleep even earlier than well-put-together Kim Seungmin, so he must really have his life under control. Even in university. Minho could never.
“O-oh, hi hyung,” Changbin stutters. Minho gives a small wave of his hand in greeting. Changbin rapidly blinks at him for about two seconds and then quickly looks away and rushes to answer Seungmin’s question. “Don’t worry about it Minnie, I wanted to get some water anyway.” And then he disappears back into the hallway and in the direction of the kitchen.
Minho is left staring at the spot the boy was in just a second ago, before he regains his composure after Changbin’s rather quick departure.
Shaking off the confusion about the younger practically fleeing from the room, he turns back to Seungmin.
“Alright! Now…you got some food?” Seungmin’s expression instantly loses any remaining softness and morphs back into one that has Minho fearing for his life for a second.
“Hyung…you work in a fucking grocery store and yet you still come into my house, disturb my sleep schedule and now you want me to feed you my groceries which I bought with my hard-earned money? The audacity- ,”
Minho doesn’t have enough time to protect himself from the next onslaught of Seungmin’s slapping hands.
*********************
Minho's first encounter with Seo Changbin that went beyond awkward greetings took place at Chan's seventeenth birthday party. The older’s birthdays were always an exciting affair, because he lived in a big house and his parents always came up with some special ideas to make the parties as exciting as possible. And because Chan and Minho were friends since kindergarten, he had been invited to every single one of them, so that was pretty cool.
Chan's parents had apparently deemed seventeen a fitting age to let their son simply invite some friends to their house to hang out for his birthday instead of doing intricately organized games and whatever else they had come up with for the past years. (Minho was convinced they were neither responsible for nor aware of the impressively large supply of alcoholic drinks on the coffee table, because otherwise they sure as hell wouldn’t leave a bunch of 14 to 17 year-olds unsupervised in their house for the night.)
They all had a good time. Minho had a few drinks, because there was no way he was passing up an opportunity to get a little drunk once in a while. He wasn’t wasted by any means and he wasn’t really planning to get to that point either, even though he easily could since he was sleeping over anyways.
It was a little past 11 PM and Minho was in a happy state of slight drunkenness, having a few conversations with his friends and some other people he didn’t know that well and occasionally stopping the younger kids from getting their hands on the alcohol, since the older boys among them had decided that no one younger than 16 should have any.
(Minho got a pass because his birthday was only like three weeks away, according to Chan.)
“Hey, come sit down, let’s all do something together!” Chan announced enthusiastically from where he was already sitting on the floor with his arm slung around Jisung, who was one of the younger ones and therefore not allowed to drink (like the rest of them, but technicalities), so he just kept giggling at the tipsy antics of his hyungs. There was already a circle forming around them in the middle of the living room and Minho chose to just plop down on the ground next to a guy called Jungkook, who apparently was in Chan’s year.
“Ok, now what? Are we gonna play Truth or Dare or something?” Hyunjin, who Chan tutored in Physics and consequently adopted into their friend group, asked. He was clearly joking, but Chan just clapped his hands excitedly and praised him for the ‘great suggestion’. And so it began. For the first fifteen minutes of the game Minho just sat and watched as the others had to complete silly dares and answer some truths which weren’t very scandalous at all, because they were all teenagers and there weren’t a lot of crazy things any of them could have done at their age. Finally, one guy who he couldn’t remember the name of asked Minho if he had ever kissed someone before, which he simply answered with ‘yes’ because it wasn’t that big of a deal anyways. He didn’t really understand the whoops and teasing cheers of the other boys at his confession, because it had been a pretty underwhelming experience with a girl in his science class, so he didn’t know why they got so excited about it.
The game progressed further without any major incidents, until it was Jisung’s turn to ask someone to pick truth or dare.
“Changbin-hyung, truth or dare?” he called over to the boy who was sitting on the couch on the opposite side of the circle from Minho. He hadn’t even really noticed Changbin all night, until now. It didn’t really surprise Minho, Changbin was just quiet most of them time and really…small. His feet were dangling a few inches off the ground and he kept swinging them back and forth slightly. Changbin never seemed too keen on standing out and was pretty quiet most of the time. His shyness was obvious now, especially now that everyone’s attention was on him. Changbin gulped and squeaked out a quiet ‘truth’ after some contemplation, reminding Minho that they were currently playing a game he should probably pay more attention to.
Jisung, very much invested in this whole thing, seemed more than satisfied with his answer, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“Alright,” he drawled. “Out of everyone in this room, who would you choose to have your first kiss with?”
“Oooh, pick me, Changbinnie-hyung! You know you want to!” Hyunjin teased and made exaggerated kissy faces at Changbin, causing the rest of the boys to laugh.
“So? I’m waiting, hyungie,” Jisung sang once he had calmed down and regained his breath.
“You already know,” Changbin mumbled, blushing so brightly that it was visible in the dim lighting even from Minho’s spot across the room. The younger was so obviously uncomfortable that Minho felt a little bad for him.
“Hm, no, I don’t think I do,” Jisung replied with false innocence, rubbing his chin with his index finger as if he was deep in thought.
Changbin hesitated, his eyes flitting over everyone for a second. When he met Minho’s eyes he quickly looked down at his lap, where he was nervously wringing his hands. Minho watched as he took a deep breath.
“Minho-hyung.”
The words were spoken so quietly that Minho almost didn’t catch them. While the other boys all erupted in screaming and throwing teasing remarks the younger boy’s way, Minho was just confused. Surprised and flattered as well, sure. But mostly he didn’t understand why Changbin would pick him of all people, especially since they weren’t really close. Eventually, he concluded that Changbin had just picked the lesser evil (as in: just answering with a random person instead of exposing his real crush) and that was about it. So he brushed it off, since this was something that would probably be forgotten in the morning. And 15 year-old Lee Minho was straight anyway, so it didn’t matter.
However, the other boys (and especially Jisung, of course) obviously had other plans.
“Now you gotta!” Minho couldn’t believe that this came from Chan of all people.
“W-what?” Changbin stuttered, his voice seemed even quieter to Minho than before. He was also kind of worried the younger might combust any second with how red his face had become.
“You gotta kiss!” Jisung screamed enthusiastically.
Minho saw Changbin’s eyes widen at the younger’s exclamation and he could only imagine his were just the same by now.
“No no, hyung is probably uncomfortable. Just drop it, Ji,” Changbin retorted.
Of course, Jisung ignored him. Minho suddenly realized he really should’ve followed the whole ordeal of the game more actively as he was all but dragged across the circle until he was right in front of Changbin. The second the two of them were face to face, the others fell silent, probably not wanting to miss whatever they were expecting to see them do.
Minho made the mistake of letting his eyes meet Changbin’s. The younger looked absolutely terrified and Minho didn’t know what to do. In the background he heard Jisung whine about them being “boring as hell”, which earned him a pinch to the side by Chan if his squeak was anything to go by.
It was then that Minho decided to just end this whole situation as quickly as possible. With another look into Changbin’s eyes he tried to somehow ask the younger for permission, and Changbin seemed to get the message as he gave a tiny, jerky nod in response.
Minho took one last deep breath before he closed his eyes and leaned forward.
The feeling of his heart fluttering a little the second Changbin’s soft lips met his own was one he decidedly chose to ignore.
*********************
Fast forward 7 years and Lee Minho is a bisexual mess. Several non-heterosexual hook-ups and an embarrassing crush on Chan that lasted a few too many months (eight to be precise, but Minho would rather die than admit that) had proven that maybe he wasn’t as straight as he thought. Besides Minho’s newly discovered love for boys quite a few things had changed throughout the past years. The circle of friends Minho and (mostly) Chan have formed with Jisung, Hyunjin, Changbin and Seungmin over the years has recently grown by two new additions. One of them being Yang Jeongin, who was Seungmin’s fuckbuddy/almost-boyfriend (although Seungmin denies there are any feelings involved) and Lee Felix, who is basically sunshine in human form. Minho is pretty sure Felix and Chan have a thing with each other, despite the older somewhat priding himself on being the only straight guy in their friend group (which Minho knows definitely isn’t true, especially after walking in on him with Felix’s dick in his mouth on more than one occasion. He had miraculously managed to leave before either of them noticed he was there. Minho wouldn’t be caught dead meddling in his best friend’s business). Aside from that, they have all grown up quite a bit (and become a lot hotter, in Minho’s humble opinion) and more dead inside, thanks to college.
However, if one thing remained a constant in all of their lives, it’s Chan’s annual birthday parties. Granted, there are now significantly more people invited, courtesy of the guy’s ever-growing circle of acquaintances and friends throughout the last few years. The parties are also a whole lot wilder than they used to be, which sometimes makes Minho feel glad that Chan moved out of his parents’ house and into his own apartment when he started college. Especially since for the last three years the older had called him and a few of their other closest friends the morning after to go on a quick trip to IKEA, mostly to get a replacement for his coffee table or his bed which had somehow not survived the night before.
That’s how Minho, expecting the best but also the worst from the hours ahead, finds himself knocking on the door of Chan’s apartment on this year’s 3rd of October. It’s a little past 8 PM, a good hour before the party is supposed to start, since he promised to help setting up the drinks and snacks and whatever else is needed. Through the door, he can already hear music blasting from the inside, some song that he thinks is currently popular on Tik Tok, or whatever.
Minho gave up on trying to keep up with the mainstream music scene months ago, instead he just listens to whatever songs he likes from those automatically generated Spotify mixtapes or the songs Chan sends him whenever he finishes another one and wants an opinion on it. Why he chooses to ask Minho of all people is a mystery to him, since he knows next to nothing about music production, but it’s kind of flattering so Minho isn’t going to complain.
Judging by the music coming from the inside of the apartment, Felix managed to somehow convince Chan to let the him manage the music for tonight (for now at least, and probably only because Chan knows perfectly well that the freckled boy will pass out drunk 2 hours into the evening, especially with Jisung also being there, so that he can play something else for the rest of the night).
Of course, it’s no surprise when Felix swings the door open a few seconds later. He’s still yelling something over his shoulder in English, presumably to Chan, before he turns around and squeals upon finding Minho standing in the doorway.
“Minho-hyung!,” he giggles excitedly as he wraps the older into a hug before pulling back and promptly stuffing his hands into Minho’s hair with a gasp. The same hair which Minho spent nearly 45 minutes styling until it looked just right, thank you very much.
“Oh my God, hyung! You dyed your hair!” he says, still combing his fingers through Minho’s newly-dyed orange locks.
“Yeah I did, thought it was time for a change,” he replies, carefully ducking away from Felix’s hands. The younger’s hand is hovering in the air for a second before the awed look on his face fades and it falls back down to his side. Felix just stands there for a moment, grinning so brightly at Minho it almost blinds him.
“It really suits you, hyungie,” Jisung chimes in, suddenly hanging off of Felix’s shoulders, seemingly out of nowhere. Minho almost yells in surprise.
“Thanks, Sungie. I was hoping the colour would turn out a little less bright, but oh well.” Minho mutters, absentmindedly fiddling with some of the strands. It was his own fault really, after all he had stuck the post-it with the gentle reminder
‘LEE MINHO DON’T DIE YOUR HAIR WHILE YOU’RE DRUNK YOU DUMB BITCH (YOU DON’T WANT TO LOOK LIKE A FUCKING HIGHLIGHTER AGAIN)’
to his bathroom mirror for a reason. He would like to avoid waking up hungover as fuck and with a neon-green mob of what vaguely resembles his hair ever again. Evidently, his plan wasn’t very successful, since Minho, slightly wine-drunk and exhausted from his work shift, had happily ignored any warning signs that maybe dyeing his hair at two in the morning was a bad idea. The result, as he realised when he first got a good look at himself in the mirror this morning, is a bright orange shade which reminds him more of a pumpkin or a carrot, than of the soft peach tone which he was apparently going for. At least that is what the empty box of hair-dye Minho found on his bathroom counter suggested. Either way, it sure is a change from the light lavender colour he had sported for the last few months, so at least he reached his goal.
The two boys finally step aside to grant Minho entrance to the apartment.
“We’re already almost done with preparations for later actually, so we were just about to start pre-gaming a bit,” Felix tells him. Minho just grunts in acknowledgement as he tries to undo the laces of his boots while simultaneously attempting to make his newly ruffled hair look somewhat presentable again. After Minho has also rid himself of his jacket, the two younger boys start to lead the way to the living room. Minho has been at Chan’s apartment more times than he can count, so he arrives there faster than them. It may also be because Jisung is clinging to Felix’s back and seems unwilling to let go. This results in the two having to waddle along kind of awkwardly and when Minho sees them almost trip from their legs getting tangled up for the fourth time, he chooses to pretend he simply does not see it.
Upon entering the living room, Minho immediately spots Chan, who seems to be trying to fit more bottles of different kinds of alcohol Minho has never seen before in his life on the already overflowing dining table. Chan apparently hasn’t noticed his presence, probably thanks to the weird pop songs that are still blaring throughout the room at a deafening volume, so he decides to announce his arrival to the older by running headfirst into his back and wrapping him in a hug.
Chan tenses up almost violently at the sensation of a body crashing into him without warning and he takes a second before chancing a glance over his shoulder.
They both break out into brightest smiles and shriek in excitement upon making eye contact and Chan quickly whirls around in Minho’s grip to wrap his own arms around him.
“Happy Birthday, Channie-hyung!” Minho squeals into his ear. Chan responds with some resemblance of ‘thank you’ as they just kind of jump around in place. They must look absolutely ridiculous and only break apart at the sound of clattering, caused by Jisung and Felix finally entering the living room and immediately bumping into the coffee table by the door.
“I’m so happy you’re here!” Chan exclaims, as if Minho would ever miss out on one of his birthdays. He let’s go off Minho in favour of helping the two younger boys get back up from the floor. Minho doesn’t miss his best friend taking a few moments longer to check Felix over for any injuries caused by their antics and has to stifle a laugh. He wonders how long Chan is going to keep up the pretence of him and Felix just being ‘best bros’. (But again, not his business.)
The doorbell rings and Minho takes the liberty of opening the front door. He can’t even get a look at the person before they fling themselves at him. He tenses up before he’s being engulfed in a cloud of Hyunjin’s flowery perfume and relaxes instantly.
“Hyungie!” the younger squeals before letting him go eventually, so Minho can finally see him properly. Hyunjin, as always, went all out on his styling. His almost shoulder-length black hair is done up in a ponytail with some strands falling into his eyes, which are accentuated by glittery eyeshadow. His makeup makes him look even more beautiful than usual and suddenly Minho feels like he’s looking a little bland next to the taller, even though their outfits are pretty similar. They are both wearing black skinny jeans with loose blouses tucked into them, but while Hyunjin’s is a burgundy colour and made of a velvety fabric, Minho’s is black and a little sheer. He pushes his insecurities away and only notices then that the younger didn’t come alone. Behind him, Seungmin and Changbin are still standing in the threshold. Minho catches the latter staring at him right as Seungmin shoves him into the apartment. He barely manages to greet the two as he’s pulled into the living room by Hyunjin, who seems all too eager to get the party started.
*************************
About three hours into the night, Minho, along with Seungmin and Jeongin, who arrived about an hour ago, managed to claim one of the couches in the by now absolutely packed living room. At some point during their conversation about Jeongin’s parents’ new dog, who apparently absolutely despises him, Minho catches sight of Felix emerging from the kitchen and looking adorably determined as he makes his way over to the three of them on the couch. Judging by the way he stumbles quite a few times within the short distance it takes him to get there and giggles whenever he has to apologize for almost crashing into someone, he’s well past the point of being tipsy.
“Heyyy, do you guys wanna like, go up to the rooftop with me right now?” Felix shouts over the music, his words a little too loud even over the heavy bass, and more than a little slurred. Minho considers his offer, mulling over whether he really wants to be responsible for making sure that Felix doesn’t fall of the roof or something, but he eventually decides that he could use some fresh air. The room has become pretty stuffy, which is no wonder with the amount of people moving around and talking in the closed space. Also, he has been witness to Jeongin and Seungmin eye-fucking each other for the past 10 minutes and he isn’t particularly keen on being there for when they eventually do start sucking face or something similar which Minho definitely does not want to see.
He’s just about to tell Felix that he’ll come with, but right then Felix spots someone in the crowd of people around them. Minho can’t see the person yet from where he’s sitting on the couch, but he guesses it’s one of Felix’s friends by the way the boy points finger guns at them and winks exaggeratedly. Minho is about to laugh at how ridiculous he looks, but then he realises it’s Changbin who’s coming over to them.
He hasn’t seen Changbin since the night he spent over at Seungmin and his apartment and the contrast between the younger looking all soft and cute in his pyjamas and being all done up for a party almost gives Minho whiplash for a second. He tries (unsuccessfully) not to ogle at him too obviously, but the outfit Changbin’s wearing nearly makes him choke on the sip he just took of his drink. The guy is wearing a suit. It’s still more casual than something one would wear to a formal business meeting, but Minho is still convinced anyone else would look like a clown wearing it to a house party of all things. Changbin can pull it off though. How, Minho has no idea.
Granted, the younger doesn’t wear the jacket, instead carrying it in one of his hands, but the way the sleeves of the white dress shirt are rolled up to expose Changbin’s tattooed forearms make everything that much worse for Minho. He’s kind of afraid he’s started drooling as he tunes back into the scene of Changbin immediately being wrapped into a hug by Felix once he reaches them. The blond screeches an overjoyed “Binnie-hyung!” into his ear. He hugs him back and pats his back a couple times, before he gently pries Felix’s arms and one of his legs off of him.
“Binnie-hyung, do you wanna go up to the roof with me? Minho-hyung is also coming, right Minho-hyung?” Felix asks, giving them his best puppy dog eyes. Changbin’s eyes flicker towards Minho and widen a fraction in realisation when he notices him beside Felix.
Minho just nods in Felix’s direction, because the youngest is still looking back and forth between them with a pout on his lips.
“Yeah alright, Lix. Lead the way,” Changbin complies as well. Felix claps excitedly, links his arm with Changbin’s and pulls Minho up from the couch to do the same with him. As he’s being pulled away, he briefly considers whether it’s rude of him to just leave Seungmin and Jeongin behind. He looks back over his shoulder just in time to see Seungmin climbing into Jeongin’s lap with the younger’s hands immediately sliding down to his ass and their mouths already firmly attached to each other.
Minho decides he made a wonderful choice by getting out of there.
They struggle a bit to squeeze their way through the mass of dancing bodies and Minho protectively holds his bottle of whatever drink he last grabbed from the kitchen to his chest (he has no idea what the hell it is because there’s no label on it whatsoever, but the taste is decent and kind of like wine so he’s just going to hope it’s that). Eventually, they make it to the front door of Chan’s apartment and almost to the stairwell, when Minho realises that they somehow lost Felix along the way and worries for a second that he passed out drunk in the sea of people without them noticing. That fear disappears quickly though, when Minho is halfway out the door and spots Felix as he’s being pulled into Chan’s (soundproof) studio down the hall by none other than the man himself. He decides the younger is in good hands and continues following Changbin, who is now almost at the top of the stairs and seemingly hasn’t realised that they lost Felix. Which means that it’s just the two of them now.
Right.
He catches up to Changbin as the latter pushes open the door to the roof and steps outside behind him. The door slams shut behind them and the loud bang it causes makes Minho flinch. They take a few more steps into the middle of the rooftop and a cool gust of wind hits them. It’s not too cold yet, what with his body still being warmed up from being in a room full of people for the past couple hours, but the chill in the air makes Minho glad he thought to grab his jacket on the way out.
He mentally thanks Felix for essentially leading them here, because the view is absolutely breath-taking. (And by view Minho definitely means the countless city lights which twinkle all around and below them, not Changbin. Of course.)
Minho decides he’s in too deep when Changbin turns around with a small smile on his face and his heartbeat speeds up at an alarming rate. It’s ridiculous.
What’s up with him lately?
Changbin’s facial expression changes to one of confusion when he notices the lack of Australian blond boy with them up there.
“Where’d Lix go?” he asks, tilting his head like he’s trying to look around Minho to find Felix behind him.
“Dunno, he went somewhere with Chan, I think,” Minho shrugs.
“Ah well, guess it’s just the two of us then, huh?” Changbin says nonchalantly, but the breathy laugh he adds at the end sounds a little nervous.
Maybe he actually hates me and now he’s uncomfortable because he has to spend time alone with me. Or it’s because we don’t know each other well and he thinks it’s awkward. But surely he would just go back downstairs again if he really doesn’t want to be here, right?
Right.
Minho decides he's being ridiculous and forces himself to stop overthinking before Changbin can notice that something is wrong.
Is there even anything wrong? Not really, he’s just awfully nervous for some reason and his already limited social skills have left the chat completely as it seems. Minho mentally curses Chan for being a horny idiot, because if it wasn’t for him, Felix would be up here with them and make this whole situation a whole lot easier.
“Wanna sit down over there?” Changbin asks hesitantly after the awkward silence drags on for a little too long. He’s pointing towards the edge of the roof, were only a small metal railing would keep them from falling off. Minho gulps.
He nods his head in agreement nonetheless, because he doesn’t want to just stand around right in the middle of the rooftop any longer. As they reach the spot Changbin suggested, Minho risks a glance over the edge. They are pretty high up, which is no surprise to him since he’s been up here before. However, he never dared to walk this close to the edge before. Luckily there’s a small platform about 6 feet below them which would probably save him from falling to his death. Hopefully.
Clinging onto that thought for dear life, Minho sits down slowly, but still fast enough so Changbin won’t notice that he’s actually terrified. His efforts are for naught though, because his knees tremble almost violently as he wills the first leg to leave the security of the concrete below him. Changbin, who has already made himself comfortable on the ground, suddenly grabs Minho’s hand and gently guides him to sit down.
“Are you okay?” he asks. He sounds genuinely worried and Minho’s heart does a thing.
“Y-yeah, ‘m just…kinda really scared of heights?” Minho admits and curses himself for stuttering and sounding stupid in general. Changbin is still holding his hand. Minho wants to scream.
No really, what the fuck??
“Oh…oh! I’m so sorry, hyung. I had no idea! We can just go back downstairs?” Changbin offers, looking like he’s about to get back up.
“No, it’s alright! I’m okay, I swear!” Minho says hurriedly.
Changbin nods, settling back down, and then they’re silent again. Minho glances at the younger, who is gazing at the view of the city. He decides to do the same. As long as he doesn’t look down, he’ll be fine, Minho keeps telling himself.
He won’t fall.
***********************
Minho’s phone lighting up with a notification informs him that he’s spent the last 37 minutes on the roof. He ignores the new message or call or whatever it is in favour of following Changbin’s story about his aunt’s cat trying to bite one of his toes off when he was a kid. The story should be lame as hell, he thinks, but Minho can’t stop laughing for some reason. His stomach kind of hurts and there are actual tears running down his face. Minho thinks he’s gone insane.
He’s surprised the two of them got a (more than) decent conversation going after Changbin broke the awkward silence between them after 5 minutes of them pretending to still be amazed by the view of the city.
The realisation that Changbin isn’t only pretty and funny but also incredibly easy to talk to now that the ice between them has been broken, kind of messes with Minho’s head. It’s way too soon for the butterflies in his stomach to go absolutely crazy at the sight of the younger’s smile (it’s a very nice smile) or the sound of his laughter. A small part of him hopes that it’s just the alcohol in his system talking, but whatever amount he has consumed tonight surely isn’t enough to make him imagine these feelings. If anything, it gave him some liquid courage to keep talking and act like a functioning human being, even if he in fact does not feel like one.
As Changbin breaks out into another fit of giggles at something Minho said (good lord, his heart), Minho concludes that maybe he fell a little bit in love tonight.
The next sip he takes of his drink tastes way too sweet for his liking.
*********************
It’s another hour, or maybe two, later, and they’re still talking. The two of them have shared just about anything and everything there is to know about themselves in regards of basic information and cute childhood anecdotes. Minho is well aware that he has a tendency to overshare in late-night-conversations, sober or not. Except this time, in contrary to many other situations in the past, he doesn’t think he’s going to regret it when he wakes up tomorrow. Changbin and he are getting to know each other. He likes that.
Eventually, the conversation has started to drift off into much more deep and personal territories and Minho can barely hold himself back from grabbing the younger and wrapping him up in a tight hug. The urge only gets stronger when he takes note of how quiet Changbin’s voice has become. He sounds incredibly vulnerable in a way Minho almost doesn’t feel deserving of hearing.
He listens anyway, and his heart swells with gratitude at the trust the other boy puts in him.
Changbin tells him about his family, his parents and his sister. About the time when Chan approached him for the first time after the first music club meeting he attended after transferring to their school and how grateful he was, because he was terrified he wouldn’t find any friends there. Minho can’t help smiling fondly at the story, because it’s just so much like Chan to befriend someone out of the blue and be a source of comfort when they need it most.
However, Minho can’t help but wonder why Changbin was afraid of not meeting anyone willing to befriend him back then. Sure, the younger wasn’t a very outgoing person, but he always thought Changbin had something about him that made him likeable in his own way. He can’t explain what it is exactly, he just always had the impression that it was easy to get along with him. Minho used to think that the reason the two of them never became closer friends was that Changbin was too shy to initiate conversation and Minho was too awkward and clumsy with his words around new people to approach him outside of group meet-ups. He thought that maybe they just weren’t compatible in that sense (tonight has definitely proven him wrong in this regard). It never occurred to Minho that Changbin was someone who could potentially be an outsider.
“You know, hyung, just because I was always open about my sexuality doesn’t mean that everyone was always supportive of it and accepted me just like that,” Changbin says with a sad smile. He doesn’t meet Minho’s eyes, preferring to keep his gaze focused on the beer bottle in his hands or occasionally looking up at the night sky and Seoul’s skyline. Minho nods, not saying anything, because he isn’t sure if Changbin expects or wants him to respond. Instead he watches how the millions and millions of city lights reflect in the younger’s eyes.
Changbin is idly swinging his feet back and forth and Minho wonders how he can look this relaxed while also looking so incredibly sad at the same time. It makes his heart ache in his chest.
A whole lot for Changbin, a little bit for himself, too.
“It’s just- you know, hyung,” he says again after a while, breathing in sharply. “I was so young when I came out, you know that.”
And Minho does know that. It was something that he had always secretly admired about Changbin, despite them not really knowing each other. He was brave enough to share that part of himself so openly when he was just barely 14 years old, even though he must have known he could easily ruin his life by doing so.
He still doesn’t say anything, though, just grabs the one of Changbin’s hands which isn’t holding his drink and gives it what he hopes is a reassuring squeeze.
“I know it’s kind of a miracle that my parents took it so well back then, even if my friends didn’t. I- I have never once regretted it though, coming out I mean, even if some people made it hard for me. Mostly because I don’t have to hide anymore, well, around the people I trust, anyway. But also because I probably never would have met Chan-hyung and you guys,” his eyes are wet with unshed tears when he finally turns to look at Minho, and he watches how they make the city lights’ reflection blur when Changbin finally meets his eyes. There’s still the same hint of a smile on the younger’s lips, except now, when he looks at Minho, it’s a little less sad.
Minho tries very hard not to think about the implications of what Changbin just told him, but he can’t help but wonder how much Changbin has really gone through. How much bullying he’s had to endure for being gay, maybe even by the people he thought were his friends. He thinks back to how Changbin had changed schools in the middle of the year and how Chan had introduced them. While he had found it a little odd at the time, it now occurs to him for the first time that it was likely because the younger needed to get away from the people, his friends, at his old school.
He swallows thickly and wills away tears of his own, which are mostly owed to his anger at the idiots who probably made Changbin’s life a living hell, simply for being himself.
“You know, I-” Minho finally begins to say. He cuts himself off to clear his throat, because it suddenly feels too dry and his voice comes out raspy. “I’ve always kind of admired you.”
Changbin squeezes his hand at his words and it urges Minho to continue.
“I admire you for being so strong all the time. You’ve always fought through all the shit people have given you on your own. And I know we were never really close at school, but no one ever noticed a thing, even when you were struggling so badly. I know that because Chan would’ve said something to me if one of his close friends was in a bad place and he didn’t know how to help. He didn’t though, because you took all of it on by yourself. You are so incredibly brave, Changbin. I don’t think I could ever do what you’ve done at such a young age,” Minho finishes his little speech with a shaky breath.
It’s the truth, Minho has yet to come out to his parents and even though he knows there is no rush and that he has amazing friends who will always support him, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be ready.
Changbin squeezes Minho’s hand again, the soft gesture urging him to look at the other.
There are even more tears brimming Changbin’s eyes now and Minho watches as one of them escapes and trails down the younger’s cheek. He reaches out with his free hand to wipe it away.
He doesn’t know why he does it, but instead of pulling away again, he leaves it there to gently cup Changbin’s cheek in his hand.
“Thank you, hyung,” Changbin breathes out as he leans into the touch.
“I’m proud of you,” Minho says, because everything else he just said still doesn’t seem enough.
He immediately regrets his words though, as Changbin finally bursts into tears, unable to hold back any longer.
Minho feels lost on what to do for a second before he lifts his hand to the back of the younger’s head to bring it down to rest on his shoulder.
Changbin buries his face in the crook of Minho’s neck, his warm tears hitting his skin.
Minho thinks this should feel odd, the two of them who were really barely more than strangers before tonight, sitting on a rooftop somewhere in Seoul while one of them is sobbing uncontrollably and the other is trying to comfort him. He finds it doesn’t though, instead it almost feels natural, to talk so honestly like this and just…be here together.
“H-hyung,” Changbin sobs after a while, his voice breaking before he can speak any further. Minho shushes him. He waits for the younger to calm down enough to speak properly and keeps lightly stroking through his hair.
“Minho-hyung” he tries again after a few heartbeats, and Minho hums to let him know he’s listening. “I-it’s just that,” Changbin hiccups “I don’t feel like I deserve it. You, o-or anyone else being proud of me, I mean.”
“Why would you say that?” Minho asks quietly. There’s no judgement in his voice, just a bit of heartbreak at the younger’s words.
“Just, I-I don’t know, I’m thankful for it, but it feels wrong, kind of. B-because I wasn’t very strong, most of the time. I wasn’t very…kind to myself.” Changbin’s voice gets progressively smaller with each word, “sometimes I asked myself whether everyone else would just be better of w-without me”
Changbin lets out a soft sob and Minho’s heart stutters at what he’s insinuating.
“You’re still here, though. Right?” Minho says eventually, after making sure that he wouldn’t start crying too as soon as he starts talking. He tries to smile softly at the small boy in his arms, but his lower lip wobbles dangerously.“You’ve been through so much, so many bad days, and you’ve survived all of them. No matter how many mistakes you’ve made, you’ve made it through all the bad times in your life. I’d say you’re pretty strong, don’t you agree?”
All he gets in response is another sob followed by a hiccup.
“Shhh, hey, look at me” Minho cradles Changbin’s face in his hands and gently tilts his face up. When their eyes meet, Minho’s breath hitches at how beautiful Changbin looks right now. Even with a blotchy face and his eyes red and puffy from crying for so long, he’s ethereal. Whatever Minho was going to say dies in his throat when he catches the look in the younger’s eyes, mirroring the same fondness he feels deep in his chest and something else he can’t quite place.
They are so close, Minho can feel each one of Changbin’s exhales on his skin and he’s unable to tear his eyes away from the younger’s own.
“Can I kiss you?” he whispers once their faces are mere inches apart, having unconsciously moved towards each other.
He’s a little shocked at the words leaving his mouth, and Changbin’s eyes widen in surprise as well, but after a moment, the other nods.
“Yes, please.”
And so Minho leans in, a little hesitant still. Changbin’s seems to be a little less patient as he meets him halfway, pressing his mouth to Minho’s. The younger’s lips taste faintly like the fruity drink he’s been nursing the whole time, and Minho wonders how they are still so soft, even in the cool night air.
The two of them break apart after a few moments of letting their lips linger on each other. Without giving the older a second to breathe, Changbin kisses him again, this time with an urgency that catches Minho a bit off guard. He wastes no time to respond as he lets their lips slot together for a second time. It’s still soft, but he can feel the younger gradually pressing in harder and harder as he feels his own patience slipping away. Eventually, Minho dares to swipe his tongue along Changbin’s bottom lip and nips at it with his teeth right after. The other boy squeaks in surprise but it’s muffled by Minho taking the opportunity to slip his tongue into his mouth, which Changbin accepts gladly. The warm swipe of their tongues against each other has Minho squirming in his place and he gasps when one of the younger’s hands firmly grasps his thigh. They’re panting heavily as Minho pulls away briefly to catch his breath, only to dive right back into the younger. He feels like Changbin’s lips are slowly driving him insane as they continue making out. His soft noises are addictive.
Eventually, Changbin pulls back, his cheeks a pretty crimson colour as he smiles shyly at Minho. It’s a stark contrast to the way he let him devour his mouth and returned the favor just as passionately a few seconds ago.
Neither of them say anything. Changbin nestles his face back into the crook where Minho’s neck and shoulder meet and drifts off to sleep as Minho’s hands gently rub his lower back.
***************************
To Minho, it feels like time has stopped. He can’t remember ever feeling at peace like this before. Not when school finally let out for the summer and he was back at home, lying on the grass in his childhood home’s garden and listening to the “best friends 4ever <3” playlist Chan made for him, without a care in the world. Not when he woke up at 5 AM to watch the sunrise from his bedroom window, most of the world around him still asleep and a comforting silence in place of the usual traffic noise.
Changbin’s head is still resting on his shoulder, one of his own arms slung around the younger’s waist to keep him close. His steady breaths are hitting Minho’s neck in small puffs and he can see his own in the cold air, autumn ever so slowly blending into winter now that October has arrived. It’s been a while since Changbin fell asleep, probably having tired himself out after crying for so long. And the two of them making out for quite some time, too, of course.
The recent memory makes Minho feel warm inside.
He can still feel the sensation of the younger’s lips pressing against his, his tongue brushing against his own, the feeling of soft whimpers vibrating on Minho’s lips. He already kind of misses it, if he’s being honest.
Suddenly, Changbin’s head slips from its place on Minho’s shoulder. Instead, he burrows into the older’s chest with a content sigh. As comfortable as he is with Changbin cutely cuddling further into him, Minho decides it’s time to wake him up before he can fall into a deeper sleep. They still have to get home after all, and Minho has no idea how difficult of a person to wake up Changbin is.
Changbin’s lips are also kind of pressed against his exposed chest where Minho’s shirt has slipped down a little, and the way he feels heat creep onto his cheeks just from that is a tad too embarrassing for his liking.
Minho gently cards his fingers through the younger’s brown hair, feeling the softness of the strands as they slip through his fingers. He allows his hand to gently stroke Changbin’s face.
He begins to stir awake after a few moments, his eyelashes fluttering slightly.
“Hey,” Minho smiles softly down at the smaller boy, who slowly lifts his head and blinks at him drowsily for a few seconds. “Do you want to go home? Or at least back inside, it’s gotten pretty cold.”
Changbin obviously notices, as he fully sits up and immediately begins to shiver in the cold air of the night, now that Minho’s body heat doesn’t warm him any longer.
“Yes, okay. Let’s go, I’m kinda sleepy,” Changbin mumbles and blushes faintly as he adds, “Sorry for falling asleep on you.”
“Yeah, I could tell. And don’t worry about it, I didn’t mind,” Minho chuckles and goes to stand up. He only remembers that he’s been sitting at the brink of his death for the past few hours when he’s upright again and nearly loses his balance after sitting down for so long. Changbin’s hand immediately shoots up to steady him once again, and Minho gives him a grateful smile.
He shakes his legs a few times to get the blood flowing in them again and Changbin finally pulls on his jacket. He must be freezing now that his body is completey exposed to the cold.
As they head towards the door which will lead them back inside, Minho suddenly worries that they will leave whatever has happened on the roof tonight locked outside when the door closes behind them. After all, he has no clue what all of this means to Changbin, whether it means anything at all. He really doesn’t like the thought of pretending that nothing happened between them tonight, but if it’s what the younger wants, he’ll try his best to go with it.
Two minutes later, they find themselves back in front of Chan’s apartment.
The moment has a sense of finality to it that makes Minho uneasy.
“I think I’ll get going then,” Changbin says as they enter the apartment with the spare key under the doormat (which is something Minho keeps scolding Chan for, he doesn’t want his best friend to get robbed or murdered just because he hides the key in the most obvious of places, after all).
The door separating the hallway from the living room is closed, the noise of the party not yet destroying their little bubble, “Are you gonna go back in there?”
The question sounds hopeful in a way. Or maybe Minho just wants it to. Maybe he isn’t the only one who doesn’t want to part ways just yet.
“No, I don’t think I will. Not really in the mood to party anymore,” Minho answers and it seems like the only logical thing to do when he asks:
“Do you want me to walk you home?”
There’s a glint of something in Changbin’s eyes when his head snaps up from where he had nervously eyed his Converse to look up at Minho.
“I-I’d like that. A lot. I mean, y-you don’t have to though, hyung! ,” he stumbles over his words.
“No, it’s alright. I’ll walk you. It’s on my way home anyways,” Minho shrugs. It’s kind of a lie, really. It would take him at least 10 minutes longer to walk Changbin to his and Seungmin’s shared apartment first instead of going straight home. He has a feeling Changbin knows that too, with the way the other is raising an eyebrow at him questioningly.
“If you’re sure,” Changbin says nonetheless. For a split second Minho considers looking for Chan or any of the others to tell them they’re leaving, but he figures none of them would appreciate him crashing their current activities. He can only imagine what all of them are up to right now, and the thought of walking in on any of that makes him shiver. So he just let’s himself get pulled along as Changbin grabs for his hand again (and maybe the action causes the older’s heart to stutter in his chest. Maybe.)