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"You made me do it, you know."
"Do what?" asks Lee cautiously as they let the now tepid water of the officers' head continue to rain down on them.
"I had no intentions of marrying Sam. But apparently, New Caprica wasn't far enough away from you. I don't know that anywhere would have been far enough," she trails off. She’s beginning to question the wisdom of saying anything and just enjoy being alone with him as they tend to their injuries from “dance.” She and Lee do so much better when the words are all unspoken.
The sound of water fills the empty space between them. Lee knows better than to urge her on. Kara doesn't spill easily or often. He simply re-washes a cut above her eye that already stopped bleeding 20 minutes ago and bides his time.
"I refuse to put another Adama in the ground," she says in a voice so small he can barely hear her over the drum of the shower.
He knows he's close to losing her here, and makes her meet his eyes. "Kara, there's a long jump in logic between ‘Kara Thrace loves Lee Adama,’ and crying at my funeral, even for you." He waits a beat. "You WOULD cry at my funeral, wouldn't you?" Lee's serious face doesn't last for long and Kara sees the humour return to his eyes, something she hasn't seen in far too long.
"Well, duh."
"Is that the best you can do, Captain?"
"Kinda tired here, Major. I'm sure I'll come up with a zinger in the morning."
"Uh, Kara, it IS the morning."
"Shhhhh, no it's not."
The water, now bordering on cold, continues to sluice over their skin although neither seems to notice.
"I woke up and saw the scar, Lee." She kisses the puckered skin where her bullet pierced his shoulder, willing her non-explanation to convey all the things she still can't say to him.
"So you ran to hide behind Anders." Kara notices that while this wasn't a question, it wasn't an accusation, either. Lee just sounds... wistful.
"Hey, you're the one who tried to make this be about forever. I want your forever to last a whole lot longer than Zak's."
"Don't I get to decide what's best for me?"
"Not when you're talking with Little Lee."
"Little Lee?" he inquires with mock hurt painting his features. Kara just quirks her eyebrows after glancing down at her naked shower mate. Lee rolls his eyes as she snorts. "I'm just going to let that one lie there, Starbuck."
"Mighty big of you, Lee," she says with her trademark grin, glancing down again.
He sighs deeply and steels himself before saying something he knows is potentially dangerous. "Kara," he starts in exasperation, then clears his throat before starting again more softly. "Kara, you know that this isn't about sex."
"Of course I do! Why do you think I had to run away? Loving you scares the shit out of me! How many times have I almost killed you, Lee? How many times have I let you down? I would frak it all up, just like I always do, and then you'd leave. Once a frak up, always a frak up."
Lee pulls her close and rests his chin on her head. "I'm not going anywhere. I know who you are, Captain Thrace. Why can't you get it through that thick skull of yours that I'm crazy in love with you anyway?"
"Yeah, I am starting to get the idea, Apollo. No one ever accused you of being brilliant." A pained grunt when she gently elbows him in the ribs brings her back to their external reality. "Sorry for that," she says softly, hoping he realizes how much is wrapped up in her apology. "We really did a number on each other, didn't we?
"Don't we always?"
"So what happens now?" she asks abruptly, turning off the freezing trickle and handing him a towel.
"I tell Dee, you tell Sam? Ok, that sounded funnier in my head." Now, it's Kara's turn to roll her eyes. "Seriously, Kara? I don't know. But I do know this isn't just going to go away."
"No, it's really not."
They both sigh at the same time, and then laugh. They continue to get dressed in companionable silence. "That's one hell of a shiner, Starbuck," he observes after a spell.
She responds with the expected, "Yeah, well you should see the other guy."
Lee looks at himself in the still fogged-up mirror, and grimaces at the purple swelling above his left eye. "Yeah, well, he probably had it coming to him."
Years of history have taught Lee that Kara and serious discussion don't coexist in the same space for long. At this point, he'll take whatever she gives him. But he knows they've come a long way toward healing the things that are broken between them. He ruffles her hair and kisses her shoulder before dashing out the door, calling behind him, "Last one to the mess is a rotten egg!"
Kara’s raucous laughter fills the head.